Episode 59: “I Thought I Could Drink Better — Instead, I Learned How to Live Honestly” with Maggy

This week, we sit down with Maggy, who celebrated 12 years sober on November 9th. Originally from Illinois and now rooted in recovery after getting sober in New York City, Maggy’s story is one of radical honesty, humility, and learning how to rebuild herself again and again — even with years of sobriety behind her.

Maggy shares about her early attempts at sobriety, including a period where she believed she was sober — while still snorting Adderall. It wasn’t until she heard someone share about a similar experience in a meeting that the truth landed. She realized sobriety wasn’t about technicalities or loopholes — it was about honesty. That moment became a turning point.

Before getting sober, her drinking was filled with shame, isolation, and quiet desperation. She remembers sitting alone in her room, thinking, “I can drink better if I learn how to drink better.” That thought led her to open her computer and type “Alcoholics Anonymous.” Even then, denial still lingered. Her last drink was at a free concert where she told herself she wouldn’t drink — it was too expensive and wouldn’t do anything anyway. But she drank. Because she couldn’t not drink. And even though she constantly told herself she wasn’t “that bad,” she was living with daily thoughts of wanting to die.

Maggy got sober at just 22 years old and walked into her first meeting at the Atlantic Group in New York City — an experience she describes as intense, structured, and exactly what she needed. She jumped in headfirst, took direction, and grew up in the program. But like many, her journey wasn’t linear. Early in sobriety, she entered a relationship and unknowingly made that person her Higher Power. When the relationship eventually ended, she found herself spiritually disconnected and had to return to the rooms with the humility of a newcomer all over again at two years sober.

She shares openly about what it means to rebuild — not just once, but multiple times. At ten years sober, Maggy moved back to Illinois and once again faced the loneliness and discomfort of starting over. For a moment, she questioned whether she would ever find her people again. But through willingness and persistence, she did.

Maggy also speaks powerfully about mental health in recovery and the importance of outside help. She emphasizes that sponsors are there to guide someone through the steps — not to replace medical professionals or dictate mental health treatment. Her sponsor told her, “I’ll put your hand in God’s hand and take you through the steps,” giving her both spiritual guidance and the freedom to seek the professional help she needed.

Today, Maggy uses her experiences — including her mental health struggles — to help others find the right support and resources. She believes those challenges have given her purpose and compassion for others walking similar paths.

Maggy’s story is a reminder that recovery isn’t about perfection — it’s about self-honesty. It’s about telling the truth, asking for help, and being willing to start over as many times as it takes. Because sometimes the greatest freedom comes not from fixing yourself — but from finally being honest about who you are.