Episode 63: “The Two-Year Exit Plan That Changed Everything” with Jacob

This week, we sit down with Jacob, who has two and a half years sober and a story that captures the quiet shift from doing recovery for others… to finally choosing it for yourself.

Jacob opens up about a thought he carried with him early on — an “out” he had already planned. In his mind, he would stay sober for two years, and then most likely go back home, because deep down, he didn’t feel like he was doing it for himself. While he had always been social before sobriety, his first two years were marked by isolation and loneliness, leaving him questioning what this life was really for.

That began to change when he attended Camp Sober Fest to celebrate two years sober. It was there, surrounded by connection and community, that something clicked. For the first time, Jacob found a reason to stay sober that actually belonged to him.

Looking back, his story before sobriety was filled with chaos and broken promises. He shares about a trip to Martha’s Vineyard, where he had committed to staying sober for his family — a promise that quickly unraveled. Within days, he found himself using again, eventually leading to a blackout, a confrontation with his dad, and a night spent in jail on the island. That moment became a turning point. After refusing to return to his family’s house, he stayed with his aunt, where his sister called and предложed a new plan: go to California and get sober.

What was supposed to be a quick turnaround became delayed when Jacob tested positive for COVID, forcing him to sit still longer than he wanted. But eventually, he made it to California — this time with a different opportunity in front of him.

Although he had been to treatment before, Jacob admits the goal was never true sobriety — just learning how to manage his drinking. This time was different. He committed to a long-term program, staying in treatment for a full year and fully immersing himself in recovery.

Once there, Jacob hit the ground running. He quickly got a sponsor and worked the steps within three months — and then did them again. And again. Now on his fourth round of steps with his fourth sponsor, he shares honestly about the struggle to find the right connection — someone he could call without it feeling forced. That willingness to keep trying reflects the deeper work he’s committed to today.

He stayed busy in the rooms, attending up to nine meetings a week and building a foundation through consistency. By six months sober, he was already secretary of three meetings, a role that helped him build accountability and connection. For Jacob, simply showing up — over and over again — became the key to finding his place.

In this episode, Jacob also speaks to his experience as one of the only Black men in many of the rooms he attends, something that mirrors much of his upbringing. While he acknowledges the lack of diversity in Orange County, he shares his perspective with honesty — recognizing both the challenges and his own experience within it.

He reflects on early sobriety mistakes, including going out to bars during his first few months — something that eventually caught up with him when his sober living found out. Watching friends relapse during that time became a powerful lesson that helped reinforce his own commitment. He also shares about navigating relationships in sobriety, including dating someone who relapsed, and how he learned to sit with life as it is — without escaping.

As his sobriety grew, so did his life. From learning how to build a resume and work a “normal” job, to gaining experience in sales and eventually transitioning into a role as an overnight tech at a treatment center, Jacob began to see a future take shape. Now, he’s back in school pursuing a business degree, with the goal of one day owning his own detox and residential facility.

At the heart of Jacob’s story is a simple but powerful message: keep showing up. Even when it feels awkward, even when it feel