Ranchy Romance: Dead Flowers and Digital Calendars

In this heartfelt episode of 'Around the Chute,' Vince, Corbin, and Joe are joined by their wives, Amy, Abby, and Lucy, for a special Valentine's discussion. They share the challenges and joys of balancing ranch life with family, highlighting the crucial support and involvement of their spouses. The episode delves into personal anecdotes, from managing cattle and overcoming obstacles to appreciating each partner's contributions and deep emotional commitment to the family's happiness and prosperity.

Transcript

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Welcome to Round the Shoot. Ah. Oh my God. How are y'all doing today? I'm hyperventilating now, so I don't get nervous. I don't get nervous when it's the three of us recording, but the people that are in our presence, I, I'm nervous for them. Are y'all nervous? No. See, I just, hi Amy. Amy's with us. Put a microphone in front of her. I just, I Hi. Listen, the wives are with us. This is a wife episode, so they're gonna spill all the t Are y'all gonna spill all the T are. Abby. It's like, you want us here, but you don't. Lucy, come on Lucy. Speak up. Lucy's gonna be bashful. Whew. This is hard. They don't have a shortage of things to say when the camera's not rolling. Oh goodness, Amy. Yes. Happy anniversary. Thank you. Hey, happy anniversary. Quarter of a century. Is this like, is it paper? What is it? What'd you get? Paper, flowers. I have no idea. Dead flowers. Dead. Dead flowers is 25 years. He did bring me some dead flowers. 25 years is dead Flowers from the Dollar General. Hey, now you don't appreciate nothing. I know. I was excited. They didn't have any live ones. There's only two packages to choose from, and he chose the one that wasn't. As dead ass dead. You know what, I just, that's what you do. That's what you get for getting married in February when there's nothing alive. That's what I'm saying. There's no flowers alive. So I just looked it up and asked AI and it says silver or dead flowers from the Dollar General. Definitely de, definitely silver as well. Yeah. What did, uh, did the groundhog guy see his shadow or, yeah, we did five more weeks. Five more weeks. What was it gonna be? I don't know. I got no clue. Yeah. Winter, winter lives, I have no clue. You still have ice and snow? I mean, spring here? Yeah, it does here. No. So, um, I had a cow get stuck in a pond today. What? And I dug her out or I pulled her out and then I went back over there a minute ago and she was chasing after the truck ready to eat. So I guess the, for what, why was she stuck in the pond? In the mud or in the ice? So what happened around the pond is, is it's freezing around. It was freezing around'em every day. So it was really hard right there. It was like hard mud. Yeah. Because our ponds were low and I put the, and we, we busted the ice on the top side of the dam, you know what I'm saying? So that it was the deepest part of the pond. Well, it also happened to be the deepest part of the mud. And as that thaw, she got down, she thought it was gonna be hard. It was soft. It was mud. Is that what she thought? Did she tell you that? She thought she, she said, I thought it was gonna be hard, but it really wasn't. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, so I pulled her out and I went back over there this afternoon and I was like, uh, I don't know. We'll, we'll go see what I have to do to her now. And I was like, I can't find her. She's gone. She got up and, and she was chasing after the feed truck and she, she forgot that it all happened. Well, that's good. Abby, what were you saying before we really cut you off about it being a hundred degrees there today? Oh, I said that just means six more weeks of spring here if you guys have six more weeks of winter. Oh, well, today was wild. I, I'll bet you it was almost 70 today. That's crazy. Joe, tell us about your trip to the airport. Oh, it was wild. So what are you laughing about? What's so funny, I didn't ize li I was laughing. A i yeah, it was pretty awesome. Um, yeah, we sold some, we sold a bull this year to Hawaii. Uh, with the goal of that bull being exported, some plans have kind of changed with that bull and his promotion and maybe collecting a little bit of semen because there's been some interest and stuff like that. And that bull will stay here a little longer. But the folks who had done that, we um, did help them facilitate shipping some other cattle to them. So hauled those down to the LA area where those bulls get sedated and then flown. Shout out Latigo transport, Adrian there. Fabulous. Um, and, uh, she ships cattle all the time and I mean, it's just, it's amazing what we do, what humans do. Shipping, genetics all over the world now. It just kind of blows my mind to be honest with you. But those bulls. Got delayed. Actually, they were supposed to leave at 11 o'clock last night. They left at 11 o'clock this morning. So, um, they should be there. Those bulls, uh, were grazing in California yesterday morning and now are in Hawaii. So Sweet. They're already there. Yeah. Now why? Yeah. Yeah. Six hour flight that left at 11, so it would be five o'clock. Um, they've been there two hours. It's just six hours. Yeah, just six hours for us. Shorter even. Yes, even shorter for us. So when did he wake up? Did they keep him asleep? Asleep until they landed? Oh, oh, oh, you mean sedation? Yeah. I don't know the level. They might just take the edge off'em a little bit. I thought they were gonna put'em out all the way and she sent me some pictures and the bulls are just standing there kind of like. With the edge off of it. Oh. Oh, okay. So maybe they don't do a reversal or whatever. Right. But they do, they do sedate'em. I mean, when you think about, you know, I guess it'd be four or 5,000 pounds in bull rattling around in a cage with an airplane that could be kind of scary. Um, and basically she, so what, they took more than, they took two bulls or two bulls shipped. Yeah. And basically this lady has the ability to ship, I guess it'd be like two eight foot compartments of a gooseneck. And I can't remember, she told me the weight. But they ship all sorts of stuff. They ship horses, they ship alpacas, donkeys, anything you can imagine. Um, and it's, uh, it's, it's amazing how seamless it actually was. It wasn't, it wasn't that big of a deal. It's just a long ways for us. I told you guys, I was gonna figure out how far it was. Of course I did not do that. Do they really need donkeys in Hawaii? I would assume I just picked a random species vents. Wasn't that, do they go all over the place or just Hawaii? This company, well, this lady is Hawaiian, so I'm guessing she mostly just does Hawaii because that's what she's comfortable with. But I couldn't, I couldn't speak to that. I don't know. I don't know. What about health papers and stuff? How was that big problems? That was a lot sort of it, if, you know, it's like, it's like if you ever sell your first bull across any state lines, once you figure out how to do it and what you have to do, it's not that big of a deal. But when you don't know, you find out all the pitfalls of it. And um, the biggest one is you have to dip or pour on approved insecticide. Those cattle within seven days of when they leave. And so the, these bulls were supposed to leave a week ago, and these aren't my bulls, they're from another state. But they were in my care, got delayed a week. And so while they were sitting here, I had to get a new health permit, new veterinary inspection to dip them. The tuberculosis, pl brucellosis, all those testing regimens. Those were still good for 30 days. But have you, just like any other state, have you ever heard of those dipping vats? Oh, can you believe they used to do that with all cattle? I think. Did you see that article I sent Vince Uhuh. It's crazy what they used to do with these dipping vats. Is it those deals where they're running down a chute line? They just go in a pool and come back out? They just jump in the, in the, they would build them basically like in a creek. Really? She's talking over here. They would build them basically in a creek, and these cows would've to bail off in the, in the creek. They would make like concrete walls. And then they would have like a designated guy that would have to come bring the turpentine or whatever they put in there with them to kill. Uh, it was for ticks. Huh? And it, and the ticks were. The ticks were so deadly that they were causing problems in meat and everything. So they would, they, these cattle had to be, uh, go through these dipping vats every so often. So like if you had cows and you lived far away, they would make you, they would make you, uh, drive your cows to the closest dipping VA and dip'em. Oh, wow. So often when we were at Cal Poly, we had a chamber that they went into with sprays that would spray up under the cattle and their top and stuff that we used for a couple different applications. And then they did studies with it and whatever. And I don't know if they're still using that at Poly or not. No, they don't. They use that same chamber for methane. Why are we doing this? You didn't see that one coming? I did not see that one coming. I've seen old, old jump deals that vent that Corbin was talking about, but I've never used one. We've actually used the chamber that they go into and then spray and then they come out dripping wet. But I think a lot of that Corbin weren't those That was for Screwworm, right? Was it Screwworm? Yeah. Well, they had, they, they originally, yeah, ticks and screw worms. It was in like the, was it the twenties? Is that that's when they had, they had, um, gosh darn it, what were they called? Were they called worm dogs? They had dogs that could smell them and would alert on the cattle shut. I'm not kidding you. If they had worms, if they had those worms or whatever to treat'em or to get rid of the cattle or whatever they were using. But there's, there's like stories you could read about these. That bug could do that tick or bug could not, that bug could do that bug. Fucking not do that. That requires serious training. Vincess. Okay. So we never, as my typical fa epic fail, we should have introduced our wives instead of just saying they were here. So my lovely bride is Amy, uh, the producer and Joe's lovely bride is Abby. And Corbin's lovely bride that's no longer with us. She, because she already left is Lucy, he's getting something to put this kid in. So maybe, maybe the kid will quit making noise. So with Valentine's Day right around the corner, what about, what kind of thought maybe we could talk about some of the, I don't know, like the stresses of being married and farming ranches, you know, everybody being on the same page all the time. Because here in this household, we're always on the same page. Yeah. There's no, uh, we, we always know what the other one's thinking. We have a calendar. I type in when we're doing stuff. You don't want to see calendar activities. Tell'em why we have a calendar.'cause she never knew what we're doing. Because I made the calendar. Amy did make a calendar. Do you see that right there? Oh, I almost got Amy one of those for our anniversary, but I went with the dead flowers. I'm in protest of it though. Why? Why? Because I like using a, a piece of paper. Dry right calendar. Are you treading softly right now? No. I'm just not good at keeping track of things. Corbin, the calendar, it's funny to me that it's a bone of contention in this house because Joe wants get a little closer. Joe wants a big giant paper, one that only has his things on it. And I want the digital ones so that he always knows everything that's going on. And I uploaded, but it doesn't concern me that much. Like that's the thing. I mean, some of the stuff on there aren't really his business. It's like I don't meddle in it. Like, I mean, I support everyone fully and they need to do those things, but I, yeah, I can't be that like Groundhog Day, what do I need to know about Groundhog Day? I did not not choose that. Those are the jokes. Vince and Amy got married on. Ground it 100% on the paper calendar it 100% says Groundhog Day on it too. It's like the national, it's like programmed into the phones. We don't get a choice. I have a question. Does that thing link to your phone too? So the calendar on your phone is updated or the same? Yeah. Really. That's awesome. Oh yeah. It's all over it. It's, it's, it, it's, so, it's whatever. It's no escaping it. It's whatever calendar app you choose. So we use Google Calendar and so it syncs with that screen. Joe, don't act like you're all up in your calendar going, oh my God, I can't even figure out what I'm supposed to do today.'cause Abby has all this stuff on there. That is not what you do. That's not what I said. That is not what I said. I just don't understand. I mean, trap practice is useful because see, it's right here on my phone. Just takes up a lot of space. Yeah, but you don't miss it. You picked a widget. I did not pick the VI widget. Um, I'm not a willing participant. Um, uh, so you know what you should do, Abby just quit including him and stuff. Yeah. And then he'd be like, why didn't you tell me about that? Yeah. But every day he calls me and he'll be like, Hey, uh, do I have anything on Wednesday? Check the calendar. You have it on your screen. Lucy, do you have a calendar for Corbin? No, I'm not that busy. Abby does seem extremely busy. Well, yeah, she's got, she is, she's got twice as many kids as we got. Right. And they're, we three times the age. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're, they've got, we've got one that we're just trying to keep from making noises over here, and that's about all we can do with her. Um, no, Lucy's, I think one of Lucy's biggest struggles we have is scheduling, just trying to work around my schedule and know when I have stuff going on, when she has stuff going on. So it's interesting that the calendar comes up because it's definitely something that we battle. Y'all have a lot of stuff going on with Myla too, right? Yeah, generally. Um, she keeps us busy. Even if she doesn't have anything going on, she keeps us busy. She'll come up with something. Well then you could tell her. Is it on the calendar? Myla? I definitely need it on the digital calendar. We do. What'd she say? Lucy says, we do need the calendar. I bet the baby. Do you hear Millie over there? Oh, need Lucy to get as close to the microphone as Millie is Side room. Okay, there we go. Alright, now talk Lucy. So what, what do you guys do Vince to do? You, Amy, don't have a calendar, right? We're free spirits here. Yeah, see I would say like a calendar, the biggest struggle like. I have a calendar, I have one at the back door that I change out every month. I, we have one on the phone. So everybody, all the guys that work in the farm can be on the same page, but Vince will never know what's going on. Like, he'll be like, you didn't tell me that. I had no idea. Why didn't you tell me that? But, um, I try real hard to keep us. I'm more of a, I'm more of a organized, I'm more of a, you need to call and say, Hey, we have to do this tomorrow. Yeah. And I'll still forget, but at least you told me. Yeah, but I don't wanna be your mom. Whoa. Why you gotta bring his mom into it? Exactly. No, not your mom. That's what wanna be said. Vince's mom said, said, well, I don't want you to be Vince's mom either. He is a long ways away. You don't wanna be my mom. How tall are you? You're way taller than my mom. She can't make pasta either. What with that complexion? Can't make pasta. I'm pretty sure you complained about the amount of pasta I used to make. Yeah. Yeah. She used to make a lot of pasta and now y'all just, you get ptsd. SD that's it. Yeah. Yeah. Um, no, I would definitely say, I mean, I say that in jest. I, we have a lot of moving parts and the calendar is good for me. I do use it on my phone more than I ever thought I would. Um, but it's something that I'm a constant work in progress. But you have like, you do way more stuff than Corbin, than I do. Like you have farm bureau meetings and meetings here, meetings there. Me and Corbin don't do that. We talk to our cows, calm down. What's going on over there? Joe's fixing to have a come loose. Joe's yelling at Paxton now. Well, Randy is over here. Randy's over here like, Hey, let me see how much noise I can make. And you know what? We've got this aluminum dog bowl that I can pour a whole bunch of kibble into and we got 130 pound dog. Now mulling on some kibble with an aluminum freaking thing going. K cocaine. K Kang Sound like a recycling center. No need to yell at Randy. Randy, thanks. How do you get Randy?'cause Vince was trying to get organized for this podcast and he's like, Joe. Your oldest two kids are Bennett and Miles. The third one, I just can't remember. Randy, question mark And Corbin's like close. It's Paxton. Hey Randy, don't slam the door, please. See, and it stuck, you know, you really wanted to name him Randy the whole time? No, when he was young he was clearly a Paxton today. Clearly a Randy. Clearly, clearly I feel like Randy is so much more, it'd be more fun to get onto him if his name was Randy. Where did Lucy go? She went to tend to the big kid. She'll be back in a minute. We need her back there. She's, she's back. She's back. So, I don't know, I don't know how we kicked this off, but Amy actually, and Vince came up with this idea for our podcast is, is uh, in the spirit of Valentine's Day, did you already introduce this? Go ahead. I did a poor job of it. You sort of did, but just the challenges of farming. And Amy had said, well, sometimes the marriage feels like a third wheel to the farming or the farming's a third wheel to the marriage. And it's just how you all have coped with for 25 years, 20 years and 10 years Corbin. Yeah. Um, just making sure to keep respectful in your relationship, make sure to do the things that you do, but then also know that we're all working in as hard as we can to pull on the same rope for the family. And so, I don't know, Amy, you probably, well, obviously you, you have the most experience. I think maybe we start with you and just talk about what it's like, share with our listeners, and I think it's a good opportunity. One of my favorite quotes I heard about this is, is people resonate the most when they hear the good and the bad, but not necessarily the ugly. Um, just the good and the bad because our listeners are going through it too. Um. Especially a lot of the young ones and what they have on the horizon. So what do you think, Amy, does that kind of give you a good introduction? Yeah, for sure. I think, uh, for me personally, I had to let go in our earlier years of marriage, of what my expectation should be. I had always had in my head what my marriage would look like, and um, turns out it looks nothing like what I thought it would. And that's not to say that it's bad, it's way better. It's just not what I thought. And I, I didn't grow up in an a farming environment, so I never really truly understood it. So for Vince to always be gone, not be here, not, you know, we would have birthday parties, I would wear myself out getting everything ready for the kids. Vince would run in last minute. Stick his head. He's in all the pictures. I'm not in one picture, you know, looks like he's the greatest guy ever. And it was frustrating. And I guess when Nate was uh, two or 30, don't look me and Sophia was like six or seven. We ended up going to counseling and I think that's very important for, it's such a taboo thing. Like people think, oh, I'm not going to counseling, but we were not communicating and we were on two separate pages. We lived in Lawrenceburg, which was 20 minutes from the farm, and I was raising the kids and he was working at the farm. And when he would get home, I was exhausted and wanted to hand the kids off. He was exhausted and we just had zero communication. Once we went to counseling and started talking about things and getting our communication, communication was just key for us. And not to say that it's just perfect or great, but it made, it made a huge difference, you know? Is that when the calendar started? I've always had calendars. Always. No, it definitely helped, that's for sure. And I was opposed to it, but went, and I was glad I went because it helped tremendously. Did you always feel Amy, like you were a full part of the ranch, or did you feel like you were competing with the ranch? No, I was always competing with it. I mean, you know, Vince and I talk about it lot a lot now, and he apologizes for the way things were when the kids were young. Um, because he did put all his effort, all of everything he had was into the farm and we were just, what was left over. And that's just how it was. And when we decided to move to the farm and we're all here together, you know, so now I can see Vince at lunch, I can see him, he runs in and out all during the day or whatever. I actually get to see him. It made such a huge difference. And we started planning together and working on the farm together. And instead of him just making all the decisions and um, then there would be the financial burden part of it, and I would just blame him a hundred percent, you know, because he had made that decision solely. And if it didn't work out, sorry. If it didn't work out, I was just mad at him. And so now, you know, we kind of take that together, try to plan together and. I don't know. Just do you do, do you do the books for Shady Brook? I do all the bookwork, yes. And you pay the employees too and all that stuff? Yes, I do everything. So I mean, you have to work together then. Yeah. Because he has to get you all the things and you are a very important and valued part of the operation. Get a little closer. Would you, what would you add to that or what would you say since we're a little further back in the timeline than, than Amy and Vince would be and we're different.'cause we worked for a family. Yeah. That's, we've only owned the operation for what, 18 months. Right. So our challenges earlier on were more centered around, uh, ranching is a lifestyle and it's all consuming, but it was also only his job. And so it was really difficult to find the balance between. What's the job and what is the lifestyle part, if that makes sense. Mm-hmm. Um, and then for probably 10 years, we did not live on the ranch, or, I mean, we've lived kind of around it or close, but for the last 12 years we've pretty much lived on the ranch and that has made a big difference in involvement of our family. Um, and um, and then particularly the last two years since we've owned it, it's changed how we look at things. So we've kind of been in a constant state of change and adjustment. Um, we're truthfully, we're still learning to work together with the ownership part of it. As you know, I'm doing the books as well, but. Our, I think our operation, I don't, I don't know a whole lot about yours, but it's probably a little bit more simpler. We, we don't farm in addition to the cattle. Um, we don't have that many employees. Um, so it's probably a little bit more simple, which is good because I'm totally new to this, um, doing the bookkeeping part of things. Um, but yeah, the communication part is, is huge and just a lot of grace with the communication. Mm-hmm. So I think before we go to Lucy, maybe you could talk about how much time I pour into our customers and how much I give to our customers emotionally, and then how maybe you felt on the outside of that, and now that you have relationship with our customers too, how you can. Give, like how has that changed and what is that like being a wife that's competing for attention, maybe not even competing, but if there is so much emotional investment and pieces of that are given to other people. What's that like? Yeah, I, I know exactly what you're talking to talking about because this is probably the piece for us that we struggle with the most because it is a lifestyle and it, it is all consuming. There are no hard boundaries of when it's ever done. There's no measurables of when you have touched your customers enough or, um, it is just, there's no hard measurables. You can't say, oh, I, if I visit 10 customers a year, I'm guaranteed. You know this at the end, like that's not how it works. But then also I say customers, and that sounds really informal, but all of our customers are either family or friends. So they all come with deep and important relationships. And then the flip side of that is, so does our family. And so finding that balance is really hard. Um, that's, that's the constant struggle I would say for us, is trying to keep that balance of, where do you say, um, where do you say no so that you say yes to your family. Right. That's hard. That's real hard. And I think that that's, that's the one that's really funny. I, I picked up the phone from a friend today. And he goes, yeah, I just wanted to check on you. You've been quiet for a while. And if any of our listeners have have felt like I've been quiet or distant, we've just had a lot going on. I mean, just, we've been under a storm and I've been really good about not picking up my phone unless I need to. So if you need to talk to me, call me, send me a text, I'm there. But if it, the visiting part, I've had to dial back a little bit just'cause I don't have the bandwidth for it right now. It's, it is not that emotionally I can't handle it. It's that there isn't the time for it. And so we're at that of life. And Lucy, what kind of season of life are you guys in with? Two little girls, one going to dance and she's all over, you know, I think in first grade now. And then you've got one that, I mean, what's Millie like four or five months old? Um, maybe six. I mean, you know, what, what's life like between you guys and what are some of the really exciting things you get to share together with ranch life and then some of the challenges maybe? Um, well we definitely had our challenges, that's for sure. Uh, communication. We struggled with that for years. We still do sometimes. Um, but he's always made it a point to make us a part of everything. My dad, when I was growing up, he didn't really, I mean, he made it to all the important things, but he wasn't always there. He worked all the time. So Corbin, I guess I didn't really have expectations of him being there all the time because my dad wasn't. Um, but he is always there for us and he always includes us in everything. And maybe just riding to go feed the cows or. Going to pick up Myla together or something. We try to spend time together during that, but with little kids, it's hard to spend just time together because we don't really have anybody to just take our kids to or drop off, you know, for the day or, because when I work, somebody has to babysit them. So it's just hard. Yeah. It's almost like, uh, with Millie it's different too, and we kind of forget with Milah, we could throw her in the car and go do anything together. Maya's actually a helper now, but with Millie, we've kind of had to go back to where we're bouncing that to where like, Hey, uh, can you watch this kid for a little bit while I go take a shower? And stuff like that, that you just kind of, as your kid gets older, you kind of take that stuff for granted. But sometimes, sometimes I notice Lucy needs me to, needs me to be here and not out there. So like during the day I'll try to, it's nice that I'm, that I'm right here and I can run by and pop in and say hi, and just make sure you see another human. Um, because I know those days, whenever it's just me and Millie. And even whenever it's just me and Millie Miles, some of those days are really long because you're, you're just there with the kids and, and trying to keep them outta stuff. And then in my case, trying to get other stuff done. And sometimes that gets frustrating. But, um, for the most part we just, we just try to love every day together, just get to do things together. Um, and Lucy, have you found a spot where you give a little bit more to the rafter five m or are you still trying to find your, your place with the operation because you're also working off the farm and, or, or how do you feel about that? I just feel like, um, it's Corbin's job. I guess I'm a nurse, that's what I always tell'em. I'm not here to be a rancher, but I'll help out when I can. She does help with like the, the sale stuff as far as clerking the sale and doing things like that. Um, our mailing list, she'll type up all those sorts of things, but he, last time I helped him mark cows, he screamed at me, so I'm haven't been back. She hasn't been Corbin, she hasn't been helping you. I'm like, you really pissed me off today. So I'm done. And it's not like a one time deal either. Like I make her mad that one time and I have to, I have to pay my dues for a little while and then she'll come back. Eventually, she'll kind of work her way back in there. Um, I don't even know what, just lucky that I'm, so there's certain to work with, but there's certain tasks that are just like stressful that we do. And for those tasks I just need to be like, you know what? I just need to do this by myself because I'm just gonna get mad no matter what. So I might as well have no one be around while I'm doing it. But I don't think Joe gets mad that much at me. I get hard on myself because I feel like I'm not doing it to his expectations. I don't have that problem. I was gonna say I'm, that's not an issue. Yeah. Vince, the first time he had me driving the green cart. I was loading the semi and I dumped all the grain off to the other side and he dumped it over the top. He gets on the radio and just starts screaming and cussing me and I put that tractor in park and I got out of it and I walked straight to my car and I spun my tires right on out of that field. And it took me a while to come back. See, that's not helpful. Did you have any umbrellas, any ram rammed her, right? That both umbrellas we're all dry in my house. You know, whoever was standing next to that truck as it was boiling over onto their head, had they had an umbrella. Yeah, they could have shielded themselves. Oh my God, you were getting a check. Chuck, Chuck, Chuck is defending Your honor. Don't you be mad at him. The best thing ever was last season and harvest season, we had three mishaps. And they were all Vince's fault. And oh my goodness, I'm getting old. I'm not as quick as I want for Nate. Blake and I, we were just like all silently to the side, like whispering, like, oh, thank God that was him. Like, we're so glad that was him. I get so mad at myself because I know better, but it's all right. I don't know. I, yeah, I don't know. I've, it's, it's, it's, uh, it's an exercise in humility and, uh, because the only one that can control my frustration is probably me. Um, but yeah, it's, uh, I think I do a, I think I do a better job than how I was raised. Um, but I definitely have room for improvement. Definitely have room for, I, I try to, you know, like I, I try very hard to line out clear expectations. Um, I do, do that. Do, do and, uh, say it again. I always try to, not contrary to what our kids think and contrary to what Wyatt would say, I try to feed everybody. Um, I do. That's lies like actual food. I try to make sure they're fed a package of beef sticks. Doesn't count. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Oh, you mean like lunch at three o'clock in the afternoon? Beef sticks are just fine. Oh my goodness. It was raining here one day this winter. And, and Wyatt was like, wait a minute. I wonder if any labor people listened to this. But anyways, I pulled up and out of the pocket, I pulled this package of these fresh beef sticks and why it goes, does that mean we're not having lunch today? And I was like, no, it just means this's a snack for now until we have time for lunch. He's like, yeah, I think that means we're not having lunch today. Okay. So just so everybody's on the same page. At Shady Brook, we eat lunch. We're not missing lunch. Nor have I ever, maybe five times in my entire life missed lunch. I'm not missing lunch. Listen, have y'all heard the story about Vince when he was little going on a Oh, shut up fishing trip with his dad and his uncle and Lucy? No. No, but I heard about that on the Godfather too. Well, it was fishing with an uncle. Well, Vince actually made it back alive. I don't know why, but, um, his mom had packed a cooler with all, she always packed a cooler with every, everybody with their lunch and snacks and all the drinks. Well, Vince got bored. And so he sat in the back of the boat and ate all the food for the whole trip, all the drinks. And his dad was so pissed off at him. He wasn't very happy. That used to be my dad's favorite thing.'cause he gets so hot here. And you remember in those days we didn't have water bottles when we were kids, right? No. You had the co You unscrewed the lid, filled it up. Yeah, we had the nipple that popped open and then you drink on it and you could hear the ice cubes in it kinda like, look like, look like. And my dad's like digging a post hold drenched with sweat. And he picks up that and he is like, you mean to tell me you sat here all day and drank all the water and you weren't doing nothing? Yeah, I was. Oh, he was, he was drinking water. I was drinking water. It was hot. Uh, so I get mad at the situation more so than the people. Does that make sense? Absolutely. And then the people think that I'm mad at them and I have to apologize'cause I'm not really mad at them. I'm just mad at the situation. That's a hundred percent what I was just thinking, it's hard. We, we've had two, well, one real scenario recently where there was some paperwork that Joe thought was missing from a truck that I had cleaned out. Oh. Never clean out the truck. And it wasn't just any paperwork. It was, was it the Colorado? No. Was it the No, it was all the calving records. All of them. Oh. And, and I. So then I was like, surely Wyatt must have taken a picture of it. Wyatt, when's the last time you took a picture of the calving records? Yeah, so Wyatt didn't have a picture and I knew exactly what these papers looked like. I'd seen them before. I'd used them before, but. He knew that I had cleaned out that truck. And so he, um, didn't, did not accuse anyone of anything, did anything, did not accuse, but all of his actions, his body language and his words otherwise made it seem like he was just so mad at me. He wasted. So I was gathering Where, where were they? Where were they? Joe? Yeah. Joe, tell us where they were. Lemme move this a little closer. Tell us where they were, Joe, the people wanna know. Th they, do you remember? I, I do. I do. They were in the center console of, they were in the truck. The pickup? Yes. That they were supposed to be in. You didn't even look in the, but, but, but I did say a prayer to St. Anthony and that's when they tour turned up. Bam. I bet the armrest just popped up. And there they were. Abby, did you put them in there though? See, I left them in there. No, I didn't take them. So this, but this went on for several days. Yeah. This was, this was high panic. So you took you several days to, that's what I'm saying, because they were in the truck. No, it took him several days to actually go look at where they were supposed to be, to see if they were there. Where did you think that they were supposed to be in the visor? No, I thought they were supposed to be in the center console and you didn't look that's where they were. And that's where they were. Yeah, we looked but not probably as good. I probably looked at the same level of, you know what, that Randy looks for things. Do you know what you probably looked, so today Lucy sent me to Dollar Tree to get these lazy Susans. Oh, ooh. And if Lucy sends me to get something, it's generally like, okay, I'm staying in here till I find it because I'm not and you can't find shit ever. And I can't find it so and so potty mouth over here. So I looked, I looked all across the store. It used to be a family show. Yeah. I love it. You got a baby in my lap over here. Can you not curse in front of the baby? Ear muffs. Ear muffs. So I look around the store three or four times. Um, yeah, I never found the lazy suit. Did you ask the lady? I did ask the guy and he, he looked, he walked around with me from bit, he was like, yeah, I guess we don't have that. He's like, she's so trustworthy. She trusts me so much that, that I, she called the Dollar Tree and she's like, I've been trying to call a Dollar Tree, and they won't answer. Golly, you don't think I really did this? You know, we have decided, go ahead. We have decided that finding things is a degenerative disease on the Y chromosome. See, I told you I don't it. What the hell? I don't just make up words. She makes'em up too. Vince. No, those aren't made up words. Why Chromosome is a word. I understand it, but degenerative, I don't know how that applies. It gets worse with each generation. Now wait a minute away. I would've called somebody an idiot in the paper paperwork situation. Somebody would've been an idiot. No, I was really, I was really quiet about that, but. I, I really did have my feelings hurt for a long time. Yeah. Yeah. I was. You end up, Hey, have I ever hurt your feelings? Don't tell. I went down the road of, don't worry, we just won't put birth weights on the entire 2027 bull calf crop. It'll be fine. Don't y'all love it?'cause I'm always thinking Vince is under so much stress, like I don't wanna add anything to him. I don't wanna add anything else. So I just bottle it all up, bottle it up, bottle it up, bottle it up. Then finally, I don't think Lucy has that, about three Lucy, she a bottle too. She's fixing to cut you. So after about four, five months. He could just come in and do something that normally wouldn't bother me at all, and I will just blow him out and he is like, what's going on? And I can just fall apart. I mean, I didn't get blown out for all this stuff, but I did this little thing and I'm getting blown out. Listen, I'm sorry I locked the window down on the truck. I didn't mean to, it's not fair. It didn't even rain. It didn't even rain the hormones. It's not fair. Yeah. Yeah. So I asked chat GPT today to make, I can't say the word caricature. A caricature of me and what it knows about me, and it made me like podcasting on QuickBooks, holding a dog and my hormone drops. You got your drops? My hormone drops. I've asked Chad a whole lot about the hormone drops. Oh, so that's just based off of what you've asked it? Yes. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Like a, just to make it on what it knows about you. Oh, that's so funny. Oh, I can't imagine what mine is. Ooh, look at Abby. She's like, I wonder what it would make about me. Yeah. Because I searched some weird things.'cause I'm great and, and we will not be revealing the results on Lucy. Do you? Lucy was, uh, what were you trying to do you use that Lucy chat all the time? Oh yeah. It's my best friend. I thought I was your best friend that knows everything. So, has Corbin ever yelled at you? Oh yeah. Corbin yelled at everybody. Oh yeah. He throws the biggest bits. I mean, hey, behind the scenes, has he ever thrown a fit about me? Yeah. Or me? No. Liar. I wanna know. Throw Lucy. Not you. I don't want, I don't want, no, I've heard, I've heard Corbin throw a fit before, but it's my, Hey, here, you stupid. That's how Corbin throws a fit. His phone's in his mouth. Always. Lucy, has he ever thrown a fit about me? No. I don't think so. He normally throws, fits about the cows at me. Something I've done. Not you, only the cows. Lucy, you gave him two wonderful children. He could never be mad at you. Yeah. Look at this. Mm-hmm. This one's just hanging out. So Lucy, tell us, turn it off. Oh my gosh. Amy, is that Candy Crush telling you you gotta crush the candy? No, it's night. Oh, okay. So I wanna, our listeners want to know a little bit about Lucy, what'd you go to school for? What is, is you do, how you met Corbin? Quick, stuff like that. Oh, okay. Um, I went to school and I got, I'm a nurse. Um, and I met Corbin from my brother, um, at my dad and my family owned a hardware store in Colgate. And when they moved here, they went there to get furniture and we all went to the bar together. Um, I actually drove him and my brother and someone else to the bar because I couldn't drink them. Who's Cade? Cade Curry. Cade Curry. And anyways, and then I, Dr. Drove him home and they were all drunk and puking out the side of the door. First I wasn't puking. Yes, my brother was puking and I'm pretty sure you are too. No. Anyways, and then, I don't know, I just, here we are. Yeah. 12 years later. Do you have any specialties in nursing? Lucy, or like what kind of nursing do you do? Uh, so I work, um, in the ER and on med-surg. So, which do you like better? She likes old people. I like med-surg better. It's more patient care. You get to spend time with the patients, you get to know all about'em, all their life stories. So I enjoy that the most. I don't like the fast pace, not being able to have like my days planned and know what's gonna happen. So why, that's what's wrong in you. You don't know what you're gonna do. You say the, would you say the nurses that like that are maybe a little bit more like, and I'm speaking from an experience,'cause my sister is a nurse and her husband is a nurse, so they're both nurses and they have very different kind of personalities. Like the ER nurses almost are a little adrenaline junkie kind. Is that, is that Absolutely. Like they love the chaos, right? Yes. And not, and then you would love the relationships and treating the patient. Yes. You get to spend lots of time with them. I don't know. I feel like when I go to Walmart, I try to avoid everybody there because even if I don't know'em, they're gonna come to me and tell me their life story. It's like, I need to have it tapped on my forehead. Like tell me your life story. Like it's, it is like if their phone, if her phone rings past nine o'clock, I'm like, dang it, we're not going to bed on time tonight. Yeah. Everybody wants to tell me everything. You should be a little more rude to people, like you're rude to Corbin. I mean, I'm not very friendly really. I was just held in that mileah. She, tonight I just sat there and I try not to like. Give anybody any eye contact.'cause I don't wanna talk to'em. The goal here is to to not to be seen and not heard. Yes. Amy will talk 30 minutes to somebody and I'm I'll just walk away. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, when Amy and I get together on the phone, over an editing thing, turn around and be three hours later and we're still talking. And you haven't even mentioned the edit. It's not your fault. It's half your fault. So Sophia's senior year in high school, our basketball team was playing the Substack game at home. We won. And if you've ever been a part of a Substack game, you know, you know, if you're at home, there's a huge celebration afterwards they cut the net, this whole thing. So I'm in there taking pictures of Sophia up there cutting the net, and I look around. Vince is gone. I walk out in the parking lot, timeout in my defense. I said, let's go. Yeah, you said let's go. But I ignored him because I have been driving a child because she just ignored me. I've been, you've driving this child to every ball game since she was in kindergarten and we're in her senior year and they just won sub state. Like, I'm not leaving. Like, I'm want you wanna cut the neck? And he said, he said it was after all that. No, it wasn't. Yes, it was. It was after all that. And she was like, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. Oh my God. I, I walk out the parking lot and he's gone. So I called Nate and I'm like, where y'all at? And he's like, we're at Rick's barbecue. I'm like, y'all left me. Yeah. I'm, I'm sorry mom. I said, let's go multiple times. So here comes the deacon in our church and his wife walking out and they're like, what are you doing? And I'm like. Vince left me and they're, they're like appalled because at church, oh, Vince is like all the old ladies love him and they're hugging and kissing on him. They think he's the sweet man, you know, they like me'cause I'm sexy. And he drove off and left me in the parking lot. I had to get a ride with the church people. I said, let's go multiple times. It was, it was lunchtime basically. Vince just likes to eat all the time. No, it was like nine o'clock at night. Yeah. Vince ain't missing a meal, baby. I'm not missing a meal. I don't share food either. He probably remembers what he ordered at Rick's barbecue already. Well, there's only like six things. Do they have air condition in there? Oh yeah. Oh yeah, they do. So Amy, is your background any of this or did you just get baptized by fire into farming? Did he ask me? Yeah. So I think, did you ask Amy? Was that not, was that not allowed? I'm sorry. Yeah, Amy, I mean, okay. Do you have any background in farming or do you just kind of baptized by fire going, she has a background in saving animals. Gimme the, any kind, any kind of animal. Listen, let me just get this out here. I dated a guy for four years and he was a dairy farmer and I went with him to milk. Ha uh, milk, hay, milk cows. We felled hay and we broke up my, and I was like, never again, ever am I gonna date a farmer? Like this sucks. Why would anybody wanna do this? So here comes Vincenzo around and uh, he walks up to me. I was shooting pool in this little. Place we would hang out. He comes up and he is like, Hey, when are you and I gonna get married? And I was like, what a jackass. Smooth. Anyway, we started dating. He said, let's go. Yeah, yeah. We start dating and he's working at Jacob's Marine. A boat? A boat place. Because I had been fired from Shady Brook. Tony had fired him from the farm. Is that what he threw the rocks at him? No. That's a different time. That's a different time. So. We date for a year and a half. Like we're living the life. We're going to boat shows. He has a jet ski. I have a jet ski. We're living on the river. Like, yes, this is my life. Year and a half. He goes, I think I'm gonna go back to work at the farm. And I'm like, what farm? I didn't know the farm existed. What? And he's like, we have a farm. I'm gonna, I'm gonna go back and work there. And I was like, oh, hell no. So he goes back and I never saw him again. I mean, that's basically what, that's basically what happened. Never him until this episode. Yeah. I'm just seeing, seeing him. I'm not even sure if the kids are mine. Life is, life is one big, just correspondence through calendars, like Yes. We didn't have a calendar. That was the problem. I tried to message you on the calendar. You never responded. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So he tricked me. So. That's her version. Just let her have it. It's the truth. Yeah. No, I definitely prefer her version to anything else that could be cooked up. It says it's her version and then we've got the truth. So, so I think that's what's unique about our deal. It's not unique to ranching, but Abby does have an experience that she draws from too. I mean, what brought us together were cattle things at Cal Poly. And so she does provide a tremendous amount of help when needed. And, uh, between her and the kids, a lot of times we, Wyatt and I'll gather things up and her and the kids will vaccinate or process, well, we're hauling cattle somewhere, we're going to get another bunch up or something like that. So I, it's, it's another place. Um, yeah, I guess it was probably, it's fair to say that's the foundation of our relationship, right? Yeah. Yeah. Exciting. Well, our, our relationship, Lucy's never known me without cows, so at least we have that going for us. Why is Lucy hiding? I just feel weird sitting in front of the camera all the time. Well, there's only gonna be like 10,000 people watching you. Yeah. She said, oh no. Can anybody see me? I'm like, no, you still Isn't that what we got on the last one? We got 24 hours, 10,280 downloads, whatever. No way. Oh yeah. I've been having beer. Amy's very helpful. Who baby is that? Shut that baby up. Amy's very helpful. The last time we went and checked a, a heifer in labor, we'd been having a lot of trouble this year, and she says, oh, just. Get it out of her. She needs to, she needs you to get it out of her. I was like, well, she's not very dilated. You need to get it out. So I start jacking it out about halfway out she's going, oh my God, this is terrible. I was like, well, you're the one that told me it did do it. Well, it, it went down. It went down, and he was trying to use the jack to get it out, and I'm over there like this. Oh God. Lots of help. Lots of help. So that's the kind of help that Amy gives me from time to time. And then it makes me rethink what I knew I should have done. She's in this ear and I'm over here in this ear thinking this is what I need to do, and she's giving me all this unsolicited advice that's wrong sometimes. So it's, it's not helpful. How much of your day, how much of your day is alone, Vince? Like that particular, that particular thing you would've handled alone without Amy. Right. Yeah. Most of the time, I mean, maybe you, maybe you call Blake or maybe you call Nate if it was something you wouldn't handle. The reason I ask you that is this summer we had a, a couple goofball things ourselves that were, ended up being quite a mess by our standards from a management standpoint. Just very normal stuff. But it was like, why did this heifer have to get upside down and like, right. I don't remember what it's called. It's is it, it starts with a C and I never say the word. Right. It's like caster or something like that. I, I can't get the word right, but an animal gets up and it on its back and it can't get up. And then she started trying to like, on a slope. Yeah. Yes. And then they bloat and die. And so she's trying to calve like that where she'd rolled was out of the shade of a tree, and then it was like, it was like 105 and it just ended up, every bad thing that could have happened was worse. Yeah. And for 20 years I've been handling situations like that completely by myself. Completely. And um, I told Abby, I said, you know what? I, I called her and I was like, I need help. I need help. And it didn't hit me until she actually said something about it. She wasn't helping me with one of my heifers. She was helping to save one of our heifers. Yeah. And it wasn't until she actually said that, that it just kind of hit me. I appreciated having a person with the same level of buy-in and the same level of commitment that could understand how bad this situation was and share some of that load with me because, I mean, I don't wanna sound incredibly soft. I know I do sometimes on the podcast. I mean, we, we shoulder quite a bit and we got bridled shoulders. But boy, when it gets to the dog days of August, sometimes it's more than the guy could bear. Yeah. And, uh. It was nice to have that person with the same level of commitment that could share in that misery, I guess. Um, but I think that's, if you can get to that place, to some of our listeners, um, it was just a paradigm change for me that it wasn't my heifer that Abby was helping me with. It was our heifer. We were both working on to fix that situation. Right. Well, the other thing too is having that person to just talk to, because she may not know that I've had a crap day, or I may tell her what a crap day I had, but if I wanna just talk about it, she's there. And it doesn't matter what it is. I know she's on my side now. She might gimme crap about something, but at the end of the day, you gotta have. That person that's in your corner, you gotta have that person that's on the same page because if you're not, it makes for a really long, miserable life, just to be honest. Well, in that particular day, do you remember what you said? I do. Do you wanna say it on here? You think we're thinking the same thing? Yeah, it was what you said about the wolves.'cause we've been dealing with wolves with some northern cattle too, but it was also, the summer was rough. Yeah, the summer was rough in a lot of different ways. And I'm not like, I'm not a super emotional person, but that, that particular day we lost the heifer and I just, I was just standing there with tears streaming down my face, not. Because we lost the heifer because that happens, right? And we experience life like that. But there was a lot that had already happened leading up the, that the whole summer was very heavy. And I just felt the weight of everything that Joe had been carrying all summer, like, and I just said, this is why we can't have the wolves because it's hard enough already. Like it's hard enough as it is. And then we're gonna toss all these extra fun projects on top of that that make it, I, and I can't even begin to fathom with the people dealing with the wolves carried or, and continue to carry. And I guess you could say the wolves are a little bit of a, I think the words a euphemism where you could put anything in the place of wolves. Absolutely. And for us, it is the wolves where it's like, if we aren't working on this together. It's already hard. We can't be working against each other, or we can't be not pulling on the same rope, or you can't be thinking, well, this person's not working as hard for the family, or this one isn't. I mean, and I actually. I think we'll look back, I'm already there probably and say that this last summer was probably one of our favorite summers because as an operation we grew a lot closer together. It gave me an opportunity with some things to give a lot of responsibility to Wyatt that I never, ever, ever would've done, but outta necessity, I had to. And then he grew in those places too. I think he would say that he had the opportunity now to experience some things he hadn't in the past. Um, and he went and I didn't have the time or the energy to deal with taking customers to show'em bulls. And he went and showed customers bulls down at the feedlot and worked through, and he knows the cattle well enough and it, and those particular folks, I'd been there when they'd ship their calves or, or I'd been there at the sale barn and visited'em with them. And so I'd had those touches down, but Wyatt said, I'll, I'll take care of it. I'll go down there. And I think operationally. It let us realize we had a lot of good people resources that were probably underutilized. Um, and I'm 42 now. I'm not 22 anymore. I'm gonna have to start using a lot of those other resources, or this is unsustainable from a stress standpoint for sure. Did you ever get, did they ever trap that cat, that big cat that was giving you problems? Um, maybe, maybe. Have you seen it for while? So some people, some people stayed out watching their goats and stuff, and, uh, a kid tried to wake his dad and it was, it was close enough that, um, he ended up removing it with a handgun. Like, this predator thing in California is gonna really reshape how we ranch in the West. I, I really believe the politics and real solutions for people don't match, but you know. I think, um, as long as we think about this, I'm trying to tie this back to this podcast of the Wife episode. We're gonna have to think about ranching and resources differently. I really believe that. I mean, there's more competition for your, for your dollar. There's more competition for your time, and we need to make sure that we're checking all the boxes because there's gonna be a lot more hard coming our way in the ranching community. I firmly believe that, um, no matter what we do politically at the federal level or even the state level, it's, it's gonna get harder before it gets easier. So you damn sure better be investing in if, if you say you're doing this for the next generation, and I've experienced some of this lately that you guys have been shared the information. But if we're saying it's for the next generation, if we're saying because it's with family, we've gotta make sure that our words, our actions are, are that people feel like they're a part of our operation, that they're doing good work too. Is that, is that the key? Whenever I'd say even, even Vince's kids are older. Your kids are in the middle. My kids are younger. I think, I think it's important to make them all feel important. It's important to make Abby feel important. It's important to make Amy feel important. It's important to make Lucy feel important.'cause they are, those kids are important. They're why you're doing it. And so, uh, I think it's important to not lose sight of why we're doing this. Um, there's a lot different lifestyles we could have that would be a lot easier to raise a family, but, and if there's no path to transition, what's this cycle? 20 years? Yeah. Get, get out now. Take the money, reinvest it in something else. If there's no path for your kids to have a space and you're saying that it's for them, or if they don't want it, my recommendation is plan your exit strategy while they're worth something. Um, because it takes way too dog on much time. And it takes way too much energy off of a family. Uh, is do you disagree with that or agree or how do you feel about that? I don't know. I, I have a lot of mixed feelings about that. I, I agree to a certain degree, but I also see the layers of hard that keep stacking on and then people that get out because of the hard, and I, I don't wanna be a part of the end, if that makes sense. Well, it doesn't expand upon that. I don't wanna be a part of the end of agriculture in California, or, um, I believe this is the best way to live. Like, I believe it's the best way to raise our family. And I think our kids believe that too. But at what cost? Like it's, it's a constant question. And I guess if you are making enough money to do all the things and you've been blessed to continue, maybe you just keep walking. That's, that's what we've said. Well, and maybe we need to ask, what are all the things, like, do we need to do all the things? Is it like, is it enough to be together? Is it enough to live this lifestyle? Well, that's what I was gonna say. Wow. At the end of the day, if you're, you're just out there just doing it and struggling and you don't have somebody to come home and share it all with, what's the point? I mean, seriously, um, if she's not on the same page as me and you know, we're in it together, then. It makes things way, way worse. If we're not on the same page. If we are on the same page, we do have the same goal, then it does make things a lot easier. And you know, you gotta have that person that's with you and on the, you know what I mean? Lucy, where did you go? It's also important it that you can expand. You could take that even beyond ranching or farming, you know, even Yeah. It's, it's in everything, not just ranching. Even with Lucy, even with Lucy just being a nurse and me being the husband of a nurse, I think it's important for her to have the support of her husband, right. And everything she's doing, and to be her sounding board and for her to be able to come tell me all the things that she deals with on a daily basis. And to have that person that, that you can confide in. Right. Uh, I think that's more as we've gotten older, um, I think we've used each other more in that way, just to be that person that we can talk to. Right? Just be that person. We can tell all our problems, um, that person that'll help you through your problems. So, Amy, you stayed home and raise the kids? I did. I taught school until Sophia was born. And did you feel like that would always be your plan? No. That you would always be a stay at home mother? No. No. I was gonna go back, uh, after Sophia was born, I took a leave for six months, then I extended it for the whole school year and I was gonna go back, but I just couldn't, I could not leave her. I, I couldn't stand the fault of me not being the person to raise her And. Vince was like, if you can get health insurance, you can stay home. Well, I got us some health insurance now. It was expensive health insurance, but we made it work and I mean, I got to stay home and raise both the kids until Nate was old enough to pack his diaper bag and get in the truck with Vince and go to the farm and then he was gone. And Corbin, you end up doing a lot of that now, correct? Yeah. Uh, there's a lot of days where mileage would just assume, go, go do ranch work and go do stuff with me. And then there's times where she doesn't want to. Um, I know when Lucy's at work, uh, me and Mya and Millie will jump in the truck and we'll go feed and do everything we have to do during the day. Um, it takes longer, but it's so rewarding to get to have your baby with you. Mm-hmm. Um, I think it's, if, if, if a person could do it. Then it's, it's very rewarding. But I'm the type of person too, ever since I was little, I didn't wanna be a rancher. I didn't wanna be a astronaut. I wanted to be a dad. So to have the opportunity to get to have my kids and get to raise them in this lifestyle, it makes everything worth it. It makes the money struggles worth it. It makes the stress worth it. But to, to get, to have my little 6-year-old girl come up to me and say, dad, I wanna, I wanna take care of these pastures whenever I get big like you, I wanna do exactly what you're doing. That makes it all worth it. And that's why we do it. So, um, hopefully this little one over here that's really wiggly, this, this six month old baby that's sitting in Lucy's lap. That's keeping Lucy from talking because she's so wiggly. I'm this kid. Hopefully she wants to ranch like Myla does. I'm telling you that. But I do give a shout out to all the stay at home moms because of that is not for me. It's ha harder than going to work every day. So I think that it's great that people can do that. I just could not do it. Yeah, she uses work as her release. Yeah. So how do you, how do you guys, how do you guys handle like Corbin? Do you cook dinner and have that ready for when she comes home or, or in the summertime? In the wintertime it's like, oh, we're just gonna straight by for a couple days for the two or three days. Lucy works, we're gonna eat what we can. She cooks whenever she's home, she'll cook a meal. We'll have leftovers. Um, sometimes we go to Sonic, sorry. And McDonald's. McDonald's, we call those F for yourself nights. We call'em fend for yourself nights. And the reason, the reason I even bring up those questions to you guys is like. I know that I'm guilty, extremely guilty and a a, a pinch point in our family and our operation is because Abby stays home with the kids. Um, and she homeschools them and is involved in a pile of things around them. I'm like, emergency 9 1 1, I need you here right now. And I move her off of whatever she's doing all the time. And I think that's a big hole that I have, and I'm trying to be, I'm trying to be better about it, but I probably am not still doing a good job about that. But I think making sure that that person, whether it's Corbin, cooking supper, or you know, Lucy putting in a shift and then coming and cooking supper. I mean, just knowing that maybe seeing that other person, I think is really, really valuable. And it's taken me a long time in this marriage to see that, that if anybody's frustrated, it's because they don't feel like their efforts are seen, if that makes sense. Abby, how do you deal with this every day, like day to day? I mean, do you ever get time for yourself ever? Uh, so our, actually, now that the kids are a little bit older, um, this is the first year that I'm not involved in, they go to school two days a week with, we have a co-op where they go. Um, this last Tuesday was the first Tuesday ever. Now our kids are 13, 15, 17, and 19. But all four kids went to school for the whole day on Tuesday. And I had nothing to do with it. Like, I didn't have to go, I didn't have to teach, I didn't have to do anything. So th there are times that are opening up a little bit. Um. But it's also, I never know where I might be needed or not be needed. So that is, that's the hard part for me, is feeling like I, I feel like I sort of need to be available to, to jump in if I'm needed. But then also I like to plan my days out. So if I don't have a plan and then I'm not needed, then I'm sort of like, oh, I maybe wasn't very efficient with my day, but, um, I think, you know, Joe was touching on him pulling me away. I love to serve my family in whatever way I can, whether that's, you know, at home with the kids or we're out doing cow work, whatever it is. I think the part where I struggle is when if we're all out doing cow work and we come in. At the evening and they're like, Hey mom, what's for dinner? I'm like, you guys, I was out with you working cows all day. Like, did you forget to see me there?'cause so when was I supposed to cook? Yeah. That's where I'm like, I need you guys to, you know, see the situation a little bit better and understand, uh, I mean, I can make something. It's gonna be a little bit, or, or we can all just figure something out. So that's where the dance comes and it's a little bit hard juggling, Hey y'all come with me, we'll get a cake pop at song at Starbucks. That's just the, yeah. Yeah. And I think it brought a, all this has brought a good appreciation for a lot of women in my life, Lucy, who did the same. So my cousin Matt, I've talked about quite fondly in the past. He's actually my dad's cousin and runs a substantial amount of cattle. And I went to work for him in high school and his mother was. Gosh, back then she'd have been sixties, seventies and would ride horseback with us, with breakfast for us, had lunch ready for us, and magically would have like, I'd be un saddling her horse or Matt would in the evening and, um, in the mountains particularly. And she's cooking and I always appreciated that 100% and my mother too, but I appreciate it now getting to more intimately. See, um, Abby have to do those same things. Um, and there's a lot of good, you know, I don't even want to diminish by saying, it's not a diminishing term to say ranch wives, but being a ranch wife, whether you also have a full-time job outside like Lucy Wood or you're staying at home like Abby and Amy did, um, that's a big role. That is the glue that kind of keeps the whole thing. Between the fog line and the yellow line? In my opinion, I would agree to say that staying at home is way harder, I think, than having a job. I guess it depends on what your job is, but I would much rather go to work and work a hot day by myself or whatever than to have to stay home and do something that I'm not quite as good at or, you know, just not, I don't know if it even being comfortable doing, but like I couldn't have done it. Not at all. But you know, this isn't a couple's therapy podcast, but it's becoming one. It's no, but I think it gets to a big topic in our household that's discernment and really discerning what your talents are and what you want to give to a family. And spending super intentional time saying there we have this collective group of talents and resources. And Corbin just said, I'll only ever wanted to be a dad my whole life. That's what I wanted to do. And he sounds super capable. And when I've talked to him on the phone, he is always got the girls with him. I mean, that's what he could give, and Lucy could give to their family, her love for nursing in her career. And Abby always wanted to be a mom and I, I mean, from the time I was old enough to have cap guns and spurs and all that stuff, I just wanted to be a cowboy. And I get to live that dream and I get to have that vocation and get to be a dad through that. And I would encourage any young couples to really. Think through what your talents are, what you can give to your marriage and your family, and then try to make sure that the other person feels seen and valued and supported. Um, but you've spent time discerning what you're good at and what you can give. And then that's how you find your, your, your happiness is through doing a good job in your vocation. I would agree with that, Joe. I would agree with that. Joe, Amy, I wanna know, so I wanna shift gears though, and I want to know something that Vince is incredibly modest about and screw offery about, but listeners might not know, but you think's really special about Vince. Oh my goodness. I spent a lot of time on my hair. Gosh, you put me on the spot now, Joe. Yeah, Amy. Be nice, something special about you. Vince would say something special about me as I'm a good speller. She is a very good speller. She used to be. Used to be, yeah. It's, it's going away. Um, I think Pete would be surprised to know what a big heart he really does have. And, you know, he, that fat joke no is, is a COVID vaccine joke, heart. I don't know. He, he really does care about people. He cares about the animals. And there's just a rule around here that if there's something bad going on on the farm, I mean, I hate to not be that wife that can listen to everything, but if it involves an animal and he's got to go put an animal down, I know it tears him up, but he knows he cannot talk to me about it. You know, I hate that. That's why I have you guys, but I can't deal with it. And. But it kills him. And you know, he's not a hunter. Like he, he has no desire just to go out and kill things or anything like that. And, um, which I don't think that was gonna be an option if he and I were gonna be married.'cause if he, if he was gonna hunt, it was, it wasn't gonna happen. But, um, I, I would say his heart, like his heart's very massive and he truly cares. He cares about his friendships and us and his children, and I'm, I'm extremely grateful for that. What about you, Lucy? If, if somebody were to ask, if a listener were to, if you wanted to share with them something that maybe people don't know about Corbin that's maybe underestimated or he's super humble about, what would you think that'd be? Um, I would say his effort to show up to everything. Always. That's awesome. Way to make me look bad. Corbin. Yeah. Corbin, I'm really impressed with you. I felt, I felt like, yeah, he is Mr. Mom, pretty much. I felt like Lucy was gonna like turn loose all the dirt on you, but all she's just basically said good things about you. Hey, I never lie. I told you all, all I wanna do is hang out with my kids and my family and that's all I ever do. That's great. I wish. What about Joe? I wish I had more. Did more fun stuff. What about Joe Abby? Read the script. Read what I wrote. I wrote it. I wrote it down. I'm just kidding. No, I think I, you know, I think everyone knows that Joe loves people and cares deeply for them because he picks up his phone for everybody and will listen. Invest in everybody. Um, I think early on in our relationship, I think people thought that he was kind of controlling of me. I don't know who said that. I think so. Yeah. I felt like you had said that. People thought that, but um, and you're not overly like affectionate in public. You're not affectionate really at all in public. That's me. Come on, Joe. Yeah, but get private. Lucy's even less affectionate. No, I, I truly, truly, truly mean this Joe loves me so, so well and, um, would do I feel like he would do anything for me. And I think that that is. That is the biggest gift that he has given our family because our kids see that, and I'm so grateful for that example. You know, the, the biggest gift I ever got, Amy, was the grief, which I want all you listeners to know that after I've been berated about this grease trap, Abby has won the whole time, but it wasn't her Christmas. You know, it don't matter. No, I It's the gift he's ever golfed, ever gotten her. But it's also the smallest, except Vince has probably cost like. 3 99. And this thing's from like Pottery Barn? No, it's from Walmart. No it's not. They got'em at Walmart. That's Pioneer woman. She's Walmart. She's from Oklahoma. I got mine from China. It's Walmart. Abby, do you use yours though? Oh, mine's full. Look at that. That's majak grease right there. So you do heat that up and go pour it down the drain. You know what we do? We get a spoon. We get a spoon and I dump it in the trash. No, this stuff's like gold. It's delicious. I have these, these, uh, potatoes that are french fries and I just scoop this on'em and cook the french fries, like, like on a sheet pan in the oven. Have you ever had an apple pie made with like real lard Corbin real fat isn. Yeah, it's like you, you, you'd use butter or oil or, and I'm pretty sure Abby just said she dips her french fries in that. No, I cook a minute. Oh, it's so good. Yeah. Are we at the end, gentlemen and ladies? I think we're at the end. Bug's struggling. Amy's gonna have to edit this whole thing. Bug's struggling here. She's been laying behind us the whole time going just every once in a while she'll randomly go. Yeah. Same with Millie, just screaming every five minutes. Same with Randy. Randy. Okay, Randy. No, we just see Randy walk by every couple minutes trying to get on camera. So I guess I wanna, I wanna wrap up by just saying if. There, there are some female personalities who are listeners to around the shoot too that may have a significant other to all the significant others who chip in on ranch work or cow operations or whatever, especially on this Valentine's Day. We just thank all of you because we know behind the scenes you may not be the front person of, of a particular ranch. Um, but everyone that I think of that I hold in high regard, there's, there's a spouse that's there taking care of stuff that's larger than life as well, but maybe you just don't see'em. So thank you to all those people, men and women that help these ranches keep moving. Amen. Corbin? Yes, Lucy. Let Lucy tell Lucy what to say. Come on, Lucy. Yeah. Tell her what to say. Tell her to do it. Take it away. Tor. No, Tim. Come on Lucy. You got it. Take it away. There you go. We will see you next time around the shoot.