Toxic Self-Talk and How to Break Free--Free Your Magic Challenge #5

You’ve made it to the final day of the Free Your Magic Challenge—and we’re ending with the most important lesson of all: being gentle with yourself. High achievers often carry an inner critic that says “get your act together” or “work harder.” But what if you’ve always been doing your best? What if those harsh voices are just echoes of family and cultural conditioning that no longer serve you?

In this episode, Christine DeHerrera shows you three simple but powerful ways to soften the pressure: shifting your internal language, focusing on what you did accomplish instead of what you didn’t, and treating mistakes as data instead of self-indictments. These gentle shifts will help you stop overworking, release guilt, and finally allow space for the creativity and magic you’ve been craving.

If you’re ready to trade toxic self-criticism for clarity, ease, and real results, this episode will remind you of your worth—and show you how to move forward from a place of compassion. Don’t just finish the challenge—step into your next chapter fully remembering: you are the magic.

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Thank you for listening and just remember, you are the magic!

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Final Day Challenge

Transcript

Christine DeHerrera: 0:00

If you've ever said, get your crap together to yourself, this episode is for you. Welcome to the final day of the Free your Magic Challenge. I'm so proud of you for showing up for yourself this past week. You didn't just consume content, you challenged beliefs that may have been running on autopilot for years. We've covered a lot and today we're closing with something tender, something that lives inside many high achievers that harsh inner voice, the never satisfied critic. Today we're going to talk about learning to be gentle with yourself. Let's start with a recap of where we've been.

Christine DeHerrera: 0:33

This challenge was about helping you break free from subtle forms of conditioning that are highly rewarded but that are actually keeping you stuck and keeping you from reaching your next level, a level that the world desperately needs right now. On the first day, we explored toxic positivity the ability to focus on the good in something so hard that you fail to take action on something that really needs to change. On day two, we took on toxic excellence. Remember, excellence kills genius, and genius is what you're really on this planet to do. Plus, it's so much more fun to work in your genius. On day three, we tackled toxic undercharging Improperly valuing your work drains you on every level. And on day four, we faced toxic overfunctioning, that exhausting habit of doing too much too often for too many people, when really they should be doing it for themselves. Each of these patterns is rooted in old conditioning, family dynamics, cultural messaging, even trauma. And that brings us here to day five, where we're gonna look at toxic behavior toward ourself, because the most insidious trap of all is what happens when we internalize all of this conditioning and turn it on ourselves.

Christine DeHerrera: 1:42

Think about it you didn't choose most of your patterns, you absorbed them. You survived with it. You didn't choose most of your patterns, you absorbed them, you survived with them. You were praised for them and you achieved so much with them. But have you acknowledged the cost of that? Maybe not. Do you treat yourself like the brilliant, brave person you are, or are you fixated on how you could be better, how you could be further along? Why are you falling short?

Christine DeHerrera: 2:03

Well, now is the time to start a new way of being with yourself, with gentleness and appreciation. You're surviving in a world that's constantly tearing you down and it's time to offer kindness to yourself the way you do with people you love. So here are three ways to start to be gentle with yourself. Number one watch your internal language. What's the tone of your inner monologue? Do you say things to yourself like get your butt moving or pull together? Already that voice might have helped you push through all the stuff in the past, but now it's exhausting. So start to notice how you speak to yourself, especially when you're tired, behind or overwhelmed. Ask yourself would I speak to my best friend this way? And if not, it's time to shift that voice into something wiser, kinder and more sustainable. A fun way to do this is give yourself an internal nickname like Boo, bear, pookie or Bebe, and start telling Pookie how much you love them and how brave and wonderful they are.

Christine DeHerrera: 3:02

A second way to learn to be gentler on yourself is to focus on what did get done versus what was on your list. High achievers well, we love lists and we also love beating ourselves up when we don't check every single item off of them. This pattern isn't your fault. It's the list's fault. A powerful reframe is to focus on what you did get done. The list's fault. A powerful reframe is to focus on what you did get done. Start this change by having no more than three yes, I said three must-do business tasks and three personal tasks on your list each day. Seriously, that's it. These tasks should be needle movers, not any kind of busy work, not should-get-done things that make a difference and move your business and your life forward, and when they're done, celebrate. And then you can take yourself on a celebratory creative adventure, like a walk, a trip to the museum or maybe just lying on the floor reading song lyrics to the new album you love, like you used to do when you were a kid. This shift alone can dissolve so much stress, guilt and just nastiness and will help restore your sense of peace. One of the things I work with almost all of my clients on is celebrating themselves every day. This shifts the momentum so fast. The mental reframe comes around, the feeling of that day-to-day stuff is so small that it isn't worth celebrating. But it's the small stuff that makes up our life and is most worthy of celebrating. Plus, if you're alive on planet Earth right now, accomplishing even the tiniest of tasks deserves massive celebration, and I'd love to hear what you're celebrating Big, small and everything in between. Text me at the top of the show notes or DM me on Instagram with your good work. It's fuel and the third and final way to start to be gentle on yourself is to notice how you treat yourself when you do mess up. After 23 years and loads of mistakes, I've learned this the way you treat yourself after an error matters way, way more than the error itself. When something goes wrong, do you spiral into shame and beat yourself up, or do you give yourself grace and space to learn? Mistakes are feedback, not failure. I actually learned this from the tech bros. I used to be terrified to make a mistake, which, of course, didn't mean that I didn't make them we're all human, after all but I was so head down in the first years of my business that when any mistake occurred, I was absolutely shattered. It wasn't until I started listening to podcasts. Of course it would be podcasts. That's when I realized that not only did everyone make mistakes, but they even celebrated them. Silicon Valley not only didn't beat up the tech bros for messing up like colossal business ending mistakes, they'd fund their next startup with tens or hundreds of millions of dollars. This is when I realized I needed to lighten up. Of course, we take responsibility for our errors, but we don't need to destroy ourselves over them. Self-compassion isn't weakness, it's your greatest tool for resilience. So pull out that journal again and take some notes around this. Think of one mistake you've made that still traps your hide and write yourself a love note about how brave and wonderful you were and what you learned throughout the process. And then you can tear it up and throw it in the trash, flush it into the toilet or light it on fire Safely, of course, my daughter's a firefighter. We don't need any more fires. Well, I can't believe we're at the end. You've completed the free your magic challenge, but the real magic is just beginning. This challenge was never about fixing you. It was about freeing you from outdated patterns, impossible standards and the pressure to do it all. Now the question is what's next? If this challenge stirred something in you, if you're ready to stop over-functioning, start simplifying and build a business and life that feels like you, I'd love to talk. Head to the link in the show notes to book a free call with me. We'll explore where you are, where you want to go and how to build your next chapter with clarity, confidence and so much more ease. And this challenge was just the beginning. Season two of the podcast kicks off next week. Until then, remember you are the magic.