Fashioning Paddles and Finding Joy

Join co-hosts Carly and Karla, two besties born a week apart and bonded by their opposite-but-complementary vibes, as they dive into the chaos, comedy, and connections of millennial life.

In this episode, we talk about our highs and lows from the week, finding joy in times of hopelessness, and discover that English is the official language of the US thanks to  ya'lls president.

Join us for the fun!

 Expect plenty of laughs, hot takes, and moments of reflection as we explore life’s questions, from the deep to the downright ridiculous.

💬 Got thoughts or questions? Drop them in the comments—we’d love to hear from you!
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Let’s make it to Wednesday together!

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Make It to Wednesday, the podcast that gets you through the week with laughs, real talk, and all the Gemini energy you didn't know you needed. We are your hosts, Carly and Carla, two best friends born a week apart, but somehow total opposites. Here we dive into life's big questions, small wins, and messy moments. Think dating, marriage, family, pop culture, and everything in between. Whether you're thriving or just surviving, we're here to remind you you're not alone. So grab your coffee, your wine, or whatever gets you through, and let's make it to Wednesday together. Welcome back to Make It to Wednesday, a hump day podcast. We are your show hosts. I'm Carla. And I'm Carly, and this is episode 58. 58. We've made it 58 episodes. Brought fun facts for like half of them from the year. Yeah, yeah. When did we start? Do you remember that? Uh around the time I said I don't understand history.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Yeah. It felt like around episode 30.

SPEAKER_00 0:55

I think it was somewhere or maybe 40.

SPEAKER_01 0:58

We've been No, because we did World War II.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

You're right. It was in the 30s.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

We'll have to go back. If you've been following along and you're learning history with us.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

Have you learned anything?

SPEAKER_00 1:08

Is anything sticking?

SPEAKER_01 1:10

Also. Never mind. Did we get feedback on one of the facts? No, not at all. I was just thinking, you know, like we don't keep like half the things we learned in high school you like never use again. Yes. When you're just learning stoichiometry.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

What is that? I never learned that. What is that? You did in chemistry.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

You did, I promise you did.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

I learned a lot of things in chemistry and science and all that, but not.

SPEAKER_01 1:29

Um like moles. Like learning about moles calculating mol like moles and things like that. Really? Nothing? Nothing. Say more. I don't know how to m what else to say. Calculating moles? Like how yeah, like not like moles on your body, but like it's like a never like moles in the ground? No. No. It's like a unit of measurement. I don't know how to explain it. Oh no, we didn't do that. You did. You dissected cats. Yeah. Also, we didn't do that. No. We like we did frogs like on the computer. And we did owl pellets in like probably eighth grade. There's kids doing pigs now. What the hell? That's crazy to me.

SPEAKER_00 2:07

Yeah, there's a lot of.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

Stellar are doing too much up here. That's really insane.

SPEAKER_00 2:11

I don't know if it's like grant funding or if it's like depending on where your school gets their funding based on the city. Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_01 2:16

My work funded that the pig, this dissection. So yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:19

Because that's expensive.

SPEAKER_01 2:21

Okay. We didn't have to do that. Like.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

I'll never forget the smell. If you have ever dissects or any animal, right? In the formaldehyde smell. Oh yeah, here it's bad. Oh my god. And the science lab was like it was in the middle of everything.

SPEAKER_01 2:37

So people who like go to med school, they smell that smell every day. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

I guess. Yeah. Or in a certain area because like in the lab. If they're working with cadavers, they would definitely have to. Interesting. You think you could? I feel like I could. I don't know why. The formaldehyde smell for me. It's really a triggering. I have no idea what it smells like.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

So like I'm really like going in blind here. Oh you think I could do it? Knowing mean how sensitive I am to like certain smells.

SPEAKER_00 3:06

I think you could do it. I don't think you would I don't think there would be a high enough payoff to do it. Okay. Like the benefit would have to be there, and there's not enough benefit. There's just not at this point.

SPEAKER_01 3:17

Being a doctor, helping people is not enough. No.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

No. Maybe for like 20-year-old us, like if we were to go back. Yeah. But now to start restart a career, like that's not one that we're gonna.

SPEAKER_01 3:31

No. No. No. That's not a thing. Yeah. No. I meant 20-year-old me.

SPEAKER_00 3:37

20-year-old you could have done it, but I didn't know you at 20-year-old you either. So yeah. Yeah. Okay. There's so many questions. But yeah, um, dissecting cats. Yes. And how did we get there? Stoichiometry.

SPEAKER_01 3:48

Stoichiometry. I actually don't know. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 3:51

That's so cool. Is she excited to be doing that? No, she hates it. She could not figure it out. Yeah. Also, one more thing.

SPEAKER_01 3:57

Do you have the cla quadratic formula? Yes. Can you say it right now? Don't look it up. Do not look it up. No, I couldn't. Okay. Could you? Yeah. It's like the one I remember. What is it? It's X equals the opposite of B plus or minus the. No, actually, I'm so embarrassed. Never mind. Never mind. Rewind. Yeah. Carla. It's something like you know I'm talking about though? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Kendra, she like she called me a nerd because I remembered it.

SPEAKER_00 4:23

Kendra.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

Rude.

SPEAKER_00 4:25

There are things you remember.

SPEAKER_01 4:27

Actually, I don't know that that's true.

SPEAKER_00 4:29

What about the Pythagorean theorem? The Pythagorean theorem? I forgot that that was a term until just this moment. Huh. Let me stop being a nerd, like a loser. I think I think it's more or less like I don't remember a lot from certain years in high school. Sure. That's fair. So I just couldn't tell you. That's fair.

SPEAKER_01 4:47

Yeah. Those are the areas I really thrived in. So like I really did well in math and science.

SPEAKER_00 4:51

So Yeah. I did well, but I didn't like thrive in them.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

Sure. That's fair.

SPEAKER_00 4:58

Like I was the student who had to like try really hard to be good at things. Okay. Yeah. Valid. That's totally valid. Okay. Give us a fact. 1958. Can't just give you one fact. Yeah, give us a few. The US launched its first satellite, Explorer One, and founded NASA. Oh, okay. The hula hoop craze began. Oh. And Elvis Presley was drafted into the army. Wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_01 5:22

Let me think. Was last week the week that he did his number one song? Heartbreak Hotel? I think two weeks ago. 56.

SPEAKER_00 5:30

Okay. Okay. 56 or big.

SPEAKER_01 5:32

Yeah, because last week was um sticks. Sorry, boomerang. Boomerangs. Or not even boomerang. Not returning to Frisbee. Frisbee, yeah. Okay. Interesting. So two years Homeboy had before he was. Drafted into the army, yeah. I don't know. How would have been sick?

SPEAKER_00 5:45

Key events included Brazil winning its first World Cup. Yeah, yeah. The invention of instant Raymond. Raymond, sorry. Raymond, like Rayman Noodle. You say Raymond? I do. I know a lot of people.

SPEAKER_01 5:57

I say ramen at a ramen place. I say rayman noodles too, though. That's so funny. Oh my god. Love that. Different places. Yeah. Different, yeah, verbiage. Different, different like pronunciations for like yeah. We're talking about, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:10

Yeah. That's so funny. That's so funny. Um, and quite literally the biggest, the most impactful thing, I think, for me in this list. Okay. The debut of the Billboard Hot 100 chart. Oh. And why is that meaningful? Because the top billboard hits from 1958, one of them listed as soon as I read this, can't get it out of my head now. All I have to do is dream by the Everly Brothers. Dream, dream, dream, dream. You wouldn't ever, I want you. Interesting. That's what's is that number one? Um, it wasn't ranked. Oh, it's bullet point, but it's third down. So this could be What's the first bullet point? The order. Uh at the Hop by Danny and the Juniors. Okay. Then Witch Doctor by David Seville. I think I'm saying that right. Okay. Uh, yeah, there's some other ones on here by Ricky Nelson. Sure. Yeah. Sure. Tommy Edwards, the Teddy Bears. Yeah. But um Who? The Everly Brothers and All I Have to Do is Dream. And what I totally forgot that song existed. A beautiful, heartbreaking, sad song. Like Whenever I Want You, All I Have To Do Is Dream. Wait, cute. Oh, so precious and so heartbreaking. I don't know like the context behind it. No. I have no either.

SPEAKER_01 7:26

What's your guess?

SPEAKER_00 7:28

Breakup, maybe? Could be something more political. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. I have no idea.

SPEAKER_01 7:33

I have no idea.

SPEAKER_00 7:34

I will actually be looking this one up. That's so funny. Okay. But it'll be stuck in my head now. Living rent-free. Probably for the it might be my weekly theme song. You think? Do you have a weekly?

SPEAKER_01 7:46

Can I ask you a question? Do you have like I was talking about this yesterday in the car? Um like songs that you apply to certain situations. Yes. Like a crash. Unintentionally, but yeah. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah. Or like a song do you play like when you just like need to cry?

SPEAKER_00 8:03

You know, I think enough songs make me cry that I haven't like given one enough power to like own it yet on in that front. Uh-huh. But like every time we sit down to do the podcast, there's a there's a few different ones I'll rotate through. That's true. Yeah. That's true. Interesting. Okay. Okay. And this week's theme theme song for my family was Desposito. So every week. And Jason's like, can't wait. Can't wait to see what next week brings. What's the next song? Uh-huh. This week we also have you seen Billy Madison? No. Okay, I figured that, but I Jason started singing a song. I knew I knew it, but I couldn't tell from where it was from Billy Madison. I hadn't seen that in so long. But it's um talking about school, like having to go to school to prove to dad he's not a fool. Well, um, it's just a dumb song that Adam Sandler sings in the movie. Okay. But the boys this week had a couple days they had to go to school that they hadn't wanted to.

SPEAKER_01 9:01

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 9:01

So then we got up singing the song Back to School to prove to Dad I'm not a fool. What is that a real song? From Billy Madison. I don't think it's like real outside of that, but it sounds super familiar. It's him, him like Jason found the video on YouTube, maybe. It's him with maybe a lunch pail or something pacing in the driveway waiting for the bus. Interesting. Yeah. So we've been playing it for the kids, and uh one of the boys is very disgusted by it, and I keep singing it to him. He's getting annoyed with it. Oh, he's like over it. It gets stuck in his head, and then his brother sings it, and then he's like, please stop. Yeah. Cute. Anyways, yes, so music, hell yeah. You as well. You have like theme songs? Oh, definitely. Definitely. What what's your theme song for a crash out? Um It's uh Beyoncé.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

Yeah. I could have guessed that. Of course. Yeah. There's a Beyonce song for every mood that I have after.

SPEAKER_00 9:51

I was gonna say, is there one Beyonce song that fits for everything?

SPEAKER_01 9:54

For the most part. There's not like a No, there is, actually, yeah. Yeah. What one were you gonna say? Which category? I was gonna say there's not like a grief one, but there is. There is, yeah. Yeah. I won't say what it is, obviously.

SPEAKER_00 10:04

Yeah, no, you're fine. Um, yeah. We should put an album together of songs like Check this song, not an album, but like a playlist. Check this song when you're feeling blue. Check this song when you're feeling like if you want to cry. If you want a good cry. I'm so I've such a good playlist for that already. We should pick like 10 categories and you and me each go find songs for them and make our own and then like share them out. I would totally do that. Yeah, me too. Interesting. Maybe we could have people vote on them. Yeah, yeah. Would you would you want to check out a Carla album and a Carly album if we put them together for albums? Oh, I'm like, wait. Separate, and then we can like and then vote on them? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

We have totally they would be totally different albums.

SPEAKER_00 10:46

Of course they would be. But like how fun. Not maybe not vote, maybe like talk through them. It would just be like, which one are you choosing, you know?

SPEAKER_01 10:53

Yeah. Because people that like your type of music would choose yours. People that like my type, we just like to do that.

SPEAKER_00 10:58

Of course. But I'd love to see like the discussion around that. Yeah, yeah. Can you be overlap of anyone, any songs? There could be. Depends what categories we choose. Sure. Yeah. For a breakup, I mean we might come to I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 11:10

Yeah. I'm not choosing any like Screamo music. I imagine you'll choose a little Screamo for yours.

SPEAKER_00 11:15

I don't maybe. It depends. Maybe come on. Depends. Could go country, could go Screamo, could go.

SPEAKER_01 11:21

Oh, if it's country, we might choose the same songs.

SPEAKER_00 11:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

Maybe not, though. I don't know. Would chicken fried somehow make it on there? Um it might. I could probably swing that to make any category work. I mean, we could have a category, it's a bop, like you're at the bar and it comes on. Well, yeah. Yeah. Can I see a question? What song do you feel like you would put on? If if you had to put on any song for me, like that you know that I'm gonna like, what would you put on?

SPEAKER_00 11:50

Besides chicken fried, because that's awesome. Besides Beyonce, besides Whitney Houston, besides Ooh, yeah, that's fair. Yeah, I mean, like, if we're going. If I have to put on a song for you, then I'm like, she might like this and I like this.

SPEAKER_01 12:05

Ooh. There's one song that I think of that I don't know that anyone would ever like guess. Yeah. But like, I love that song. What song? It makes me like want to kick down a fucking door. Ooh, which one? Um, Man I Feel Like a Woman by Shania Twain. I fucking love that song. Really? Yeah. I that song, I love that fucking song. That's the song I sang in the eighth-grade talent show. I know that. I know that. We talked about that, right? The way we both sang on the eighth grade talent show. So embarrassing. So fucking embarrassing.

SPEAKER_00 12:32

Yeah. Yikes. Carly, there's probably footage somewhere.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

Not of me. Trust that. I guarantee there is. Your mom probably would have had it. I promise she didn't. She wasn't there. No? No, it was like during the school day. Oh, okay. Yeah. There are a few people that were there that probably listened to this podcast, and like, if you have that footage, I'll literally slit your throat. Um, but what'd you sing in the AK? I'll never say. Why? I'll never fucking say.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

Because it's controversial as well.

SPEAKER_01 12:57

It's controversial as hell. Who was the artist? I know I the it's a controversial. I'm not gonna say. Was it male or female? Alright, let's move on. How was your week? Let's do happy crappy. We can do happy crappy.

SPEAKER_00 13:11

Uh my crappy. I've got two. Um, and one will continue to make its way to the top of my crappy every week until all human rights are no longer ignored. And that is the state of the United States and what is happening politically right now. Not gonna get into it any further than that. Yeah. In this moment, but uh that's my crappy. The more personal crappy is my word for the year is Zen. I feel like I've been doing really good with that. I'm like trying to embody that and just stay calm and stay honest and stay true to myself. And it's been going pretty well until Thursday night. And just my frustration seeped out. I got really annoyed with my kids. I haven't been that agitated in a while. I talked to them about it. I raised my voice a couple times. We talked, I shared with them that wasn't appropriate. We had a great conversation from it just about like anger and frustration and where it comes from and why it happens, and like how to recognize ourselves and what we're feeling. And so even though it was a negative, it was also this like a nice learning moment. Yeah. Jason put in a lot of extra time with them Thursday night after he got home because I just needed I was tapped out. Yeah. I was really tapped out.

SPEAKER_01 14:24

I imagine so. I imagine like Thursday after like a full week of especially with like because it's so cold and like we have to be inside so much. Yes, yes, it's probably so difficult.

SPEAKER_00 14:34

And then also in the winter with the kids like wanting to have a soda or chocolate or things with sugar, and we had so many good conversations about sugar content this week and like what it does to our brains and our bodies, and like how sugar is not evil, but just like anything, moderation is good. Yeah. And the kids were wound up, I think, Wednesday night. So then coming into Thursday, my brain just you like needed. And I stayed patient through some heavy stuff this week. So yeah, the boys and I had a good conversation Friday morning on the way to school. I shared with them that it was inappropriate for me to raise my voice as much as I had, and that sometimes people get frustrated and do things that they know are wrong. And um, I just said it was wrong for me, and they were over it so quick, totally. But like, I think it's our job to model, like it's okay to model what can't happen and then talk about why that's not okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:28

To show what it looks like to like ask for forgiveness as well.

SPEAKER_00 15:30

Yeah, absolutely, and to like seek that out and then to say it's okay if you guys are still frustrated with me, and we can talk about it whenever you want.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

Did you, when growing up, like did your parents yell at you a lot? Or like, did you get like um what did your punishments look like? So like did you get grounded?

SPEAKER_00 15:46

I was a pretty good kid. Yeah, there's no doubt. Uh I I'm sure my mom, if she listens to this, she'll be like, There were times, yeah. Of course, there were times a child, yeah. Yeah, but I was a pretty good kid, like I held myself to high standards. Um I punished myself if I didn't get an A. I see that in my kids, which is crazy because I'm like, was I like this? Um, but punishment wise, like just like most parents, like parents go through rough patches, and like there are times most kids can acknowledge if they've been in a household with two parents, that there are times it's not always sunshine and rainbows. Um, but punishment wise, we got over shit really quick. Like my dad would get frustrated with me and then be like 10 minutes later, hey car, you want to run to town with me? But you never got like spankings or anything like that?

SPEAKER_01 16:32

We did. Like a not a spanking, like not like a whooping, but like a yeah, like a pat on behind or something like that. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:37

I mean, my dad fashioned a wooden paddle, like and threatened us with it.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

Fashioned a wooden paddle. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:42

Y'all, if you are in your mid to late 30s and your father was a terrifying man who made a nice big paddle out of a two by four and would keep it above the uh fridge as like a nice threat. Fashioned a wooden paddle. That's a phrase, by the way. Fashioned a wooden paddle. Oh my goodness. Yeah. He told me he could cut holes in it to make it more aerodynamic. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:06

We use it we had a paint stick at our house.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

A paint stick.

SPEAKER_01 17:09

It came with the holes. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:11

Did did your mom ever try to punish you and you left? Of course. And then your dad got in there harder.

SPEAKER_01 17:17

Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh man. I remember those days. Because like my dad is like, to me, he's like not a scary person. Like. But could he become scary? I could see your dad as. Yeah, I get like if you if you don't know my dad.

SPEAKER_00 17:30

If he raised his voice around me, I'd vacate that house so quick. That's everybody says. Uh huh.

SPEAKER_01 17:35

Okay, sure.

SPEAKER_00 17:36

Yeah. Because I don't see him as that. Like if I saw that I'd be like.

SPEAKER_01 17:39

So he's so like to everybody, such a gentle gentle giant. Like very much so. And he's so kind, like.

SPEAKER_00 17:47

Yep. Until he sits across from you at a family gathering and grills you. And I'm like, what does he know and not know? What can I say and not say? And trust and believe he doesn't know anything.

SPEAKER_01 17:57

The answer is always he doesn't know anything. He has no idea. Yeah. He doesn't know anything. He does not watch this podcast. Trust that.

SPEAKER_00 18:02

I love this so much. Um, so crappies. Um, yeah, just losing patience. And if you're a parent who has been there before and you know this and you feel this, like it just hurts. It hurts your heart. But then you get over it. Give yourself some grace though. Like, yeah. I'm still human. I told myself on Thursday this will pass. Yeah. You are feeling things deeply right now. You are frustrated at the world, you're having a hard time having hard conversations. Your feelings are valid. Like just telling myself, you're not a crazy person. This is very human. But make sure that your humanness doesn't lose sight of like coming back from this. Yeah. Um, so that was frustration. But then I had one, I had a lot of positives this week, but one really great one actually happened on Friday. Uh, I subbed in a classroom on Friday. It was a little bit tricky. Uh, at the end of the day, uh it took me a while to pack up and get together, and the kids had been waiting a while. And I came into the room they were waiting in, and they were working together to make a paper flower bouquet. Oh, cute for the girlfriend of my oldest. A new girlfriend? A repeat girlfriend. Oh, okay. Same one he's been seeing on and off since last year. Okay. And like she's adorable in his class. Like, she always hugs me. Um, of course. And they keep dating, but he keeps telling me, she's nice to you, but not to me. I'm like, why are you dating then? Like, that's like yes, truly. These two are so cute together. Um, so he was doing that. It was cute, but I'm trying to like, okay, boys, we gotta go. I started the car. I walked back in to get them because they weren't done yet. And two gals that I don't talk to a lot at the school because we're in different rooms and just we don't, you know, end up interacting. Interacting. Yeah. Uh they were leaving. One of them stopped and said, Wait, which of these boys is yours? And I said, Oh, they both are. And she stops in her tracks and says, No way. I just have to share with you a couple things. And it's in front of the kids, so I'm already like, it's probably gonna be positive. It was the greatest compliment a parent can hear about their children. She told me that the boys are so kind. Oh wow, so good at critical thinking. She saw them in action that day when they played. It was a day that we had some other activities interwoven into class. One of them had played Jeopardy, one had played Family Feud, she had been present for each. She said, the way that they talk things out, how they work through stuff, their ability to see all sides, like, oh my gosh, she said it's basically the stuff that like we all want to see, and that a lot of kids are missing, and your kids have it. Oh my god, stop. And I was like, Are you kidding?

SPEAKER_01 20:48

Do not make me cry right now.

SPEAKER_00 20:49

I put my arms around each of the kids and gave them a hug and a kiss, and I said, I'm so proud of you. Yeah. And she goes, You should be. Oh my god. I know. And like to hear other teachers like recognize that. Recognize that because without me being in the school, like I wouldn't have had the opportunity to hear that. Like these are things that they're experiencing just like every day. Yeah. But they don't get to reach out to parents and tell them every little thing.

SPEAKER_01 21:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:14

And just right place, right time. We were running incredibly late. Last kids leaving. Yeah. She happened to see me with them and shared that. And I just I was over the moon. Yeah. That's such a good way to end your week, too. It was.

SPEAKER_01 21:26

Yeah, that's amazing. It was awesome.

SPEAKER_00 21:27

And then they had a basketball game on Saturday, proud of them. They're like showing up as these little athletes. Like, and I was, I was athletic enough when I was a kid. So was my ex-husband. Like, yeah. Um, but to see your kids like figuring out a way to use sports as such a positive influence in their lives, and watching, you know, my oldest who has ADHD, who's like so focused on the court and so like able to communicate with others, and car it was good. Love that. It was good. So I just You had a good family week. Had a good family week. Love. That's all I can say about it. Okay. I needed that with all the heavy. So what about you for your happy and crappies this week?

SPEAKER_01 22:13

Um, let me think. My crappies, I mean, yeah, the state of the world. I uh made the mistake of getting a bit of a peek of the so the Department of I won't get into the heavy. Yeah. The Department of Dressers released more of the Epstein files to redacted. Yes. And I got a peek of some of it. Yeah. And I just like Did it make you want to vomit? Uh-huh. Yeah. And I I'm I'm coming to the realization that like we keep hearing that like everything's a distraction. Maybe like the things happening in Minneapolis are a distraction from the Epstein files. Yep. You know, the um the thing that the Venezuela is a distraction from what's happening on home territory. It's all just like a byproduct of these people just being evil people.

SPEAKER_00 22:53

Yes. At what point is it no longer distraction?

SPEAKER_01 22:56

It's literally like these people are just horrible be human beings.

SPEAKER_00 23:00

Guys, there's no ulterior motive. It's literally just who they are.

SPEAKER_01 23:04

When people show you who they are. You need to believe them. My Angela said it best.

SPEAKER_00 23:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:08

I just like. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:12

It's I read a few of them. Um, I didn't read everything word for word.

SPEAKER_01 23:16

I had to stop. I was like.

SPEAKER_00 23:17

And I know some of it was like there was the unofficial release, and then there was people screenshot it. It got removed from the original post that went live. Like, but by then it's all circulating, right? And so you see a lot of um questioning victims.

unknown 23:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:35

Well, we don't even know if this is true. You guys want enough people come forward? Like, I'm just like we're not, I know people call it that Trump derangement syndrome, whatever it is. Whatever. Like, not. It's not a syndrome, you guys. This is real stuff that's happening to real people. And it's not like these are new complaints. They're not new complaints. These have been for years in the 90s.

SPEAKER_01 23:58

Yeah. It's just so sick. It is so sick. Yep. And I'm like so embarrassed to be a part of this country because of that reason. Yeah. There's so many reasons to like love this country. I like I have always said that. Like, there's so much good happening here that we don't even get to see because so much crazy is happening. Yes. I've been watching um 90 Day Fiance the Other Way. We started Kelsey and I started back.

SPEAKER_00 24:22

I've been watching 90 Day Fiance Um, not the other way. Really random about that. Before the 90? Not before the 90. I have no idea. There's another one I've been watching that's a spin-off of that. So randomly. It's very funny. Yeah. What the hell?

SPEAKER_01 24:35

It's so funny. Kelsey and I started it back like when I was there for the year. When you were there, yeah. Like I've just been trying to catch up. But the other way, meaning the uh Americans go abroad to like live with their partners. Yes. And the more I see it, the more the more I'm like, I would never do that. Like and to be fair, a lot of them are going to like these third world countries where like they're going where poverty is happy. And like it's just such it's a drastic culture change, like culture drift. And I'm like, I'm not someone who like does that type of change well. Like moving. Yes. I I mean like I've obviously moved states, like uprooted my life for a couple of years.

SPEAKER_00 25:09

But when you move states, you're still in.

SPEAKER_01 25:12

I'm three hours from my family. Like, I'm not someone who can uproot my change my entire life to be with someone who's living in another country whose standards are. It really speaks a different language. Like there's a language barrier, there's like Yep. It there's just and you really can't really work. There's like a whole thing. Like Yep. No. Yep. And like, but are you g then you like think about what's going on here and you're like, well, I kinda get it. I kinda get it. But still, like I'm not going to India. I'm sorry. Like, I'm not going to South Africa.

SPEAKER_00 25:45

Remote places that don't have running water.

SPEAKER_01 25:48

No, no hot water. One girl, she's 23, she like moved to Aruba. Yeah. Which sounds great. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:54

There's no hot water.

SPEAKER_01 25:55

Jamaica.

SPEAKER_00 25:57

I think my mom's been to Aruba. I'm sure a lot of people have been to Aruba. She's been to Venezuela. She's been to Aruba.

SPEAKER_01 26:02

Some of those places sound like places I would want to go. One girl moved, like, nope. She went to Colombia. No, not Colombia.

unknown 26:09

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 26:10

I have a friend that was like.

unknown 26:14

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 26:14

What's going on? What are you doing? Oh. Now's not the time to go. I just like some people, I don't know. That's a big leap of faith. But she did it because she loved the man. And I of course. Yeah. I'm a romantic, so like there's a lot I would do for love.

SPEAKER_00 26:28

Yeah. But I won't do that.

SPEAKER_01 26:30

I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. I'm not uprooting my life to go live in a in a hurricane zone. Yeah. Post-hurricane.

SPEAKER_00 26:37

And again, there's lots of like for as much bad as ha is happening around us in the United States. There's so much good. There is so much good. We just don't get to hear about it because it's undermined.

SPEAKER_01 26:47

Yeah, the bad is so loud right now. It's so loud. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:50

And you know what I'm seeing a lot more this week, which I think is helping my zen. You know, I haven't been able to like stay off social at all. I can't. But I also am making the conscious decision to be more plugged in right now. Just to, I can't. I know ignoring it's a luxury. I've lived that luxury for a while. I'm done living it for right now in my story. Yeah. Different for a lot of people. Good for you, by the way. Good for you. But and I even talked to the boy's stepmom about this. We've been exchanging audio messages, and I'm like, it's been a heavy week, girl. And here's what I did. And I even told her that I was frustrated with the kids, and she's always so thankful when I share my heart with her, and vice versa. I just love having her like in our family's corner. You know, it's not just for me, it's for the greater good of the six. Yeah. Um, and we've had obviously a lot of interactions lately, but we and I have been acknowledging that as we've been watching the momentum build every day. I see more celebrities, more organizations, um, more traditionally quiet, doesn't take a political stance type industry speaking up and saying, you know, what you do to one, you do to all, basically. Yeah. Um, right, there's all these expressions for the least of us, for the you know, yeah, yeah. Um, and I think we're finally seeing humanity kind of go, yeah. Yeah. Like one incident like this is too much. So, anyways, I totally No, don't apologize.

SPEAKER_01 28:21

You're fine.

SPEAKER_00 28:22

I know, I just took over your happy crappy because I had more to say, but No, I it was it was all relevant and within the framework.

SPEAKER_01 28:29

Yeah. Um, so yeah, sorry. There's a lot of good and yeah. The crappy was really crappy. The whole there are evil people in this world, one of them is running this country.

SPEAKER_00 28:40

One of them is running the country. Um, and you know what? Power back to the people because like we give this individual way too much power. Like, wow, he's taking it, he's running with what he has. He has the power. He has the power. I was reading something, and I don't know, I didn't look into this one because to be honest, I don't give a fuck. But in the sense of like what he's decorating in the White House with, did you hear some of the pictures and some of the Yeah? Okay, yeah, I'm not going down that road, just like interesting. Yeah, yeah. And I remember in one of the jobs I had recently talking with somebody about the stages of adult development, because obviously I was in a professional development. Yeah. Um, and just like where the leadership of our country falls. Yep, he's not on the scale of growth, y'all. Like he's just not babes, not he's stuck, he's very stuck. No, um, very yeah, yeah. And I had a really sad moment this week, actually. I can I read something to you? Sure. It's like probably the most political thing I've written. It made me cry.

unknown 29:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 29:49

But like it's not bad. It won't make any it made me cry in the context of what I was like firing it at, if that makes sense. Um so this had to do with I'm just to be clear, you do want to read this on the podcast, right? Yeah, I mean it's not like it's the premise of it. I'm not like sharing the whole thing, right? But I was having a conversation and there's a lot of people right now that are saying, I didn't mean to get political on this, but here we go. But that are saying, um, I support some of it, right? Just some of it.

SPEAKER_01 30:21

Okay, yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_00 30:22

I don't I can't we're I'm yes, there's a lot more to say about that. Um so I wrote this little thing. Um oh my gosh, I wrote so many thoughts on it actually. But basically the whole premise of it was this like if someone manhandled me or just handled me the way right now that they're handling women, men, children, locking them up for hours, days, weeks on end, not issuing feminine products for women, not issuing medical attention. I'm I'm a woman who bleeds every month. I'm also a woman that has medical needs. I have one kidney, like I've had problems. Um, I would be without my SSRI medications, like withdrawals, no contact with family, my boys would be traumatized. Like all these things that are happening, if those things all happen to me, and I basically wrote out the scenario of like thinking, putting myself in these people's shoes, if I got dropped after like two weeks, three weeks in the middle of nowhere with no cell phone, and I was finally able to find a phone to call someone, you guys, my list of safe people, like I if I have to pause and think if you're someone safe I can call, then you're not on the right side of history right now.

SPEAKER_01 31:32

Wow. How how long is your list?

SPEAKER_00 31:35

Um, I didn't finish making the list. This was geared towards a couple people individually, yeah, who I love dearly, and I would pause thinking if I could call them because of either the lack of speaking up or speaking out in a way that's in direct opposition of humanity right now. Yeah. So wow. And I I wrote, I'd wonder if my sacrifice for just some of it was worth it.

SPEAKER_01 31:59

Yeah. So um writing has been helping me. Yeah. Just to be clear, yes. It's worth it. There's a line in Hamilton Hamilton. Um what is it? I may not live to see the glory, but I'll gladly join the fight. Isn't that so good?

SPEAKER_00 32:16

Plant trees for whose shade you'll never get to rest. Yeah, exactly that. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I love that. That's from Hamilton. Yeah. And yet the man at Trivia said, You don't know enough about Hamilton. Nope. Not going there. It is what it is. It is what it is, Peter Pettigrew. Is he listening? Is he listening? Okay, we're good. There's no way. I digress. I'm sorry, but no, for sure, for sure. Just I I've really been sitting hard in that this week, and I think I'm finally to the like over the hump of initial sadness. Yeah. And now it's more like, come on, everybody. Come on over. Here's the line. Come with us. Join us. You will be on the right side of history over here. We're happy over here. We're not happy. We're not happy. But we're not blind. We're not blind. It's time to fight. It's time to fight. Yeah. Um, let's fight for some happies. What were your happies this week?

SPEAKER_01 33:07

I don't have any other crappies actually.

SPEAKER_00 33:08

You don't? Okay. I don't think so. Um, you had a lot of happies this week. Come on, you had a lot of happies this week.

SPEAKER_01 33:17

I had some happies this week.

SPEAKER_00 33:18

Yeah. Any you want to highlight? Um I got to see my family this week.

SPEAKER_01 33:24

Oh no, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 33:25

Of course. You had you had a nice little trip, a nice little visit, saw some fam, saw some friends.

SPEAKER_01 33:30

Yeah. I uh um So the Love of My Life is in town. Okay. Um we uh made plans to get together. I don't want to like tell too many details.

SPEAKER_00 33:41

Don't you don't have to tell too many details. Um I get to know them, which is like my privilege, but like we can share as off as much or as little.

SPEAKER_01 33:49

Yeah, we spent some time in the car together yesterday. We had a pretty not long road trip, maybe like five hours. Yeah. Um and he is in town for a few days, and I'm just like really excited about it.

SPEAKER_00 34:03

You're gonna see him today? Yes. I'm so excited for you.

SPEAKER_01 34:06

Yeah, I am too.

SPEAKER_00 34:08

And are you working a normal work week or as normal as like your work weeks are? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:13

I didn't even think to like adjust the schedule at all.

SPEAKER_00 34:16

But but why would you? I mean.

SPEAKER_01 34:18

Yeah, I've worked on home. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:22

So you guys are gonna hang out.

SPEAKER_01 34:23

Yeah, which I'm excited. I'm nervous. Yeah. I like I don't know if I should say this, but like I was like ner like on my way to the place where you met up. Actually on my way to like my sister's house. Yeah. I was like, should I be doing this? Like, this is really crazy. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 34:42

Like what I just met this person. But how often do you get to feel that feeling? Like, am I crazy? Am I Yeah, that's true. That's true. Like, you should be, if you're on the right track, you should be asking yourself that every now and again, right? Like, I don't know. You should be taking leaps and risks and this this is a big leap, I feel you don't think? I sorry, I do think it is in the context of like zooming in on feelings and emotion and the now. But when you look at the big picture, like, aren't we What's the big picture? Living life, going places, doing the thing, saying yes. Oh, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 35:19

Okay, if you look at it that way, sure, it's like not that big a deal. But like I love the slight eye roll. Sure. Yeah, I guess. I don't know, but like I just like so I guess I I um You made a drive Patruly ended up in Wisconsin for a family thing. I drove to well, I drove to Chicago on Friday night. To your family home to the area. Yeah, yeah. Um to go, I stopped halfway and then on Saturday morning went to Wisconsin to pick him up, and then we drove back to here. Michigan together, yeah. Yeah, to spend some time together. Um, and I just like I don't know. It just is like it's like a crazy like I would never do this for anyone else. No, I would literally never do this.

SPEAKER_00 36:00

It has to be the right time and place, the right person. Like all the things have to stack up to go. This feels like a comfortable situation.

SPEAKER_01 36:07

Yeah, and it really did like even like the drive, like it felt so natural, like it just was like not I'm sorry, the drive with him. Like I would say the drive there was.

SPEAKER_00 36:15

No, of course, but the drive with him, yeah, good conversation. Good conversation, we just like listened to music, like chatted, like I think it's also important to honor where your dog was during this time.

SPEAKER_01 36:26

Yeah. I couldn't get him off of uh uh Patrilli's lap. Yeah. I just like I just make you feel. No, it was like really hurtful. It's really hurtful for me.

SPEAKER_00 36:36

Like But I learned yesterday that Simon was a man's dog for the first year of his life. So I don't know why that matters. It absolutely matters. Why? Because as a puppy, he was loved by a man and he misses that. That was ten years ago, over ten years ago. He's how old now? Twelve. Okay. I think just when dogs get older, remember that they also kind of are younger again, too.

SPEAKER_01 37:03

I understand that. But it's not like no, there's like not enough men in his life to have like really developed a sense of like I mean he loves Jason. Yeah, he sure he likes the long-term men in his life. Yes. Except my father, obviously.

SPEAKER_00 37:20

Your dad doesn't like him either. For sure. Like my dad and Uncle Billy like are both knows. Why?

SPEAKER_01 37:26

It's their energy. It is their energy on the he loves Bao. He likes Jason and he likes Nate. Like all the long-term men have he has no issues with. But the energy of dad and Uncle Billy is just like not. He doesn't like them. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 37:42

I get that actually. They're hard to read.

SPEAKER_01 37:44

Totally. Are they gonna give you affection?

SPEAKER_00 37:46

Are they gonna speak like deeply in your direction?

SPEAKER_01 37:48

They do both, like they're both relative well, Uncle Uncle Billy's not super intimidating to me.

SPEAKER_00 37:52

Well, neither of them are intimidating, but they're billowing voices when they want. Like they could have that, like Yeah, sure. And for a dog.

unknown 37:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 38:00

So Patrulli held Simon the entire way while driving.

SPEAKER_01 38:02

Totally. Yeah. And uh except for when we were eating. Yep. And even then he wouldn't sit on my lap. He was like in the con in the center console waiting for patrulli to finish eating. So he could get right back. Yeah. Are you crazy? This bitch. Was he eating it up? Was he liking it?

SPEAKER_00 38:16

Yeah. Yeah. Does he have any animals?

SPEAKER_01 38:19

Um he used to have dogs. Okay. His dogs have uh since passed. Okay. Um he is access like where he's where he's where he lives in Cedar Springs, there's a dog that lives there. Okay. There's our well, there's like a there's a farm. So like. There's a farm? He calls it a homestead. To me, that's a farm, so.

SPEAKER_00 38:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 38:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:39

I have s I'm gonna develop a lot of questions to be asking, but not right now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:43

Um, so yeah, that's my biggest happy, I guess. Like not only did I get to see my girlies, my nieces and my sisters, and I saw my dad too. Yeah. Um, and then I I almost saw my bed. I almost saw Bayo, but he was asleep. And today's his birthday.

SPEAKER_00 38:57

Oh, I was gonna say you didn't see him for his birthday? What?

SPEAKER_01 39:00

I'll say like that. He was like, I mean, it was his choice, to be clear. Bayo. Um fun. Um so my happy is that the love of my life is in town, Patchulis in town, and you get to see him later. Really excited to see him and hang out with him for this week. Do you have anything planned that's like I realized I should have made some plans. No. Today we just decided we're just gonna do like a slow day and like hang out. Yes, lay low. Like to do a puzzle, drink some wine, maybe do some shrooms.

unknown 39:24

I love that. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 39:25

Yeah, I'm really I'm just like excited. I'm excited to just like hang out. Just be in his company. Honestly, yeah. Yeah. Um, okay.

SPEAKER_00 39:33

Okay. That was happy crappy. It did, but you know what? Whatever. It's our fucking show. It's our fucking show. Like, it's my turn to pick a card from Oh Listen Bitch Pile. Are you feeling like you want a specific color card? No. I'll just grab one. And these top ones are all the ones we've done. The ones at the bottom. The ones at the bottom are the ones we've done. Girl, you got so organized. I don't even know what to do. Oh, you put them like this way?

SPEAKER_01 39:59

Backwards, I think. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:00

Can you just stop being so brilliant? Oh, I mean. Okay. I'm gonna pick one. Ready? Can I shuffle? Okay, sure. We integrated them last week. Unlike. Unlike the packaging and what the packaging did. Okay.

unknown 40:16

Ah!

SPEAKER_01 40:19

Listen, bitch. You might doubt it'll happen, but what if it fucking does? Ooh!

SPEAKER_00 40:27

Truth bombs.

SPEAKER_01 40:28

You might doubt it'll happen. But what if it fucking does? What if it does? What does that make you think of? Like, what's the first thing that came to mind?

SPEAKER_00 40:40

Um, a few things. Pregnancy could be one of them. For for a lot of people that are not for me. I know a lot of people that are experiencing like where they want to have a baby. Sure, sure, sure. And so, like, a lot of a lot of doubt on pregnancy right now, but like, what if it fucking happens?

SPEAKER_01 40:56

I hope it does work.

SPEAKER_00 40:56

It's your year. It's your year. I'm speaking to someone specifically. What came to your mind?

SPEAKER_01 41:02

Um world peace? No, I actually don't doubt that'll happen. I do feel like that'll happen one day. Yeah. Maybe not in my lifetime, but I do feel like someday. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:12

Before the cessation of the earth.

SPEAKER_01 41:15

My I was thinking about a a change you you and your family are thinking about.

SPEAKER_00 41:19

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:20

What if it fucking does happen?

SPEAKER_00 41:22

You might doubt it'll happen, but what if you doubt that it'll happen? Just to be clear.

SPEAKER_01 41:27

None of us do. I don't know. I do doubt it, but I doubt it'll happen this year, if anything.

SPEAKER_00 41:33

Yeah, maybe next year. Maybe next year. Yeah. Yeah. Huh. We'll see. Maybe timeline just. Yeah. Timeline shift for sure. Right package, wrong doorstep. Right package, wrong time. Right package, wrong doorstep. Yeah. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 41:46

Someone did you say that to me before this week?

SPEAKER_00 41:48

Like yesterday I said it's been on my heart. Because that's how like I remember when I was divorced and like just dating, and when things wouldn't work out, and I'd feel so much like, is it me? And I just kept saying, No, I'm I'm the right package. That person is the right package. We just got misaligned, got delivered at the wrong time, got whatever. But like, right package, right doorstep, right time. That's the sweet.

SPEAKER_01 42:13

Someone else said that to me this week. Oh, it was my therapist. Good. Yeah, well.

SPEAKER_00 42:19

Maybe good. It was good. It was really good. Yeah. Same therapist that had the baby.

SPEAKER_01 42:24

Yes. Okay. Um. I mean, like. Is she back as strong as ever or yeah, I don't, I mean, yes. I forgot that. I mean, I'm on a new insurance like this year because I had to the marketplace. You know what's going on? Yes. Um, but she's, I mean, I don't know why. Like, I got the specific insurance. Yeah. Knowing that I would be able to go to her again. Yes. She's moving out of state. It's just like not meant to be. You know? I just I actually can't even believe it. Isn't it the craziest bad luck? That is the craziest bad luck. Like, can you just stick around for me, please? Why the hell? I can't keep paying out of pocket. Can you do a virtual or something? Yeah, but like you still wouldn't take my insurance. Because it would be out of state. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:08

That's some bullshit. That's some bullshit.

SPEAKER_01 43:12

Yeah. Yeah. But it was a really good. I so needed it. Yeah. So needed that.

SPEAKER_00 43:17

Was it your first in-person one in a while?

SPEAKER_01 43:19

Um, yeah, it was.

SPEAKER_00 43:21

Like this year, probably.

SPEAKER_01 43:22

Definitely this year. Yeah. Probably in the last few months. Yeah. Three, four months.

SPEAKER_00 43:29

That's awesome. And she said that too, huh?

SPEAKER_01 43:31

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:34

Just call me a therapist.

SPEAKER_01 43:35

Yeah, honestly. Speaking truth. Listen, bitch. You might doubt it'll happen, but what if it fucking does?

unknown 43:42

What if it fucking does?

SPEAKER_01 43:44

Love that.

SPEAKER_00 43:44

I do too. That's the energy we need to bring into this year. Honestly, yeah. It goes along with Zen too. I can stay Zen and also be like, but what if?

SPEAKER_01 43:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:52

Yeah. Beautiful. So beautiful. That's a really and I like that there's a butterfly on it because it just feels like moving in. Is that a butterfly? I saw a fairy, but you saw butterflies. Oh, I saw wings. That's fair. Now I see the fairy. That's cute. This one's going up in my bedroom. Love. Yeah. I I try to put them around the house.

SPEAKER_01 44:09

Can I tell you that Kelsey wants these cards?

SPEAKER_00 44:11

No.

SPEAKER_01 44:12

She does. Really? Yeah. Or I don't think she wants to keep them. She wants to like go through them and like use them for her classroom.

SPEAKER_00 44:17

Oh my god, I'll ship her down. I'll package up when we're we have the other ones up there, right? Yeah, she can get them when she comes.

SPEAKER_01 44:25

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Maybe you're right. I didn't think about that. I can get them to her. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:30

Um, I know you and I talked about topics. Yeah. I had a non-controversial like mention, and then I'd like to jump into a topic, but part of my realization or like conversation recently with my husband and my family is just more so settling into your home and your life and what that looks like. And that can go hand in hand with creating boundaries. It can go hand in hand. Right. There's so many drugs. But um, as I've been trying to purchase less, be de-influenced, reuse things. I mean, I carried that corner desk from down here upstairs on a whim, thinking, oh, it might fit and it works. But like people are so obsessed with these aesthetically pleasing homes, and like thinking that if they're just organized and if they're just if they buy the system or do this thing or they Marie conduit, is that what's her name? Marie Kondo condo it. If they Marie condo it, then it'll be like better. And you know, Jason and I got that rug off marketplace. We moved the desk upstairs, and I'm like feeling like our living room upstairs is becoming the place we live, which is always what the intention was. Like your home space. Yeah. Yeah. Like the place we can do puzzles and like pull out a computer and grab all the stuff. But I think we're so obsessed with what everybody else is doing and keeping up with the Joneses and like, I want to do this new project and do this thing. I've let go of all of it. I'm just like, I'll get around to it when I get around to it. Yeah. My space is feeling like my space. Love. Um, settle into it. I a highlight from last week I didn't mention was actually when there was a snow day going over to one friend's house with two, two of my girlfriends and their kids just for a few hours and just like being around other people and realizing like we don't all need perfect homes or to be perfect people or to like whatever. We can just come together and chill and exist. Yeah. And I think as we continue down this road of social media influencers, we feel less and less content with our own things. Yeah. And so when I see it now, I'm trying to remember that like de-influencing is a thing. I don't need all the things. Thrift stores are great, clothes are meant to be mended. Holes in socks don't mean they need to be thrown. Sometimes they need to be thrown out. Yeah, let's not be real honest. Let's not put that out there. Like, but like if if my slipper sock gets a little hole in the top, whatever. Like I can fix that. Uh one of my kids' jackets got ripped really bad. I sewed it. Like, oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's just start mending things and being content with what we have and repurposing that led to my you know business idea. Mm-hmm. That you hate. I don't hate it. It's just like those, I'm not, I don't fit into that business model. Y'all, my dog is eating puzzle pieces, and like every time we put a new puzzle together, there's five to six pieces missing. We're certain it's him eating them now, being that we've caught him with puzzle pieces in his mouth at this point. Um, and like I don't want to throw the puzzles away. So I've got some ideas on how to reuse and repurpose those. That's all I'm saying. We'll see what happens. We'll see what comes of it. We'll see what comes of it. But like, I've got some people in my life, you know, one who's a family member who's always like, I have to clean my house, I have to go home and clean. Yeah. Stop cleaning everybody. Stop. Trust. I am forget that spring cleaning list of cleaning the baseboards and and dusting. Like, just give yourself a break for a minute. Live in your homes, exist with your people. Yeah, your home should look lived in. They should look lived in. They should look like someone lives there. Yes. And so that's that's my it's not controversial. I mean, maybe it is to people that want to keep like a perfectly aesthetic house, but like stop tucking things away. If you're an ADHD or and you're like out of sight, out of mind, me too. Stop putting it away. Stop putting it in a closet, stop putting it in a bin, leave it out, find a system that works for it in front of your face. If you need help, let me know. Um that's my opinion.

SPEAKER_01 48:36

Does that mean you're gonna stop um saying that you have a problem with the piles on your countertop?

SPEAKER_00 48:41

Yeah. Okay. I'm done. Good. Did you notice the clothes with gum on them? They've been sitting on the counter because I scraped them two or three days ago after freezing them. And I was like, that's all the energy. No.

unknown 48:52

Fuck.

SPEAKER_00 48:52

No, it didn't. So I mean, I scraped some off, but now what do I do? Googon, soak it? I don't know. Googon, maybe. I was gonna Google it, but like when I get to it, I get to it. If no one else in the house is getting to it, why should I? It's not bothering anybody else. Yeah, so it's not gonna bother me. Yep, yep. So I don't care. Yeah, good. And that's all I have to say about that. I also figured out that the clothing in the hallway pisses me off when the kids like leave dirty clothes, I throw them down the hallway. I told Jason I'd like to buy a small hamper or like reuse something we have in the house. Yeah. It's not one of the hampers we need. And when the kids go back to dad's house, if they haven't cleaned up their stuff, it's gonna go in that hamper, it's gonna go on their pillow, and when they get back, Oh, I would be so pissed. Take care of it. And the rule is gonna be you can't you can't just pick it up and put it back on the floor. We're done with that. Sure. Cause I'm sick of them saying we don't have clothes. Oh, sure. That's fair. Well, go in the bathroom, because I see a bunch on the floor and in the hallway, and in our room from when you did the sleepover on the floor, and they're all there. Yeah, do you have clothes? You have clothes. You just didn't pick them up. If you don't get them to your dirty hamper, you're not gonna know that you have to do laundry. Yeah. And my boys do their own laundry, so with a lot of reminders and help along the way. Person two, or yeah, I don't do his laundry.

SPEAKER_01 50:08

No, I mean like with a lot of reminders and like help along the way.

SPEAKER_00 50:10

Oh, yeah. Yeah. We've forgotten the trash going out for two weeks in a row. Like we're back.

SPEAKER_01 50:16

Well, I didn't know. I'm letting it go. No, who cares? I don't even know. I don't even know that I can pull my trash the curb right now with all the snow. Because of the snow. Yeah. And here's the thing, unless it's overflowing, like, who cares? I think I have another couple weeks that I can get away with.

SPEAKER_00 50:29

And honestly, can't we all?

SPEAKER_01 50:31

Because like we could just consume less. I don't know that Johnny can, if I'm being honest. I feel like his is overflowing.

SPEAKER_00 50:38

Damn. I mean, Johnny. Well, it is what it is. It is what it is. So, anyways, that's my um opinion and thought process. And just if you're looking to be more Zen this year, maybe just actually look at yourself and what systems you have in your house. And if they're not working, I have a couple ideas. Also, getting high and putting a puzzle together in the evening really helps the creative juices flow. Like when you're sitting in your living room doing a puzzle, just like relaxing, that's the time to go. This system doesn't work for me. I won't fix it. Yeah, I do want to talk about your puzzle system muscle, but we can talk about that offline.

SPEAKER_01 51:17

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I'm got a couple questions. Yeah, of course. Love it. Okay. All right. Um, I have two things. One's a would you rather? But I think I'll save that for after the okay. Um, I want to discuss um what it looks like to have things figured out by your mid-30s. Oh. Ready?

SPEAKER_00 51:35

By your mid-30s? Would we be in our mid-30s? I'm not. What am I? You are. But how does that fact change when we're the same age?

SPEAKER_01 51:45

Can you think that? Like I get it.

SPEAKER_00 51:46

We were born one week apart. Yes, and then you had children. So instead of saying mid-30s, why don't we say midlife?

SPEAKER_01 51:56

Oh, uh. Um. Wait, would you say your midlife? Um, no, because I'm 21, so that would not make me midlife. Um You know what?

SPEAKER_00 52:09

I'll clarify later. I'll just I'll just come back to clarify later. Midlife, mid-30s, whatever we want to call it. Go on. When you were 18.

SPEAKER_01 52:18

When I was 18, what did you feel like your life would look like? Or what no, sorry, no, no, no. What age do you think you'd have it all figured out? Like when you were 18, you were like, man, by 22, I'm gonna be figured out. Like I'm gonna have it all together.

SPEAKER_00 52:30

Basically that. 22.

SPEAKER_01 52:32

And to be fair, you got married when you were 22. I did. Yeah. That's a good point. Yeah. You felt you were kind of on track. Yeah. On track for what my thought was on track was. You know, like and what did that look like? What did what did um what is what is the timeline look like?

SPEAKER_00 52:49

Like what is Well, when I was 17, I knew that when I turned 18, I'd be uh graduating and then going off to college. Yeah. Uh I figured I wouldn't be coming back home. My mom and I love to laugh about that one. Um, you know, now that I'm like around the area. In the area, yeah. Um I figured that I'd go off to college. I had a boyfriend at the time, a high school boyfriend. He was also at the same college. You went to school together? Yeah. I didn't realize that. He uh that was a school that I knew had a good science program because when I was doing the ecology team, yeah, yeah, anyways, um, and he had figured he wasn't gonna go to school, and then he ended up going there. He was a year ahead of me. It didn't change where I was going. Um, but that was one of the schools that accepted him, which was great, sent him on a totally diff different trajectory than he thought. Um, and me too, because after that things went wildly different. Met my well now ex-husband and father of my children, got married at 22. So yeah, I guess I was on track, and then at 27, 8, 9, things just whoop and I took a little turn.

SPEAKER_01 54:00

Took a little turn and I started looking at things differently. What did you think your life would look like when you were 30? Or 30, you're 36. When you were 35, what did you when you were 18? Oh man. What did 35 look like to you?

SPEAKER_00 54:11

When I was 18, I mean, my parents still looked so young, but they had it all together, and so I figured I would have it all together.

SPEAKER_01 54:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:21

Like, why wouldn't I? And the American dream at the time was like grow up, yeah, get married, see some of the world. I didn't realize how big the world was at the time. Of course, yeah. Yeah. And have it all together and have my whatever it was at the two and a half kids. I don't know. The w yeah. I never had dreams of like the white picket fence, right? But I also never dreamed of my wedding. But I think you also think that all these things will happen.

SPEAKER_01 54:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:48

And then you wind up in a totally different spot without realizing it, because you're so busy living life.

SPEAKER_01 54:53

Who taught us that though? Like, who taught us that that's the goal? Like, because I don't think it wasn't like I don't think our my parents taught us that, like, was it just like society? Was it like media? Church, society, media school.

SPEAKER_00 55:05

Those are the top four.

SPEAKER_01 55:07

School, yeah. Definitely school.

SPEAKER_00 55:08

The school I went to was a conservative one. Like it was a public school, but like, let's be honest, it employed conservative people that lived in the conservative community that I grew up in. Yeah. And so now you have these conservative values, which are stick around, inherit generational wealth, if you're lucky to have it. I mean, yeah, you know. Yeah. Uh, marry a nice person, have your kids, go to the church, uh, make sure to donate to your local church. Totally your 10% tithes. Yep, which I have always called bullshit on. So whatever. I know. Um, yeah. Okay. Now I think money is a scam, and society and the systems we've created are all to keep us part of the hamster wheel. My views have changed entirely. Totally. What about you? Like, what was your dream and where'd you learn it from?

SPEAKER_01 55:55

Um, I yeah, I I guess I never I never really saw myself like I never saw myself having children. No. Never really saw myself getting married either. Now that's still completely different than the one I want now, which is crazy to think about. But like I saw myself successful, you know, having like a good paying job and like traveling and being the badass that you are. And like to my niece, I am a rich auntie. I love that so much. I'm really not rich. Like I cannot stress enough, I'm not rich. Um, but like, do you know what I mean? Like, just like those vibes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 56:28

No.

unknown 56:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:29

And like having like the same job forever and like all those things, and like that's just like not at all.

SPEAKER_00 56:34

Being at a successful job for 20 plus years. You know what's crazy?

SPEAKER_01 56:37

My dad, from the time I was born to the time he he retired was at the exact same job.

SPEAKER_00 56:41

Yep. I remember you telling me when I was like, what does he do? And you're like, same job he's always done. I don't know all the details, but I just couldn't tell you what he did.

SPEAKER_01 56:48

No clue. No clue.

SPEAKER_00 56:49

Which was different than how I grew up in the sense of my parents always worked together. Yeah. So our dinner table conversation was about their jobs. Yeah. Not in a bad way. I mean, for sure. Like they worked at Housemen's together and then they opened the dog kennel together, and like our lives are so intertwined, so I knew that's so interesting. So much about their work.

SPEAKER_02 57:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 57:08

Do you think you could work with your partner? Jason and I could work together. Yeah. Not just at any job. Like, we'd have to pick what it is. Like there are gonna be things he wouldn't thrive at that I wouldn't, vice versa. Yeah. But like if he and I wanted to start like a business together. A business together, we could do that. Interesting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 57:25

Interesting. That's like a lot of time spent together. I really love spending time with him though. Like we're that's not that's because you don't spend all day with him now. Correct. You know what I mean? Like, if you did, do you feel like it would be different?

SPEAKER_00 57:36

I don't think so. Okay. That's fair. Yeah, he's in the sense of how you and I hang out, like we don't have to be up each other's asses, but we can do activities, but we can do separate. Yeah. You would have to do separate at that point. Yeah. You spend all day at work, well not at work. Like working.

SPEAKER_01 57:51

Yeah. I'm trying to think like um Kelsey's parents worked, they own a business together. Yeah. And then they do everything together as well. I'm like, that's really a lot. They have a unique love story though, I feel like.

SPEAKER_00 58:03

I yeah. Yeah. They do. They do. Obviously they won't be. Like it's clearly worked for them, and I think that's so precious. Like and I'm gonna hear Kelsey's thoughts more on it sometime.

SPEAKER_01 58:13

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, maybe not right now. No. Well, on their love story, sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Um, but I don't know. I just like I think yeah, I think as you get older, your just like your thoughts on what the timeline looks like just completely shifts in general. Yes. So like, in even like career, relationship, even like what financial stability looks like. I mean financial in in our generation, we like it feels like we'd have no hope.

SPEAKER_00 58:41

We have no hope.

SPEAKER_01 58:41

Unless you were born into wealth.

SPEAKER_00 58:44

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 58:45

Like, it just is it feels impossible to like. We're all just scraping by.

SPEAKER_00 58:49

And we're gonna continue to scrape by. Yeah, we'll do what we can. Yep. And like some of us have learned how to rock those credit cards and credit card debt.

SPEAKER_01 58:55

Couldn't be me. When did you feel like when did you feel that money started being real to you? Like when did you feel like early on? Like when you were 16? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 59:04

I would say I got access to my bank account at 16, I think. Started using my debit card, understanding a checkbook. Like my parents made sure to teach me all the shit that like was no longer in school when the Mac was around.

SPEAKER_01 59:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 59:18

Um, it's around the time I got into sewing and understanding basics of cooking and like life, yeah, how to survive. Yeah. Yeah. But I think at the time I thought that at 36, like if I could have said to you then what 36 was gonna look like and then interview myself now, I'm happier than I thought I would be, and I'm less set up in the way my 16 to 18-year-old brain thought 36 would be. You're happier than you thought you would be. But less like like I thought it doesn't look like what you thought it would look like. Yeah, yeah. My perception was like I'm gonna be hella successful because like I've always had that drive, but that drive has turned into me like advocating for myself more.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:01

And saying, what does my body and brain need? Exactly that car.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:04

Yeah, success success looks different than we thought it would.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:07

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:08

I no longer strive to be in this great full-time job that gives that affords me no time at home.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:14

But it was paying great. Yeah. And I could pay all bills without thinking about it. Now I can't pay a single bill without thinking about it. But I feel so good about my life. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know. There's trade-offs. Is the trade-off worth it to you? Yeah. That's all that matters. Yeah. Yeah. And for where you thought you'd be, what about like where you're at now and how that stacks up?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:37

Um, I mean, I'm fortunate that I can pay my bills like on time and like not like the basics. Yeah. I'm doing okay. Yep. You know, like, and I obviously work in the nonprofit sector, so like, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:50

Enough pay to get by without being excessive. Yeah. Sure.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:53

And like, I am not someone who lives to work anyway, and like I'm I you know me, I'll quit a job. You're the one that I will quit a fucking job.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:01

You truly gave me the ability to see differently about jobs and how they are. It's just part of a system that's built to be a job. They don't care. They do not care.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:11

They will fire you, you can quit. Yep. Like, yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:14

And people at jobs, like, they're great, right? You often make like work family, friends, whatever. Um, but jobs are jobs are jobs, they support the lives we want to live. They are not our identities. Yeah. Too many people make them that without even realizing they're doing it, right? Yeah. They measure their success.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:35

Yeah.

unknown 1:01:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:36

Change it's like not a bad thing to change direction. To need to change direction. Based off of whatever it's like why ever you need to. Like it's burnout if it's just like you get laid off, whatever it's the reason is, like it's okay to course correct. You know what I mean? Like it's okay to last to need to change where you're at.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:51

Well, and if you've been feeling burnout for years and you have changed jobs, but you keep going to jobs that are like lateral moves or climbing a ladder.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:59

And you're still feeling burnt out, it's because you need to go in the other direction. You're going the wrong way. You're pushing against your body and your needs. Your values need to change. Your values need to change. Yeah. That's exactly it.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:15

Like if I don't get a job this summer, we will be broke.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:19

But someone has to be with the kids, or we have to do daycare then. True. You know? So what are what am I valuing right now? And people have preached over time, time and time again, you only get one life. You only get this time with your kids for so many seasons. You only get. So I don't know. You know what's crazy?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:39

Like, even if you had it, like those of us that still have we I have a job. Yeah. And even still, like, I don't even feel like I don't even feel financially secure all the time. Correct. So like what even what's the point? What's the point? Like, of course, you have to pay bills. So like security is one thing. But like Yes. Basic security. But what's the point? What's the point? Yeah. Like if if if the cost is losing time with your children or like the financial stress that's gonna put on you, like it's gonna be there either way.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:10

I was texting with my mom yesterday, day before, just about like how annoyed I am at so many things, right? Mm-hmm. But I think my biggest annoyance and what it came down to is I said, all for what? Like what are we doing this for? For what? For what? Literally. For literally a piece of paper that we call money and print ourselves.

unknown 1:03:28

Just print more.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:29

Guys. Like it's literally that simple. It's that simple. Just print more. Hello? This is what I said to her. All over what? Money, which is a totally made-up piece of paper to keep people working in a system that's meant to screw us all, anyways. Yeah. Yeah. Literally.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:44

And I stand by that. Yeah. And like it just is like. And it sucks because like we keep comparing ourselves with how other people are doing. And of course, like you will always find people who are doing better in the sense you'll always find people who are doing worse. But we also keep forgetting that people started. We all have different starting points, obviously. We all have like people are being fake on social media. We don't know where people are actually at. Like, you know what I mean? Like, and it just is like it is all it's all so toxic. So like incredibly. So what what are we measuring now, right? Like, so like, mm-hmm. What's the met what's our standard metric now? If we're not measuring based off of like what we what our timeline, our timeline was.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:23

Yep. Is is it a percentage of growth? Is it joy? Is it livelihood? Is it Is it joy? You can't really measure it, but like what's our standard? Measure joy. Yeah. You don't think and compare it to somebody else's? No. No, you can compare it to where you were before, though. Yes. You can only compare it to yourself. There's no metric that will allow you to compare your life to somebody else's. Yeah. There's just not.

unknown 1:04:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:51

Man, but being joyful is such a flex. You know what I mean? Like having peace. Having gratitude. Having gratitude, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:58

Like, what are the top qualities that humans should embody? Joy, peace, gratitude, humanity, humanitarianism, whatever we want to call that.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:05

Would you say stability? Stab.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:08

I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:09

Really?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:13

Because I'm kinda well, for me, I'm letting go of what I think stability is.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:16

So I guess whatever the definition of stability is for you, is what I mean. Like, I think stability looks different. Even for you and I, stability looks different.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:24

Very much. Right?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:25

I don't know how to do that.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:26

Stability when you're married and have kids versus if you're not, or if you don't have kids, like you have to be able to provide comfort to your children. And I think stability and comfort get confused.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:36

Um yeah, that's a good point.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:38

Yeah, you can lack stability, but also your kids can have zero fear about what's going to happen next. Yeah. You can have greatest stability and have children that are afraid because they never know what's around the corner. Yeah, that's true. So that's not the beacon of hope that we all think stability can be the beacon of hope. Yeah. Um the other piece when you were saying like we all start at different places, it's Really important, we were talking about the civil rights movement in class the other day. Like one of the classrooms I pushed into, they were doing a writing assignment, and it was so neat to hear them and what their thoughts are after they learned about the civil rights movement. Yeah. And um, even prior to that, I had had a conversation with another adult just about slavery was not that long ago.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:20

It it wasn't like we think it was because our timeline and our lifeline is so small. Yeah. So small. But you guys, like the span of life that people have been living is so much broader. Yeah. And it's only in real recent history that we have, I mean, there's a lot of good things that are happening with like awareness and like obviously there's been a lot of physical, emotional, verbal abuse, especially to young women, yeah, that has come to light through the last hundred years. Yeah. Um, women's voting rights, things like that. But when you think about cultural norms and especially how not so long ago slavery was in place, and you think about people who had to literally start from nothing at that point forward, and all these people that have had years of generational wealth since then, stability looks different in those circumstances too. Yeah. Like I can't compare it's the it's the pulling people up by their bootstraps argument, right? Like it is that exactly. And y'all like some of us don't even know where to fashion a boot from right now. You love that word fashion. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:23

So I just yeah, I think people people assume we're all starting at the same spot and we're just not. Because it's the year 2026, yeah, and people don't remember what was happening in the systems that were put in place for you are not the same systems that are put in place for me. Yes, yeah, exactly that.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:40

Yeah, exactly that. And we can look at our lives even between you and me and see so many similarities where we're at now. Of course, yeah. But if you go back in history, yeah, it's disproportionately advantaged towards white folks. Sure. We know that, but also then how does that change the narrative on what we value? Yeah, yeah. Because like home ownership has always been a heavy value in my world in my life, yeah. And realizing that while there is some value there, that's a choice. Yeah. Like we have chosen as a society to say that's the like pinnacle of success. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:15

Yeah. I don't know that that's a cultural thing though.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:17

Like, I don't know. No, but I would say that's that's become a societal norm more than anything, I think.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:23

Yeah, I don't know why though.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:24

But where did it come from and like why?

SPEAKER_01 1:08:26

Because it's show I mean it it looks it's wealth, right? Like it's wealth. You own look at me. Yeah, you have an asset.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:32

Isn't wealth really just saying look at me? That's exactly what it is. It's not helping the people that are like, yeah, you can buy something without having to blink, whatever. Like that helps you, but yeah, what are we really doing? It's just it's the adult version of a dick measuring competition.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:49

Mm-hmm. Yeah, it really is. I hate that for us. I hate that. I hate that for us as a society. I hate it. That's what it is. You can't you can't undo that.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:00

No, but can you dismantle it? You can't undo it literally.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:05

Do you think we you and I can we can dismantle it?

SPEAKER_00 1:09:08

In our own systems and worlds and live, sure, but like how does that start to Yeah? We're just us. We're just us.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:14

We're just like a small podcast, yeah. Doing our best to like get the word out. Yeah. Carla Carly for presidency.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:23

I don't know. Um we should have a two president system. I'm just saying. I actually don't disagree with that. Or like a like a committee.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:33

Yeah. Um yeah. Yeah. Yeah, maybe. I was well, in Hamilton. Yes. No, please. There was um up until I wanna say Thomas Jefferson. Okay. There were like the there was two people there was a two-party system, obviously. Yep. And like the president would win, like whatever party would win, and then the vice president would be the other party. I was gonna say it was different, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:09:56

Like when they didn't have their own cabinet and shit that they would bring, that's also, you know, racist or you know what I mean? Like it would it would be there'd be both parties on the in the same administration.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:06

So like why wouldn't we still do that? Because that would be helping to give power to the people, and we're afraid to do that. Because really, every every person that works for the government should be bipartisan. Like it should be. And so I don't know. I just like I can't I can't I can't even get into the politics in the game.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:24

Sorry, everything that we talk about somehow gets me back to like politics and our government because it's just so, it's such an Yeah. It is so because so long ago some wealthy white guys got together and they wrote down what our country would believe in, and it was favored towards the wealthy and the people who are in the world. And people just like aren't willing to like revisit it.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:47

Nope. That's what the craziest part about it is. Hundreds of years ago. Yep. And people like don't feel like that needs to change at all.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:55

It's like how um the national anthem we say Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Anyways, um Can I ask a serious quick question? Yeah. Um, in the United States, we do not have a dedicated um language or religion, correct? Either. Correct. Okay, I just wanted to clarify. I don't believe so. I don't believe so either. Yeah. Okay. Just wanted to make sure that was still a fact in 2026 because. You want to Google it real quick? You know. I came across, yeah, if you could Google it, I came across a page for as much as I get a bunch of like um more like less conservative content, every now and again, some conservative content pops up on my platforms. And I'll go down that road, I'll entertain it, I'll take a peek. Um, I need to say that this particular organization that I was looking at, I have never seen such a gross display of religious power. Um I'm trying to pick my words carefully. Um I've never seen a whiter group of people. I've never seen a whiter group of people. And I've seen some white people, you know?

SPEAKER_01 1:12:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:15

Um, I've been in these groups of white people. Like there has never been less diversity than this particular organization that decided to go on the college campus of a local college towards West Michigan. Um, and a lot of white white folks showed up um sporting their year. I'm sure. I'm sure. Mm-hmm. I and I know college campuses, like some of the college campuses around here have religious backing. Like, sure. That's just what they are. I went to one. Yeah. Even the ones that don't, people were like critiquing them for why did you let this organization come on campus? And then like others. You have to. You have to. Yeah. I will never forget when we at Central had our first, I think we talked about the sextable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, a sexual health and awareness festival. We called it a sextable. We had to bring the those opposing everything the pro-life folk with their pictures. Um, and we did ask them like, please cover it up. Because like, unless someone consents to seeing that, yeah, it's not okay to bring that into any any kind of propaganda material. But um, yeah, I was wrong.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:27

You were wrong? Okay, tell me. English is the official language of the United States. It was designated as the official language of the United States in the executive order on March 1, 2025. Got it.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:39

That was when the Gulf of Mexico became Was it? I assume. Um what do they call it now?

SPEAKER_01 1:13:44

The Gulf of America. I don't know. But the president, and that was the president in 2025, which we all know who that was, signed an executive order making English the official language of the United States. Huh. That's really crazy. Yo, that happened? I like did not know that. I didn't realize that happened.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:04

Is this the whitest, most racist government we have ever had? Actually, like a really racist thing. That's so incredibly like telling me.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:14

What happened to the melting pot?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:18

Like that's been on a long time. For the last couple years, actually. I did not know that. That to promote unity.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:28

To promote unity, cultivate a shared American culture for all citizens. A shared American culture ensure consistency in government operations and create a pathway to civic engagement. It is in America's best interest and for for the federal federal government to designate one and only one official language. Establishing English as the official language will not only streamline communication but also reinforce shared national values and create a more cohesive and efficient society.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:59

If you want to dedicate like a specific language, don't say you're backing it up by saying you want to have cohesion amongst. So you want to basically say your language that you speak in the only language you speak, sir. Yeah. Um, is now the official language of a nation that you are doing a piss poor job leading? Huh. I really, I did not know that that happened. That actually makes me sick to my stomach. I mean, to be fair though, how how much do we all discredit it to like forget that that happened or not know that that happened? Like I mean I have a lot more research to be doing. My thoughts. But I won't say them on podcast. What about a there is no official religion. Okay. I just want to repeat that. There is no official religion in the US of A.

unknown 1:15:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:50

The first yeah, you can't. The First Amendment would prohibit that. Like you said, freedom of speech.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:55

You couldn't do that. There's probably an argument saying the First Amendment would prohibit having a national language, too, but I would actually make that you could argue make that argument for sure.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:05

That's a good point. No, well, no, because you could you're allowed to speak, I guess. You're allowed to speak whatever language. In the same way, you're allowed to practice whatever religion. That's really I did not know that. That kind of makes me feel icky. That makes me really, really sick to my stomach. That makes me feel icky. Okay. I need to I have to do it. Yeah, sorry. My bad. My bad. So I don't even know what we were talking about now.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:27

We were talking about success, what that looks like in middle-aged, where we thought we would be, how the world is now. I mean, the world has changed drastically from when we were 16, 17, and 18. We saw things through starry eyes, through like the lens of where we were living at the time, through our parents, our family, our friends, who you and I know we've kept like we've cut out, we've trimmed the fat. We've trimmed the fat. We've trimmed the fat. Kept the good ones. Kept the good ones. The bad ones had to go. Yeah. Speaking of the good ones, our good Judy.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:59

Our good Judy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keelan.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:01

I'm bringing it.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:01

I'm bringing it. Keelan. Our resident therapist.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:04

Yes, you dropped some truth bombs, and I would like to read the statement that Keelan put on the podcast on YouTube. So we talked about last week.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:14

It was on the episode last week. We talked about um how important how we were losing hope or having struggling to find joy.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:24

While also simultaneously losing hope in the human race. Yeah. Um, and here's what Keelan said. Okay, therapist Keelan is going to come out here. Humans are very capable of holding immense tragedy and immense joy at the same time. It can feel uncomfortable to do that, but joy is resistance. If we lose our ability to feel joy, we lose hope. And if we lose hope, we lose our ability to resist. Keep shedding light on the darkness and keep being the light. It is so necessary in times like these. Yeah. Yeah. So I like that. I think we've heard a lot lately too of like two things can be true. Yeah. I think holding space for both things.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:05

Yeah. Or or three things or four things, right? Um, the sky can be blue and it can be a shitty day for somebody. Yeah. Those things can both be true.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:14

I think people have using been using a lot of um narrative to discredit that lately. Like, well, look at this. And how does that compare to this? Like you have to pick a side, but you don't. You you can have multiple things that you hold in your heart to be true at the same time. Yeah. You can be a good person and you can fight what's happening, and you can have joy and you can have immense sadness and you can be feeling it all at once.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:39

Yeah. That's so interesting. Yeah. Yeah. That um actually we'll talk about it later. Yeah. Yeah. Like we're like running over time here. Sorry, my bad. No, you're fine. You're fine. Um we're doing great. Okay, good. We're at like one and a half. Oh, perf. Shout out too. Yeah. Um I will just say this then. Uh part of my therapy session was about grief, which is like why I I know I told you we had like a Yes. Um and how I've just been like in it lately just because of it's just like I don't know why. Things, everything. You know how it is. And one new grief can trigger an old grief. Yeah. Exactly that. Um, and uh so that that what Keelan said really, really resonated with me because I've I I just been feeling kind of guilty about finding joy when like I I just feel like I should still be grieving. Like at all times there should still be grief. And like it's just I don't know, just does does that make sense?

SPEAKER_00 1:19:32

Like just being so guilty about like But I think when you smile, it's not that you've forgotten the grief, it's that you're setting it aside for a minute so you can remember why you're living. Yeah, that's all it is. Now, if you're only experiencing joy right now and you haven't taken a minute to acknowledge that there are reasons to not be feeling just joy right now, too, if you're just like headstrong that everything is perfect and you're not acknowledging, that's a whole different thing, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:20:02

It's like a different issue.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:03

Yeah, yeah. But if you're if you're able to say, I know, I know, I'm sorry. I I also have been like thinking, like, I had a nice cry about my dad the other day. Yeah, you know, yeah, and like tis the season to get sad about deceased parents, it just is. Yep. Um, and we can cry about that and cry about the world and still smile because something adorable happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But I think we need to make sure we're doing all the above and not just one of the things squishing it down or acting like things are peachy keen or whatever. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:37

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:39

So you you process that a little bit this week too, and the grief aspect of it. Yeah. And at some point I know we want to talk a little bit more about grief in general, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:20:46

Yeah, it's just like a hard thing to talk about because like I know everybody deals with grief, and like I don't want to, I don't want this podcast to be sad every week. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 1:20:56

And like we should be hold space to laugh and to cry and to like we could do just a simply fun episode next week and then do a grief episode the following. Yeah, that's true. You know, and that could be how we hold space for both. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. But I I love laughing as much as I like need crying, and vice versa. So and I think my depression medication has been doing a real damn good job lately. Could be called compression meds. Yeah, yes. And I I had a nice cry the other day, and I'm like, oh my god, I feel tears. I can cry. I do have emotion. My dosage isn't too high.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:38

Oh okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:40

But the joy, the joy in the little things car, I think that's what we gotta hunt for while we still have grief from personal, you know, in personal spaces and while we hold grief for fellow humans. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And there's space for both. And there's space. Yeah. So with that, I say we wrap this up this week. Yeah? Wait, can I do my would you rather? Hell yes, you can do a would you rather? Okay. Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:11

Oh gosh, there's multiple. One is like, I just think it's a good one. Okay, let's do it. Would you rather lose the ability to taste food? You know us, we love food. Oh my god, I love food. What's what's the other? Um lose the ability to hear music. Oh. You love music. Shit. Yeah. Is there ever have has there ever been a harder one? No.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:40

Okay, hold on. I'm already weighing the pros and cons. If if I can't taste food, then at least I could eat healthier. Oh, good point. Without like, come on, skinny queen. Right? If I can't taste it, it's gonna be bland anyways, I'll just eat and help. I'm eating broccoli, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:54

Yeah, but then I can hear music, which is like great. There's not a world where I feel like I can I I I don't have music anymore. That's like that's a hard one to cut out.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:04

So I tried creating the argument on the other side, and it's not as strong, which is if I taste food, I could enjoy that, but then instead of hearing music, I could feel the beat, like turn it up loud enough to feel it. But I don't think that that would give me as much pleasure.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:19

Yeah, because the lyrics mean something to me. They do. And like the the melody and all that mean something to me too. Yeah. So I found my answer. Yeah, I'd rather not be. I think that was really easy, yeah. Yeah. You made that super easy.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:29

Yeah. Yeah. Cause like I can come up with perks, you know. If I can come up with perks, then I got my answer. Yeah, you'd be a healthy bitch. Eating like healthy shit. Not tasting it anyways. Can I still smell it? That's like a question. Smell and taste go hand in hand. I was just gonna say that exact same thing. But it basically be like a loss of taste buds, essentially. I'm fine with that. Yeah. I had COVID. I didn't lose my taste when I had COVID, though. Yeah. Which like I wish I had. I don't think I had either. That would have been nice. Would have been real cool. Could have been easier to answer this. Okay. Anyways, um That's a good one. Okay. So you're losing the ability to. Okay. Yep. Good answer, Car. Thank you. Weigh in if you have other thoughts or like see something we're not seeing. Maybe someone who's sensitive to sound or doesn't appreciate music as much would be like, whatever.

unknown 1:24:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:21

But if you're not appreciating music.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:23

I went on a date with someone who did not like music. Isn't that crazy? What? More than one date, actually. Maybe like four years ago. Trying to know what their name was. Let me pick my job. Isn't that crazy? And like that's just a mismatch for me.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:35

Like that's a huge mismatch.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:37

That'd be like, oh my gosh. Yeah. That was never gonna work. No. It's really hot though.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:44

Really, really hot. There's always like one toxic trait of every real hot person. That's a big one. But thank you for asking that. I needed to end on comedic. I took us way dark again this weekend, some things. I'm so sorry if it's me that's like bringing out a lot of sad.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:04

It's the administration.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:05

It's the administration. It is. Yeah. I'm not kidding. It really is. No, it really is. Yeah. An evil person. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:12

I'm sorry. Thank you so much. Love that. We're tuning into episode 58, right? Yeah. Of Make It to Wednesday, a Hump Day Podcast. We are your hosts. I'm Carly. And I'm Carla. If you like what we're doing here, free to give us a big old thumbs up. Follow us on all of our social media. We have TikTok, we have Instagram, we have Facebook. We do not have Twitter. We do have an email though. Email us at makeittoWedsayPod at gmail.com. Visit us on our website at makeittoWednesday.com. We might have some fun things coming on our website. Carly has an idea. I have a business idea.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:48

I'm gonna sit with it another week.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:51

Yeah, we might share soon. We'll see. We might we will share soon. Feel free to leave us a um comment or um on all of our social media. Uh what is it saying? I just lost my thought.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:06

You can go to YouTube, you can comment there too.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:08

I love reading comments on our YouTube. Give us a big thumbs up on the YouTube videos. Um give us a five-star review on Apple Podcast, Apple Podcasts, Spotify Podcast, anywhere you enjoy our podcast. Um follow us on No, I said all that. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:22

You know what? Just come support us. And most importantly, what you should share our shit. SOS. SOS. SO MOTHING S. And vote for us for president if if we ever run.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:34

If we ever run. But we'd be running together. We would be. And also like, I feel like you're on the same side of history as us if you watch this podcast. So like we'd be uh we'd be we'd be for you. We're for the people. We're for the people. Yeah, we're regular folk. Just keep that in mind. Um, we would be back next week for episode 59. Yes, we wait. Yeah. Oh no, okay. Oh there's one episode I'm waiting for, one fun fact I'm waiting for for a certain year that's coming up. Yeah, yeah. It's in 10 weeks. Okay. Ten weeks from next week. Ten weeks from 1969. I'm really excited about it.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:12

I'm gonna have to do some deep diving and figure out what you want.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:14

It's gonna be so obvious. Oh, okay, good. Good. There's just like a song that goes along with it.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:18

Oh, yes. Thanks for following along for the history facts, too. Yeah, we really appreciate it. That's so fun for me. I'm really interested. So much fun. It's been honestly the highlight of every pod for me thus far.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:30

So fun. Okay. We'll be back next week for episode 59 of Make It to Wednesday, a hump day podcast. See you then. Bye.