From Where to Here
A video podcast exploring cultural exchange, languages, & identity. 🌍 Hosted by Alexandra Lloyd, celebrating diversity & fostering connection through powerful conversations.
From Where to Here
E13 From Damascus to Alabama: A Muslim Woman’s Journey of Faith & Freedom
When Yumna "Yumi" Yassin left Damascus at age 13, she had no idea what life in Alabama would hold. From learning English and building friendships to navigating faith, identity, and belonging as a Muslim woman in the South. Her story is one of courage, reflection, and heart.
In this episode of From Where to Here, host Alexandra Lloyd sits down with Yumi to explore:
- What it felt like to move from Syria to the U.S. during the war
- How she found her voice learning a new language
- The emotional connection between Arabic and identity
- Her honest take on faith, hijab, and misconceptions about Islam
- How culture shows up through food, family, and friendship
Yumi opens up about feeling caught between two worlds, honoring her roots while shaping her own path. Her warmth and insight remind us that faith and culture aren’t boxes to fit in, they’re bridges that connect us all.
🎧 Tune in for a powerful, human story about language, faith, and finding home, wherever you are.
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Sponsor Spotlight: Birmingham Breadworks
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This episode is brought to you by Birmingham Breadworks. They have been serving up artisan sourdough, European-style pastries, and scratch-made meals since 2014. With a focus on fresh, preservative-free ingredients, their spacious, light-filled café is a local favorite. They’re also committed to sustainability, proudly holding a Gold Level Earth Aware Team (E.A.T.) certification. Stop by for handmade bread, sandwiches, and house-roasted coffee in a space that feels like home!
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hi I'm Alexandra Lloyd a French Canadian who's called Birmingham Alabama home since 2,017 welcome to from where to here the podcast that celebrates the rich diversity of languages cultures in the stories that connect us all each month I'll sit down with inspiring guests from different backgrounds to explore their cultures languages and tackle some fun in our truth or dare or debunk segment whether you're a language enthusiast a culture lover or just curious about the world you're in the right place let's dive into your next favorite cultural adventure today I'm so excited to welcome my guest Yumna Yassin thought you might hear me call her Yumi she was born in Damascus Syria and made the big move to the United States back in 2,014 Yumi recently graduated from UAB with a degree in Digital Marketing and she brings such a rich perspective as someone who's fluent in Arabic confident in English and has navigated the journey of learning adapting and fitting in as an immigrant today we'll dive into her story of language identity and the real life UPS and downs of building friendships love and belonging Yumi thank you so much for being here today thank you for having me here today I'm very excited yes I am too you have a very interesting story uh that I got to hear while it we just didn't see the time fly and we're talking for much longer than I even thought we would um so I know we have a lot of good things to cover today and I'd like to just dive in with you and start at the beginning you said you were 13 when your dad decided to move your whole family from Damascus to Birmingham Alabama what do you remember about that time what was it like landing in Alabama yes and I still remember that day very good and I still remember what I was wearing as well oh yeah yes I was wearing a dark jeans with a um like a tank top and it was blue too um the moment he told us that we're coming to America first I thought he was joking I didn't take it serious until I saw the passport in my hand and I'm like oh we're literally leaving Syria um I wasn't sure what I was expecting all I know I didn't want to leave back then because I was even though there was a war and some conflicts but I was happy like my life was good I had a house that I really loved friends that I really loved and I had a really big family so me knowing that I'm coming to a different country is like a new start and I'm not sure what to expect so I was scared and just a little sad but I remember the day I landed here the first thing I spotted is how big the place was um because America as America like flying over it was really big huge and Syria is I think smaller than Alabama so like I came from a tiny place to a huge place and then the moment I landed at the airport the amount of diversity I saw within the 5 10 minutes I just was walking around it was crazy for me cause in Syria like I'm around Syrians or Arabs for the majority but here I saw almost everyone you know like I saw Asians I saw a lot of women I saw I saw so many different type of people and I'm just looking like wow like all of these people at once in one place it was crazy but I was still nervous and I just hearing noises but I wasn't understanding anybody cause you couldn't speak the language no I couldn't I I knew like hello how are you maybe how to count and that was it for me that must have been disorienting yes it was it was more of like isolating because you're just looking and kind of like your only way of understanding is your eyes and that's it everything else you have not you can't speak and you can't really listen like you're hearing noise was it your dad that spoke the language at the time to none of us no how did how did you navigate that coming here we always ask like helper and then when we hear like you know my aunt helped my dad for the most part but none of us really speak good English even my dad he was speaking like a very basic like he knew how to get himself out of things but he didn't really speak the language was it your dad's work that brought you yeah so my dad start working in America at a very young age I think like right when he got married and my parents got married young he was like coming here and going back all his life um so that's why it was an easy um travel for me because he made it all legally he already had like a good history here so you know the background check all went smooth very smooth so we didn't really struggle coming to America it was a very very smooth process and that's interesting you said I only have my eyes to kind of connect with people yes and the first thing you said was I even remember what I was wearing that just shows how strong your visual yeah your visual sense was so strong at that time especially yes and when you don't speak the language it get even stronger because you're kind of trying to so you're hearing a word you don't know what I mean but you also looking what people are doing after they say the word you know like I remember one of the very first word I heard when I was in like my day two or three in school somebody say go get it I didn't know what it that mean but I saw the girl running behind the ball and I assumed that that mean like go get the ball and so I was like looking cause I wanna understand what's going on and your eyes is your best bet to to use when you're not speaking anything you don't know what it is you just have to use your only tool I'll say I didn't speak English when you got here but you were learning French yes instead what was it like starting over in a language you didn't know and actually okay so the the school system in Syria you do have to pick a language like English or French and I was going based off what my friends were picking and I think they picked French because it's easier to learn and it's closer to Arabic I don't know how we came up with that but we just decided that it's closer to us so we picked it but even when I picked the French I knew that when you learn any language in school they're really don't teach you to speak it more of like you get familiar with the language and some grammars and things and I was excited to learn French because French always sounds very like cool to me um but I didn't know that I wish I picked English at least knowing a couple phrases to use would have helped I had zero clue that one day I'm gonna make it out of Syria it came like within one months my dad said we're leaving and he actually we we were like you know we sold the house and we actually left and that was to me like wow you had no preparation for anything you just came like so but I I do love French um and in fact when I came here I still picked French and I was learning French in English and it was funny people always laughed like why did you pick French cause I've liked it like I wanna speak it hopefully I'll get get back to that too yeah have you had a chance to practice it do you get to practice your French trying to keep what you've Learned not really but that was me lacking and I think the thing that even make you keep up with the language is if you watch a lot of TV shows or if you listen to music and sometimes I do try to listen to French to remember or to be like oh I know this word that's my way of connecting with the language um but you know people here mostly speak Spanish and I I've never thought of speaking Spanish too so you know society plays a role like I feel like in real life you will see a lot of people who will speak French than Spanish that's that is a good point I like that you're opening your horizon to different languages it's just that you never know where you're gonna land and turns out for you it took a a drastic shift in a direction you didn't expect it to go no and it's crazy because sometimes you pick blindly like you pick based off oh like you don't pick out of seriousness yeah how I'm gonna use this for future you just pick I like the sound of this I'm just gonna use it you know but you really never know what next for you and you once said uh touching back on Arabic you once said Arabic is a very emotional language and you even describe yourself as being an emotional person what do you mean by that and how does it shape how you express yourself yes I love Arabic and I like the sound of Arabic I think it's very poetic like to me Arabic when you listen Arabic for so long it it touches your heart not enough because I speak that language and it's what I started with but to me Arabic bring the tender part of me the soft part of me I feel like I'm more naked when I speak Arabic you're more naked yes hahaha but when I speak English I'm definitely a lot more structured and more organized because I'm aware what I'm I'm saying in English because my brain when I'm speaking English kind of um organize my thoughts and like I have a better structure but in Arabic I'm speaking myself like a lot of time I don't have to think it just comes so that's where the emotions comes because you don't really organize your emotions they come out as of you speaking or you're seeing something you you you know but when what when it comes to English I'm thinking about it before I say it and that's why to me Arab is more like this is me like when I speak Arabic I'm more myself and also people say my voice changes when I speak Arabic and I think that's because I'm more real so you even my voice is more real in Arabic we're gonna get to hear your voice in Arabic during your truth or a dare or debunk segment so I look forward to that yeah and I think people who speak two different languages most of most of them experience the same thing like they experience a different personality in them when they speak a different language yeah I I can see some of that playing along when I speak French I definitely get mad and more emotional in French so I can see that part it's interesting it blends in and then context plays a big role obviously when you said naked do you is this a metaphor to say you feel really raw in terms of your whole being being raw to what it is or literally naked no no no raw like the vision not me yeah yeah yeah um so for me when I speak I'm as a person like as you Yumi I'm a very um like I'll say not a mess person but I'm I speak my mind immediately I don't really organize myself and the thing when I speak English it help me structure myself because I have to think about putting the sentence together to speak it right so it give so that's what add up to my character when I speak English my brain kind of in a process of you know organize your sentence and then say it but in Arabic I've always just the the thought comes I say it and a lot of time I don't even think what I said it comes out whether it's right or wrong whether I should say it or not um just whatever like my brain I speak it out immediately and that's how you know like this is me me like if we're in a argument or if I'm explaining something whatever hits my mind I'm just gonna speak it but in English it's more of like and that's because I've had to learn to speak the language so I've had to learn to organize my sentence so it also add up to my character when I speak English I'm more organized in my thoughts than Arabic yeah so that's why I'm more raw like I'm more of here I say my mind here I'm more aware of what I'm speaking yes that's interesting and you are very well spoken oh thank you in English I don't know about Arabic cause I don't speak the language but I can yes uh you are very very well spoken thank you when you passed the ESL test which is the English as a second language you said you felt guilty you mentioned some of that almost like you were cheating because you were safe while others were not can you talk about that moment and how it shaped you how you are today yes so before I came here I had a very very strong like bond with my friends in Syria and I used to call them my sisters um they're really close to me like we live we I know them for 20 years now we still talk until this day um so me leaving knowing that they're in a dangerous place that when I also moved here a lot of time we won't go to school because of how intense the bombs was and everything and me coming here I have no idea how I passed I think I passed based on my grades back when I was in Syria and Lebanon they looked at my grades and subjects and they were like oh you you yes you don't speak a good language but I think we you can work yourself out we don't want you to hold back a grade or anything um so I saw myself like going up especially with my cousins and my little sister they all um stayed in that class and I was the only one to make it out so it made me feel like even in America in this school I have to keep going by myself like my cousins and my sister stayed together but I had to make it out as well so I've always like ugh this is like sad it's meant to be that I'm isolated for a little while um so they always stayed in my mind cause I talk to them at least once a week and I know that they were it was really tough for them and we'll talk about the food and things and I feel like everything is available for me you know resources school yes I was having my own struggles but I feel like their struggles are a lot more intense like I know that I'm gonna get somewhere better but they don't know what they're facing so that made me feel like we're from the same place we grew up together but I see a future for myself but I'm not sure if they see a future so it made me don't wanna share that like every time I hit a milestone or I feel successful I kind of wanna keep it to myself I don't wanna share it because I don't I know they're gonna feel happy for me but at the same time it's like I don't wanna kill their hope and I don't wanna feel like I'm moving forward with my life and they're behind me so it's always it's always gonna be there um now it's a lot better thank god and by the way they all graduated too so yay that's great so they are able to seek opportunities for themselves yes even living in yes Damascus and that one made me like proud of them too because they we you know I've had my struggle they've had their struggles but they're different like the intense they have to face is a lot different than mine um so yeah it's always when you have a real love and real connect with people it's always hard to see them like in danger but you're making it out you know it's always like yes you're eating well you're living your life but you kinda don't wanna share it because you don't want them to feel sad and like left behind not because they don't wanna I think they're you know they love me too so I know they're happy for me yeah is it common in Damascus Syria or in Syria as a whole to have limited opportunities and is it mostly for women or is it what you previously experienced what you've seen your your sisters your friends experience as far as opportunities I think it's limited because of the economy um not because we're like woman and men um now and that varies from family to family and that's something I realized about Syria you find like a the household where the parents are very open and then they allow their kids to go experience life and other family they're very close like it's funny but I have two best friends in Syria and I love them so much they're lean and Fadia so lean her family say hi hi so lean her family was pretty much like my family pretty open like we go like um school trips everything together we will go out of school together all the time but Fadia her her parents were very very protective of her so we would not like I've always begged her to come to a school trip but her parents will never allow her even though she had like one of the best life like her parents were really loving of her but they were like extra protective so they have to be there when she's she's out and I get it like also we were in a war and some people are more attached to their kids or some people look at it different than others so like you see one family they kind of like you know let their kids go experience and other family like no we wanna stay with you no matter what and that's like how things go over there and then opportunities is based on economy most of the time because there's no law or anything that tell woman do not work or stay home or you know OK OK there's not that no OK at least not in Damascus I don't know about Syria in general but in Damascus there's no such a law like uh because some of my aunts worked and some didn't like my mom never worked outside of her house she was always been in the house but I have like three four aunts that they actually worked to what would they do for work um I have one she had a like a boutique where she sell clothes and I had another one um she was doing like hair stuff like hairdresser yeah um and I think um one of them was also a coach at like a not a gym more of like a lifetime like more of a club where there's multiple things to do like tennis and gym and and I think she used to work there as well okay cool yeah lifetime is our our gym that we actually both go but have never seen each other there this is wild yes um okay there's a couple of things I want to touch base on that you mention one the war how just so people can put it back in perspective which war was it um how long did it last so the Syria the Syria war it's known as a civil war so it happened between the people and the government where people start asking for a government switch like we wanted a different president and he just wanted to stay on the seat and that's when things got intense and it all started in 2,011 when people were like you know our economy is really bad the poor rate you know it got crazy like people have no opportunities there you know the money is never enough and we're just it wasn't a fair at all um so people were like you know we need a change and in even though Syria labeled itself as a free country but technically we're never allowed to speak up against the government period so the moment people start to go out and ask for things even though it was very innocent like people were literally just going on out to streets and saying we want a change the government didn't like that and you know they start their traditional thing of bombing and killing people and whoever speak up they're going to prison and it lasted until last year so it's been it's been 15+ years I think and during that time you will never know when a bombing like a bombing of some sort they kind of do it mostly to torture people too like you said you don't want me to be here okay this is where you're gonna live and he said that live on TV that we're gonna live hell because we said we don't want him to be a president now I only lived three years because it started in 11 and I left in like 13 almost 14 so I didn't live like I lived three years but other people lived the whole thing like from 11 until 2023 when you know it all got better mm hmm yes and thank you for that you mentioned also Lebanon so you spent some time in Lebanon can you expand on that journey that was before you came to the US correct yes so because of um Syria technically we were under a dictator and with such a government countries outside won't work with him so basically even if you wanna leave Syria to go to another country you can't technically do that because um Syria was kind of isolated um and because of the president like he were not listening to anybody so they isolated us as a country so if you wanna do any legal work you have to go to another country and Lebanon was the country that we picked um first because the airport was destroyed back then so you really can't use any airplane to move out of Damascus and Lebanon or Turkey there were the two options since you can drive to them and we went to Lebanon we stayed there for six months because paperwork you know takes time and we're seven they have to do seven of your family yeah so mom dad and we're five like five kids yeah so we are seven so you know they have to run the background check for every single person and you have to do all the paperwork and for some reason and also I have two brothers and you know you have to make sure they're all set up too for their age and like did they finish the army thing and you know for their what like for the army for the school system all of that so they have to run a full background check and I think the older the harder it gets when it comes to background check but it all went smooth it just took a good time like it took six months so I stayed we stayed there in Lebanon and it was it wasn't a bad experience but you know we were just in the unknown like what next but I've also met some good friends there and it was like it wasn't the best experience but I would love to go back to Lebanon and experience it in a different way totally yes that would be such an experience for you to go back there but with such a new outlook on life and just more baguette not stressed yeah and I would love to go back to Lebanon Lebanese people are like they're different I like them in what ways what's the doubt to you um they're different you know they we speak the same Arabic but their tongue is different and normally what we call it like normally they're known for being the cute okay when they speak Arabic cause they're Arabic especially for females um it makes them like you know like you speak Lebanese people get excited because they have like this cute accent people like it's it's very elegant they're a very elegant accent is the country in French called Liban mm hmm you know yes yes Liban OK yeah I think the French really love Lebanon because they do every time something bad happened in in Lebanon they wanna help Lebanon is a really elegant it's a baby country in Middle East but it's like the elegant one for being elegant you know they they're the one who speak English and French like if you meet Lebanese people they speak English and French their their culture is very rich so we actually got to experience some uh Lebanese food my husband is really good friend with someone who has some Lebanese yes family so he's partly Lebanese I can't remember if any of them speak French I have to ask next time and that's something that separate them from most Arabs is that Lebanese known for like was in one sentence they they speak the French and the English and the Arabic yeah anyway always sometimes we make a joke of it because you like when you hear them say it be like oh you're from Lebanon yeah like for example they would say Salu Sefa and then they say something in Arabic or in English you're like oh hi haha that's hi how are you yes OK so the question which I feel like now I kind of know the answer but I'm gonna ask anyway do you feel more yourself in Arabic or English or does it depend on who you're with I think as far as myself in Arabic um because I know how to express myself better in Arabic um but also lately uh English is is becoming I've noticed that now when I journal I journal in Arabic but lately I noticed that I start to add some English to it and that's mean that my my brain also start to like adapt English without thinking too much and to me that's like a good sign like I'm more in tune right now with English than I was um but I think Arabic will always it will always make me like feel different yeah especially that I like I like the sound of Arabic too I really love Arabic and I think I'm blessed that I speak that language um because there's like the different accents and I kind of play a game with it too like I know if someone from Egypt like I I know just the moment they say a sentence or two I'm like yeah I know where you're from you don't have to say because I'm very like in tune with Arabic so I kind of know if somebody speak Arabic I'm like you're from Morocco you're from Egypt you're from Lebanon I know like immediately so there's different dialects different yes or there's even different dialects within the same country so like people from Damascus they speak completely different than people from Aleppo and we're both Syrians and what's a a key aspect of that dialect let's say that represent Egypt well or Lebanon so that you your ear can detect it the way they talk they have specific words too like Egyptian is one of the thing I really love like when I love Egyptian too because Egyptians makes me smile immediately first they talk so fast so a lot of time I can't keep up like they talk fast and they're funny like even when they're mad a lot of time I say like when I see an Egyptian person mad and they talk I it makes me more like laughing than I'm like oh I'm mad with you too cause they have their own way of talking and it's very very cool um and I think Egyptian like in history it's been there forever like Egypt always been in history you know like old old time ago so their language is rooted um and I will say Egyptians to me they're the funny ones like I really like and I know how to say it a little like but I don't embarrass myself because around Egyptians is kind of hard to to try they will spot me they know I'm not um but I really understand it well and I think that's also because the amount of TV shows and cartoons and things you watch as a kid growing up and I kind of like watch everything so I would like listen to Lebanese songs and also watch this Egyptian movie and always watching Syrian TV shows so that also make me know like when you speak from yeah you're from you don't have to tell me where you're from bro I know so you've had a really good exposure to all these dialects growing up yes like because I've always asked how we we call it all Arabic but also every every single country has their own words of Arabic and I'm like how we understand all of this like how a Syrian person meet an Egyptian person we technically say in two different words but we still understand like for example in Syria we say a word that means good like I'm good but in Egypt they will say something else that mean I'm good but how do I know that you know like how did where did we learn it and I think the only way I'll think about it is because of TV shows and songs I think that's what make you know because we don't learn it like I'm not sitting in my house learning this is how Egyptians speak but the moment I meet an Egyptian person I know what they're saying oh that's pretty cool yeah I really love that I love how well versed you are and all the dialects the dialects that tie into your primary language really and even more cause you're you know some French and obviously English very well yeah that's very cool so I wanna switch gears and talk about other topics that um I think are very dear to your heart and that are part of you know your your culture your the way you express yourself even you're a Muslim woman but you've shared that you don't wear the hijab and that people have judged you for it can you talk about how you navigate faith and the way you express it yes hijab as a Muslim woman is one of the most judgmental thing that a woman will experience because there's two societies that are judging me so when I say I'm Muslim people who are Muslim their first expression ever is like but you're not wearing the hijab and then the other side be like you don't have to wear the hijab and for me it's like I think people misunderstand the concept of hijab and I think they don't really need to judge people um and that's something I've struggled with a lot even back in Syria like it's not just here in America even growing up in Syria I had friends who if I'm not wearing the hijab they will choose not to walk with me um and people here they make me like a bad Muslim because I'm not wearing the hijab and I I think they misunderstand the concept of the hijab and the reason why Islam ask a woman to wear the hijab I think the main reason if I understood it correctly is that you wear the hijab to protect yourself as a woman um but not to make you a better Muslim and I think that's when people miss the point so technically you cover up because you're trying to cover you as a woman like so people like mainly I think for men to not hurt you or damage you or you know I think that's the concept of wearing it but it's not people take it as it makes you closer to god and I think that's not the point of it the point of it is more of Protection for a woman than if you're wearing the hijab that mean you're a better Muslim that mean you know god more and that's where I feel sad all the time like you judge me immediately without knowing me and knowing how strong of a relationship I have with my god you just assume because there is one piece I'm not wearing and that makes me like kind of like you know don't judge too fast because you don't know sometimes people cover up but they're not following the right things and some people some woman are not wearing the hijab but them dressing a certain way it's not really because they're trying to get attraction sometimes people express themselves in the way they dress up you know like I like colors and I wear colors based how I feel that day and I think that's my own way of telling the world I'm happy or I'm sad you know um and but people don't like those connections and what I've realized also in our community is that they're ready to make people wrong you know like they wait for you they wait for you so they can kick you out and to me that's comes out of fear like they want you to fear god so bad and I think that's just wrong it makes you don't want to learn about god not the other way and I think actually Islam never teaches you that way because if god himself tell you choose and then we will like god is the only one who has the right to judge you in Islam then you as a woman can't come to me as a woman and tell me you're doing wrong or you're not being good enough sure and that's the thing about the hijab like for me I've always respected that if you wanna wear it wear it and I always say in Islam it is one of the requirements like I've never denied it but I also say if I'm not wearing it it doesn't make me less of a Muslim and it doesn't make me less of a woman who actually care for herself and her morality amen that was very well said yeah yeah it doesn't hmm that that's powerful what you said like it doesn't diminish you as a woman who believes in your god by wearing or not wearing it but it doesn't diminish you by wearing it what is the Protection that you're referring to what is this supposed to give you Protection of I think mainly mainly men because if you think of the concept of the hijab so for example let's say I am wearing the hijab around you I don't have to wear it but around your husband I would have to wear it so essentially I have to cover myself around men who are not a part of my family like I don't have to wear it around my dad or my brothers or my cousins but I would have to wear it around strangers and I think the main concept of the hijab is not technically just the cover is also the way you dress because if you're wearing the hijab you also have to wear to wear white clothes less makeup so basically try to not present yourself in your beauty like keep your beauty to your household I think that's what it is but when you go outside you still have to look clean smell good I think that's the main point so it's kind of protect you so men don't try to like get on you or tell you like comments like you're sexy or things that make you think of that um I think that's the main concept why you would have to wear it in Islam and that's why I said people immediately make me a bad Muslim woman because oh I'm not wearing that mean I want all of this and I'm like no that's not what it is I'm not wearing it because of that um but you know this is something I've Learned a lot most of religious people especially in Islam is that they take it out of fear like oh you don't fear god enough or you don't care about rules enough and I always say that relationship with god is different like relationship with god is based on intentions and feelings but rules is meant to protect you in general like why god for example in Islam say don't drink alcohol or don't eat pork I don't think he's playing a game with us I really think he knows that these are not really good for your body so it's a source of Protection so technically these rules came for the person himself but I think true religion is what you do to society I think that's what god wants more like for me if I'm not drinking or eating it's for me you know it's for me protect my me protect myself take my body make sure my mind is in a good state but I think having moralities is that what you strength through relationship with god and his people because when you make sure you're not lying you're not being a hypocrite when you make sure you help people who are need you're technically helping things that god created too and I think that also what shrinks your relationship with god it's not just fear I think um the thing that I've always witnessed and I tried to get myself out of religion is that they want you to fear god and that's it like if you don't do something he's gonna hurt you sure and that's where I'm like no maybe look at it in a different way like you pray with god technically to talk to him not because if you don't pray something bad is gonna happen to you you know no that's your talk like that's your conversation with god like I'm praying I'm asking him things or I'm telling him something um it's always the fear in Islam and growing up it's always how hard you fear god that's a good Muslim interesting that's an interesting perspective and I've hated that growing up okay would you mind telling us for anyone listening how is this introduced as a kid early on those different principles when are you introduced to those and what does it look like so that then you continue to nurture that religion into your life in the way that the Quran says yes so things I've witnessed at least in my family but I also witnessed with my friends and society in general is that they kind of always ready to punish you not to reward you so for example let's say you don't pray instead of telling you if you pray you're gonna like get this or we're gonna give to you this or we're going out for this if you don't pray you're gonna stay in your in your room all day or if you don't fast you're not gonna watch TV it's always that if you don't do something then we're not gonna give you something and instead of let's do this and then you're gonna get rewarded for doing this and I think that's what makes in their mind too and a lot of time I I see it in my family and I always talk to my mom about this I'm like god is not just someone we fear is also somebody we go to when we do wrong because he created us so he knows we're human and he knows that we make mistakes and that's something that people don't understand is that I think even the prophet in Islam like Muhammad peace upon him he said I came to teach morality he didn't say I came to teach religion because technically religion is you strengthen your relationship with god like when you fast for example we have to fast from Ramadan I think you fast to clean your body but also to learn how to see something in front of you and don't teach it like it teaches you patience and I think that to make you a better person you know I can see that yeah the the delayed gratification yeah like because we're gonna eat at some point of that day but it's teaching you yeah like I see water in front of me but I can hold myself a couple hours it's oh even with water okay yeah that's more than delayed gratification hahaha yeah so it teaches you like patience patience yeah um and other things like you pray to me what I called we have to pray five times and a lot of time there's no way you meet a Muslim and they won't tell you if you don't pray you're gonna go to hell and okay maybe but also maybe teach them and say when you pray you kind of talking to god it's like you're taking a break from your day how busy your day is and like you're having a conversation with god telling you I'm having a good day or a bad day like why we don't do that it's always the fear side of if you don't do this you're gonna end up in hell if you don't do this you're you're not Muslim enough or if something bad happened to you it's because as a Muslim you didn't do this so you deserve this and I'm like that's why like why you want me to fear god in like his danger and that's the something I think most Muslims do that I don't agree with because I think Islam is meant to be peaceful not scary and I don't have to fear god like you fear god because he created you more out of respect not more out of his a danger you know because there's two type of fear and I'm like if I fear god I fear god because I respect him so I don't wanna do something to make him sad because he created me not in a way of I need to do all of these rules because if I don't do all of these rules he's gonna hurt me and I think that's how they look at it and especially with the idea of heaven and hell and I think actually that's the main reason why people turn away from Islam and they don't want to learn about it because all they think about is rules rules rules which to me if you think about the Prophet and the Quran and how they layer things out it's more of morality like what do you do to this world cause also there is a very famous say to the Prophet says that if we're on a day of judgment like if we're literally just living the day of judgment and you have seeds in your hand plant it even though it's the end of the world like we're on the day of judgment like nothing and I think the main reason he said that is that you have to continue to do good to this world even for your last moments and I always tell this to my friends he didn't say pray more or make sure you're fasting that day no he said if you have a seed plant it that mean plant the good to the last minute of your life people don't talk about that if they're talking about Islam they wanna make sure you're wearing the hijab you're praying five times you're fasting Ramadan and all these are good but I think these are for you as a person not like okay what me fasting bring to you it is very refreshing to hear you on that topic not that I know a lot cause I'm learning a lot just listening to you here but it's very refreshing to have that type of perspective on something that's so seems to be so well defined in a world where everyone has grasped to that ideal that is communicated and widely adopted and you have your stand but in a very caring way and not so authoritative so I don't I I'm sure everyone around you feels that yeah and want to listen to you cause you have a way of really opening up your arms say well have you considered this so you have a very interesting and inviting way to present that and that thank you for sharing thank you and what I hear you say is yeah morality over religion now I'm curious when have you start thinking that way has it always been like this for you or were you first adopting and then second guessing what what was there a moment maybe that yes triggered you to think differently yes so the main reason that made me kind of seek my way of flirting is when when I've realized that Christians people say we're going to heaven and Muslims people say we're going to heaven Judaism say we're going to heaven and I'm like wow well if we're all going to heaven then why we're fighting hahaha why they they talk they're so sure like you you talk to a Muslim I'm Muslim I'm going to heaven because I'm Muslim and if you're the other side you're going to hell and then you talk to Christian they have the same exact belief and you're like and and you be like OK what's your fact they bring you your their holy book and then you say the other side OK where's your fact they bring you your holy book I'm like alright then why we're fighting so I'm always like where is the problem like there's something is missing out and what I've Learned is that I need to seek my own way of actually finding the facts myself not asking people because when it comes to religion really people speak their emotions even if there's rules they link their emotions to the rule and make it their own rule you know and that's something I've Learned speaking to people and I'm like alright like you're telling technically your perspective and what you believe not an actual fact and that's not enough for me so I'm like what so I consider myself Muslim because I was born in a Muslim family but I'm like let me actually learn about Islam so I had to go and learn what Islam is and the more I learn what Islam is I'm like oh my god like we are doing this so wrong you know like when I see my family and I'm like technically when you pray five times you have like after you finish praying you have to be more in a calming state like I used to see my dad finish praying and start screaming immediately or you know like having a phone call and being so upset and I'm like that's not the point of praying and again it goes back to you have to pray mm hmm not why you're praying and I always be like no you have to learn why god is asking you to do this because god doesn't need you to pray you pray for you like if you pray or not you're not gonna add you know like god doesn't get bonuses if you pray or not like you're the one who get the bonuses of how you feel after so that's the same thing was like Ramadan I always say the goal is fasting is technically to clean up your your body because you've been eating bad all year so this one must actually really help you organize so you're eating 2 3 meals a day if you eat those meals that like um like a quality good quality of food then you're given literally like you're cleansing your body but the moment we are allowed to eat people eat crazy amount of food and eat all kind of junk food I'm like you missed the point you know and this is the thing I'm like alright follow the rule but also understand why you're doing it and I think the thing of all religions they don't get why we're doing things we just do it because god said so alright well take it further and think why god said so like why god said do this and don't do this because I know he's not playing game with us like at the end of the day I will say god is your creator so he cares for you so even if there's rules I don't think to punish like he's not telling you do this and he's waiting for you if you don't do it he's ready to hit you with something bad no I think he was trying to organize your life and because he created you he knows you better so he knows if you eat this it's gonna be good for you and if you don't eat this it's not gonna be good for you and I think also god knows that we're not good listeners so so that's where the punishment comes like you know and I think that's like a good way of learning about god like stop looking him as a threat or danger because I think god is pretty aware that he created a human cause he also created angel and evil and you know like we say we come right in the middle as a human so we're gonna do the good and the bad and I think god is fully aware of that so when you do the bad it's okay just keep on like try to make it work it's fine don't don't assume you're going to hell like I feel like we need to stay away from like we need to ignore who's going to hell and heaven I think that's a very an important part even though I know a lot of people will disagree with me because I think that that's the main reason why we do religion to end up in heaven but I really think if you create your heaven on earth you're gonna make it to the real heaven um because heaven on earth mean being good having good intentions try your best um be considerate you know for everything like be considerate to people be considerate to nature be considerate to god like just you know I think those things are more important than I'm looking at you what you're wearing and like yeah you're going to hell yeah definitely it sounds like this has to be your own unique journey through it all yes how old were you you think when you started on that journey of exploring that's for what it is and I would say that's right before I moved from Syria the topic of heaven and hell is always everywhere you know and I've always be like people are so sure like when you talk to people they're so sure like they're going to heaven and the other side is going to hell and like the other side meaning other religion yeah yeah and every religion they have this perspective like interesting any any religion you talk to they be like yeah we are the one for heaven for us and and I'm just like in no way all these millions and millions of people who believe a certain way is gonna make it to hell for an idea to me somebody tell you I'm Muslim but they're really doing more damages to this world than good I don't think that he should think only because he consider himself Muslim but he's not acting as Muslim it's about what are you doing every day to be that it's not your label and this is something it really bothers me it's like okay you're Muslim but what do you do as a Muslim and you're looking like what do you do as a Muslim one of the main concept of being a Muslim is to respect that other religions exist and one of the biggest thing in Islam to actually never judge and tell people where they're ending at because it's not your job it's God's job because technically me and you have the same abilities because we're both are the same creature we are human so I don't think I have a higher ability of kind of telling you where you're gonna end up in because I am in the same boat the one who has this ability is god and I don't think we talk to god one on one yet we just know him through feelings through intentions through situations through books through like how much you believe in something you know but we really never talk to god for real for real we sense him we talk to him but you know not like I'm talking to you and that's why I'm like alright as long as you didn't sit with god or had a phone call and he told you yeah Yuma is going to hell and then you don't have that right to say it because people change too like I might be a good person today you never know what I'm gonna do tomorrow and the other way happens like some people act bad and then something happened in their life or they shift to be like whoa you're a completely different person now they shift for the best yeah you never know so I don't think you're gonna know where you're gonna end up until your very very last day cause you never know what's gonna happen like somebody you really love might die and you go from and it happens we've seen it happen like somebody go from extremely religious to I don't believe in god because he took away this person that I loved or the other way like somebody lose a really really loved ones and then they decide oh I wanna get close to god you never know what people think and feel you've done your own research as you mentioned uh early teenage years on faith and even had actually a podcast debate once with someone who wasn't a believer and you walked away having made Islam feel more welcoming what does that moment tell you about your role as a bridge between cultures and religions and maybe you can explain a little bit what this was about uh real quick yes so this debate was about three people one is Muslim one is Christian and one who doesn't believe in any of that um and it was a really interesting topic now I was 18 so my English also wasn't the best so it was harder for me to explain but I think I did a good job of getting my points across it made me believe in myself more and believe in my power as a Muslim woman actually that I can open a door for people to look at Islam different than what they know because most people especially out of Middle East they look at Islam as rules based religion and I look at it as emotional emotion and and intentions more than anything to me if I think about Islam I think of emotions and intentions and I always say intentions comes first and that's come out of we're human and we do our mistakes but what was our intentions behind everything we do and what our feelings before doing something and after um it's not I always say rules rules are meant to organize your life you know um but I think Islam is a lot deeper than just do this and don't do this I think it's really a lot a lot deeper and I like Islam and I want people to learn what it is more than of fearing what it is because it's a faith and a believe at the end my pain point that day and in general is I want people to feel that Islam is more of a warming religion more of like connection then you know you have to do things and always like the stress of I'm gonna fail I'm gonna fail all the time as a Muslim you have to be something or you're gonna fail what was the actual debate about so you have the atheist the one that doesn't believe in any religion yes you have the Muslim which is you represent in this case and then you have a Christian the liver and what what was the topic of debate believe it or not it was heaven and hell debate oh yes the Christian or person was he believed that you have to believe in the Christ in order to make it to heaven because you need this kind of a third person to connect you and god and we Muslim don't believe that you need a 1/3 a person to connect you you can connect with god like right now like right now I can connect with god I don't need to believe in a something else and then the other person he didn't believe he I think his main reason is that if god truly is a thing why evil exist and I had my reason for that and I always say how would you know first it's kind of um choices like you as a human you have to choose if you wanna do good or bad so that's really not a god thing like god created you and told you um if you believe a religion that you know these are a list of things to not do and this is a list of things you do to be a good person like don't kill don't steal and I think all religion agree on those things but if you as a person decided to go kill somebody or go steal from somebody that's really not god creating evil that's you choosing to do this um and yes I always say god has the ability to stop it but if we truly believe heaven and hell exist then what's the point if he gonna stop it while it's happening then there's no need for heaven and hell we can continue to live infinite and yeah like in the moment somebody do something bad he get the punishment for it and that's it you know um and I think it's face of choices like I I'm choosing to be a good person and then on the day of judgment I will have to talk with god and then we'll see or I'm choosing to do something bad and then if I did bad enough we're also gonna have a conversation with god and then we're gonna get I'm gonna get my receipt back basically you know um so that's my way of thinking and I think um that person he kind of leaned to me a little more than his friend is only because I said we don't need to link like we don't need a third person and I do believe in Jesus but I always say I believe in him as a prophet um as much as I believe in Muhammad as a prophet and Moses a prophet I believe they all exist and yeah I had a message and it was based off of moralities that's my opinion I think oh you said as a prophet yeah okay so someone just like a messenger yeah messenger okay okay yeah that's my own faith um and like if you believe he uh he was a third like party or like a a a someone to connect through Christ then you know that's your belief and I respect it too like I don't need to tell you you're wrong and you're going to hell there's no right or wrong at the end of the day I like that about how you convey your messages you know you're your own person through this you can have your own connection with god whatever that looks like and I'm not here to tell you what's right what's wrong like you're an equal human as I am and you can make your own you can have your own beliefs when it comes to the details of how your religion attack it exactly Leo just standing there staring at you and I really think for me I also think we need to remember all the time that it is a relationship at the end of the day and relationships changes either they get deeper or they get more surface level you never know and I could never ever know how you feel and what your intentions are and honestly it's not even my job to know I just have to see you as you and what you're showing me what's going inside that's you yeah so it sounds like it's really about how you treat others like that's really what um also how you want to show up in the world that to be it is matters because if I am Muslim and I'm telling you hey I'm Muslim and then you see me like make sure I am good to people make sure I get my responsibility done you be like oh Muslims are like you know she's good but if I'm telling you I'm Muslim and I go kill somebody you're gonna be like oh wow that's what is that you know food is also a big expression of culture for you yes uh you've said you don't eat processed food make your own pita bread which is awesome and you keep hello what connects food culture and faith for you yes so food is is a big thing me being Arab and Syrian specifically and I know most Arabs will be like everybody wants to be like oh no we're the best I believe Syrian food is the best because I tried I will say lovin'you still OK I'm gonna give them the credit they have really good breakfast yes but I think Syrians come first for me um especially in Damascus and where I grew up I really grew up eating clean food like for real for real like even my dad like one credit I'll give my dad that even if I wanna go out and eat he always taught me to make sure I'm going to a place where they are fresh vegetables and their meat like he always be like make sure where they're getting their meat like don't like my dad taught me as a kid like don't go to a restaurant without asking me first like yeah like let me know what you're eating because it's very important now eating halal food in Malaysia is a lot easier than here because it's like a we all agree on it um and halal mean it's like the way you kill the animal um basically there is a certain list you have to follow to kill the animal right um one of them the blood has to come out the right way and kind of fast so you have to kill the animal like from here where he he die immediately from the neck no suffering yes and another thing the animal should stay away from the other animals so animals don't see the animal dying in fear yeah fear like have that fear feeling because they know animals are smart they know what's going on I think if I was eating red meat I would only eat a lot of meat yeah you know after you explained that to me I thought wow what a it's what a caring way to get your food and it's just wow yeah and I really like it yes and also if you think about it it's scaring for animals and for the human because technically we're making sure that you're eating clean meat but at the same time we're making sure the animal what we say in Islam the animal has to suffer one time only and that's the the time he's being killed but other than that he we he shouldn't suffer he shouldn't see it happening he shouldn't know he's going to die and that's also they have to cover their eyes so he doesn't know he's about to die so and that also um even in science says that it also killing the animal while they're no like they have this fear it makes the blood like something happened to the blood where it's not good for you um there's like that's what halal basically means and then other things labeled halal too were the pork because we're not allowed to eat pork so anything has pork in it technically it's not halal food or alcohol because also we're not allowed to eat alcohol like drink it or have it in food so alcohol is not allowed no oh I didn't know that um so another thing like let's say you have alcohol in something and you know like I'm Muslim but most people here are very very considerate and like I've experienced that everywhere whether my neighbors my professors my friends they always like let me know like don't drink this it has alcohol or something and I think people are so nice about just respecting that you have your rules of eating something and not eating something and then as far as food also I am very like I love our Arabic food so coming here it actually helped me lose weight cause my options were a lost a lot less like I just didn't know I was around a lot of food that I didn't even know what it is and that comes also from I'm not sure if it's halal so I'm just not gonna eat it until I learn what it is and then the other thing is it was new like I'm someone who is always grew up like breakfast lunch dinner normally breakfast is very very light like we eat like a toast or cereal and that's it and like maybe some hummus or lemonade like that's it breakfast is very light but I came here and I see people eat too much like on breakfast like a sandwich or something and like no way I'm eating that like we don't technically eat meat until I will say noon or even after like Arabs don't really eat chicken and beef and those big meals until like it's midday um and that's why you know I would go places and I know I can't eat those things I'm just not used to it it's very heavy for me to have and that's something I've also struggled with a lot and I had to kind of bring my food with me everywhere I go first I was shy so I would rather just stay hungry and then I kind of Learned hahaha yeah hahaha yeah like at school yeah school events or oh yeah even I guess just going to school I know which you can easily bring your food so was it more at events yes like yeah I know it was so embarrassing but also you know I just wanted to eat and I didn't know how to eat but now I you know and that also come from I didn't really speak English enough and I wasn't sure I don't know how to read to know what's in there you know so it took me a while to be like yeah I can eat this and I can't eat this yeah yeah finding your ways to all that that was new what's a a a meal that you particularly like from Syria oh there's so many like there's something called so which is stuffed veggies we normally call it mahashi when we stuff pretty much anything there's one food that I don't think I've missed either it's been like literally since I left Syria I haven't had it so technically in Damascus we have huge carrots and we stuff them with rice and beef and then we cook it with rice and it was one of my favorite dish ever but here we don't find those big carrots and what I mean big carrots like a size of like a an eggplant or or like a zucchini because we like we Arabs known for stuffing stuff like we stuff the chicken we stuff the veggies we stuff everything like even we have those grape leaves technically these are stuffed vegetables yeah um so that's one of my favorite dish that when I go back I'll definitely have it how do you stuff a carrot are carrots as hard as they are here yes like I could see a pepper I could see a squash a carrot I'm trying to make sense of that yeah it's actually a really good dish too now I don't know if other Arab countries have it but I know in Syria we have it so technically you boil the the carrots until it's soft and then you you get the the middle out and then you stuff the the rice and the beef in it it's really good interesting it's well recommended yeah try this if you ever go if you find it or yeah if you find it cause are there any restaurants you found that off and that dish either in Alabama or elsewhere no no no I have to go back to Damascus for that one wow so you haven't had it I guess in years since no yeah yeah I love that that's one of the dish I know there's other things too but could you cook it at home though cause you don't have the carrots you don't have the carrots now you have to do it Dang okay um and is it always beef and rice or can it be something else that's the majority of stuffed food we also we always do rice and beef now the things that you see at the Market Pepper Place Market the grape leaves that my brother sells and my mom bakes technically it's vegetarian um and technically yeah uh because there's two kind so there's it's called diology which is a Turkish word um and that one is stuffed with veggies only so it has rice and tomato and instead of rice and beef but we have another kind of grape leaves stuffed grape leaves it comes more smaller like we call it it comes at like a size of a finger it's really small and that one has rice and beef my majority of if you're like eating Arab food like stuffed veggies or chicken it's mainly mainly rice and beef like ground beef okay good to know well I loved uh what's the name if others are interested in grape leaves uh well the store of your brother if anyone is interested in getting those grape leaves Norse hummus there you go so I recommend it yes and you work there and that's how um we got to connect and I okay I have a question actually the pita bread cause you share with me you you you make your own pita bread and yes when I bought hummus and that other dip that was delicious I had the option to get pita bread did you make that pita bread no so that one my brother is very particular and he cares so much about his customers and the quality so he has his Lebanese friend who make that bread so it is Lebanese style pita bread so fun so yeah that's amazing but on the other side my other brother he sell pastry that he actually make his own too no way yes at the proper place too yes so that bread they make like my mom and my brother and his wife make and it's another stand scratch at a different place yes I don't think I've seen it's they started new really what is it called it's called I think Eastern Pastry really so that is 100% they make bread from scratch too OK I'll have to go yes next week and very recommend check it out yeah oh my god that's awesome everyone is in the business of making something of it yes that's really cool been open about navigating friendships dating and cultural expectations what's what's been the hardest part of building relationships here um for me it's because I've always felt like I'm right in the middle between two cultures like I cannot break free from either one because what I did to me as Yumi is like I took what I liked from my culture and I took what I liked from here and I kind of have my own blend but people don't really like that sometimes you know like for let's say if I want to go to the Arab Muslim community they want me to wear the hijab they want me to to say something they want me to like they have expectations for me to be around them and for for the like the American society it's not that they have expectations more of they find it weird that I don't do certain things like why to me dating for so long is like for example I always say I won't date somebody more than six months we have to be married that now that's my own rule yeah um and like my own boundaries but but to them they always be like what if you have a girlfriend for 10+ years so what you know you were together together um or if I'm going out I'm not drinking and to them like what one glass will do it's not like they're judging but they kind of like you know they wanna do things but you kind of like taking yourself out of it and they're like you know they try to work with you but it always make you feel a little awkward of like you're coming with your list of I'm not doing this but I'm here yeah it seems like it's almost a lack of understanding so it's been hard to yeah keep your boundaries but also be accepted yes um because like I have friends for example that I don't see all the time but every single time I see them they're like you still don't drink it's just like if they have the expectation of like you're like they look at if like you're adult enough you can do it um and I'm like no no no it's I'm choosing not to do it it doesn't matter like I'm not waiting a certain time thing was like dating like for example I would if I'm dating somebody and that's like another thing in relationship I'm not gonna go sleep in his house no matter what because to me sleeping at somebody's house mean marriage and I'm and that's also another thing that you always have to come with a lot of explanation because you're not trying to offend anybody and you're not trying to wrong the other side for living their life but you also have your own way of I just like it this way like I don't to me sleeping with someone sleeping at their house mean we're married so let's just wait until we're married so to me if I'm taking myself to any place I have to come with a lot of explanations you know um and it's not always a bad thing cause people don't know you but sometimes you get tired of definitely I just wanna be there like I don't wanna explain myself too much well that's why we're gonna share this podcast episode with as many people so no people you know get a better understanding of other cultures I mean this is this is why this podcast exists this is why it's so dear to me because it's important to expose yourself to other ways of living and if you haven't traveled much if you haven't been exposed to other cultures in any way shape or form you live with limiting beliefs and limiting ways of living life and it's not about oh this is a better way this is a good way a right way a bad way no it's about just getting yourself educated on the different ways that people choose to live their life and I think that's beautiful and all the differences that it brings and having respect for other people's beliefs and traditions is also important and it doesn't mean you adore to them doesn't mean that you wanna live that way but you have to live in acceptance and respect of those differences because they're all around us whether we want to see them or not and there's beauty in that and there's strength and there's a lot of things to appreciate out of these differences because how boring would it be if we were all the same believing all the same and just having the same accommodations and having the same likes and needs and how long exactly how much the same and and born as we oh I cannot imagine yes I find it very exciting to learn and hear about other people's stories in a way that's very different than mine yeah and it especially that people like to stereotype others and they like to group themselves all the time and I don't and that's something I've Learned it doesn't matter what society you're in people love to group you in something like if you go to the Arabic culture you'll find it whether through religion or through the way you look like or your family background or your family last name how rich you are all that make you in like a specific group and you come here it's the same thing like your your face um and what you know like what background do you have like all of that also group you immediately to certain like type of people and and that's how they be like oh so you're Muslim you must be one two three must doing this and this and this and a lot of time like no it doesn't matter you know you're able to affirm yourself and yeah like it doesn't matter it doesn't and I like to confuse people and it makes it brings me joy when I'm like oh you're Muslim and you do this I'm like yeah you know maybe maybe we need to accept that yes I'm Muslim and I do this yeah well I think the more people like you standing for what they wanna be that doesn't fit the norm is bringing more space for others that might be more timid and putting their feet down or their foot down and saying well this is my way of living and no it doesn't fit any of those boxes yeah this is who I am yeah I think the more people will do it kind of and yes the way you're doing it too maybe they get out of the box yeah and it's it just takes time probably it takes time and it takes it takes patience yeah yeah because sometimes you no matter how strong you are and faithful you are you you get weak sometimes you know and you know it it takes a lot of isolations because people again people fear to speak loud and fear to be themselves because in back of their mind they're waiting for the judgment like and we all do it naturally too like we always have this expectations what this is gonna say about me and how he's gonna believe about especially in relationships you know speaking of relationships so today's episode is brought to you by Birmingham Breadworks they've been serving up amazing sourdough bread European style pastries pizza soup sandwiches all made from scratch since 2,014 everything they make is fresh no preservatives no additives just simple clean ingredients Dark Cafe is the perfect cozy spot with natural lighting warm wooden tones and art from local students and photographers it's perfect to grab a coffee or something delicious to eat plus they're big on sustainability as a gold level member of the Eat Earth Aware team stop by Birmingham Breadworks and taste the difference of fresh local food you've talked about your hero mindset uh before when we were just chatting you and I and how it's affected your relationships can you explain what it is and how you're working on it yes I've Learned this that I have a hero mindset when I I talked to my therapist and I didn't know about it but basically I'm a very very sensitive person and I always I feel like if I love you and I see you in danger I might be there like I need to be there for you and and I do that with everyone um even if it hurts me as a person to me I gotta make sure you're out and that also comes with the fact that I had my sister's back during the war and I had a sister that is younger than me it's only one year so we're pretty close in age but she was a very she was a little mess as a kid and she would always like run around and do things and I've always have to be aware of where she is because we went to the same school and it wasn't safe so I always have to make sure she's around me in case we need to run away or do something she's around me so that's where it built the idea of I'm extra protective and because I speak loud and this is something like with my memories is that my friends whenever in danger they come to me to protect them for some reason even though I don't think I have any extra power or like I used to joke that I had a friend that no matter where intense pop happens she like stand behind me and hold me and a lot of time I used to joke as she's standing like you know we're gonna die if it's gonna happen I'm not an ex like I'm I have the same bodies haha but we I used to joke um but what I've Learned is because I have this like like I'm brave like I show the world I'm brave like I got this so people kind of like that so when they're in need they come to me um but I didn't know it was affecting me growing up because I kind of brought this idea with me growing up and a lot of time I've even forgot that I also have needs because whenever I'm in trouble or I need something I don't say anything I kind of figure out on my own family never know like I only tell people things when I already got it and it's over never when I need help and this is something I've I've wanted to change because I'm there for people and that's a good thing but when I'm in danger and when I'm in need I Learned to not say anything um and that's also made of people people like this is crazy but people always think I'm like a very mean cocky one huh yes um because I don't talk a lot and I isolate myself and like I'm very quiet I'm a very very quiet person whether at the gym mainly or at college like I'm a quiet person but I'm very very observant and I'm kind of aware what people are doing behind me and I'm kind of also aware of your need now the moment they come talk to me and I've always Learned this they be like you're one of the kindest people I've met like you're and no way like the way you stand and the way you act is this is you like a very baby heart and that's also my source of Protection like I kind of protect myself by having this like set face at the gym or something because you know yeah because there's nothing wrong with that yeah but yeah I hear you I've I've heard that lately a lot that I'm a very like especially comparison comes because I have two sisters and they both more on the hyper side and I'm more of like I'm the calm one you know I'm looking down all the time I don't really talk to people much so people you know stereotype again people assume you don't wanna talk to anybody and you know you're not interested to talk to anyone but to you is more like I go to the gym at night I'm going by myself so I kind of wanna finish my workout and I'm trying to protect myself cause you never know and this is something I've also Learned that you have different character based on where you're at like at the gym you're slightly different than when you're at work when you're with your friends you you are the same person but you kind of like kind of shift a little definitely definitely I think we all have a poker face at gym unless you have your friends around hahaha exactly hahaha you've said you sometimes feel like you don't fully belong in either culture what helps you stay grounded in who you are and maybe any tips that you think could help others in staying grounded to who you are I would say for me it's my relationship with god and it always make me link back because I always have to remember the better relationship I have with god that mean I have to have a better relationship with his creations which mean which mean to me people nature so every time I feel like I'm isolating myself I gotta remind myself no I have to go and put myself out there I know that people need me and I need them and me like you know a lot of time I get tired because being strong all the time also make you like I don't I don't wanna be strong all the time um but then when I go pray or have like I always if I have one advice to tell people is to also be aware of yourself like be aware of your emotions write them down be aware how you feel when somebody say a word how you feel when you do something because you need to have a good relationship with yourself to have a good relationship with others we normally run away from ourselves because it's scary to know that I have this weaknesses and I think that that's also why we get in bad relationships whether friendship or like romantic relationship because we're running away from ourselves by going to somewhere else um so it's always good to kind of like observe how you feel all the time like you don't have to tell people but write it down like say I went to the gym today how that made me feel I went when it was so busy how that made me feel I went when nobody was there how active I was you know and that was everything and then if you are somebody who actually believe in the divine power and believe in god I always say also have those checks from god like was god I mean if you talk to him how that made you feel and when you talk to god are you actually as honest as you supposed to be because he knows but he kind of want you to be honest too and I think that's something that I see people lock we lock because it's scary that we don't check with ourselves we kind of let it happen do you actually have set day and set times throughout the day where you do those check ins and when you journal or is it sporadic to me since I pray five times because of my religion so the the token was god it normally happen before the gym because that's like I pray before the gym and before I get ready and that's where I um write and before bed I love to write before bed and and I'm trying to do it a lot more and trying to do it a lot better too where I'm like sometimes because I'm just tired I wanna sleep but I'm like no no no you had a bad day write them down now how you feel also when you have a good day yes or yes mostly when you have a bad day I have a bad day because I told you I don't go to people and ask for needs so I'm like I need to get it out somewhere so that's where I talk to god or I talk to myself um but when I'm happy that's also a very good point that's something I need to learn to do too like thank god for things um and I am somebody who's very very sensitive as well so I go extreme and I'm like I need to write this down I need to cry I get it all out and then I'm like oh it wasn't that bad that's beautifully said and good tips definitely that anyone can use into either writing or maybe some people like just to record themselves as a something to look back to it seems like to yeah I don't know if you do that or not I've I've recorded myself when I went in a relationship and I decided it's not good for me but I've also used to a routine so every time I wanted to text somebody or call somebody or feel a need I would record myself instead and that's how I got myself out yeah some people will write letters and then burn them in the fire yeah but at least you got it out yeah that's that's a good cause to me I love me so me looking at myself in the camera and like kind of talking to some myself also reminding myself that you left for a reason it helped oh wow and also um you you mentioned you're very active at the gym what kind of workout do you like to do yes I've been consistent with the gym six years now it's one thing no matter what's going on in my life that's one thing I make sure I'm holding into which is crazy even when I travel yeah I find a place where I can work out I do lifting most of the time and I do cardio but lifting is what I do like one percent of my day and I really enjoyed and a lot of time it's really mostly mental for me more than like the physical look and I always tell people this and they don't believe me I think the physical look comes of how consistent I am but that's not because it's my goal I think I go more up I'm going out to get it out to have time that's my my day to listen to music or listen to a podcast I want and kind of as a little mess and that's another thing why I make sure people really don't bother me at the gym because it's like me time and I enjoy that time of the day sometimes it comes for me it comes with a little extra explanation because I have sisters who also go there and they're more they're extreme like social and I'm like so not so hahaha hey that's all right that's what yeah so then you're just like okay have to go yeah hahaha finishing my rest hahaha yeah like please celebrating Muslim holidays in the US I wanna hear you on that I know you can feel lonely what do you do to keep traditions alive while also making new ones here now the holidays is what makes me miss Syria the most because that's the time where you literally see everyone because you know everyone is off and everybody is ready to enjoy some time and normally you're a very like you live a very busy life so holidays is where you meet your loved ones and all my loved ones are in a different country so you know that's like the main thing for me that makes me sad and now the traditions you know I live in a country where they have different kind of traditions for different holidays so if really hard to keep up but I kind of made like a routine for myself where I'm still gonna buy myself like a specific dress for that day and I'm still gonna go out and eat dessert and I try to keep like make sure it's like Arabic desserts and um I still still talk on the phone with my friends like the one I miss the most and sometimes I buy them gifts because like the main part of holidays is the gift giving and gift receiving and um like I try to keep up with the traditions Ramadan is easier than anything because it's already set for you like you know what month of the year and you know what to do yeah um and because we're all fasting in the family so we gather for 30 days and you know that's I think that comes easy for all of us because it's easily structured um but the other holidays is where you kind of have to keep up because sometimes believe it or not the year goes by and you missed it like you didn't pay attention there was a holiday on those on these days and sometimes I do try to take off work too honestly a lot of and Americans are good about this that they really respect that you are different and they will like if I go to a manager and I've never found it hard where I go to a manager a place and be like hey it's a holiday can I take off then most of the time they will say yes what other holidays do you celebrate that you like to take off for yeah so there is the one that comes right after Ramadan which is like three four days of Celebration it's called Eid and there is another one couple months later it's also called Eid and we have a different Mother's Day oh you do yeah so our Mother's Day is like the day of the year is different when is it I think it's in March and what do you do to celebrate it my mom like the whole the Arabic holiday for some reason wait I'm sorry what my mom like she like to celebrate the Arabic calendar one so we we sometimes like to take her out or like bring cake and stuff I mean she normally cook but yeah so she get to celebrate two mother's Day our question before we move to the truth there or debunk segment you've even said that you might marry someone from another culture one day I'm curious what values matter most to you in a partner yes so this is another thing that people always ask why am I single still and I get it because to them you know stereotype again like to them a woman who's beautiful and like take care of herself and take care of her education why she's single and me it's not like I have a list but I do have like boundaries and I have like qualities that I look in the other partner and to me the qualities doesn't come from where you're from so to me it doesn't matter if you're Syrian or not Arabic like that's not what I look at to me the main thing I look at his morality and his heart and how ambitious he is and he could be from America or he could be from South Korea who knows like or he could be from France or he could be you or a Syrian like you never know I've never in my head said I'm only gonna marry to a Syrian or to a Arabic person no I wanna marry if I wanna get married my main goal is to actually make that marriage work you know it like I want it to be a lasting relationship when we die together like I want that and I think that doesn't come from like those surface level um qualities of I wanna keep up with these things for the image to the world no I want that person who make me feel safe valued like if I have something silly I can tell him if I have something intense I can tell him we can have a family together I've always said I want to marry the person who I'm a friend with somebody who brings safety not technically what he buys me but more of how I feel around him especially that I lacked a lot of that growing up due to the war and family problems and other things so it's to me it's a very important quality and I don't think that comes from a person who is from a specific country I think it comes from a person who has certain amount of like him like you know qualities or morality himself or how he sees the world and how he view relationship I think that matters more to me than I'm just gonna marry a Syrian to keep up like was being Syrian you know and I do like different like I do like my kids to have this extreme diversity because why not we need to stay away from this like holding into something so we can stay in a group I gotta say you have a beautiful soul and I have no doubt you'll find someone that would be the right fit for you one day thank you yeah that's my wish to you so thank you now it's time for a little segment uh we call from here to you this is where we answer a question that come from one of our listeners and today's question is a good one I think it really ties into everything we've been talking about and it is how do you handle being judged both by people in your community and outside of it for the choices you make about faith and identity maybe a new twist cause you you did address that in a way but for that person maybe there's something also you wanna recommend on how to handle that I would say be yourself and accept that people have the right to be themselves um and there's no right or wrong of being yourself like I when I'm saying I'm gonna be myself I will expect that some people will hate it and some people will like it and instead of trying to focus on those who hate it just accept that they didn't like things about me and be nice to them regardless and just focus on having a better relationship with those who actually like liked my personality and be accepting of others because a lot of time people say I'm gonna be myself but they also don't like when people around them be themselves um you know so like try not to be selfish like be aware that I might not wear the hijab for example but another person would want to wear the hijab because that's how she see represent Islam and I have to accept that and not be like you know that's your way that's your way like be yourself but allow others to be themselves too that's great advice thank you okay Yumi it's time for truth dare or debunk okay so right here we have a bowl in front of you here I'll put it right here there's cards in it blue red and kind of a black gray one okay each color means something different so the blue means truth you'll share a surprising cultural fact red means dare you'll teach me teach us a phrase in Arabic and the that one I just showed the black gray gray ish means the bunk where you will clear up a common stereotype about Syrian culture so you'll draw one card at a time and whatever color you get that that's a challenge you take on does that work yes okay so you can go ahead let's see right that is the truth alright let's see so one thing about Syria is that they always say that Damascus is one of the oldest city and I will say that's very true go to Damascus you will see things that is actually ancient like it's been there forever like thousands and thousands of years um and you can sense how old it is so I would really say if you ever go to Syria to visit make sure to go to the old Damascus because there's a old Damascus and a new Damascus and try to learn how old it's been because they've been there forever do you know how old yeah like we've like since the prophet peace be upon him it's been like really really ancient and I think the moment you gonna go there you gonna nobody touch them they like ancient oh very cool that's a fun fact yes awesome okay you can keep that card yeah put it in and draw another one oh that's the what is it haha that's the dare yes OK so I'm gonna learn something thing Syrian alright so one thing I miss say in or that we say as Syrian people actually in Damascus is that if you ask me something I would say Allah racy me instead of saying yes I'm gonna get it done for you I'll say which mean on top of my head like yeah so it's a very common thing instead of us saying yes like let's say you ask me for a favor like bring you something instead of me saying yeah I will just say which mean like on top of my head um I know it's hard to like be like what but which mean like I I'm very happy to get it done for you so like it's like you're on top of my head like what you asked me is here oh that's fun okay so did I hear a an R sound yes say alar hasi alar alar rasi rasi yeah alar rasi and we say that instead of saying yes yeah alar rasi there you go nice we say that instead of saying yes which mean like I'm happy to get it done for you what is yes in Arabic Nam Nam or a we say in in Damascus we say a a a but then I don't say a I say Alara see yes Alara see very cool awesome thanks for teaching me that what do you think I love how you just randomly pick one of each alright so this one I would say one thing that I've here here people think because they're Americans they're not welcome in Syria um because of what's going on um and I'm like that's completely wrong we normally get extremely excited when people are out of Syria visit whether Americans or French to the point that most Syrians won't even let you pay like if they know you're from Canada for example and then you go visit and you tell them I'm I'm Canadian they will get extremely excited that they'll be like they're like they kind of keep things cheap for you they like make sure you're getting everywhere you want they make sure they have food and you really like a lot of time they like they're really happy to have you so this is something I would say no we don't care where you're from it's the government never represent us ever yes love that yeah we are a very cheerful people really not because I'm Syrian but we really really enjoy having like people come and be like yeah just just come experience the good and the bad is it safe that's often the question or like is it a good time right now to go and visit yeah it's definitely a lot better I mean you're still gonna see the the leftover war damage buildings and things but there's nothing active going on would you go yes are you able to go yes hopefully have you been no not since but I'm planning on it very nice one day maybe we plan a group trip we should that's great well I that's that's exciting for you yeah would you go with your family or just by yourself or it doesn't matter I think I'm now I'm grown enough I can do it but I'm pretty sure that my family are excited to go but yeah yeah so going back with them awesome we'll do a few more rounds I think there's couple more you can do like a rapid fires truth one thing I hear when people know a little bit about Syria is that Syrian food is the best food and I will say yes like if you experience Syrian authentic food you would fall in love we have we are extremely diverse in our food and I think the food choices that you will have you will see in Syria is really different like you won't find it anywhere else we're very um particular and we we have a lot of different dishes like it's endless you know we literally make anything a dish and we make it like our own way and people who are from France most of the time I think they know because when I yeah like when I meet people from France here and I tell them I'm Syrian be like great food that's like their comments oh that's so neat yes any good restaurants you enjoy here in Birmingham sadly not because here I didn't find a traditional place that I can recommend but in Atlanta there is a lot of places there is a place called Sage I think in Atlanta or no massage that place is really really good Arab food that's the most authentic you found yes it's in Atlanta there's other places in Texas hopefully like people come up was a good one here in Birmingham yes okay awesome good recommendation for anyone in Atlanta yes massage massage that is a dare alright let's see dare to teach me a word in Arabic alright there is a word that I also love saying um so let's say I hand you this um instead of saying thank you in Syria we say Islam Edak which mean bless your hand what for the receiver to say that yeah so um let's say I give it to you and instead of you saying thank you say which mean bless your hand okay much slower how does that sound this lamb this lamb Edak Edak or Edak for girl oh what is it this lamb Edak Edak because you're a woman yeah giving it to me yes or because I am a woman I think it's for the the one who's saying it to me so like you will say it to me and I'm a woman so you just say it okay yes so for the Islam edek yes Islam edek bless your hand okay bless your hand ooh Islam edek we're very loving like you know something about like you know how I told the Egyptians known for being like very like fast and funny when they they have their own vocabulary Lebanese known for being elegant and cute I think for Syrians we're known for being extremely loving like we always throw the blessing word in everything we say like we make sure like you know we really appreciate it you know so that's why we say like I like we're a loving kind of dialect like we make sure you're very like you feel the warmth that's beautiful and it shows how the culture sometimes will translate into the language he said it has those words those sentences that bring meanings into what your culture is about yes um and another thing that I've seen too is where there's more ways to say something in a particular language because of the meaning behind so for example you say we're very loving so then you might um you said loving and what was the other word you said we are very warm very warm so you have different ways in the language to show your warmth yes I think it's beautiful thank you yeah we we we love to like use these words to be like yeah like you're you're welcome like thank you we really appreciate what you're doing yeah like and I think it's also crazy that people uh you know because of the war we kind of expanded like we went everywhere like in Egypt Lebanon Jordan like you find Syrians everywhere now and I have an Egyptian friend he always ask me what does this mean what does this mean and we use you know adarasi a lot like that's instead of thank you like you know how much we say thank you so instead of saying thank you we say adarasi but we also the way we say men we say it different so we have our own words so we say instead of saying men like the traditional way we say zelame so say I love you yeah zelame or she had um but in the in Arabic when we say that people be like oh you're Syrian oh they know yes so could you say alaharsi at any time yeah OK that's not to replace thank you yeah that's normal when you get any service done you say that okay and it's like a very like I really appreciate it basically so like I'll put you on my head for it I'll put you on my head a debunk a myth about the Syrian culture I would say that women don't work and I think that's not right um in Syria at least in Damascus because I've never been to all Syria sure but in Damascus I don't think women are treated less um when it comes to like can you work and can you drive and can you go to places I think I've never personally see it as an issue or my family or my friend we never really um see an issue like other countries or like how intense to other places I think women and men in Syria are they work the same and they go out the same and they're they can drive and all of that mm hmm yep cause a lot of time I hear it too I think um Syrian women I think they're done for taking their like rights very early on in history that's good yes thank god yes love some good and debunk so thank you for that thank you before we wrap up I want to bring this back to our listeners what is one Arabic phrase or Syrian saying you'd love everyone listening to carry with them and maybe that's the one you already taught me maybe that's another one um there is one I tell myself when I'm like in a bad situation um it's kind of a long one though we say the sabre is the key to relief and another thing we say also that is extremely Syrian we say which mean stretch your legs as far as your blanket goes can you explain the meaning behind it yeah so which mean like you know you kind of have to see yourself in the middle where yes look up and seek opportunities but also look that you are in a place where people are worse than you and so you have to be thankful while seeking opportunities stuck where you always stress over being in a better place and doing better things um and also don't stuck in a place where you don't want to seek any new opportunities no like be thankful but also look up to be better oh that's a good one I'll take it for myself haha I tend to wanna reach higher higher and I need to constantly remind myself to be grateful and it's not that I'm not grateful but yeah just pausing and appreciating so maybe you know journaling I'll personally take for myself if you could leave listeners with one message about belonging what it really means to find your place between cultures what would it be I'll say it I will always say that be you like be you fully and just accept that some people might not like you and that's not mean you gotta change something about you that means just accept that you don't have to work the extra mile to try to fit in because sometimes it's not meant to fit in you know sometimes you're meant to not fit in and that's okay absolutely yeah finally where can people connect with you Yumi my main tools on social media is TikTok that's where I like to say my speak up that's where I speak and say my thoughts and people normally actually respond to me and that's very cool or Instagram this that's the raw me I'll say like Instagram is the Arabic side of me and TikTok is the English side of me oh okay yes so connect uh with her on both so that you get the whole you me yes exactly haha oh thank you Yumi for sharing your amazing journey with us today and if you are inspired by today's guest subscribe to from where to hear everywhere you listen to your podcast share the episode with a friend and in the meantime keep exploring thank you for tuning in to from where to here if you enjoy this episode be sure to hit subscribe leave a review and share it with someone who loves discovering new cultures follow us on Instagram at from where to here pod for exclusive updates behind the scenes moments and a peek at upcoming guests until next time keep learning keep connecting and keep celebrating the beauty of languages and cultures adios