Don't Ask If You Don't Want to Know (Q&A)

We're taking a hiatus! Only for two weeks! We'll be back at the end of April, but for now, let's answer some burning questions you want our burning answers to :) 

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Matt Benfield: @mr.benfield
Omar Ahmed: @omarahmed.co

Transcript

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Bonjourno Bonjourno, Is that something from a me? No, that's from Italy. It's Italian for. Hello? Are you dumb? Oh, it was, oh, we went to Florence one time and there was an American lady who was on our flight and then we saw her again on the streets of Florence. Oh yeah. And she like, she came up to us and she was like, Bonjourno. And that's what I was thinking about when you said Welcome back to another episode of Let's Dig In. I hate that. Why That I hate Why? I don't know why. Why? It's something about the way that you say that really is just it's like you eating the singing. It's like you eating the skin on the kiwi. It just irks me, which is a normal thing to do. It's not a normal thing to do. It's a normal thing to, it's a normal thing to do. If you don't know already. Matt eats his fucking Kiwis with the skin on it because it's the most nutritious part of the, I'm sorry. I don't give a fuck. I'm sorry. Once I was peeling a kiwi and he kept the skin, like I had the skin aside to, to throw away, and I didn't know this'cause I thought it just like vanished. I found it in the fridge later. He kept the skin of the kiwi that I had put aside to throw away. After I ate my kiwi and he put it inside the fridge. The skin. The skin was inside the fridge. I was gonna put it in a smoothie. Did you? No because I forgot. It was like days old and it was like disgusting. Well, I was aiming to put in the smooth the day of clean skin. Two days old kiwi skin and it has the most nutrients. You're not getting the nutrients. I don't give a fuck. You need the nutrients. I don't. Don't give a fuck. You have all people need the nutrients. I don't give a fuck. Oh my God. Anyway, welcome back. What the fuck? We love to stop a round table with an argument. Yeah. Because that's what we do here. That is what we do here. Welcome. What are we doing today? We're doing a cute, I was gonna say question and a question. Question a. Did you have a stroke? I think so, yeah. A question and answer questions asked by you, answered by us as is questions and answers. There are so many questions and so many answers, but there's something we must say, oh God, what? That we are taking a little tiny break. Break. Oh, we take a little break. Don't be mad. Not a crazy break. Don't be mad. my brother's wedding's next week. And I just like logistically, I just like physically cannot. This is, we're gonna call this the end of season one is what we're gonna call this. No, we're not. No, we're not. Because season two implies, we're arguing now because season two implies that we're gonna come back and something's gonna be different. We're coming back and things are gonna be maybe tweaked a little bit. But no, it's not seasonal. We're just gonna put out episodes. When we put out episodes. There's no seasons. It's just a podcast and you're just listening. There's no hoo-ha belly dance about it. You could tell we don't talk about these things off camera when we plan things while we're on a podcast. Yeah. I haven't even looked at these questions yet. So when are we gonna be back? Is the question whenever we're back. No. Let them know at the end of the month. So the next episode that you can expect from us that's not today is the 30th April. Of April. is only three weeks away. Yeah. So we're taking a two week break, a two week hiatus. We're gonna be in the UK for my brother's wedding and Coachella. Congratulations brother. We're busy girls. And sometimes we have to take a break and you can I think you can deal without hearing our voices for two weeks. I think you'll be happy. I think maybe you'll be ecstatic. Okay. Without further ado, let's get into these cues. Glad we're gonna A, I was like, please make them juicy and all of them. I shouldn't have said that.'cause some of mine are like disgusting, so I won't be doing that. I didn't mean that gross. I said juicy. Not filthy. But those are the juicy questions people want answers to. I'll do some, not a lot. Who is Tarry is bad. Shut up. Get a light also. That is the least interesting question you can ask ever. Shut up. Okay. Do I start off boring? How do you feel about the current presidency? LA There is only one correct answer. What do you think? What do you think? You're asking this question to two fags. What on earth do you think is gonna be our response? I'm an immigrant. I fucking hate it. What the fuck did I choose to live here for? Me Is it worth it? Can you work? Can you didn't even know who Miss Elliot was. We're gonna see Missy Elliot at Coachella and he was like, I don't know a single Missy Elliott song. So I know who she is. I know one song. If I showed you a picture of Missy Elliott, do you think you'd recognize that? Probably. No. You wouldn't? No you wouldn't. Thanks for answering for, no, you wouldn't. Are you gonna show me a picture of Missy Elliott right now? I'm gonna show you a picture of someone and then I'm gonna show you a picture of someone else and then maybe I'm gonna show you a picture of Missy Elliott and then you're gonna have to tell me if you can guess who they who that is. Okay. Fun game. Okay. Okay. Here's a picture of someone that's not Missy Elliot. Okay, good. Good. Well done. Do I know who that is? No, but I know that's not Missy Elliot. That's Missy Elliot. That's Lil Kim. I don't know who Lil Kim is that what we No, that I grew up sheltered. I did not listen to RB. Easy word. I listened to Christian Pop. I didn't listen to r and b. That's Miss. Yo, I was gonna show you this picture and then you wouldn't have got it. Is that's Raja har. The season, whatever, of Drag Race. I grew up shelter and I didn't listen to r and b. Don't fucking r and b. I did. Yeah. You think I listened to r and b in Catawba, North Carolina? No. Where are you going? I left my water all the way over here Anyways. Don't love the current state of the United States. No, but he did. Um, He paused the tariffs for 90 days. He backed away. Oh, this entire presidency is just gonna be a pause for a few days, isn't it? But then he said, he was like, yeah. It was all part of the art of the deal. The tariffs were all part of the art of the deal. I'm like, he's not even a good businessman. I don't know why people thought he'd be a good president. Moving on. We did this, we already did this. Moving on. Now we're doing it again. Moving on. What is something we'd be shocked to hear about? Creating content together? Ooh, that's a juicy one. That is a juicy one. That is a juy one. When I say juicy. That's what I meant. Let's argue. Come on. When I say ask me a juicy question, don't be like, who puts their dick into the other person's butthole? Like, No, I dunno. I'm feeling unhinged.'cause I have to, I have to go. I, I I see it. I have, I I have an appointment to make today. I see it. You're never this brachy. I have an appointment to make. So we need to get going. Okay. Yeah. This is what I need to do. Okay. What do you think is the, I need to be out the door in an hour, so this is what you get from me. Manic and deranged. What is the question again? What is something we'd be shocked to hear about creating content together? You have something? I'm gonna say specifically like the two of us creating content together. Sure.'cause yeah, we live together. We worked. Have I shut up for the last 10 minutes? Not really, but I like it. Okay, great. Keep going. For the last. Six years that we've been creating content, like we've been on social media together. Yeah. As a collective. Our working styles are so different. Our working styles are so d rare opposite. One might say he loves to plan everything and I hate planning. I don't like to script anything. I don't even like to, I look at the brief. If we're doing like a campaign together once, maybe memorize some of those key messages a once over a once over. And then be like, okay, here we go. And you'll be like, no, we need to structure, but even just our typical content. And I'm like, just hit play. Hit record. No, Hit record and watch the magic happen, me and the magic. I do. It's different if it's organic content versus sponsored. Yeah sponsored. Typically you get a little bit like stressed. Yes. Can you guess our star signs? I'm a Virgo who's a Gemini. Of course. This is how we work and that's what it's gonna be if for, it's a sponsored piece of content. I don't wanna have to go through the, if if you don't know anything about influencer work, you get like a brief from a brand whenever, get a sponsorship and then you have to follow the brief pretty much to a T because some brands are very specific and they'll be like, you have to say something in the first five seconds, or you have to, you can't do this or you can't do that. So I'm like, you have to remember these things while you're filming. And a lot of our filming is in the spur of the moment. We went to Chili's and we had the only a specific amount of time to like, do this content. So we have to make sure we have everything. So I get stressed, is what I'm saying. I don't get stressed, but I do get annoyed when he gets stressed because I'm like. It's not rocket science. It's not rocket science. It's literally a Chili's triple dipper. But then you're gonna have to go back and eat more calories if you, great. If you fuck up, then let me go back and eat more fucking chicken fucking out. Is that the most, is that the thing? I guess so. I don't know. General. Yeah, generally we work really fine together. Obviously because we've been doing this for so long. It's here we are. I think we figured it out generally, somewhat. There are some times when we get at each other's throats. I get annoyed and you get stressed and then I get more annoyed'cause you're stressed and I'm like, oh brother. But you know when I'm stressed to not get annoyed because that makes me stressed more. No, it's annoying. It's so annoying. I'm like, can we just get on with it? I'm a big, let's just get on with it. If I'm ready, let's just get on with it. I'm a big, let me sit in my own thoughts and freak out a bit. Person? No. I don't know. Is that the juiciest? gonna gonna go in order. By the time they were asked. So this is very random. There's no linear path to these questions, as is our entire podcast. It's as if you're asking as if we're being interviewed by like a guest. You a guest? A guest diner Question number three, would you ever consider becoming a throuple? I don't even like him at the best of times. Do you think I'm like another person in my house? Fuck off. I don't think I could do that. That's just too much like having a third boy or you. Or you. Or you're in the same house together. Do you live together? Another person with three people. That's a fucking roommate. Fucked. I don't want a roommate. That's fucking crazy. I already have one roommate. I think it's crazy. I see like sometimes this one throuple pops up on my, just like every, like once in a blue moon, this one throuple on TikTok pops up and I'm like, are you guys well, do you think they all sleep in the same bed? Yeah. And someone has to be in the middle. Yeah, I know. That's the worst place to be. Oh. Like you pick the, oh they draw straws at the beginning of every month. At the beginning of the night. At the beginning of the month. The beginning of the month. Oh, I God imagine having, oh my God. Imagine being like a really warm month and you're like, I'm in the middle. That's what I imagine. Because who wants to be in the middle of the re like in, in the bed? Because then also leaving the bed to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, you have to like, oh my God, crawl over. Or go to the bottom. That's so to the bottom. Logistically stupid bottom. You have to like wiggle like vertically out of the bed and you can't put one foot out of the covers to make it cold. Oh my God. Or you could do it the Scandinavian style that all have duvet each. That's true. That's something I've always wanted to do. I feel like you definitely have to have a Alaskan king to be in a throuple. I think you can do what you want. Do you think we can say three people in our bed? I think for sure, like comfortably king, but comfortably. It depends how large the third person is. I got those three. Moving on, the answer is no. In case you didn't know. Income wise, what's the second best paying stream? Assume TikTok is number one. TikTok is number one. Oh, income streams. Like social media? Yeah. Income streams, period. TikTok is number one, and then Instagram is number two. But Instagram doesn't pay as much as it used to. I guess I'm, I probably I mean if we do, int TikTok is number one. Instagram is number two. But then TikTok the Views Creative Fund. The creative Fund. Exactly what I was trying to, yeah, I can read your mind. That could be like number three. We are on Snapchat and we're like on the path to monetization. Apparently you can make a shit ton of the people who make, there are people who make thousands of dollars a day on Snapchat. That's crazy. From views, from stories we're like hitting every. Demographic of society. You have to, I want my 13 and 17 year olds. And then my, I'm on Facebook too. That's crazy. Crazy. I'm posting on Facebook. You got the boomers. I got the boomers. I do have the boomers. We have everyone in our empire. We're infiltrating society. You will watch our chilies videos, whether you must, whether you like it or not. We should do an episode where we talk about how much we get paid. Is that crass? No, we don't think it's crass people. I think it's, I think it's interesting that people talk about especially influencer marketing. No one nobody that's not in the industry knows how much creators get paid. And also that's why there's such like a wealth disparity in it. Like I feel like typically white creators get paid way more than. Yeah. Secret is due and it's just like a fact. but I also feel like it's interesting that this is the industry that's like the most female dominated industry, and I think that's amazing. It's given so many women the power to be a single mom or like you're at home and you've got like your phone and your like interests and your hobbies and you can make a killing. Just by like being yourself. Online and I think that's really cool. But yeah, people don't really talk about how much money there is in it. Should we, you know, people get paid a fuck ton of money. People like Alex Earl, like I know what people like, oh, her, Jim Shark. Shit. I know. Oh, crazy. Because it was a loss. Crazy. And that came out. How much money that she was gonna, how much was it? 1.5 mil? It was like one, yeah, it was like for a, it was like in the millions for a video or for a contract? I don't remember. That was probably the contract five. Like misquote, because I don't remember. But like you do one piece of content, for example, and then you'll add on like exclusivity or like usage rights and then all of this and that. And then it adds up so much. And I think that's why a lot of creators make the bulk of their money. And we're lucky to have an agency and like an entire team of incredible women behind us. So do all episode on how much we get paid or don't know. Maybe if it's something people wanna see, but do you want to know That is no. Again, whole episode. I'm like, this is how much we charge the end. It's 20,000 for TikTok. Yeah. Okay. Would you have gotten married for another reason besides the. Green square emoji card, obviously love as well. No um, sorry, did I answer too fast so quick to answer that? No. we would eventually have gotten married. We would have eventually taxes. Oh, taxes. You don't know anything about taxes. That's true. You don't even think about taxes. When was the last time you thought about taxes? The other day when I had to sign the tax document from our account. Oh, you had to sign the tax doc. You didn't even look at it? No, it told me where to sign it. I just I didn't even, I didn't even sign it. I just pressed the button on DocuSign and the auto-filled where I needed to sign on and I sent it taxes. So this is the only time you thought about your taxes? Taxes? I think we would've eventually done it, but it wasn't a priority. It became a priority when we needed to get the green card, but obviously we were gonna get married and it's not fake. I just, or patrol. Yeah, I know. Don't give them any reason to deport me. I love my husband dearly. And yeah, As we're getting older, is it, do I feel a little bit better in my relationship saying husband rather than boyfriend because a hundred, it just sounds less juvenile and more like adult. but I was like calling you partner already, but I'm like, I hate partner. Hate that word. Yeah.'cause the fucking straights co-opted it. No, I hate it when the gays did it. I hate it when we did it. Why? Because it's gross. You're my partner. Yeah. You're business partner. You're my life partner. Ugh. Disgust. Just say husband. Husband and wife. Whoa. Not the gender Binary. Whoa. It just sounds better. it trumps America. It Trumps America. It's husband and wife. Traditional family values. I just like the sound of husband. What can I say? When you were non-binary. I was forced to say partner. Oh my God. No. Yeah, no. Yeah, you did. We didn't do that. You did do that did not that far. I also couldn't call you boyfriend. You say when I was, no, I couldn't say your boyfriend then. Oh yeah. What did you call me then? Probably fucking So mate Le Or when Oh no.'cause people were calling you king on TikTok and I'd be like, Hey, so I'm nonbinary. That's really rude and defensive. Call me my leash. Don't worry. I'm over it. You're like, sleigh, leash. Don't worry. I'm over it. What do you consider your biggest insecurity and how? Oh, wait, should I answer that? Finish answering that question. Maybe. Yeah. We would've eventually gotten married. Maybe we would've eventually gotten married and maybe it would've been like a grand celebration, I think because we've already done it. I don't really care about doing a big thing again. We were planning on doing like a big celebration and then all of a sudden it became about other people and I was like, actually don't like anyone. Also, all of a sudden it costs so much money. Oh my God. We went to two weddings in Italy last summer. The amount of money they spent. Oh my God. And I'm like, if my wedding's not gonna be this lavish, I'm not doing it. Exactly. And I'm like, I don't want to invest. It's not even an investment. I don't even, I don't want to funnel all my money into other people enjoying themselves in this day or this like one weekend. In, I don't know, random destination for people to just have an amazing time and then be like, okay, that's it. I don't have any money anymore. It would all be a business expense though. Yeah. Okay. Moving on. So yeah, maybe we'll probably do a vow, like a little party eventually. I would love to do it like with rent out. Like a little banquet hall. A banquet hall. A banquet hall. Fucking chilies. Mary. No. About cantina. I would do it. Talk rent out in Vegas, like rent out. Ooh. Yeah, that's better. Talk about continue in Vegas. That's better. Wait we already eloped in Guelph, Ontario, and then we elope again in Vegas. In Vegas. That'd be sick. That'd be funny. What do you consider your biggest security and how did you overcome it? Oh my goodness. Body dysmorphia. Yeah. I would say body-wise, that's my biggest insecurity forever has always been. That's always the thing that when I looked in the mirror, I'm like, hate that. Yeah. You've been fed Husky content since you were a child. I've been fed Husky content and McDonald's since I was a child. So Happy Meals. How do you overcome it? It going to the gym, eating good. Do you remember when you were Bobo? remember when you got a bit fat in the pandemic and you were like, I'm fat and I love it. There were so many times we've already talked about this on the fucking body, body positivity episode, but there was so many times during the pandemic where I looked I, I just pretended to like myself. Did you say some things that are really like, slightly on the problematic side, but like this is an area of no judgment, so just sit down and listen. Okay. I was like very overweight during the pandemic because I was eating my feelings and drinking my feelings and yeah. I was like, yeah, I love myself. I love these roles down there. no, actually I don't actually, The insecurity is still there. My bo I have body dysmorphia to a fucking tea, but it's less because I now take care of myself. Good for you. Thank you. What's my biggest insecurity? Do you have one? Do you not have an insecurity? Oh my God. Wait. No, I'm perfect. It's top. Wait, do I have like a big insecurity? Everyone has an insecurity. I don't think it's like I, I have like certain like little things, but I wouldn't call'em like huge insecurities. you have something? Can you think of one? No, I can't think of one for you. No, I'm not going there. No, this is the thing, like I am a very confident person. I've been very confident since I was literally a baba babie. But I think a recent like discovery moving to San Francisco and just being surrounded by so many like white gay men, I think one thing, it's not even being fat, it's being too skinny. It's being too skinny and like I'm like, do I wanna buff out a little bit more? like I don't even think I've ever had a time where I'm like, oh my God, my skin's too dark and people aren't gonna like me. Fuck that. Oh my God. Maybe the thought has crept in once in a while where I'm like, oh people gravitate more towards whiteness. Especially in the queer community. Especially in the gay male spaces. Mm-hmm. That we tend to frequent. Unfortunately. And I'm like, oh no, what does that mean for me? I'm like, Ew. It means nothing.'cause everyone's rancid. And if someone doesn't wanna talk to me because I'm too dark Yeah. Or like I'm too feminine or I'm too small, tiny, petite, a speck of dust in the corner of the room serving cunt, then fuck do I give a fuck about what the fuck? Oh my God. So yeah, no insecurities. I'm perfect and I don't need to get over anything. Oh my God. You definitely have body dysmorphia as well. Oh yeah. There are times where I'm like, I am fat. You definitely have I, or like, I'm like, literally I'm not. And then I'll take, I'll do like my beach photos on vacation. I'm like, okay, nevermind. Everyone has a body dys. I feel like everyone on the planet Earth has body dysmorphia. Yeah. I think when we were in Thailand, I was like, oh my God. We're like, I'm eating so much'cause but I came here to eat and I'm having a good time. And then I'm like, I don't feel the best when we're going to the beach and we're taking photos, and I like look at the fo And I'm like. That was all in my head.'cause I look amazing. Exactly. What a freak. Our heads are scary places. Oh my God. The last question on this slide, are you circumcised or natural asking for a curious friend. What a freak number one. No friend. Number two, stop being curious. Oh my God. I'm never gonna ask say juicy questions again. That is crazy word. These are mine. I didn't say juicy. I know. That is crazy. I just said make'em good. I don't wanna talk about circumcised dicks. That's crazy. Natural is also crazy. Also circumcised. I'll answer. Do you know the thing about I'm I'm Muslim. Like what? Take a fucking guess. I think that I think that. The topic. The topic of cut and uncut dicks Yeah. Are so funny because in the UK nobody is circumcised. Oh yes. Like men. Yeah. The European just generally, but in America. Oh, everyone's circumcised. It's so strange. I found it really strange when I first moved here. Why am I seeing everyone's dicks? Wait, why am I seeing everyone's dicks? No, I'm not. But yeah, it's a thing. It is. Just, I'm gonna move on. I don't wanna talk about Circums. This episode is unhinged. It's a little unhinged. I like it. I don't want, okay, moving on to the next slide. Fave Disney Princess. Oh no. It's just Prince. Have you seen the new, the new Disney Adult Trend on TikTok? No. Have you seen it? Okay. Do you want no. Can I talk about it first? No. Can I talk about it first? Do you know the, this the moment that sounded like Jose's yell? Yeah, I showed you that. But there's a new one that said new things. The moment. That's, yeah. I showed you that last week. I know. Oh, but that's why I was saying, because what you were telling me as if it's the first time you're telling for the bit. There's a moment. It's like the moment that sounds like Goofy's laugh. It's like, and there was a girl and then Yeah. In the mirror, the top, the top one is like this girl. She's she's doing what I can only describe as like a Disney adult laugh in the mirror. Disney adult shoulders. That's what she's doing. She's doing the Disney adult shoulders, which is just moving your shoulders up and down. What the fuck are you Sit down? Because then she put on, she put on the Mickey Mouse ears on the bottom. The Mickey Mouse ears. Yeah. She's oh my God, I'm so happy'cause I've got these Mickey Mouse ears on. I'm sorry. It felt like goofy has left to me sit down and shut the fuck up to all the Disney adults out there. I'm moving on. No, my favorite princess Prince Tarzan. I don't think he's a prince. Does he count? He doesn't count. Does he count Prince? Yeah. He counts. Does he become a prince? Does he marry the girl? Do you think it married? He does move. He moves to the, he moves to the city. No, he doesn't. They move. I don't, she moves to the jungle. I don't remember the tars. Does she? I think so. Okay. Not tar then. Oh, ply. Who ply from LE's LE's Dish. I don't care if he's a prince or not. He's a prince in my eyes. He is hot. Is he hot? The alien. Oh, I thought you meant the guy girl. Get a grip. I thought you meant the love interest. Good girl. Get a grip. Ly Isly is not a prince. I know. I'm just saying. He's serving non-binary cunt. They made him on a man. Yes. In the new one. I know. I'm so annoyed. Yeah. We've only seen a clip. I don't care. They made him a manly. Okay, so lemme pick a different one. Jesus Christ. You can pick Taza. I picked ply. Okay, moving on. Its fucking about Dar Z. Okay, great. Taza and ply on Disney Princess. Makes sense for us. What made you guys decide to do a podcast? We like talking shit and I wanna talk shit for a living. We just have this pent up angst to just scream into the void and you are the void. And this is a screaming. No, actually the real reason is because TikTok was being banned and we got stressed, so we made a podcast. That's literally the reason I'm dead. This one's so funny. Wait, no, the rea you didn't even respond to my reason. What did you say? I said you weren't even listening. I was reading the next question. You weren't even listening. I'm preparing as an interviewer. I said the re actual reason we started the podcast is because TikTok was doing banned and we got stressed that we needed more sources of income. We were already going to do it. Totally. We already were talking about, but we weren't actually going to do it. No, we weren't. We've been talking about it for months and months and months and months and months and months and months. Our manager's like, start a fucking podcast. She was bitches. You'd be so good at this. And I was like, ah, that's too much effort. And then all of a sudden, TikTok iss being banned, your life is gonna be turned upside down and said, actually, let's like do more. Let's just do it. Do more. Let's just do it. And you know what? TikTok sticking around. I'm sure it is like everything's gonna be fine, blah, blah, blah. But here we are doing something exciting and new. Yeah. Because we need more, more gay voices. In the podcast world, everyone else is boring and everyone's straight. I've had enough, the only two straight men that I will allow. The ones in the basement. Basement. Basement yard? Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. I like them. They're so cute. Because they're like gay adjacent basement yard. Yeah, basement yard. Yeah. That's what they're called. Yeah. Because they're gay adjacent. Yeah. And they like joke about gay things. I love them. I love them too. They're so fun. I think they're, yeah. I'm moving on. Is Hassan Piper gay? No, he's straight. No, he's straight. I like him too. Okay. What? You don't like him? Yeah, he's great. Yeah. I love him. Yeah. Okay, great. Are you sure Omar loves you jk? Not really. Hashtag Omar, be nicer to Matt in your videos. No, I'm not even nice to you. The way the videos we post on TikTok and internet, that is our relationship actually. It's not a, it's not fake. It's not anything. This actually, how do we think that's that's to like us in the videos or like us to us in the podcast? I'm not generally. Is that question, do you think targeted towards us videos. This is from Instagram questions Uhhuh. These are the videos they see on TikTok, which is exactly how we interact with each other in real life. My love language is bullying. Okay. If I don't bully you, that means I don't care about you and acts of service. He likes to bully people and have other people do things for him. Like a Le stop. Favorite fragrances and favorite shoes? My favorite fragrance is um,'cause I'm ignoring these ones'cause are annoying. Okay. Is it top or bottom? Yeah. Top or bottom? Take a guess. No, don't take a guess. Break stereotypes. Break stereotypes. Listen to me. Get your head out of the gutter. Break stereotypes. Step out into the world. See the trees swaying. Touch grass. Breathe in fresh air. Suck a dick maybe. And leave me alone. Stop. Favorite fragrances? My favorite fragrance is Tom Ford. Black vanilla? Yeah. Black vanilla. Is that it? Is that what it's called? No. What's it called? A tobacco one. Tobacco Vanil. Bro. Tom Ford, tobacco Vene, Tom Ford tobacco vene, or boy smells by the fireplace. None of those things are right. You are dumb. What? It's not boy smells by the fireplace. It's Mason Mello by the fireplace. Oh yes. And it's oh boy. Smells would, okay. No listen to me. Boy smells. Ria Mason, Marella by the fireplace. Tom Ford. Black Orchid. It is tobacco il. Tobacco il. I knew it. Yes. Tobacco, il. Those are my three. Those are my top three. That's what I reach for in my fragrance cabinet. Yeah. Mine is black opium YL Yeah. For when I wanna feel a little bit sweet and a little bit fruity. That's my like, go-to night out fragrance and then Mason Marella Beach. Wok Beach wok. That lovely ones. That's my go-to summertime. Oh my God, you smell so amazing scent. Yeah. Favorite shoes? Favorite size shoes. That's so random. People wanna know how big our feet are. Why is that such a thing? Honestly, I've people love feet. I've seen Girlies do a feet finder on TikTok. Is that what it's called? Yeah. Feet Finder. The Feet Finder. And she's like, I made so much money on Feet Finder. You can do it with your feet. I could. People love gross feet. You can do with your feet. People love gross feet. You don't have gross feet. They're not as pretty as yours. You have like hands for feet though. You have pretty feet. Hands for feet. Are you kidding me? You're fucking bunions. What is a bunion? It's like that. Do I have it? You literally have it. No, I don't. Look the sides of your feet. I can see the bunion out of your skull. I don't have bunions. It's not a bunion. Your like toe goes that way. That's just my toe. It goes that way. No, a bunion is like, it hurts like your like big toe is like a bunion hurts. Your big toe is like twice as long as the rest of your toes. If your big toe is the same size, it's like my cute big toe is the size of my middle toes and then it goes down. My toes are cuter than yours. So if my, if your toe was the same size as the rest of your toes, then like mine are cute toes, then you would be able to fit into normal people's shoes. Instead, you have to wear big boat shoes. Do you think we could do a couple's accountant feet finder? Ooh, people would love that. Mar feet. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe there was a time, oh my God, I dunno if you know this, there was a time there was a Twitter account dedicated to Mr. Ben Fields's feet. Oh my God. Did you think I was gonna go there? Yeah. I knew you were gonna go there. Yeah, there was a couple. There was account on Twitter and it was called Mr. Ben Fields's feet because he used to, I know post like content like around the house or like at the beach or whatever with my shoes and socks off as I do. And ever since he discovered this account, he never wore his bare feet out in public. I can't do it. I can't do it. I think that's so funny. It's disgusting. His feet are famous. I'm telling you, I could make so much money for all the wrong reasons. Should I? I get offered it all the time in my dms. Can I? Yes. Can I like, have your like used socks? Someone also wanted your stinky underwear for$500. Do it. Should I like double it? Should I just be like, next time just be like, can you do 2000? Oh this isn't a Belinda situation in white Lois. You're not gonna give you$5 million for a stinky underwear. They might. Next time someone sends me a dm, I'm going to take at the offer. What can they do? Why not take my DNA? What's the downside? This is disgusting. PO box. Put a PO box as your return address. No one knows where you live. You don't have to put return address. It's disgusting for them. Not for me. I got money. Yeah. It's disgusting money. Sure. Yeah. But then you're gonna know that you've worn your underwear.'cause typically, I don't know why I'm saying this. Typically. I had a friend in Toronto who did it. yeah. He was like, he had to wear it to the gym. Oh yeah. All day. All day at the gym. Sleep in them, put them in a Ziploc bag. to really capture all the moist, this is disgusting. Where is this episode going? What the actual fuck our next income stream was it we ever supposed to be the, who was ever gonna be a family friendly? If TikTok podcast did go away and my income did go away, I would move to Feet Finder. I remember the pandemic. You were like, I'm gonna do OnlyFans. I'm not during the pandemic. No. Wanna watch that. I would not have done well at that. Okay. What's your favorite show? It's your favorite shoe. I'm so random. Wait. This morning I was like, I don't think we, we should do a q and a episode.'cause they're all, the questions are so random, but this is like, that's the point. This is like my brain on A DHD. I'm like, okay. And now let's talk about shoes. My favorite shoe is the New Balance. 90 60. Okay. They're mine too. They're cute. Yeah. I got them first and Oh my God, you copied me. The thing about this bitch is anytime I do something in, at any point in my, because I do it first at any point, I always do it first at any point in my life after the fact that he might do it, he might have bought shoes five years ago for the first time and then I buy them today and he'll be like, I did it first. You need to do it first. I'm like, why do you need to add the exact same shoe as me? I have a different color. I'd never bought the same exact shoe as you hardly. They're all different colors. One is off white. Yours are white. Men are actually sea salt. Oh, shut up. Oh my God. Next question. What is the happiest memory you have with your parents? Ooh. Ooh. When my mom told me she was applying for divorce. That's a happy memory. It's a, I love that. It's great memory. It was a really great bonding experience for the both of us. Yeah. I don't think about that. My happiest memory with my parents. There are a lot of happy memories. Okay. But they're very normal. Listen, that's fine. You're allowed to have normal, they're like going to get a happy meal, but Oh, that's lovely. Yeah. See, that's so nice. That's nice and chill. Nothing like crazy. I have another one. Okay. Okay. If I'm thinking about like actual like happy memories. When I turned I think six or seven, I came downstairs. If it was the only time. My mom and my older brothers have ever done anything like this for me before. I came downstairs, I was like sleepy eyed, like sleep in my eyes. And I came downstairs and there was balloons everywhere. Oh. And it was my birthday and it was really nice. That nice. And everyone surprised me when I woke up and it was really nice. That's nice. I think I was like six. Yeah. And no one ever surprised me ever again. Oh. A happy memory. Every time I had a choir performance, my parents would be there and my dad would always bring his camcorder and he would record. Oh, that's cute. Also, every single time it's your birthday. Like Oh. My dad sends me a message every single time. It's his birthday. A voice night. It says it is a voice note. He goes, it is exactly like this. He says happy, happy birthday. Happy, happy birthday. Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, Happy birthday. It's your birthday. Happy birthday, man. I hope you have a good, was it exactly that? That was exactly it. To a tea. He sends that every single, single single year on my birthday. That was exactly it to a tea like quote. It's the by quote. It's the birthday and then the song, the singing ends and he goes, crappy birthday, Matt. Who's the guy in the Beyonce Cabo album? Billy? Who? Who is it? The guy, you know the guy who post Malone? No. The guy who's like on the radio. You know the little interludes. Oh, will Willie. Will. I don't fucking know Willie something. I dunno. Country people will, there's an next track is If you don't, you can leave. Exactly. Exactly. That's a good memory. Yeah. Okay. Oh, that's nice. That's the one that was like at birthday, Matt. The big three. Oh. Oh wow. Perfect. Love that. Okay, next. Moving on. Been to Santa Cruz. No. Didn't we stop for lunch Once when my friend was visiting from the uk. No, we didn't stop in Santa Cruz. Oh, then no, we drove around Santa Cruz. I'd love to go. I want to go to the, is there like a boardwalk? It feels like black pool. Pleasure beach though. But it's nice'cause it's warm. Blackpool pleasure. Beach can be nice. Can it? No, it's disgusting. Kinda wanna go? Should we go? It's hell. Should we go? It's horror for fun. Yeah, a hundred percent. For video. We have to. It'd be so crazy. Taking my American Heisman to Blackpool Pressure Beach on the Pepsi Max Ride. Oh, you'll die. There's a Pepsi Max ride. All the rides are named after sodas. That is so funny. What the fuck is an iron brew? Is it like Vegas? I've never had an Iron Brew. Can I have an Iron Brew? Yeah. You never had an Iron Brew? I've never had an iron brew. That is just hangover relief because it seems like a beer. Al Alsa that we have? Yeah. Alca Celsa. That tastes like an iron brew. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Okay. The hangover. Alka Salsa. Iron Brew. Iron Brew. It's Scottish. I think. Sounds like something an American would say or Southern person would say. Iron brew. No, think of it in more of a Scottish accent. Iron brew. excuse. Get Don. Do When are you coming to London? Next week. Next week. Matthew's next week. What day is it today? It's Wednesday. No, it's next week. Oh. We're going into London, but we're not staying in London next week, bro. Husband, bro. Next week we're flying into London. We're flying into London next week. Yeah, week. Today. We're not staying in London, but then it's two weeks from now, we're actually gonna be in London. We're flying into London. Taking a train. Yeah, I know we are, but I'm telling you, we're going to London next week. We're flying. SFO to L-H-R-L-H-R. I was like, what the fuck is London? I had to buy a fucking visa. I had to buy a thing. I had to buy a e visa. What? What is it? An E. It's an E, T, A and then T. Travel authorization. I had to spend$13 to go to the uk. Why would I spend$13 to go to the uk? Because people in the UK have to spend that much money to get an Esther for the US as they should America travel in Trumps America. That's crazy. I think people are like. Americans are like, no. I get, oh my God, I can't believe that we have to spend$13 to go to the uk and the eus gonna be doing it soon as well. I know. And I think the EU does. I know it's not doing it, but it No, it's Pat, it's delayed I understand why. I just didn't want to do it. No, America has been doing it for every other country. I know. Like you have to have an esta to get into the us. I know. So stop complaining. Okay. Oh my God. Great. Okay. If you could only read one book for the rest of your life, what would it be? Over and over again. I'm gonna shoot myself in the head. I'm not reading a book over and over again. I'm not doing it. Sorry. A cord of Thorn and Roses book one. Sorry. What the fuck? You have to pick one. I have to, it's the question Song of Achilles maybe. Okay. Oh. Just be absolutely devastated over and over again. And then just skip the Trojan War. Oh yeah, totally. Skip that whole part. Oh, it's just, I don't even have it. My book, just my copy disintegrated in Greece. If you, my copy of the song of Achilles Disintegrated in the Sun a few years ago in Zos Occasioning in Greece. I need a new copy because sometimes when I'm feeling, sometimes the things that you say are so funny. Sometimes. Sometimes I want to have a, every time I'm like feeling melancholic, which is most of the time I like, just read the last paragraph of Song of Achilles and just like cry. That's nice. Anyway, oh, I did just finish reading. We were in Mexico and in four days I finished midnight library. Midnight library. That was an exquisite from start to finish. An exquisite book. Let it be know. I told you that is fast for me. I don't read very fast. I've been reading the same. It took me like a hundred pages. A hundred. Hello? It took me two weeks to get to a hundred pages of the book I'm reading right now.'cause it's so slow. Ever had family, friends disapprove of your content and how did you handle it? No, not really. my, Some of my family got Matt. One person in my family Whenever we posted that we got married. Yeah. Two years into our relationship or relationship, our marriage. One of my aunts was like, can't believe you didn't tell me. I didn't tell anyone. Do you speak to this aunt on a regular basis? No. No. Then, okay. Is she listening to this podcast? No. Then you'll be fine aunt. But no, there's no, no one has disapproved of my content. I've heard rumblings from behind the scenes. People have been disapproving obviously.'cause I'm fucking homosexual. And everyone in my family is a Muslim. And so like I've heard rumblings behind my back. Do they say it to my face? No.'cause I'm a roaring success. Exactly. And you know what? I don't give a fuck. You are not famous until you have haters. sometimes they're inside your own bloodline. Not the bloodline. The bloodline. Yeah. No. People gossip about me and I'm like, okay, I'm sure there's gossip everywhere. I don't even think about you. Sorry. Yeah, exactly. That's that. What if I've been single my whole life? Is there such a thing as the one I don't believe in the one, I don't believe in that. I'm like so pissed for everyone. I know. We've been in a relationship for eight years almost, and I'm like, do I think you are the one. No, I think some of my friends are the one I think if you think of a soulmate or like a person or people that like really get you. Yeah, you, but also so many of my friends I pull the same like love and energy and affection and care into my friendships as I do into our relationship, if not sometimes more. you're telling your friends so many other things, like we're having conversations about everything. There's nothing I wouldn't tell you. But then sometimes when you just need a bit of a break, you're friends for that. Totally. I always think the concept of the one is very intertwined with you need to marry someone and stay with them for the rest of your life. It's very into the monogamous, monogamy. Monogamy. Do you think we'll be together for the rest of our lives? Yeah. Oh, I think so. But I also think like relationships. What? You don't think so? I think so. Yeah. He's such a bitch. She loves me. I think so. You love me. But I think like that the idea of a quote unquote soulmate is so just intertwined with like traditional marriage and traditional values and that sort of thing. When I don't believe, I think there are different types of relationships and you're gonna have many types of relationships throughout your life. Some are romantic, some are just friendships, some are whatever. And some, some can be considered soulmates, but I feel like you could have multiple soulmates if you want. And I think that when people say someone's, if someone's been single for their whole life, you could be your own soulmate. That, but then also like, you want what you don't have and like you want to like, obviously it's like that's the goal. Everybody wants to have a committed partner. I think it's just important to invest in yourself first and foremost, because if your cup is full and then you find someone else with a really full cup, and that's really nice. Yeah. Because sometimes your cup is full and then you meet someone and their cup is half full. And then you pour half of yourself into that person, but then you are left with half a cup and they're left in the full cup and that full cup. Yeah. Talking from experience. Men suck. Okay. Men suck. Just focus on yourself as long as you can. you attract what you are and the energy you put in your, the energy you put into yourself is what you're going to attract from other people. What you saying that you are what you eat and I'm an asshole. What's wrong? I have to go. I have to go. I have to go. Okay. Who wears the pants in this relationship? I'm gonna answer this because I know you're listening. Little fuck me. Duh. What does that mean? Define, I don't know, but the very define it, heteronormative. So who's the man and who's the woman or who like rules the house wear? I wear pants, but it sometimes they're like a skirt. I just wear pants, so I guess it's me. I wear the prove proverbial pants. No, we both wear the pants. What are you talking about? The, this, the person who wears the pants is like the head of the household. What do you do that's head of the household? I have more money. Oh God. I'm done with this podcast. I'm so glad we're taking a break. This is a great episode to end on. I'm having fun. No, I should, we should always film an episode when I've got like a time crunch. I have to leave in 10 minutes. Okay. Have you guys experienced any prejudice while being in or out of the states while traveling? Yeah. Oh yeah. When I was like a blue hair barista bitch when I was like, yeah, platinum blonde and, and with towels the size of, I had my nails, had my nails had my nails done, and I was in Croatia a few years ago. I was like, why is everyone staring at me? I feel really unsafe and uncomfortable. I don't think Croatia is like the gayest or the most gay friendly country.'cause it is Eastern European. However, touristy areas like Split or Dubrovnik, there are so many tourists and. It's fine. It's a, it's like a safe place, but I just stood out like a sore thumb and I just didn't feel very comfortable. Then I think I'd probably go again now under the protection of I was gonna say straight passing, but I'm a ben. Big benders not straight passing, maybe less I was like probably a little bit racist too. So I was like, totally, here's this brown. person with bleached hair and talons, a manicure, talons that you can see from afar. From space. Yeah. Okay. And yeah, in the states a fuck ton of places. I'm sure you have driven through the south before. I think the difference is like you're going, if you're gonna a place where everyone looks the same generally and there's one person who looks different, people are going to stare. We live in San Francisco where everyone looks like a fucking freak. No one stares. Yeah. I love it. So it's like I'm free. If you go to a place like Split or in Croatia somewhere where everyone's just generally white and we're in Savannah, Georgia, maybe in June, we'll see. Yes we are, but like again, I feel like I, potentially don't look like every I don't look like everyone, no, I'm unique you guys. So actually you can take it as a, you can take it two different ways. You can take it as people are staring at you'cause they hate you, or they're staring at you'cause you're hot and they've like never seen really anyone that looks like me before and you're new for them and you're actually enhancing their mindset or expanding their mindset Sometimes I'm like, stop looking at me. I don't wanna enhance your experience in this world. Go away. Yeah. It's all about your mindset, but there are places where you will get fake crimes, so For sure. And we stay away from those places. There are places in the world that I will not go to just because I don't wanna be uncomfortable. There are places that I could go to that I'm sure would be fine, but I don't wanna put myself in a situation where I couldn't. Be fine. Yeah. So I'm just not gonna go'cause at this age, I'm not meant to live an uncomfortable life. You talked about your mom growing herself and loving you, rainbow flag emoji. What about your siblings? The same. I haven't. Three brothers. I got it right this time. Woo. Good job. My oldest brother was super, super duper religious. And then when I came out, big turning point for him, my other older brother whose wedding is next week that we're going to the UK for, always been very chill.'cause we're like closer in age and just our friends were all the same. So I came out to him first. I came out to him when I was like 12 and yeah, my little brother grew up with all of us being degenerates already, so he was like, yeah, I have such a cool family. Slay. What about you? So you saved your whole family? That was, I did save my whole family. I did. So this episode is basically, I'm amazing and everyone should just be so, appreciative of my existence on this planet. Oh my God. And call me your Lee. You're welcome. Oh my God. That question was directed to you. So you wanted to end on a question about yourself, which is very telling. You can answer it too, that if it's not about me. Yeah. But it was about you too. So you were talking about your parents' experience with you coming out, but how has the experience been with you and your siblings since you came out? I never told them that I was gay. Yeah. But they obviously fucking know. So what's your experience like My sister, I like my sister. She's the one in my family that I really enjoy. But who did she vote for? But who did she vote for? Chomp. Did she actually, did you confirm? She voted for chomp the first time and then she voted. That was fine. That's fine. People make the mistake. And then she voted and then she voted for Biden the second time. And then she never told me who she voted for this time. She probably didn't. It's likely that she probably didn't. I don't know, man. I don't know. Okay. That's what we have time for today. Get outta my house. I gotta go. thank you for saying, what did you learn this week? Oh, okay. What did you read? What my, my, tell me about your art. My series. My series. My series. Okay. The series that we're doing and we're gonna continue and maybe actually like structure it better where there's like jingles or something. That'd be fun. Should we make sounds? I think we should make sounds. Do we have anyone that plays music? We know people that play music. We know someone who plays the cello and the violin. Oh yeah. What a cty. We could have a Bridgeton soundtrack. That would be great. Oh my God. Oh my God. We could have, will you still Love Me When, or like on String Quartet? That would be amazing. Perfect. So the series that we're doing or the, what is the segment? What did you learn today? The segment. This, what did you learn this week on TikTok? No, what did you read an article about this week? That's the name. That's a, that's wordy. The name is What did you read an article about this week? KKA. That's stupid. That's a shit name. That's a shit name. What did you learn this week? We're gonna workshop it. We're gonna workshop it, but it's funny. Tell me about an article you read. A KAA TikTok that we watched. You have five seconds. I didn't, I, I learned more about, I learned a lot about tariffs this week which is really annoying.'cause I didn't really want to learn about tariffs this week. That's so boring. I didn't really wanna learn about it, but I had to. And I learned about that. Like the things that Trump said. He's like, oh my god, China's doing a 50% tariff on us. They're actually is. They actually did the calculations on chat, GBT, and they said the trade deficit, which is not a tariff. A tariff, they're all different things. I learned so much about the economy this week. Crazy. So this week I learned. From an article that I read that male giraffes headbutt female giraffes in the bladder. So they peel a little, then stay with me guys. Then they Then they taste the pee and they can somehow magically tell if the woman, the woman, if the female, if the female giraffe is fertile, the woman to decide whether or not they wanna mate with her. That's crazy. Giraffes are freaky. Giraffes are freaky. Yeah. Look at them. Look at those fucking long necks. What do you think they're doing with that fucking gosling Piss. Creaky behavior. Okay, so I learned about tariffs and you learned about giraffes mating habits. Great. Yeah. Thanks so much for joining us this week. You guys, be sure to write us a review on Apple Podcast and Spotify if you want. And follow us everywhere you want. Instagram, YouTube, Snapchat. We're the fuck we are. We We're there for you. We're there for you. You be there for us. And then together we'll just be there, but not for another two weeks. See you in two weeks, oh, I'm so excited for Coachella. I'm so excited for remember about this wedding. I haven't seen my family in like almost a year and a half. I cannot wait. It's about to be a really fun time. Please, if you've missed our voices, just go back and listen to a few episodes. There's a lot of'em. There's a few. There's a good few now on there. Yeah. My favorite one so far is a jet lag episode because that was really unhinged and I feel like this matches the level of unhinging. A hundred percent. Okay. Thank you so much. I see you in a couple weeks. Bye bye. Gonna miss you.