Ep21: Minisode: You're Dead, What's Next?

Join Amy and Dawn as they dive into the delightfully morbid world of death, funerals, and what they want done with their meat suits once they’ve ghosted this mortal space.

Transcript

1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:10,000 [Music] 2 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:20,000 Hello and welcome to our podcast, Talk Gruesome To Me, where we talk about movies and shows that cover true crime, paranormal and horror. 3 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:28,000 I am one of your hosts, Dawn. I am currently located in Los Angeles and I think I'm pretty well versed in the horror genre, 4 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:36,000 especially those 80s classics. A quick fun fact about me? I have a very extensive crystal collection. 5 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:42,000 Hello, I'm Amy. I'm from Kentucky and my area of expertise for this podcast is paranormal. 6 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:49,000 A few fun facts about me. I'm an empath. I collect old dolls and you know, I've never flown on an airplane. 7 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:57,000 Can you believe that? Now Dawn and I are also obsessed with true crime, so here we are. Talk Gruesome To Me. 8 00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:03,000 Welcome in. You're dead. Let's go ahead and start with it. Now, what's next? 9 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:11,000 I know that kind of does sound weird and taboo, but believe me, we do have to think about what we're going to do with our loved ones after they pass, 10 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:19,000 and especially what we would like done with us. Yesterday while recording a minisode, we got on a rant and just had a conversation. 11 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:24,000 We stopped during the middle of it and I was like, wait, this is episode worthy. 12 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:36,000 Now disclaimer, these are our opinions. It can get graphic. We're discussing death and what happens to dead bodies and what our personal preferences should be and experiences we've had. 13 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:44,000 So if you do have little ears, you might want to use your discretion and listen when you're alone. 14 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:51,000 That's definitely something that I don't know if everybody wants their children to be listening to. What do you think, Dawn? 15 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:56,000 I mean, some kids are more mature and some should not listen to this. 16 00:01:56,000 --> 00:02:04,000 Yeah, there's some little ears that also, I don't know. I just wanted to put that in there,because I know a lot of you do have children that listen to us. 17 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:11,000 Back to the conversation we were having yesterday, I was kind of talking about how I'm just ready for something new. 18 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:21,000 I would like to get out of here. I would like to find a job that maybe isn't your normal, everyday kind of job. Something that I could do that's easy for my body. 19 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:29,000 And I'm going to enjoy, I'm going to love one of the things that I was thinking about. Like again, I said, this might be taboo. 20 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:34,000 But I would love to work on a makeup in the funeral home. 21 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:44,000 I would love to be able to make a person look the way they did when you last seen them. And that way you can actually think, yes, that's my loved one. 22 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:53,000 There's something about it for me when you walk into the funeral home to see someone who has passed, and they look like they did the last time you seen them. 23 00:02:53,000 --> 00:03:05,000 If they can perfect that little bit of a smile that just even does it more for me. It just makes them look more at peace and it's something that I've been in awe with ever since I was a little girl. 24 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:14,000 Now I was also telling Dawn of course to do the makeup right, I figure I would probably have to go to some kind of Cosmetology school. 25 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,000 But I would like to go a little bit further with that. 26 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:37,000 I would also like to get into makeup especially when you have some reconstructive- let me talk again. Re-constructive work that needs to be done. To me if you can take someone who has had an injury or something happened to them and fix them back to way they looked before. 27 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:45,000 That's just really, it's beautiful and it's an art. That's something else that I would like to learn as well. 28 00:03:45,000 --> 00:04:02,000 Now we also, like I was saying, was talking about our parent yesterday, I feel like when it comes to your loved ones, that is the last memory that you have of them. 29 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:14,000 And when someone does their job correctly and you can go in and see them laying there looking peacefully, there is a big closure there. 30 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:27,000 I know with my dad, I did get to have that. He was a burial of course, had an open casket. I saw him, I got to touch his hand, I got to say my goodbye. 31 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:38,000 That felt almost not like an ending, but just like a little close on that chapter. I don't know, it was just time to start healing. 32 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:43,000 I did that with everybody else, I had those experiences with everybody else that has passed in my family. 33 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:52,000 So when it come to my mom's passing in 2018, the money was a little bit tighter, we chose cremation. 34 00:04:52,000 --> 00:05:04,000 She did not get a viewing at her funeral and we just had the urn there. I did want to go ahead and add in the little bit of service, because mom would have definitely wanted that. 35 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:17,000 But in the end when I think about it, I didn't get to see mom there. I didn't get to see her laying there and something that I had picked out for her to wear looking pretty. 36 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:23,000 And her cheeks rose again, her lips colored, her hair fixed. I didn't get that final moment with her. 37 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:33,000 And to me, I don't know if I wish now that I had just done the open casket service and then sent off for cremation. 38 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,000 But also just to play devil's advocate. 39 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,000 Right. 40 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:45,000 Not everyone does a great job of makeup and you don't know that she would have looked like something that you would have wanted to see as your last memory. 41 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:49,000 Well, I do know this place would have, but you are 100% correct. 42 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,000 Yeah, you just never know how that's going to go. 43 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:57,000 I think that would also go to knowing who is taking care of your loved one. 44 00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:09,000 Right. And I think overall, probably for me, the biggest takeaway from this episode would be as a listener, get these things talked about in your family. 45 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:17,000 Even if you're 18 years old, things happen. You know, talk about this with your family. 46 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:24,000 You could even change your mind in 10 years. But then that means you need to have another conversation. 47 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,000 You want what you want. 48 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:38,000 If you're unsure, talk it through with people and make a decision because these are things that should matter and that should be done in the way that you want. 49 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:44,000 100%. You may think again that this is another thing that's strange. 50 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:58,000 But goodness, Hayden has known what we have wanted done and our wishes since he was 19 years old because he's just heard us speak about it. 51 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:13,000 And it's something that's talked about in our family because we understand that we're not going to be here forever. And we would like to, in the least, do as close as what we can, being as in what they wanted and what they needed done for them. 52 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:16,000 So it was done properly. 53 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:34,000 It doesn't matter what age. I feel like the conversation about death and dying is really taboo. And it shouldn't be. Everyone dies. Everyone is going to experience other people's death, whether it's friends, family, whoever. 54 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:49,000 It's, I feel like a conversation that should become more mainstream. Oh, I agree. I do. Gosh, death started young with me. My papaw passed away when I was in the third grade. 55 00:07:49,000 --> 00:08:03,000 So that funeral, he was, of course, open casket. I guess I wasn't your regular young child. I saw the awe in it because that was my papaw laying there. 56 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:14,000 It's what he was supposed to look like. And when he was put into the ground, he was laying there exactly like he would have been if he was just sleeping. 57 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:23,000 So to me, it was a close. I don't even know how to say it because when I say this, it sounds really harsh and I don't mean it harsh. 58 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:35,000 But in my little mind, I got to close that page and papaw was laying there like he would have been laying when he was alive in the bed, just sleeping in the ground. 59 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:47,000 So I guess that's why I look at it a little bit different as someone who does a good job and has your loved one looking the way they did once they were alive. 60 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:57,000 No, I get it. We just from the short conversation before we cut it off yesterday. Amy and I have very different opinions on this. 61 00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:03,000 Not only are they different, I think they're on the extreme ends of them. Her more traditional. 62 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,000 Yes. 63 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,000 And you're thinking it seems like. 64 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:21,000 So what we did for my dad, this was a few years ago, he he wasn't religious. He didn't go to church. I mean, I'm sure he did at points in his life, but not that I knew of. 65 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:37,000 And so my dad was really funny. His nickname was Laughing Larry. He was just this cool dude. And so we didn't think, and we this was something we didn't talk about. 66 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,000 So we didn't know, we had to guess. 67 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:47,000 We didn't think he would want people standing at a cemetery crying. That just wasn't his vibe. That wasn't his thing. 68 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:52,000 And he we just didn't think he would like that. So what we did. 69 00:09:52,000 --> 00:10:02,000 Well, I should say first, let me go back what my mom did was she had him embalmed and we had a showing one night at the funeral home. 70 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:12,000 And then we didn't have any services. We didn't have the cemetery. Approximately. It was within the week. I don't know a few days later. 71 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:19,000 We had rented out this amazing Shallay looking place in one of our metro parks in Toledo. 72 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:31,000 He loved bloody marys. So we had a bloody mary bar and we played 50s music because he always had on 50s on five in his car, which is like the Sirus 50s station. 73 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:40,000 So we just played that and everyone hung out outside and we just did a true celebration of life for him. 74 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:47,000 Even after looking back, that was perfect. I love that. 75 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:58,000 Yeah, it's very different. It's not what you would call traditional clearly. But from my niece passing away, she was very young, she was four. 76 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:06,000 That was so traumatic that whole experience. So you're going through this awful thing. She was murdered. 77 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:13,000 And you have to deal with all of that and the cops and the dispatcher who put it in incorrectly. 78 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:24,000 There's just so much going on and now you have to plan a fucking funeral. Right. It's too much. And then, I don't know if this happened to us. I don't remember. 79 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:41,000 But then on top of that, you have the cost. The costs of funerals are insane and people cannot afford it. And I have a huge issue with how much it costs to have a funeral. 80 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:52,000 I forgot to go back to the showing of my dad. I didn't like it. I didn't want it. I don't think people don't to me. 81 00:11:52,000 --> 00:12:00,000 A lot of times, people don't look like the person when they were alive. And I personally, I don't want that as my last memory. 82 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:07,000 So that's kind of very opposite of you where you want to see them in peace and know that they're somewhere good. 83 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:13,000 For me, I'm like, this doesn't really look like you. This is stupid. Why are we doing this? 84 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:26,000 And my niece really didn't look like herself. And I remember that clearly. And that was years and years ago, especially for kids, I feel like funerals are traumatic. 85 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:39,000 I don't think we should have funerals in general. It's too... The situations are stressful as they are dealing with grief and death in general. 86 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:53,000 And you get all these people together and everyone's crying. And I'm not saying obviously you shouldn't grieve because clearly I've been through plenty of grief like I get that process. 87 00:12:53,000 --> 00:13:01,000 But I feel like we should be celebrating people more than morning, if that makes sense. 88 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:13,000 I definitely understand that. And back to like the difference between maybe someone who passes away, let's say today and your niece, you are 100% right. 89 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:26,000 There has been so much upgrade, we will call it, I guess, in the way and the techniques that they have to make our loved ones look a little better. 90 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:41,000 Well I do get that. Was papaw probably laying there like if I've seen him now as now 42 years old as I've remembered. And probably not. There's probably some flaws here and there that I didn't notice in my little head. 91 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:49,000 But I will say that that funeral home that took care of the majority of our family did do a pretty decent job. 92 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:58,000 I don't know, I just didn't I guess it's the difference of me not having a bad experience at a viewing if that makes sense. 93 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:09,000 I've now seen some shows or photos or whatever you of people who have had really bad experiences. I just personally have not had one of those. 94 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:22,000 No, and I know that my views are left field. People want probably tradition and they feel like that's what they should be doing when their loved ones pass. 95 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:32,000 So I'm aware that my view of we shouldn't have funerals because they're traumatic is not normal and not the way that most people probably feel. 96 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:43,000 I just think hanging around talking about that person celebrating whatever was about them, talking about the great things. That's what I want to focus on. 97 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:51,000 I don't want to sit in a room with a bunch of people just crying and standing over a casket at a cemetery. 98 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:58,000 I don't know after my niece again. I don't know, maybe it was the trauma from it. I've probably only been to two other funerals. 99 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:10,000 Yeah, which is shitty. There are few that I probably should have gone to but I was like no, I don't want this. I don't think I can handle that. Even years later. 100 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:23,000 Yeah, I mean, I definitely I'm not a fan of them. It's very sad and every funeral that I've ever been to you can pitch your head right now. You walk in. There's flowers all around. 101 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:35,000 There's the video of the person that you're going to see when they was at their best times having, you know, their best life. There's people crying, standing. It's so cluttered and clustered. 102 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:48,000 You can't hardly get to the front. And then there they are with somebody that you have to try to find the proper thing to say to comfort them. And yeah, it's all the same. 103 00:15:48,000 --> 00:16:01,000 It's very uncomfortable. Yes, I was just going to say it's so uncomfortable, but it's just from Kentucky and it's just like you unsaid you have to do that around here. 104 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:12,000 And there are things that make sense like having that support system and knowing that people are there for you, but doesn't have to be at a cry fest funeral. 105 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:27,000 It can be at a celebration of life. Of course, I know you talk about the celebration of life. And I'm talking over here about the mourning of life, two totally different ways to look at funerals. 106 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:46,000 You also have to stop and think about cultures, religions. There is so many different ways that people can do celebrations or mornings. Because it's pretty, like you said it's pretty cut down the middle. You're either mourning or you're celebrating. 107 00:16:46,000 --> 00:17:00,000 On that note, I'll say that a couple of times when I've gone to New Orleans, I've gone to second lines, which I know seems kind of weird. Why are you going to a stranger celebration of life? 108 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:08,000 But okay, wait, I'm going to stop you because that's probably another thing somebody is going to be listening and asking what is a second line? 109 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:25,000 Oh, a second line. Let me explain first before I go into what we did. So, a second line is typically I think is Southern because I had seen videos of them when I was searching what to do in New Orleans. 110 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:38,000 I had seen them before, but hadn't really focused on it. I just fell in love with the tradition and it's basically a parade celebrating the person who's passed. 111 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:48,000 And the whole community comes out and everyone just walks around the block. They'll have coolers with drinks and loud music. 112 00:17:48,000 --> 00:18:07,000 Like one of the ones that I went to, they had a band on a float playing. It was amazing. Yes, it just felt like sort of how I feel of what we should do when someone passes is have a party or some kind of celebration. 113 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:19,000 I know the couple of times that I went to New Orleans, I went to second lines, which again, I know sounds a little odd, but it was something I wanted to experience and wanted to experience twice apparently. 114 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:28,000 And I think not only is it Southern, but I think it might be also typically an African American type of celebration. I'm not 100% on that. 115 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:42,000 But I guess I can do some research and see I didn't expect to talk about this, but here we are. That's cool. Okay, so would you be willing to experience it a third time because we might have to experience that someday? I would honestly love to. 116 00:18:42,000 --> 00:19:02,000 Yes, I those were some of my favorite parts of the times that I went to New Orleans and people will dress up. There is a picture I have a woman in full. She almost looked like a dancer at the Flamingo Hotel in Las Vegas. 117 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:12,000 Full head dress, the whole feathers everywhere. I mean people get decked out. It's such an amazing experience. 118 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:25,000 Now that you're saying that, I've got a picture up on my wall of Bones. The Day of the Dead leader. Yeah, yeah, I've got a picture of him up on the wall too. I love everything about New Orleans. 119 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:48,000 We went this is off topic. So you know ADHD. I'm over here. I went and visited New Orleans. I only got to go for a couple of hours a few years ago, but I wanted to drive over from Orange Beach and just experience it. Oh, my goodness. I fell in love. It was hot. It was hotter than hot, but I found a little apartment that was for rent. I could have lived there. 120 00:19:48,000 --> 00:20:12,000 Shannon just was not willing to move and it's because of the hurricanes. It's darn it, I agree. So I can't go. The people are so nice. But I don't know. There's something about the second line. The two times that I did go. I was like, you know what? I would love if this is what I had. This is not what I have written down as what I want, but this is definitely something I would do. 121 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:34,000 Okay, so what if you wanted that and you wrote that down as how you wanted your celebration of life to be, what would happen if someone from out of town approached whoever you would approach and asked for that? I wonder could you do that? I don't know. 122 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:47,000 That's something you might have to look into. Well, I have a different plan, but either one would work for me. Could you see Shannon and I and Tim and Carly and Evan all out there doing this. 123 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:57,000 Yeah, so I'm ready. Where are the aliens? Take me now. We just make sure that you don't pass away close to a hurricane. Right. Not an hurricane season. 124 00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:20,000 We can't. Yeah, we can't. We'll have to hang on to you. And I can tell you so my plan that I have written down and Evan knows all this obviously is I want a party similar to a wedding reception where there's a DJ with bad dancing and drinks food. 125 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:37,000 I want to MC by a drag queen, specifically if Misty Violet if she around, I would like her to do it. So I have a DJ, a drag queen, and a party at the Bell Mansion. Sure. 126 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:47,000 How cool would that be? That works. That would be pretty awesome. Yeah, so mine is very specific. 127 00:21:47,000 --> 00:22:04,000 I don't want a funeral. I don't want a showing. I don't want anything. I don't want people sad. I want a genuine celebration of life. Maybe four years ago, I saw this new way of dealing with bodies, which was human composting. 128 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:21,000 It takes 30 days. They compost you into soil and then that place specifically was in Seattle. And it's becoming more commonplace. I think a couple of other states do it now. But there's a there's a park or a forest near that place. 129 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:37,000 So they will either take your dirt from your body and put it in that forest or you can give it to your loved ones. Now is that similar to what I shared on our Paranormal Couple page the other day, where you go in the like the little pods through the big thing? 130 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:53,000 Yeah, I like that. I do. Do you know how much was the price of it? Do you know? So it was around 5,000 at the time. And I'm sure it's still similar to that. So it's no more expensive probably than a normal cremation funeral type thing. 131 00:22:53,000 --> 00:23:05,000 I do like that idea. I do. I like that. It's extremely eco friendly. I have a car that plugs in and I'm a vegetarian. So might as well continue being a goth hippie even a death rate. 132 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:20,000 Might as well. Shannon and I have said a many times we are running out of places to bury individuals where where's the land? 133 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:27,000 It's all being bought up and where are you going to start burying people because we're just we're making people by day guys. 134 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:42,000 Yep. We're just running out. So there is going to have to be more greener different options. There's got to be. Yeah. And we like I said my mom had the showing, which I didn't love. 135 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:54,000 And then he was cremated. So we have all these things that we had made with his ashes. We had these little globes which are so cool. 136 00:23:54,000 --> 00:24:09,000 You just put it up on your shelf and it sits there and dad's always there. We had necklaces made with his ashes. Lighters like we had all kinds of stuff made and again those things are really overpriced. 137 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:17,000 Right. And taking advantage of people. But that's what we wanted to do. So we spent the money. I was employed at the time. 138 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:27,000 That's exactly what Hayden wants to do with our ashes because Shannon and I are wanting to be cremated as well. I don't know. 139 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:42,000 I don't know if I want a showing or a viewing, whatever you want to call it because why do you, really just this is me. Of course I find peace in it, but let me turn around and completely talk opposite for myself of what I like. 140 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:50,000 Why do you want to come look at me when you probably never even come look at me in several years months or you know it's just weird. 141 00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:59,000 But then again you stop and think if you pass away God forbid when you're young. Would that help people, like would that help Hayden. 142 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:03,000 Yeah but you can show support to someone without a body. 143 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:19,000 You can, but remember where I'm from. We have to come back into Kentucky for that part, but maybe if I relocate that could be completely different. I can just become a beautiful little compost that can one day bring nutrients to a tree. 144 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:34,000 And again I feel like the human composting thing is a little left field and a little different outside of the box clearly not traditional in any way, but nothing else that I think about death and dying in funerals is. 145 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:41,000 Well think about how the tradition is soon going to be done. Any where we could put on. Where are they going to go. 146 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:54,000 So we're going to have to come up with other options and if we as okay I'm just going to be pretty blunt here we as humans destroy everything that we touch. 147 00:25:54,000 --> 00:26:10,000 So why not at the end, I do like that idea because, why not at the end can we not give back just a little bit of ourselves to help with this world that Lord we've done so much to destroy. 148 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:21,000 So I do like that, right and you can do it at your own home and be there forever. No or your family is home you know what I mean. 149 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:35,000 Take me to a forest. Well that too you can do it however you want that's the beauty of it you can be wherever but for instance the house that I grew up in I purchased I don't know six years ago or so. 150 00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:50,000 And we planted a little maple tree in the front yard so I would want a little bit of my self to be on that little maple tree I agree yeah I love that technically if you want to ask me where I would like to end up that would be in the ocean. 151 00:26:50,000 --> 00:27:02,000 Oh yeah I could see that for you that's where I feel my best, so I don't know maybe it had to be a water burial because I don't you don't really want to put my soil in the water. 152 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:24,000 Water burials are so weird to me I don't know why I mean it's not traditional clearly but you put yourself out there and likely you're going to get eaten by I don't know what sharks fish something I don't know it's okay or what if you don't and your body just stays in the ocean like I don't know. 153 00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:44,000 I really took goodness I'd be tasty enough for something to eat not me I'm like this skinny ass little thing. I've got enough on, you get a couple of, yeah I got some good back straps and all that yeah they eat me. I don't have to worry about that, I'm not helping any fish stay alive. 154 00:27:44,000 --> 00:28:08,000 I'm got them, but yeah I don't know I would like to be even in the least if you you can do the cremains, cremains in the water you can have it scheduled and set up to where it's a good day to have them spread and they actually take you out there to do that too so maybe I wouldn't have to leave my destiny being to if shark was going to eat me or not. 155 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:37,000 Oh you know what else I think is something becoming a little more mainstream a little is not having a burial space you know no headstone you just your ashes are given to your family and they can do whatever they want they can have things made they can have an urns sitting there but you don't have a traditional headstone or like even a mausoleum space or anything and I think that's becoming more traditional. 156 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:56,000 Probably partly because of the cost yeah it's expensive I do have two plots. I guess my family, you could say when it, we're burial family. That's just what we do. My Tony, I didn't call him grandfather or papaw. 157 00:28:56,000 --> 00:29:25,000 He was my grandfather, but he passed away way before I was born. Tony and my mama Ruby purchased a whole plot back way before I was born, I don't even know if there's any slots for whatever you wouldn't call it a slot, any plots left in that one. But I do know that the one that my nana and papaw purchased, I have two there I have one for me and one for my partner will I go probably not I don't 158 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:36,000 really want and it don't feel right either, I don't want that either well, and here's the really weird thing because you and I both go to 159 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:46,000 cemeteries and investigate I don't go visit my family at the cemetery I do because I really enjoy that cemetery but I'm like you don't have 160 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:58,000 to go there and so many people are confused. Well, why do you go to cemeteries you think they’re there? No, they're not I can do this down the highway at the tree 161 00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:06,000 down past the barn, it doesn't matter where you're at. You don't have to be at a certain location, you don't have to be a haunted house, you don't 162 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:16,000 have to be at a cemetery. I could open up a spirit box right now. The reason why we go to cemeteries is because we just like 163 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:27,000 them. In 2020, there was nowhere you could go and I love cemeteries I've grown up in cemeteries sadly so yeah I don't really want to be 164 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:35,000 in a cemetery. Just because I like them, don’t mean I want to be there, you know? Right, they're peaceful I like going and even 165 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:44,000 just sitting there for hour like I'll go to the ones here in Los Angeles and just sit there because there are some that are 166 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:54,000 gorgeous and they have ponds and they're just so pretty I want to go so bad I will go and visit other people, 167 00:30:54,000 --> 00:31:08,000 but I have never gone to visit my niece my dad. That's just not where I want to remember them, again it's not if I want to talk to them I do it here I do it 168 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:20,000 wherever I am at the time that I want to talk to them I don't need to be at their grave to do that and again this is just how I feel I know clearly not everyone thinks that and they 169 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:30,000 feel like they want to go to a grave, that's okay. Yeah, go as much as you want or as little as you want we do not believe that your 170 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:37,000 loved one is standing there at that grave waiting for you. Your loved one is where you are, again these are all just our 171 00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:48,000 opinions, especially mine haha. I like that laugh, that was so cute. Mine are a little out there. No, no it's not and why I say it's not 172 00:31:48,000 --> 00:32:03,000 it's because I think it's an amazing thing that we are doing by coming up with different ways to dispose of remains we don't need them once we pass away all 173 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:12,000 of this right here it's just going to right, it's going to decompose. So why not take the part of me that I'm done with 174 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:21,000 and put it back to something that I've already taken away from? So, I kind of do really like the option of the greener 175 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:34,000 burials. I'm saying right now I want to be cremated you can go right over here to Indiana cross the money saving bridge and that's really what they call it and you can get a cremation for $1,500. 176 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:44,000 That was just what I was going to do, because I don't really care about this anymore. I've used what I've done. Lord it's it's held me up good, it's got me 177 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:54,000 through life, but I'm done with it now. Now as we said, and we talk we discuss new types of burials. I see videos of people 178 00:32:54,000 --> 00:33:01,000 sharing different ways that you can be buried especially, Lauren the Mortician. If you do not follow her, make sure that 179 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:08,000 check marks there of course she has so many people that pretend to be her, but she also will share a lot of different ways for you to be 180 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:18,000 put to rest and a lot of them are pretty interesting. I see all this stuff and I'm like do I really want to be cremated right now? 181 00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:27,000 I'm at that as Dawn was talking about you've made your mind up but who's not to say that you might not change it a few years 182 00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:37,000 down the road, so I'm not exactly sure what I do want. I do know that if I passed away right now sitting here in front of you, 183 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:46,000 if Shannon had me cremated I would be 100% fine with that. It doesn't matter, but it's nice to know that I have other 184 00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:55,000 options. Especially, options to where I can give back where I've took so much from. Obviously the human composting is the most 185 00:33:55,000 --> 00:34:06,000 eco-friendly yes, and then cremation which does make gases, so it's not as eco-friendly as human composting, but it's more eco-friendly than embalming. 186 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:14,000 True. You know cremation is kind of in the middle, there and clearly much more easily accessible than human composting, 187 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:19,000 because like I said I think it's only legal currently in a few different states 188 00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:29,000 and a lot of people they think, oh well how's burial hurting the land, and how are we tearing things up by putting a casket in the ground? 189 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:40,000 Because whether you think about it or not,these bodies do have chemicals in them. As they do what they do in the wild and decompose, 190 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:50,000 they are going to leak into that casket and whether you think that casket's going to last forever or not, it's not. It's going to become little holes 191 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:59,000 and deteriorated just as the body does, and that's just going right back into the ground. So you're still leaking out it might not affect you, 192 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:07,000 it might not affect your children, but it might might affect your children's children's children. We don't know what could possibly happen. 193 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:16,000 Right, embalming fluid is incredibly strong and toxic. Yes, and it's not like okay well that's just a little bit of fluid. 194 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:24,000 And I'm not sitting here saying, oh it's horrible to bury. I'm just looking at other ways that you can look at it. 195 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:30,000 As many people as we have in the ground, that's a lot of fluid a lot of fluid. I agree, 196 00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:43,000 I have many personal reasons to not like embalming and bodies and bodies that funerals and all of it, so you're preaching to the choir. 197 00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:55,000 If I was going to be buried, I would not want to be embalmed. So if you were going to do a showing for me, you better get the show on the road Jack. 198 00:35:55,000 --> 00:36:02,000 I do not want to need that stuff in me, you don't even have to take my insides out just you know, because what does it matter? 199 00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:09,000 Why would I want to put all that extra junk in me anyways? Just throw me in the little pine box, cover me up pat me down. 200 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:17,000 I don't need it anymore. Within a day. Yeah, because you better, I'm gonna smell kind of bad. 201 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:23,000 Yeah literally, within a day. You don't have much time with this one, she doesn't want to be embalmed. 202 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:33,000 I don't know, I just I think all that's weird. I don't want you pulling my eyeballs out I don't want you sewing my butt hole up, or whatever you do. 203 00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:41,000 It's just weird, just throw me in there. Here's the thing too, when you go to a funeral home to plan a funeral 204 00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:49,000 and you're deciding what do, I don't know that funeral homes are telling you all the trauma that they do to a body when they embalmed. 205 00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:57,000 And I don't think we should talk about it on here, only because we could do a separate episode with very big disclaimers. 206 00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:06,000 Not everyone wants to hear. Why don’t we find a mortician? Yeah. That would be perfect, that way we could learn as well. 207 00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:15,000 I would be totally into that, because that's something I would like to possibly have a chance to do one day. 208 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:21,000 I thought about, I don't want to do it here. I don't want to do it, because I don't really want to stay where I'm at right now. 209 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:30,000 But when I get to where I'm going, I would really like to start knocking on funeral home doors and maybe somebody would give me a chance to do some training. 210 00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:44,000 I just feel like that conversation should be consensual and not in this episode, it should be something where people know we're going into very graphic embalming talk. 211 00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:48,000 Here's what you're getting yourself into before you click play 212 00:37:48,000 --> 00:38:03,000 and I'm not even saying funeral homes, I mean people going through death and dying and grief are in such a weird head space that you know maybe funeral homes don't want to tell you everything that goes on when you get embalmed. 213 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:11,000 You are already going through so much mentally you just need to make decisions and get this thing planned you know. 214 00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:19,000 I'm not going to say it's terrible, but I wish people knew. Which is why I want to talk about this. 215 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:27,000 I honestly as you are saying your sentence kind of wondering to myself how many people even think about it? 216 00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:28,000 None 217 00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:35,000 Yeah I never thought about it what are you going to do to mama you know before you bury her? What are you going to do to dad? 218 00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:47,000 Yeah it's just the unspoken word as I left Townsend's Funeral Home, Amy I'm going to take care of your mama, I'm going to take care of your daddy. 219 00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:54,000 So, I get what you're saying, it's yeah it's just not something, it's taboo again. 220 00:38:54,000 --> 00:39:05,000 Yeah and this whole entire conversation takes me back to Christina's episode which was obviously a completely different situation, 221 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:10,000 we're obviously talking about normal deaths not crimes that kind of thing. 222 00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:20,000 These two episodes are definitely not linked whatsoever. They are totally, let's just for the moment they're not even in the same ballpark. 223 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:30,000 Yeah right, I thought of that several times during this conversation. So I just want to be very clear that that's a whole different situation 224 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:34,000 Yeah this is normal death and dying your daily topic. 225 00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:41,000 Yeah, I just didn't want to minimize that. No because that episode, it's 226 00:39:41,000 --> 00:40:00,000 horrific. That should of never happened, we are going to keep light, love, prayers, positive vibes, thoughts. I don't know what you give out. But, we're going to give them out, that will never happen again in Colorado. 227 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:11,000 Yeah and if this is your first listening to us, or you didn't hear those episodes we put it into a part one and part two and their episodes 15 and 16. 228 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:17,000 If you didn't hear those, oh my gosh you really need to go back and listen. 229 00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:20,000 Yeah and here we are what episode is this one now? 230 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:26,000 I have no idea. Okay this is probably okay that was 15, 16, maybe 18. 231 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:35,000 I feel like maybe 20ish, okay well even at 20, this is going to be of course put out a little bit later than what we're recording it, 232 00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:49,000 but we're still sitting here with that case in Colorado and it's wide open. There's no resolution, now so please if it's not your normal thoughts and prayers for the family, 233 00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:59,000 let's definitely push those thoughts and prayers so that this does not happen again to anyone in Colorado because this is unspeakable. 234 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:11,000 Yeah there's so many laws that can change where this won't happen and there's so much education, Maybe it would be a good idea to get a reputable 235 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:22,000 mortician, of some sort who can give us a rundown of the things that should happen during a normal passing. 236 00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:32,000 I would love that. I think that's a great idea. Yep. That's on the to-do list to look for a reputable trusted mortician. I know who I want but... 237 00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:39,000 I know too if we can't get Lauren the Mortician. If not, my cousin owns a funeral home and he's a mortician. 238 00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:51,000 That's perfect too. Yeah that works. We'll try her. I love the way that she can just get in there and explain what I need to know and I understand it. 239 00:41:51,000 --> 00:42:00,000 And I like how she will demonstrate. So yeah, we can try. We'll try to reach out to Lauren. Miss Lauren if you don't follow Lauren the Mortician, 240 00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:09,000 like I said look for that blue check mark. There are way too many fake profiles of her on Facebook. I do believe is Facebook her main. I think so. 241 00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:20,000 I actually don't follow her. I'm not sure, but I do want to say if you are going to look her up and listen to her content. It's graphic. Yeah, she's real. She's real. 242 00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:29,000 So no, it's graphic just be prepared. Yeah, she's real with her information. Oh, I got what you're saying. Yeah she's real. 243 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:41,000 Like you ask a question that most people would think not to ask she's going to feature that question because everybody wants to know, but they don't want to ask. I like that about her she's real. 244 00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:52,000 And I know she started a podcast too. Yeah let's put out a post at some point when we get someone booked on your page and see what questions people would ask. 245 00:42:52,000 --> 00:43:03,000 Yeah I think that's I think that's important because the first way to keep things like that happen in is knowledge and education. 246 00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:09,000 So yeah, I'm definitely down get those laws changed and get everybody educated the more you know. 247 00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:19,000 And definitely tell us what you think do you think I'm crazy do you love my ideas, or do you just want tradition always forever. 248 00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:32,000 Just let us know, we're on all the socials and we would love to hear what everyone else thinks about funerals and death and dying, and all of the things we talked about today. 249 00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:40,000 I don't know, we've got to go to New Orleans. Your third time's got to be we got to go through that I would like to experience it. 250 00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:45,000 Yeah I would go to that all the time if I lived there. 251 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:50,000 Well maybe one day we can do some traveling. Sure, I'm in I'm ready. 252 00:43:50,000 --> 00:44:02,000 Now I think this was a good accidental podcast and it comes into another possibly needed podcast so, yeah I love it. 253 00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:09,000 I do too. Well thanks everybody we'll meet back here in a week. Bye. See you later. 254 00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:21,000 Thanks for making it to the end and hanging out with us. Keep on the lookout for our next episode, and Stay Gruesome. 255 00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:24,340 [MUSIC PLAYING]