Bob Wilkie: Sideways

In this episode of Airdrie Inside, Chris Glass sits down with Bob Wilkie, President of I Got Mind. Bob isn't just a survivor of the Swift Current Broncos 1986 bus crash tragedy; he’s the architect of a new narrative in sports. He’s moving the needle from suffering in silence to a systemic revolution in how we train the minds of our athletes and community leaders.

See the Sideways documentary at 6:30 p.m. on Monday, June 15 at Venue Church in Airdrie.

Tickets here: https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/sideways-the-documentary-airdrie-mental-health-fundraiser-tickets-1987753260511?utm_experiment=test_share_listing&aff=ebdsshios&sg=95d60da5b1db36093100c413c691178693d39d95f1fdf87963d62c5b4f7d2acdb7315fb812b697600e4666fa8c8f344fd337fd491c1af5e37009152b709c0010f55fa568564770a29a4fd467

Support I Got Mind: https://igotmind.ca/

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

It it's easy to lose the joy when you're constantly being told what to do because I don't know how you are, Chris. I'm not a big fan of being told what to do all the time.

SPEAKER_02 0:12

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of Airdrie Inside. I am your host, Chris Glass, and I am here at RivalAxe. Joni from Rival Axe has graciously allowed us our space again. This facility is beautiful and you should come check it out. They have axe throwing, they've got billiards, they've got great drinks, and most of the time they've got great live music. So check out RivalAxe here in Airdrie. My guest today is the legendary Bob Wilkie.

SPEAKER_01 0:37

Bob, welcome to the show. Yeah, excited to be here, Chris. And you know what? This is a great place. So if you haven't checked it out, it really is cool.

SPEAKER_02 0:44

Well, I'm sure Joni's going to appreciate the plug here. Uh I'm so excited to have you on the podcast. Uh, I had the ability to see you speak at the 100 Men Who Give a Damn here in Airdrie, and I was very moved by your story. And I was hoping to expand on it and tell a little bit long version of it. Uh, so I'm really glad you're here today. So thank you for coming.

SPEAKER_01 1:06

Yeah, excited to be here. You know, um, long history in Airdrie, too, thinking about it, and I know that you're all about Airdrie people. Uh, I've watched this town grow up, you know, being a native Calgarian. Right. And, you know, so many times uh spoken with the Chamber of Commerce, done work with some of the local companies, um, the local hockey teams. Yeah, you know, just it's such a great community. So I'm really thrilled to be here.

SPEAKER_02 1:29

Well, and uh uh the plug for airdree, uh we went from 26,000 people when I first moved here to the 95,000 that we're here now. Uh we are a great growing community, and uh it's not just that place north of Calgary anymore.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

So it's nice to see it carving out its own identity. And you know, my experiences recently, especially with the hundred men, um you know, just to community care. Yeah, it reminds me a lot of what Calgary used to be growing up. Um, that unfortunately you lose anytime anything gets bigger like that, you know, you're gonna lose that feel. And uh it's nice to kind of feel it in airdre.

SPEAKER_02 2:05

Yeah, it's it's good to see. And uh I'm so glad to have you on to talk about some of the projects you're working on uh and give a little bit of story about your history and the journey that you've taken. So you have a movie uh coming up called Sideways, uh that's gonna be premiering here in the city, not premiering, but it's gonna be screened here in the city. Uh, you have a great organization with I Got Mind. Uh tell us a little bit about yourself and and what got you motivated to start this. So why don't we go back to uh your roots here?

SPEAKER_01 2:37

Yeah, uh you know, how how I got mind started was through the healing process. Yeah. Um, you know, I've always been a risk taker in my life. And, you know, putting myself out there, I was always willing to do that to achieve the things that I thought I could achieve. Right. And so as a young athlete, you know, like every Canadian boy, I wanted to be a professional hockey player. And, you know, went through that whole gamut and a lot of scarring, a lot of damage, a lot of wounds that really, really messed me up and took me to a place that I never thought I would be, Chris, you know, um, to the to the lowest, darkest points that, you know, I spent so much time just wondering, like, how the hell did I end up here? Yeah. Um, because this was not me, but I didn't know how to get out of it. And, you know, the healing process began probably 1997. Uh, had really struggled after an injury. Doctors told me I shouldn't play anymore. My career was done, my identity was gone. Right. And yeah, some of the stuff that was going on for me personally, you know, just not thinking that I really wanted to be here anymore. Yeah. Was uh again, how the hell did I end up here? Yeah. You go from everything's so good to all of a sudden you feel like you have nothing and and and there's no value in you anymore. And so I started down that journey of healing and I started to learn little bits and pieces. And it was really cool because all of a sudden I I knew things now. Um, and I and I could I could get through some of the stuff before that had kind of kept me paralyzed a little bit. And I was coaching young men at the time. Uh, this was around 2006, so six years of of really intense, dedicated learning, improvements, feeling good, was a father of two now. Um, you know, life was starting to make sense again. It was pretty cool. And then I was coaching these young men, and I started to teach them some of the things that I was learning. And I could see the light bulbs going on because they were in that place in life where they had to make decisions and, you know, whether they were liked by their peer groups and all these different things that I had struggled with. And I started to teach them, you know, different things of how you could do those, and it really amplified their game, how they felt about themselves. They were achieving things, they were going on to great things. And I knew that I was kind of on to something, and that's when I got mine started. So developed some programming around how you teach young people uh the mental and emotional side of achieving and all the demands. And so it's just been a wonderful 20-year journey ever since that.

SPEAKER_02 5:00

Now, we talked a little bit off camera about how uh coaching and and the game has changed, and you really identified uh four specific kind of changes over the last 20 years, and mental health is such a big part of it, and that that safety, that institutional safety of of your team that was really missing. I I think when you grew up, and definitely when I grew up coming up in sports until I got to high school where I had a pretty transformational coach who kind of taught me that that safety was such a big part of it. Uh let's talk about your your junior hockey involvement and and going back a little bit on what that environment was like.

SPEAKER_01 5:40

Yeah, you know, the environment probably from the age of 12 was quite toxic. Yeah. Um, highly competitive, you know, and anytime we're in competitive mode as human beings, of course, it's me or you, Chris. You know, I love you like a brother, but I'll slit your throat. Somebody's gonna win, it's gonna be me. And, you know, not knowing how to navigate that um very much hockey was uh community for me, you know, being around my teammates, I loved it. Um, the challenge, I loved it. Uh the demands and the expectations as they started to show up, didn't love those. Um it got real hard, real confusing. Uh, you know, you get into quadrant hockey at 13, 14, so you're having some success, you're getting uh notified, you know, people are kind of recognizing hey, this kid's got some talent and ability. And um again, very unhealthy cultures, you know, because it was so super competitive. So uh, and we were winning to boot. I was learning how to win, which was really good for me, but it also showed me what people do to win. You know, there's that phrase win at all costs. Yeah. And that was a part of our cultures, unfortunately, where we would, you know, sacrifice each other a little bit from time to time. Coaches definitely putting way too much pressure on young people who had no idea how to perform at that level. Um, so it became really hard to manage. And, you know, three, four, five years getting into junior hockey at 16 years old, I I was still learning, but I was expected to know all this stuff. And so it was really frustrating because it wasn't a culture of education, patience, support until you get it right. It was demands, threatening um consequences that didn't make any sense. That manipulation. Yeah. So, you know, you're growing up in a culture where there's a lot of mixed messages going on. You know, one person is saying this, the other person is saying that, but then you don't see any of it going on. So it's like, how the hell do I function in this? So, you know, developed a lot of uh unhealthy coping mechanisms to live in these toxic cultures that were definitely the beginning of the end for me.

SPEAKER_02 7:42

Now, and you played at a pretty iconic uh WHL team with the Swift Current Broncos, uh, a very rich history, and I I mean the obvious situation in in with the bus crash, and even the coach at the time with Graham James being the coach. Uh, can you walk me through that experience? Because I think it's important to get that in order to tell the rest of the story. I don't want to get too hung up on the outside of it.

SPEAKER_01 8:06

But it was an interesting time. Like it really is a fascinating part of my story. Uh, 17 years old, just came off a great year with the Calgary Wranglers, was ranked to go in the first round of the NHL draft the next year. So super excited. Played for Team Canada that summer. Um, everything was going in the right direction. So I start the season in Calgary, I think everything's great. After one game, I get traded to Swift Current, and I was devastated. I uh I had never had that experience before. Um and and I and it was just a really difficult time because I was I was living at home, you know what I mean? I had all my friends, and now what does this mean?

SPEAKER_02 8:43

Yeah, this whole support structure here in Calgary.

SPEAKER_01 8:46

And and it was really interesting because we were playing Swift that night when I got traded. So one of the deals was I couldn't play that night. They didn't want me playing against them after they just traded me because they knew that I that I would definitely react to that. So I had to sit and and I and I remember meeting Graham James for the first time. And and you know, you meet a lot of people in your life, Chris, especially when you put yourself out there. And this was one individual that I've never had this happen before or since, where my stomach flipped.

SPEAKER_03 9:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:15

And I didn't know what that was, and it really got my attention and was tough, you know, because we took the night and we went home and we talked about okay, what's the future look like? Like, uh, I don't want to go, but I I couldn't not go, you know, I'm that close to my dream. So um, but that in the back of my mind, always wondering about Graham James. And and so I left, uh, I moved to Swift. Um so fortunate to get the billet family that I did. You know, Billets can be our savior, right for sure. And and that billet family was mine. Um, but as things progressed, it he revealed himself to me as another very unsafe individual. I couldn't pinpoint what it was, um, but I knew that there was something different about him. And so it was tough because I knew that I had to put myself out there to get drafted and do really well. But I also didn't feel safe with this individual to the point where I felt comfortable being me. And so it created a lot more conflict for me, which really made me struggle. Being home away from home, homesickness. So that first half of being traded was was really difficult. And then, you know, came back from Christmas, Joe Sakik was there, he was having a good year, I was having a decent year, um, Ryan McGill, Peter Soberlack. So there were four of us that were in the first two rounds of the conversation. So we had a really uh talented uh opportunity. Some of the older guys, Chris Mantica was doing well, Scotty Kruger, Trent Cressy. So we like we had things moving. We were super excited to come back and then December 30th, 1986, uh five minutes out of Swift, doing 50 kilometers an hour, driving real slow. You guys get the roads out here where it's windswept and shitty and and just caught an ice patch and and that changed everybody's life forever.

SPEAKER_02 10:58

I I I couldn't imagine uh one of our first guests on the show, um about 10 guests in was Ryan Strazinski uh from Humbled. And uh it's uh ironic that today's green shirt day uh in honor of of that situation. But I I was always amazed when I talked to Ryan about how he just kept looking forward and just kept moving forward. Uh what was moving forward for those people who were going through that situation? Like how especially with uh a leader and a coach that you didn't trust and that you had to build walls to protect yourself against.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

Yeah, it was difficult moving forward. Um a lot of us really struggled with it. You know, because we yeah, we were just wired differently, where those relationships were important to us. And when we didn't have that, it it caused a lot of challenges. You know, seeing what we saw uh messed a lot of us up, knowing that there was the void, those guys weren't there anymore. Yeah. Um just not things you're prepared for, right? You you don't deal with that kind of grief and loss at that age, no, especially playing hockey, right? Like you're pretty shielded from a lot of stuff, and so it was it was a real slap in the face. Um, and we didn't move forward um as well as we could have. We we still made playoffs, which is crazy to even think about. Yeah. Because we, you know, a couple players quit too, you know. So we not only lost the four who were in the accident, but we lost another three that just said, that's enough for me. Yeah, they just had enough. Yeah, they couldn't deal with it. How do you deal with that? Right. Yeah. Um, so together, together was, and that's one of the things that we talk about it sideways, you know, in the screenings after where we we have a fireside chat and we we talk about the importance of community because it was is how we bonded together after that, the time that we spent, the tears that we shed, um, the silent conversations that we had with each other around what we were feeling and suffering with. It just uh it allowed us to keep moving forward. And uh, we all got drafted. Um I didn't get drafted where I was originally supposed to, but still drafted and yeah, it was hard. I just didn't give a shit anymore, Chris, to be honest. Uh, you know, that day was supposed to be the happiest, but it it it sure wasn't.

SPEAKER_02 13:09

And then you go to the NHL, like you said, this was supposed to be your dream, this was supposed to be everything you wanted it to be, and it's not. Uh, walk me through what that experience is like. Because that takes it to a whole nother level when it comes to pressure and temptation and uh consequences being sheltered. Like walk me through that.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

Yeah, you know, the last year uh in Swift there was a pretty good year. We had really good success. I think we only lost 14 games all year. We still have records um in the league today because we were that good. Which is crazy. Yeah, won the Memorial Cup, you know, and I think finishing our junior career and our time in Swift Current that way, we had some pretty good feelings about what our futures held for us. So it was exciting going to be a pro. You know, it's like, okay, maybe. Um, but yeah, it's a different world. You're completely on your own. There's no billet family. There's like you have to find your own place, you have to buy your own dishes and pots and pans and right in a foreign country.

SPEAKER_03 14:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:05

Um, yeah, I remember trying to get my social insurance card and that just being a nightmare, right? How do I get paid? So, I mean, uh dealing with that adjustment into being an adult now and then still trying to perform at that highest level was a huge challenge, big learning curve. Uh, I failed way more than I succeeded my first year pro. And that was painful because up until that point, I had made every team that I wanted to make. And so the only team that I didn't make was the Detroit Red Wings in my first try. And so that was devastating to me. Uh, I I had to work with a lot of young athletes. You know, if a kid gets cut from triple A, right, they're devastated. I just never had that experience until it was the pinnacle. Um, so it was tough. I didn't communicate well. Uh I didn't let people know where I was at. I was still struggling quite a bit with everything that I had gone through with the trauma and swift current. So it was a battle. Uh the first year as a professional made me question whether I was going to continue down this road.

SPEAKER_02 15:04

When did you uh start to realize that uh uh you were dealing with a problem bigger than just hockey? What point did that start creeping in?

SPEAKER_01 15:15

Yeah, I think uh immediately after the accident. Yeah. Um because it was such a foreign vibration, the feelings that I was having I had never experienced before. Like I'd lost my grandpa when I was 14, and that was sad. Yeah, but it wasn't like this.

SPEAKER_02 15:31

Um you kind of expect to at some point you're preparing for that at some point.

SPEAKER_01 15:36

100%. Um, but the way it happened, you know, I think that's the the thing that people don't understand about trauma, right? The effect it can have, and and we can downplay it quite a bit. But listen, if it causes anything like it caused for me, um, it's trauma. You know, people always say when we tell our story uh sideways and and speaking engagements, it's like, oh, mine isn't as bad as yours. No, no, no, no, no. If it felt like I described, then it's the same. Yeah. And I think that's you know, one thing we have to understand is that uh trauma is trauma is something that we all go through in life. And if you don't understand what you've experienced and most importantly, what you need to do to heal yourself, it can last a lifetime.

SPEAKER_02 16:16

I think sometimes with trauma, there's this uh one-up weird one-upmanship that goes on. Like, well, that was bad, but you should have been I went through. Right. And in reality, uh trauma is unique to you.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

Yeah, it's mine.

SPEAKER_02 16:31

And nobody else gets to own your trauma.

SPEAKER_01 16:34

I I remember being so upset with some of my teammates afterwards because they acted like nothing was wrong. Yeah, and I couldn't believe it. You know, here I am sulking around, you know, always sad, always, and they're all happy and laughing. I'm just like, how the hell can you be happy? Yeah, how are you not acting like me? And and that really showed me how people interpret trauma differently.

SPEAKER_02 16:53

Yeah. So as your NHL career wraps up, yeah, and as you look to move on to the next stage of your life, that must have been a very eye-opening moment for you as well to try to figure out what comes next. Uh, what was that like?

SPEAKER_01 17:08

It was really hard. You know, I had a couple of guys um that that mentored me that were really good, and they said, you know, it's it's gonna be real difficult when you stop, yeah, right, because you completely lose everything. You you'll know what I mean by how many phone calls you get a week after you retire. And that was totally true. It's all of a sudden like you don't matter anymore.

SPEAKER_03 17:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:27

Right. And and that was always the hard part about being a professional, is you always wondered if people were really your friends and being friendly with you because of who you were or because of what you are. Yeah. And it showed me that they were it was mostly because of what I was. Um, so it was very lonely. Right. And then, you know, I I didn't finish high school because I got drafted and just why would I? Yeah, of course. Um, so now what do I do? Right. I I don't even like what how do these skills even translate? I'm great on the power play, but you know, how many power play opportunities am I gonna find out there in the professional world? None. Um, so it was a real hard process. I was bartending, you know, my mom was a caterer growing up, so I knew how to bartend. That paid the bills. Um, but it really it really was a a wasteland, you know, Moses wandering around the desert for 40 years trying to figure out what the hell to do next. And right that was a big part of it that was a real struggle that a lot of people don't understand, right? Transition is hard. Yeah. Um, but you have to recognize that you're in transition and always try and have something to move you forward. So it was, it was, you know, I needed to heal myself. So that was the thing that really it's like, okay, you can't figure out what you're gonna do or be next. Why don't you fix yourself, right? And and maybe learn why you ended up feeling like that. And so that helped me through that transition a lot because I got I started to get more confident, right? Realize I did have talents and abilities that could have listened I had experiences that nobody on the planet's gonna have, right? Uh I was a part of several championship teams. I was one of the best players in the world at 18 years old. Like you played for Team Canada, right? Um and so starting to think of of myself in that way gave me a renewed confidence that, hey, let's put ourselves out there and see what happens.

SPEAKER_02 19:16

I'm always uh blown away. Like resiliency is a word that I I don't think a lot of people understand, but I I I've seen it through these interviews and I've seen it through conversations that I've had with people who have faced crazy odds and then have done something great with that uh with an environment that might kill a normal person. Uh I would put you in that category as somebody who's done great things coming from tragedy and trauma. When did you decide that you wanted to do more than just survive and just move forward? When did you decide that you were gonna try to help?

SPEAKER_01 19:51

I think the moment was um when I realized what I had learned to help me heal could help others. And I mean, that's that was a big part of my life growing up. I wanted everybody to be happy, yeah, right? I wanted everybody to get along, and when I saw what I had learned could have that kind of impact on groups and people, that's that's when I really felt it for the first time. And it was a powerful thing. Not something I thought I'd ever do, Chris. Yeah, but had the awareness to pay attention to what was going on around me. And when I saw those results and I got that feedback, it was like, okay, I'm on to something here. And that that really motivated me to yeah, want to get back and help others.

SPEAKER_02 20:36

And that led to I Got Mind.

SPEAKER_01 20:37

Yeah. So walk me through uh I Got Mind and what's it? So cool. What a what a great story this is. Um, so I'm down in the States, I'm writing some programs and teaching these young athletes, having some really good success, and I'm hungry to learn. Like I'm just voracious, like I need to learn as much as I can. And so I was introduced. My mom actually gave me a uh sent me the movie The Secret. I don't I don't know if you've ever seen it, but it totally resonated with me because I had always been the creator of my life. I had always, when I wanted something, I could go and get it, right? You set goals and you so I'm watching The Secret and I'm thinking, okay, this is pretty cool. But there was one guy in there in particular, his name was Bob Proctor. And every time Bob came on the screen, it's like he had a megaphone in my ear. It just everybody else was like you and I talking. But when Bob came on, he was a megaphone in my ear. So I'm like, okay, I got to find out who this guy is. And um, I did some research and he has a company called Life Success. He had a company. He passed away a couple of years ago. Um, but they did training. And I thought, this is awesome. One of the dads had told me after a session with the young guys, whatever you need, I totally believe in what you're doing. So I set up a meeting with him. I went and sat in his office and I said, you know, John, his name was John Rickerts. Uh, he owned an auto dealership, Bobby Ray Hall. And I said, This is what I want to do. And I showed him all the brochures and everything. I said, The problem I have is it's $20,000 for me to go and do it. And he opened his uh desk and he took out his checkbook and he wrote a check for $20,000. And that's, you know, so I got mine came from putting myself out there, you know, this is what I want to do, and then going and asking for help. Yeah. And I spent time with Bob a couple of years. He was my mentor, just fantastic, and taught me and made me confident in my story and who I was and what I had overcome that I could go and share that learning with other people. And it's just, it's been a godsend.

SPEAKER_02 22:30

That's fantastic. I again, like I said, hearing stories of rejuvenation is just amazing, right? Because everybody can start. Some days it's hard to believe it's my story, Chris. And now uh let's talk about Sideways. What a great project.

SPEAKER_01 22:46

2006. Uh, I brought it that group of young men that I was working with. We brought them up to the Max tournament. I had um the editor of the hockey news at that time was Brian Costello. Brian was the reporter that was on the bus with us. I said, Hey, you know, we got a sponsor. Uh um, would like you to write an article for the hockey news. It's such a great thing. And he's like, It's a great idea. Why don't you write it?

unknown 23:11

Oh, cool.

SPEAKER_01 23:12

So I'm like, okay, yeah, sure, I'll write it. And so I wrote this article. I got a phone call about three, two weeks after it came out, and it was a lady who was behind the bus when it went off the road. And she said, I've not talked to anybody in 20 years. Uh, I've never told anybody this, but I read your article in the hockey news and I just wanted to reach out and talk with you. And so Lisa Culp and I hit it off. We talked for hours um continuously. Let's talk tomorrow night, let's talk tomorrow night. And we said, you know what, let's write a book about this. And so Lisa was really the catalyst for the whole book. Um, she did all the research, grabbed all the newspaper articles from Swift for those three years, and then came down to Pennsylvania. She lived in Ontario, drove down to Pennsylvania, and we wrote this book in a weekend, just talking about all the different things. And, you know, so it just flowed out of me this whole story from start to finish of the Memorial Cup, um, the bus accident to Memorial Cup. And it took about five years to get it published. So we were excited and devastated and excited, and that, you know, and all of a sudden this publisher comes out Dunder and Publishing, and they said, Yeah, we'll we'll we'll take it. And so we were so happy. And it was a week after that that Shane uh Putzlocker, who did the documentary, he wanted to make it into a movie. So we're really excited about this, you know. 2006 to 2014, the book finally comes out. Now Shane wants to make it into a movie, and he just couldn't get the pieces in place to make the movie. Pandemic hit, you know, changes everything. Um, so he said, you know what? I'm tired, tired of beating my head against a brick wall here. Why don't we create a documentary? And I said, Well, what does that mean? And he says, Well, it's gonna be about you. And I'm like, I don't know if I'm really interested in that. Um, he said, No, no, and and he laid out the whole storyline and how he wanted to do it. And he said, But we want you to be one of the main things in there. I thought, you know what? Listen, Chris, the world is a difficult place, right? We're putting ourselves out there constantly for people to critique us when we do this, right? Absolutely. And I thought, do I really need that kind of anguish in my life at this point? You know what I mean? I'm 53 years old, life's pretty good. Do I need to put myself out there? And I finally decided that, you know what, because I had seen so many people react to the vulnerability of us telling our story, why not? So the last three years we've been putting this documentary together, and it's just been a fantastic experience. Um, writing a book is not something I would do. Making a documentary is not something I would, and this thing just turned out brilliantly. Lori Kufner, who's uh a local resident here in Airdrie, was the director, and she just did a brilliant job of pulling all of the different characters of this story together and the impact it's had, Chris. Like you haven't seen it yet. No, right? And and I know Britain has seen it. Um, it changes you.

SPEAKER_02 26:02

I'm really excited for it.

SPEAKER_01 26:04

Yeah, it it completely changes you. So we've shown it 14 times across Canada, and every response has been overwhelming. So it's something that we want to continue because it does enhance the wellness and the awareness in the communities that watch it.

SPEAKER_02 26:16

Yeah. I again we're gonna once we have a date here in Airdrie, we're gonna put it in the show notes. We're gonna make sure that all of our viewers uh can get out to see it, and I will definitely be there to see it. Uh let's uh shift a little bit of focus to talk about uh today. And um, you know, we had a bit of a conversation off camera about uh how sports and and the game has changed. Uh what's your critique on sports today, uh hockey, uh organized sports in general, and where do you think we are and where do you think we need to go?

SPEAKER_01 26:49

Um yeah, it's interesting, you know, 20 years doing this work, you see a lot of changes. We were talking about, you know, um from 2008 to today, we've seen four significant differences in the kids just because of the difference in generations, right? Technology, the way of the world, the pandemic, everything everything has changed significantly. So we've never seen that in our lifetime, right? You and I growing up, there was one. All of a sudden now there's four in a relatively short period of time. So um it's created a lot of there's been so much overcorrecting, right? Uh a lot of the values that coaches had back in the day were really good. You work hard, you treat people with respect, right? You're accountable for your stuff. They just didn't necessarily do it in a way that made us feel safe. Yeah. Right. And so what we see in the work that we do, because we work with lots of different sports, is that there's there's cultural problems everywhere. Um just about every sport that we've seen is unhealthy. Um not because people are trying to make it that way, but again, because of the overcorrection. Yeah. The parents aren't allowing coaches to create accountability in their athletes. The athletes have a sense of entitlement they've never had before where they don't have to listen to you if they don't like your opinion, right? And then mom and dad swoop in and change everything, and coaches don't want to talk to parents, and parents don't like coaches, and then the board's trying to so there's all these issues that really, Chris, I don't think are sport related. Yeah. They're uh a real reflection of our society as a whole. And, you know, hockey gets a bad rap because what Hockey Canada's been through, you know, every time a hazing issue comes out in whatever sport, there's always that. But we've got such a big issue with just how we treat each other, because that's really what it comes down to at the end of the day is are we treating each other in the way that we want to be treated? And we just don't see that enough. And so that bleeds into our sports, which makes it really traumatizing for everybody that's involved.

SPEAKER_02 28:46

Yeah, I've always thought uh sport has pushed back against some of that uh change, right? Like it's kind of the last place, like in my world in football. If you miss your block, you get immediate feedback from the guy who kills your running back, then you messed up. And there's an accountability that's not there in the real life, and then you have the pressures from the outside world saying, actually, that's okay. You know, it's okay to fail there. And you're like, no, I just got him killed, you know. And it's always been a counterpunch to that. Uh, and a lot of times an overcorrection takes place there too. Uh, what changes would you like to see in the game?

SPEAKER_01 29:23

Uh, I'd like to see everybody enjoy what they're doing more. Yeah, I don't think there's enough joy in the sports. Um, you know, it's gotten so super competitive that we're isolating our athletes into one sport at nine years old. Yeah. When soccer's awesome, baseball's great, right? Swimming is fantastic. Golf, all these other things that we can do that that develop us more and more as an athlete. You can't say that people are athletes today. They're hockey players or they're football players.

SPEAKER_02 29:53

Yeah, it becomes hyper spite specialized at a very young age.

SPEAKER_01 29:57

Athletes are people that can do a lot of good things, right? They would say, oh, he's a natural athlete. No, he works hard to be good at all the different things that he's doing. There's no natural about it. Um, it's that passion. But when we don't get introduced to those other things in those other communities as well, we're we're very singularly focused, and and that really limits the opportunities that we may have.

SPEAKER_02 30:20

So uh looking at getting back to the joy in the game, looking uh to kind of wait until older years to specialize is something you'd like to see.

SPEAKER_01 30:29

Yeah, absolutely. I think it needs to be. I think uh uh John Stevens, he's uh he's been an NHL head coach. John is a friend of mine. He was telling me a story when he was the coach of the LA Kings. You know, they were a training camp, and he said, you know, we're gonna do something different. We're just gonna go play football in the field. Well, he comes back, he said, You wouldn't believe it, you know, we're throwing the football around, and this one kid busts his nose because he's never learned how to catch a football, right? The the amount of kids today that we we have fun and we explore when we do our sessions. How many of you know how to ride a bike? You wouldn't believe how many kids don't know how to ride a bike.

SPEAKER_02 31:01

That's crazy, right?

SPEAKER_01 31:02

But they know how to skate, and boy, can they shoot, yeah, and boy, can they hit the ball. You know what I mean? But they can't do all the other things. And I think it's because we we take the joy out of it. That's some of our best times growing up, Chris. You think about it, was the stuff we were doing in the playgrounds with no parents around.

SPEAKER_02 31:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:17

When do these kids get free time today?

SPEAKER_02 31:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:20

To just be kids and just to figure that stuff out on their own. They don't anymore. Everything is so structured. So it's easy to lose the joy when you're constantly being told what to do because I don't know how you are, Chris. I'm not a big fan of being told what to do all the time.

SPEAKER_02 31:33

No, and I find uh, you know, um kids can love a sport. Like obviously they're attracted to one sport or another because there's a passion and a love for it. And I find, you know, you could go all day hating school. You might not come from the best background, so maybe your morning doesn't start all that great, your day sucks, and then you get to the football field, you get to the hockey rank. Uh there's a duty for those coaches to make that the best part of their day because it could be the only thing that kid wants to do for that whole day. So I I share your sentiment about getting back to the joy of the games that are being played and and bringing fun back to sport. Uh I worry sometimes that money is really uh driving us to a place that uh isn't good.

SPEAKER_01 32:18

Money, status, yeah. You know what I mean? All of the stuff that that people think they want. Um, I'm here to tell you when you have it, it's not as great as you think. And because a lot of times you do the wrong things to get there. Yeah. And it's just, you know, it's it's it's not as sweet as you think it's gonna be. Uh you talked about duty, and and it was one of the things we talked about. We showed this on Parliament Hill. Um, and it was great because we got to talk with a bunch of MPs or, you know, who are in charge of us. Yeah. And the whole theme of the talk was duty of care. And you think about, you know, when when I'm a coach of young people, I I have a responsibility to provide duty of care. You know, and what does that mean? It's creating a safe environment, it's creating a respectful environment where people have the opportunity to grow, to learn, to thrive, um, to to embrace failure, you know, but we don't necessarily think about it that way. And that's the parents' involvement. You know, duty of care is keeping it safe on the ride home, right? Because that that that that's a lot when we compete. And, you know, a lot of athletes really are fearful of the ride home and yeah, because they know it's coming. And the critique is there, you know, and and I think that's why we lose the joy is because we we lose a healthy perspective on what sport is meant to be.

SPEAKER_02 33:29

I uh I'm a big fan of Simon Sinek's teaching. Uh, when you talk about the bull bullhorn, when I hear him talk, and uh, one of the things he always says is leadership isn't being in charge, it's taking care of those in your charge. Uh, so I would like to see to get back to those days. I have a question that keeps popping into my head while you talk. Do you still play hockey?

SPEAKER_01 33:48

Twice a day or twice a week. Sorry, yeah, yeah. I I found a group. I didn't for a long time. Yeah. Um, I tried to play men's league. Uh when they found out who I was, um wasn't healthy competition. You know, they were out to kind of either show me. Yeah, I had a guy, he was a big guy and he couldn't skate real well. And and he kind of threw me into the boards and and made a bunch of smart ass little comments. And I thought, you know what? This is not the game.

SPEAKER_02 34:15

This isn't healthy.

SPEAKER_01 34:16

So I hung him up for a while, but I had some friends reach out to me that I grew up with, and they said, you know what, we got a really good group. We think you'd like it. They're called the 7HLers, just a fantastic group of guys. They've been skating together for 30 years. Um, we have four sets of jerseys. We have a commissioner that makes the teams. We play three game series, and it's the best, most fun hockey I've ever played in my life. So the joy's back. I found the joy again.

SPEAKER_02 34:41

Yeah. I'm really excited to hear that. Uh uh, Bob, this has been my honor and my pleasure to have you on the show. I want to give you a chance to tell everybody where we can find out more information about the various things you have on the go.

SPEAKER_01 34:53

Yeah, I got mine.ca uh is our website. If we have an event for a screening of the Sideways documentary, you can find it there. It's usually on the homepage. Um lots of information. You know, there's so many different groups that we've been fortunate to work with. We have a lot of youth sports programs, uh, all different modalities. Um, we work with coaches, athletes, parents. So we've got all that. Uh we've done work in the school systems with teachers and with athletes and students just in general. And we do a lot of corporate work as well. So, you know, there's there's lots of different resources there. You can join our community. We're really proud of the community that we built recently. Um, it's just all things wellness. Um, we've done a series lately because a lot of people are saying that, you know, I'm dealing with aging parents and I don't know how to deal with it. So we created a becoming a caregiver series. Uh, we have the nutrition collective teaching all things nutrition, just just those types of things, trying to create a place out there in this crazy messed up world where you can come and just kind of be and learn and and figure out things on your own.

SPEAKER_02 35:58

Well, like I said, Bob, this has been my absolute pleasure. Thank you so much for coming on the show. Uh, and I can't wait to see Sideways in person. Been great. Yeah, and thank you again.

SPEAKER_01 36:08

Yeah, appreciate it.

SPEAKER_02 36:09

And thank you for being with us here on Airdrie Inside. We're gonna be back uh with more great episodes coming up shortly.

SPEAKER_00 36:14

Quick update. I just got the text from Bob. The Sideways documentary, Airdrie Mental Health Fundraiser, is set for June 15th at 7 p.m. The door's open at 6 30 and it's at Venue Church, which is 2926 Kingsview Boulevard Southeast. They've collaborated with the Airdrie Sports Council. And you can check out the Sideways documentary for that night, June 15th. Link to the tickets below.