[S1 E5] Warrior Women Rising | On Finding & Living Your Purpose

Hosts: Ashley Miller (USMA '11) & Kafi A. Joseph (USMA '03) — Host-only Episode
Producer: Xeon Simpson

🎙[S1 E5] Warrior Women Rising — Episode 5: On Finding & Living Your Purpose 🎙

In Episode 5 of Warrior Women Rising, co-hosts Ashley and Kafi kick off a deeply personal and foundational series on finding and living your purpose.

This episode gets back to the “why” behind the podcast itself. Ashley and Kafi reflect on their own journeys as women veterans—sharing how identity, transition, curiosity, and self-reflection have shaped who they are today. Through honest conversation, humor, and real-life stories, they explore what it means to ask not just “what do I do next”? but “who am I, really”?

The discussion weaves together pivotal life moments, influential quotes, and the idea that purpose is not fixed…it evolves. From military service to transition, career pivots, and personal growth, this episode invites listeners to consider how purpose can change over time and how embracing that evolution is part of rising into your authentic self.

Whether you’re navigating transition, questioning your next chapter, or simply reflecting on where you are right now, this episode offers space to pause, reflect, and reconnect with what lights you up.

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Themes

• Identity after military service
• Finding purpose through transition and change
• Influential quotes that shape perspective
• Letting go of who you’re “supposed” to be
• Embracing growth, curiosity, and authenticity

🎧 Tune in, share in our stories, and get ready to rise. 💛

#WarriorWomenRising #WomenWhoLead 
#WomenVeterans #VeteranVoices
#RiseUp #HowAreYou

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Let us know...How are you?

• Drop a line via fan mail at www.warriorwomenrise.buzzsprout.com
• Tag us in your #howareyou story on Instagram @warrior.women.rise
• See us on our YouTube channel youtube.com/@warriorwomenrise
• Or simply shoot us an email at warrior.women.rise@gmail.com

If there's someone whose story you'd like us to feature (including your own), or insights, reflections or feedback, any of the above mediums are great for that, too!

~ A & K

Transcript

Kafi A. Joseph (00:12)
Hey everybody! We are back for episode five of Warrior Women Rising! Woo!

Ashley Miller (00:21)
I'll keep doing that every time, it's like so...

Kafi A. Joseph (00:25)
We did it! And it's holiday time, so it's like,

Ashley Miller (00:28)
yes i brought my mug my happy po- polydays

Kafi A. Joseph (00:37)
don't have a mug. It's okay.

Welcome to Warrior Women Rising. This is a podcast by and for women veterans where we explore who are you. So digging into who you are as a woman veteran, your background, your experience and what you have done to get to your transition out of service. How are you? So really first checking in on how the person is doing and then really how are you really like inside of all of that. How are you really? And then we talk about how you are rising. So how you are finding your authentic self.

Woohoo! ⁓

doing the entrepreneurship thing but for real for real right now I am a medical leave recovering from a ridiculous shoulder surgery so and then I live here with my fur baby Drew the husky he's hanging out and I fight every day for my street cat street cred as an auntie because those nieces and nephews are serious about you being fun Ashley over to you

Ashley Miller (02:07)
Yes, and I'm your other co-host Ashley Miller, also an Army veteran, former engineer officer, executive recruiter and advisor based here in Atlanta. And I live with my beautiful little almost two-year-old daughter and my amazing partner and our really amazing curmargin old.

Dog ace I feel like her Mudge in is like the perfect word for him now. He's 13 He's like barely able to see and he's like always like leave me alone. Anyways, he's still super lovable and adorable to other people, but he's just getting up there and That's me. We're excited to chat today

Kafi A. Joseph (02:49)
So that's who we are. We hope that if you're listening and you feel so moved, you pop in our comments and share who you are. And as we jump in, so this is episode five. And so we're moving into the series on finding and living your purpose. And before we hopped on Ashley and our chuckling, we're like, this is kind of the impetus of this whole podcast. fine. That started it So. ⁓

Ashley Miller (03:10)
I you.

Is that why we're here?

Kafi A. Joseph (03:19)
We're going to talk today, you have the two of us, we're going to chat a bit about what that means for us in terms of finding our purpose, living our purpose, where we are, how we are pursuing that, and then we'll have an amazing guest teed up to come on where we can deep dive into what that looks like for someone else. So what are your thoughts? What are you thinking about this finding and living your purpose piece that we're in, Ashley?

Ashley Miller (03:44)
Yeah, it's funny. We were kind of chatting before we got started about this. So, and honestly, as we kick off, I would love before I forget, cause it popped in my head for us to cover our quotes that we each have and have talked about as really pivotal quotes that sort of summarize a way that we view life a bit because I kind of feel like this is a perfect episode to talk about them. But before we get to that, the other thing I really love about what we're

about to discuss is also this discussion that I know we're going to have around how that can look and change and what does that really mean and not just where are we in it, but how do we think about it? I'm really, I'm just really excited to chat about it. It's like literally why we're here together. But do you want to share your quote?

Kafi A. Joseph (04:33)
Yes, I'm happy to share my quote. It doesn't roll off.

Ashley Miller (04:38)
It's super

cool though. That's it, but it's so cool.

Kafi A. Joseph (04:42)
And if you know me, I'm, when you hear the word dimension that comes up, I'm super into many worlds theory and quantum physics, that too. So it's really dope, but it is, I feel like it's an actor's ⁓ exercise to get your. All right, so here we go. And see the people who are just listening and not watching can't see how she.

Ashley Miller (04:58)
⁓ to get it out, yes.

Kafi A. Joseph (05:09)
Many merry men. Okay. So the quote is one's mind once stretched by a new idea never regains its original dimensions. That's by Oliver Wendell Holmes. And I love that. And why I've selected it is because I feel like it is

It epitomizes how I move and operate and also as we get into finding and living your purpose, once you get the idea, you have an inkling or you see or you touch or you taste or you experience the thing.

No more are you satisfied with going back to where you are. No more can you reasonably sit there and just be like, I'm okay with this. It's like, first of all, now you're inspired, you're sparked, you're like, this is a thing. And now for me, it's like, and now I must pursue it with all and every inch of my body. Let's get after it. Forget everything else. So that's my clip.

Ashley Miller (06:01)
Thank

I love it. And I also love it because when I chat about mine really quickly is that there is this connection between once you realize, I think the realization component of the finding your purpose piece, like we'll talk about it later, but is a really big fixation for me of this aha moment, finding it, getting that. And I think you're right. Once it happens, like how do you go back?

⁓ so mine is actually, it's a little different. It's kind of comedic. So my quote, I'm going to set the scene. I'm watching a Marvel movie. I'm watching a Marvel movie. You know, the early Marvel movies, Marvel still killing it, but you know, you can't out loud do the, the lead up to end game, but it's actually end game. I'm watching that. And

Kafi A. Joseph (06:42)
see you all day every day.

Ashley Miller (06:58)
Thor's mom is talking to him when he's in this really challenging, pivotal sort of, I'll call it a, what do you call it? Century midlife crisis. I know I'm like, I don't know what it is, but you get where I'm going. It's a crisis of self. And she tells him, everyone fails at who they're supposed to be. The measure of a person is how will they succeed at being who they are?

Kafi A. Joseph (07:09)
He's been alive.

Ashley Miller (07:28)
It is a different perspective and dimension to caveat off what you said of what we're talking about. But for me personally, I think there is this time where we believe who we should be. It's not always who we want to be or who we're going to be. They're just iterations of who we are in life. This speaks specifically to me because I definitely felt molded to be someone.

that wasn't necessarily who I wanted to be and what I wanted for my life. So it's a little bit of a different dimension, but I still think the same theme of realizing who I wanted to be or where I wanted to go really changed that perspective for me of what is my purpose and finding that.

Kafi A. Joseph (08:15)
Everybody fails at who they're supposed to be, right? And I think what I like about your quote is this acceptance of who you are or where you are, right? Because you may be somewhere in your journey. Like, can I be who I am right now? Yes, I'm aiming for that thing. Yes, I'm striving for whatever is coming next.

I am here. So how do I be the best at where I am right now? And maybe it's an effort towards getting to that thing, but yeah.

Ashley Miller (08:45)
Yeah, and failure isn't a bad thing because you can fail and then succeeded it later too. I just think there's lots of ways to think about it as an iteration of the who am I journey through the lens of finding my purpose. So when I was in college, I majored in psychology and I did that because I've always been fascinated with people, which maybe everyone is fascinated with people. I'm not sure.

Kafi A. Joseph (09:11)
There are some people who are not. There are some people who are like, can kindly keep all your peopling and antics and all of that over there and hope he hears.

Ashley Miller (09:16)
Bye!

It's funny because because of my time in service I went Depends on the people I think that's fair depends on the people But I've always been fascinated with how different we are particularly growing up my brother and I very different same home different experiences and So I wanted to study that at an engineering school. Why not? so I

Kafi A. Joseph (09:42)
If

they didn't want you to study it.

Ashley Miller (09:47)
Exactly.

And how could they not? It's what we do professionally. It's what everybody does professionally. so I really actually loved that. It was very easy. I'm glad that's what I chose. Clearly it would serve you anywhere in the military. was helpful. And once I was in service, I also was still fascinated with the psych component and it definitely served me when I was counseling. feel like I can, people connect to me. I can

I have conversations about things that are deeper. And there was a point where I talked about this in our motherhood episode. I realized what I was doing, wasn't it? When I was getting ready to start command, I knew I wanted to get into this space. So I was at this core headquarters deployed in Iraq talking with the G3 of 18 number core. And I'm talking to the medical, the med.

the medical lead and I'm asking her, hey, what would it look like to transfer and do a command over in a BSB or a medical brigade or something like that? Cause now I'm forgetting all the acronyms. been too long. It's been that long.

Kafi A. Joseph (11:00)
everybody

do not hold us accountable for using the right terminology we I have now been out longer than I was in and I feel like alive ⁓ so and the terms change so we were there we have our DD 214s

Ashley Miller (11:12)
Yes.

But so I'm exploring this. want to understand this. I'm supposed to go to one of the brigade combat teams and do an engineer command, which is the dream for people. And I'm like, how can I not do that? It's supposed to dream. And I was, I was getting ready to do that. I was going to go to jump school and be a, what is it called when you jump master? Okay. Sorry, everyone. Don't come for us.

Kafi A. Joseph (11:32)
Pose a dream.

semester. I'm like, see you.

Ashley Miller (11:50)
But, so I'm getting set up for this, but I know in my bones, like I need to be doing something different. I connect with her. She's so kind. Try WTU. Why don't we look at a command like that? That's irregardless of branch. Long story short, I end up in command there. The person that I worked for as a Battalion Commander, still mentored us today. Amazing. But he was a green beret. And so just the perspective and the growth journey I had in that command is

We could talk all day about it, but so it gave me an opportunity to explore this connection to the medical field and in psych and healthcare and things like that. And I realized in command that maybe I didn't want to do that, particularly in the army. was actually incredibly difficult, but it stayed with me this in the back of my mind. I found it really difficult because I wasn't actually a practitioner. was a commander. It's just a really different.

That is not the same thing as what I was looking for, but we have one experience, you know, so fast forward, I stay in the army, I go to teach at the University of Maryland, which, you know, in a sense is sort of bringing this counseling, caring for the people component, giving back, like mentoring. And I'm like applying to grad schools while I'm kind of rounding out that time. And I apply to MBA programs.

And it's really hard. I'm doing all these applications and I'm like really struggling. I can't find how I'm supposed to talk about my experiences. I literally only applied to two programs. I could we listed one and I don't get into the other. And I decide I'm just gonna get out and think about it. This is obviously not what I wanna do. I don't know what I wanna do. Yes, yes.

Kafi A. Joseph (13:32)
You're doing what you're supposed to do. yeah.

Right. You get out. You go to grad school. Usually MBAs. Yeah. Yeah.

Ashley Miller (13:40)
Yes,

but I actually did realize, okay, that's not, it doesn't feel authentic, so I just get out. I'm taking some time off. I live with a girlfriend that I played rugby with as well, who you know, Ray Phelps, and I work at Lululemon. It's like really fun, it's really feminine, it's like really different. I've never done anything like this. Yo, and I'm so glad

Kafi A. Joseph (14:01)
that

you did that I like wanted to be a coyote because Coyote Ugly was out I like get out and be a coyote I'm gonna go to Hollywood and I'm gonna it never happened so you're like living my dream you lived my dream of doing something just so different yeah yeah

Ashley Miller (14:15)
So different.

Why do you? Okay, let me on. Why do you think you didn't do it? I know why.

Kafi A. Joseph (14:21)
best friend wouldn't do it with me.

Ashley Miller (14:23)
⁓ my God.

my God. It's scary to do stuff like that alone. I wouldn't have done this if I wasn't going to live with Ray. Right? Because I, you know, the partnership, like having somebody with you and I was single during this whole time. Right. So.

Kafi A. Joseph (14:34)
Yeah.

I into recently someone in the 10s or teens grad who did go to Hollywood. She transitioned and she went. She was doing her thing and getting after it. was like, I am so excited for you. So yeah, yeah.

Ashley Miller (14:52)
But yeah, so, so I do that. I start to realize while I'm like selling Lululemon pants, which is phenomenal, like what a journey. And I'm helping a little bit operationally. I'm like, this is not enough. Like I need to be more active. But I realized, okay, I do like people. I like connecting. I end up at Spencer Stewart doing executive search, which is advising in a way, ⁓ people and a little bit can be counselor like when you're

helping find the right fit and place people.

Kafi A. Joseph (15:23)
And.

Ashley Miller (15:25)
Exactly.

Yeah. And so I'm really enjoying that journey. And I realize I want to get a master's. I'm like, ⁓ I want it to be something that's like really meaningful to me that is related to what I want to do long-term. I don't just want to use it on MBA because that's what everybody does, right? Which we just talked about, which also no shade, love it. Everybody should live their dreams. But I find this master's of science in clinical rehabilitation counseling. Someone I went to high school with recommended doing that or getting a social work degree.

And because I want to work with women veterans in the long run, eventually that's kind of my focus area. And I also just think the VA is doing its best, but there's just not enough care out there for people. Yeah, there's, ⁓ there are certainly. And I say, after a lot of research, a lot of hardship, I'm not all the way talking through. I say, okay, we're going to try this. So that long story is to get to.

Kafi A. Joseph (16:06)
There's certainly not enough for women.

Ashley Miller (16:22)
I'm in a position professionally where I'm doing care in a way that's counseling for executives, but I want to do this for my peers and sisters-in-arms. And so I'm getting my degree. I just actually got in, I told Kathy a couple of weeks ago, to this program locally in Georgia.

Kafi A. Joseph (16:40)
We're gonna pause because we don't celebrate. Yes. No way the kids don't snap. They do the little teeth

Ashley Miller (16:45)
Oh, they do the teething now. well I'm... Can I do both?

Kafi A. Joseph (16:50)
Congratulations! As you said, you went through the whole process of researching and figuring out and determining and I am incredibly excited for you. So we're gonna pause. Do it, ahead, pose for the camera. Get in. Yes, yes, we're on the path. Okay.

Ashley Miller (16:51)
Thank you. ⁓

So in terms of finding your purpose, I don't know what it is in the end, but I feel like I've taken the right steps to move more towards that, you know, in my years, 37 years of life. The last 10 have probably been the most focused towards getting here. And so I'm excited. I'm going to get this degree in this Master in Science of Clinical Rehabilitation Counseling. That's a mouthful. It's also an exercise if I was an actor.

And that's how I'm going to get closer. So that's me.

Kafi A. Joseph (17:40)
How do you feel? How are you now? Now that we've gone the journey and you're landed and you're about to embark on this, how are you?

Ashley Miller (17:48)
Like in my heart of hearts, I'm really excited about it because it is going to take me to the person I want to be. And hopefully that is who I'm supposed to be in the end. am like nervous. This is going to be the first time in my life. I'm going to, you know, be doing something that feels like a path changing event eventually. And it's exciting, but that is a very different path at some point than the one I'm on today.

Most importantly, I feel really supported, which when I think about like how I'm doing, I have like a really phenomenal partner. I have really great friends that make me feel comfortable about taking this next step. Speaking of different changes on the path, I'm going to be really reliant on my partner in a way that I've not had to be in the past, which is also really scary as an independent type A woman.

The workload makes the whole load of life different. So I'm definitely nervous about that, but also really excited that I have a partner that would do that for me. So on the whole, yeah, I have my, yeah, my person. So on the whole, I'm gonna do what I would, I'm cautiously optimistic. I feel better than I felt in a long time too.

Kafi A. Joseph (19:11)
Yay! I love that!

Ashley Miller (19:16)
I said most days I don't want to be like, and every day I wake up and now I'm like the flowers have bloomed, right? You know?

Kafi A. Joseph (19:23)
think that cautiously optimistic is totally fair because number one, optimism is in it. So there is optimism, right? You know, I think that that's totally fair and you're doing something that is potentially putting you on that path.

to where you are, right? Like not who you're supposed to be, but who you are. And, you know, one of our other episodes, we talked about the fact that in a good chunk of our lives and our careers, there were a few things that we really truly got to choose, right? And so this-

Ashley Miller (19:58)
100

%

Kafi A. Joseph (19:59)
Yeah,

this is something that you got to, you just talked about how much time you spent reflecting, considering, thinking about saying no to the things that were not, you know, appropriate for you at the time, not being sure of what it is and now you're potentially on that path. So it's okay, you know, to be cautiously optimistic. I think that's healthy. And because the optimism is there and then you're filling it out. Just, you know, and we, yeah. Yeah. So I'm excited for you. I a little emotional, like I feel so supported.

Ashley Miller (20:29)
Well, and I definitely, when this is of really good after I share this segue into kind of your journey too, because I noticed a couple of times you mentioning some things that would have been interesting to pursue or consider that maybe you didn't. I also have lots of decision points and experiences like that. And I do think, Cathy, there's this component of

our formative years being spent preparing us to do ⁓ one specific job in the military. Not that it's not complex, it is. And there are lot of components that you can and cannot be prepared for, but the choice component is very different. Not that it doesn't exist as a leader, but there are lot of components around direction, career progression, even regulations and rules by which you make decisions for the group that you lead and manage.

that are not overly complex. There are only so many answers there at the end of the day. And so when you talk about decision points of deciding, do I do something really risky and go to Hollywood and be a coyote ugly person, right? I mean, that can feel to do by yourself. I wouldn't do that either, but why not? We are also trained to be

comfortable with risk, but in a very specific way. And so I just think this dichotomy of our education background, which again, incredibly, incredibly thankful for, can be a little bit of a double edged sword if that's not the path you choose for your entire career, right? You transition out and you really have to figure out how to use these muscles that don't exist, positive or negative, and, and or capitalize on the ones that you have developed from

that education and training. So, would love to hear your thoughts about U2 and kind of dive in on your needs.

Kafi A. Joseph (22:27)
I recently re listened to our first podcast. And so that was interesting because I was just coming back from one of my sabbaticals. I love that you anchored to school, right? And this fascination and interest in psychology. And so it me start to think about like, where did I explore this idea of purpose and you know, why I'm here or what I'm supposed to do or that kind of stuff. And so I have a distinct.

I have a distinct memory of posting a thing on purpose. feel like I have a-

from my roommate, I had the same roommate, Yuckier, up until second semester first year when I went to Reg Staff, and she got me this book for my birthday, and part of it was like, feel like you're defining journeys in life, or finding your person and finding your purpose. For the record, for anyone who's interested, the person still has not arrived, drop me a DM, and I'm just kidding. And so when I went on my first sabata,

I pulled up from the archives this journal entry ⁓ from November 2009 and it was a year and two months after I decided to leave the active duty army and And then I was as part of like that first sabbatical. So I've been on to quick rehab for everybody I am apparently a perpetual sabbatical taker ⁓

Ashley Miller (23:58)
Who is

not a perpetual, see, that is the construct telling you that's a problem. It is not. Like you're not, she's taken two sabbaticals and I don't know how many people wish they've taken one, but like that isn't a serial sabbatical taker. That's someone who's acknowledging and present enough in themselves to know they need a break. But anywho, continue. Don't talk like that about my friend.

Kafi A. Joseph (24:20)
and the running joke. I appreciate

you Fran for keeping your francy. ⁓ And all honesty, I've been treating this medical leave almost like a third one. It's been giving me some time to sit down. So I found ⁓ this journal entry. So it's from a year and two months after I had left active duty army. And then on that sabbatical, I had done an exercise ⁓

that starts with my life purpose is. So you had to write at the top of, so if anybody wants to do this exercise, here you go. You write at the top of 10 sheets of paper, write the words my life's purpose is to, and then you don't think about it. You just complete the sentence on each one of those pieces of paper. And so I wrote, make a difference, help others see and achieve their personal greatness, be an example of what's possible, leave behind a meaningful legacy, change the world, be forever young, achieve my personal legend.

That's an alchemist reference. Empower others to make a difference. Chase experience. Make memories. Have adventures. Inspire greatness. I'm very wordy. Those were 10 things, even though it sounded like more than that.

⁓ But if you read if I read their journal entry it was like to use my creativity and empathy to devise ideas and activities Listen to and share experiences that help others pursue their dreams while enjoying a sense of accomplishment So like you know all in all like I read that I did that exercise in the past Through the two sabbaticals like I've discovered human design and I've learned that my literal

incarnation cross if you're into it that says what your life's purpose is to lovingly help people get their stuff together. So you know I've been I say all this to say I've just been kind of circling around it even you know when I came back from my first sabbatical and shared my experiences it's been talking to people about how do they do that for themselves right the second sabbatical is like alright I need to get more focused and when I came back from that I knew that I wanted to focus on women and

youth and veterans, right? And again, like how do I help them get it together? And where I am now is, ⁓ I'm super anchored on human design. It's really a personal self-knowledge tool, right? Grounded in what I call like the ancient divination arts, but it is a way for you to know who you are and then not who you're supposed to be, not the archetypes that we say out there, but like who you are and then get afterlife secure in them.

And there's just something that's liberating when you know and you just described it, we heard it in Ashley's, when you know who you are and what matters to you and how something resonates with you at your core, you feel just so secure and just rolling with that.

Ashley Miller (27:18)
Because once one's mind is stretched, can never. Literally like, yeah, that.

Kafi A. Joseph (27:23)
Yeah, right, and so, right.

just continue to have been tapped into like, am supposed to be helping people. What does that look like? And what I love, you know, this is my last human design rant is so many people can have that life purpose, lovingly help people get their stuff together, but it depends on like what you're aligned to, what you're aligned to. you know, someone that's really into money can be doing it by helping people as a financial advisor. Somebody who's really into fitness can be helping people lovingly get their stuff together by working out. Me, it's apparently helping people figure out who they are.

after it or the best way to be online. And so I'm so into human design now. My purpose and what I'm pursuing and working through is how to bring human design and form tools to help people just be their best selves. so working with someone on an app, I got diagnosed with ADHD in my big, big age of where I am. so that's one of the ways it's like, how can I help people operate in alignment with

their energy, right? Like not the test, not what you have to do. Like what does your energy say and how can we like change that paradigm? So people aren't like out here grinding and losing their freaking minds trying to do all the things versus versus do how they're energetically positioned for that day. It's like a weather forecast but for you. So we don't go do certain things when it's raining. We adjust our activities. How about we adjust our days based on what our energy looks like? So that's that's like where I am. And that's one piece of it.

Like I think that's one way that I'm bringing things forth. The other is I've been really digging into coaching people on like same, like how do you find an align on your purpose? Like what does that look like for you? Right? Not what anybody else says, but like feeling comfortable being in that. And then just doing the same for a couple of folks like who are their businesses, like solopreneurs, entrepreneurs, like how do you pursue your business and set it up such that it's aligned to who you are?

your energy, not whatever the norms are. Because once you operate, I love your quote so much now, I'm the worst mom is the business. Once you operate in who you are, everything else falls into place, right? You're not too busy chasing or contorting or like spending that extra energy not being yourself. So that I hope that flowed that feels like it flowed. Yo, but it's been so many years. November 2009 was yeah.

Ashley Miller (29:54)
I kind of wanted to ask, you you mentioned that you did this like a year and a half-ish, little, like less than two years after getting out. I'm curious what was going on at that time. What were you doing and what might've precipitated the post? And you may not know, I don't want to get too far back in the archives. It wasn't that long ago, but I'm kidding, I'm kidding. But that is a little bit of what I'm curious about. I do think.

I certainly want to dive more into this perspective too of the alignment component and how once you are comfortable with who you are or what who you are wants to go do or where you want to go, things do align because you're not chasing maybe what someone else wants you to be or what you think people should chase.

Kafi A. Joseph (30:48)
Exactly,

you're not chasing you're not forcing right both of those things require this energy or this like literal manipulation of mass in a way that

Ashley Miller (30:58)
like

fitting into a box, like, or into a body that is not yours. And I do also find it really interesting. I would love to see, and sometimes I talk about what the world was like when we were a little more primitive. This is getting kind of meta, but if everyone was doing that, I wonder how much more successful we would be globally. Sometimes I talk to people, one of my friends, Super SideQuest, Ray.

is starting shout out to her Etsy shop. I'll, post it in here, but she's starting an Etsy shop and selling these like really beautiful plushies of like dogs, animals. And I said, you know what's so wild is there was a time where we were all creative in our own ways. We were selling things through our crafts. People were blacksmiths and they were like selling, you know, arms. People were artisans and we were just like,

connected through the things that we can do well, which is just feels so far away. I got a little meta with this, but, I think I was basically, I was trying to explain to her, you should totally pursue that even if it isn't the thing for the rest of your life, because you are creative as a person and you've been not being creative as a person because that's not what people told you you should do.

Kafi A. Joseph (32:17)
That part, that part there, and there's so many, because there's not a career field. The cadets just put their branches on that list of branches. There is not a career field that says go paint, go at.

Ashley Miller (32:33)
of course not, of course not, it's straight

Kafi A. Joseph (32:36)
And

Ashley Miller (32:36)
yeah

Kafi A. Joseph (32:36)
it's really interesting to me, and even in just some of these paths ⁓ post-military, right? When people are trying to figure out what to do next or determining, I have had a few classmates and friends that have gone that creative route and it's so difficult for them because the people who are in those routes don't have the kinds of experiences that they have. And so it's really interesting for them to even think about, it? Yeah, and then there's that piece of right.

Ashley Miller (32:59)
Right. How do you marry that?

Kafi A. Joseph (33:04)
Is this what I'm supposed to be doing? Right?

Ashley Miller (33:06)
Because what someone told me I should be doing after I leave the army is going to corporate America and then just repeating what I did in the army there for profit. Not to oversimplify it. And there's also nothing wrong with that.

Kafi A. Joseph (33:20)
But I would just

be fine because there are some people who you're on me and it's with that and they're doing so much yeah in that space and I love I recently came across because I did do acting school a couple years ago

Ashley Miller (33:24)
It's It's worthless. A lot of people.

Wow.

Gator could still be in the future.

Kafi A. Joseph (33:41)
I still get my backstage alerts and so you yes don't have my person for me if perhaps it's in Hollywood or small screen or Netflix. I mean whatever, you know, yeah reality show you guys want to syndicate this podcast. Whatever we're open

Ashley Miller (33:47)
Hollywood.

Whatever

you want to do, we're here for it.

Kafi A. Joseph (33:59)
But that gap, they've started to realize and help to address that gap. And so there's a group, I'm gonna have to post it later because I can't remember it off the top of my head, but there's a group that helps veterans who are creatives get into that space and help relate. And then there's just something that is also also therapeutic and cathartic about being able to be creative after some of the experiences that.

Ashley Miller (34:25)
Exactly. also think a whole different direction we can touch on another time, but there are a lot more really creative people in service. So many. And also part of, like you said, maybe coping with the time part of like post-traumatic with lots of that outlet can be incredibly the like

Kafi A. Joseph (34:35)
Mmm.

Ashley Miller (34:50)
exciting and healing to just be doing completely the opposite. maybe that's some of that that feels really great to people. But I wanted to share, follow this gentleman, Derek Grant, who his Instagram is DG Mindset. But I actually really love daily reviewing his Instagram because he does a lot of this discussion around

how you really have to find alignment by looking at yourself before you look at others. So just because we've been talking about this a lot, he shared something that is really the reason I decided to apply to these schools. And he shares so many great nuggets and perspective pieces, but I'm going to share with you this quote that he shared. I see this happen so often in society. You get to the top of the mountain and you've achieved everything, but you were never aligned.

achievement without alignment ain't anything but vanity. You feel empty and you have all of this, you feel like you're still not enough. It's not enough. You're chasing, you're chasing like a donkey chasing a carrot and you never get to it. So instead alignment over everything. And so he says more, but basically, those CEOs get to the top and I'm overgeneralizing, but anybody.

If you become incredibly successful and it wasn't out of alignment, you're never gonna be happy. So, yes, mean.

Kafi A. Joseph (36:19)
Yeah.

That's like the crux of like everything. So for me, it's human design, like whatever it is, you know, for some people, it's prayer for other people, whatever it is that helps you, it's, you know, to get like, to whatever allows you to understand who you are, right? Whatever allows you to reveal this new idea that stretches your mind at what's possible. Once you know what it is, like alignment is the core of it. Like being aligned

is so huge, like the thing I, one of the things I said I was gonna stop talking about human design, I'm not, so here we go.

Ashley Miller (36:56)
You know what and to be fair, this is a great segue that we've already done into how are you rising a little bit? So keep talking about human design and then we're kind of pivoting into how are you rising because this is big part for you of that, but not just before you but go ahead keep chatting.

Kafi A. Joseph (37:14)
And before I forget, Armed Services Arts Partnership, ASAP, is the name of the program. It's free for veterans, think, and service members. Don't quote me on that. So it is, like, they offer workshops for you in the arts and creative areas.

Ashley Miller (37:33)
This is my brother.

Kafi A. Joseph (37:34)
Yeah, so Armed Services Arts Partnership. ASAP.org. So if you're interested in the creative things, you're a veteran, you're trying to find your hopefully we've uncovered, you know, one of many things for alignment there. But back to the alignment piece, so many people when I, you know, start to talk about or go over their human design and you know, their energy and their profile and all those things, they're concerned before we even get into it is, well, what if I don't know if I want to be pigeonholed into this thing or what if.

It's like you're saying that because you have been operating from a place of where you have been pigeonholed. Yeah, you know Who you are and you start to reinforce and get confident in that? it feels like you don't care. You couldn't care less. I Am operating an alignment forget the haters forget the naysayers like I feel so aligned that I'm gonna keep you

going down this path and I don't know, you know, when we were doing the lead up we were also talking about books that we've read and different concepts like the alchemist is one that I've read about your personal legend and it's like once you know it, you know that's the thing like even though there aren't, I'm not saying there aren't gonna be hard days or there aren't times where you are, you know, wanting to stop.

However, it's like legit the thing. ⁓ This isn't it. Or if I don't pursue this, I may miss that opportunity to find that alternate alignment. So alignment 100%. I love that quote and I co-sign it.

Ashley Miller (39:06)
Alignment over everything. And we should make, we'll make one. He probably does. Derek. Let us know if you want to come on and talk. We'll just let you talk the whole time. But no, and, and if we think about like how we are, how are we rising? And I think about this concept of alignment and how hard it really is.

Kafi A. Joseph (39:07)
over everything.

Let us know if you have a t-shirt, if not...

Good job.

Ashley Miller (39:34)
to get there or not hard. It is this for me, constantly evolving change of what the focus is for alignment. Because I do think in the same token, it can mean a lot of different things. And we're kind of talking about it very, I don't know if it's, to me, I think I've made career the one place of focus. And I feel like the alignment piece to me as I think about it,

Kafi A. Joseph (39:58)
Yeah.

Ashley Miller (40:03)
just is really about knowing where you wanna focus your efforts. I say that to say, when I'm going into this program and I went to this orientation last week and one of the senior students that's about to graduate was like, it's actually incredibly hard. This is like really hard. It's gonna crack you wide open. It's not easy. You're gonna be juggling a lot of things, especially if you have a job and you have a family and then you're also doing this program. And she talked about how...

there are lots of ways to assess yourself and going into the program she recommended this assessment tool about your priorities or what you value, which is, you know, it's an avenue of discussion around alignment. And part of alignment is knowing not just what your purpose is, but what do you value? Yes, and what's important to you. And so I think before I had a family, which was not that long ago, and I have family, I have friends, like my parents.

Kafi A. Joseph (40:59)
Your core unit.

Ashley Miller (41:01)
Yes, now I'm a core unit with another person and I made a small human. that is my family. I realized that I really put my career in the front all the time. It was all I had really. And so having to think about what are my values now? What is most important to me? Balance is really important to me. Being able to be present with my family is really important to me. And I struggle with that a lot.

because I say that and I want that, but my muscle memory and my life of who I'm supposed to be is very career driven and very focused on success that I don't even want. I think there's also this other component of alignment I wanted to make sure you talk about that's incredibly hard. That is about marrying what your values are for yourself internally to how that comes out and lives in the world. And it's just also really hard to do all the time. And so as I'm doing this program, I've said,

Balance is a challenge. It's important to me. I want to prioritize my family. I want to be present and I don't want to sit with Layla and be worried about 50 phone calls or emails because this is fleeting and it happens fast.

Kafi A. Joseph (42:15)
I got my uncle and I were talking and we got to that recently ⁓ Talking about my hand my shoulder, but we got on that. I don't know how we got here We got on that life piece that life around values. He's like what you what you do reflects your what you value How you operate reflects what you value? Yeah, oftentimes we have a values mismatch and so I think is Interested it says you either need to acknowledge and say no, I'm operating

this way and making time for these things because it's actually what I value or what you shared, which is be aware of it and start to create the behaviors. Yeah, to change. It's not easy.

Ashley Miller (42:55)
to change.

Yeah.

And I think for me, as I think about like where I am and how I'm doing and then how my rising, taking this step into this program is a part of that for me and trying to change my behaviors to match those values in alignment is a really big part for me too. But I read this book by the author of Ypry Love.

Kafi A. Joseph (43:18)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Ashley Miller (43:26)
called Big Magic and it was a lot about purpose and how do you be creative and where do you find that nexus of getting to doing the things that you love. And I brought up the alignment piece around values too because I think that for some people maybe alignment includes a career that is really focused around what is their purpose. And this book, when I was in a really pivotal time transitioning out,

working at Lou Lemon, not sure what I wanted to do next before I started working in executive search. I felt really tied to the idea that the next thing I did needed to be a career move and I needed to be aligned with my purpose and exactly what I was meant to do for my whole life. And that's just a really grandiose romantic idea. But the book challenged me to think that really maybe that's what happens, but also

Kafi A. Joseph (44:04)
Yeah.

Ashley Miller (44:22)
You can be living your purpose and it not be the center of your career base. Maybe it's just alignment through values and how you prioritize what you care about. Maybe it's that you get to paint on the side and that brings you a lot of joy and you don't have to make that your career. Maybe you do eventually. I think the hope is always that whatever that, you know, aligned pieces is connected there. But I guess all of that to say career isn't the only place that purpose can be found.

Kafi A. Joseph (44:32)
.

Yeah,

this is so true. As you said that, I remember a recent reflection I did. I've been in February, I went to a startup accelerator for my app idea.

Ashley Miller (45:04)
Which,

how amazing. I was so inspired by that. So I just want to take a second and be like, we didn't, I should have stopped us earlier and celebrated this, but like Cathy is creating a really cool app for people. Like she's an entrepreneur. She's founding an app that is amazing. So many people couldn't even imagine how much impact that's going to have one day. But I just think that that inspired me to.

look towards something that felt more aligned personally. I just want to take a second and celebrate you doing that and going to this course and graduating from this course because it was really hard and you crushed it. ⁓

Kafi A. Joseph (45:40)
Thanks

for that because I legit was about to like gloss over it. So it was the founder Institute and I got into it while I was on my second sabbatical, but it started when I went back to work. So was doing 30 hour weeks for the course while legitimately doing my day job. I hit kind of a stall after we graduated, you know, I have an amazing researcher. She's a PhD neuroscience researcher. we've she's been kind of pushing a lot of our research.

along and now we're trying to figure out a few things before we can launch maybe early next year. Not maybe, before we launch early next year. I was in that, I had found myself in that all or nothing thinking that we talked about and so what you mentioned about it doesn't have to be the career you're in right now ⁓ or even ever right if we think about

Ashley Miller (46:19)
That's huge!

Kafi A. Joseph (46:32)
some of our parents or grandparents, they didn't have the luxury of, know, the questions that we're asking ourselves, they didn't have the luxury of it. And yet they still found ways, some of them, many of them, to live these fulfilled lives because they focus on what matters. I have to work to put food on the table, work isn't my life, like it is for some of us. My family is important. You know, these things, you look at some of the sacrifices and the things that our parents have done for us or just the ways they set us up. So anyways, and so I finally, I had been doing some reflection

I finally got to that point where I literally wrote a song using AI. Y'all, if you haven't used the Suno app, it is so dope.

Ashley Miller (47:12)
Amazing

have a share with me. It saved my life ⁓

Kafi A. Joseph (47:17)
If music motivates you, if you use music for mantra playlists or if you love, like I have a million and one playlists that correlate to whatever I'm going through in my life ever since I could record songs off the radio, yes I'm that old. ⁓

Ashley Miller (47:33)
you

Kafi A. Joseph (47:35)
But no, in all seriousness, I have been using this app. Summer camp for the girls, we use it as our Steam event where they lyrics using AI and then they use this music.

Ashley Miller (47:47)
In summer camp, don't know if everyone knows this, but Kathy's a member and leader on the Emily Perez Foundation.

Kafi A. Joseph (47:57)
Yeah, we host a summer camp. We host two things, summer camps for young girls, middle school age, and then we do boot camps, boot camps for women veterans on just resources to help navigate times where you need to reinforce your resilience. And so when I talk about the kids and the tea, it's the summer camp kids. ⁓ So we, found this app and then I have just been using it. And so I recently like recently went inward and was like, I am not feeling a

And so I wrote this song called I am Aligned and one of the lines and I didn't think about it until you brought up alignment over everything and how it work doesn't have to be anything but one of the lines in my song is that it's this sentiment of I honor the work they do today, right because how silly would it be to be disdainful of or you know, like all these experiences they have where I am right now everything else it would be silly for me to just be like I can't believe

that I'm stuck in this space, but that's where I was. I was being like super negative about where I was and I wasn't in the work that I should be doing. I'm not doing it. I should, should, should, should. I'm supposed to, supposed to, supposed to, right? I'd seen this idea. It's been stretched and I am not there yet. And so it was, yeah, it was, it was a, I'm looking for like a date. It was.

Ashley Miller (49:14)
really helpful.

like mind altering, life changing.

Kafi A. Joseph (49:24)
transformational

for me to actually get to that point.

where I realized I could say that. the words that I have are, today I live in a lined purpose, I honor the work I do at this time and nurture the vision that I've been called to build. Through my actions, what is meant to be, to exist will be. I'm not waiting to become I am the moment. She is me, I am she. But that piece, I finally get into that point of like, I can honor what I'm doing today even if it's not the thing and still the

I let my still focus on my vision and move towards it has been that plus the know the idea The alchemist in your heart and going after your personal legend has been driving me to keep going You know like slow and steady some days other days super fast and so like that when you say alignment and everything else That's kind of what it is to me too. You don't have to be exactly in the thing

Ashley Miller (50:21)
Right,

right. And it's so funny because I'm just going to share this. Caffee shared that app with me, songwriting, Suno. And I love it because to piggyback off what you just said, it's not an easy journey to kind of figure out. Like everybody's just living our lives trying to figure it out, but we can make it really hard. I also made a song for myself that was very different. I was feeling very lost in the sauce. so she shared this app.

And when I say lost in the sauce, I don't know if it was time of year in our defense. A lot of people had a hard last year. This has been a hard year, but we're not the only ones that would say that in our defense.

Kafi A. Joseph (51:00)
December though, this has been a hard year, but I just realized we are...

Ashley Miller (51:04)
It's almost,

yeah, we're almost maybe out of it. We'll guess we'll see what next year holds. But yeah, I was also having more time and I think there's a lot of value in, I guess when we think about alignment, but in kind of re-grounding in what are your values and letting those things help you find alignment or what do you want them to be, but also manifesting those things by doing things like writing a song that reminds you how you want to feel or what you want to channel.

And I had to, a little bit different, but I had to write a line in mind that basically said, everything always works out. Things always go my way from this experience. Only good will come. What is meant for me will always find me. And I'm choosing love and light and peace. But, you know, I think a few of my friends shared some of these pieces that I put into this song, but I needed to hear that to feel that.

Kafi A. Joseph (51:52)
That's beautiful.

Ashley Miller (52:00)
And so I think there's this component of manifesting and telling yourself and changing your perspective and changing your mindset that really matters too, that is what you're talking about.

Kafi A. Joseph (52:13)
Yeah, yeah. And, you know, we're gonna get a little woo, ethereal. And that science frequency. Get up what the frequency does to water molecules. And we are water.

Ashley Miller (52:17)
We are getting a little...

It is! It

Yeah.

I have to show this before I forget. I don't know if we've talked about this before, but I was reading an article through a friend. Neurologists recently compiled a study, don't come from me, this isn't exact, that people who think they're lucky are lucky. There's this percentage that I don't have, I don't know if you read this too, Caffee, but I was floored and it's changed the way that I think about. My mom used to call me lucky as a kid and I'm like, I'm not lucky, who's lucky?

Kafi A. Joseph (52:51)
similar studies.

Ashley Miller (53:00)
And I'm like, I am lucky. I am lucky. It work out for me. But it literally changes the, okay, I'm not gonna say this right, but the, your brain, okay, your brain, yes, you're more open to things you embark on journeys that other people might view outwardly as lucky, because your mind was more open to the possibility that this would happen, can.

Kafi A. Joseph (53:02)
This is crazy.

Yeah, ⁓

Ashley Miller (53:27)
So I'm really just taking this to mean I will win the lottery. I will win the lottery. know, me and my best friend are always like, we don't even enter the lottery. I'm going to enter it. But I do think that in line with this, that really also changed the way that I rethought about my choices and the way I think of things.

Kafi A. Joseph (53:48)
Well, and the other thing, so I having a conversation with someone, if you're listening, you know who you are. We have a conversation about luck, right? And so there's also this, so there's that neurochemical piece. And also though, there's this idea of luck is where opportunity meets preparation. So if you're sitting here thinking, good things happen to me, know, I'm good, whatever, there's also things that you're doing. And so you're like, ⁓

Ashley Miller (54:01)
Yes, that's what you fit

Kafi A. Joseph (54:16)
I'm ready for this thing to happen. Let me get ready. So people who are lucky or thinking something will happen are also preparing themselves. They're like, all right, somebody is going to come reach out and syndicate our podcast. Somebody asked me to come to Hollywood. Let me get ready. Let me do the things. Let's make sure we're recording. We're dropping episodes. We're engaged.

Ashley Miller (54:36)
people

were planning the next season. Yeah.

Kafi A. Joseph (54:40)
Exactly. so, you know, there's the, and I'm doing this to ground it for people, you know, our audience may not be as woo as we are, but there's science in all the woo, right? And so, yes, those people are thinking that and they're not just laying around like daydreaming, they're also doing the things. And so if you are prepared, an opportunity will pop up and because you are prepared, you are air quote lucky. Someone who's not prepared or is not thinking about that or not open to it or not doing the things, when that opportunity pops up, they're not ready.

Ready?

Ashley Miller (55:11)
Yes, serendipity, I find, is not just woo-woo. It's like, you were prepared so you could take the opportunity when it came to you, mentally and in any other way possible.

Kafi A. Joseph (55:24)
Yeah, I mean, and ⁓ my gosh, and we had this conversation, it was about merch, so.

Ashley Miller (55:30)
I was about to, my God. When you were like, we're manifesting, I was like, we're dropping merch. I'm just letting you guys know it's not here, we're manifesting it. We've got the ideas.

Kafi A. Joseph (55:40)
It's happening.

It's happening. Maybe for Galentine's Day, if you want to get your best out, we'll have some stuff by then. And in that conversation, though, we were talking about rising, right? And so we're talking about how we're rising. Right. And the intentionality when we picked Warrior Women Rising, like it wasn't out of, you know, random like that sounds good. Rising is this act. It's not it's it's it's active. Yes, it's it's something that's continuous. It's ongoing.

Ashley Miller (56:04)
ending. Yeah.

Kafi A. Joseph (56:09)
Yeah, and so as we're sitting here talking about how we're rising, ⁓ even as I said when I listened to our first podcast and this one.

It's really fun to see the progression, the growth, to know that it's something that's actively happening and to know that we could look at today and if today is a down day or a bummer day or whatever for this month, when you zoom out, all of those things still are progressing in that positive upward motion of rising. So when I think about how we're rising, it's felt slow in the past few months. I'm recovering from shoulder surgery. I can't do my

job I can barely, know, can barely, like I do this stuff, I'm tired, everything takes 50 times as long to do and yet still rising, right? And not even still, I wouldn't even have to qualify. And I am rising and there are things to do there, so. ⁓

Ashley Miller (57:04)
I honestly,

if I think about the past few months for you, I mean, it's been challenging. So I'd love to hear how has that been for you?

Kafi A. Joseph (57:14)
Yeah, and I don't know if we have clearly said this or not, or if I've clearly said it, so I just sort of ground for the audience what exactly this is that's been challenging. I was supposed to be taking six weeks off of work back in August for shoulder surgery, old army injury, and had the surgery, three weeks into it, fell.

and tore everything and then had to have another surgery right back into the same spots and then have had a series of complications ⁓ since then ⁓ still. ⁓ just getting the surgery done, Ashley and I have talked about we are independent women. We've got to fiercely independent. Don't tell me what to do. I got this. I live with a husky. And so just having the surgery in the first place was ⁓ tough because it

meant that I needed to rely on other people and ⁓

Ashley Miller (58:12)
You like couldn't

even say it. No, because I had to like.

Kafi A. Joseph (58:17)
You know,

I had to rely on other people and I'm thankful that I have the friends and the family and the support system that I can actually rely on right and and then I've been there's a lot of things I wanted to do and accomplish at work and my day job that Once the second surgery happened. I was like, well there goes that right and so Sitting around not able to do a lot has offered me the opportunity to Do a fair amount of self-reflection and introspection and it hasn't been easy

However, I think it's been necessary that you know, that's where I am That's where some of this some of this alignment some of these realizations have come through this process I had an opportunity to Write do a visceral vision exercise and write my vision for a year from it was right before my birthday So a year for my birthday where I see myself and so on top of like having read the alchemist the alchemist I reread it for the third time Focusing on my personal legend the alignment thing in the song Writing this visceral vision turning that into a song

and just like listening to and really anchoring to that. I've been moving, it's been slow, like there's some, there's been a couple weeks where, and definitely the weeks right after the surgery is a plural that I couldn't do anything and just being in a place of acceptance, right? Like this is where I am, I have support, I'm supported and where I am is exactly where I'm supposed to be and everything will work out. Yeah, so that's, it's...

It's not easy, like I think the thing I think about when you ask this one of the things that popped up for me, I have to get some testing done to figure out like why I have additional pain, but it's not in my shoulder. And so recently my shoulder has started to feel really good. And I remember thinking two weeks ago, but I don't.

Ashley Miller (1:00:07)
No.

Kafi A. Joseph (1:00:08)
Yeah, I was just like, ⁓ it's not getting better. Like I didn't want to be positive. I'm like, you people leave me alone. Stop telling me it's going to be fine. It never doesn't feel like it's going to be fine. ⁓ you know, I've been living under an ice machine for months, you know, for 24 hours a day at one point every night. And so I'm starting to feel better. So I'm seeing, you know, through the other side. And so I think where I'm going with that is because of my support system, like if everyone had been left to my own device devices, or if

People around me were also negative. They were like holding on to that for me when I couldn't and so I'm on the other side of it So I I do recognize intellectually like years from now. I'm not gonna remember any of this gonna be a blip It'd be like oh, yeah that year when I had to deal with this the surgery and I've had surgeries before and it's the same thing I know it and experienced it, but it's been hard, but it's definitely been I think revelational to help reveal some things for me about myself

Ashley Miller (1:01:06)
And it always does that whole life thing. Isn't it wild too though that like things like that was two weeks ago, two weeks ago, I found out I got into this program and I was like, I can't do this. There's no way I'm going to be able to do just, I do think this comes back to this perspective of mindset and how we think about it. And you bring up a point, sometimes we need people to help us on, and honestly us doing this through this whole period.

from start to finish, starting from when we came up with this idea a couple August ago, has helped me a lot immensely through finding alignment, which is part of why we do this and are hoping we can help other people by chatting a little bit about where we are and how we're thinking about things, because it's hard.

Kafi A. Joseph (1:01:50)
Yes. ⁓

Before we do that real quick, something you just said, it's hard. Give credit, like this was your idea and I just jumped on and was like, this is amazing. I would love to support and share stories. And to that point, like we're also doing what isn't happening in a lot of the Instagram posts or the LinkedIn posts or the whatever where people are sharing just the...

I haven't posted on Instagram a lot. I post on Lysana. I have not posted because I've been in such a crappy state. I didn't want to invite it. I didn't want people to see it, you know, whatever. And I guess I'm sharing for the first time here. But I haven't even updated my sibling chat. My siblings were like, are you alive? brother, shout out to Jeremy when you hear this, my brother in the sibling chat, I've been avoiding doing an update. He's like, hey, hey, how you doing? It's good to see you on Strava. I forgot the

Peloton connects to Strava's. He knows I'm alive, but I haven't wanted to share because it's not good news and I just didn't want anyone to worry and all the other stuff. by design, we are sharing the not so pretty parts and we're asking people to share those parts.

you can know that you're not alone, what you're experiencing is something that other people have experienced and you can get another perspective as our audience on, you know, how you might tackle it. So yes, thank you for that. You know, thanks for that, Ashley.

Ashley Miller (1:03:25)
Yeah, I could I could talk about this all day honestly because and you said like I just this is your idea I just hop on this thing. Well, it was my idea. I've wanted to do this for a long time. That's true. But I also like how you didn't go be a coyote girl didn't do it myself. I mean, I felt better about doing it when I always wanted to partner I always wanted to do this with somebody else because

Kafi A. Joseph (1:03:32)
You

Ashley Miller (1:03:53)
I'm great, but so are you. And I just think what we also aren't talking about that we've kind of talked about throughout this whole discussion too is it's easier with other people. Sometimes you can't get there by yourself. Some of the alignment piece, I don't know anybody who's full alignment is like, I want to be at the top by myself. So I, I do think that it was my idea, but I wouldn't have brought it to life without someone else in this.

universe like without you. So I'm really thankful for that because also since we're talking about it, Caffie has been going through a challenging time when we decided to do this. I was a year postpartum and it was incredibly challenging for me. I don't know how Caffie had conversations with me for months. was just like barely together. I was like, I don't even have time for this thing. I really want to do like I have no time for this. And even in that journey,

Kafi A. Joseph (1:04:49)
you

Ashley Miller (1:04:52)
I feel like we've tried to reground and re-center and continue to reassess for this podcast what alignment looks like, doing this for ourselves and what good looks like to us and what isn't gonna work. So just wanted to kind of shout that out too.

Kafi A. Joseph (1:05:15)
Yeah, no, I think we designed something that we wish we had. in that, the goal is to create something that is helpful for others. I I feel like you are adept and the skillful one you're really great at. we just, look through our human design turns around communication. Now I understand why at the recaps you're so good at it. And then I just like, I like glob on, I'm like, yes, and that part and this part. And I feel like you're taking notes. I'm like.

Should I have been taking notes? What are we talking about?

Ashley Miller (1:05:48)
No, no, and I think we're good team and on that note of recapping, I feel like we did recap the episode already, but one thing we haven't done that we like to do, we should do with each other is how can we, and it's just us, but I do wanna think about how can we, with others, as we kinda talked about some really cool things that people can.

research or use as support. I want to talk about those things like books and podcasts and stuff like that.

Kafi A. Joseph (1:06:18)
Thank

So let's start

with book category. So books, the one that I thought of was the alchemist. That's like a classic if you're into that stuff. it's just about, it's like a fable. It tells a story of someone pursuing their journey. And I won't give it away, but lots of allegories, et cetera. And that's what's motivated me. And it took me three times before I finally read it. And then I re-read it three times.

Ashley Miller (1:06:49)
And

he has a bunch of books that are really great. So, holo-quelo in general, he's just like a great resource. Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. I really loved that book. It's one that I mentioned. DG Mindset is a cool Instagram to follow, Derek Grant, about alignment in the pathway to finding you and results.

Kafi A. Joseph (1:06:52)
by Paulo Coelho, yes.

What's a good Instagram to follow? I don't know, there's so many out there. Human Design, at Human Design, at Human Design Blueprint are pretty good ones. You can also just go to Jovian Archive and that's like the definitive source of it. You can also hit me up, if you DM me. What's the, yeah, just DM us, I can point you to some things. I think what's important is, what's more important is once you know your design to find a community of people who are of that design, it's kind of like the difference between

The difference between a man trying to tell a woman how to navigate the world as a woman and a woman telling a woman how to navigate the world as a woman or a woman telling a man how to navigate the world as a man. Just finding your people who have had similar experiences.

Ashley Miller (1:08:00)
Armed Services Art Partnership, you shared that for creatives.

Kafi A. Joseph (1:08:03)
Yeah, if you are a veteran that's, I think even if you're in, you're thinking about where you want to get into the creative space, the arm services, art partnership, and then yeah, if you're in DC area and you're looking for acting classes, Studio Acting Conservatory, super great program, very dedicated instructors, cool community.

Ashley Miller (1:08:24)
Suno,

which is an AI songwriting app. You should.

Kafi A. Joseph (1:08:30)
Yeah, if you are into music and you're tired of trying to find playlists or songs that exactly replicate or indicate what you're feeling, Suno is pretty dope for that. You can write your own songs, you can tell it what genre you want it to look like, all the things.

Ashley Miller (1:08:50)
And in general, I was going to say something my therapist shared with me when I was feeling very exploratory. I'm not sure what I want to do. I'm sure what I don't like and don't want to do is that she just encouraged me to find people doing things I was thinking about doing or wanted to do. And so just in general, I would say sometimes it can feel

information overload, unindated, inundated with so much to look at and observe and take in. If a thing in your mind is calling to you, if it's ⁓ purpose, if it's a value, if it's a place, if it's a career, if it's a person, just explore that. See if you can find somebody, talk to your friends about it. You can DM us.

Kafi A. Joseph (1:09:32)
Thank

Ashley Miller (1:09:44)
We can be friends. You're a badass. We're your friends. Explore it.

Kafi A. Joseph (1:09:48)
Yes. Somehow. That's super. So one of the, there's a sabbatical project that exists out there. That's what they're called, the sabbatical project. And one of their, one of the tenets that they pose and they preach is around that, exploring. So if you are seeking to figure out, you know, what to do, because a lot of sabbaticals are an opportunity for you to explore what's next. ⁓

they highly recommend exploring, finding people who are doing that. And just a similar, like that resonated with me. You heard me go, yes. The other thing, a version of that was in the...

startup accelerated founder institute they told us like fine working groups of other founders because whatever it is that you're trying to you're attempting to do that you want to do that you're pursuing it likely is if you're this concerned about it where you're looking for people who are doing it it likely is not it's different from what you've been doing and so you need to be around people who are doing that if you're I'm sitting around with my friends who aren't founders talking about all right I'm about to go do this thing it sounds crazy and they might talk me out of it but if you're around a bunch of people who are already doing that or who are eating and sleeping in then you

get inspired and motivated and aligned, you find alignment in being with them. So I wholeheartedly support what your therapist said and that you were practicing.

Ashley Miller (1:11:11)
No,

it's important. Cool. Yeah. I guess it's the end today, but we will see you guys next time. Just wanted to shout out how you can find us really quickly.

Kafi A. Joseph (1:11:22)
Our Instagram

is at warrior.women.rise.

Ashley Miller (1:11:26)
and our

website.

Kafi A. Joseph (1:11:29)
is warriorwomenrise.buzzsprout.com

Ashley Miller (1:11:32)
and our

email address is warrior.women.rise at gmail and you can find us on spotify and itunes apple as well

Kafi A. Joseph (1:11:40)
Yep, really

cool feature that you can text us if you wanted to. We'll get those messages in our podcast. Yeah, so this is great.

Ashley Miller (1:11:50)
Can't wait to see you guys next time. It's good to be with you all. You're a badass if someone didn't tell you today. We'll see

Kafi A. Joseph (1:11:57)
Go to the mirror if they didn't tell you we're telling you and we're telling you to go tough go stand in the mirror Put your hands on your hips and say I am a badass You don't use a kid voice you can just you

Ashley Miller (1:12:09)
yeah

you use your big- you use the big girl voice