Cat Scratch Fever | EP 317 - GFP

This week the boys dive into some Pittsburgh news, including the Mon Incline shutting down. The crew debates the future of the iconic incline while the Pittsburgh Scanner delivers chaos as usual — from a woman allegedly huffing canned air inside Vento’s Pizza to people driving around Homewood in a fake garbage truck trying to collect trash like some kind of low-budget sanitation heist.

Corndick of the Week gets dark with an Arkansas principal and teachers getting arrested over a “child fight club” incident, while in Hawaii a tourist who threw a rock at an endangered monk seal got a street-level lesson from a local man who wasn’t having it. Brother in Arms features a woman suing after losing her job over an airplane seat controversy, UK kids effortlessly fooling online age verification systems with fake mustaches and video game characters, a Lamborghini driver shutting down internet outrage by revealing his prosthetic leg, and a group of seniors pulling off an all-time prank by cutting a car in half and making it look like it crashed into their school. Plus Gear Grinders and another absolutely cursed round of What Would Greenfield Do.

Everything GFP:

https://linktr.ee/gfp

Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/show/7viuBywVXF4e52CHUgk1i5 

Produced by Lane Media ⁠

https://www.lanemediapgh.com/

#GreenfieldsFinest #PittsburghPodcast #PittsburghNews #MonIncline #PittsburghScanner #CorndickOfTheWeek #BrotherInArms #OddNews #SeniorPrank #InternetFails #PodcastClips #GearGrinders #WhatWouldGreenfieldDo #WildNews #ComedyPodcast

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:00

What would you do, Jolie? You're the world family. Giving up your steep recording, baby? Fuck you. Service. You're poor playing.

SPEAKER_03 0:05

Unless it was hurt, until we'd start hitting on it. You want that window seat or you want the mile hot club? You're like, no, it hooked. Hey, what's going on, everybody? Welcome back to another episode of Green for Flash Podcast. I'm your host, Michael Z Birdside Dell. To the left of me, it's Kenny. I'm gonna talk over you, Polish hill. What up, PHK? There we go. Not yet. Sorry. Apologize. To the right of me, back in action. We got my main, main man, Dr. Shule. What up, Dr. Schul? What's up, buddy?

SPEAKER_06 0:44

AKA Casanova.

SPEAKER_03 0:46

Yeah. What's up, Nova? You can't turn that off. Woohoo! Shifting a curse. Hold on. To the right of him, my main, main, main man, my co-host, Angry John. What's up, Angry? What's up? Sponsor Reed. We'd like to thank Arthur over at Minecraft on Kennywood Boulevard. Go see him. And he'll fix your car. Okay. Come hang out on Thursdays from 8 to 10 for Bar Bingo at Butler Street Derby. It's free. Great prizes. Drink specials, food specials, lots of laughs. I'm hosting the bingo this week. Stop in Thursday night, 8 to 10. Bar bingo. Be here at Butler Street Derby. We got a lot to catch up on. How has everyone been? Surely, it's been a month since we've seen you. Tell us about how was your uh Texas? Oh, it was great, man. It was nice. It's uh nice to see how the other half lived. You know what I mean? But I mean, like, diagnose, like, what did you get? Like, I mean, like, what's it's beautiful? You get to like do stuff like you're like. Do you do anything besides hit on all the women at the party with him? He'd let them hit on him too. Oh dog can hunt. I like the top golf stuff. Silver Fox. Silver Fox. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Ah, you look at him getting all red. It looks like Sandy Cup. She doesn't listen to this anymore, does she? She will now reserve this. There's only four, there's only four people listed. So three of them are gonna call her. They uh yeah, dude. Should we looking all great and stuff, having himself a time all over the all over the United States? Getting every fits in. You ride a horse yet? They teach you how to ride a horse? Nah, I'm not a horse guy, man. I I don't know. It doesn't look comfortable. You ever see someone ride a horse? Does that look good for the balls? I could see you on an episode of Land Man. Yeah, like driving like a nice fucking F25. Is that what you're doing? Are you going for that? Now I'm looking at the beard. You're always in Texas. I think you're going for the Billy Bob Thornton on Landman. I gotta fucking all my oil oil right now. Yeah, that's how I love an oil. I love an oil, but all I need is one. Mate, I heard there's one up the fort. Old E comes out. It's just septic pork. Yeah. It's just fucking dookie. Good fertilizer. Dookie from Hazelwood. It's a sewer pipe. Goes into greenfield.

SPEAKER_05 3:24

Otherwise, it's not grocer from Hazelwood.

SPEAKER_03 3:27

It's just any dookie pipe is not good. I slept next to one back in '84. So uh, dude, we had our last live event. Um, little surprise. I think if we uh I re-watched the footage of the podcast a couple weeks ago. Kenny said he was coming, and uh he let all 11 people all 11 people with the all 11 people at the show are gross. Heartbroken. Heartbroken, dude. I'm gonna tell you this. I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna tell you this. For the amount of people that were there, it wasn't a lot, it was probably like 18-20 people. Fucking we had so much fun that night. I thought it was it was a fucking just a great crowd, good time. Thank you to everyone that came, dude. Uh, especially the guy and his wife, I can't remember your name, but I took a picture of you and drove down from Johnstown. They've been listening for years, and like they were like, Oh, this was fucking great. And yeah, I was like, damn, dude, it like made it kind of like fired me up. Like, like today, I was almost like, eh, kind of at the I thought about that, and I was like, you know, get back in there. You know what I mean? Like, no, you did, dude. I thought your set fucking smashed it. Like, because like you said, it wasn't exactly a fucking ton of people there, right? So everybody did good, but when you came out, dude, like some of the jokes I've heard a million times, but they're you just you were on and killed it. Like people were like in tears laughing. I started ripping on with some audience members. Our boy uh Schuster was there, and like he looks like he cut his own hair with a butter knife, and like it just was like so hacked up, and then Jordan's dad was there, it was fucking it was hilarious, like watching Schuster interact with Jordan's dad, and like I was like trying to explain like how tough Schuster is because he got ran over twice, and then like his first response is like, Where's my cigarettes? And I was like, a hundred years from now, people would be like, You're you're tough as a Schuster, you know what I mean? Like you're Schuster tough. He's like, I couldn't even light my own cigarette, baby. I had to get my knees like that. I was like, it was just like it was like a good. I'm glad we got to do something live, and I'm glad some people came. It was fucking fun, man. It was when we gonna do the Greenfield podcast smasher down here. That'll be the last episode ever. We'll do one. Well, I heard 50 people in the room so no one can hear the other. They had um we're not even gonna do it, we're just gonna hang out. It's just gonna be like us hanging out. You'll be walking around. We'll be mic'd up.

SPEAKER_05 5:55

Walk around the mic like we're fucking GoPros. Yes. But the good news is I heard I heard come August, this was the final podcast or final live show, but come August, I heard there's gonna be a reunion for Street Therapy. Sometime in August, we haven't walked it down yet. Jackson has a special nine, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:12

Yeah, Jack will have specials, eight dollar Miller license. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Instead of nine dollar nine dollar beer night, they all yeah, we'll do we'll definitely get like one last. More like a party thing. Like more, yeah, instead of like you're you know, and so both you both of our audience members can come down here. Yeah, both yeah, all two people listening right now, and the and the you know here's the fucking crazy thing. More people paid for goddamn tickets. So thank you if you bought a ticket. More people bought uh there was more people that didn't buy tickets and actually showed up. I sold I couldn't get to the link. It ended up selling like it was like 26 tickets. I tried to fucking buy them on the thing like Friday and it was like shut up. No lie. The guy that made it had the store time at 8 a.m. 8 a.m. He's a fucking idiot. So there were more people.

SPEAKER_05 7:09

So there were more people.

SPEAKER_03 7:12

It's like it's sold out over here. But I changed it on the Facebook, but like I would bet my life against a bag of dunks and no one showed up at the squirrel hill sports board at 8 o'clock in the morning. Bullshit. Bullshit.

SPEAKER_05 7:28

I drive past her on the bus. I drive through Squirrel Hill when Friday morning, now I drove past. And I was wondering, I was like, what the fuck are these people doing at her? Show eight to the club.

SPEAKER_03 7:35

When they say they probably only waited about five, six hours before they left. They weren't looking for comedy, I'll tell you that. They were looking for cigarette butts. It's a meth clinic early. They were on late night Thursday. Said, fuck it, it's just shows it eight. Let's show up. Rizotto nailed it. They were looking for cigarette butts left over from the night before. Oh my god, I can't believe someone only smoked three-fourths of their cigarette. Is that a lucky strike? It must be my lucky day. I can't believe there's all these filters smashed up on the ground wet. You find three of them, you break that up, you could roll it in a paper. That's like a whole leaf cigarette. Dude, uh, Sunday, we we all got to kind of like us through about the hangout, John started, had her communion. Yeah, Josie had a communion with her with her uh with her cousin Vivian. Yeah, what so it was a co-communion had the uh after party at Kacina Vitale.

SPEAKER_05 8:26

Is that the last communion party for you, Johnny? Yes, that's the youngest?

SPEAKER_03 8:30

Yes, nice. So Kacina Vitali did a good job, all the food was good. The wait staff. Surely wasn't it? Wasn't the weight staff good? Yeah, they always kept my drink full. Ah, they were so dark and hot.

SPEAKER_04 8:47

Oh, you old coo's hot thing, friends.

SPEAKER_03 8:53

Yeah, think, yeah, friends. I'm not trying to drink something. I feel like trying to try to be a decent human being. God forbid, with my friends. Dude, it wasn't even your friends, but his family, it was Dr. Dave. And you just couldn't really give a shit either way. He was like he was like, dude, it's a La Liga. Like soccer games, yeah. He's sitting there watching socks. He's watching soccer on his phone, drinking Tito's and like dude, you can't put like Bezer, Beezer's just a different human being, dude. He could drink three Tito's. I was like, You want this meat while you drink a cup of coffee and move on with his life. He's not supposed to have a piece of cake and go home. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, right, dude. He was supposed to see so he's got an off switch, is what you're saying. Wait, wait, he was supposed to fucking he's just a big dude and it's the power, much like you guys.

SPEAKER_05 9:36

I feel that it's uh you give me one, two, forget it.

SPEAKER_03 9:39

Yeah, I'm in. Yeah, one's not enough, and a thousand is too bad. I don't start up the truck if I ain't fucking so get my toe in the water. Mish was talking all this shit how he's a great father, uh husband, he's gonna fucking do this for his wife, or he's gonna grill all kind of food. We've made him do so many fucking shots. He went home, he didn't grill nothing. Rosie was like, Diana, how was uh you know the cookout that he had? She was like, What cookout? Good thing it was supposed to be a surprise. Because we were like, dude, what do you got? We were like, what do you got at home to make you know what are you grilling? He was like, No, dude, I have the giant eagle on the way home. Like, yeah, sorry, Diana, you're not having a Mother's Day. Yeah, happy Mother's Day, yeah. You you don't have to listen to him talk to you. Yeah, but that was like, yeah, the food was fucking, it was so good. Like that, them steaks were they were dynamite. Oh my dude. Dude, that's the thing, it's like an Italian restaurant, but every time I go there, I'm like, let me get the flood. Yeah, the steak was amazing. Yeah, what's that stuff? It's called like risotto, yeah. I love that stuff. You be able to do that. He was sitting next to me, he was like, yo, what the fuck is this? I'm like, it's risotto, you'll love it. Yeah. I was like, tore it up. Yeah, I've had it before with sauce. That was more I think I did, I don't fucking know, but that was more like a cheesy carnival. That was delicious. I could eat a bucket of this. Bucket of risotto. Yeah, just fucking pour it down my gizzard. Just work.

SPEAKER_06 11:07

I'm so pumped up for the Greenfield's Finest podcast fucking party.

SPEAKER_03 11:11

Yeah, I don't know when it is. We should make it a day party.

SPEAKER_05 11:14

It's we should have Sunday and um, where is it at? Where are we going? No, no, okay. Saturday, even better. What's the place? Where's the communion party? We're gonna book the room and have steaks and fucking risotos.

SPEAKER_03 11:24

Yeah, pockets and we're having it here. Jack's having eight dollar mill of lightning. 12, 20 mimosas. Yeah. If we're gonna sell them green food waters to three, we'll still go like a six pack of those. No, I drank them all, dude. I fucking drank. I was trying to I drank one of them. I was trying to save a couple and I fucking drank them. Dude, mine's like it's like sucking in on the bottles, like you know, shrinking or something. I remember when Todd did that for us. We're gonna be like that, that, like one uh company that like like the going out of business company. Going out of business company. It's always gonna be like our last company. That Adam Sandler movie. Yeah, yeah. What the fuck is that? Zohan. Zoehan going out of business is good for business. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like so many people were like, is this your last call me show? It's like, I think it is to make sure you're there. I made sure like I try to like do that, and then like still we go away. Like, I had such a good time. Yeah, well, we're gonna be back in next month, everybody. Get your tickets now. We'll see how to fucking um leave. Keep fucking leaving. Yeah, keep fucking leaving. Like you have to drag me away. Like seven million farewell tours. That's what we're gonna do. Every time one last person's gonna be there. By the fourth one, there'll be no one there. That being said, Greenfall's fine is for Union comedy show coming on.

SPEAKER_05 12:47

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:51

A good old fashioned party wouldn't be bad. Yeah, that that would be something fun. I am a Cho the real people were, right? I almost come at noon. You know what I thought would be like kind of cool? Obviously, do something here or something like that, or like how about like a good old-fashioned, like, get get everybody out on the gateway clipper? Like, I don't want the clipper reaping the divorce. You're talking about renting a good ship with Lollipop? Yeah, bird bus. I will I yeah, I who wants to drive around. I would want to uh the the being out on the river though might be like an experience, yeah. Someone's gonna yeah, or we could just do it here. I think that's probably what we'll do. Yeah, yeah, that's not like it's very it's very non-kicked. Keep it simple, yeah. Yeah, you don't have to buy tickets, just come on down, just come drink with us. Yeah, right. We'll be on Neville Island. Oh, yeah. Oh, don't worry, there'll be tickets for it. There'll be some kind of extortion. Yeah, right. You think this is free? You gotta put some skin in the game to hang out with the fucking uh celebrities. It'll be it'll be like, no, no cover, and I'll be like three dollars to get in. It's like people be like, I don't even like you. I'm just here to drink. I'll be like, Jack, but what the fuck are you doing? Torging a cover at my board. Yeah, it's like, no, this is not an eight dollar special. Nine. Nine.

SPEAKER_06 14:03

No special.

SPEAKER_05 14:05

Eight dollar special.

SPEAKER_03 14:07

He's like, is it's like another kid.

SPEAKER_05 14:09

The $10 special. He'll be taking it out of Z Bird's like fucking Thursday bar bingo money and shit.

SPEAKER_03 14:14

Yeah, there's that $8 special, motherfucker. You're working for free tonight. Oh, I don't see that. I need to bingo money, feed my family. Um you know it's an exciting week when we have incline news. The lawn incline is closed until further notice after two passengers stalled overnight due to a control system issue. PRT, as with with any complex system, that includes both historic infrastructure and modern control components. There is not always a single-term solution. What do you think of the future of the lawn incline will be? They either fix it or they don't. I mean, it's I think they might have us for the opening of it. The grand opening. Like someone so two people were stock on it overnight. For like 90 minutes. The grand opening is gonna be the green tool finished party. They were stuck for 90 minutes? Like, yeah, around like 11 minutes. Ah, they made it seem like they were stuck in the middle. Because there ain't nobody there to get them out at that time. They'd rather have been stuck for 10. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 15:09

That's a late night crew, it's a skeleton crew, it took them a while to get there.

SPEAKER_03 15:13

Yeah, I mean, like, you could always just I mean, if you like just climb out of that thing. There's steps on it, steps like there are in the jackrabbit, the same thing. You can get out of it. It's a steep fucking. If you're an older person, you're gonna climb a ladder. Or okay, like you don't want to fucking.

SPEAKER_05 15:26

I'm a 40-year-old guy walking out. Better get this motherfucker picks. I'm scared of ice. I'm gonna crack another beer.

SPEAKER_03 15:32

It does seem like you don't think of that, and then like till you're sleep, dude. That's walking straight up. I mean, like I've I I used to when I lived in Mount Washington, I used to ride the incline all the time and I would go to the methadone clinic. And like uh I remember like looking out, like you know, it was steeper than I thought one time. I was like, ooh, you know what? Take two doses today. Then call them on one methadone. That would have gave me the he be gibbed. The thing it looked like on the way down after before you're gonna get the way down, I was just like, eh, try to get there. I'll run down this hill. I'll give a fuck how sleep it is. Dude, I'll tell you what, I remember one time I had to get there and like I was smoking crack, and I was like up all night. All of a sudden, dude's like, Man, it's 11 o'clock, you gotta get to the clinic. And I was like, dude, can you ride me? He's like, I don't have a car. I'm like, that's great. I'm like, fuck. So I ran from Greenfield from down the run through Shenley Park, through Squirrel Hill, like over to East Liberty. I was fucking running because I saw my bus pass all the way. I'm making good time. Somehow I was sprinting. I go out there, I'm about to make it. I have time to spare. I'm getting by them train track, all of a sudden I gotta shit my pants. So I had to run up on them train tracks, shit my shit on the train tracks, wipe my ass with a sock. It's freezing fucking cold out, and I still made some afternoon click with two minutes to spare. They like closed the door and I could see it on my phone. I was like, it's 1158. The lady opened it, like, fuck.

SPEAKER_02 16:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:59

I'm like, she was like, did you just shit your pants? No, I didn't know. I just show me your socks. Yes, socks in front of you. Sorry, what are you a millionaire? You get you get two of them. Yeah, socks. What do you yeah? What do you think? My my last name's Musk. I just shit my pants from the train tracks, lady. Let me in. Running here. I'm not sane. Just give me my shit. Yeah. Give me my dose for the my take home for the weekend so I can drink them all right now. Fall asleep on the fucking incline.

SPEAKER_05 17:35

It's a shame they probably they drug test you for the marathon. Sounds like you would have had a shot.

SPEAKER_03 17:39

Yeah. Oh, dude. I wouldn't have.

SPEAKER_02 17:52

Yeah, dude. I'd be like, so close. We get so far away. Like, oh yeah, I gotta get my methadone. Go over to the clinic, dig it.

SPEAKER_03 18:05

Martomania. Uh uh. Pittsburgh. We're already on a Pittsburgh scene. What about the fucking pirates are fucking kicking ass right now, dude? It's like I'm I'm feeling it in the city that people are excited about the pirates again. It's not even June yet. No. No, because then it's over after that. Yeah, they definitely, I think. They're saying like right now they're projecting like you need you're gonna need 86, 88 wins, being a wild card hunt. They are on pace for that. So I mean, we got good pitching, we got a dude coming up. I don't know if he's gonna how soon we get to it, but he's a fucking beast. Seth Hernandez. Um, you know, we got some other dudes on our team that like our like key players aren't like playing great. You know, like like Brian, we were talking about this, like Brian Reynolds and I didn't get it. I haven't watched this West Coast stand. Yeah, they got uh beat up by the Giants a little bit, but it's early. They're excited, they're they're more exciting now than they have. What is it? I think Cruz is about to set a record for possibly the most strikeouts ever in the season. He's crossing cranking fucking dingers. Cranks it or strikes out, yeah. Yeah, he has he's on a pace for like 40 dingers and 250 strikeouts. I'll I'll take it. It's better. Yeah, 40 dingers. That dog can hunt.

SPEAKER_05 19:23

Nobody's telling that story leading with the strikeouts, you know. If he gets 40 dingers, hey, guys. Yeah, that disappeared. What tattoo do you have on your arm, Eric? Kenny? That's an eagle flag. Used to be a steeler tattoo, but then it got older faded. I had to cover it up with a miracle.

SPEAKER_06 19:37

I mean, it's not as cool as Mike's, but it's all right.

SPEAKER_05 19:39

No, but I did have a cool one, like an X, like Mike had the T. Yeah. I had an X, I had to get that covered up too. Why? Because it was an X and I was like triple X big.

SPEAKER_03 19:50

Helicopter try helicopter try to land on that thing.

SPEAKER_05 19:53

Yeah, yeah. Gary Given, he's out there, he's a listener. He stole Indian Inc. from South Tech in high school, was supposed to give me a cross. It was an X for about 25 years. Yeah, he had Indian Inc. He gave it to himself. Gizmo, thanks a lot, bro.

SPEAKER_03 20:06

Yeah, I gave myself the old X or the T, you know what I mean? I had it, but it was definitely more of an X. Yeah, it was supposed to be a cross, dude. He just passed out before he did the top of the cross. I was just poking myself, didn't know what I was doing. I had no artistic talent, and I was drunk. So it was like we were like 14. And I'm holding my arm so it's crooked, you know what I mean? I'm holding so it's like this, but then when I straightened it out, I'm like, oh fuck, right. My fucked up tattoo. Like, no one gave him a fuck it was crooked or not, it still looked like shit. I cut shit for a hundred years. I thought I I had the worst tattoo ever. I was like, oh man, this fucking sucks. It was it was upper. And then this dude, Steve Arkin, got a tattoo. And I wouldn't even call it like Native Americans would not call this a tribal band. They'd be ashamed to call it a tribal band. He got like, I want to say it was like a pen, like the size of a band-aid. It was like a tri-dent maybe a piece of tall band-aid. I would say a pen, like a sharpie, like the mini one. A mini sharpie. That's the thickness, and it went from here to here. It was just a cap of it. It was just like three weeks. It was a piece of tribe. It was like he just tipped his toe in the ball and put some flares off of it. Yeah. And he was like, dude, nice as fucking word. You think he was hard after that? No, he Steve Workers was a great dude. One of the greatest dudes. Still wait.

SPEAKER_05 21:20

But was he happy with it? Or he's like, I hope not. You know what I mean? So he paid for it. Usually it was free and down, I'm assuming on drugs. He paid for his or someone didn't pay job. He paid for it. Yeah, see, he got fucked. You fucked yourself at least. He got fucked.

SPEAKER_03 21:35

But yeah, someone definitely took advantage of him like, yeah, it looks good, dude. Because he showed you to know about going to like good tattoo artists. No one knew. Yeah. Who will tattoo a 15 year old? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 21:45

Yeah, right. Your friend still's in your name from high school, let him stack it.

SPEAKER_03 21:47

Who had the wizard that looked like it was like Davis? But it was like kind of like it was the worst artwork I've ever seen. It was an autistic wizard. Yeah. A hundred percent. Pretty he was just sprinkling the spectrum on everybody. It looked like Dennis Hoffman in a wizard call shooting from Rain Man.

SPEAKER_05 22:03

He was just like, Pretty sure I got my first underage drinking, and we shaved our heads that summer. It wasn't a summer of good decisions.

SPEAKER_03 22:10

Yeah, it happens. They uh I remember there was a place that would tattoo anyone as long as you could go out there, and they were like, As long as you got there, yeah. Our one body got tattoos, his weren't bad. Uh Joey G. He got that leprechaun. I remember I was like, Yeah, Joey G's weren't bad. I was like, this is the best one out of anyone's right now. He had the Shamrock Rosary. Yeah, and then Davis had got the wizard from the same guy, but he kept moving. That had to be it because the wizard's head like kind of like it was like smeared it looked like you were in a matrix. Yeah, we were like, what made you pick wizard out of it? Yeah, I remember like I'm a wizard. Yeah, yeah, I don't know, baby.

SPEAKER_02 22:49

I remember what the fuck made you get a wizard. Anything you can get, you can get like something like that. I don't know, I don't get baby.

SPEAKER_03 23:02

Um Pittsburgh Scanner, East Liberty, 420 North Highland Avenue, Vente's Pizza. Caller is an employee and said a lady just sat down with a bunch of compressed air and has Huff Three straight cans. She didn't order anything, so they want her out. So wait, compressed air. Is it still in a duster? It's on things. Yeah, yeah, because that's still in a parking lot at Home Depot, correct? Okay, you're right. You're right. So she went to Home Depot, got a little bit of that nest. That's not the credit card, fucking just went down, and she was like, This is self-service. Dude, I thought it was a duster, dude. Yeah, you're not gonna be hungry after that. No, the one thing for air. I never tried that. I never tried that. I took what I took one whippet in college. I felt like I lost five billion brains. Did you? I felt stupid. Like went to Telaropa. Like real stupid for about a week. I remember like my head, my head fell. That's the worst drug of the world. You you literally you could do it with the whipped cream thing, too. That's what it was. What was this shit? It was dude. This once uh the case of fucking this hippie dude taught this this out of the while. He talked into it, sprayed this shit in his cloth, and I was like, Yeah, breathed it in. I was like, that's choroform, bro. That even whipped. No, no, that was the that was the duster, like that was the people. It's called head cleaner. Yeah, yeah, it cleans your head. Cleans your head of all brain cells. It's like yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't do all that smess.

SPEAKER_02 24:30

There was younger dudes in Greenfield, and uh they were like the younger generation. I remember like the one day I went and see him, and they were doing that shit. And like, but I think they were doing it with gasoline, and like I just went and like ran into the one kid, and he just had like fucking gasoline all like marked all over his face, and it looked like he was a zombie. I'm like, what the fuck? And they stuck like gasoline.

SPEAKER_03 24:51

Like you spray it in a bag, you do it.

SPEAKER_05 24:53

We killed the fucking we worked at the zoo, me and a Southern Dave. Somehow we got the key to like the ice cream shop. They come out like this whole case of fucking whipped cream is ruined, and I sprays that. We're like, oh yeah, you slam that done, yeah. You slam all the whipped cream done, and you uh you don't get a lot, so you gotta use a couple at a time. Yeah, this whole case is ruined, none, none's coming out of the case.

SPEAKER_03 25:13

I'm telling you, like Telaropa in Oakland, they used to sell you a fucking case of crack, and then they give you the cracker with the balloon, yeah. Right, the cracker wasn't even fun. No, no, it's terrible. It wasn't fun. If it sounded better than it was, yeah. They would and like people would be like, oh, you go to a festival and they sell balloons. And I'm like, I don't get it. Like it's rather smoke a joint, to be honest. Yeah, it's not good. We're doing drugs, yeah. It doesn't grow up, you little kid. What's your half helium dork? Yeah, that dog ain't hunting, Mike.

SPEAKER_05 25:47

Like you said, with this like uh like a BB gun CO2 thing, yeah. He had the cracker, and he wasn't putting a balloon, he was just hitting a cracker. It was cold, caught his lip, ripped his lip open, and said, I'm like, Well, you're supposed to put it in a balloon. I don't fucking know he's like bleeding out of the bigger.

SPEAKER_03 26:02

It like freezes, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 26:04

Like, not it wasn't like a permanent damage, we wouldn't stop bleeding.

SPEAKER_03 26:08

Still fucking hilarious. Like, I don't fucking know use a balloon. I hope he's okay. He wouldn't have saved money on a balloon. Cheap prick. Spend all the money on the fucking whippets and crack. That's like smoking crack uh out of your hand. That's how dumb that it is. I don't want to spend the three hours on a crack pipe, so I'm gonna smoke this out of my hand. There's roses and co-go's. Yeah. I could order a bouquet from from Dell's in Duke. It's that one little rose in the glass bucket. Um Homewood Upland Street. Caller says that people in a fake garbage truck are going around trying to take people's trash. I don't understand. That's like community service. Why would they boost the what's scrap guy or something? Scrap man. Yeah, scrap guy. I think that's probably what they're getting confused with take people's trash. There's probably a guy driving around in a pickup truck with another guy that he's having saying metal there and he metal, and they're smoking crack. Like, dude, we're gonna make so much money off these cans. They notice scrap man and homewood, though.

SPEAKER_05 27:11

The scrap man, they they know the difference. I know the scrap man, you put it on your car, but scrap man, I say I'll say, like, watch scrap man's coming, he knows it's garbage day.

SPEAKER_03 27:18

The shit's gone. They they take the scrap, you put it out for the scrap. Actually, that's his fake garbage trucks. So I'm like, now I'm thinking, like, this is like fake burger king. Yeah, instead of waste management, it says manage waste. The fake Burger King made money. How do you make money for that? What are you doing here? What's the end? That's what I'm saying. I was like, listen, we're gonna start picking up everybody's garbage sooner or later.

SPEAKER_07 27:38

They gotta pay us.

SPEAKER_03 27:39

We'll put a bill in the like you're gonna put a bill in the mail unless you're looking, unless you're like really like stealing stuff and you're pretending like you're doing garbage, right? And you're like looking at it.

SPEAKER_07 27:48

That's probably at least better. Of course.

SPEAKER_03 27:51

Yeah, right. You're getting the track. Mount garbage is probably better than home. Right. Yeah. Not against homewood, but you're gonna get better stuff on Mount Leviticus.

SPEAKER_05 27:59

You could get the Mind Levin and garbage. You could go sell it in homewood, like the couches and shit they put on a car Mont Levin, and people are putting them on the porch at minimum in Homewood, right? I got a few couches for Mont Lebanon myself. Shit.

SPEAKER_03 28:13

Uh, let's open our voicemails.

SPEAKER_05 28:15

You got it. We got three voicemails for you.

SPEAKER_06 28:19

Hey boys, it's Eagle Tits. So I shit a lot. I'd be shitting. They come in all shapes and sizes, and they're all special in their own little way. Well, yesterday was one for the books. I'm talking 10 inches plus, easy, unbroken. The thing curled up around the bowl like a water moccasin. On top of that, first wipe completely clean. Anyway, do you guys have any crazy shitting stories? Did you take a crazy shit? Somewhere crazy. Let me hear.

SPEAKER_03 28:46

I I just told mine. I could talk shit. I could talk shit all day long. No, yeah, I dude. I I do. I I feel like I stand over like a turd like that, like a proud father. Oh, yeah. Like, you feel good about that. Like, you feel like maybe I maybe I my gut ain't so bad. Yeah. Maybe the maker's more display.

SPEAKER_05 29:03

My four-year-old clogged the toilet today. She had a holy moly turd. She clogged the toilet today. Paige. Oh, isn't that the way she the poor girl is scared and she holds it, and then all of a sudden it comes out. Oh. And as we call her, Kenny would go, holy moly. Yeah. It's a holy moly turn. She came out, she got my mom's phone. I was sitting out on the porch with the other two. She came out, she said, Dad, look, she took my mother's phone, took a picture of her turn. She's like, holy moly. Did she horseshoe it? No, it's a fucking big softball. Then Kenny went in. I thought I said, You wipe your bum? Good, great job, Paige. Then Kenny came out and he goes, Dad, toilet's clogged. I tried to fix it. I couldn't.

SPEAKER_03 29:38

And then it's a big floor.

SPEAKER_05 29:40

That's a toilet brush, not a plunger.

SPEAKER_03 29:42

Now you got shit in the bristles. You got shit on the walls. Yeah, it happens. Well, that's good. I'm I'm glad you're a healthy guy.

SPEAKER_05 29:53

I drank six less beers last week and it all stayed together. Yeah, all right.

SPEAKER_00 29:57

Don't blend.

SPEAKER_05 29:58

Alright, voicemail number two.

SPEAKER_00 30:01

What's up, guys? Waterboy here. Uh, so I have an orange tabby cat. He's probably 18 pounds. He's a little on the heavy side. But uh anyways. Fucking that motherfucker attacked me today and fucking punctured my hand in two fucking places. I mean, I threw him across the room after he did it. Onto a couch. He's fine. But uh, yeah, I'm the one person he respects. I'm teach some boys some lessons. Have a good night.

SPEAKER_03 30:36

Apparently not. Apparently he doesn't. Cat scratch feet. Yeah. First of all, I don't respect you because you have a cat. Yeah. Did you try to come on to the cat? Yeah, did you get it? Did you try to fucking catch your cat? You old dolls.

SPEAKER_05 30:50

No means.

SPEAKER_03 30:54

She was walking around here like a whore. He's like, don't you resist me? Yeah, yeah, cat fight. Don't you resist me. I gave her a boocor key. You want to play it rough? Let's play rough. You fucking perhaps. Meow means meow. This dog can hunt. You fucking creep water boy. Waterboy's fucking a cat. Cat fucking motherfucker. Alright.

SPEAKER_05 31:20

Voiceable number three.

SPEAKER_01 31:23

Hey, what's up, boy Gary? From Baldwin. Just want to give you a shot. Hey, uh, the other week kind of pissed me off last or the last episode talking about Gary being a fake. Gary's not a fucking fake, dude. I'm a I am a fucking legit, dude. Just because I'm good looking, it doesn't mean that I'm not a fucking degenerate. I can hang with the fucking best friend. I snort you under the table. 100% guaranteed. Anyways, uh what happens is, you know, I was on three stages growing up. I bought three lunches growing up, you know, from the school. And uh, you know, we lost our house. I I I worked, you know, I worked my way into playing D1 football. Yeah, I did. But guess what? I took my oh so when I was playing football, you know, my I met my wife, she's in pharmacy school. So I locked her up and and so I fucking you know, I fucking trapped her. Mr. Mom, you know, with the kid, and I tried, you know, I couldn't play football anymore. And people can attack, you see my mouth, people are running, kids are running in and out. It's a fucking nuts. But it's fun. All right, super spike.

SPEAKER_03 32:35

What does school do you play? I I want to say acry. Oh, that's right. Yeah, accurate. You just do it, man. I'll only use my left. Stop these trapping and he's dumping and all that. Summerfest. Yeah. Yeah. Gary Pulse. Gary Palooza. Greenfield itself this morning. Dude, shirtless. But he had dreadlocks.

SPEAKER_05 33:02

He was like brrr.

SPEAKER_03 33:06

He's gorgeous.

unknown 33:08

It looks better than me. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:10

No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't. Eagle Tits is like, I mean, you know that shit I took today that was beautiful. Gary's like a right up there. Yeah, he's like top three. Gary, I'm happy to have the fucking uh contest, but dreadlocks. Let me know so I can get Monday and Tuesday off. He don't have that. That's an old picture. I mean, he just sent it to me this morning.

SPEAKER_05 33:31

I don't know what he's saying.

SPEAKER_03 33:32

I've seen him. It's AI. Put that shit on broad. Yeah. I'm telling you, he don't buy breadlock. His wife would never let him do that. Alright, buddy. We'll take a quick march break to be right back with more grateful five podcasts. Coffee ain't working. This is like the podcast got me feeling irree. This week we'd like to thank our sponsor, Alan Construction. Shout out to Alan. If you're a homeowner, you need a new roof, siding, window upgrades. Alan Construction has over 25 years of experience. Call them today at 412-954-8337. Or you can go ahead and visit the website at Allen Construction to schedule your free inspection. Don't wait. Get reliable, durable solutions built to last from a local team you can trust. And no one's on heroin that works there. So that's a plus. SchaeferIng's primary goal is to deliver unbeatable quality for all your construction needs. General contracting, bathrooms, kitchens, whole home remodeling. They got you covered. Call Troy Schaefer at 412-915-1694. And tell them Greenfield's Finance Podcast send you. That's 412-915-1694. Troy Schaefer is a great dude. And only that, he's been sponsoring the podcast literally since the very beginning. He's done work for a lot of people. And I got not a great thing. He's one of the guys that helped me get sober. Not a good thing to say about Troy Schaefer. I'd like to thank our sponsor, Dr. Marco Mborlina Junior, Dentistry, 1108 Windmill Lane, Pittsburgh, PA 15237. Phone number 412-364-2213. They cover all your dentistry needs, have an emergency and need to be seen right away. Call their emergency line at 724-713-7158 at four in the morning and tell them G-Bird sent you. Tell them the Greenfield Finance Podcast sent you. If you're looking to buy, sell, rent in Pittsburgh, Carlson Associates has you covered. Check out CASouthside.com or give them a call at 412-431-1718. They got everything from historic homes to commercial properties plus notary services. That's Carlson and Associates making Pittsburgh Home one deal at a time. Hey, what's going on, everybody? Welcome back, Group Science Podcast. Uh big thanks this week to Norm for upgrading their big dictator on Patreon. Norm was actually at the Call Me Show too. He's a great dude. He's a dude that got truly out of his fake car trouble. The time he had his car legally parked, but it was legally parked. He responded immediately like, dude, why's your boy lying? Yeah. But I said the wrong thing. He tried to, he tried to he's a good dude, man. Norm's a man, man. All right, everybody. It's uh time for corn dick of the week. Rosada, who'd be corn dicking. An Arkansas school principal and teachers were arrested for running a disturbing child fight club through a school and was sentenced to 30 days in jail, house arrest, and years of probation after pleading guilty. Prosecutors say she encouraged students to punch, kick, and choke a 13-year-old boy during a 30-minute attack that was caught on video that reportedly high-five the students afterwards. I think many you want to angle with this. I gotta know the context of this whole story because this sounds like a crack, obviously. Well, I don't know. It sounds like the kids were actually just were they having fun? You know, because 30 days doesn't seem like a long time. Fight club. She ran the fight club. That's what I mean. Did the kid really get because that's fucking terrible if this one kid got beat up and she allowed it and promoted it. But if that was the case, she would have got a lot more than 30 days. Some type of roughhousing. Yeah, was it? I got it. Actually, she's actually like doing a youth camp. She just, you know, regulated it. They were gonna do it anyway. She's like, look, we're not raising pussies here. Yeah, you guys get in a ring, learn how to take a punch, learn how to throw a punch. Yeah, she was like, How much money are you gonna make? She should have been brother in Orange.

unknown 37:35

She made the kid that got BF apologize to all the other kids.

SPEAKER_03 37:38

Yeah, but sorry for being such a pussy. That's oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, this generation is so soft. Yeah, you're telling me she didn't have sex with any, she didn't have sex with the winner. Yeah, she probably blew the winner. Yeah. A hundred percent. Look at that five head. You gotta have something worth fighting for. A Seattle tourist in Hawaii was caught on camera hurling a massive rock at an endangered monk seal. Local man decided to give the tourist a beat down after seeing the video. The local attorney's office will not be filing charges for the altercation. And the center said they don't condone violence, but the man took matters in his own hands. It was seal defense. Educate what might happen when you mess around with our lands and the animals. Fuck around and find out. A seal the deal. Hey, I'll seal you later. Yeah, that's funny. I mean, fuck it. Joe Rocking to steal some fucking tree huggers gonna knock your teeth out. Yeah, come here. Gary, everyone knows Gary Water Boy trying to fuck it.

SPEAKER_05 38:50

Did you know that when it snows?

SPEAKER_03 38:52

Dude, we did go to high school with this dude who was like caught fucking a cat.

unknown 38:57

What?

SPEAKER_03 38:58

Yeah. You gotta explain this. No, we can't. Like water, like water boy just did that cat didn't stuff his penis. I'm not gonna say it was. Yeah, yeah. But he had a lot of things. Yeah, he fucked a cat. I don't know if he got stuck or not. I don't know what happened. I think he couldn't even touch bottom on that cat. I think he got a big thing.

SPEAKER_02 39:18

I think he got like people like older dudes tricked him in. Like they were like influenced him to do it. And then like once he did it, they were like we were just kidding. Yeah, we was like, dude, you didn't really do it.

SPEAKER_03 39:35

What? Everybody's doing it. How to feel? How to feel?

SPEAKER_06 39:38

Alright, brother in arms. Let's kick this thing off.

SPEAKER_05 39:41

No more straight cats in Greenfield. We got our boys from um Beacon Let's Rewind on Thursday. Well, actually, when you're done listening to us today on Thursday, to switch over to Beacon Let's Rewind, and they're covering Top Gun this week.

SPEAKER_03 39:55

Top Gun.

SPEAKER_05 39:55

Classic.

SPEAKER_03 39:56

Great movie.

SPEAKER_05 39:57

People hate on Top Gun.

SPEAKER_03 39:58

And I don't understand like it's Homo erotic. Like, first of all, I don't think there's good looking men in there having playing volleyball. Of course I played volleyball.

SPEAKER_05 40:07

Don't call it Homo erotic because you're jealous the guys can play volleyball, fly airplanes, and bang hawk girls.

SPEAKER_03 40:11

Yeah. Yeah. Well erotic. Yeah. I thought that was Hedo Erotic. Who's your favorite guy on the top gun? Were you an Iceman guy or were you the top guy? I'm a Maverick. Oh see, I always loved Goose, man. Do I have to play the piano? Yeah, I get I still get choked up when Goose dies. Fucked up. I cried in the second one when I died. But Iceman fucking I I loved Iceman. To see him in the second one, like that that got me.

unknown 40:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:38

When he died in the second one. Yeah, well, because you did you because it he died in real life too? Would that have something to do with it? He wasn't dying. Because they wrote that spot for him. But that is because they knew that. I loved all the nostalgia in Maverick, too. Yeah. Cooking back to my childhood. Great great movie. Cobra Cruz Kai was classic fucking television. That was good television. And then you realize how bad of an actor Ralph Macho is. Yeah. Well, you wouldn't have a role there. That's blasphemy. I love Cobra Kai. I love Karni. Ralph Macho. I just think like when he tries to act as a grown-up, it just ain't it ain't.

SPEAKER_05 41:12

The point of Cobra Kai was the corniness of it. That's what made it great. He was doing it on purpose. That's how good of an actor he is.

SPEAKER_03 41:19

I think Johnny was way better than Ralph. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 41:21

Johnny's gonna be the he's doing that. Cobra Kai were every step of the way, they brought in every corniness, every little bit of it that made it the whole thing.

SPEAKER_03 41:29

I like the dude that beat up or that that ran away from Ralph Marchio better than Ralph Macho. The Chinese dude or the Japanese, excuse me, Hokinawan. Who? Oh, the the Joseph. The dude that was um from Karate Kid 2. Yeah, when he when they were doing the little and he he kicked the bridge over and then he fucking ran away like a little bitch, and then he came back to help him. Yeah, he came he came down. He fought to the death.

SPEAKER_04 41:54

Chosen? Chosen.

SPEAKER_03 41:56

He ran away. He was just a man. Yeah, he really did run away at the end. Dude, they brought back five. He ran away because he got he dishonored his family. Bad boy. You fucking hot chick. Chosen, dude. Not bad by not bad by Cobra Chosen. Joe five words.

SPEAKER_05 42:16

My cousin Melissa's like, her husband Steve, he's like, Steve's just sitting here watching Cobra High giggle like a kid. I'm like, would you want me to talk shit on him? I'm doing the exact same thing. Dude, I made my daughter's love.

SPEAKER_03 42:25

My seven-year-old, my eight-year-old daughter, happy birthday, Josie. Josie, happy birthday. We watched something about Mary. Oh there's a few parts when he was jacking off. I was trying to like get her nuts. She's like, What's it what's he doing? I'm like, I don't know. She was like, She was like, was that hair job? I'm like, yeah, I don't know. Yeah. LA looks a woman in Brazil says her life was turned upside down after she refused to give up her pre-selected window seat to a crying child on a flight. And another passenger filmed the confrontation without her consent. Then the video exploited online, leading to a massive backlash, even costing her banking job. Now she's suing both the airline and the person who recorded her saying she had every right to keep the seat she paid for. Turn her upside down. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I agree with her. Well, oh, that's there's some etiquette that goes on a fucking plane, dude. Like, I'll pay for my seat. Leave her alone. Z Bird's take on this is she should start an L fan. Yeah. Yeah. She's right.

SPEAKER_05 43:24

She looked like a T shirt differently. Hey, look, you can have your window seat, you can have a seat right here. Right here's one for you.

SPEAKER_03 43:29

100%. Right now is the time to cash in. Cash in. Right now, you go out your 15 minutes. Yep. Thing use it to show your beaver. I swear I'm yeah, luckily for me, I never that's sound advice, lady. Sound advice. I'm glad I don't I don't travel.

SPEAKER_05 43:48

What would you do, Shirley? You're the world traveler. You giving up your steep for a crime baby? Fuck. Sir, you're poor playing.

SPEAKER_03 43:54

Unless it was heard, it should start hitting on it. Yeah! You want that window seat or you want the mile hot club? We're like, you know, can hook. Listen, on my on my last flight, on my last flight home, I was in like the seat where you have to like uh if there's a you know emergency exit or whatever. And I got this big fat Indian dude sitting next to me, dude. And he's like breathing hard and he's like taking he's in the he's riding a bitch in between you and emergency exit? Yeah, and he's like just breathing hard. I'm like, every once in a while, I'm like, yeah, this dude like is he gonna die here? Yeah, I ain't a doctor. I mean I'm an emergency accident specialist, yeah, obviously. Right, and uh fucking arm rested, and like by the end of the fight, I'm like that with like a triple wild turkey and just started fighting. No, I wasn't, I wasn't. No, I I had poisoned myself enough the weekend before trying to be a normal. Yeah, and this dude was just sucking up all my space, dude. He was breathing all the air and shit. I'm like, Jesus Christ, this guy's killing me. You'd have drank, it'd have made it a little bit better. At least I could have fallen asleep, right? You know, it was turbulent. Kids in the UK are apparently out of sporting their country's online aid verification system by doing things like drawing fake mustaches on their face, or using fake birthdays, or even uploading videos getting characters on Facebook recognition. The recent study found out about one-third of the kids made it to bypass the chat. Nearly half the system are easy to trick. Yeah, I think they're I think they're made to be easy to trick because they don't they want the kids to bypass and they don't give a fuck about the kids. And they probably won't expose the kids to as much bullshit as they can.

SPEAKER_06 45:40

If you're born after a certain date, they don't hear that.

SPEAKER_03 45:42

They're ban basically banning cigarettes all the other days.

SPEAKER_04 45:44

Yeah, if you're even like wait, if you're over a certain date, if you were born at a certain date.

SPEAKER_03 45:49

You were born after whatever year. You can't buy them ever. Ever.

unknown 45:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:53

Which you know what? That's gonna make a black cigarette. It's like prohibition back in the day here. Yeah, we're gonna go to the UK. Start them all. Maybe it'll get better if you're gonna be able to do that. I'm starting a new business, dude. We're gonna see Euros in London. But you gotta think people are already that already happened in some countries.

SPEAKER_02 46:08

And I watched a fucking documentary on that where they were sneaking cigarettes over the they were like, you know what I mean? Like duffel bags full of cigarettes drawing.

SPEAKER_03 46:16

No, they what they were doing was bringing cigarettes from other countries. Like, because you know, like say here's the UK, there's another country right next to it, cigarettes are legal. It was like it was an organized crime thing, like they were like buying. Was it with that that one chick that that blonde chick that does like the the Yes? Yeah, I see. She did the gasoline too. Yeah, yeah. With it, yep. She gets like put in like behind enemy lines, dude. Like she's in with the cartels and shit. Right. They let her buy fucking Jiban. She sees it all. She sees it all. Yeah, she's the plug. Yeah. A Lamborghini parked in a disabled spot, sparked outrage online with people instantly accusing the driver of being entitled and abusing his face. But the backlash stopped cold when the driver revealed he had a prosthetic leg and a valid disability permit. Turning the story into a reminder that the internet loves jumping to conclusions way too fast. The way he's sitting there, I just picture him like rolling out to his car. And I get it. Because you think about this. If you got a license plate on a Lamborghini, you don't want to fucking put a handicap sticker or handicap plate. Yeah, hanging in a mirror. Then why don't you take it through it? Right. So, like, I get this guy. I understand you, bud. Good for you. Yeah. Mind your business. What do you think he bought with the fucking lawsuit when he got the fucking Lambus in Armand of Land? Damn it. Welcome to hell, Eagle Tits. He'll be here.

SPEAKER_05 47:44

Oh beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 47:45

Hey, he'll be here.

SPEAKER_05 47:48

You gotta put that in. Somebody said, repeat.

SPEAKER_03 47:53

Yeah, it was a good one. These class of 2026 students killed it with their senior prank. They cut a full car in half and made it look as though somebody drove into the school. They even laid the bricks over the car. Wow.

SPEAKER_06 48:07

What were some wild senior pranks you witnessed?

SPEAKER_03 48:10

First of all, these kids are rich. If they fucking bought a car and cut it in half. Or order great, no, no, they're future mechanics. That's chop class did that. Yeah, you have kids in shop that did that. Yeah, that's chop class. But you could go to a junkyard realistically with a bunch of kids, you could get a fucking piece of shit, a hundred bucks, you know what I mean, for like a car that doesn't run. We didn't do see senior parents. You guys lit a fucking couch on fire outside the annex. Yeah. On the Tuesday. That's actually cool.

SPEAKER_05 48:37

I got straight A's the third quarter, so I didn't have to go to the fourth quarter. I averaged out for C's, so it was no time for senior parents. We're drinking in the woods. I was done with high school.

SPEAKER_03 48:45

So we'll have story is you didn't have anything to add to the story. All right, everybody, we're gonna take a quick commercial break. You like hot sauce?

SPEAKER_05 49:02

Artie's hot sauce. I mean, I love it. Yeah, yeah. It's delicious.

SPEAKER_03 49:06

Artie's hot sauce is the best. Thanks for bringing that up, Kenny. So you need to try out our sponsor, Artie's Hot Sauce. They have about a dozen sauces available on their website as well as their jarred spicy pickles. Up your hot sauce game and videos, visit artyshot sauce.com, arti s hot sauce.com. Hub in the park. It's over in Swisshelm Park. It's a great place. We've hung out, sorry, we've been here many a time. Yeah, it's over at Swiss Helm Park. Even better. Bomb food. We've done shows over here, great environment. But as far as like neighborhood bars go, I would say it's probably up there as one of the best neighborhood resorts. If you've never been to Pub in a park, you gotta check them out and let them know Greenfoot Finance Podcast center. Keep your car in tip top shape with Monica Car Care, 4103 Kennywood Boulevard, West Mifflin, PA. They handle everything, not just oil changes. They do brakes, exhaust, repairs, tires, tune-ups, batteries, and more. 412-451-8968 and tell them Greenfoot Finance Podcast sent you. Check out our sponsor, Monty Rabner, Rabner and Rabner Law.

SPEAKER_02 50:15

If you're looking for a lawyer for anything, accident, sold some drugs, medical malpractice, fuck top dog, call Monty Rabner.

SPEAKER_03 50:23

Give him a call, 421-765-2500. We want to thank our sponsor, Fat Butcher. If you're looking for premium quality locally sourced meats in Pittsburgh, visit FatButcher at 5151 Butler Street in Lawrenceville, where they meet pet where they offer pasture raised, nose-to-tail cuts, beef, pork, lamb, and chicken. Their knowledgeable staff is ready to help you find the perfect cut to prepare a custom order. Explore their offerings and play stores online at fatbutcher.com. This week again, we want to thank Atlas Pest Solutions. Last week I made a little bit of a fumble on the thing. His dad is not involved in the business. He wanted me to make sure I let everyone know. But they still are providing pest control for residential commercial properties in the Greater Pittsburgh area. It's 2021 with 18 years of experience, not 118, and are fully licensed and insured. Call them at 412-414-2948. That's 414-2948 Atlas Pest Solutions. Come Greenfolk's Finance Podcast sent you. They did an amazing job getting rid of some critters at my neighbor's house. I'm telling you what, when it comes to pests, they are the best. Hey, what's going on, everybody? Well, my Greenfield's Finance Podcast. We're about to jump in what's growing in our gears. Kenny, what's growing in them gears?

SPEAKER_05 51:48

I got uh right down here on Butler Street, I was picking the kids up the other day, and they have the crosswalks that aren't at the end of the block. They're in the middle of the block. Okay. So there's a line of traffic's going both ways, but traffic's moving slowly. Like about 10 miles an hour, you know, but you're going. So this dude comes out. He's not like, okay, the crosswalk's there, but I I gotta slam on my brakes so I don't hit you. You gotta wait for me to fucking go, dude. It ain't like I'm supposed to stop for you. If you're walking, I'll stop for you. But if I gotta hit my brakes and jerk the car to not hit you, you're in a fucking way. You gotta wait for me to go. It's my turn to fucking go. You know, it ain't even one of the ones that's like yield of pedestrians. I know you're supposed to. Then this motherfucker looked at me like I'm the asshole. I said, dude, I just slam on my brakes to not hit you. You do the fucking crosswalk. You're responsible to do it.

SPEAKER_03 52:41

You you don't give you a right to walk into traffic, motherfucker. Did you ever drive across that little pedestrian bump by the uh cathedral learning and you know, whatever that fucking?

SPEAKER_05 52:50

Well, this is one too, where I gotta deal with this all day, but I've been paid to deal with it. These make these assholes all day. I'm in my own vehicle. So I'm granted my shorts, my fuse is a little shorter than what these fuckers done here. But it's like, dude. Sometimes people don't even look, they don't just look at your phone and they don't even look, they just walk. This motherfucker made eye contact with me. That's the problem. He's looking at me. I'm going, then he walked right in front of me, and I'm in the wrong if I hit a fucking guy. Yeah, you know? So I see motherfuckers later. You know, fuck you. And he's like, crosswalks in the middle of the film you're going to the end of the block, you then see prick.

SPEAKER_03 53:26

Yeah, it's it's torture. You know, like you can walk across the street, but you gotta at least look out for yourself.

SPEAKER_05 53:33

You can't just dude, your crosswalks there, but like I said, if I was 10 feet back and you're in front of me already, yeah. But we're here in here, so I had to slam on my brakes to not hit you. It's your fault. What the fuck do you think? You don't get the right away that way, dude.

SPEAKER_03 53:48

People who get bored like that, then they get hit by a car.

SPEAKER_05 53:50

Yeah, that's why you should be allowed to hit two, three people a week. You know, squat free. Then they wouldn't walk in front like that. You wouldn't have to hit too many people before they learn. Don't get me started on the biker's knot at summer's coming.

SPEAKER_03 54:03

Shows. I I got I got no gear grind. It's been a month. Jeez, come on. Tell them about the cavorka. Come and try to hang out with your friends and I'll just bully you and talk about how you're a bad person. Come on. This is unacceptable. Yeah, you it's been a month. Coming to hang out with you guys. That's what you're doing.

SPEAKER_05 54:26

That makes us feel real good. Your gear grinder is forced to hang out with your boys. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:32

People in Ethiopia right now would love to. Rosa, you're treating them too good. Life's too good. That's it. Rose has been too good to me. I can't go on. Dude, I got uh I go it's like the the opposite of a gear grinder. So um it's not a gear grinder. It's a pepper grinder. No, it's a these kids across the street from our house. They like Addie got these like little dollar solar lights, and the kids broke them. Broke one or two of them. Literally came right over, like fucking clean, yeah, told us, cleaned them up, and then like, oh, it's no big deal. You know, like it's no big deal. And she was kind of like, I'm like, you gotta like encourage be upset but forgiving. No, you don't get upset. Like, if they're coming up to you, admitting they broke them, they didn't have to do any of that shit. They could pretend they didn't do it, they pretend they didn't do it, encourage them like, hey, that was the right thing to do. You know what I mean? I know it's sometimes it seems like that's what they're supposed to do. No, kids, you like I don't know. Yeah, you fucking tell them, like, hey, you that was the right thing to do. And like she got mad because I went like I was like, I got them pizza. I was like, hey, yeah, because their mom brought over fucking um two lights, went to the store and got oh, she replaced them. That's good, that's a good move. I got I got I went and got them pizza. She said, Why would you get them? You know, and I was like, listen, when you do something like that for them kids, them kids will never fucking forget that. And if they do fuck something up, they'll come over and tell you they're not they're not gonna other people would be egging your house on Devil's Night. I don't know that's good. I don't, and the thing is, I don't want the kids to not play where they're playing. Yeah, they're playing on the street, it's right in the middle, but like there's nowhere else for them to fucking play. You know, I mean they they can play in the in the yard sometimes, but like I don't have a problem with them throwing football on that side of the street where there's no cars, right? Because they specifically go out of the way of everybody and catch them, it's almost like a little alleyway where there's no cars. You know, if the only thing they break is them lights, I don't just like sometimes you gotta like reward the kids for a little positive reinforcement, never kill nobody. That's good on the end. Yeah, you should have put them a brother in order. What kind of pizza you get on? It was right up the the uh bishop, yeah. Not bad. Not bad. I've heard a piece of it. No, all right. My gear grinder is all right. So like uh I accidentally butt out somebody, but it rang like five or six times. And uh that dude never even checked back. You know what I mean? I didn't want to call him Uncle Frank. You could at least check back, and I'm like, I called you on accident. You know what I mean? Yeah, what if I needed something? Right, you know what I mean? Am I petty? You know, no, that that hurts. It wasn't like a one ringer, it was like five or six. I mean, I was calling this other, I bet to call this other guy Frank.

SPEAKER_06 57:13

Yeah, and it's called Uncle Frank for some reason.

SPEAKER_03 57:16

You know, I'm sitting on the horn, I'm like, ain't answering it. One time I called him, he's like, Anthony, tell me you're not getting arrested. I'm like, I'm not, it's completely different. I think I met Uncle Frank. Was that the one I met up at Lot 17? I sent you the picture of it. Probably, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's his own phone calls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Used to be my favorite. Even though I didn't mean to call you, you didn't know that. Yeah, I'll tell you what, dude, that's a thing in society now. We used to stay with young people, it's starting to get into uh people our age. Like, people just will not talk on the fucking phone. They're scared to death when that phone rings. Like, like you're calling the calls me after like unless it's like someone I'm close to, after like 7 30, bro. Um Zebart called me. I knew he was calling me to show up for sure. I knew he was calling me because I wasn't there, but I answered him and the opposite I can't make it, but yeah, it was like the thing that was hurtful. Yeah, it was like Kenny not coming. That was my gear grinder because like Kenny was like I couldn't find a babysitter. And I'm like, You've had these kids for years. You knew you're four, they're old enough to stay on alone. Right, but you for four years you knew you you needed a babysitter. Hey, who was at your birthday show, Z Burn, huh? You know if I could make it if I was making it, I was gonna fucking beat her, all right? Kenny called me 17 times. You cut or texted me, you come in to come and yeah, I'm gonna beat her, I'm gonna beat her. Now you know how it feels, huh? Son of a bitch. Wow.

SPEAKER_05 58:32

Can I go again? Uh grinder. Duncan grinder, man. Duncan grinder, compliment gear grinder.

SPEAKER_03 58:38

Johnny had half a gear grinder, a little sensitive Johnny over here.

SPEAKER_06 58:40

His uncle didn't call him back.

SPEAKER_03 58:42

What the fuck happened to gear grinders? I used to know. That's a gear grinder. Everybody, everybody, yeah. Yours is the gift, Johnny. You know, just everybody. It makes you sound a little sensitive. Everybody ground down right now. Ground round.

SPEAKER_05 58:54

Everyone's all happy it's summer now. We need the winter gear grinders.

SPEAKER_03 58:56

We're supposed to be sensitive on gear grinders. They all gonna be rational. You're trying to run over a fucking pedestrian in a crosswalk. Johnny, Johnny, at least you can't. At least you had one. At least you had one.

SPEAKER_05 59:06

Julie's life's so good now. Z Bird's surrounded by great lines.

SPEAKER_03 59:09

Julie gets tight on the gear grinders, dude. He always did. I don't know why. Because, dude, talk about the guy with the leash on the dog leash with the fucking um. You know what I hate when people have a leash on their belt. Yeah, there you go. That's honestly, that's my forever gear grinder, dude. If I see you walking with a dog on a belt leash, I'll punch you. I'll hit you and your dog with my bus.

SPEAKER_05 59:27

Don't do it in the middle of the crosswalk in the block.

SPEAKER_03 59:30

Yeah. Or break no tear your fucking shoulder lights, you son of a bitch. Yeah, all right. Keep in conversation. Text Uncle Frank, no. If you did a show, you text Uncle Frank or I'm I'm asking you on social media.

SPEAKER_06 59:48

It's upboard right now.

SPEAKER_03 59:49

Why don't you call me back, Uncle Frank? All right, everybody. We're gonna take a quick commercial break. We'll be right back to grab up Greenfield's Finance Podcast. Thank our sponsor, Rosaldo and Sons Landscaping, all your landscaping needs. Contact them at 412-521-9045. That includes pressure washing and chemical lawn care maintenance.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:08

Need help with roofing, siding, gutters, downspouts, or sofa and phasia? You should talk to SNL or modeling LLC. 412-628-9717. 412-628-9717. And tell them GFP sent you. Are your steps and sidewalks starting to crack? Do you miss it when they actually look nice and clean? Call Giuseppe and Sons. They handle repairs and replacements. 412-421-6711.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:33

Uh, this week we'd like to thank our sponsor, Capuzzudo's Pizza, and 422-Greenfield Avenue. They've been supporting our show since the very beginning. They have some of the best pizza. In Pittsburgh, you can give them a call. 412-5216-570. You can also Google Capazudo's Pizza and check out their menu pizza.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:50

WrestleMania.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:51

Oh, yeah. Speaking of WrestleMania, I'm gonna tell you something right now. How is your retaining wall looking outside? I looked at your wall the other day and looked weak. Weak just like your frame. And I'll snap your neck in the ass. Yeah, brother. Go get that retainable, go back up right now. I'm in there, and then I run up with your old ladies, got you. Yeah. It's a man with a weak retainable can protect him, his family, or his old ladies' crease. So if you need new retainable, they're called just walls for 412-889-4401. Oh yeah, tell him the nacho man Andy Savage sent you.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:38

Hey, what's going on, everybody? One more green fly is a podcast. Don't forget, tonight, Thursday, be here at Butler Street Derby, 8 o'clock. It's nice out. Bingo's going, 8 to 10, great prizes, drink specials, food specials. Let's get it cracking. Alright, everybody, we're about to jump into what with Greenfield do. What would Greenfield do? Whoop whoop. Do you do you make these up? Uh I don't mean it already. It's always about shitting. Would you rather be able to eat while you run or only be able to shit while your pants run? Doesn't make any sense. Say that again. Fucking stupid.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:11

You can only eat when you're running, or you can only shit with your pants on. So you have to shit your pants all the time.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:16

Or eat when you run. I guess I'll shit my pants and change. I mean it's like that.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:21

I enjoy eating too much to like have to run when I do it. I mean, I'm like a light jog, I'll eat. I can't shit on it. Is that a light jog? No, I can do that. Yeah, I'm sorry. Right. Right. Am I wearing sweats? I'm drinking price. I suppose it'd be healthier to eat when you're running. Yeah, like I'll drink, I'll just drink more like shakes and shit like that. Like, I just don't want to shit. Insures. Yeah, we don't have to shit her pants running. Everybody gets one a year.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:46

Larry loves shitting pants like.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:48

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:52

Seven times a day? Dude, you gotta see a physician. Dr. Dave, call the show. IBS or something? You got colitis?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:59

I don't know. Sometimes I'm gonna go ahead and do it. That's a lot of morning. I should have a cup of time. That's I mean, it's not bad. It's actually good. It's a lot. Yeah, you might go pancreas, but you are blowing your britches out, dude. I'm not a doctor, but you got spot holes in place.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:16

It might be a thing.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:19

Oh, your front. You got premature. First times for the bulk, the second times for the remainder. You got you got premature poopulation. Yeah. Two is cool, but any more than two is a lot. You're spackling. You're bridging. You spack. You open your fridge and have all the ingredients you need to make your favorite sandwich. What are you making? Stock on cold cuts. Like uh sandwich you make for yourself. Oh, dude, you gotta put a little soft Genoa, a little bit of fucking like uh a little mortetella, maybe, a little piece of cheese. You don't like mortatella, dude? It's like fucking Italian bologna. No, I don't. It's like it's like Italian, what is it? Ain't it like bologna almost? It's donkey meat. Yeah, it's disgusting. Donkey meat? No, that's what they say. It's like bologna, ain't it? Yeah, it's like Italian bologna. It's delicious. That shit's gross, I think. I like give me uh that super soda and provolone. That's it. And like on like uh that croissant bread. That's fucking. Let me tell you how you gotta go ciabatta, salami, mortatella, some kind of that's a fire sandwich. But here's how Americanized Dago I am. I love a turkey on a bagel. A turkey, I'll make myself a bagel. Yeah, you're from Squirrel Hill. I guess turkey with cheese, it was like give me a shaggel mayonnaise on a plate on a bagel. Did you ever say, give me a shmagel? Instead of using mayo, did you ever try using the onion and chive cream cheese? It's so fucking good on a turkey sandwich. It's not very good. Or garden vegetable cream cheese. It's so good. What's yours, Kenny? Not a cream cheese.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:56

I don't even want to say because you guys are very fancy. I'm I'm very simple.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:00

He's like, give me a fried button sandwich. You say chip top ham, I'm not talking to you.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:05

No, you know, I was gonna say that just to piss you guys off because I can't barbecue. We had this conversation. No, honestly, give me salami, provolone, lettuce, mayonnaise, uh onion.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:16

I I I'm not a provolone. I like provolone if it's melted or mozzarella, whatever. See, I like taste better than that. We're talking cold cuts though. But you can melt the cheese if you'd like. We're toasting them now. Well, no one's saying. I do love a chipped ham too. I'm a sweet harvest weak right now. Summer's coming up with fresh tomato, fresh tomato on a chipped ham. Oh, I take a tomato. I'm a tomato guy these days on a sandwich.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:38

Well, especially summer's coming up. I just tilled the garden, so I got that in the brain.

unknown 1:05:42

Did you guys grow up on tomato sandwich?

SPEAKER_03 1:05:43

No, no, my daddy said my my dad, my wife. Well, but they'll put like tomato butter on a piece of bread with salt and just eat it. Like you're disgusting.

unknown 1:05:53

I eat like an apple.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:54

I put a little salt on it.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:55

Yeah, the garden tomatoes, the fresh ones from the from the summer garden tomatoes. I used to make

SPEAKER_03 1:06:00

That with just melted cheese and uh like basil, uh whatever the spices, tomato, a little mortadella, a little more to delay with tomatoes, I'm an Americanized egg. I like the one with the almonds in it, too. That's even crazier. You got like uh cashew or whatever the fuck. They gotta put a nut in there to soak up all the time. Oh, it's not delicious. I'm just simple man. Would you rather eat rotten kangaroo meat or perfectly cooked human meat? I'll take the perfectly cooked human meat. Yeah, I'll eat canny old. You only gotta do it one time. Dude, as hangry, I was thinking about this the other day. It was a random thought.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:36

As hangry as I get, if I was like in a fucked situation, I'd heard cannibal probably before anybody. Well, you gotta do, you gotta survive, right?

SPEAKER_05 1:06:44

Yeah, but I always do it forever, yeah. Survive, you know, survive like the mountain situations.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:49

What's that movie?

SPEAKER_07 1:06:50

Uh Alive.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:52

You gotta do it, right? It's like, what's that movie where they we're alive on a mine? We're gonna stay alive. Well, you said survive, but I'll take a Kenny Corpaccio any day.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:02

Hey, I die, you guys ain't gonna give me a survive, you have my permission.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:05

Did you shave your legs?

SPEAKER_05 1:07:06

No, dude, it's wearing pants all fucking time. Oh, they're already prepped. Yeah. I feel like all the old dudes you see. Like, no, I'm fucking the old guy with no hair on his legs.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:15

You're gonna have a you look like fucking Ryan Shazir, dude. He's like, I look like every guy just looks like a little, I know I gotta get a little more tanned to look like Ryan Shazir, when I yeah, I'm like, every guy at the bathhouse has your hair legs. Everybody knows that. And you're still hair on my knees. You got a big bush. Yeah, own shave my goose. You got a hairy chest and a bush, you know, hair anywhere else. You all have me from my chest here or to my fucking um. Yeah, this dog could still be after the wiener. All right, everybody, thank you so much for tuning in. Have a great week. We'll see you guys at Bingo this Thursday. And remember, folks, grateful loves you. We're out.