The Lego version of you

What happens when the internet decides who you are after 1 minute and 49 seconds?

In this episode, I share the strange dream, uncomfortable mirror, and unexpected insights that came from stepping into greater visibility … and realizing that many people are interacting with a Lego version of you. 😅

What you'll receive inside the episode:

•  What happens inside your psyche when the internet suddenly decides who you are after a nearly two-minute clip.
• The uncomfortable moment when someone says “you lack discernment”… and what that confrontation revealed about visibility, fear, and authenticity.
• A strange dream involving drool … Legos … and famous people that turned into a fabulous metaphor for life online. (Thanks, subconch! That's short for subconscious.)
• Why the internet often interacts with “Lego versions” of people instead of real human beings.
• The hidden psychological shift that happens when you stop trying to control how people interpret you.
• A message from a listener that reframed doubt in a way that completely changed how I look at criticism. 😭
• The quote about doubt that stopped me mid-audiobook and made me rethink how attention actually shapes reality.
• A powerful idea from The Law of Attention that asks a confronting question: Where is your life force actually going?
• A simple practice that reveals how many thoughts aren’t actually “you”.
• A playful mental exercise that helps you separate awareness from the endless stream of thoughts.
• Why learning to let people misperceive you might be one of the most liberating parts of being visible.
• The deeper invitation of this episode: How to stay sovereign while exploring strange, expansive, or uncomfortable ideas.

Resources:

• The Law of Attention by RJ Spina*
• Justice Molly on TikTok

*I receive a teeny tiny commission on books I recommend. Know that anything I make typically goes back into buying more books. 🤣

Transcript

Ashley Mondor: 

Hello, hello! This one is actually gonna be a short one, unlike the one that I said last week, but last week was a biggie. Okay. It was about a woman that I came across. Her name is Justice Molly, if you listen to that. Thank you so much. I have never had this much interest in a podcast episode. You guys like.

You exploded it in growth for me, and thank you so much. I just, I'm so shocked at, at the people that I'm getting to connect with and calibrate to. That's like everything to me. Oh my God, it's so fun. I'm like, oh my God. These people, they understand me and my, like, my weirdness and my obsessions and my curiosities like, good God.

Also a really cool thing happened. Okay. Ever since I started TikTok, there was one thing I really wanted and, and you're going to hear it and don't judge it. 'cause there's a reason I really, really, really, really wanted 10,000 followers. Not because it means anything about me, not because I'm like, yay, 10,000 eyeballs at bibly balls are on me.

It's because when you reach 10,000 followers, 10,000 friends. You can start creating playlists for your videos. Ah, I have a Virgo Moon. I love organization. I think in organization, the fact that I can put things into playlist now so that people have an easier time understanding like certain topics or threads wholly.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh, it's bringing me so much joy. So I created my very first playlist and it says, aliens. So you enjoy that because they're about dreams where I've met aliens, or my partner has, even though he doesn't, he doesn't care about aliens nor does he know about them. So, so that's fun. Okay.

That's, that's there. Um, another thing that's really interesting is what's so cool. Having, having you here means you care about depth, you know, and it was really interesting with that TikTok video where I, where I shared about her and then invited people to come listen to my podcast because of the comments I got.

Overwhelming, overwhelming positive responses and things like, oh my God, I love her. I feel so seen. Oh, I finally understand what I'm walking through. I feel more powerful. I had something like, what you had happened or something different and it's so weird or what, like it's so cool, you know? And then I had other people tell me that I clearly lack discernment and that I'm in psychosis or I'm on drugs and that they'll have what I'm having.

And they were just basing that on a minute. In 49 second clip, and I'm, I'm gonna be honest with you and say the first few times it came through, it really hurt my heart because I was like, how can you say that I lack discernment when you looked at an under two minute clip and made a snap judgment about me and my character and my ability to discern, right?

And I was like, ah, but. Why would I expect anyone to think like me? Because I, with Justice Molly specifically sat in her field. I watched her videos. I saw what moved her. I saw things that I don't agree with at all, and I can still love her. I can still appreciate what she's bringing. And I think one of the things that really drove her home for me is.

People are like super suspicious saying like, how did she growl so fast? She's everywhere. She's paying for followers, she's doing all this. And I'm like, if you were in her field, you would see that she has a tip jar and she's trying to have, you know, raise money that way so she doesn't have to work like a nine to five.

Job so she can keep, you know, creating content because it brings her a lot of joy and purpose. And I just, people are so funny. Um, and again, like I don't agree with everything she says, but I can still love her, you know? And, and that's, that's the nature of. Sitting and asking questions and being open-minded and allowing people to have nuance and depth and layers and to, you know, present things that maybe you disagree with or aren't palatable, but they still like, feel like speaking truth to it, and I think that's important.

I think one of the things that Molly has shown for me is what it means to be authentic and to take up space and to speak your truth, even if it rattles. It rattles cages and ruffles feathers. Hopefully no one's caged okay, even though I know that many women and children are, but we're, but we're working on that as a collective, and so I learned so much, but walking through that process of, for the first time in my life.

I was in proximity to someone where I was like, oh my God, these people think that I lack discernment. And then I took it deeper and I was like, oh, no, what does this mean about me? You know, like, what if, what if me being in proximity to her? What if it's on shaky ground and IF. It felt like I had to start protecting myself from people, and then I realized it's like, what am I protecting myself from?

I know who I am and I know that the people who get me are probably the ones like you who are listening. Even if you don't fully agree with what I'm saying, even if you think I'm crazy, even if you think whatever, X, Y, z, about me, you're still here and it's because you're curious and you're open, and I think that that's what matters.

I, I got to meet so many new hearts. Because of Molly, because she's so authentic. And it was cool watching her also express because she says wild things, wild, wild things that if you are new to the conspiracy world, which I am not, um, it's like, oh, what are you talking about? But she does it in a way where it's true for her and she speaks it as fact and.

I just really appreciate that because she isn't perfect. No one is perfect. And it's cool to watch someone stand in their truth even if people are like, that makes no sense. Or what do you actually mean? Right. That's, that's okay. Cool. And people who appreciate nuance are the ones I wanna have conversations with.

You know, not the people who are out here saying like, how did I get on crazy TikTok? And I'm like, how? How did you get here? Also, I, I don't know. I'm not in your phone. I'm not the one like, you know, engaging on content that I disagree with, which is, you know, one of the ways that you can build your algorithm is by engaging with the content, but to be called and to say, I lack discernment, it hits something in me.

And it was interesting because the night of when we had that March 3rd. Lunar eclipse. I knew, oh, I knew that the energies were gonna be pretty big and so big that I maybe got an hour of sleep, which was fun for no one, mainly me. You walk through the world like a zombie and having brain fog and feeling a little nauseous, and it's like, I just, why can't I even sleep?

I just wanna sleep. But I had so much energy running through my body, it was like electric. So. I had that happen, and then I had, last night, I barely slept again and I'm like, what? God in heaven. I just. I can't stand listening to Nikolai snore blissfully while I'm like listening to him, and I couldn't find my earplugs even worse.

So I'm sitting there with all this energy and I'm burning up like I'm getting so hot and my muscles are spasming or whatever, even though I'm hydrated and, and I take magnesium and stuff, and this doesn't happen every night. And now I don't have my earbuds or my earplug. My earbuds, my earplugs, what am I gonna do?

So I just sat there and listened to him and was like, okay, well aren't you just so lucky? But I got about like two hours of sleep, I think, and I had a dream. I had a dream where. I woke up in this dream next to Nikolai. Look at Dream. Nikolai is so lucky. Okay. Ugh. But I woke up next to him and I had this like, so much drool and I thought, what?

Why am I drooling so much? And as I was drooling profusely, uh, my saliva turned into this like thick white substance. And so I started trying to pull it out of my throat and something super strange came with it, so I pulled it out and what popped out a tiny Lego head, what? And so the more I pulled, the more tiny Legos appeared like actual little Lego people.

And I knew that they represented famous people, but I couldn't tell exactly who. And so it was just really weird to me, and I realized that. It's because of this experience with growing invisibility in this way on TikTok and being open to people's interpretations and misperceptions and their projections and their judgments, and also their celebrations.

You know, and it's just so interesting that a minute and 49 second clip can make. Can position someone where it's like, oh, I already have the whole story about them. I know exactly who they are. They're not for me, you know? And it's like, what? And not even two minutes, you know? And I realize that. Part of this dream, my unconscious was processing an old fear that it's not really safe to be seen or to explore ideas publicly and really being in proximity to people.

It's like, well, that's how they decide who you are. You don't get to be your own person when you are linked with other people. They're just snap judgements and so. I also felt like the Legos, well, what are they? They're simplified little characters, right? They look like people and they're just like tiny constructed versions of them.

And so it felt like a really great metaphor, you know, where online we're often interacting with Lego versions of people. Simplified identities built from fragments or clips or opinions and assumptions. And you know what? My throat was full of them. My throat was full of Legos. Okay. And I think it was like me processing all of this information and these interactions with people in this level of visibility, but also, you know, like public figures and people's identities and being associated with them.

So I just found it to be really interesting, um, because, you know. Some people will always interact with the Lego version of you instead of the real human being with all of your depth and your, you know, intricacies and your stories and your beliefs and who you are in your heart. And that's okay because I learned that people will find me who are meant for me and they're going to want to expand with me if it's for a moment or for a longer journey.

And that's amazing, you know? And there are also people who come across. Me that maybe I trigger because I'm meant to. And I think that that's part of the authenticity key too, is that the more you, you are the, the more light you hold in yourself, the more truth that you carry in your being and you stand in it.

You will inherently rock the boat for people and. It's okay that you do that. It's part of why you're here and you're not going to be liked and loved by everyone. Even though, you know, like the little girl version of me would love that. I just, I'm like, I just wanna love everyone. Why can't they love me?

And the adult version of me is like, 'cause not everyone is ready for this level, this depth, this weirdness, this mystical stuff, you know? If people can only again, interact with a Lego version of you and they make snap judgements, those are not your people, but, and also all of those people who said I was in psychosis or crazy or delusional, or that I needed to find God or they were gonna pray for my soul or whatever, they boosted my algorithm.

They helped me meet new people because they were like, TikTok, I don't like this. I'm gonna let you know. And I'm like, oh, ouch. But thank you. I guess it could be worse, I don't know. And people are gonna make things up about you and they're gonna make judgements about you and they're gonna project things onto you and it doesn't mean that they're true.

It means that Earth is the great Hall of mirrors and it's 4 44 here and that is sexy. It is okay that people misperceive you. And I tell you that because I am working through that now and it's always been a deep-seated fear in me and why I, like, I spent so much of my time and my life like. Trying to frame things up in a way where it's like, okay, just tiptoe.

Just drop this information here just a little bit. Like, I'm not crazy. I'm a sane person. I'm not in psychosis. I'm grounded. I'm up. Make sure that you know that I am just like, just bringing this up, curiously, because I need to protect myself from people because if you think some type of way about me and it isn't true, it's gonna hurt my feelings.

Or, you know, what if I'm outcasted? What if I don't get to receive love? What if it's not safe to be me? Right. Unconscious things. So. Oh man. I'm so glad that I posted that casual video on a Friday and it wasn't perfect. And also that people thought I said edible codes, which is amazing to me. First because someone thought that.

I literally meant edible codes and that, that was one of the reasons why I was clearly in psychosis. But I was like, no, it's Mercury retrograde, and my words come out weird. And I just, I tried, I I don't see you out here trying. Oh, but such is life. Um, I also wanna say I got, um. Just such an amazing message that really hit home for me.

This, this person with a wonderful blue profile photo. She said, oh my God, I just listened to a glitch in the simulation and so much, if not all of what you went over are things that I've either experienced said or wondered. This was intensely validating and I appreciate you for putting this out there so much to reflect on.

Also, it was 5 55 today on the. Fifth, as I listened to your podcast and you had just finished saying, um, at 3 33. Anyway, I digress. I just wanna say thank you and also was called to remind you, and this is why I'm sharing it. When it comes to the doubt of the validity of Molly's abilities, experiences, or stories, doubt is rooted in fear, and fear is temporary.

Regret is forever. You are doing the work that you are meant to do. Whether she turns out to be real or not, ultimately doesn't matter. You've still gained what you were meant to gain from and for your journey in order to continue your work on this plane. You are absolutely amazing. Keep shining like the beacon you are, and I, oh, if you hear scratching, it's because also we have a kitty litter box in here and that's like a weird thing to say out loud, but it's the truth of what it is.

So. Sorry, but. Her message, she's so right. Um, doubt is rooted in fear, and fear is temporary. Regret is forever. And I did absolutely get what I was meant to. And it just felt so, like, this is the caliber of, of people that I've called in, people who can read nuance and people who can deal with ambiguity and uncertainty and they can be stretched and also know exactly who they are and what they believe in.

Right? Like, I like that is everything to me because it's saying like. I can tiptoe in these waters with you, and I'm still good. I'm still sovereign. I'm still me. Like me being here doesn't take anything away from me. I get to explore this with you, and if I disagree with you, you're still a worthwhile and worthy human.

You know, I, oh, like that's the best. But also when she talked about doubt. There. Um, I said, I'm like 70 times so far, I apologize. I've been working on trying to slow down a little bit, so I stopped filling it with filler wor filling it with filler words. Filling it with filler words. Okay. I'm tired, God. Oh, I'm gonna publish this too.

Okay. I. Was, oh, someone on my TikTok about justice. Molly had shared that there was this book about mastering the Game of Life. And I was like, oh, that's so cool. I'm gonna look into that. And so I did, and I actually came across a book that I really have wanted to read for a while, but I forgot that it was, it was out there and published.

So you may or may not have heard of RJ Spina and he. Had a, an accident where he wasn't allowed to walk or he wasn't allowed, he wasn't able to walk and he had other issues with his health, like debilitating horrifically painful issues with his health. And the doctors were like, you're never gonna walk again.

Like, we're gonna get you a wheelchair. You're gonna learn how to do this. And he was like, oh no. On the hundredth day I will walk. Because part of his accident is he had a near death experience and he claims that he has. Had incarnations as Francis Bacon, William Shakespeare, um, oh, who's the other one? Oh, wait, I'm thinking I'm noodling.

Um, mom, mom. Dang it. Dang it. You, you have heard of him. Um, oh, what's, dang, sorry. I'm so tired. It's. Oh, Saint Germaine. Yep. Okay. Incarnations and Saint Germaine. And you know, anyone can say things like that. They can, and also if that's true for him, it's true for him. Okay. But on that, on the hundredth day, he walked.

And so he has a book called Supercharge Your Health, where he talks about your belief systems and your indomitable will. And you know, being able to have experiences like that because he literally got himself to walk again, even though the doctor said there would be no way because something happened to his spine.

So he has four books now total, and the recent one is called The Law of Attention. And so I came across it and. Obviously snapped it up and then immediately started listening to it just because if anything, I love listening to audio books where the writer is also the speaker and he has very interesting ideas, and when he shares them, he shares them from a place of like total, complete certainty.

And the reason why I'm bringing this up is because there was a quote he said about doubt that really moved me. He said, every time you doubt, you create a parallel reality born of that disempowered expectation, which then must be filled by your energy. It consumes your life force until none remains for your triumph and victory.

And. A lot of his book right now, at least for where I'm at, is talking about how your energy is basically being harvested or your energy and attention. Mainly, your attention is being harvested by parasitic entities or vampires like as another. Frame or whatever. And when you think about the way that we have set up our world right now, people's attentions are so fractured on purpose, right?

Because if you actually were fully in your awareness, your attention, and you were moving from that place of like total grounded knowing. As source embodied you would create in like incredible things. And yet people are still doing that, right? They're, they're able to manifest, you know, wealth, health, happiness, joy, love, all of these things, even though their attention is fractured.

But this part about the doubt and creating a parallel reality born of that disempowered expectation, which then must be filled by your energy, is just so fascinating. And he also, there's another quote that I wanted to. I have two, I have three more quotes. To be fair, I hope I'm allowed to do this. I just know that if, if anything, maybe one quote will land in you and or, and, or it's something for you that you feel called to contemplate, you know, and like maybe start pulling the threads on.

But he shared first quote. A master only thinks about what it intends to manifest, meaning you are not out here thinking about, oh, can, can I actually do that? Should I do that? Like, oh, like, oh me, I wavered so long in having a podcast because I thought that my voice was annoying. I thought people wouldn't wanna listen to me.

I thought that I'd be too all over the place. I thought that the topics I'd talk about were too weird and may ostracize me from ever getting a job if I ever needed it again, you know, all these things. A master only thinks about what it intends to manifest. Right? When he was going through the process of healing himself, it was only 100% focused on he will walk, he will have vibrant health, period.

Even when doctors tried to tell him anything different, he absolutely would not allow it. Another quote, he said, you cannot fulfill your divine destiny and infinite potential as an immortal creator, or, oh. My, my autocorrect changed. Immortal to immortal, and that caught my attention. 'cause that's not correct.

Okay? You cannot fulfill your divine destiny and infinite potential as an immortal creator of alchemical harmonic perfection when your attention is on everything but the direct source of life within you. Does that not, does that not just tickle your fancy a little, you know, are, are you like That's right.

The direct source of life within me because I am that. I am. That I am. Right. And then another one that I've been playing with, it's a little practice actually, and. You know, again, something to play with, to feel into, to see how it supports you. But he said, and many spiritual teachers have talked about this, you are, you pre predate, you are before thought.

You are before emotion or story or anything like that. That is not you. You are not your human body. You are what exists before thought. You are the observer having an experience of source embodied. And so this, he gave this exercise and it, it's, it goes like this. Um, it says, that's just blank. That's not me.

Then let it go. Like letting it go is the action of just like letting it dissolve. So what he's saying is like, as an example, that's just a thought, that's not me. And then let the thought go. Or that's just emotion. That's not me. And then you let it go. That's just pain or that's just an experience. That's not me.

And then you have to let it go. And I've been playing with this because, uh, he talks about how. People, people, people who are masters, who are very focused again on what he talked about, right? Being master creators and focusing only on what they truly desire without doubt. Uh, they think on purpose. They, they are very acutely aware of their thoughts and part of me was like, man, oh man, but here's the thing.

My noodle is cooking all the time. How are people able to do that? Obviously outside of meditation, if you are able to get there or to find something that allows you to be in a meditative or flow like state where you're not like having these constant thoughts, just a rumbling in your jumbling, you know, I don't know what that was, but I also am tired again.

Oh, I'm not tired. I am. Because language, I'm in the process of resting. I am. I'm integrating. Yep. There we go. I'm empowered. Bada bing. Bada boom. Okay. But I started doing this thing where I became acutely aware on the couch yesterday. 'cause again, I downloaded this book yesterday on the couch. I could start paying attention to my thoughts, and I would just drift off on a thought.

Even while I'm listening to him talk. My thought would be pulled or my, my brain would be pulled to another place and I would be like, oh, that's just a thought. That's not me. And then I would pretend to take that thought and like, um, dissolve it or make it like a point of light or a sparkle. Little sparkles in my brain.

And I actually found it to be really interesting because the more you do it, the quicker you catch it. And you maybe already do this already, but it's, it's a really interesting game, and I thought about that. If you can make it a game that way, it's fun and playful and expansive and not like, oh, I, I don't know, thought that.

It was just running on autopilot unconsciously, and here we go again. I'm going off into this story and now I gotta catch it and dang it. How can I do that again? I don't know why I sounded so like kind of boring there. But it's kind of like the process of what I've been walking through. So something to play with, right?

Oh, I notice when I'm in the shower, my thoughts are like, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Versus coming back to now. And then it's really interesting because say you catch the thought and you're like, that's not me. That's actually the process of what you're doing. Every time that you catch something and you say, that's not me, you are creating space within yourself to hear your.

Your true self more clearly, and so that you can be the embodiment of your true core, authentic self, more clearly, more fully, more wholly. And when I started getting into this blank space, and I could see an old version of me as like, what are we doing now? Like we're used to thinking all the time, constantly, just so many mental dialogues and things, and now what you know, and when it's spacious.

Oh, it's so nice and he, obviously, I haven't perfected this because I'm brand new to it, but I thought, you know, maybe if I shared it with you, we could be in it together just to see, just to play, because why not? We're here to live life and to be playful and curious and stuff like that, and to make mistakes and to learn.

So we're in this together. And I wanted to say thank you for being with me. I also wanted to share, I wrote in between realms, which is my space for like dreams and symbolism and helping you see things from a different perspective. And one of my favorite ways to communicate breakthrough is epiphanies. To teach is through weird things like the messages I get in my dreams or the channel messages I have from different, you know, like the Council of Nine or from my higher self and stuff like that.

And I know I talked about this in my last episode, but that the dream about the Legos, that was only one part of it. So I take it deeper. And so if you're curious, that's in between realms and I'm just gonna talk about it and put it here and plant it because it's my favorite thing. I love writing. I know that people enjoy watching me on TikTok, but man, when you hear edible codes to be a human, okay.

Okay. Oh, but I love you. And I'm so grateful that you're here and I'm grateful that you care about nuance and that you also stay sovereign and that you didn't just make a snap judgment about me, or maybe you did. And also you are like, well, maybe also this can be true or this can be true. You know, allowing me to be multidimensional because that allows you to be multidimensional.

You know, and we are moving out of the world of binary black and white thinking, and that requires being a little bit uncomfortable and allowing people to be human. And I just thank you so much for being with me. It means the world. And I hope that you, my friend, have a wonderful magical day. And by the way, I did make this a short one, and I'm gonna give myself two snaps.

Yay. Okay, bye.