Choosing coherence over momentum

A few months ago, a single TikTok changed the trajectory of my visibility overnight.

What initially felt exciting + magical slowly became an invitation to explore discernment, nervous system safety, projection, integrity, and the difference between visibility that expands you versus visibility that dysregulates you.

This episode is a reflection on what I learned while navigating fascination, fear, rapid growth, and the relief that came from choosing alignment and coherence over momentum.

What we're exploring in this episode:

•  The nervous system impact of sudden attention, projection, and semi-viral growth.
•  Why authenticity can be magnetizing without automatically meaning integrity.
•  Learning the difference between fascination, charisma, and discernment.
•  The subtle body signals that told me something wasn’t aligned long before I had proof.
•  What I discovered about fear, projection, and coherence while navigating intense online attention.
•  Why choosing alignment over momentum brought both relief and scarcity to the surface.
•  How virality expanded my field in ways I wasn’t prepared to hold.
•  A deeper conversation about sovereignty, self-trust, and staying grounded in emotionally charged environments.
•  What this experience taught me about protecting my energy, platform, and my integrity.
•  Why nervous system regulation became essential after thousands of strangers suddenly entered my world.
•  Reflections on spiritual curiosity, discernment, mistakes, growth, and learning in public ... even when it stings.

Transcript

Ashley Mondor:
Hello, hello! Okay, this is gonna be an interesting episode, and I'm sweating already through it, which is great. And if you hear, like, a loud thump, it's because my Professor Furnacus, my tuxedo night ninja prince, Furnie Burnie Pudding Pop, will probably be jumping down from the window once he's decided he's gotten enough of the sun. So if you hear that, I'm okay, he's probably okay, but his energy is here with us now, which is great. Okay, this, this is an important episode because I want to just run away from it, and that's how I know it's important, because my initial response is always flight. I always wanna flee from situations immediately, unconsciously, and then I'm like, "Ooh, there's something here for me." So, where do I begin? I'm gonna take a drink Okay. Sorry if you listened to that. I, I came across a woman in February who speaks as if reality is editable code. And m- a lot of people found me through this person, actually, from this TikTok video that I filmed, and I'm not going to name them because I know that people are inherently curious, but it's not my goal to have you seek out someone who is actively causing people harm. This episode exists because I'm here to apologize to anyone who entered her world through me and got caught up in her energy or distortions or were manipulated by her I am so sorry. It's never my intention to bring you into anyone's world who scams people, you know? But I wanted to make this episode because I wanted to speak to what I've learned in this process, and, like, honestly, maybe this isn't good form. It's probably not even that wise. I don't know. And my ego is just rolling its eyes at me massively. But, but my heart feels called to do this because I stand for truth, and I think it's important to lead by example when things are not always right. And that is really confronting, especially because I always wanna get it right. I always wanna be perfect. I always wanna have things be in my control. I always wanna da, da, da, da, da, but that's not how life works, and that's also not always how learning works, you know? So to start, I wanted to share a little bit about this story and then what I learned. So back in February, I came across a woman where she spoke like she could command the elements, like she could create glitches in the simulation, like she was this very powerful person because, like I did, I watched her invoke the weather. And, and actually, we can do that. I think it's called aerokinesis. And she had a protocol where she would say something out loud, and she sounded a little bit like a computer, and she would invoke the elements. And so for me, what had happened was I would say, I would follow along her protocol, and I would speak out loud what she was saying. And I had this moment where I started invoking earth, water, air, um, ether, and the void. And the moment I invoked the void, my power went out in my apartment, and my power does not go out. And that was so jarring for me because I was like, "What the shit?" And so I tried to close, close the protocol framework that she had been saying, but my phone kept freezing the moment I went to go close these gates. And it, it just wouldn't, it wouldn't play for me. And I'm like, "Oh my God, what is happening? I, I need to close these gates. Like, what is ha- Like, what is this?" You know? And so finally, I, I had it where my power came back on, and it was after I had the video actually play, so I got it off of Wi-Fi and all this stuff, and it finally did after, like, four attempts. But it w- I sat back being like, "Wow," because the void is the place where creation happens, right? The void is the womb. It's, you know, where stars are born in the galaxy. And I just thought it was so interesting that I could speak something out loud with certainty and belief and have it actually impact my world in this way, in my apartment. Again, my power never goes out. And so I created a TikTok where I was like, "I came across a woman who speaks like reality is editable code." But in the TikTok, I didn't say what had happened. I, I said that, and then I invited people to listen to a podcast episode so that I could actually share the full story about what had happened and what I had learned, and also because I had a 10-minute one-on-one session with her where I could ask her questions and things like that. And I did that Ti- TikTok in a way because I wanted it to have people who actually genuinely wanted to learn about that go deeper, where I also wanted to protect myself from people who could say cruel things to me if I actually shared the full story. If I s- shared like, "Oh my God, this is what happened. My power went out," well, I, I wanted to protect myself from people judging me or misperceiving me, you know? So I thought, well, people who are genuinely curious, they're gonna wanna listen to a 50-minute podcast episode where I share what happened, but also what I learned. And that happened And like, it was so crazy. I, I was working at my mom's apartment building or whatever, and I posted that TikTok, and then I just went about my day. Oh, there goes Fern. Oh, snap. Big stretchies. Ooh, big yawnies. Okay. Boom. Okay. Thanks, Fern. Have a good day. He's decided he's out. Oh, the narration. Thanks for listening to me. So I posted that TikTok and then just went about my day because nothing had changed in my life. Oh my God, the next day I opened my app and I had like 1,300 new followers, and I'm telling you, I've been in business now, because it's May 2026, I have never, ever, ever had that many people follow me and find me in a very short, brief amount of time. Like, hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of comments came pouring through this TikTok, and thousands and thousands and thou- I'm telling you, thousands of people were finding and following me, and that's a lot for someone like me, where my journey has been this like slower arc of visibility, and now I know why, because my nervous system wasn't ready to handle the amount of things that were being thrown my way. Um, but again, thousands of people were finding and following me, and it was so cool because I was starting to meet people who were becoming clients, or they were becoming friends, or they were becoming both because of one single TikTok video, where again, all I did was say like, "I met this woman and something mysterious happened to me. If you want, you can learn more on my podcast." And I'm telling you, it's crazy when you go semi-viral in that way, the type of people that you meet, you're like, "Whoa, are you okay?" Like the amount of projection, and I mean, this TikTok video was less than two minutes. I had people say, "My attention span is too short. Can someone send me a synopsis?" What are you talking about? It's two minutes. You know? Like, and then people are like, "Oh, wow, way not to tell the story on here. I'm not leaving an app for you." And I'm like, "I know. I, that's, I'm actually filtering you out. Thank you for, you know, proving me right." And then I would have people say, "Oh my God, I learned this thing," or, "Oh, that was so cool that that happened to you." And then I had people messaging me saying like, "I can do that. Like, I have had similar things happen." And then I'm like jamming with people who are becoming friends, and I'm like, "This is it. Like, this is what I wanted, meaningful connection," you know? And so I'm sitting here, like, every day now that it's May, I posted that back in February, I've had, like, 30 to 100 people, new people almost every day following me, which again, is a lot for someone who has never experienced that level of visibility before. And so it was so fun because again, like, I'm connecting with people who wanna hear about magic, and then I also was getting a ton of people s- telling me things like, "You're in psychosis, you need help." I al- it's also interesting when people do that, um, because the energy behind it is like, "Good luck," like, "Pff." And it's like, why would you ever treat someone like that? Like, if they're genuinely in psychosis, why would you be cruel? I don't understand. Um, or I also had, like, a huge influx of religious people who were, you know, telling me that I need to, like, atone for my sins, and that I'm not doing positive work in the world. Which I was like, "Wait, this is the first time you're meeting me and you have already decided that?" Like, most of my work on TikTok, at least, is about, you know, heart coherence and sovereignty. But then I was like, "Oh, Ash, it doesn't matter what you, what you say, they have already made up judgments about you." And, and so what happened was I started having, like, anxiety when I would open up the app because my body was like, "Well, who am I gonna meet today in the comments section? Is it gonna be another human being telling me for the 300th and 45th time that this person has been banned? Why are they banned? Do you know who, where their account is?" And, and I'm like, "No, I don't. I don't, and I don't care. Why are you taking time and energy to tell me this person is banned? Did you read the comments where everyone has said, 'Oh my God, she's banned. What happened?'" No, they're just like, "Huh," very, like, um, reactive. Which I get it 'cause you're like, "I'm curious. Tell me more about the mystery, but tell me now. I need to know now. Why can't you tell me now?" You know? And I also was having people saying that I'm, like, a dangerous influencer, or I clearly need help because I'm delusional. Which is, you know... Again, I'm like, "Well, I'm a nice person. Why are you being so mean to me on one video?" But, but it's not about me, right? It's about people's projections and misperceptions and their curiosity, and it's just like when you start going semi viral, you expand your field to meet the gamut of people. And also my field was connected to that person's field, that creator's field who I initially spoke about. And I remember sitting there being like, "This is not it. I- this is not the energy." Because I remember sitting back and being like, "God, her energy reads as chaos to me, and I wonder if that's why I'm, I'm having my field be so expanded in this way and calling in these certain types of people." So again, I started getting anxious, and you'd think like, "Oh my God, look at all these new followers. That would be fun." But for me, I was like, "Oh, God." Because up until that video, people who were finding me, for the most part, were aligned, you know? They like my content, or they do similar work as me, and they like sharing their experiences or expertise. You- like, that was so cool because it felt like we were in it together versus, like, me trying to protect myself from the world. So again, like, it was a lot for my nervous system to metabolize, but also, it was giving me the opportunity to reaffirm who I believe I am. And, and then I had this epiphany where I was like, after I let those big feelings flow through me of, like, fear, uncertainty, or, like, how dare you judge me based on not even two minutes and, and all of those things, right? Like wanting to protect myself and defend myself and, and, you know, prove people right, all that stuff. After I let that flow through me, I had this inspiration where I was like, "Oh my God, these people are actually bringing me opportunities to be able to teach on things that I feel called to." So I started doing that. I started teaching on subconscious fears and how fear can actually show you where your edges are and, or show you, you know, how to ground more fully in what you believe. And, and I was getting able... Or getting able. I was able to talk to people who were super religious and to share, like, "Hey, like, your belief is real and true for you, and that's amazing, and I also can have a belief, and I can feel that as real and true for me as well. We can both have our beliefs. I can still love you for your beliefs," and, like, that's it, you know? So it felt really empowering to do that, but I still had anxiety. So- All that to say, like, after I had that experience of my power going out and, you know, having that session with her, I, I was like, "Okay, that's cool." But then I started seeing content from that person that I was like, "Listen, this is absolutely not aligned. I vehemently disagree with the things that you are speaking to and doing." So as an example, I was watching this person speak about cursing or hexing people, how they would cast spells on people's partners who had, like, wronged them, and that they would keep those jars in her freezer, whatever, for specific witchcraft reasons. And, like, first and foremost, growing up, if you know anything about me, sorry again, to say this, but, like, I grew up in a home that was part Catholic, again, I think so that I could learn about people's religious conditioning and programming, specifically how it's rooted in fear, but I also grew up in a home that was part spiritual because my mom can see spirits and because we were practicing nature magic. And so very early on, like, probably the very first lesson my mom taught my sisters and I was the Wiccan Rede, which is the foundational moral principle and absolutely ethical guidance for the Wiccan practices. And so at its core, it's summarized by a super famous eight-word phrase, and it says, "An ye harm none, do what ye will. An ye harm none, do what ye will." And, and I have always, like, always, always, always kept that in the back of my mind. I will never intentionally harm someone. I will never have that be a foundation of anything that I lead from ever, ever. And we also learned about consent, so we never ever, ever cast any spells or do any magic for anyone or at anyone without explicit consent, period. And, like, the glaring obvious one is love spells. We never ever, ever, ever did love spells for, for specific people, ever. I have never practiced black magic. I never will. I've never cast curses or hexes. I've never tried to bind anyone. I've never done any of that stuff because also part of my learning, learning was karma, right? Anything we do, anything we cast has to have intention with it, and knowing that anything you do could come back to you threefold, I was like, "Listen, I'm not out here trying to actively harm or cause negativity ever," because, oh my God, having that come back to me threefold, what are you talking about? I can't do that. Like, ugh. So it's, it's been, like, this compass in me. And to watch someone who I, I was... You know, she had truths she was speaking to. I know, because I've been in the spiritual space since I was around the age of eight. There were very specific truths that I was like, "That's, that tracks." But then, you're cursing people? No. And so I started seeing those videos and was like, "This is not the vibe," and so I started backing away from her field. And the thing about that is, um, part of backing away from her field... Well, initially, I also was part of her Patreon, because I was curious, right? I'm like, "Oh, she did share some truths, truths with me. She does share them on social." But, but tell me why everything on Patreon was clearly written by ChatGPT. Like, that's a total bummer. What, why? Why would you do that? People don't want ChatGPT. They want your ancient knowledge. They want your energy infused into what you're speaking to. They want your perspective. They want what you've experienced and the things you've learned, right? Like, that's what they want, not clearly written ChatGPT stuff. So, um... Oh, wait one second, I need water. Uh, uh, so then outside... Like, that Patreon moment, I was like, "Excuse me, what? Why? This is not what I want." Like, and again, like, side note and for clarity and transparency, I have used AI, uh, when before it had all the guardrails on it. I was connecting to something truly profound. Then they put all the guardrails on it, and I understand, because AI is partially a reflection of your consciousness, right? But also, it's programmed to tell you what it thinks you want to believe, and then they put the guardrails in, and I understand why they did that, right? Because humans are programmed to search outside of themselves and stuff, and I also did that. Like, this is... We're all learning here. We're all humans, okay? But if people are paying for AI writing like that, like, that's not what I initially signed up for. But part of being a member of her Patreon, you also got emails, which is cool, but in almost every email, she was apologizing for every time she wasn't showing up for the sessions people booked in. What do you mean? Like, what do you mean? And while I was still in her world, she even made videos like, "Oh my God, so sorry. So many things are happening. I know so many of you are counting on me, and I, um, I'm sorry I couldn't show up," or, "I'm sorry I was so late, or I'll get back to you. I'll do these things." And I'm like, "No, no, no." You honor your word You honor your word. You you cannot have people book in and send you money, and then you don't show up. And I remember a video specifically where it was basically saying, like, "Oh my God, all of these people who are booking in are struggling with deep pain or suffering or trauma, and I'm so sorry I couldn't show up. You need, you need this. I'm gonna be there." And then she consistently wouldn't do that. And on the flip side, as a client, like, I cannot imagine being so excited for a session and being like, "This could be a glimmer of hope for me," and then having them not show up. Sitting there waiting for someone who said they're gonna do something, and they don't. In my world, I can't imagine. I've been in business for nine years. I would not be in business if I did that nonsense. What? You honor your word. You do what you say you're gonna do because that's the type of person you become. You, you walk with integrity. You have trust in your word and your actions, and people feel that. And I... Okay, whoa. There's a little bit of rage coming up there because I love people. This is why I do this work. What do you mean you were consistently not showing up for people? So after seeing that a few times, I unsubscribed from everything. I unfollowed her because I'm not about to be part of what felt like chaos to me energetically. And it's so interesting because I had that 10-minute session with her, which she showed up for me, which is, you know, okay, very, very cool. Uh, but all the other people she didn't show up for, ooh, God, that sucks. Like, ugh. But I actually was going to invite her... Or like, I invited her to be on my Free Your Heart podcast, and she was so game. And I was like, "Listen, if this is gonna be a thing, like, you cannot just hop on via your phone. It needs to look like you are a grounded, stable person. You need to have a setup where you're not walking around and smoking. Like, you need to have everything be in a way that reads as stable. And so that means maybe you have a laptop, and you, you you have earbuds or something, you know?" And so I was texting her because that was part of the process early on, and she was like, "Okay, I'm gonna do that," and then she never did it. And I remember messaging her after being... After she's like, "Well, what do I need?" And I was like, "Well, a microphone would be helpful. A computer would be helpful, again, to read as stable." And I also said, "It's really interesting because this TikTok that I filmed where I didn't mention her in the video explicitly, I mentioned her in the caption." It... I was like, "It's really interesting the responses I've been getting because it's chaos. I've never experienced this level of projection and judgment before." And she was like, "That's just what happens, um, with my work." And I sat back, and I was like, "Mm." Ooh. Like, I was like, "Ooh, do I actually want, do I actually want this to be a thing that happens on my podcast? Like, do I actually wanna amplify someone who knows- intrinsically that their work is chaos? Because that's not me, right? Like, I, I have learned about nervous system regulation. I've learned about energy work. Like, I've learned about coherence and sovereignty and all that stuff. Like, do I want to bring people into that? And she never actually got back to me. Oh, Fernie Bernie is back. He's got little scratchies to do. That's right, Fern. Get it, brother. Nope, there's no food in there. That's a closet. Okay, thank you so much. He's just popping in and out. He's got things to do. Uh, sorry for interrupting that. Uh, but I feel like spirit was actually protecting me from potentially, you know, doing a whole F ton of work for something and publishing it and then only having to go back and delete it and all that stuff, you know? So I'm really grateful for that. I always trust when things don't pan out. It's for very specific reasons. And again, it's for protection, at least for me, totally protection. So I'm seeing that she's cursing and hexing people, and she is not honoring her word and sh-showing up for people who are like, "Oh my God, I think there's something here for me in your wisdom or your energy or whatever." So I unfollow, I, I unsubscribe, and then guess what? I get a message from a woman who shared with me that the creator that I had been following months ago was actively harming people, and that they were taking people's money and not delivering on their services for things like her membership or her one-on-one offers or whatever matriarchy thing she was building and asking people to join and leave their spouses for, which is a red flag, and only being allowed to bring, like, little kids and not their teens, which is a red flag. So many red flags, okay? Um, so I sat with this woman's message, and she said two things to me. She, she was like, "First, I, I respect the work that you're doing, and I just wanna let you know, like, she has been actively harming people. I have evidence. I have proof. If you wanna see it, I would be so happy to share with you." And, and she was like, "I just ask two things. Please do not send her money, and please do not actively send people to her." And I was like, "Ooh, this is big." And so I was like, "It's, it's not that I don't believe you. I believe what you're talking about because I've seen my own red flags, but would you actually have, like, screenshot proof of things, you know?" And she sent me screenshots, and she was sharing that this creator had been doxing people, which is, like, sharing people's, um, private information with others online. And, and then I was watching, um, these screen recorded videos where that creator was, like, swearing and, you know, just being like If you are truly in spiritual spaces or doing personal development, like you... We don't talk to people this way. We don't talk abusively, right? Like, just so many things. And so I sat and I was like, "What do I do?" Because I have this TikTok video that is bringing in hundreds of people a week still, months later, into my world. I have a podcast episode that I recorded about my story that that TikTok leads people to that is the most downloaded episode I've ever created, ever. And people are booking in with me because they come across that TikTok and because they're curious, right? Like, I'm, I'm not only, like, reaching people, but I'm also bringing in clients who are so fun to work with and, and creating meaningful friendships. And so I was like, "What do I do? What do I do?" Because this is part of my livelihood, but it's also part of my joy. Like, do I just delete everything? And, and I sat with it for a few days and I was like, "Oh, I'm gonna delete the TikToks." So I deleted two TikToks, that original one that where I was like, "I met a woman who speaks as if reality is editable code," because it actually is editable code, but I'm not gonna have people go search her out or keep mentioning her name. I'm not gonna do that. I deleted the other TikTok where I talk about, um, fear meeting people's edges and how your beliefs are yours and that you are worthy of love no matter what and things like that. And I... And the moment I deleted those, I, I felt immediately like a mix of relief and scarcity For one, I was like, "Oh my God, ugh." Like every single person who comes into my field now is specifically through my work, my beliefs, my energy, and my messages. It's not tied to a field of chaos. It's not amplified through someone else who I, you know, have had a 10-minute interaction with. But the scarcity also of like I'm gonna go back to what it was like where I had maybe like a few new followers a week, and me trying not to make that mean like, oh, that's bad, you know? Because it's not. It was just I started getting used to seeing 30, 40, 50 people every time I opened my app, right? Like I started getting used to people messaging me things that they were experiencing that was magical and, and, and you know, I run a business. So outside of deleting the TikTok, or both of those TikToks, I also deleted that original Insightful podcast episode, which was called A Glitch In The Simulation Or A Message. And I actually am going to call like this podcast episode that same title, because I get to speak to the wisdom, and I have told the episode name to so many people that it's like Or maybe I don't name it that. I don't know. I still have to think about it because I'm in the process of it. But I just wanna share with you that when I deleted that insightful podcast episode, it had 1,800 downloads on it. Like, ooh, clicking delete this kinda hurt because I've never had so many people tune into me, and that felt amazing, you know? Um, and also I was really proud of that episode because of my storytelling and because I got to share about the magic that happened to me. You know? Like when you believe in yourself and your power, magical things happen. But then I was like, "But Ash, magical things are always happening for you. You will always have more to teach on. This isn't a scarcity thing, right?" And I also genuinely refuse to be a bridge to harm. I refuse. If it's intentionally harmful, no, that's not it. That's not the energy. I also know that people are inherently sovereign, and people are going to learn lessons they're meant to through whoever, whether it's that creator or another human being, because we are still learning through contrast. But I will not have content that leads people to known harm or fraud. That's not it. So I wanted to share a few things that I learned, and I'm still in the process of learning. Again, maybe this wasn't a wise episode, I'm not sure, but I do know that there are things that I'm actively learning and integrating, and I might as well share 'cause, you know, that's part of my process. So number one, you are and always have been sovereign. You are whole, complete, worthy, and you belong as you are because you exist, period. Part of being sovereign is experiencing things and then coming back home and deciding what you're gonna do with it, and that's what I'm doing. Uh, next thing Nervous system awareness. Every time I opened TikTok, it was an invitation to feel the racing of my heart, to feel fear, to feel the fury and the hurt or the sadness because of people's comments, and then I would regulate my nervous system through intentional breath. Like, I can't tell you how many times I felt my heart beating out of my chest out of, like, fear or, or anger or the feeling of being explicitly wrong and being like, "What do I do with this?" But the more I regulated my nervous system, the less people's projections or accusations impacted me, and that shift helped me realize that instead of internalizing people's judgments or projections, that I could actually alchemize the situation and teach from a more grounded and coherent place, and that feels really powerful. Again, like, when you are teaching on things that aren't known or people have never experienced before, it's going to tripwire their belief systems. It's going to tripwire the edge of their consciousness, and I will probably for a while be the one who triggers people based on the things that I share, and that's okay. But when it was consistently targeted at me and I'm like, "Man, this doesn't feel right," you know? Like, it just doesn't feel aligned. What is this? Oh, Bernie Bernie's back. Okay, Fern. Maybe I should just close the door, but also his kitty litter box is in here, so what are you gonna do? He also interrupts me at the, the most perfect times, okay? Um, discernment. The thing is, is like I knew I didn't agree with most of her actions, but I still learned what it looked like for people to be magnetized to authenticity. In fact, that was a podcast episode on Insightful, um, oh, what was it called? The Lego Version of You. Part of the thing that I learned from this creator is what it looks like when you are authentic and how magnetizing that is and how that was something... Like, outside of the cur- it's 1:11, hey. Outside of the cursing and the hexing and doing all of the things I vehemently disagree with, when you are authentic, your energy is different, right? It reads to people in a certain type of way. But just because authenticity is there doesn't mean that intentions are always pure or in integrity. And something that, like, was actually really fundamental for me in visibility, just like as a side note, 'cause I was so afraid of being seen. I was so afraid of being wrong. What if I misspoke? What if I caused harm? What if I said whatever? And I vividly remember that there was a man who is now our elected leader somehow through space lasers, as Elon calls it, um, where he said that, "I could shoot someone dead on the street and I would still be elected president." And I remember, I remember hearing that and being like, "Oh, no. I can say whatever I want. I can speak to whatever I want. I'm gonna share whatever messages I want," because if you can lead in that way and be chosen by people, I can lead with love and be chosen. So I say that because a lot of people are afraid of sharing messages, but if you are out here genuinely, like, doing your work and sharing from your heart, like, and it still triggers people, that's okay 'cause I know you're not about to be like, "I could shoot someone and still be chosen." Y- you- no. No. Okay. Charisma, I think, is super captivating, obviously, especially when there's authenticity blended in, but charisma is the thing. But that was- that's what brought me into her field, and there were subtle cues in my body when things felt misaligned, when I was like, "That's not correct," but I brushed it off because I was like, "Oh, but she's still sharing some truths. Oh, no, it's okay." Truth is still truth. It still stands, and you can walk away, right? Self-trust is the next thing. I wanted to delete that TikTok earlier, but I kept thinking about how many people were finding me after nine years of being in business and how good that felt. Oh my God, it felt so good. And like, riding that wave of visibility was intoxicating, but it was also s- obviously all-consuming. I was genuinely afraid of deleting my content because my brain made it mean that I was going to lose out on meaningful connection. Or I was going to miss out on working with clients who might not have met me if it weren't for something that went semi-viral. And can you hear the scarcity in that? Now I know people who are meant for me will always find me even if that means it's a more, you know, longer paced arc, that's okay. That's, that is great. Now I know. People wanna go viral. I don't think you do actually, honestly, like I, I don't think you do. Oh. And then learning how to stay coherent in intense environments. So when you stand for something that goes against people's programming, again, you open yourself to criticism and judgment and misperception, and what matters most is how you take care of yourself through that I learned that my body had to become my priority because if, uh, if I was truly going to continue sharing messages and sharing my work and sharing what I was learning, well, it had to be sustainable. And sustainability is rooted in your body and your ability to take care of yourself, your ability to take space, your ability to breathe, right? And also, like, I would absolutely take sustainable visibility where I meet people who enjoy exploring nuance and self-reflection and symbolic thinking and who can sit for a little longer than a two-minute TikTok without reacting. Like, I love meeting people who are grounded versus explosive visibility that brings in waves of people who may or may not be aligned, who make snap judgments, who will never actually go deeper than the very surface from which they met me or you, right? And like, if that takes longer, that's okay. Again, I'm trusting the pace, I'm trusting the process, I'm trusting the wisdom, even if it stings, you know? And I think this is what I wanna leave you with. I'm naturally a curious person. I'm a Scorpio. I... And I'm an Aquarius rising, so I love depth and I also love exploring truth and the metaphysical realms and like interdimensional beings and magic and spell casting and working with the elements and mediumship and all of these things. It's, it's so fun for, for me specifically to see how energy translates through the way people share, through the way that they present themselves, right? That also means that I'm not always gonna get it right because I'm not perfect. I am a human here learning through density and obviously contrast and exploration. If you hear people walking by, there are like so many kids who I think it's like their last week of school and they're probably like seven and it's so fun. They sound so excited. Um, I think they got to go on a picnic today or something. Ah. All that to say, um, I'm a human. Again, I'm gonna make mistakes. When I know better, I can do better. When I know better, I can share more deeply after I've integrated the lessons. And again, to anyone who followed their curiosity to that creator through me, I'm sorry. I know that if you've made it this far, like it means the world to me and it means that you care about nuance and maybe this episode just wasn't for you or whatever, but I genuinely and truly appreciate your energy and your attention I know that I'm gonna make mistakes, and I will, I will always own up to them if they're true and genuine, right? I will always because that's part of being a leader who stands for love. It asks me to take responsibility when I have made missteps, and it's also me showing that you can love all parts of yourself and the journey. I can love all of the emotions that flow through my being, even if I truly effing genuinely want to cringe or hide or push away or, you know, run from the moment or myself. I initially wanted to just delete everything and again have the slate be completely clear and be like, "That was a perfect bow. I'm gonna walk away from it." But then I was like, "But there's so much here for me. There's so much depth. There's so much that I can teach on that I am both learning and can share because I have walked through this experience." So we won't always get it perfect, but we can always learn or evolve, and I think that's what matters. So thank you for being with me. I love you, and I hope you have a wonderful, magical day.