A Plague of Darkness, the Light of Truth (Bo)

In this episode we discuss the ninth of the 10 plagues, the plague of darkness. Our Sages tell us that Moshe brought down a darkness from the heavens. How can there be darkness in heaven? What does it mean for that darkness to be on earth? How did the Jews really have light during the plague? And what does that teach us about brining the light into our own lives? We get into all of that and more!

If you want to follow along in the text, it is Nesiovs Shalom on Shemot page ayin gimmel (73). You can find a pdf of the piece here.

This episode is sponsored anonymously for a refuah sheleimah for Sarah bat Tolsa and for general peace in Klal Yisrael. Thank you so much to this week's generous sponsor!

If you would like to sponsor an episode of the podcast, please email Rabbi Charnoff at rabbicharnoff@gmail.com.

Transcript

Rabbi Charnoff: 0:00

Hello everyone, this is Rabbi Robby Charnoth, and you are listening to the Chassidus for Life podcast. The podcast where we learn a deep Chassidic insight on the Parsha every single week, and not only gain a new understanding of an aspect of the Parsha, but explore how it can lead us to a more meaningful, vibrant, and spiritually uplifted life. In this episode, We're going to dive into Parshat Bo, specifically Makat Choshech, the Plague of Darkness. Our sages tell us that Moshe brought down a darkness from the heavens into Egypt. How can there be darkness in heaven? What does it mean for that darkness to be on earth? How did the Jews have light during that plague? And what does all that teach us about what it means to bring light into our own lives? We'll get into all that and more today. If you want to follow along inside, you can open up a Nesivo Shalom Sefer Shemot to page Ayim Gimel and the piece entitled Nateh Yadcha Al HaShamayim Vayehi Choshech, or simply go to the show notes for a link to a PDF. Feel free to just sit back, listen, and enjoy the ride. Most people do. This episode is sponsored anonymously for Erufua Shalema, for Sara Bat Tulsa, and for general peace in Klal Yisrael. Thank you so much to this week's anonymous sponsor. Your sponsorships are what make this podcast happen. If you would like to sponsor an episode of the podcast, please email rabbicharnoff at gmail. com or see the show notes for more details. All right, with that, let's jump into Parshat Bo. We are in Yeshivot Shalom on Parshat Bo. We are on page Ayin Gimel in the piece Netei yadcha al ha shamayim, v'eihi choshech, raise your hands over the heavens, and there should be darkness. The Tzivot Shalom has always opened up by quoting the Pasuk. V'yomer ha shem el Moshe, netei yadcha al ha shamayim, v'eihi choshech al eretz mitzrayim. HaShem says to Moshe to raise your hand over the heavens, and there should be darkness over Mitzrayim. Obviously the introduction to the plague of choshech, the plague of darkness. It says in the, so the me asks, Where was this darkness that was descended upon Egypt? Where did it come from? What it kind of darkness was this? And Rabbi Yossi says, Michoshech shalmala. It was a darkness from up on high. A darkness from the heavens. Sheh ne'emar, as the Possock says, Yashet choshech sitro, Sfivotav sukato. That HaKadosh Baruch Hu, that He made darkness His concealment, and around Him His shelter. this Possock in Tehillim implying, that there is, in fact, some sort of darkness up above. Some sort of darkness in shamayim. Ha'Shalom wants to understand both the question and the answer. He says, P'erush ha'sheila, what is the meaning of this question, me'hechan haya ha'choshech, where was this darkness from? The question means, de'choshech zeh kemuva b'mefarshim haya metzi'ut atzmit shel choshech ve'lo rak he'edar or that this reality the Mepharshim explained, this reality of darkness that came about. wasn't just darkness. It wasn't just a lack of light. It was a physical, tangible darkness. It wasn't just the absence of light. It was a reality of darkness. The Al Zeshua Al Midrash of the Medresh Shabbat that asks, Where did such a darkness come from? I understand that if you turn on all the lights that there's darkness. That I get. I've experienced that darkness in life. But what does it mean that there's an active reality of darkness, right? As as other Midrashim point out, that the darkness was so thick that the Mitzrim couldn't even move for the three days of the darkness. What is the nature of this darkness, that it was a reality of darkness as opposed to an absence of light? And he says that the answer that the Medrash gives O'Shalom, That it's a darkness, not of an absence of light in this world, but a darkness that descends from up above. Ha'inu tziva et Moshe, sheh yamshich al mitzrayim et ha'choshech shalmala. That ha'karash baruch hu is commanding Moshe to draw down to Mitzrayim a darkness from up above. L'lech ora says the Nesib O'Shalom. Einu muvan ma'hu choshech shalmala. That's great. We quote unquote answered the question. How can it be a reality of darkness? Because it's darkness from up above. But what is this darkness from up above? What does that mean, Choshech Shalmalah? How do we understand that? That's an answer, but I want to understand the answer. Harei l'malah hakolor, because If Moshe Rabbeinu was drawing it down from up above, if he's drawing this darkness down from the heavens, how could that be? Because up above, all there is, is light. Up in the heavens, all there is, is light. By Ekar Hashbaruch Hu, all there is, is light. So what kind of darkness is being drawn down from up above? V'im And if there really is such a thing as there being a reality of darkness of Kedusha up above, even if you wanna tell me, yes, I know it doesn't seem like it is, but we'll explain it. There is darkness up above and Mosha did draw down a darkness from heaven, a darkness from Hai. Who did he draw down for? He drew it down for the mi stream. So How can we try and merit to have interaction with darkness from the heavens? That shouldn't be possible, meaning you're stuck either way. Either it didn't come from the heavens and we have a problem with, with the Medrash, or it did come from the heavens, in which case, What right did Mitzrayim have to interact with darkness from up above, from darkness from the heavens? They shouldn't be able to have any interaction with it. V'al omro v'lashon netei yadcha al ha shamayim and when it comes to the pussic itself of Moshe being told, netei yadcha al ha shamayim to stretch out your hand over the heavens. Makshe b'sefer haKadosh tol dot Yaakov Yosef, the tol dot Yaakov Yosef asked the question, L'chora haya tzarich lomar harayim yadcha el ha shamayim. Meaning the proper language here in the Chumash should be, tell Moshe to raise up your hand. Towards the heavens. Because, Ki mashma'ut netei hi, What is the meaning of netei? Ki ilu moshe al ha shamayim, It implies that Moshe is already above the heavens, and is actually stretching out his hand over the heavens, from above the heavens. So why is the Torah phrasing it as, Moshe, stretch out your hand over the heavens, as opposed to, raise up your hand towards the heavens. What are we meant to take away from that as well? That's what he asks here. Ki ilu Moshe al ha shamayim, it seems like Moshe is above the heavens. U'mitzavehu ha kadosh baruch hu, shi inateh yado aleyhen. And it seems that ha kadosh baruch hu is commanding him to stretch out his hand over them from being above them. Those are our questions. Let's see what he has to say. Next paragraph. So the Tolos Yaakov Yosef, he explains this whole concept as the Tziva Shalom is always committed to doing in terms of our Avodah Sashem. God is commanding Moshe. Raise your hand upon the heavens from above. He says, What was the Kaddish Baruch Hu telling Moshe? He's telling Moshe to raise himself up to such a high place, to such a lofty place, that Moshe, yes, is going above the shamayim in order to bring down. Deeply spiritual things that also exist beyond the heavens. HaKadosh Baruch Hu is sending him beyond the heavens to bring something down that exists beyond the heavens. What is that? Va'al yideichayim, va'ihi choshech ha'al eretz mitzrayim. And through this, there's going to be darkness for Egypt. Sheh zeh gufa yeh ha'choshech ha'gadol biyoter l'mitzrayim. He says so beautifully. He says, because that in and of itself is the biggest darkness. The biggest darkness for Mitzrayim is When something from Shemayim is going to come down into Egypt, Egypt is not prepared for something from Shemayim to come down into the reality, to the Tumah, to the disgusting reality of Egypt itself. Dinay kishemach nisim rasha legan eden. Because if you were to try to schlep a rasha into Gan Eden. Ma are sitting and the crowns of understanding and glory are on their heads, and they're enjoying the radiance of the itself. Hear what he says. It's so, so deep a for a Rasha being there. In the presence of those tzaddikim, being in the presence of the radiance of godliness, that's the biggest darkness and yesurim and pain that he could possibly experience. Achar shemi yamav lo hurgal leor ruhani. Because his whole life he never prepared himself. He never made himself accustomed to spiritual light. V'nimshach achar ha'ta'anugim ha'kashmiim. And he spent his whole life just going after physical pleasure, physical enjoyment. Preface it with a mashal. I heard this from a Rebbe of Yoel. He said that what is it like going to Shemayim after 120? It's an incredible concept to contemplate. That to go up to Shemayim, to go up to Gan Eden after 120, he says this world is like living in a room where you're living there by a dimmer switch. And the goal is that your whole life, our whole life in Olam HaZeh, the goal is is to slowly but surely, more and more, inch by inch, centimeter by centimeter. Bit by bit, slowly move up that dimmer switch. And every second that we slowly move up that dimmer switch, we accustom ourself to the light. And the goal is, is that when we get to Gan Eden, then when we experience that light, that light for us is pure joy. The flip side of that is, You take a Rasha, and he's thrown into Gan Eden, when the light flips on for him. You ever been in a dark room and you didn't expect somebody to turn on a light? You ever been in like a really beautiful, gorgeous, amazing, Sudasha sheet that's gone on, well beyond when Shabbos is over, and then the one guy, it's always the one guy, flicks the light on because he wants to get things moving, and you're like, no, what are you doing? Like, you put your eyes. You're not prepared for it. It's the same light. It's completely the same light. But it's a totally different experience. When a tzaddik goes to Gan Eden, and the tzaddik has spent his entire life adjusting himself, accustoming himself, build himself up as an Eved Hashem, to be in God's presence, step by step over the course of his life, every single way, step by step. When he gets to Gan Eden, he knows what it means to be in God's presence. For a Rasha, that same experience of now suddenly being in God's presence, It's unfathomable to him. He doesn't know what to do with it and it's blinding to him. It's totally, totally blinding to him. I think he's going to unpack it more. I have more to say on this, but let's have them to see what Shalom speak first, but that's the base idea here. that the darkness and the light can actually be the same thing. Let's see what he says. We're on the bottom line of the first column. He says, S, this is what God commanded to Mosha, Shi, or Elion. Top of the next column that he's supposed to bring down the light. Monu in the plague of darkness is being told. Go up to Shama and bring down heavenly light. Bring down the light from Shamayim. She'ein lecha choshech gadol mimenu lemitzrayim. Because there's no greater darkness for Mitzrayim than the light of heaven. We only want one more line, but just to unpack it a little further. That's the greatest darkness for Egypt. There's a famous gemara that I think helps understand this. And it's something to really think about, to really contemplate. It's transformative in terms of both our Avodah Sashem, and in terms of understanding what our Avodah is in Olam HaZeh. The Gemara says that, forget if it's one of the Tanayim or one of the that they went up to Shemayim, and he comes back down, and I think it's his father, I think, again, I may be, I remember the punchline of the Gemara, I may be getting the Gemara wrong, but I think it's his father, says to him, he says, Oh, what did you see? What did you see when you went up to Shemayim? He says, I'll tell you what I saw. Olam hafuch ra'iti. I saw an opposite world. I saw an upside down world. It's such a deep concept. He goes at the shamayim and what does he see? That everything is upside down. What does that mean? That means that when we live in this world, the way that the world is presented to us is that we think that our feet are on the ground and that everything is upright and everything makes sense. We live in an olam hafuch. We live in an upside down world. We live in a world where everything is crazy. We live in a world where everything goes against Avot HaShem, it goes When we follow Torah and Halacha, when we follow Avot HaShem, the world thinks that we're crazy. And when we truly drink in the depth and the beauty of what Torah has to offer, on a deeper level, when we assimilate into our minds, The Torah's worldview, the world seems quote unquote upside down, but really for the first time it's right side up. What the Torah offers us is a way to totally change our perspective. Totally change, 180 degrees, and flip us on our heads. Because what's the chidish of that? Because if you have the openness, the willingness, and the care to take in the perspective of Torah, the only true objective perspective that there is, All humans are vulnerable to subjectivity. We all are limited by our own perspective. The only objective truth that exists is God's truth, and he gives it to us through his Torah. And if we open ourselves up to the fact that the Torah was given to us, to literally transform our perspective into the true, only objective perspective of reality, then the whole world looks at us like we're on our heads. But then suddenly we get to Olam Haba, and we're the only ones with our feet on the ground. It's a crazy concept. You turn yourself on your head down here in Olam HaZeh. You end up with your feet firmly planted in the ground in Olam Haba. It's an incredible concept, and it takes such a tremendous amount of humility and openness and care and perspective taking to hear what the Torah is saying. To open ourselves up to what the Torah is saying. How many years year in and year out and year in and year out it happens on campus even more so in Shana Aleph in yeshiva and seminary. Every year year in and year out. Rabbi, this doesn't make any sense. I know that this is true, but the Torah says it doesn't make sense, and I know that I'm right, and how do I deal with the Torah? Then just know, how do you deal with you? The Torah's right! And I have empathy for you that your perspective doesn't align with the Torah's, but now you're a Voda, my Voda now is. How do I align my perspective with the Torah's perspective? The Torah says to kill every Amalekite. It's a famous one. Rabbi, how can we stand for genocide? I don't know, but God said so. And Baruch Hashem, we don't know who Amalek is with Manazeh, so it's not a halakhalamaysa question. but I need to now work on myself to understand what is Amalek and whether you understand it literally and understand what Amalek is and why Amalek is so dangerous and what it means to have raw inhumanity, or whether you understand it metaphorically. we're not so far away from Purim and that you need to wipe out Amalek and wipe out Suffolk and wipe out any doubt of issues of Emunah in your mind, but you have to deal with it because if a Kadesh Baruch Hu says it at whatever level you internalize it, that needs to be part of your truth because it is part of truth. full stop. in one of the early Queens college days, I gave a shear on how long to wait between meat and dairy. You have a lot of shear went through all the sources from the psukim and the Mishnayot and the Gemara and the Rishonim and the Akronim. and I explained that there's definitely legitimacy to keeping into the fifth hour, and that's what I've been doing since I became Froome. But it seems to me from the sources that one should probably, in my humble opinion, I'm not asking for anybody listening to this podcast, I'm just saying what I said in this year, that it's probably better to keep six hours. Speak to your local rabbi to get your own psak. But that was what I came out from. And I said, listen, because of that, I'm now not taking upon myself six hours. That would be mechaiv myself. It would obligate me in six hours. But from the sources, that's what I believe to be true. And so I'm going to try to now wait six hours, even though I only hold into the six hour. I remember a student came over to me afterwards, the shir. And she said, I don't understand. And I was like, of course you didn't. I gave the shir. That totally makes sense. You don't understand what I was talking about. So she goes, no, no, you don't understand. You learned the sources. I was like, yeah, I said, and you were keeping into the six hour. And I said, yeah, I said, and you learned that it makes more sense to keep six hours. I said, yeah, I said, and now you're going to change what you do because of that. I said, yeah, so I don't understand. You mean you're changing what you're going to do based on what you learned? And the question just floored me. The answer is yes. That's the whole point of learning. If the Torah doesn't match with your worldview, your worldview needs to change. You need to adapt to the objective truth. That's the whole point. And that could be in something as practical, but uncomfortable as trying to wait six hours instead of five hours in one minute. It could be, yes, trying to figure out what to do with Amalek. It could be understanding issues of Emunah. whatever it is that you're struggling with, whatever part of Torah that you learned that you're trying to deal with, we have to make ourselves align with the objective truth of Torah. That's the goal. Let's bring it back to the peace. That's the light. That's the light that we're adjusting to. That's what it means to have the light of God's presence. God is that objective truth. You're aligning yourself with God. You're seeing godliness in the world. Even though the world says it's crazy. This is crazy! I remember when I was growing up, there were some summers, I don't know why this happened, but when I went to, uh, went to Nassaura for a few summers, and I kept on, for some reason, just like, Drifting towards the Missoura Kolel I don't know why I was going on. I cut a spur who had his plans. Nobody could explain it. And I spent like full hours of the day in the Missoura Cole, when I was growing up in the years that I was there, which wasn't all of them, but the years that I was there and I remember coming back to my regular life after the summer. And like, there was one or two years I can, I was like, I'm going to be shown where to gear. And everybody in my world looked at me like, you're insane. No, you're not. Are you kidding me? That they laughed at me. Like that wasn't even on the table as an option. The world looks at us and says, you're crazy. You're going to be sherman of giya? You're not touching people of the opposite gender? What's wrong with you? There's something messed up about you. Honestly, in this day and age, you believe in God and spirituality? How naive are you? We're not even dealing with, like, Jews for Jesus anymore. Just cynicism. You're crazy! What's wrong with you? You're like, are you stupid? You believe that there's a God? To live in a world where we're living with the light of a Qadosh Baruch Hu, where we're living the clarity of a Qadosh Baruch Hu, where we're allowing the Torah to forge our worldview, it goes against what this world believes is truth. And it's hard, it's hard to remember, that even though it looks like everybody's standing on their feet, they're all upside down. And we're planting ourselves in Gan Eden. We're planting ourselves in Gan Eden. We're switching up that dimmer switch over the course of our lives. So when the light gets Haba, we're like, yeah, what are you talking about? This is what I've been looking at the entire time. We're just coming out of Sefer Bereshis. Meremi points it out in a beautiful way. Olam Haba is referred to as the Olam of Emes. It's the world of truth. And Olam HaZeh is called the Alma de Shikra, an Olam of Sheker. Who was the person who was the Ish Emes? Titan Emmett Liakoff. Emmet belongs to Yaakov. Emmet is Torah. Yaakov is Torah. It relates to Tiferet, Emmet, Torah, Yaakov. They all sort of overlap with each other. Without getting into it. And so he brings up the Gemara which says, Yaakov Inu low mate. Yaakov Inu never died. And the Gemara itself challenges that. It's like, what are you talking about? We have Pesukim. He dies. He gets embalmed. He gets buried. What do you mean? He had a spade in him. What do you mean he didn't die? Okay, so the Gemara deals with how the Gemara deals with it. But one of the opinions says, no, Yaakov Inu never died. So remember we said one of the explanations of that is? Of course he didn't die, because what is the world to come called? Olam ha Emes. And who was Yaakov Inu? He was the Ish Emes. So for him, when he died, there was no transition. He never died. He was no longer in Olam Hazeh. But there was no transition for him from Olam Hazeh because he was living Emes. So he never died. He lived in the light. And so when the light got flicked on, he was already there. That's the goal. For Rasha. For light like that to come down to Mitzrayim. The pain of that. I want to pause that also for a minute. I'm sorry if I'm talking so much at the beginning, but we'll get through the piece, don't worry. Pain of that in such a deep way. It's so sad, because if you think about it, Nebach lo alinu, from the other side, let's say a person goes, and lo alinu, they don't live a life of Torah, and they don't live a life of emes, and they don't work on themselves to see the world and with as objective clarity as they can, through the eyes of a Kadosh themselves to a Kadosh Baruch Hu and His light in this world. When the light gets flipped on in the next world, they're blinded by it. They can't see anything. it's not just that you can't see. There's physical pain. When that light hits your eyes, it hurts. There's pain. For the Rasha, Lo Aleinu, when they go to Ulam Haba. There's pain. This is the light? This is the truth? I had a hundred and twenty years and a Kudusporo who begged me for a hundred and twenty years to work on myself, to move up the dimmer, to learn his Torah, to get close to him. That was all he begged me to do. He gave me a hundred and twenty years to do it. God doesn't need to punish us. He's not looking to punish us. Our God in Spirituality says, I'm going to reveal myself to you after 120. Because I care about you, because I love you, and I'm going to be in your presence and you're going to be in mine. Because I love you. And if you accustomed yourself to be close to me, we're going to hug. But if you spent your whole life turning your back on me, the embarrassment that you are going to feel, because you rejected me. Because you didn't spend the time to get to know me. Because suddenly you're standing here with my arms out to you and you turned your back to me. The pain that we feel in Ulam Haba is the pain of our own making. The pain of our Averahs is the pain of our own making. God has no interest in punishing us. God has no interest in our suffering. Chas v'shalom. But it's olam ha emes, and if the emes is, lo aleinu, that I turned away from God, if the emes is that I lived in darkness, then the emes is that my back is to him, and the emes is that I don't see the light, and the emes is that I'm blinded by it, and the emes is that I feel embarrassed. And that embarrassment is, it's, that's what eats away at me in Olam Haba. But it's the reality of my own making. It's the choice I get to make. Am I committed to Olam HaZeh so I plant my feet in Olam HaZeh? Or am I committed to Olam Haba and turn myself around and I'm upside down? we just had Shabbos B'Varchim, Shvat. Anybody who didn't see Tu Bishvat coming, you don't know me, hopefully you'll get to know me a little bit, right? Tu Bishvat is coming, That's the Holy Nyan that the Kabbalah always talks about, that the whole world is an upside down tree. It's the same concept. It's an upside down tree. What does that mean? Because we see in this world a tree that its roots are in the ground. But it's not true. Everything is truly rooted in Shemaim. Everything comes down from Shemayim. All good comes down from Shemayim. All life comes down from Shemayim. So we see trees right side up. Gotesh Baruch Hu says no, trees are really upside down. The reality of the whole world is a tree and it's an upside down tree. Because the truth is up on high and we need to drag it down, schlep it down into this world. And that's where it expresses itself. But the roots are really up in heaven. And that's what it means to stand right side up. Sorry, I talked a lot. Let's see what he has to say inside. Let's take it a little bit further. We're still at the top of the second column. First line, last word. U'meivi alzeh ma'amara katuv. they bring down the pasuk. Va'yelchu shloshet yamin ba'midbar, ve'lo matzumayim. So in the next parasha, parasha b'shalach, It says that they went for three days in the desert and they weren't able to find water. Va'amru al zeh chazal. Chazal say on this. What does it mean that they went for three days without water? Ein mayim el ha Torah. All water means, Shehalkhu lilmod Torah. That when they left Mitzrayim and after Kiriath Yom Tzv, they were running into the desert, they went three days without learning Torah. Uketotza'ah mikach. And as a result of this, Va'yavohu maratah. They came to a place called Mara, they came to a place called Bitterness and they weren't able to drink the water of Mara because it was bitter rah that because for three days they didn't learn Torah rah. They already felt a bitter taste in Torah. That a person who never has learned Torah, that Torah at the beginning, Torah, mitzvot, ma'asim tovim, it's bitter for such a person. And there's no greater darkness than this. Like the ram also says that just like when a person lo is sick, so it can mess with your taste buds hamar, that things that are sweet suddenly taste bitter and things that are bitter suddenly taste bitter. It It can flip your taste. He says, this is the Rambam, Kach cholei ha nefashos So too is the sickness of the soul. B'ta'avim ra'ot A person desires negative thoughts, negative perspectives, negative ways of seeing the world. V'son'im ha derach ha tovah, and they hate the way of good. V'chen Yeshayahu omer, and so too Yeshayahu says about such people, v'arashim ha lalo, in the beginning of Yeshayahu. Talks about the people who say that RAH is to and who say darkness is light, and light is darkness. Who say the things that are bitter or sweet? Things that are sweeter, bitter, like this says the SLU of a rabbi. On the Pasuk, Nefesh sava'a tavosh nofet, v'nefesh ra'iva komar matok. That, the Pasuk in Mishlei says, a person who is sated, a person who is full, will trample even on a honeycomb. He's full, he's satiated, he's good. He'll even trample on a honeycomb. V'nephesh ra'iva komar matok. But for somebody who's starving, even something that's bitter tastes sweet. So how does the slanomer explain the pasuk? He says, nepesh sav'a. What does it mean a person who's sated, a person who's full? It doesn't mean the pshat, a person whose belly is full. nepesh sav'a hainu sabeinu mituvecha. A person who's full means a person who's full of your goodness. HaKadosh Baruch Hu, I'm sated with all of your goodness, I'm in your presence. I've learned your Torah, I'm connected to you. I know you, I know the light of truth, I see you. That's what a person who's full is. Sh'u sava mehargashat ha ta'anug shel az yaneig al Hashem He knows what it means to have real oneg. He knows what it really means to be full. Really full doesn't mean that my belly is stuffed so I want to vomit. Really, really full means I'm full with the oneg of HaKadosh Baruch Hu. I'm full of ruchnius. I'm full of or Hashem. I'm full of dveikus. That's being full. That all of the in the world, it's like nothing before. He doesn't care. No physicality introduced such a person. He's connected spiritually. What I need physicality for, it's an incredible deep point. That's so, I mean, this is something which has been proven religiously and psychologically, it's in our sources, psychology talks about it a lot now. It's such a deep concept. So much of why, whether we know it or we don't know it, whether we realize it or we don't realize it, why we run after physical desire in this world. It's always to fill a void. when a person is running after physicality, it's because they feel a lacking, they feel an emptiness. And when they feel an emptiness in such a way where they don't know how to fill it, then the Yitzhahara gets in and says, You feel empty? I know, let's go for as instant gratification as possible. And it's a logical conclusion, but it's such a sad conclusion. It's such a painful conclusion. If I'm desperately looking for connectivity, if I'm somebody who feels isolated, if I'm somebody who feels alone, if I'm somebody who feels like I'm not connected to anybody, even if it's somebody who's very popular and cool or whatever it is, so I run out and I look for instant connection. I don't believe in myself to really have a relationship. I don't really believe in myself to have a connection. I don't believe that anybody could truly love me, so what do I look for? I look for instant gratification, if I can have a physical relationship, so that will fill the void. And it does, for that ten seconds, or that minute, or that hour, or that night, or whatever it is. It fills the void. But we need to fill it with something. A person, on the flip side, if a person is close to a Qadosh Baruch Hu and their life is filled with spirituality, is filled with zekos, is filled with meaning, you don't have the need to run after that emptiness. I don't want to say never, I've rarely seen a person like run from the base medrash in the middle of a sefer to binge Netflix. Like, they don't, you don't see that. maybe in Shana Aleph but like, past Shana Aleph you don't see such a thing. when does the person go and do that? Uh, when they finish Night Seder. And then there's Marv. And then they drift. And then they're not sure, and they're not tired anymore, because it was Thursday night, and they had tons of caffeine, and sugar, and soda, and cholent, and their bodies know what time it is, and they know they should go to sleep, but they're like hyped up. And they're not in the base medicine anymore. Then they suddenly they binge Netflix until four or five o'clock in the morning and then lose the whole Friday that can happen. But You never see a person, like, in the middle of Nisivot Shalom go like, This is awesome, but I could get five episodes in if I leave right now. Like, nobody's thinking like that. You don't think like that. Nobody's sitting at a kumzit, who's really into it. Not somebody who's forced to go to a kumzit. Somebody who's in a kumzit, singing, feeling vegas with the Kaddish Baruch Hu, and saying like, But I could be at a party somewhere Nobody thinks like that. Meaning when your soul is full of Ruch Nius. When you're full on Ruch Lius, you have no void to fill. And that's the beauty of it. And that's something to really recognize. That if I have a moment where I feel empty and I feel the Yitzhahara drawing me towards meaninglessness, towards that instant gratification, ask yourself the question, Can I be Misgabir with my Yitzhahra Tov? Can I let my Yitzhahra Tov open up my eyes to see the MS? What's the MS? I have a void. I have emptiness. In this moment, I don't feel like I'm fulfilling my purpose in this world. In this moment, I don't feel connected, and I'm desperately reaching out to fill that void, to numb it. Do I want to numb it, or do I want to bring it to life? Do I want to fill it with cement, or do I want to fill it with ruchnias? If I fill it with cement, I'm just weighing myself down with physicality. If I fill it with ruchnias, I'm flying up to Shemayim. And in that moment is a choice. It's a critical moment of choice. In Atomic Habits, he actually talks about this. I'm sure there's also a Jewish source, but I know from Atomic Habits. he says that there's moments of choice that are more important than other moments, because there are moments of choice that you make, which have a cascade effect on everything that happens afterward. He talks about the context of trying to eat healthier. he says, yes, you want to eat healthy, but when you're going out to a restaurant, the choice of which restaurant you go to is going to determine so much of your answers and your struggle going on forward. Because if you go to a place without healthy food, then you're fighting the whole time, and you'll probably lose. But if you choose a restaurant with healthy food, where that is what they serve, then the one choice you made impacted all the rest of the choices that you made. To recognize those moments where you're about to reach for the screen, those moments you're about to reach for social media, those moments you're about to run out to, to some party somewhere or something that is on a Saturday night those moments when you say, no, I realize what's happening and I'm making a critical choice at a critical moment and I'm turning course, I'm going to the base medrash. It may not feel natural, it may not feel easy, it may not feel fulfilling, but then you finally sit with a sefer and you start to learn. And you will think to yourself, How could I have thought to go anywhere else? You finally get to the kumtzits and you're singing and you're like, Tov lo nos l'shem and you're singing, How could I have been anywhere else? You're sitting in the presence of your Rebbe and you're hearing Torah from him and you're thinking, how could I have even thought not to be here? I was crazy. You ran out to do a chesed. You ran out to go to an earlier shachras or a later ma'arev or whatever it may be. And as you're standing there, having taken three steps back, three steps forward, and you're standing, as my Rosh Hashiva once put it, that when you're standing in Shemona Esring, You're standing in a yichud room of the Kadesh Baruch Hu, and as you're standing there in the yichud room of the Kadesh Baruch Hu, nobody else is allowed to walk in front of you. Why? Because they're interrupting a conversation, a private, secret conversation between you and the Kadesh Baruch Hu. And you're standing there, three steps forward, whispering into a Kadesh Baruch Hu's ear and talking to him, the depths of your soul. And you ask yourself, How could I have gone anywhere else? Those are those critical moments. And that's when we feel full. That's Hashem. And then we don't fill ourselves with emptiness. We don't fill the emptiness with more emptiness. We don't fill the emptiness with instant gratification, that once that instant gratification passes, we feel twice as empty, and twice as worse, and twice as low. Because not only do I feel empty, but I know that I made bad choices. And it seems like everything that I pretended was meaningful yesterday, I now remember as meaningless today. And I draw myself lower and lower and lower. Instead of raising myself higher and higher and higher. And I assume that's what he's going to say, it's the second half of the Pasuk. He says that's what Nefesh Sava Tavos Nofet. He's the person who said, honeycombs, I don't need honey, I have Torah. I have Nigunim, I have Chesed, I have Tefillah. And you, you crush the honeycomb while you're running to the Beit Knesset. You crush the honeycomb while you're running to the Beit Knesset. you don't even notice that you stepped on it. Who needs it? Who needs it? But for the soul that's hungry, everything that's bitter looks sweet. That's what he's saying here in the next line, The last word on the line is Tavo, and he says, what is Tavo no fit? He'll trample on the honeycomb that like we said us, he says, no. Well, he, he's not done yet. He says, no fish who? He says what is no, like we said, no is a honeycomb. So what is a honeycomb? No fish is dvo. D is honey in Hebrew, and he says, what is Dria? Isha? He says, V is the same RIA as a woman. This goes in both directions, obviously, right? He says that It's so easy when you feel empty. And again, that's the deepest feeling of emptiness. Real emptiness is I feel empty and I feel disconnected, isolated, alone. So what do I run towards? If I want to fill it with instant gratification, I'll take whatever I can find. I just want to find some any girl who will look at me and make me feel like I'm worth something on the flip side, any guy who will pay attention to me if I can get them just and it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what I have to do. I'll wear what I have to wear. I'll talk what I have to talk to do. I just want to know that somebody thinks that I'm worth something. But if a person goes out like that, a guy or a girl where all they want is that somebody should think that I'm worth something. It means that they're putting themselves out there in a way where they're putting themselves out as being worthless when they're worth so much. They're putting themselves out as being worthless. And so, a person who's spiritually fulfilled, that sweetness, that honey, of, of Arayos, I'm not interested. I have the deepest relationship there is on the, on the face of the planet. in the universe! In existence! And if I'm married, I have my wife, I have my husband, and if I'm not married yet, I'm committed to finding my bashert, and I want to be that person for my bashert. And I have a keresh boruchu until I find that person. And when I find that person, those are the only two beings I'm going to be committed to because they're the only two relationships that have the deepest level of meaning. Friends are meaningful, of course, parents are meaningful, and siblings are meaningful, of course. But the two deepest relationships there are. Don't even tempt me, I'm not interested. I have no connection to such a thing. Divash? That's not really sweet. It's artificial sweetener. I'm not interested in artificial sweeteners. I don't need it. I don't need the honey. No, Honey was not allowed to be put into Korbanos.'cause it's not real.'cause it's not real. And in Kaha there's only real, that's the whole point. ka ayin va efesh, vaefes. Can you imagine, to hold onto that perspective, that when you have that ness, when you have that light, when you have that connectivity, when you're filled spiritually, all of the physical desires in the world. And hopefully everybody who's listening to this, whether you're here with us on Zoom or you're listening on the podcast, you've hopefully at least had moments of your life where you've had that level of clarity. Where you genuinely feel in your kishkas, I don't want any of it. I don't even understand how I ever wanted it. And then a day later you want it again because it's very hard to stay away from those kind of typos. 100%. But you've had at least that moment, that hour, that day, where you're like, I don't even get how I ever wanted this. Because I'm full of ruchnias, I'm full of ruchnias, and I can't even imagine how I'd want something so low. Ach now the flip side, ben nebach lo aleinu, a soul that's empty, a soul that's starving. Misha ha'elyon, a person who in their whole life, and if you're here this is not you, you've at least tasted it. A person in their whole life has never tasted Az titanig al Hashem. Has never tasted what it means to be in God's presence. Has never tasted the sweetness of Torah, the sweetness of Ruch Nias, the sweetness of Dveikos. Re'eva. He says, they're hungry. They're starving. So what did he say so beautifully? In the Siva Shalom. He says, what is Re'eva? He says, if you break up Re'eva into two words, it's ra ba. Then ra comes into such a person. If you're spiritually starving, then there's emptiness and nature abhors a vacuum and ra comes in, and negativity comes in, and instant gratification comes in. Ha'inu she yesh po koach hara, within that person the ra comes in, and it's lo kol mar matok, and everything that's bitter seems sweet. mar bevchinat motzeh ani mar mimavet. even the worst. Bitterness that there is. Even that's sweet for him. What's sweet is bitter and what's bitter is sweet. And can you see it? The depths of my heart and compassion. You see people at their lowest. a person doesn't reach out for meaningless physical relationship. Because they're feeling on a spiritual high. They feel low before, they maybe for a second don't feel low, perhaps, maybe not, don't feel low in the moment and they feel low afterwards. A person, who ends up looking for drugs. Because there's a void and they want to fill it with anything. They can't find meaning and happiness. They don't even know that meaning and happiness exists. And they fill it with drugs to artificially get to a place of happiness. If I can't get high, so I'll find some way to get artificially high. And then you drop back down. These are things that are bitter. These are things that are deadly. to a person. They only make you feel lower and more meaningless. And like life has less purpose, you feel lower and lower and lower. You look at people who are quote unquote the most successful people in the world. There was an amazing line, without getting into any of the details, it's so not worth it, it's not the time. There was a, highly renowned studio executive in the entertainment world. who a few years ago, all of her emails basically got dumped onto the internet, which you can imagine went very well for her. Um, so all of the dirt was dumped on the internet, and she was basically done. So at that point, there was no need to filter anything. And I remember hearing this quote from her, and this was after this happened. She was interviewed on a television show. I remember hearing this quote from her, which like, shocked me. Because she didn't know, why filter? Everything's out there. And you think, who are the people who must be happiest in the world? I mean, we know already that this isn't true, but like, we have to remind ourselves that it's not true from time to time. Right? Actors, actresses, they have everything they want. They have fame, they have fortune, they have tons of money, they have tons of houses, and they have anything that they would ever want. Everything they want! The way that she phrased it was burned into my mind. The studio executive, she said, I will tell you, working with famous actors and actresses is horrible. This was the quote. They're bottomless pits of need. That's how she described them. Can you imagine becoming the thing that everybody in the secular world who doesn't have Torah wants to become? Famous. Rich. You have everything! And the person who looks at you alo The mirror that's held up to you is? You're a bottomless pit of need. You have nothing. You have nothing. That's this pasuk. That's the z'sivot shalom. That's a nefesh reiva. If your soul is ra'ev, if your soul is hungry, if your soul is empty, everything that's bitter is sweet and everything that's sweet is bitter. And if you spend your whole life eating bitter and pretending it's sweet, you can pretend all you want, but Your whole life is miserable. but a sweet Jew sitting in a small apartment in Tel Aviv somewhere, or in Yerushalayim, or in Beit Shemesh, or in the Five Towns, or in Manhattan, or wherever it is that you are, with a small little room just to yourself, but you have Ruch Nias, and you have a Kodesh Baruch Hu. You may think that you're missing out on so much, but remind yourself, you have everything. And the person who you think has everything, has nothing. And would kill to be you. Would kill to have what you have. Because you can't buy it. You can't buy it anywhere. You can learn about it, and you can fight for it, and it's something which money was never gonna change. To have the light of a Kaddish Baruch Hu in your life. You're the richest person in the world, and nothing else matters. Full. You're full in the only way that matters. You didn't even realize that you stepped on their honeycomb when you ran to the shul or the base madrasah, You didn't even realize it was in front of you, but you didn't notice it because who needs it? You have everything that there is. You're fully sated. You're full of goodness. Bottom line on the page. V'zeh Ah, now we'll bring it back to, to our makav choshech. He says, and this is what hakarash baruch hu said to Moshe Rabbeinu. Natei Raise your hand above the heavens. Bring down the light of Shaim. Through this, there's gonna be darkness in ra. Meaning what did Mosha draw down? He drew down the light of Shaim. He drew down the light of truth. And when the light of MS in the light of Shama, in light of AK Burko hit Egypt, Egypt froze. They couldn't see anything. Their life was pain. For those three days, they saw the lie that they thought was the meaning of their life. Rine is the land of s, of RAs, of instant gratification of meaninglessness. They saw the light of God, and they froze. The light got flicked on and they couldn't see a thing. They lived in the light of a KO that you could feel and touch. And for them it was darkness that was made darkness on for those who were immersed in tva in desire, there was nothing darker for them than the light on high. And what is, what's the flip side of that? The darkness came down and there was light for the Jews, wherever they were. What does that mean? The beauty of it is, is the same thing for the Jews who in their, their whole lives in Miran, they were just desperately searching for a q looking for the, or a, it's not that The miracle was that God brought darkness to the Egyptians and light to the Jews. The light of Shemayim came down and that same light was darkness for the Mitzrayim and that same light was light for the Jews. There was no difference. That's the most soul shattering reality. When you realize that Mitzrayim wasn't even being punished. God just let his light out. God said, bring my light down. Let's see what happens. He didn't give light to the Jews and darkness to the Mitzrayim. He just brought out his light. And for the Mitrim, they realized what reality was. They realized that their whole life was about Taivas. They realized their whole life was about Orayos. They realized their whole life was about meaninglessness and instant gratification. And for the Jews, all there was was life. And they didn't even know, I wonder if they even knew what was going on. They probably, they'd be like, what's wrong with the Mitrim? Why are they, why are they stuck? Why can't they see anything? Why are they blind? What's happening to them? I don't understand. Why would they? Why can't they move? I don't even know. All I see is light. All I see is light. It wasn't a lack of darkness. It was this light that was totally new that had never been seen before. And he continues to unpack that point through the rest of the piece. I don't want to go over time. So a few tremendous things to take away from this. First of all, just so beautiful on a Peshat level to read these makos. And to recognize that by all the makos, it's not that a Qadosh Baruch is punishing one and doing good for the other. And that's a beautiful explanation also. But that what HaKadosh Baruch Hu is doing is just revealing Emes. He's revealing truth. It's so much, to me, so much of a more meaningful way to live. Instead of obsessing over, is God going to punish me for this, or give me a present for that, is he going to give me a smack for this, or a lollipop for that, Like, why? And the answer is no. Hu, Chultamot The Gemara tells us the signature of HaKadosh Baruch Hu is truth. Olam Abaz, Olam Ha'emes. To lead a life of Emes, to recognize that it's all about Emes. When Akash Baruch Hu brought down the plagues, the same plague was pain for the Egyptians and was endless pleasure and delight for the Jews. But it was the same thing, because who we are defines our reality. The perspective that we spend our life forging determines how we see this world and how we see the next world. If we see this world is upside down. Then we'll be on our feet in Olam Haba. And if we allow ourselves to be tricked and see this world is right side up, then when we get up to Ra'iti, it'll look like an upside down world. If we relate to the trees as right side up here, we're going to miss the point. If we see on Tu B'Shvat, which we'll talk about more in the coming weeks, if we see the trees as being upside down, if we see the Shefa and the truth is coming down from Shemaim to this world, then when we get to Olam Haba, that's what we're going to live. We're going to have life. We're going to draw from the source of life in this world and the next. It's beautiful by the Makos and for life. It's so hard, especially in the generation that we live in. We live in a generation where there's The concept of dialogue has broken down where meaningful discourse continues to break down where we're all hearing soundbites and echo chambers. And that's all that we have is endless soundbites and only in our echo chambers. And we would say, no, I'm not in an echo chamber. And of course you would think you're in an echo chamber. That's how an echo chamber works. You don't even realize that you're there because from all sides, you're hearing the same thing. we don't talk anymore. I was talking about this with somebody very close to me today. we don't, we don't, we don't talk anymore. We can't hear other sides anymore. We can't have other perspectives. We don't have access to other perspectives anymore. Torah is the only perspective that matters. And as a generation that's being taught to simply follow that which we keep hearing on rinse and repeat, it's so much harder for us, but so much more meaningful to us to open ourselves up to the fact that there is a greater truth out there. There is objective truth. To have the humility to say, I know I don't have it. I speak for myself. I don't have objective truth, because anything that I see from my own subjective perspective is subjective and it's false. And to spend my life running after, running after, all I want, all I'm thirsty for, all I'm hungry for, all I want to be filled by, because it's the only thing that's meaningful to be filled with. It's the objective truth of Akadosh in a relationship with him. And if I have that, I'm living in Olam Haba in Olam Ha'azeh. I'm seeing the light of Akadosh Baruch Hu in the future right now. I'm living in light in this world of darkness. And when I get to the world of light, I can see that Akadosh Baruch Hu is standing there with his arms open and I can open up my arms and hug him back. bimazaka, all of us, that we should have the humility to be open to the truth of Torah, especially when it comes into conflict with our own preconceived notions and our own agendas and our own ways of thinking and our own perspectives. To be able to drink in and to make part of ourselves ultimate objective truth. Through that, to see the light of godliness, that oar from beyond the Shemaim that Moshe Rabbeinu brought down on this ninth plague of Choshech, to be able to see that in our lives in Olam HaZeh, and to be able to enjoy it, to be ne'enem miziv HaShchina in Olam HaZeh, and then ultimately in Olam thank you so much for tuning in to this week's episode. Join us every Wednesday for a new episode on the Parsha. Once again, thank you to this week's sponsor. And a reminder that you, too, can sponsor an episode of the podcast. 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