Living Up to Sinai: Achieving Holiness (Mishpatim)

In this episode on Parshat Mishpatim we are going to discuss what it means to be "A kingdom of priests and a holy nation." God tells us this is what we need to aspire to in order to receive the Torah. But what does kadosh, holy, really mean? Why is kedusha so central to being a Jew and entering into a conversant with God? How can I achieve kedusha myself? Well get into all of that and more in this episode!  

If you want to follow along in the text, it is Nesiovs Shalom on Shemot page kuf ayin zayin (177). You can find a pdf of the piece here.

This episode is sponsored anonymously with the following message: "It is in honor of Rav Charnoff's incredible impact on my religious journey and so many other Lev HaTorah talmidim. It is also in memory of my grandfather, Rav Shneur Avraham ben HaRav Yosef, whose 4th yurtzeit is this week." Thank you so much to this week's generous sponsor!

If you would like to sponsor an episode of the podcast, please email Rabbi Charnoff at rabbicharnoff@gmail.com.

Transcript

Rabbi Charnoff: 0:02

Hello, everyone! This is Rabbi Robbie Charnoff, and you are listening to the Chassidus for Life podcast. The podcast where we learn a deep Chassidic insight on the parasha every single week, and not only gain a new understanding of an aspect of the parasha, but explore how it can lead us to a more meaningful, vibrant, and spiritually uplifted life. In this episode, we are going to dive into parashat Mishpatim, the second half of the parashiot on Matan Torah. God says that to receive the Torah, we need to be a goi kadosh, a holy nation. What does the word kadosh, holy, really mean? Why is Kedusha so central to being a Jew, and how can I achieve it in my own life? We'll get into all that and more today. If you want to follow along inside, you can open up a Nasiv to page Kuf Ayin Zayin, and the piece entitled Yunli, or simply go to the show notes for a link to a PDF. But, feel free to just sit back, listen, and enjoy the ride. Most people do. This episode is sponsored anonymously with the following message. It is in honor of Rav Charnov's incredible impact on my religious journey and so many other Lev HaTorah Tambidim. It is also in memory of my grandfather, Rav Schneier Avram bina Rav Yosef. Whose fourth year site is this week? Ma n Aaliyah. Thank you so much to this week's anonymous sponsor. Your sponsorships are what make this podcast happen. If you would like to sponsor an episode of the podcast, please email Rabbi chernoff@gmail.com or see the show notes for more details. All right, with that, let's jump into Parshat Mishpatim. We are in the Sivu Shalom on Parshat Mishpatim on page Kuf Ayin Zayin, the An Shei Kodesh Tihiyun Li. He starts off by quoting that pasuk, the An Shei Kodesh Tihiyun Li. You shall be a holy people to me. Ita b'mechelta, it says in the Mechelta, Rebbe Yishma el Omer, k'sha'atem kidoshim, hare'atem sheli. Something very powerful, it seems posh it on the surface, I'm sure we're going to go deep into it, and it's clearly based on the Pasuk. Rebbe Yishmael says, When you make yourselves kadosh, then you become mine. That the way we become HaKadosh Baruch Hu, is when we're mekadesh ourselves. and obviously today we're gonna have to try to unpack on some level, we'll spend many times on this over the course of our learning of this oum. What is this concept of du? The Is in the puk. what is focusing in on the Suk is it says the kodesh, so it seems extraneous to say. Be kadosh, be a people who's kadosh. Alkein mifareish, the anshei kodesh, therefore Rabbi Yishmael is understanding the pasuk to mean the anshei kodesh. Im tiyu anshei kodesh, if you be a people of kidushah, then as a result, tihiyun li. Then you will be to me, as to you, Shelly, to you, Divukim, Ba HaShem Yippurach. You'll be clinging to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. V'al derech zeh yishtzefareysh ha ne'emar bidvar HaShem kodem kabalat ha Torah. And based on this, we can understand the words of HaKadosh Baruch Hu before Matan Torah, where he says, V'atem tiyu li mamlechet kohanim v'goy kadosh. And you shall be to me, a kingdom of priests and a holy people. Shegam kan, so to hear. Tevat li, miyuteret lech ora. It also seems extraneous. Sheyad dai be'omro v'atem tiyu mamlechet kohanim v'goy kadosh. Just say you should be a kingdom of priests and a holy people. What is this li? You shall be to me. Elo ha'kavana. Va'atem tiyu li, you will be to me. Im ritsumchem li hiyot sheli, if you want to be connected to me, if you want to be mine, if you want to cling to me, says the Kaddish Baruch Hu. Aleichem liyot kadosh. Then it's upon you to be a kingdom of kohanim and a people of Kiddusha. As to you, SHA then you will become to me. Now, what is this phrase itself even mean to be a kingdom of Kohanim? What is that supposed to mean? How do we be a kingdom of Kohanim? Rai? Rashi explains Kohanim priests who are serving. The Hainu meaning, Ki haKadosh Baruch Hu bachar liYisrael, liyot ha'am ha'nivchar, that HaKadosh Baruch Hu chose klal Yisrael, as His chosen people. Ve'amar la'hem and said to them, Va'tem tiyu li mamlechet kohanim, you should be to me a kingdom of kohanim. Mivuchar ha'anushiyut. The chosenness of all peoples. Anshei Rom, meaning people who are on a high level. Anshei Rom ha ma'ala, people of a tremendous level. shayahut lidvarim pichutim u'shvalim. People on such a high level that you have no connection. There's no relationship between you and things that are lowly, Top of the next page. The also to be a a people of holiness. What does that mean when it comes to ka are warned many, many times in the Torah. So many times we're encouraged by the Torah to be a people of Kaa, to sanctify ourselves. in Parshat Kedoshim alone, it has three warnings about Kedusha these aren't on specific mitzvah that are given in the Torah, rather on this all-encompassing mitzvah, this all-encompassing concept of Kade, of sanctifying ourselves within the realm of that which is permitted, which we'll come back to and explain in a moment at the end of the paragraph. But it warns us about this many times. Because Kedusha is like, it's a condition that a Kodesh Baruch who enters in with us. t'yuu li, k'shet t'yuu mamlechet kohanim uv'char ha'eneshiyut v'goy kadosh. When are you going to be to me? When are you mine? When you become a kingdom of kohanim, the chosenest of all peoples? You become, to me, for a Jew, for a Jew is a prerequisite for Judaism itself, that it's dependent upon the amount of CAA that that person has attained. What is he saying here? What's the concept of Kedusha about? So hopefully over our learning in the coming weeks, months, and hopefully years, we'll continuously try to go deeper and deeper into the concepts of Kedusha. But he's linking it to this concept of Kadesh atzmecha b'mutar lecha. To sanctify ourselves in the realm of that which is permitted to us. The example, that I like to use, is in the realm of food. So when it comes to the realm of food, You have on the first level the things which are not permitted. You have your mi what's your mi vae, so you're not allowed to eat food that's not kosher. I need to make sure that my food is not, not kosher. Great. I fulfilled the lote. I'm not being over an issue. I'm not eating food. S that's tra. Then I have mi vae, there's many MI to say, but one aspect of MI to say is I have to say Aha before I eat the food. So I go and I make sure that my food is kosher. I take the food in my hand and I say, aha, Ana. And then after that bracha's over, technically speaking, according to Shulchan Aruch, There's no active mitzvah in play at that time. During the entirety of my eating from the moment that I say the bracha rishonah, until I finish eating and say the bracha achronah, in terms of the actual eating itself, there isn't much in terms of halacha to be concerned with. So what happens at that point? So then, there's two options. On the one hand, a person can say, Okay, great, I did my mitzvahs, I was yotzeh, I'm good to go. But there's a whole other level. That's the level of now that I'm in the realm of the Muttar, I want to sanctify myself within this reality of that which is permitted. Meaning, I don't have to focus on a Kadesh Baruch Hu. I have no mitzvah to be concerned with, But what I'm going to do, the opportunity that I now have, is to focus on a Qadosh Baruch Hu despite the lack of obligation. Why? Because I love him. Because I care about him. Because he's all that I can think about. Because all I want is a relationship with him. So even though there's nothing forcing me to think about him right now, so what? All I can do is think about him. All I want to do is think about him. I'm only thinking about a Qadosh Baruch Hu. What foods would he want me to choose and what he want me to eat? When would he want me to eat? How would he want me to eat? When I take a bite, that every single burst of flavor that I have, I give holdah to HaKadosh Baruch Hu and the tremendously delicious foods that he made. So many levels, some of which we talked about last week in our discussion of Vachila by Tobi Shvat in last week's episode. But there's so many ways to elevate that. We could talk the entire rest of this year just on ways that you could elevate. Eating in the realm of kadesh atzmecha b'mutar. But the fundamental principle here is, and we'll see how we develop it as we keep going in the piece, is that when we enter into the realm of mutar, when there no longer is a specific obligation on us, is do we choose to focus on hakadosh barochu or not? That's what defines my level of kedusha. Let's get rid of words like sanctity and holiness and understand that kedusha is on a whole nother level. It's so much deeper than those empty English words. It means to completely dedicate myself singularly to a Kadesh Baruch Hu. The same way that a person enters into Kedushin. what's being said is, Hareyat mikudeshat li. Hareyat mizumanat li, says havei li liintu. That the concept of Kedushin is, is that you're separating yourself away from anyone else. This woman now says for the rest of time, I am singularly committed to and connected to you. And the husband is saying, I'm singularly connected to and committing myself to you to the exclusion of all other things. When something is made hektes, to the beta mikdash, it belongs to the beta mikdash, to the exclusion of anybody and anything else. It's only belongs to the beta mikdash. It's an exclusive one on one relationship. To achieve a level of kedush is to say, Akadosh Baruch Hu, I am exclusively connected to you, to the exclusion of all other things. Even hear the language, right? Hareh amikudeshet li. It's the same word that he was emphasizing previously in the piece. Kedoshim to you li. You should be kadosh to me. And the more that you're kadosh to me, the more that you're connected to me. The more you're committing yourself to me, the more connected we are. The more you commit yourself to me, dafka in those moments, when there's no mitzvah, then I see that you're truly, committed to me. That you really want a relationship with me. Because, okay, it could be that you're fulfilling the mitzvot lo taseh, the mitzvot maaseh. Why? You're afraid of Gehennaim, you want olam haba, you want tz'khar for yourself. It could be that it's all about you. And, it's not a bad thing if a person begins doing Torah and mitzvot because they want to fulfill ratzon hashem so that they do get olam haba. That's a good place to start. But that's really just the place to start. Because if by the end of my life, the only reason why I'm doing mitzvot is because I want to get olam haba and I want eternal joy. It's all about me. And so then it isn't shocking that the second the mitzvot fall away And I no longer have to deal with the non kosher food, I no longer have to deal with the bracha, who am I thinking about? Me, because I was thinking about me the whole time. It was really an act of self service the entire time from beginning to end. And Gedusha says no, Gedusha is a revelation of who I truly am inside. What I'm truly committed to. Am I committed to me? To my own selfish pursuits? Or am I committed to a kodesh baruchum? And in that moment when I pick up that bite of food, which is so tasty and so delicious, And I have nothing to worry about anymore. I know that it's kosher. I said my bracha. I'm totally focused on HaKadosh Baruch Hu because it was always about you the entire time. Now it's revealed, the reason why I picked that food over the other food is because it would give me more energy to serve you HaKadosh Baruch Hu. The reason why I'm eating this way is because I'm doing it for you HaKadosh Baruch Hu. All I want to do is to give you Hodah for the beautiful food that you gave me. All I want to do is to serve you with greater energy and joy and simcha. That's why I'm eating what I'm eating. And that's revealed in that moment of kadesh atzmecha b'mutar. When I sanctify myself in those moments where it's mutter, where there's only in the realm of the permitted, that reveals who I am. Has it always been about you? Or deep down, has it always been about me? Has it been a selfish pursuit? Or the selfless pursuits of love of the Kadesh Baruch Hu? And back to the beginning of the piece here, we'll see how he opens it up, but he's clearly going to talk about these issues because I learned all about this from him. To the extent that I make myself kadosh, To the extent that I make myself for him, he makes himself to me. Where two of us are one, the two of us are united, the two of us are bonded, the two of us are one. That's the critical question of Kedusha. That's the question that we're opening up here in Matan Torah. This is in the context of Matan Torah. What does it take to be a Jew? What does it take to receive the Torah? What does it take to stand under the chuppah of Har Sinai with a Kadesh Baruch Hu? And accept becoming wed to a Kadesh Baruch Hu? This am I committed to you, to the exclusion of all other things. All other relationships, all other taivas, all other midos, all other issues that I have, all other hangups, all other agendas, to the exclusion of all of those things. Can I give all that up and I'm just focused on you? All I want to do is serve you, be connected to you, be davuk to you. Then I go to Sprokel says I'm right here with you. Then we're davuk to each other, we're connected to each other. So let's see how he opens this up a little bit. Next paragraph. B'nei b'azarot harabot ala kiddusha, anu motz'im b'siumam. We see when it comes to many of these warnings to be kadosh, at the end it says because I, it says two times, I am your God and you should make yourself. And because I am all over when we get to after every single mitzvah says, because I am Kosh. I am Kadosh. I am Asha, your God. Again and again and again. Umash ma shezehu ataham likdushim tiyu. And it seems to imply that this is the reason given why we need to be kadosh. Vahaynyan vazeh alpima de'ita v'sfarama kedoshim. And what this means, how to understand this as it says in the sfarama kedoshim. Ki tachlita torah. Vi the goal of the Torah and the goal of a is that a Jew should get to a place of being. To cling to the source is a wild thing, which is that all 613 mitz votes. All 613, they're all 613 ways, pathways, streams, that are all going to the core central mitzvah of Uvot Tidbaq. That's the key mitzvah. That's the main mitzvah. Those of you who in other contexts have learned Derech Hashem with me, or if you've learned Derech Hashem on your own. He talks about how the whole goal of reality is to get to the D'Veikos. HaKadosh Baruch Hu creates the world in order to give us good, and the best good He can give is D'Veikos. So if you understand from Derech Hashem that that's the ultimate goal, of course that's true. HaKadosh Baruch Hu created the world only to give goodness, and the greatest goodness is D'Veikos with HaKadosh Baruch Hu. That's the greatest goodness. And so, all of the mitzvot that we have are all to get us more and more dvikus. The key mitzvah, the singular mitzvah, is to cling to Agadosh Baruch Hu, because there's no greater goodness than that, and all that He wants is to give us goodness. And that's all these are that what does it say at the end of each one? Because I am Hashem your God. Because when you become Kado, you become mine. Because the concept ofs and as is dependent primarily on this concept of. And the only way that you can truly achieve that dveikos is if you sanctify yourselves and you become kadosh. Which again, builds into everything that we talked about. If you commit yourself to me, then HaKadosh Baruch Hu says, All I want to do is be connected to you. I created the entire universe just to cling to you, just to connect to you, just so you could cling to me and connect to me. That's why I created everything. I was doing just fine on my own. But I created everything for one goal, one reason. All I want is for you to experience the goodness of what it means to cling to me. That's all that I want. but it's so much more elevated when it comes from your free will choices. When you choose that, when you go and try to transform every moment of your life into that relationship with me, into that connection with me, into that exclusive relationship with me. The Rambam, when he talks about Avat Hashem. He talks about, it's wild to see the Lashon of the Rambam, the great rationalist. He was a great rationalist, but he also had tremendous heart. You read the Rambam carefully, you see there was tremendous heart to the Rambam, of course there was. And when he talks about the mitzvah of Avat Hashem in the context of Hilchot Shuvah, he talks about how a person needs to be lovesick for HaKadosh Baruch Hu. When you're eating, you're thinking about HaKadosh Baruch Hu. When you're drinking, you're thinking about HaKadosh Baruch Hu. When you're sleeping, you're thinking about HaKadosh Baruch Hu. You're dreaming about HaKadosh Baruch Hu. It's all for HaKadosh Baruch Hu, the whole thing. if you've ever been in a relationship, we'll give a silly example first, but you've ever been in a relationship, you know, where you've had a really big crush on somebody and you know how that is when you're just totally mentally obsessed with that person and you're sitting down to eat and you have a plate of food and you're like, Uh, you know, would she like this? I think she would like this. And especially like if I edit this, or I spice it this way, or I, I change it a little bit that way. Oh, she would, and this drink, wow. I gotta get one for the next time I go see her. she would love this, it's amazing. and you walk by a store window and you don't even see anything but like, she would love that, maybe I should get that for her, maybe that could be a birthday gift. Maybe, maybe I should take her here next time. All you're doing is thinking about the other person. You go to sleep, she's on your mind. You wake up, she's on your mind. Right? and that, that's just when you have a crush on a person. Right? That's when you're in high school or you're in, you're in your early 20s, you have a crush on somebody. But you have that experience of what it means to have that obsessive thought about another person. And that's not even coming from a place of love. Love only exists after one is in the context of marriage. Calvacomer when a person's in a marriage and the reason why it's, I think, useful to use the example of a crush is because there's a very strong emotional feeling when we're in that space at that time of life, when a person is in that mental space of just constantly thinking about that one person to the exclusion of all other things. That type of obsessive thinking. When you start to get into a relationship with a spouse, you're changing things a little bit. Because then that actually requires work. When you move out of this burst of inspiration and connectivity that comes at the end of the dating process and into the beginning of the marriage, and then you settle in and now suddenly you have to put work into the relationship. What would she like? What would she want? Am I working on myself to constantly be thinking about her? And what would she want? I'm always, we'll see if we leave this in the podcast. I'm always trying to figure out what my wife would want for a gift. I'm not good with gifts at all. I'm terrible at it. And so she mentioned Over Shabbos, that my mother had brought her a piece of cake from some like dairy free, gluten free bakery that exists somewhere near the Shuk in Yerushalayim. And I'm like Shabbos, I can't write anything down. I'm desperately taking mental notes because her birthday's coming up in a month. Oh, I gotta somehow figure out how to get to Yerushalayim. I remember where the place is. I remember what she has to cross. are you thinking about the other person all the time? What can I do to make Erev Shabbos a little bit easier? if I hear that she's stressed out, what can I do to lessen the burden of her being stressed out? I'm thinking about her. And it's a, it's a different depth. In the context of a marriage, the depth changes. It's not this, again, what we call this sense of love that you have when you fall in love with someone. And I would question if that's love. I don't think Torah thinks that it's love. But we certainly use that in a secular context. But then when you get to the real love of marriage, you have to put in to constantly be thinking about the other person and remain connected to them and always thinking about them. When you're eating, when you're drinking, when you're awake, when you're asleep. It's all about how do I make it about the other person? How do I give to the other person? Why am I talking so much about crushes and marriages? Because that's the relationship we're supposed to have with the Kaddish Baruch Hu. That's the relationship we're supposed to have. And at the beginning of that relationship, hopefully at some point in your life, you've experienced that burst of inspiration when you realize in a deep level, in a deep way that you haven't before, how Kaddish How could I not be serving him all the time? I want to learn all of Shulchan Aruch tomorrow, and I want to read all of Tanakh tomorrow, and I want to be at Bucky and Shas by next week, and you have this huge burst of inspiration where you're constantly seeing Avot Hashashan everywhere. And then what happens? You go to sleep and wake up the next day and you wonder where it all went. That burst of inspiration doesn't really stay. You enter into a marriage with a Kadesh Baruch Hu, and that's our Parsha, Parsha Mishpatim. We stand under Harsinah, and we say Naseh V'Nishmah, and we accept the Torah, which is the Ketubah, and we enter into a marriage with a Kadesh Baruch Hu. That's where the real work of a real relationship comes. The Rambam describing what it means to be lovesick for a V'Shol Moaleinu, he's not talking about some guy who's, you know, got a crush on this girl who passed it by in the street. He's not talking about some girl who saw some, you know, cute yeshiva boy walk out of the mirror. That's not who he's talking about. That's not what he's trying to describe. What's amazing is that if you understand the Rambam deeply and think about it for a second, the love that he's describing that Ahavat Hashem should be is in the context of a marriage with the work that's put in and yet still, or I would say, Dafka because the work was put in. Yes! He's thinking about her all the time. When he eats, when he sleeps, when he's awake, when he's out in the store, when he's walking down the street. He's always thinking about his wife. She's always thinking about her husband. And that takes a tremendous amount of work. And the paradigm for our relationship with the Kadesh intense way that we have in Olam HaZeh. is a relationship with a spouse, but that's meant to be a dogma for how we relate to Akadosh Baruch Hu. Yes, you are supposed to be lovesick for Akadosh Baruch Hu. Yes, at the very least, the same way that you obsessively think about that girl you have a crush on, or the boy you have a crush on, yes, you should be thinking about Akadosh Baruch Hu. And Kava Chomer, if you're in a marriage, the radiance of Akadosh the light and the connectivity. Where does that come from? Olam Haba is called Olam Ha'emes. It's the world of truth. Where does that come from? To the extent that you cling to HaKadosh Baruch Hu in this world, to that exact extent will you cling to HaKadosh you commit your whole being and your whole life and cling to Him here, then when the veil of this world is ripped away, what happens? Suddenly, you're standing before a Kadesh Baruch Hu and you're clinging to him, you're holding on to him in Olam Haba, the same way you were in Olam Haza, but now you're actually feeling what that means in a whole different way. But you're the same person with the same dveikus, with everything you earned here. You obsessively think about a Kadesh Baruch Hu here, you're already in the right mindset and you're clinging to him once Olam Haba comes. But the goal isn't for Olam Haba, it's not for the Torah, it's because all you want to do is cling to him. All you want to do is connect to him. All you want to do is be thinking about him. And the more that I do that, the more that I bring that into my life, the more that I make myself exclusively for HaKadosh Baruch Hu. To that extent, I'm BeKadosh myself. I'm living Kedusha. No more sanctity, no more holiness. I'm Kadosh. I'm Kadosh. When I'm living a life of Kedusha, it's a life of Deveikos in Olam HaZeh and Olam HaBak. And that's what we're entering into. we're committing to, that's what we're committing to HaKadosh Baruch Hu at the Chuppah of Harsinai in this week's Parsha. And that's a lifetime's worth of work. It doesn't happen in a day. It doesn't happen in a week. It doesn't happen in a year. It happens. If you're a Zoha in a lifetime of constantly bringing a Kadesh Baruch Hu more and more and more, more deeply, more deeply, more deeply into our choices. To selflessly commit ourselves, even in the moments where there aren't mitzvot, to HaKadosh Baruch Hu, where I'm automatically thinking about Him, because what else is there to think about? What else is there to think about? Me? I'm nothing. My taifas? They're shtiot. All I'm thinking about is HaKadosh Baruch Hu. That's the goal. That's what we're committing to strive for at Matan Tor. To be Mamlekat Kol Hanim V'Goy Kadosh. Next paragraph. And another place it's brought down that, which it says in the with relation to that, which it says in terms of learning. Tara Star Learning Cabala. that a person should always have the following tube in their mouth, the to do that, which is straight and good in the eyes of God. And the puzzlic vidashim to you. That's what a person needs to always have in his mouth. the Torah is a book of 613 mitzvot. You can obsessively focus on the mitzvot. You can spend your whole life learning Shekharach. And you need to know what to do In the other shiurim that I have on Chumash, we have a shiur in parashat Tadkhanat the title is Hashem, do that which is straight and good in the eyes of God. And I recommend that shiur highly to just understand what this pasuk is coming to teach. But the whole Torah, what the whole Torah is about, is not just the mitzvot. We can't possibly serve a Kaddish Baruch Hu properly if we don't do it through the mitzvot. It must be through the mitzvot. That's the way where he defines Avod Has Hashem. But a Kaddish Baruch Hu's not looking for a bunch of robots. He wants Ov Dei Hashem. He wants people who serve him. The example that I always like to give, I've been giving it for years at this point, but I love to give this example, is that Yaharik Val Ya'avor, a husband must come home on Friday afternoon. must come home with flowers. If he doesn't come home with flowers, he may as well not come home for Shabbos. Right? When you get married, It's in the fine print on the bottom of the ketubah. You're gonna bring flowers home every Erev Shabbos, for your wife every week at the end of the week. So I'm doing it for a bunch of time when I was first married, and my wife eventually shared with me, I don't really like the flowers. I said, why? Tell like, why don't you like the flowers? So for her, the stress of me coming home, and then her having to snip the bottom of the flowers, and then filling the vase, and putting in the water, and then remembering before they start going bad in a few days, that she needs to take them out, and throw them out, and wash the vase. It's just like, I like flowers, but it's not worth it to me. And can you imagine coming home the next week with flowers? In this fictional example, my wife looks at me and goes, Why did you bring flowers? I told you I don't want flowers. Because when I took chassen classes, I learned that you must come home with flowers every Friday and I'm not going to miss it. Like, you're totally missing the point. You're in a relationship that's dynamic. And so you have to understand what that means. So what Kodesh Baruch Hu says, this is the way to serve me. You don't make up how you serve me. You don't tell me how I want to be served. I'm telling you this is what I want. But then to understand me through that, connect with me through that, care about me through that. What did that mean for me? It means that sometimes when we have guests, so sometimes they'll come on Erev Shabbos, and in a very beautiful way, they'll come and they'll bring flowers on Shabbos starts. If a guest ever comes and brings flowers, I run, I snip the bottoms, I grab the vase, I put them in, and the second after Shabbos I them, because I know that's what stresses her out. Because I'm hearing what's beyond the letter of the law. Because I care about the person that it's coming from. You can't undermine the letter of the law when it comes to a Kadesh Baruch Hu. He defines what is Avodah Sashem. He does, not you. that's the classic distinction and a very beautiful and important distinction. Between something, it's, it's so crazy when you think about it. That one of the biggest sins that we ever did was the Ekel Azav. How could you create a golden image and use that in your Avodah Hashem? What's wrong with you? I'll tell you what to do. Instead, make two cherub angels and put them on top of the Aaron. They're both figures made out of HaKadosh Baruch Hu. What's the difference? So there are worlds of difference. But on a simple level for us right now, what's the difference? One, HaKadosh Baruch Hu commanded, And one he didn't. And Parshat Kittisa, coming up in a few weeks, he doesn't command us to make an Egel. He gets very angry with us when we decide I want to serve you with an Egel. But I don't want to be served with an Egel. That's not how I want to be served. And then when you get to Parshat, Vayakhel Every single time it says K'asher tziva'ah Hashem et Moshe, K'asher tziva'ah Hashem et Moshe, emphasizing, yes, you're making a physical thing, but it's exactly what I asked you to do. that's the fundamental reason why it's good. that's the fundamental reason why it's Avodah Hashem, because I commanded you. Yes, and because of that, there's infinite layers of meaning. Infinite layers of meaning. In terms of what those Kuvim are, and what the Aaron is, and what the Shulchan is, and what the Menorah is, and what the Yisbeach HaKatorah is, Infinite layers of meaning! But it starts with, K'asher tzivah Hashem et Mosheh. It's what He commanded us. We start with the commands, but then I go into the mansion and I say, Okay, why do you want this? How do I elevate this? What is this really about? What does it really mean to be a Jew? In the shirah that I mentioned before that I give on this pasuk, based on my Rebbe Rav Amos, he quotes this pasuk in the context of a halacha called the Dina de Bar Mitzrah. Which basically is that if you go and the example that I'm giving for years, because it was the example that he gave is that if you go and let's say you own a banana field and you want to sell your banana field. So what's the normal thing to do? So you go, I guess, to the local farmer's magazine and you post that you want to sell your banana field and you wait for the person to make the highest bid. And so somebody comes and makes a bid, and you give it to the person with the highest bid. Says the Torah? No. first you offer it to your neighbor. Why do you first offer it to your neighbor? Very simple. Funnily enough, he has a banana field that's right on the other side of the fence of your banana field. It's all one big banana field. There just happens to be a fence in between. And if you were to sell it to him, He just has to take down one fence. He doesn't have to spend so much extra on guarding the field, tending to the field, taking care of the field, running back and forth to opposite sides of town to take care of his field. It makes his life so much easier. People say to me, okay, but I'll be dead. I can sell it to whoever I want. But the Torah says no, Chazal say no, they learn from this passage, no, Hashem, there is halacha, but are you a Jew? Do you care to be a Jew? HaKadosh I taught you to be a loving person, a sensitive person, a caring person. I told you to walk in my ways, to be like me. And if you don't even bother to think about the person you've been next door neighbors to for the last 10 years, 20 years, 30 years, and not even offer him the field first and give him a chance. To be able to make his life so much easier, while still being able to make a bigger Parnassah. V'asitah y'sharvato b'nei Hashem, you've missed the whole point of the Torah. You're so busy learning Shulchan Aruch that you've forgotten what it means to be a Jew. Does it need to be through the mitzvot? Yes. But if you stop at the mitzvot, you haven't gotten to the heart and soul of what the Torah is trying to take you to, of what Avodah HaShem is trying to take you to. That's only one of the two Pesachim that he quotes here, that you're supposed to keep in your mouth always. And Kiddushim to you, which is our topic. Kiddushim to you. If you're sitting in front of Shulchan Aruch, and again, Chassusholam, I keep doubling back because I don't want a Chassusholam to come off as implying that Shulchan Aruch is not important. Shulchan Aruch is the foundation. Halevai, give us all a bracha that we're able to understand and know all of Shulchan Aruch backwards and forwards and keep it in our lifetimes. Halevai, but to think that that's the end of the road in Avodah Sashem. That's the big mistake that we see in so many yeshivas b'zman hazeh, all over the place, all the time. Just trying to learn every single halacha, every single halacha, every single, if I just know every halacha, then I'll be in Evar Hashem. No, then you can start being in Evar Hashem. Then you know what to do, but who is the person who's doing it? Are you a person who's Yashar and Tov? Are you a person who's Kadosh? What do you do if you've learned Shulchan Aruch backwards and forwards and now you're sitting there in front of a plate of food and you have no more brachas to say? Who are you? What do you do? And for most of them the answer is, I have no idea. I just know what to do. I've got the robot part down, but the robot doesn't have a heart. We need to have a heart. We need to have a soul. We need to care, care about each other, and care about a Kadesh Baruch Hu. These are the Pesukim that he says, that the Shomron Muni Maqadmon says to keep in your mouth all the time. Yes, keep the mitzvot, but go beyond the mitzvot, from within them. Beyond the Mitzvah. He continues and says, after all the mitzvah that it says in the Torah, it says These, we have these, which are beyond the Mitzvas themselves. Doing that which is straight and good in the eyes of G d, like we already discussed and gave the background to. That's Do I care about the person who's next to me? Do I care about my neighbor? That I go beyond the letter of the law because I care about my friend. Because I care about the other person. Because I'm a sensitive soul, because the Torah taught me to be sensitive. Because I, because the Kaddish Baruch taught me how to be sensitive and caring. And then kaddoshim tiyu. Dahayinu, kaddesh atzmecha b'mutar. Meaning, sanctify yourself in the realm of that which is mutar. Sh'id kaddesh gam be'inyanim shelo ne'esru batora. To sanctify myself even in those things that are not prohibited by the Torah. I'm always thinking about you, even in those times of Mutar. When I go out to the basketball court, how I go out to the basketball court, how long am I going to go out to play for, that depends on you, Akar Shabaruch. I got very into gym culture lately. And the last time that I went to visit the old city, I sat with one of my mentors. And I spoke to him, I said, I got very into this thing, and I feel so much better, and I feel so much healthier. And I'm doing it in order to elevate my physical body, that it will be strong and healthy. Yom Yiratz HaShem for 120 years, to serve HaKadosh Baruch Hu. But when you get into it, so, how many days a week is appropriate? How many minutes per session is appropriate? And to constantly be thinking about that, it's something I'm constantly struggling with. Because if the goal is that it's for a Kaddish Baruch Hu, I need to make sure to keep my eye on the prize. And the prize is a Kaddish Baruch Hu. And with all of the mirrors in that gym, it's sometimes hard to keep your eye on the prize. Right? You're pushing to go up in weight. You're pushing to go up in reps. You're pushing to at my age, trying to be like the biggest guy in the bed. Like you're pushing for these things because it's a good thing to keep you motivated to get to the next level. But are you losing sight of what the ultimate goal is, which is I'm going to order to make myself strong and healthy for our gutters. What's too much. What's too little. But to ask myself that question, let's say I'm somebody who watches television. stuff on Netflix or whatever it is. Even asking myself, I need half an hour to decompress. Which of these shows is the most appropriate? Which one of Cuddish Broke will say, yeah, you need a half an hour, it's okay, and I approve of that show? And which one do you say, I wouldn't approve of that? When you're picking a show, to think to yourself, which one am I likely to watch an episode, recharge, and then get back to what I need to be doing, and which one, if I'm honest with myself, am I likely to innocently not hit the stop button when it goes on to the next episode for the next five times, and binge for the next six hours? And if I know it's a show that I'm going to binge, then is that a B'or HaSashem anymore? When I'm walking into it, the first time I hit play, then I'm saying I've just killed six hours of my life. Okay, I need half an hour. I'm going to watch for half an hour, and I know that I can watch one episode, I can stop, and I can go back to doing the thing that I wanted to do. Kadei When you're in those moments of mutar, assuming that everything is kosher, assuming that everything is appropriate. Am I thinking about a Kadesh Baruch Honzor? That's the whole point. When I'm doing these things, is God still on my mind? Is he the main thing on my mind? Is it about him, and for him, and with him in mind, and focused on my avodah of him? And let's say that you're in undergrad, or you're in graduate school. You should be thinking about that also in terms of Which classes you choose to take. Am I taking classes that are Hashem? What does that mean? It could mean understanding a Kadosh Baruch Hu's world and having an awe of a Kadosh Baruch Hu's world. It could be, no, a Kadosh Baruch Hu, I need to make parnasah. The only way that I can build a Jewish home and have beautiful Shabbos table and beautiful Shabbos candles and beautiful Shabbos food. The only way that I can send my kids to Jewish day school to give tzedakah, in order to support the shul. The only way I can do it is with Parnassah. And so I'm choosing courses which are going to give me the knowledge that I need to get the degrees that I need to get the job that I need to get Parnassah. On all of that comes Avodah Hashem. But in every area of life, even if I'm in my studies, is it focused on my Avodah Hashem? And even there also to recognize the boundaries. I didn't hear this story directly from the individual. I think it's a public story, but I'm not gonna say his name just in case. There's the head of a seminary who I look up to, and I heard the following story about him. I think he was in finance. And he was doing the thing where you do in finance, where you're keeping late nights, and you're pushing to move up and up and up along the food chain And the way that the story goes, is that he was there late at night, and he saw one of his co workers at a desk a little bit away from him. And the co worker looked at the clock, looked at his screen, looked at a picture of his family. Looked at the clock, looked at the screen, at the picture of his family. And then he went, and he took the picture of his family, and he put it face down against the desk. And then went back to keep working at the screen. And evidently the story goes that that was when he said, I'm out. Then he quit his job, he met Elian, he started his seminary. I don't know how accurate the details of that story are, but that's the point of what we're trying to keep in mind. Meaning again, keeping your eye on the goal. Whether you're choosing classes as an undergrad, or you're picking graduate school, you're picking a profession, all of these things is the ultimate reason underneath it, Avodas HaShem? Because if it is, then every moment that you're engaged in it, it counts as part of your Avodas HaShem. You're doing it for Him. It's Veikas! And if a person leaves God out of the equation, then you could have any reason for doing it, but it's not drawing you closer to what God has borrowed. You could be picking the same courses. You could be playing the same basketball game. you could be lifting the same weights in the gym. You could be watching the same episode of whatever television show it is. You could be doing all those things. I'm not endorsing all those things. I don't think all those things are for everybody. But in your life, you could be doing any of those things and more. But are you doing it for you or are you doing it for God? to be clear, it's a real gut check. You can't just, you know, just with your mouth and not in your heart, say, God, I'm doing this for you and I'm off. No. Is it really for God? Am I really recharging? Am I really doing this for Parnassa for him? another story that I heard that's very similar there was a guy who evidently was very, very smart in Yeshiva and he went to the Rosh Yeshiva of the yeshiva that I went to and the way the story goes. he was standing by the Rosh Yeshiva and he was crying and he said, listen, I know you want me to go to Klo. I know you want me to learn. I just need to make my million. I just need to make my million. And then I'll come on a learning klo. And the guy was a brilliant guy. So the rash Shiva said, fine, go make your million. And then you come back. And a bunch of years later, he was there back in the Rosh Shiva's house. Standing by him crying his eyes out. What was he saying? Just one more million. Just one more million. It's so easy to lose sight of the ultimate goal when we get enmeshed in these things. Just one more episode. Just one more game. just one more set. Whatever it is for you. No, just, I just, I want to pick a job that makes you say one more million. Whatever the thing may be. To remember why you came into it. If you came into Bikidusha, are you maintaining that Kedusha? Maintaining that focus? Are you still standing under Harsinai? Are you still remembering that moment of the wedding? Where you promised that you would be a Mamlechet that everything would be committed to him. You committed to Akadosh Baruch Hu. We were all there! Gemara tells us we were all at Harsinai. Every single one of us. We committed to Akadosh Baruch Hu. Are we still there? Do we still remember that commitment? And are we living that commitment in our lives every minute of our lives? That's Kedusha. We're on the top of the next paragraph. And these two things that a Jew wants to raise himself up onto a higher level of Meaning, to cling to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Alav le'choz bevet inyanim elu. These are the two things that we need to cling to. HaMevi'im Yehudi le'yot davuk pa'Hashem. That bring a Jew to be davuk to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. To cling to HaShem. Inyan va'asita yashar va'atov b'nei HaShem. to do that which is straight and good in the eyes of G d. As Chazal say, When people find a person pleasant, a Kaddish Baruch who has happiness and joy and pleasantness with that person. the surface, what connection is there between the two things? Who cares if other people find me pleasant? I'm an introvert. That's based on a true story. I'm an introvert. I assume most people find me unpleasant. Why should it be that? Because people find me unpleasant. Then I've got to sprinkle shouldn't find me pleasant. The answer is no. I need to work on myself. Then I need to find a way that I can relate to other people in a positive way, to connect to other people, to care about other people. Why are these things dependent upon each other? When other people find a person pleasant and positive and warm and wonderful, it means that that person is living va. They're living from a place of I care, and I'm going above and beyond. I learned it from my Rebbe. Yoel. I learned from him how to give, to give everything. Because he cared. And he taught me that that's what a Jew needs to be. And that's so much of his Torah is talking about how to care about the other Jew the Avodah Hashem of caring about the other Jew Then you're living like a Kaddish Baruch Hu because he cares about every single one of us So we live in godliness. This we become has pleasantness in his joy from such a person is the source the root of hava. The root of that, which is beyond just that which is straight and good beyond the letter of the law. Um, and a person who doesn't have this. he doesn't care about them. He doesn't go above and beyond with them. He sticks to the letter of the law and doesn't show compassion and love. And so too, again, the other side of the coin, the mitzva of. Only by sanctifying yourself can you cling to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. to the extent that you completely commit yourself to HaKadosh Baruch Hu, you already are clinging to Him and He's clinging right back to you. what the Shomer Amunim means when he says, That a person who wants to raise themselves up in Avodas HaShem, Live for these two Psukim. Let's all walk away today from this year, from this Tassiv O'Shalom, with this in mind. To keep this in mind at least for the next day, two days, few days, I'll abide the next week, few weeks. But to start repeating this in our mind, to print it out and put it up on the walls and go over it every single day, to live by these Pesuk Pesukim. Asitah hayashar v'atov b'nei Hashem minkedoshim, to you. These are the guidebooks for life. To learn what to do from Shulchan Aruch, but learn how to be a Jew. To become that Jew, by going through those mitzvot, to go beyond those mitzvot, within the boundaries of those mitzvot, to serve HaKadosh Baruch Hu. by giving to other people, by being compassionate to other people who all have a spark of godliness inside of them. And by clinging to HaKadosh Baruch Hu and our thoughts and actions all the time, that it's all for Him. Sh'ne'emar omnam lega b'ein yanim she'ein aleyhem tzivuyim mifurashim. Aval klulim b'hem arbein yanim. These things have so much within them, this is avodah Hashem. Va'aklal v'chol zeh, and what comes out of all this is, Hu k'mod ikhtiv, ha'yitav be'nei HaShem, She kol pi'ola she'osei yishkol ha'yitav be'nei HaShem, She yudia rotzei la'agia liyut davuk ba'Shem, Al av lishkol fe'ulotav ha'yitav be'nei HaShem. just to explain the context of that puzzle, because it's so beautiful. That puzzle comes from Parsha Tshmini. He It's the back and forth between Moshe and Aaron. Right after none of you die, Aaron is supposed to bring a certain korban and do it in a certain way, and he doesn't. And Moshe comes to Aaron's two remaining sons and says, why didn't you bring it properly? And Aaron comes back and says, I know you're talking to me. I know you're criticizing me. But right now, when I lost my two sons today, I brought the Korbanos that I was supposed to bring. And I brought the Korbanos Brokoh wanted me to bring. And yes, I didn't do everything exactly as you told me to, because I sat here and said to myself, when I just lost two sons today, what does God want me to do? He asks Mosher Abeinu, had I done that? Would that have been good in the eyes of God? And Moshe Rabbeinu's Mekabel, it's an amazing thing, Moshe Rabbeinu loses a halachic argument in Chumash in parashat Shemini. And what does he lose it on the basis of? Moshe Rabbeinu is so, and understandably so, maybe I'm over humanizing it, but I apologize if I am. Moshe Rabbeinu just saw the ramifications of not doing things exactly Kedas v'Kedim in the Mishkan. When somebody did something with the best of intentions in the Mishkan, but didn't do it the way that God wanted, both of them died. Nadav and Avihu died. They brought a Ketorah with tremendous fire and it burned them alive. Thanks. Because HaKadosh Baruch Hu didn't ask for it that way and he goes to Aaron and he's freaking out so to speak, you know, I'm not claiming to understand where Moshe Rabbeinu is at in his internal state But let's imagine he's freaking out Aaron You just lost two sons for not doing things exactly as it says in the book in the letter of the law What are you doing? And Aaron his brother and only Aaron his brother could look back at him and say I understand where you're coming from Moshe And I understand that you have greater clarity than me. I'm the one who lost the two sons yes, you're right in terms of the letter of the law, but ha'yitav b'nei Hashem, is this what God really wants? Because the halachos were only supposed to get us to what a Kadosh Baruch Hu wanted in the first place. And it's more nuanced than that in this case, Moshe Rabbeinu. And I know, I'm the one who lost the two sons. And I'm telling you, this he would wanted me to do, and this is not what he wanted me to do. And Moshe Rabbeinu replies, the last pasuk of that paragraph, Vayishma Moshe, Moshe hears. Because he's open to hearing. He's open to the dialogue. They're having a Chavrusa. Vayitav be'enav. And it was good in his eyes. Because he saw that Aaron was seeing with Godly eyes, that Aaron was seeing with Avodah Hashem eyes, even beyond the limitations of the letter of the law. And that's the puzzic that he's quoting here. Everything needs to be balanced within the context of the halacha. What does God really want? That's the only question. In the beginning of the Sefer Chai Adum, a beautiful Sefer The opening he says so beautifully, what does it mean to be an obed or obedet haShem? And he just distills it to this point. Ask yourself the fundamental question. Does God, yes, want me to do this thing? Or does God not want me to do this thing? What does God want me to do? And to live by that sentence. You live by that sentence halachically, hashkafically, in your mentality, in your mindset. You're striving for and achieving kedusha. What does God want me to do? And there's so many details to the answer to that question But yet at the same time the question is that simple and It always comes back to the simplicity of that question. What does God want me to do? What is hayitav b'nei Hashem? Line here from this paragraph and then we'll finish for today. And a Jew can reach the level of when you're, you are to me. When you're Kadosh, you're mine, and I'm yours. That's what we're striving for. We stand here at Parshat Yitro and Mishpatim, these two halves of Matan Torah. We stand under Harsinai, which is the Chuppah of HaKadosh Baruch Hu. HaKri'ah Me'orera Tazman. We're living in a mini Shavuos, a Shavuos that's being brought about by these Parshat of the Torah. We're standing there with a mountain over our head and a Kadosh Baruch Hu saying I love you. I want to be for you and to you forever. Do you want to be to me? And in Yirtz Hashem, we all say yes, but when we do, we're committing to a lifetime of working on ourselves. To commit ourselves to HaKadosh Baruch Hu, to be Kaddosh, to be a Kaddosh. We should be Zochat, to be able to remember that that's an Avoda that takes place every minute of every day, to work to try to get closer and closer to committing every aspect of ourselves to HaKadosh Atzmecha B'mutar. And through that experience, the depth of D'Veikos with HaKadosh Baruch Hu in Olam HaZeh, That then when we open our eyes in Olam Ha'aba, we're right there already looking at him, clinging to him, connected to him, for all of eternity. That's how it's done by all of us. Thank you so much for tuning in to this week's episode. If you enjoyed the episode, please rate the podcast, and hit the follow button and join us every Wednesday for a new episode on the Parsha Once again, thank you so much to this week's sponsor. And a reminder that you too can sponsor an episode of the podcast. 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