Parshat Parah, Purity, and the Nullification of Self (Week of Vayakhel)

In this episode we are going to get into Parshat Parah, one of the special parshoyot we read leading into Pesach! Why do we read about the Parah Adumah, the purifying red heifer, this week? What is so powerful about this mysterious mitzvah? And how does it in fact begin to prepare us for Pesach? We'll get into all of that and  much more in this episode!  

If you want to follow along in the text, it is Nesiovs Shalom Sefer Shemot page shin yud (310). You can find a pdf of the piece here.

This week's episode is sponsored by the Betsalel family in honor of the yurtzeit of Adina's great-grandmother, Esther bat Shoshana. May her neshamah have an aliyah. Thank you so much to this week's generous sponsor!

If you would like to sponsor an episode of the podcast, please email Rabbi Charnoff at rabbicharnoff@gmail.com.

Transcript

Rabbi Charnoff: 0:01

Hello everyone, this is Rabbi Robby Charnoff, and you are listening to the Hasidus for Life podcast. The podcast where we learn a deep Hasidic insight every single week, and explore how it can lead us to a more meaningful, vibrant, and spiritually uplifted life. In this episode, we are going to dive into the special Torah reading of Parshat Parah. Why do we read the Psukkim about the Parah Adumah, the Red Heifer, this week? What's so powerful about this mysterious mitzvah? And how is it beginning to pave the way to the holiday of Pesach? We'll get into all that and much more in this week's episode. If you wanna follow along inside, you can open up the Navo Shalom safer schmo to page hin in the back of the safe air and the peace entitled Parot. Or simply go to the show notes for a link to a PDF. But feel free to just sit back, listen, and enjoy the ride. Most people do. This week's episode is sponsored by the Bezalel family, in honor of the yurt site of Adina's great grandmother, Esther Bat Shoshana, near Neshamahav in Aliyah. Thank you so much to the Bezalel family. Your sponsorships are what make this podcast happen. If you would like to sponsor an episode of the podcast, Please email rabbi charnoff at gmail. com or see the show notes for more details. All right! With that, let's jump into the Deceivo Shalom on Parsha's para. We are in Yeshivot Shalom. We are on Parsas Parah, which is in the back of the volume on Sefer Shemot, on Page Shin. Yud, the first piece of Parshat Parah, which is entitled Parshat Parah. Parshat Parah is one of the four parshioth that we read around the time of Purim and Pesach. We have two of these four unique parshioth that lead into Purim, and we have two that take us from Purim and into Pesach. Parshat Parah is one of the Shabbatot, right after Purim, which gets into the topic of Parah Aduma, which is the beginning of Parshat Chukat in Sefer Bamidbar. And the focus is, is that we're now gearing up, we're getting ready for the holy holiday of Pesach, which is coming upon us in a little bit under a month. And so we need to start purifying ourselves, which is the main thing that Paro Duma does, is it purifies us specifically from impurities related to coming into contact with a dead body, coming into contact with death. And let's see what he has to bring out in terms of what the meaning is of Parshat Parah. We'll read the first few lines of the piece. There's a very long introductory paragraph here with many, many, many questions. We'll read the first couple of questions just to get our feet wet. Um, and then we're going to jump into his main piece and what he wants to say here on Parshat Parah. Page Shin Yud. Va'yidaber leimor. HaShem said to Moshe and to Aaron, leimor. Zot chukat haTorah, this is the chok of the Torah, A chok is a mitzvah of the Torah that's so deep that we can't really understand what's going on. Asher tzivah Hashem nimor, which the Kaddish Boruch who commanded saying, Daber al b'nei Yisrael, tell b'nei Yisrael, v'yikru eylecha parah aduma, take for yourselves a parah aduma, a red heifer. We're going to actually jump ahead. To the next paragraph, which is in the top of the next column. And let's see what he has to say about the significance and the meaning of parashat para. And the reading of parashat para, specifically at this time of year. The ha'inyan. Ki k'tiv, it says in Sefer Yeshayahu, Yot ser'or u'vorei choshech, oseh shalom u'vorei ra, ani hashem oseh kol eyleh. The Possessor of Yeshayahu says that HaKadosh Baruch Hu forms light and he creates darkness. He makes peace and he creates evil. ela. I am God who does all these things. Comments the Nesib O'Shalom. HaKadosh Baruch Hu barat ha tov. HaKadosh Baruch Hu creates tov. Hu kenegdoh barat ha ra. And on the contrasting background, He creates ra. Zeh le'umat zeh asah elokim. HaKadosh Baruch Hu always creates things in balance. Mikkor ha tov. So he is claiming here that the source, the root of all tov, the root of all good is the bina of a, of being nothing, of being myself, of nullifying myself before a, that there's a huge focus on me and my own life. I have a strong sense of identity, of who I am, of what I want to accomplish, of what's important to me. And so much of Hasidism, the Neshev Oshalom, discusses this in so many pieces, the goal is to get to ayin, the goal is to remove that sense of yesh, to remove my sense of ay, as the Rebbe always says, that in English, you have the capital I, right, of English, of the Western world. When I say I, when I write I on a piece of paper, that gets capitalized. You gets lowercase. It's lowercase y for you. But I'm capitalized. It's all about me. It's all about who I am. It's all about what I want. That's my sense of yeshut, of who I am and what I want, of my anokhiyut, that I am, my sense of being. And one of the main goals of life is to remove that, is to let that go, is to let go of my agendas, is to let go of all of my baggage, is to let go of all of my taivas, is to let go of all of my selfish desires. And open myself to truly serve HaKadosh Baruch Hu in a selfless way. And as an extension of that, to serve everybody around me. To, to be close to my friends and take care of my fellow Jews in a selfless way. To let go of myself. Rabbi Akiva Tatz explains this in a, I think, very beautiful way. these are basically his words. He says that some people misunderstand this concept. Some people think that when it's, that when Hasidus talks about B'tol Hayeshos, the removal of a sense of self, that the goal is to say, listen, HaKadosh Baruch Hu, you're right. I'm nothing, I don't care, I have no desires, I have no wants, I'm nothing, nothing matters, whatever. Tell me what to do, I don't care. he says, that's not an Oved HaShem! That's a nuisance! Who wants somebody to say, listen, whatever you want I'll do, I don't care. Nobody wants somebody who doesn't care. You don't care, you're not useful. You don't care, you have nothing. There's no you there. There's nothing exciting there. There's nothing meaningful there. There's no connection there. The Ray Ravikevatats explains what it is. He says, no, what is bitul hayeshos about? What does it mean to nullify myself? To nullify myself means I turn to HaKadosh Baruch Hu and say, HaKadosh Baruch Hu, I've removed everything! All of my own agendas, all of my own issues, all of my hangups, all of my problems, all of my selfish interests, all of that's gone. And now, all that's left is, I'm burning with a fire! To serve you as you want to be served. just to add on to that. What it means is to turn to a Qadrish Baruch Hu and say, I'm special, I'm unique. a Qadrish Baruch Hu created me, then I'm totally unique in all of creation. There's nobody in this world like me. There never was anybody like me. There never will be anybody like me. I have a specific job and a specific purpose and a specific destiny in this world. Things that I need to accomplish, that only I can accomplish. And that's on me. And so my goal is to get rid of all of this other stuff that gets in the way of that. And allow the me that is truly significant to come out. To burn with that fire, to burn with that passion, and to serve HaKadosh Baruch Hu with my whole being as only I can. To let go of my issues and my interests, to let my unique personality and abilities come out. To serve Aku as only I can serve a K. And so coming back to the piece or what he's saying is, he says, the source of all to is this aspect of a, I'm nothing, again, not nothing in a way of being a nuisance, nothing in a way of burning with a desire to serve Aku as he wants to be served. To use all of my cohos for you, all of my cohos to serve him be to get rid of All of my anxieties, all of my personal issues with the Kaddish Baruch Hu, these things that don't make sense to me, these things that I struggle with, this time where it feels like it didn't answer my tefillah, this time where it feels like he did, he did something in the world that I can't understand, and it makes me frustrated, it makes me angry, to let go of all those hang ups. All of my personal desires, yes. This, this is so exciting to me. This is what I get fired up by, so I wanna do it for me. No, let that go. I wanna do it for you. Let go of all of that. Y he says, and the source of all called reim, and he says that on the opposite side, that the source of RAH is the reality of the issues. Because from my sense of being, my sense of ego in my own existence, that's where jealousy comes from. What does that mean? How does he have such a thing? I deserve it. I want it. I should have it. How can a G d give it to him? I want that and I need that for what I want to do for myself. I need that for me. Tava. I want that. G d says it's us, sir. Okay, fine. Very nice, G d says it's us, sir. But I want it. Yesh, I am, I have an existence and a reality that's independent of you and Ganesh Parakal, and I want to serve me, not you. Even though you said it's us to eat that thing, I don't care, I want it. Even though you said I can't turn the light on on Shabbos, okay, but I want to be able to see what I'm doing. Even though you said it's us to have a physical relationship at this stage of life, okay, but I want that feeling right now. That's about me, what I want, the kavod, honor, come on, do you understand who I am? I understand who I am. I know exactly what I am. My sense of yeshus and my ego know exactly who I am. And I deserve people to stand for me and people to bring me what I want when I want it, people to listen to what I say. That's all coming from a sense of yeshus, a person who has bitl, who's mevatl themselves. Are you kidding me, Kina? How could I deserve, I don't deserve anything at all. Quresh Baruch Hu created me. I have no right to exist. Anything that a Quresh Baruch Hu gives me is a gift. I don't deserve any more than he gives me. And I trust that everything he gives me is exactly what I need. And he gives somebody else something that I don't have. It's exactly what he needs. And I shouldn't have it. Taiva? Who cares that my body wants something? A Quresh Baruch Hu created the body. He created the cheeseburger. And he created the Torah and the Halacha. And a Quresh Baruch Hu said, You can't have this thing. Who cares what I want? He wants me to not eat it. The covet. Who cares about my covet? I'm a nothing. I'm a speck of dirt on this planet in a cottage borough who's infinite. The whole world is filled with his kavod. I have no kavod on. Is that, what kind of silliness is that? If I'm there's these things don't get in the way. They don't cloud my judgment and I'm able to serve a Kash B with clarity because none of these things are clouding. My judgment and my vision with all of the, of za, with all the of my ego and they don't get in the way says. Anochi omeid bein Hashem uveinichem. I'm standing between Hashem and you. I assume this is talking about Moshe Rabbeinu, So how does the Baal Shem Tov understand this pasuk? Not that someone is saying, I'll stand between God and you. No! What stands between us and Hashem? The Anokhiyut stands as the difference between Hashem and you. Anokhi. Anokhiyut. A sense of I, a sense of self, a sense of ego, that's exactly what stands like mamesh, a brick wall, that divides between me and HaKadosh Baruch Hu. The biggest thing that can divide me and HaKadosh Baruch Hu is my ego, is my sense of self. Kechol shehudi oker et ha'yeshut v'ha'chomriyut, u'magia yoter le'bechinat ayin, kach sholet bo'shilton hatov. To the extent that a Jew is able to uproot and remove their sense of I, their sense of ego, their sense of selfish desire, and their sense of physicality, and they can get closer and closer and closer to I, and I'm nothing but fiery passion to serve you. to that extent, Tov is what will be ruling over their whole life. With Idah Gisan on the other side. Kama shel yilter bevchinat yesh, the more that a person lives in a reality of yesh. It's all about me. Kach shelet To that extent, ra is totally ruling over such a person. V'chol tachlit ha Torah And the whole goal, of a Jew, is to remove our sense of physicality, to remove our sense of selfishness of self, our ego Again, not to remove what's unique about me and special about me but to remove that ego and that desire to fulfill my selfish need. Kol taryag ha mitzvot nitnu b'chdei la'akor at ha chomriyut va'yeshut she'hem shoresh pur ha rosh v'la'ana. 613 mitzvot were given, he says, the whole reason they were given were to uproot this sense of physicality and sense of I and selfishness. An ego, which is the rotten root that's inside of us. Hei mitzvot asei, sheh shur sham avat Hashem mitzvot asei, whose root is in avat Hashem Vei mitzvat lo taasei, sheh shur sham yirat Hashem Or whether it's mitzvat lo taasei, whose root is in yirat Hashem Which makes sense, because again, you think about it. HaKadosh Baruch Hu saying, here's 613 mitzvot. How do we relate to these 613 mitzvot? So often, unfortunately, some of us may relate to them as 613 ways that HaKadosh Baruch Hu restricts us. That he limits us, that he makes our lives more difficult by having to do this, and we can't do that, and it's all the do's and don'ts, and it's so frustrating. But to see it from a different way! So many different sources bring this down, this is what Sholem breaks down all Baruch Hu says! There's 613 ways to connect to me, to love me, to show me love. This is how you can show me love. There's no way for the finite to be able to connect to the infinite. There's no way for the finite to be able to give anything to the infinite. He doesn't need anything. He's a Qadosh Baruch Hu. He's the source of all things. He doesn't need anything. He's not lacking anything. And a Qadosh Baruch Hu says if you were to try on your own to figure out how to serve me, To connect to me, to give to me, you'd fail miserably, because it's impossible. And he gives us the biggest gift that there is. You couldn't have figured it out on your own. So I'm giving you the Torah, and I'm giving you the 613 mitzvot. These are the 613 ways to show me how much you love me. What a gift! Anybody who's married, shatzo mosakop, I believe you are not yet married, anyone who's married knows that so often one of the biggest challenges is you look at the person who you love so much more than anything else in the world. And you just don't know what they want. I want to do for you. What's upsetting you? How do I give to you? What do you want? All I want to do is to give. And you have to dig sometimes and figure out between all of the layers of what the person can say and can't say, wants to say, doesn't want to say, knows what they know how to say, doesn't know how to say, and it's true by all of us. Every single one of us in a relationship. Relationship with parents also, relationship with siblings also, relationship with friends also. So many of the issues revolve around the fact that I just, I don't know how to give to you. I don't know what to do. I don't know what you want from me. And I don't, not in a negative way. There's the angry way. What do you want from me? There's the, but there's the beautiful way of, no, I don't know what you want from me. Just tell me what you want and all I want to do is to give it to you. And the Qadosh Baruch Hu says, don't even ask. Here it is. 613 overt ways with millions upon millions of details of halachos. This is how you can love me. But to be able to get to that place of all I want to do is give, it means that I want to spend my life, instead of taking for myself, I want to give to you. We have an innate physical nature that's run by the Yitzhar Hara, that's run by our physicality. We're born this way. But when we start our lives, all we want is, it's hardwired into us. What do I want? What do I need? How do I get the things that I desire? That's how we're hardwired. And the goal to lead a meaningful, uplifting, a true life of Ores Hashem, and a true life of meeting Bechlau. How do you do that? I could take for myself forever, and I will never meet one one millionth of my taivas. I will never fulfill my desires. I'll be miserable and depressed because I spent my whole life running after myself. And you know what? It turns out I was ayin. I was nothing. And I ran after nothing my whole life. Or I can take my whole life and take so much work, but it's MS. It's the only way to lead a meaningful life. HaKadosh Baruch Hu, I want to give you everything I have. I want to spend all of that energy and all of that time and all of that focus. And I want to focus it on you and how to serve you and the 613 mitzvot or the 613 ways that I can obsessively spend every second of my life meaningfully giving of myself with that same excitement and passion to you. And I never would have known if you wouldn't have told me, but he tells us exactly what he wants, but I need to remove that yeshut, that ego, that desire, that need to serve my physical self. To spiritually give everything that I am from a place of fiery excitement to you through your 13 mitzvah rah. As we find by the receiving of the Torah Amara K be tar notes that ou at Matan Torah gave over the first two of the Aser Don't have any other gods other than me. these, two of the first, they were given over as one. What's special about the experience of hearing these two dero as one? Let's say a Curtis Burkel would've said the first one. And then paused, said the second one. What's the maila? What's the advantage of having heard the first two at once? What was the Why did the Kadesh Baruch HaGwadah have his way to do it that way? Umayyim, Ayun, Namrim, Bebeti, Brods. What if they would have been said separately? Why not? who speaks. He speaks in the most perfect way. And these two de of the first one. The second one only are when they're together. Why god love me, connect to me. That's all that's connecting to ko. That's pouring out with love and don't have any other Gods other than me. That's Lote. That's Yra. he says them at one time because he's showing us that Avan, YRA. Fill each other out. We only get to a full Avot Hashem when the two of them are intertwined, when we experience and live Ahavah and Yirah together. Sh'zoi ha'shlimut. Anochi hu shoresh kol mitzvot haasei, shemidatam ha'ava. Like we just said, Anochi is the root of all of the mitzvot haasei, who's, are coming from a place of a'ava. And is the root of all the whose source is coming from ra. The, that's what it means that they were given over at once SHA because together the full is both together. Ve'ahavta at Hashem Elokecha, ve'chol levavecha, ve'chol nafshecha, ve'chol me'odecha, ve'at Hashem Elokecha tira, to both serve HaKadosh Baruch Hu with our heart and our soul and our being, everything that we are, and also to have fear of HaKadosh Baruch Hu all at once. Shehudit tzarich limsor la'HaKadosh Baruch Hu et kol ve'me'odehu. That a person has to give himself over to HaKadosh Baruch Hu be'ahava, with my whole heart. With my yitzra tov, my yitzra ra, with everything that I am to give myself to him. V'nafsho, even willing to give my life to you, HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Me'odecha, all of my money, everything I have, all of my wealth in this world Everything I have is for you. V'sheh lo yishtayru etz lo shum yeshut v'ahavut achirot. And there shouldn't be remaining by a Jew, any Yeshut. There's no sense of me, no other things that I'm giving my love to. No other things that I'm letting my love fall to a negative space to. My Yitzars are for you. My soul is for you. All my physical possessions are for you. It's all for you. It's a recognition, There shouldn't be anything else other than you. Meaning, All there is, is you. And there's no existence other than you. And therefore, there's no me. There's no me. How can I have any ego? How can I have any self interest? All there is is you, and so everything I am is for you. Top of the next page. Again, the whole goal is for a person to let go of their to let go of their Ute and to completely get themselves over to ak. He continues on and says, haYishut, hi'amikor l'sitra'acha. This concept of yeshus, of my feeling sense of ego and a sense of self. That's the source for the, it all comes from having a sense of self again, like we talked about, how could a person's sin? A person saying, who doesn't want me to do something, but I want to, I have a sense of, I, I have a sense of me I wanna do. And so that sense of I overrides Akadosh Baruch Hu. So all sin comes from a place of, deep down, me saying, No, I'm more important than Akadosh Baruch Hu. I spoke to a student this past week, and they were coming from a place of asking from a genuine place, and they're working to work on their Avodah Hashem, but to recognize them, this was in real time. A student came over and said, you know, I'm going home for Pesach break, and I want to work on Shomron Hagia. But I'm struggling with the fact that on the one hand I'm Shomron Hagia, on the other hand, like, how could I not hug my uncles and my cousins and all of these things? And I said, it's very hard, but you have to figure out how to get over it. I said, if, listen, if there's issues of Shalom bias to the extreme, it could be that a person speak to a POSIC about how to navigate the Shalom bias issues and balance that out with the very serious Issure de Oryza of Arius that are involved in the Gia. But let's assume that it's Asr, because it's Asr. Let's assume that it's Asr. And she said, well, what does it mean if I say that I'm Shomer Negea, but okay, it's, I don't want to get involved in that. I don't want to upset anyone. So I'm just going to hug my uncles and my cousins. And I said, excuse me for being blunt. And I'm saying this that way you see it with a little bit of clarity, which is. You can do what you want, but what you're saying is, I know that a Qadosh Baruch Hutzad, it's an Yisra del Rais of Araios. I find it uncomfortable to stand up for that and to put myself in discomfort to fulfill what a Qadosh Baruch Hu wants. And so you're saying my discomfort is more important than you, a Qadosh Baruch Hu. My feeling comfortable is more important than you. and I said to the scroll, I said, listen, I'm not judging you and I'm not coming down on you, but I want you to start to understand at this stage of religious development that when you say, I don't want to fill a mitzvah. And whatever rationale you give yourself, when you give yourself a rationale, you're really just saying, I want to serve me and not you. It's more convenient. It's more enjoyable. It's less uncomfortable, whichever space it might come from to do what I want to do instead of what you want me to do. And I'd rather serve me than serve you. And it's a little bit harsh. I understand that it's a little bit harsh, but to recognize that that's what we're saying. We make calls like that. That's what we're saying. We make choices like that. And that's what he's saying here. It's a wild thing that he's saying that ultimately this is where it all comes from. All sin comes from this root. This root of Yeshut. This root of Anokhiyut. He says so too. So too all, all impurity comes from a sense of ego, a sense of desiring to serve myself. That all death comes from a sense of self, from comes from the. It says is saying, you are godly. You're like the children on high. All of you Jews. your mam godly. Chazal say on this pasuk, Sheh be kabalat ha Torah k'var amad netzach. That Chazal bring down base on this pasuk, at Kabbalah, SadTorah, they were standing at a point of purity, where they could have at that moment moved into a state of a perfected world, and mavet, death, would have been removed. Forever. Achein. But nebach, what's the end of the pasuk? Achein, ka adam timutun. But nebach, like people, you end up dying. Meaning, machamat hachet chazar shuv yinan hamitah. Because of sin, death came back into the world. What sin are we talking about? Chet ha'igel. They got to the point where they could have entered into the world of tikkun et ma'amar har sinai. And they fell right back to the world post sin, post eating of the Es Hadass, when they did the sin of the Egal Azah. Kol Mitzut Hamitah, the whole reality of death itself. Novat Miha Yeshut Umekor HaRa. It comes from a sense of self. It comes from a place of Ra. The whole Tumat Met and all of the Tumah, the impurity that comes from death. Gam Ki Novat Miha Yeshut, it comes from a sense of self and ego. Sha'adam asher b'chayav shalat po shelton hara, va'yishu tarei la'akhar mitato, govera alav yotir koach atuma. That when a person lives a life where ra and selfishness rule their life while they're alive. So that means that when they die, when they move on to the next world, when they experience death, then they're going to have more tomon. The toma of death and the toma within death comes from the selfishness of life. That's where it comes from, he says. Mipnei she hakidusha mistaleket az mimenu. Because that person is going to lack a kidusha. Because they spent their whole life running after themselves, so in death they're going to be more tamay. They're going to live in a more tumidic existence, post death. Ve'alkein hu mitamay lachar mitato, if Mamesh brings tuma after a person dies. hai. And that's why there's no TMA by SAD when they die. Because tzaddikim purify themselves in their lifetime, they purify themselves of a sense of ego. They purify themselves of a sense of selfishness and taiva and desire. To the point of ayin. That when their neshamah leaves them, neshamah, the tumah leaves them also. Kamur Again, all of tumah comes from yishut. And again, you think of the tzaddikim, think of what he's talking about. if you've ever seen in real life, or you've seen videos of a Rebbe, and all of the talmidim of the entire base medrash, Ma'am is singing and dancing by the Rebbe, and clinging to the Rebbe, and asking the Rebbe for brachas, and all of the chassidiyot that there are. And hear what he's saying here. That person who's in the middle of the circle with the special bekishah and the special strimal and everybody wants a second of his time and he has to have a shamash to make sure that somebody guards him in terms of one day people can talk to him and who gets to him when, it's all about him. Chassidus is all about the Rebbe. People have big issues with Chassidus. Why? Because it's all about the Rebbe. But hear what the Rebbe is saying. I'm nothing. I'm nothing. That's what makes him the Rebbe. That's what makes him at the center of the circle. that's what makes Davra Melech, Davra Melech. I think we brought this down in other places, but just to unpack it here for a second. That's the beauty of Malchus. It's the lowest, the bottom of the seven spheros. Chesed, Vurach, Tiferet, Netzach, Hodi, Sodom, Malchut. Malchut is the bottom one, the last one. Malchus has nothing of its own. Lately in Begarmai Klum, Malchus has nothing of its own. It's a crazy concept. In the secular world, when you're picking a king or you're picking a president. Who do you vote for? You hear their pitch, you hear what they have to say, you hear what they're telling you their vision is, and you pick the person where you align most with their vision of what they want to do, what they want to accomplish, what they want to see for this country or this land or whatever it is. And you pick that person. It's all about me and my vision. Says Thora, no! That's the opposite of what a melech is. That's the opposite of what a president is. That's the opposite of what a ruler is. What's malchus? Malchus is davat ha melech, he has nothing, nothing of himself. Davat ha melech turns to a G d and says, G d, I'm nothing, I'm just a vessel for you. M'lo kol ha aretz kivodo, your kavod fills the world. Your malchus runs the world. If I'm a Jewish melech, I'm a vessel for you so your malchus can come through me. So that you rule the world. It's all about you. And I'm mamish nothing. I saw it brought down I can't remember where, it was unbelievable. The concept, if you've heard of this, famous madrash, that Davar HaMelech only lived 70 years, and he didn't even have those 70 years. The 70 years that he had, so Adam HaRishon gave 70 years of his life, he was gonna live a thousand years, he only lived 930, because he gave 70 years to Davar HaMelech. So I forget what Tziver brought this time and said, see, he didn't even have life! Adam and Elisha looked at the whole history of the world. He said, we need a David of Melech. But David of Melech says, I'm nothing. So he doesn't even have, he has no life. Had 70 years, he wouldn't have even had a lifetime to live. Because David of Melech says, I'm nothing. Because he actually is nothing. And he's the biggest Melech there ever was. Because all he is, is a funnel for our Kadesh Baruch Hu. Lahavdiel. Talking about David of Melech. You can say Lahavdiel. Lahavdiel. When a Rebbe stands in the middle of a circle, if he's a real Rebbe, what makes him a Rebbe? is that he's nothing. He's everything to everybody who's around him because he's funneling a Kadesh Baruch Hu through him, Tizch Hasidim. He's funneling a Kadesh Baruch Hu through him in the Omachut Shemaim. He's funneling only a Kadesh Baruch Hu and trying to give over a Kadesh Baruch Hu, nothing of himself, just to give them a connection to a Kadesh Baruch Hu. So that's what he's saying here, Tzaddik is Tahor. When a Tzaddik dies, there's no Tumma there bechlal. Why? Because there never was any sense of self and all of the Ra and all of the Chet and all of the Yeshus and all of the Tumma, it all comes from a sense of Yeshus, sense of self and ego. Desire as it's brought down that a nothingness the reality of nothing that's inside of me. Nothing external can touch that. All the negative forces can only get their claw into physicality and a sense of self is negative. Forces clinging to a person. HaOrachayim HaKadosh, the Parshat Chukat, and as the Orachayim HaKadosh says in Parshat Chukat, which is the Parshat of Parah Aduma, the Inyan Tumas Mase, when it comes to Tumas Mase, the impurity that comes through death, ShaRuchaniyim HaShveilim Ta'avim LaHachez L'Dabeyk BeGdusha Shal Yudi, that all of the negative things in the world, all the negative spiritual forces, they're desperate to cling to the Kedusha of a Jew. But they can't, they can only try to even begin to connect him in his death. That's where comes from again, so all, all sin and all, all impurity, it all comes as reality of. Jesus, a sense of self. Next paragraph. Uvikabalat ha k'asher sham'u Yisrael anochi, v'lo yelecha, mi piya g'vura. At matan Torah, Yisrael heard these two statements of anochi and lo yeh, the first two dibros, From a Karesh Baruch Hu at one time. Mitz'aloo lemad dreigah ha gvoha bi yotir she'iloodi sha mesugah la agia eylehah. They rose up to the highest level that a human being could achieve. U'parcha nishmatan. Their souls, Ma'amish, left their bodies. The Gemara tells us that every time a Karesh Baruch Hu would speak, the experience would ma'mish knock their soul out of their body. When you hear God speak to you, there's no physicality. Physicality is not relevant anymore. And their souls were so enlivened, were so spiritually infused by hearing the word of God. That it flew out of their bodies up to a, there was no physicality left in them, and they got to the place like they were they were spiritual beings. Like angels, who have no sense of self, no sense of ego, and are completely M'vatel to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Parentheses, then the malachim came down and pushed our souls back into our bodies. Because if we cease to exist, then the whole world ceases to exist. The world exists so Jews can serve HaKadosh Baruch Hu. And so if all the Jews would have died at that moment, then the world would stop existing. And the Malachim would have ceased to exist also. So the Malachim, in an act of self preservation, they swooped down and they took our souls and pushed us back into our bodies every single time. V'achar kach, but nebach afterwards, what happened? We sinned and we fell out chit ha'egel. Dinyan chit ha'egel, milvad etzeh ma'achit b'foah. Because when it comes to chit ha'egel, last week's parsha. Aside from the actual sin itself, the main issue and damage that was done in is that they specifically were requesting physicality, this person, Moshe Rabin, we don't know what happened to him. Moshe Rabbeinu oleva shalom haya b'lchinak b'tzl. What was Moshe? Moshe was b'tzl. There was nobody more b'vatzel than Moshe. There was nobody more anav in the history of the world. There was no one more humble than Moshe Rabbeinu. His whole reality was b'tzl. Of totally subjugating himself before HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Kimod l'chtiv, as Moshe Rabbeinu says, V'nachnu ma? What are we? We're nothing. He says it's an open pasuk in the Torah. Shaya b'vchinat ayin v'efes hamukhlat. He made himself into a nothing. and again Moshe Rabbeinu, he was everything. aspire to be as Jews. Because he was nothing. He did the CSB triumph. He took us out of Egypt. He split the sea. He got us to the desert. He got the Torah. He brought us out of Israel. He did all these things. And only he could have done all these things. But the only way that he could have done those things is. Is if he let go all of his stuff, he let go all of his desires, and he said everything I am, I have so much koach, and HaKadosh Baruch Hu, it's for anything you want me to do. Shaya bevchinat ayin that he ma'mesh made himself into nothing. There was no sense of ego and self left inside of him. U'kemo she'he'ida alav ha Torah, as the Torah says, the Torah testifies. He was more humble than- any other person in the face of the planet that ever lived top of the next column. It was because of that, that he got to the level of being able to see a q. But the, that was down there and Mosha was up on the mountain. They had this overwhelming desire of rah, a desire of physicality and. Even in Avodas HaShem, that it should be from a place of Yeshus. V'lachein lo sablu hanagato shol Mosheh. They couldn't bear the way to serve in the way of Mosheh. Ki zeh ha'ish lo yadano meh haya lo, kol mi'uto vanagato hi v'nachnu ma. Meaning they couldn't, he's reading the puzzle differently. He's saying that, we're saying, we can't keep serving HaKadosh Baruch Hu in this way. HaKadosh Baruch Hu like this Ish Mosheh. He's all, ma, he's all, I don't, I'm nothing, ma, I'm nothing, and I can't serve a Ganesh Baruch Hu like Moshe. And that's why it becomes, that is an egel. This ox, this physical animal, comes out from the fire. You want to serve like an animal? You want to serve in a physical way? In a way where you feel your weight, you feel your physicality, you feel your presence? So you serve like an eagle. Ha'hefech ha'gamor me'hamadrega sh'mosh Rabbeinu olev ha'shalom heviyei le'ha et yisroa b'chalamat tzva. The opposite of where a Moshe Rabbeinu got the Jewish people to a Kabbalas HaTorah. Zehaya pigam she Yisrael naflu v'shuvniu li yeshut. This is the deep damage that was done at Kabbalas HaTorah, where they fell so far to a place of Yeshus. of ego in a sense of selfishness. And so this brought death back into the world. The source, the biggest reality of T is TOMA mate. So it brought death and TMA back into the world. There would be no more to mate in the world. There would've been no more death. We would've moved on to the next stage of reality. All of Tumah comes from Chet HaEgel. Again, we were on the precipice of Moving on to the next stage of reality, moving on to the next world. In the next world there is no death. When we move past this point of existence, when we go through a process of death, Then we get to Tzkiyat HaMeitim. After Tzkiyat HaMeitim, when I come back in a state of purity, there's no death after that. We live on for eternity. In a state of life. There's no more death anymore. And we transcended death at Kabbalah Sator. But Chet HaEgel dragged us back down. And brought back through that Chet and desire for a selfish way to serve HaKadosh Baruch Hu. To frame it differently. He's not saying it exactly in this way. But to frame it a little differently. HaKadosh I want you to serve me a certain way. They said no. We want to serve you and we're anxious and we don't like the fact that Moshe's not here and makes us nervous about Ganesh Baruch Hu. I mean, all of these things. And it could have been, some of it could have been L'Shem Shemaim. And according to the last form, it was L'Shem Shemaim. There was a lot of diva voda that was going on in the Egil. But what was the ultimate issue? God didn't ask to be served that way. You could take an image of an Egil, which is one of the aspects of the four corners of the chariot of a Qadosh Baruch, who was revealed in Meis and Merkabah. You could have the biggest Kabbalistic intentions on the face of the planet. This was Dordea, this was the generation that came out of Mitzrayim, and just spoke to a Qadosh Baruch, who face to face, about the Torah. These weren't a bunch of small people who were making an idiotic mistake. These were tremendously lofty people. And their sin? Halavai. We understood the depth of the Avodah of the Egel. But even if we did, we have to understand deeper than that. HaKadosh Baruch Hu didn't ask for it. It's not how He wanted to be served. And therefore, there's me in it. My anxieties. My perspectives. My wants. it's all about me. God, I want to serve you in a way that's comfortable for me. I want to serve you this way. it's an incredible thing. Right after Chita Egel, we're told to build the Mishkan. And in the Mishkan, what do we have in the center? You have the courtyard, and then you have the Kodesh, and then you have the Kodesh HaKadoshim. In the center of the Kodesh HaKadoshim, what do you have? You have the two kruvim. What are the two kruvim? They're two figures made out of gold. They're golden figurines through which we focus ourselves to serve God. What's the difference between the kruvim and the eigel? So there's obviously a million differences in terms of the nuances of Uvod Hashem. But on a basic level, what's the difference between a kruvim and an eigel? One God asked for. One he commanded. One he said, this is how I want you to serve me. And the other one we said, but this is how I want to serve you. And it can be as reductionistic as that. There's so many levels of nuance and kabbalah and depth, yes. But you can reduce it just to that. And I'm sure you're asking yourself, Okay, what does that have to do with parah adumah? I don't know yet, we've got one paragraph left. Let's see it together and find out. See, it says here in the last paragraph of Aleph, V'tikun lechet ha'egel. Ha ya b'srifat ha eigel le eifer va fa cha to le ayin ha mochad. Ah, beautiful. It all comes together now. He says, what's the tikkun for chet ha eigel? Chet ha eigel is yeshus. Chet ha eigel is anokhiyut. Chet ha eigel is selfishness. Chet ha eigel brings hate into the world. It brings death into the world. It brings tummah into the world. How do you fix chet ha eigel? How do you fix the tummah of death that chet ha eigel brought into the world? You take an eigel, you take a cow, and you burn it. You burn it into dust and ash into a state of nothingness. You take the ego of a sense of self, an ego that says, I am here. You take that ego and you turn it into nothing, you turn it into a says. one of the things that Mos Abdo does when he comes back down from the mountain and he sees that they had served this egg. What does he do? He read it in last week's parsha. He takes the egg. And he burns it, and then he grinds down what's left of it, and he puts it into the water, and he makes Bnei Yisrael drink the water with the little ground up pieces of cheta egel inside, the dust of the egel inside of it. And that's why we have to go and we have to burn the egel, In order to remove the sense of aness, the sense of ego that's in the, by turning it to its opposite, turning it into dust, turning it into ash. Nothing Israel. Then he gave it to Zel to drink, to fix themselves. You want an egg? This is the only way to take an egg. You don't make an egel of gold to glorify your own Avodas HaShem. The way you glorify Avodas HaShem is by taking everything that you think that you want, and you turn it into nothing. And you turn yourself into ayin ve'efes. And you purge yourself of all of that yeshua and nochiyut, and then you come to serve HaKadosh Baruch Hu. V'al derech zeh yishlomar gam b'ma sheketuv haRamban. Based on this, we can also explain that which the Ramban says. Amashen ehtav, ha'igel, that they mamish mourned after chet ha'igel. Shekevan sh'nitablu, v'nish'bar li'bam be'kirbam, kiblu oltam ha'karach baruchu v'chazar va'amar b'derech rachamim. Emor li'vnei Yisrael. Because they mourned, because the Imamish broke down inside, their hearts were broken over what they did. Because of that, HaKadosh Baruch Hu took them back in a way of Rahamim and said, Tell B'nei Yisrael, Be'od she'ar'ata, Hizkiram rak b'lashon, Amcha v'ha'am, Up until this point, says the Nesib O'Shalom, After Chet Ha'igel, they're only referred to as Your people, Moshe, or the people, not Bnei Yisroel. We're no longer talking about them in a lofty way. V'ata, but now that I see that they're in mourning, and their hearts are broken, they realize that they're giving up themselves because all they want to do is to connect to me. And they realize they're willing to give that up. Now, he's kiram Yisroel. Now I can mention them by their beloved name of Bnei Yisroel. Ki shivron ha'leiv, shehaya lahem zo yisorat tshuva. Their broken heart, that was the foundation of tshuva. because the sin of Chi Ta'igel, The source of it was Yeshut. V'keivan she nishbar libam, once their hearts were broken, v'yitablu and they mourned, haya ha'egel. That's the tikun of chet ha'egel. I'm not focused on me anymore. I'm broken because I hurt you. V'yesh la'avin od, and we can also understand, v'mashva'ut strefat ha'egel v'hashka'ato, through the burning of the egel and the giving of the egel to drink. V'keivan she ha'egel b'tei v'sim'el et shitatam ha'chomriyut, that since the egel, v'sim'el et shitatam Embodied this, this perspective that they had of physicality. What did he do? He burned it in fire. He burned up that physicality. Then when it comes to physicality, it's not enough for a person to take on their heart and say, I'm not gonna do this anymore. Sha, it's not enough. When a person is taken over by their physicality, you have to burn it. You momish have to burn it, saying, listen, I didn't mean to, I did this sin. I know I shouldn't eat that food, but I eat the food. I had such desire for it. I know I shouldn't touch that person, but I have a desire for it. You can't just say it. I now take a upon myself. I'm never gonna eat non-kosher food again. I now take'em on myself. No more cheeseburgers. I now take'em on myself. Show more. Eat. You can't just save. You have to work inside to Mamish burn like we talked about a few weeks ago in the podcast You in order to overcome physicality you need the fire of the Mizbeach to burn away the physicality You can't just swear it off. You need to Mamish be able to remove it With fire. V'zoi v'yashgat b'nei Yisrael, so Moshe ben Ugoz, and he burns the egel, and then he gives the leftovers, the remnants, the dust and the dirt of it, he gives it to b'nei Yisrael to drink. She'echdir v'yishrish b'v'nei Yisrael she'bi'or ha'chomri'ut v'yishutu al'yidei shreifa b'davka. That the way to bring inside of myself and root within myself. The removal of physicality is through ish burning. It's have to burn the physicality if the mish burn, the ego alfa, right? We're leading up to pesa. What's the only way to get rid of the hamit? What do we dka go out of our way to do? if we remove all the hamit in our house over the next four weeks, remove every single little bit of comments in the house. We're gonna save some of it just for be your mates. Why? Because we'll get to in future weeks of the podcast. When we go and we do s. S, and we're looking for the Es, hammes is physicality. And the only way to truly get rid of physicality is to burn it. And so we have M and this concept of spreading it over the water, the ma hints the spiritual capacities of a person. muateh bahem, v'hem kim'at v'ruchaniyut bilvat, v'gam yishpem kohakh ha ta'ara. Again, and also the water has the power to purify. Shakol tamei Water has the ability to purify when a person nebach lo'aleinu sins. In addition to doing tremendous tshuva, and burning the ra out inside, and burning the physicality inside. Also go to the mikvah, and the mikvah is able to remove that impurity. V'chein matzinu, top of the next page, and last few lines for today. V'chein matzinu she'mayim mosifim kidusha. And we see that water, on the one hand, by going into a mikvah, you can remove impurities, but also water adds kidusha. mitzuma The kohen gadol on Yom Kippur he comes impure to the base of the Mikdash Chas Vashonim is not going to walk in impure to the Avoda on Yom Kippur And yet he still immerses himself five times over the course of the Avoda And it was not possible for him to become tamay over his Avoda on Yom Kippur But he still goes five times, why? Not to remove tzuma, but to continue to add more and more kiddusha And let's usefit Tahara for more and more purity Although to add more and more to the water, the al so therefore, Mo takes the ego and spreads it over the water that we should be purified. the reality of AI within us should be purified through water and by drinking in that water should purify ourselves inside and out from that aspect. The Duma is a very deep thing. How deep is it? It's so deep that, again, it's the chok of the Torah. You can't really even understand what it is. But he's saying here a little bit that we can take from it, because if it's written in the Torah, we're meant to draw from it whatever we can, as much as we can. The Torah is lashon hora'ah. It teaches us how to live life. these are the weeks that we're leading up to Pesach. Like, we're going to talk about more, and as he's already started to hint to today, to, we're moving all the chametz. We're removing all of the aspects inside of ourselves, all the physicality, all the negative mitos that have built up, that have gotten to all of the little corners. We're searching for it, we're finding it, we're gathering it, and ultimately, we're burning it. He says, what's the burning? What's happening there? It's taking the Egal Azahav, which is the source of death and Tumat Meit and impurity and sin. And it all comes from Yeshut, from a sense of self and ego and selfishness and focus on me and not you, me and not Akadosh Baruch Hu, the capital I in the lowercase u instead of focusing on the ultimate Hey of Akadosh Baruch Hu, the Yud all that matters, where everything comes from and everything is going to. And to take it and to grind it up, to burn it in fire first, Moshe Beinu takes it and burns it in fire, to burn my chumriyut, to burn my physicality, to burn my desires, all of my agendas, again, to take a moment in this Shabbos, Shabbos of Parshat Parah, to think to myself, what are the areas of my life that I just give in to my desire for me? And to take it and burn it up a little bit, burn it up a lot, to burn it in fire, and then to take the ashes that are left behind, to see those ashes, to gaze at them. This is what physicality really is. It's nothing. What am I? I'm nothing, because I'm only everything when I serve a Karesh Baruch Hu. And I go and I sprinkle that into the water and I drink that water in. I take the ashes of the Paraduah by saying it, and I sprinkle it on my head to be metami from Tumas Mase, to purify myself from the impurity of death. So that I can truly, truly live. B'ezrat Hashem, as we start the road to Pesach, it's a long road, it's a lot of preparations, as we start the road to Pesach, we should be able to start it off strong, with the koach and the clarity of Purim behind us, and coming into Parsha's para this week, to be able to remove that physicality, to burn it up, to grind it up, so that the para adumah purifies us from all of the tumah, especially to matmei. To allow me to truly serve HaKadosh Baruch Hu, as He wants to be served with everything that I am, for you. And through that, Bezrat to experience Pesach, and the Geula of Pesach, and ultimately the true, ultimate, final Geula of Bezrat Hashem, B'miher Rabi Aminu Amin. Thank you so much for tuning in to this week's episode! If you enjoyed the episode, please rate the podcast and hit the follow button. And join us every Wednesday for a new episode on the Parsha. Once again, thank you so much to this week's sponsor. And a reminder that you too can sponsor an episode of the podcast. Email rabbicharnoff at gmail. com for more info, or to share any thoughts, comments, or feedback on this week's episode. See you in the next one.