Journeying with God's Cloud Through Life (Behaaloscha)

In this episode, we are learning about Parshat Behaaloscha! In it, the Torah tells us how the Mishkan would travel through the desert - that when the cloud would descend upon the Mishkan they would encamp, and when the cloud would rise up they would follow it. What is the meaning of this could? Why does it cover the Mishkan and why do we follow it? And what does that tell us about our inner Mishkan as we journey through the desert of our lives? We’ll get into all that and more in this week’s episode! 

If you want to follow along in the text, it is Nesivos Shalom on Bamidbar page mem zayin (47). You can find a pdf of the piece here.

This week’s episode is sponsored anonymously in the zchus of children for Shalom Aryeh ben Perel Esther and Tamar Hadassa bas Perel Esther. Thank you so much to this week's generous sponsor! If you would like to sponsor an episode of the podcast, please email Rabbi Charnoff at rabbicharnoff@gmail.com.

Transcript

Rabbi Charnoff: 0:04

Hello everyone. This is Rabbi Robbie Chernoff, and you are listening to the Hasid for Life podcast, the podcast where we learn a deep Hasidic insight every single week and explore how it can lead us to a more meaningful, vibrant, and spiritually uplifted life. In this episode, we are learning about parsha ba in it. The Torah tells us how the Mishka would travel through the desert, that when the cloud would descend upon the Mishka, they wouldn't camp. And when the cloud would rise up, they would follow it. What's the meaning of this cloud? Why does it cover the Mishka? Why do we follow it? And what does that tell us about our inner Mishka as we journey through the desert of our lives? We'll get into all that and more in this week's episode. If you wanna follow along inside, you can open up the bar to page me Zion, and the piece entitled Al Is, or simply go to the show notes for a link to A PDF. But feel free to just sit back, listen, and enjoy the ride. This week's episode is sponsored anonymously in the schools of children for Shalom bin Peril, Esther and Tamar Hadasa about peril. Esther, thank you so much for sponsoring this week's episode. Remember, your sponsorships are what make this podcast happen. If you would like to sponsor an episode of the podcast, please email rabbi chernoff@gmail.com or see the show notes for more details. Alright, with that, let's jump into Parsha Bauska. We are in the, Once the ish went up and the Mishka is finally completed, really in last week's parsa, but now that the mic has been completed, it's functioning and we're about to, in this week's Parsa leave Harini behind. Finally, after being there through half of safer schmo, all at the beginning of safer mid bar, now we're ready to journey into the meat bar and the Torah tells us. Once the Han was up and functioning, the cloud would cover the Han. During the day and at night, there was a vision of fire. A pillar of fire until the morning And it furthermore tells us that, that we traveled according to, and we rested according to eternal teaching us the way of what's the eternal nature in this par, in this discussion of the Mishka and how we traveled and what's the way of that is seeking to teach us. So he jumps in and says in the second paragraph. And the way to understand this is, is that when it says that the Mishka went up, it's hinting to the individual Mishka that's in every single one of us. As it famously says, the past says, make for me a and I will dwell within them, make for me a singular, and I will dwell within them, plural. How could that be? It doesn't say, I will dwell within it. It says, I will dwell within them. What does that mean? That every single one of us has a mishka inside of us. We all have a Mik. We all have a mini mishka inside of ourselves. And so anytime that the Torah discusses this seemingly, seemingly irrelevant topic of the Mishka, that the Mishka is simply this. Temporary dwelling for the vessels that we used as we traveled through the desert into Arch Israel until we got to the beam. No, it's more than that. First of all, in and of itself, it's more than that. But second of all, on a personal level, every single one of us, but every time that the Torah talks about the Mishka, a person needs to read the puk in both in terms of the shot of the Mishkin itself, as well as understanding that it's talking about deep, eternal truths, about the essence of each and every one of us. That it's digging inside each and every one of us, and understanding how our internal Mishka functions, how to make sure that a kaku dwells within me wherever I am, wherever I'm traveling. How do I keep a, within me, it's a command from AHU that every Jew should erect within themselves, a ash, a place for ahu to rest. Every one of us has the capacity, and he says here, that vo the command to make ourselves into that mishka, to build that inner mishka and to be a place within this world upon which AK dwells. And that's what it means when it says, that's why it says in the, it says on the day the Mishka went up. And it's not specific. It speaks about it in a vague way. What should it have said otherwise? The. The SUP should have been more explicit and said no on the day that Mosha put up the Mishka. But it doesn't say that. Why does it say it in a more vague way? In order the sup should have two layers of meaning by taking up Mosha from the Pusa. It means when the Mishka went up in the desert, meaning when Mosha put it up, that's the shot level. But there's a whole nother level there. We're talking about when each and every one of us puts up Erects, our own internal Mishka. It's talking about every single one of us. So on that day, Des, when we do put up, when we do ignite that internal ISHKA inside of us. So what happens next? On the day the Mishka goes up, what happens Immediately the cloud comes and descends over the Mishka. He says that the second that a Jew puts up the mishka immediately, immediately comes upon the Jew incredible tests on a level of a cloud coming in the Hester, the hiddenness of a kku darkness, like when a cloud diss descends. And it's not intuitive. We'll have to see why this is and how he explains it. But he's saying that the second that I successfully put up my internal mishka, the first thing that happens is a cloud calms and descends on that. Mishka and I exist in a reality of darkness. And he, and not only that, Rab, and in the nighttime, Hamish, there was a vision of fire. The pillar of fire at night. As we know, the nighttime is the time when we're overpowered by physicality, by desire, shamar, that the is ignited within us, like a fire, like a vision of fire inside of us. The second the micka goes up, a cloud descends somewhere in darkness, and Tiva comes and starts to attack us. A Jew needs to know that all of this is part of the test of life. Continues on and says continually always the cloud would cover it. And the pillar of Ro be before it. This is the natural way of life for Jew shall their Sahara that they go through consistently consecutively in life tests of he and tests of the Sahara. That's part of what life is about. What does that mean? Why is that before a person goes and builds that inner Mishka? So there's sort of no threat to the Sahara. We're not bringing godliness into this world in the way that we should be, what we're meant to be doing in this world. What it means to be a Jew in this world is to be a place for our Kash Bku to dwell. I'm supposed to be a mini Mishka. I'm supposed to be a small mishka. I'm supposed to be a place of ashina. And when I go forth and do that, when I accomplish that, when I succeed in that, it's fantastic. I'm doing what I'm supposed to do in this world. But the guitar freaks out, oh my God, this, this person is bringing God into the world. This is what I'm supposed to fight back against. And the second that Mitch Kah goes up, I'm entering into that battle with the Iha. And so, yes, a kaku says, you really wanna bring me into this world? It's not so simple. It's a struggle. You have to work for it. And so the cloud comes in des sense. I would think that the second I bring a Kash Burko into this world, and I make myself a ishka, should be super easy. Barely an inconvenience, just traveling along the world. Everything is good. It's not how it works. That's when the tests come, that's when the challenge comes. If I'm inviting a Kash Burko into my life, that's where the challenge is gonna begin. When a person goes, has AKA, a person goes and gets married. So a person goes and gets married. It's not like you search and you date and you go through the struggle of dating and then, oh, I found my bus. She and I get married, and now it's all good. Now it's just a smooth ride. No way. As hard and challenging and honestly horrifying as the dating process can be, it's incredibly challenging. When you finally go without, you meet your bus, she, and then you get married, there's no smooth sailing. That's when the beginning of the work of the relationship truly begins. The dating and and the search is the preparatory step. It's the preparatory step to find the person. It has its own tremendous, deep, important avodas, but there's a whole separate Voda, which this is all a HANA for, which is the work of marriage itself and the work inside of that marriage. When does that begin? The day after the wedding, the cloud comes down, the pillar of fire comes up at night. The second that you build that home, that ba, that Mishka. Famously ham. When you have a husband and wife come together, the shina comes down. It's bringing aina into that home. The cloud comes down too. The fire comes down too. Why? That's when the work begins. Because when you put yourself into a situation where you create the great potential to build incredible things in this world, an incredible bite in this world, a be aan, a place for me and God to unite as one in this world, in myself, in my heart, then the work needs to begin. And so the cloud diss descends, and there's lack of clarity. There's doubt we've all experienced, I'm sure at some point in our life, many of us have experienced what it means to have that cloud descend upon us. Where everything is good, everything is clear. I'm flying with the Q Bku, and then things get challenging, and I'm not sure anymore. Is the Q Bku really with me? Why is he testing me like this? I, I studied so hard for this test in graduate school, and I, I got a 78 into you. I said, with more Ana than I've ever said in my life. I cried my eyes out by the time I finished, the min was done with ma just because of Al and I got a 78 even listening. I don't understand how could there be sickness in my family? How could somebody be? Why are you doing this to them? Why are you doing this to me? I don't understand so much darkness in the world of experience lately. I, I don't understand October 7th, I don't understand why my husband is going out to war, why he is getting called back from me, Liam again and again and again. I don't understand why it's years in and, and almost every other night I have to go and get my kids at nine o'clock at night because now that's the new time that they've set the stopwatch for themselves and bring my kids into the ade when the sirens go off. You know?'cause there's, people are firing rockets at us.'cause I want meant to re because I wanted to live in your holy land. Could sperl, I don't understand. And the cloud comes down and there's lack of clarity and there's issues of faith and issues of Una and there's darkness and there's he upon him. I open up a safer and I don't feel it. It could be big, it could be small, it could be earth shattering things. It could be the most personal love things. But the second that I build a mish and I need to know the cloud is coming. The cloud, not, it might descend, not be prepared for it to descend. The cloud is guaranteed to descend because I've committed to this relationship and says, good, you committed when things aren't as clear. Are you really in this? Are we really in this together because I'm here? Are you here to be in it with me? It's a challenging concept, but it's also, it's a very deep thing. I once heard from Dr. David Kovi. I'm a very, very big fan of, he's, he's an incredible, incredible, an insightful psychologist. I think he could be around if he just bothered to get Mika. if you could find any of his rum, there's a whole bunch on, not a whole bunch. There's a bunch on YU Torah. anything you could find of his is gold. He's an amazing storyteller, engaging speaker, and a brilliant, brilliant psychologist. And one of the lines that he says that, really stuck with me, he says to name the monster is to conquer it. It's a very powerful line, which is so often the biggest challenge that we have is that we don't even know what we're fighting against. The uncertainty, the lack of clarity that can really throw us and really drag us down. To name the monster is to conquer it. If I know what it is that I'm battling against, if I know what it is that I'm fighting against, that's part of the road to conquering it. I need to know if I wanna bring God into this world, if I want to be a Mishka, if I wanna be a place for Hasina, I know that I'm going to experience the cloud. I've named it. I know it's gonna be there, and I know that a qbo who's giving it to me that can allow me to conquer it. This is not unusual. It's not strange. It's not that it doesn't make sense. It's not that. How could this be? I finally made a mishkin and now I'm struggling. Why? No. I knew it was coming and I'm ready for it. I'm ready to battle through it. I'm gonna battle through the darkness. I'm gonna battle through that kish burro while I'm here with you. You can make it as dark as you want. You can turn all the lights out. You can hide in whatever quarter you want. I'm committed to, I'm going nowhere, nowhere. We're in this together. I built this Mishka for us, and I'm staying right here, and we are going to build this house together. We're gonna put in the work, and we are gonna build the shallum bias of this mishka inside of me, and I'm gonna bring you into this world. And so too at night. So too, by the age of Tiva, the pillar of fire, which is representing the fire of desire inside of me. The second I build a ishka, I wanna, I'm so holy, I have a Q bojo inside of me. Yeah. Creates things in equal in opposite balance. If you're that big and you're able to bring a Q bar inside of you, then your Tiva is inside your desire. Physicality is going to attack you in ways you've never seen before. Say, how could it be? How could it be that I was sitting at the Han in my inner Mishka eating the ham with a Q bar for lunch, and then I go out to dinner and I have a tiva to eat food with my friends, where the Hector is not really a great hre. How could it be that I was sitting this morning in the base me rush, holding hands with a K barko as I learned his Torah, and now I'm sitting next to this person who it's usher to touch, and I have a tiva to touch this person. How could it be? Yeah. If you're gonna build a ish qbo, the fire of TVA is gonna come. You're gonna have an ignition of TVA that you've never seen before, but you gotta know it's gonna come. If you want to be that holy, you're gonna have to have the fortitude to fight it back. If you're gonna say to a Qal, I'm committed to you and I'm willing to give up for you, then when the TIVA comes, that's the test. Are you really committed to me? Or is it convenient? Are you committed to me because it makes you feel good? And if I give you this other thing which could also make you feel good, then really it's about you and you feeling good? Or are you saying, no, I'm willing to sacrifice to be in this relationship with you at Kish bur to name the monsters to conquer it. The second that niche come goes up, the cloud descends. There's lack of clarity. Fire and TIVA comes up and there's deep desire to fight back. That's what these are telling us. The cloud comes during the day and the fire comes up at night. So How do we engage with this? How do we understand this? so he goes forward and he quotes now the rest of the, and once the cloud would go up, then so would follow the cloud, which seems very strange, meaning the cloud came down on the ISHKA and we're saying the cloud represents a Q Bhu taking away my clarity, it represents Hester PanIN. It represents a lack of Una. It represents darkness in my relationship with a Q bou. And then the second that the cloud lifts and starts moving, we go after the cloud. Why would we follow the cloud? Why? It's very deeply saying here, because a Jew understands that these tests aren't random tests. Who's not just messing with us? We're not hamsters in a wheel in a cage that a Kash Burle is looking at. For amusement. A Kash Burle iss bringing me a test. He's bringing the cloud down intentionally. He's bringing the fire out intentionally, and he's bringing my cloud down on my mishka, my fire, out of my tithe on my inner life. He's bringing out my tests. These tests were given to me. This cloud was given to me. This is my cloud, my fire. Why? Because they're individualized for me and Maya vo Hashem for one purpose. It's not to torture Mi Ka. It's not just to test Mi Ka. It's to help me get to my ultimate destination of good everything by Ka bur who is for the good. And so when Sir lc the cloud rise up and travel, they follow that CloudNet, they follow the cloud Mad. Why? Because that cloud, that darkness, that lack of clarity that has upon him, that is what's taking them to the next great height. That's what's taking them to the next level. It's that darkness which brings a person to the great next step that the first Jew, what do we know about him? He was given 10 tests and he withstood every single one of those tests, not he was given 10 tests. When you look at those 10 tests, really the 10 tests begin the moment we meet ish at the end of par all the way until he dies. Those are his 10 tests. The story of A is the story of his 10 tests. Why? Because the 10 tests weren't to torch A, because A understood what a gift ha, who's pushing me further, and these 10 tests are my life. They're pushing me to accomplish everything that I was meant to accomplish. I didn't know what I was capable of and I didn't know exactly what I was meant to do. But these tests that who's giving me are bringing me to become the person that I was here to become. Madre, Aviva, Shalom, A, that everything that accomplished, all the great heights that he achieved, he got to all of them through these tests. His whole life of these tests. It's an understanding that it's not just that there's a guarantee that if I engage with Kush and I bring a Kaku inside myself, that if I'm going to engage Kaha, there's gonna be Toma. If I'm gonna engage Kaha, there's going to be a force pulling me to go against the Kaku. That's true, but even deeper than that, he's saying, he's saying the next step is to understand it's not just coming. Connect exists, not just coming to test me. It's not just coming. to see if I'm committed and to what extent it's to bring out in me the extent to which I'm committed, it's to bring out the next layer, the next stage of my relationship with the Kurdish bur and the journey of my life. The test is how I get there. Going back to the M of a marriage, husbands and wives, the most of their lives should be, should be good. There should be shabi. We for it, it's fantastic, but in any normal and healthy marriage, there's also stress and conflict, and even sometimes fighting. On the one hand, that's bad and a person wants to continuously work on their mid dose and work on their stolen bias to make sure that doesn't happen. On the other hand, there's a level of inevitability. Now it's all scaled. It could be that the inevitability by one couple is that there's simply tension and pain and hurt that they need to talk out. Could be by another couple. They're chucking plates at the wall, wherever a person's holding, right? That's not, we're here to judge at the moment, right? Whatever person's holding, but the stress in that marriage. If the marriage is a good and healthy marriage, there is an underlying understanding. Things are very bad now. Things are challenging now. Things are stressful now. Things are uncomfortable now, but we're going to get through it. But it's not just that we're gonna get through it. Through that challenge comes growth. Anybody who's been through an argument, a really deep, big argument, if a person's not married with a close friend, with a close family member, with a parent, whatever the case may be. If you go through that and you actually work it through and remain committed to that person and the relationship with that person, the struggle itself alters the nature of that relationship and actually elevates the relationship to the next level. It's an incredible concept. The only way to progress is through resistance, is through difficulty. It's true in the physical level as well. A person wants to go and they want to go to the gym and they want to grow and they wanna get big in the gym. That's why it's called resistance training. That's literally the term for it. The only way to simulate growth is through resistance, is through pain, is through challenge, is by pushing harder than you thought you could push. Ana, who mirrors spiritual truth and physical reality? When do you see physical growth? You see physical growth. When you actually push to the point of resistance and pain and challenge and difficulty, you literally grow to a new level, right? La el in a marriage and in a relationship, right? When you push those boundaries and you work on it, you take it to the next level. And Laja also with a q bur el to the gym, to a relationship of marriage, which is also very kush, but la to a marriage also by a Kurdish bur a Kurdish Bur is coming and he's pushing us. He's saying, are you really committed? I, I, I want to, I want you to understand how much you can love me and how much I love you, and I'm gonna add challenge here, I know I gave you the 78 on the test. I know you studied hard and you really thought that I was gonna just drop all that medical knowledge in your brain in order to be able to succeed in your pre-med or your whatever it is that your graduate school that you're doing. Then you thought that that's fine, but you know, I, how can I, I'm not, you asked me for dot, I said, okay. I decided to go by de Eva. You didn't put in enough hours to study. Can we get through this together? Can you understand where I'm coming from? You understand where I'm trying to push you to? Maybe it's to show you that you should study more or study differently, or study better or not. Just simply rely on an ace. You know, like I, I dunno what it is. Nolo, A person gets sick. That's a real challenge. A K, you hurt me and I have to assume it's the tova, that there's a reason for this and there's an ultimate good that's coming from this. But can I be able to reconcile with you despite the challenge that we're going through, that you did this to me. I'll never forget, I'm sure I've mentioned this story many times, but this moment and this person in general had a very big impact on me. I had a friend who lived on the block, very, very special guy, finished shas, was starting a SHAS again. He was running to train for the HAS marathon and while he was actually running to train to raise money in the has marathon, so he, uh, he found himself breathing in and out very, very heavily. And I felt something was wrong. And he went to go get checked out. And he, that was how he found out that he had lung cancer. It was during the time of Corona also, remember when, during Corona when it was lighter and people were starting to come back to shul. So we had all the windows open and everything. we stayed distanced from each other, but uh, but he was in chemotherapy, so he had low immunity. So he was standing outside the shul, outside the window, and I, he happened to be that the place where he put his stander next to the shul outside the window was right next to where I stood. I remember finishing Shaone Eser one time, and it was Kazar shots. And I turned and just looked out. I, I was just looking out the window to looking out the window, and I saw him standing there. And you see this guy, his whole wife is committed to Al Torah, his kids ra ed raising money, and he's standing there in shul, KRA Hasat reading the safe air and Muna in challenging times. I mean, what an incredible person. Most people say, I'm gonna read the book and see if I want to come back to Shua Ka. He says, no, no, KA I know we're gonna work this out. I'm coming to shul and I'm continuing to talk to you and communicate with you and relate to you, and I'm working on my relationship with you in the midst of that CI got five minutes Kazar shots. I wanna deepen my aune with you in this challenge because I know that you're giving this to me and there's a reason for it. a pushes us. He's pushing us to the next step. He's pushing us to the next place. He's pushing us to the next destination. That's the goal. And the beauty of what the bringing out is the cloud is gonna come down and it's going to test me. It's gonna make things dark and difficult, and the fire of TVA's gonna fire up. All of that's true, but it's not just to survive it, it's to become somebody I never could have become without it. Know that AK was giving it to me to bring out levels in me that otherwise would never have emerged in my relationship with him, like the husband and wife, who never, hopefully they won't fight. But when they do, when they struggle, when they argue, when they have friction, whatever it is, whatever level they're on, it brings them to the next level. Ku, this is level. And then that cloud comes up and I get a reprieve and I get to just sit and enjoy being in the presence of AK Boku for a few minutes, but at the same time, I'm holding his hands and I'm running after the cloud, which is insane. Jews are insane'cause we see the truth of the world. We run after the cloud. Let's bring on the next test. We don't ask for it. That's a big thing. Like MA says that very explicitly that it's possible that the test of BVA came on, David, because David said, KA test me. I wanna grow. He said, you're asking me to test you. I'll give you a test. Let's see what happens. So we don't ask for a test, but the idea is that we follow the cloud. We understand that the test is bringing us to the next level, and I would say on a more deep level, honestly, if a person really wants to be a person of growth and greatness, that there is an understanding that when the cloud rises up and then travels and we're following that cloud, it's not just that we get a reprieve. It's not just that we get a chance to take a breather before the next test if we deeply understand what just happened, then when the cloud was on me, when the cloud was there and I struggled and I fought through that Muna, and it forced me to grow in ways that I never thought I could grow, then I need to adjust to the new me that has emerged. Meaning that reprieve isn't just a chance to rest and sit back and relax because nothing's going on. Something very important is going on. It's a readjustment process and interesting in all the examples we gave, it actually parallels. A person wants to go and they wanna grow in the gym. Anybody who knows anything about the gym knows that as important as it is to work hard, consistency, intensity, technique, you gotta work hard. But equally, you must take rest days. And if you don't take rest days, you won't grow. because you need a chance to stop and rest for the growth to actually take effect. Same thing. Let's jump it up in not in Les to a marriage, in a marriage or relationship with a friend or wherever it might be, right? When you do achieve that next level, so your whole relationship just changed. You now have a deeper commitment to each other. You understand each other in brand new ways. You understand sensitivities in each other that you never knew before. I. You can't just jump to the next argument, jump to the next piece of friction, jump again. This would be a fight jump to the next friction that you need to work through to understand each other better. You can't jump to that. Your relationship just changed. On the one hand, yes, it's a chance to breathe, but that rest period is a rest period. To be able to enjoy being in each other's presence and the new relationship you created through surviving and growing through that challenge. And then once you settle into the new relationship that you forged through, overcoming that challenge together, okay, now you're ready for the next challenge to grow and get to even deeper levels of connectivity, even deeper levels of understanding, even deeper levels of growth, and on and on and on and on. And so with a q Bur, if I'm able to overcome, if I'm able to understand what a Q Bur was trying to tell me when he gave me the 78, this is not a true story, by the way. I'm obviously not pre-med. I never had any ambitions to make that kind of parnassa. Um, but like, you know what? I got the 78 on the test. Or again, if in this situation, a person's sick and they go through that illness and they suffer through that illness, and they, come outta that illness. The other side. Well, what did I grow through that? What happened to that? What do I understand through that? In terms of my relationship with the Ka boku, my relationship should change. Not that it can change, it should change. And if my relationship with God changed and I have a deeper level of una and understanding of ashaka and understanding of in my life relationship with him, then I need to settle into that to live that, become that with him in my inner mishka. While we're doing that, we're following the cloud until it's ready, until La Ka spark's ready to settle that cloud down again and say, okay, let's go through another period of darkness. To be able to find even, to be able to draw out even deeper light in our relationship that can light up. Even this deeper darkness means an even better way to say it, that the darkness gets deeper and deeper and deeper each time the cloud comes down because through each time the darkness comes down on a metaphoric level. Each time the darkness comes down, I, it shows me that I'm able to create an even greater light despite the depth of the darkness. And each time I create a light that's that bright, okay, I've got a sparklings of deeper darkness, shows me I can push myself to create an even greater light in our relationship and even greater light of what I shown in this world, even greater light of ashina in this world. It's not just a test, it's guiding me to the next destination. And that's what it was by Vin New Iswell. Going back inside the text on the top of the next column, he says. From You give to those who fear you. What does that mean? He says means a test. Those who fear you. I give tests test after test after test to those who fear you are constantly going through tests, but also means greatness. The is also the nace of a ship is the mast of a ship that's the tallest part of the ship. It also means greatness tall, something which can be seen from far away like a miracle it's so startling. It's so great. It draws your attention to it. Like the mast of a ship draws your attention to it. It's the highest part of the ship that's drawing your attention to it. In order to test me and to make me great in this world, a test is making me great. It's giving me greatness by allowing me to bring out more godliness in this world, greater ashra in this world. In order to achieve greatness, I need to go through these tests. The is teaching this to us in this par that the cloud is constantly over us, that the fire is constantly burning inside of us. when we erect our inner mishka to know, to name the monsters, to conquer it. This is the nature of the life of a Jew. If you're living life right, this is what it should look like. This is what it will look like. Life, which is just test after test. But again, to reframe it, it's opportunity to grow after opportunity to grow, opportunity to bring godly ness into this world. After greater opportunity to bring godliness into this world, opportunity for godless, nace greatness after opportunity for true greatness. All this comes through giving to AKs, those who fear him. Test after test, after test that the moment that the anan, the cloud comes off the mic, when the darkness goes away, they travel, vote. The second the cloud leaves, we travel. What does that mean? The second the cloud leaves, if I've succeeded in that test, I'm traveling. I'm just going level upon level, upon level. I'm jumping up level after level after level in Avo jam, in godliness, and bringing myself close to a cottage, borough. Every time I succeed in that test, and I follow that cloud up, up, up, up, up, and it brings me to greater and greater and greater heights. It's the friction that allows me to go forward, that allows me to progress in my AMO over my lifetime. Next paragraph. He says. He says, there's a whole nother angle also we could take here in terms of our, In the lifetime of a Jew, there's times of light and times of darkness, and a ju needs to know that whether they're in a time of light or a time of darkness. It's all, it's all a guiding the way. And even in the dark times, a Jew has a destiny and a job and a purpose, and an voda, just like in the light times. When the cloud comes and covers the mish, covers me up and brings me to a place of Hester, of hiddenness and, and darkness than my Voda. In that moment is, is to serve a, within the hiddenness, to serve a within the darkness and not to be moving forward. It's the idiot who goes forward and walks in darkness. The idiot wants to keep going forward and walk even when it's dark, but you can't walk forward when it's dark. The job then is to make sure that I don't fall. When the cloud comes and covers me up and I'm in a place of darkness, what's the destiny? What's the goal? What's the Voda right now? To rest, to Encamp, not to journey to accept who's brought me at this time to serve him from a place of Esther. Upon him, it's very, very deep what he's saying. He's saying to understand that there are different modes in life. And especially when I'm going through a time of light and everything's clear and everything's great and I'm going and I'm ding Oh, you know, I'm gonna come 10 minutes early to davening and I'm gonna stay five minutes later and I open up a safer and learn, I'm gonna come back and I'm gonna have morning Seder. and I know that I was only planning to do a few pra him or a few dopp him or whatever it is, but I'm gonna do extra do him. I'm gonna do extra pra him. I'm gonna do extra pages of, of Z I'm gonna learn extra, whatever it is I'm flying. And then the HEPA comes, then the darkness comes. And I've seen this time and time again with Ed and this sense that I was flying five minutes ago, and then everything got dark and it got difficult and it got challenging, and they try to continue to push forward with the same intensity as when things were light and it's wrong. He's saying it's wrong. Voda in the time of darkness is AK Bjo. I'm going to commit to serving you where I stand despite the darkness. You light the way and I follow you. And if you don't light the way, if you take away that light and you instead, Baha and I accept it, and it's fine, and you're in charge, you're akko, it's all good, and you bring the darkness, you shut down the ability to see the path forward. My Voda is to stand firm and right now to be the best that I am as I am right now. If I try to gain ground, I'm gonna hurt myself in the process and I'm gonna be less for it. My job is to dig my heels into the ground. It's dark and it's scary, and it's frightening, and it's uncertain. I will not move. I will not be shaken. I'm not gonna try to kid myself and follow my ego instead of you and try to run forward in the darkness. I'm gonna hit a wall, but I'm not gonna let myself slide back either. I know you are testing right now and saying to me, you are a Voda Hashem in this moment, is dig your heels in the ground and keep serving me right here. And don't lose a single inch because don't worry, the light's gonna come again. The light will come, and when it does, we'll travel forward together again. But I'm not gonna lose an inch. That's the goal. Back to the argument with the friend or the family member or the spouse, whatever it is, right in that mushroom. When the next challenge happens, dig your heels in the ground. If last time your spouse said to you, your friend said to you, don't ever speak to me like that again, and you're at the next argument, the next moment of friction. I. We're not gonna take the relationship forward right now. We gotta deal with what's going on. We gotta deal with this challenge. But I remember what you said last time, and we grew last time, and I'm never gonna speak to you like that again. I'm never gonna turn my back and walk away again. I'm never gonna raise my voice that way again. I'm never gonna slam the door that way. Again, if I grew from the last one and I became somebody new, then the Voda in the darkness is now is not the time to move forward. But I refuse to lose a single inch of ground that I've gained because I'm committed to you and we've progressed and we've moved forward. And I'm not turning back. Neba. A person gets sick before and they work through their, and they say, I'm committed to you. And I understand that sometimes this happens and I can, and I'll be able to see. Maybe it's after I get well, and maybe it's only in the end of days and maybe it's only I'll be able to understand. I'll be able to understand. But last time I learned what it meant to be a mom in a time of sickness. This time, I'm not moving forward right now because you made me very sick. I don't feel great, and I'm not flying in my davening. I'm not flying in my learning, and I can't even let myself down to the base me rush. But I'm not given a single inch back of every bit of growth in my commitment to you and my am and you and our connection to each other from the last time I got sick. That's the commitment. That's what it's about. And the darkness. My voda is stand your ground and the IHA will tell you. Whatcha talking about. If you can go forward in the light, you can go forward in the darkness. You're gonna stop now. Iha is begging you. He's waiting for you to sprint right into that wall and break your nose and then get angry and start yelling and screaming and cursing out. God, when really it was you and your ego that made you run forward in the darkness. You stand your ground As the past says, when the cloud would be on the Mishka for many days, the has, so the Jews protected, they guarded the charge of A and they didn't go. What is it telling us when the Anan stays for a long time as. You sit there and you safeguard the charge of a Q bku, you brought God inside. It got dark. You hold onto him for dear life. That's the Voda and that is the greatness of that moment. That's the growth of that moment. That's the beauty of that moment. That's the voda of that moment. To guard the purpose that gave me the charge that gave me in the world right now, which is to serve him from within the darkness. But don't you dare travel. It's not, the time says this is not the time to go. This is not the time to progress. And when the cloud would go up from the tent, then they would go and travel. The second that that cloud goes up though, and who lights the way, then you move, then you go and you start walking. Then you push and you push and you push and you push. Don't get comfortable in there either. You're dig heels on the ground until it gets light again. But once it lights up, you move.'cause then there's now I can get closer to you. I can get farther along in my VO in this world. I can get farther along in who I meant to become. Go the second it gets light again. Em hear the death of the, according to Ahu, you stop and you un camp. And according to Ahu, you travel. But they're both em. It's the same em. God says, stop you. Stop. God says go. You go. And that's how you go from level to level to level to greatness. S all from Ahu guiding us. Y wrote, there are certain people and certain times where Kara, who wants them to serve him from the darkness. And there are people and there are times. Who says, I want you to serve me in the light. And they're totally different. S and even when the Cloudish covers me completely, no, it's not from themselves Bringing it is asking us to DA serve from that place of darkness. It's an incredible limo. Again, it's an incredible thing in general, and I know we're long past the Mishcon par of Safer Schmo. but the Mishka's coming up again here in Babar, and it comes out through Ash and for that matter, to recognize the fact that when Ak Bur, who's teaching us about the Mishka. Yes, it's very beautiful to learn Liman, to understand what the Mishka was and its dimensions and how it functioned. It's incredibly important. It's the place of Ashina, but every single time it brings up the Mishka ask, what would the Vo Shalom say? He would say, how does this apply to me? How is this about my inner Mishka? How does it apply to me right now today since the Torah is eternal and I have a Mishka inside myself? What is this teaching me and what this pu look? It's what a small pu look. It's teaching me my whole life. My whole life is to bring a K Burko into myself, and I bring KD Bjo into myself. There's gonna be cloud, and there's gonna be darkness, and there's gonna be challenge, and there's gonna be fire, and there's gonna be Tiva. And I need to dig my heels into the ground and fight to stay close to him and grow through the challenge, and grow through the fighting, and grow through the Hester upon him and grow through all of the difficulty to get closer to him and closer to I, who I am meant to be. And then when that cloud comes up to Ron. Run closer to a kararo who run and embrace everything that I've accomplished, running it closer to him and embrace him and run to the next test. Not to invite it, not to ask for it, but a whenever. When you decide I'm ready for it, I'm following you and I'm following it because I know that everything is from you. So one last thing to understand. The Mishka, and I heard this from my rabbi of Amos so beautifully. It really totally transformed my understanding of the Mishka. He said so deeply, he said, we so often dismiss the Mishka. We think of the Mishka, like I mentioned all the way at the beginning of shear, that the Mishka is this, you know, this temporary dwelling that a Q spark gave us ne, until we get to Yu and Weik, and then we can get rid of it. Really? Is that what the ISHKA is? Well, where's the Ishka Go see? He says it's a Gamar. Navo seen the Gamar inside. the Gamar. Navo says that when. The Mishka was basically decommissioned. They took the Mishka, the caem were gonna go into the base of Mikdash, but the actual, the walls and the tapestries and the curtains and all these things. Where did they, they were ion, where did they go? Says that they were buried under the beam mash. As the gamar Za, it says two things to take away from that and their life changing. Number one is, what that means is, is that the foundations of beam, ash are the mishka. The mishka wasn't the temporary dwelling until we get to the main deal. No, the foundation of the beam ash itself is the mishka. And what that means also is that the be is the ultimate goal. Today we should see the be built, but until then, the be it comes and goes. By came, it was destroyed. Shani came, it was destroyed. It comes and goes. The Mishka never gets destroyed. And when who's telling us who that is and it's so deep, the base ash may come and go. And you may come and go from Es and you may, you may, but we're giving over this. She, you may have just finished an Oliver Chabe or you're in Israel, or whatever it might be. And now you're going back to t the arts, whatever the case may be. Or we're in a, because we don't have a Mik, but we always, always, always have the Mishka. The Mishka never gets destroyed. The place of Shaina that we're meant to have in this world called the Be Mik is always meant to be and is always supposed to be. And we're dabbing during our back every single day. And we're fighting during back every single day. Yes. But until that happens, where is ha in the Mishka That never gets destroyed inside of me by the who says. I dwell within Cly, even if they're telling me, even if we sin, even if we lose M, even if we're exiled, even if we're in a situation where we're living in E Soul, but we're still in the state of college. Nobody. I'm with you ces qbo. I'm with you. We need to live the Mishka every single day and the tour is telling us how to do it. And the si Shalom is telling us how to do it, how to live the Mishka. Kara should bless us to have the strength to put up and to create that internal mishka, to bring the Shina into our internal Mishka. To name the monstrous, to conquer it, to know the challenges that are gonna arise because of it. It's know that Kara is the one who's bringing them, and because he's bringing them, it's meant for us to grow, to dig our heels in the ground to become greater. And then when I become greater and stronger through that challenge and darkness, when the darkness goes to be able to run into the light. To follow the cloud and follow a kku to greater and greater heights in your em by achieving those heights, greater hasina in this world will, you'll be able to see the ultimate hasina in the resting of that third base. Everybody. thank you so much for tuning into this week's episode. If you enjoyed the episode, please rate the podcast and hit the follow button and join us every week for a new episode. Once again, thank you so much to our sponsor. And a reminder that you too can sponsor an episode of the podcast, email rabbi turnoff@gmail.com For more info or to share any thoughts, comments, or feedback on this week's episode. See you in the next one.