Tisha B'Av - The Deep Love Underneath the Pain

In this episode, we are learning the Nesivos Shalom on Tisha B'Av, the 9th of Av. 

If you want to follow along inside, it is in Nesivos Shalom on Bamidbar page kuf tzadi vav (196). You can find a pdf of the piece here.

This week’s episode is sponsored anonymously in the zechus of a refuah shelaima for Ben Tzion Chaim ben Shayna Necha. Thank you so much to this week's generous sponsor! If you would like to sponsor an episode of the podcast, please email Rabbi Charnoff at rabbicharnoff@gmail.com.

Transcript

Rabbi Charnoff 0:01

Hello everyone. This is Rabbi Robbie Chernoff, and you are listening to the Hasidis for Life podcast, the podcast where we learn a deep Hasidic insight every single week and explore how it can lead us to a more meaningful, vibrant, and spiritually uplifted life. In this week's episode, we'll be learning the Vo Shalom on the three weeks and Shaba av. If you would like to follow along inside, you can go to the show notes for a link to a PDF. But please feel free to just sit back, listen, and enjoy the ride. This week's episode is sponsored anonymously in the Fuma for Ben. Ben, thank you so much to this week's generous sponsor. Remember your sponsorships, our Make This Podcast happen. If you would like to sponsor an episode of the podcast, please email Rabbi chernoff@gmail.com or see the show notes for more details. Alright, with that, let's jump into the Nevo Shalon. We are on the three weeks on be. We are in the back of the bar on page the second piece. So he starts off and says, tell us that when the enemy came in to destroy the beta, they ripped open the curtain to the KO and to at least my astonishment, everybody's astonishment. Not only did they find the VIN there, as we know that the cum miraculously, whenever Clare would do Raton Hashem, they would gaze lovingly at one another. And whenever Clare would go against Raton Hashem, they would miraculously face away from each other. And when the enemy came in at our lowest point, when they came in to destroy the bean ash, they didn't find the VIN facing away from each other. They didn't even find the vin gazing at each other. They found the crew, him embracing one another, which was never seen before, which is crazy to think about. How could that be? You would think they wouldn't even be facing away of each other. They'd be on opposite sides of the ship. At the time of the ban, we sinned so greatly that a kbo was throwing us out of er, sterl and destroying the base of Mikdash. And yet, not only are they not away from each other, they're embracing each other. How do we understand that? And that's what he's saying here. This is an astonishment. This seems to be implying the tremendous love, the, the love of say like we just sat outside, bite. The question we just asked, if Al say that when they were doing che, they would gaze loving at each other and when they weren't doing che, they would gaze away from each other. How could it be at the time of the ban scored everything we just said? How could it be at the time of the ban that they were embracing with each other? How could we understand such a thing? Bottom line of the first column? We also see an astonishing me top of the next column. The tell us that there is no, based on that, there was never a, there never will be a MO for cla like the day of, the destruction of the be. How do we understand that as being called a Moy? It's a time of ban. Of sadness. Of destruction, of despair. Why is that the day of Moy? Why was that the holiday? How can you even say such a thing? How do we understand the says in the name of the and another farm? So this time of the year that we're in. In English called the three weeks. Now already when we're recording, we're already in the nine days, but the nine days are part of these three weeks in Hebrew, the term for the three weeks is called ham between the rais in the narrow place, right? When I'm in a situation where I'm in pain and I'm in discomfort and there's so much going on in my life that's making me distressed, I feel like I'm very narrow in my thinking, right? If you've ever been in a situation where, let's say you've had a physical illness. You can't have these big, deep, philosophical musings because you feel the pain constantly and it's drawing you narrower, narrower into the moment, into that illness, into that pain. if a person is going through difficulty with family, they're having a fight with parents, they're having issues with their spouse, whatever the case may be, you can't have these big picture thinkings about things. Your, your mind is in a narrow place. You're having SARS with your child in the bacca, you having issues with your child. Your mind is in a narrow place. That's Bain Reem, meaning we're in this narrow place. This narrow space, because we're in this time of corban, of destruction, it's narrow, it's constricted. I feel just like the walls are closing in and I can't think about anything else'cause I'm in so much pain for what's going on with the impending loss of the Mik. And the term hamre between the straits in this narrow place, it comes from the pass. All who run after her will overcome her and in the, the, I assume, destroy her in bere in this time of be Sare. But how do the S understand this pa? They say, no, no, no, no, no. We're gonna read it totally differently. What is Cole wrote? He si be. Anybody who's running after and desperately wants to grasp and to get close to, they can achieve this when, meaning anybody who runs after a Q can grasp and connect to a qsar. How do we understand this? So it's the beauty of has it, the beauty of has, there's many levels of the beauty of has, but one layer of the beauty of has is not that it has has sometimes this. reputation of sort of making things up. The beauty of has is taking the, the Amar the of a situation which seems down, which seems negative, or which seems disconnected or seems irrelevant or whatever it is, and, and digging deep into it and seeing no, what's the vo hashem and what's the positive side and what's the message that's uplifting me? That haku baked into that pasta he built into that puzzle. It's revealing. The beauty within that suk in an uplifting way, but it was always there has just bringing it out. So the simple of the Suk? Yeah. That all of our enemies will overcome us. The be Vietnam, me, SAAM, and the, and the Bazi would say, no, no, but there's a deeper meaning to this time. If you wanna Q bur you wanna find him, look for him. You'll be able to get him in. Be Vietnam saam. But we have to understand why it can't just thumb say it. There has to be meaning to it. Why? What does that mean? Where is that coming from? Where is that taking us to? So he says here in the. Al, we cannot understand this based on when you have a king, when he is sitting in his castle and his ish in his throne room, how you gonna get to him? Nobody can get to him. His closest advisor is other dignitaries, but me, little Robbie sitting here out in the fields. I can, I can't get to, I can't get to the king. I have no access to the palace. Let alone the inner chambers, let alone the I'd never get there. I have no access to the king. Not everybody's proper to be able to come. It's not proper for anybody to go before the king, but there's a crazy time when the king wants to go somewhere. When the king goes traveling, when the king leaves his palace and gets into a chariot and starts to drive and starts to go down the path starts to go down the road. Then anybody can get them. Because he's Momish, he's left his inner chambers. He's left his palace. And he's able to be accessed based on this, the next page. It's so sad and it's tragic and it's heartbreaking, and we're about to, it shouldn't happen this year. We see the base buil, but if we get to Shabaab, we see the base, something that's destroyed. BA's gone. The house is gone. So where does the king go now? The king goes and starts traveling. Yes. Leave the house. The house is gone. And even though we're broken and we're in tears and we're in pieces because we lost the base on Mik and we lost the closest of the in that way. But now the king is on the road. Now the king is on the road, and this is a time where anybody who wants to go and get to the king, the king is right there. You can jump and get to the chariot. You can call out him, you can run to him. He's momish outside where anybody can get to him. Anybody who runs after him can get him in. And we see from all of these statements that we just read, and hopefully we'll start unpacking'em even more deeply. From all of these wondrous statements we just read, which seem counterintuitive, we see how the tremendous capacity exists from this deep darkness, this epitome, this apex of darkness that we're in. In this time. There's this tremendous light that's hidden inside that the KVM are embracing that this time will be a moment. It's, there's, there's a light here that, that sometimes in, in our generation when we're so busy giving over the corban and we're trying to get everybody to cry, or if you're in a, a shul situation where Aunt Tisha and you've, those of you know me for a while, know that I lament over this, where, where you sit through. Four hours on t shaba of morning of people describing castic structures in keynotes that we don't understand, which is, I think, even more painful to reading the kena, right? It's like you wanna go and you wanna feel something and like we're all talking about, no, it's Alf be and it's ach, it's backwards, it's this, it's that. And you have to understand the historical context. And it's like, I thought we're here to cry. I'm just bored. Um, right. it's a very, very difficult time of the year to get into. And even when we try, we try to get ourselves into the sadness. And that's an important thing. And we talked about that in the previous episode, that the longing is what brings the beginning of the binya. And that's true, but he's saying that underneath that, inside of that, there's this light, there's this tremendous light that's hidden inside of bi Vietnam Miar next paragraph. How do we understand this says there's two different types of an Aon of a time where Kara, who was waiting for ARTAS is hearing Artas. There's an of a time where the king has a very successful, a brilliant, successful child. Ish that the king always has tremendous honor and glory from this child of his, this prince of his, from all of his actions, from his, from his wisdom ze, that this brings a reality of an ace Raton by the king, meaning just re to speak to the child, to speak to his son. He has such, it brings him such honor'cause he's such a brilliant kid. He's such a successful child. There's a different type of, also, he has a child, a child who tries, but he's never really successful. He doesn't really able to do much, and he constantly needs help in order to succeed. There's also of the ne child. Because by the child who's, you know, the, the ham, this wise, successful child, it's an, when it comes to that child because he loves that child. He's impressed by that child. It brings him honor. He, he wants to give to him. It's great, but by the ne child, okay? On the one hand, it's ne child. On the other hand, the king knows that if he doesn't take care of this child, the child isn't gonna make it without him. He knows that the only way for the child to make it is if he supports him and takes care of him on his own. He is not gonna be able to help himself when we, because of this. There's a rahim from the king that gets brought out from the fact that this child needs him in order to exist to continue to succeed. And the meaning, the, the Tela, the cry, the, the needs of the child who's not able to succeed on his own can be even greater than that of the child who's able to be successful. Because again,'cause if he's on his own, he's not gonna be successful at all. And he says, and if you plug it in, that was the reality of the time of the ban. In the time of the ban, we're still a, we're still the children of the king. We're still the chosen nation, but at the time of the ban, we're in the reality. We're in the state of the ne child. We're not making it. We're not being successful. And on the one hand, the king is upset and he's angry, and he is frustrated, and he mom is destroying the base of me. That's because of our actions, a hundred percent. My people without me, they don't have anything without me. They can't make it. This was the worst situation, the lowest situation for israel, and at that time of the ban, there was a tremendous a zone because it's tremendous Rahim, the mercy and the love of KU for Israel. A, because of the tremendous rock, because of who saw how low we were, we were so lowly that we caused the be mito, that we lost the be the love and the rah and the mercy, and the care and the closeness, and the connection and the desire for success and the pain of a boku for us. Came out at that time, and it was such an overwhelming outpouring of Rahim and love of mercy and love and care that the Kian mirrored that. Not by gazing at each other, but with a hug. The hug of a father to a child when a child doesn't get to into the college they want to get into when the child doesn't get onto the sports team, when the child gets made fun of by their friends. The child does poorly end their job and loses their job. There are times in life where we, where we fail, there are times left where we fail and the parent can come down, but the parent sees that the child is doing everything that they can and all they need is support. And the child. There's a look that a, that a father gives a child when the child hits the home run, when the child gets, there's a look in the eyes and they see each other and the smile, and that's the gaze of the crew in one into another. But then there's the hug. There's the hug of the father to the child who fails. There's the maternal hug of the mother who puts her arms around the child when the child trips and falls and fails and doesn't succeed. It's a whole different type of ahaha. It's a different type of love. It's a different type of care. It's a different type of connection, but it's so, so deep. It's incredibly deep. And this type of a, this type of auspicious time to Davin, to pray, to get close, to feel connected, even not, even though there's disconnect, not even though there's failure, because of the failure, because of the pain, and because of the love that's underneath that failure and that pain. It's even greater than the moad on a certain level because of the moad. We're singing in dancing in the base of M, we're seeing a's face. We're bringing the Corbin face, we're receiving the Torah, we're building the circus. Everything's valdi. So that's on the level of mo, but this is a level of no. It's a time where the be is being destroyed, is not lovingly gazing at us. He's hugging us. He's ish hugging us, and therefore there was no day like the day of, the destruction of the be. It's an incredible way to look at it. We so focus on the pain of it and the negativity of it. A Ka who's angry at us, he's smashing the base of Mik is not an angry God. A kahu is not a vengeful God. There are times he does show anger. There are times he does show a face of being vengeful. Yes. But deep down he is a God of love and care and we are his children. And again, whether you have children of your own and you see those children fail, and all you wanna do is give them a hug and be there for them and support them and hold them and raise them up. Raise them up. I was learning a piece, I was learning something from Little says with one of my kids this past Chavis, and it was talking about how no matter what AK you have, you have to use it to serve a Q Barko and that your job in life is to take that and, and, and whatever, you know, special ability you have and unique thing about you, you to serve a Q Barko and one of my kids, and, and he is not a Neva, he said, well, what about me? I don't have any special talents. And, and, and it breaks your heart and it breaks your heart. When you see a kid like that, you talk to him, but you also wanna put your hands around that child and hug them. When we came to the ban, this level of, we had to have to lose the base of Osh, the level of, of, of, of a lack of Mir mitzvas, of slapping a Q bko in the face that we had to have in order to lose the base of mic. Is awful. Is terrible. It's so crazy. It's so crazy. Who says, deep down, I know you love me and I know you want me, and I know you wanna connect me and I know you wanna be with me and I know that you're broken, that you built this thing. I, I had had the tremendous experience. I after it took me a bunch of years to slowly on and off go through Tana, so I finally finished last year on. And sim plus Torah. And so I took it upon myself. I said, ER, to, okay, now that I know I can do it, let's do it for real. And so I gave myself one year to do a second C and then I'm gonna move on to other things and expand, et cetera. And that's my own, you know, journey in learning the Seder. Um, but, but when you learn all of Tanach in one year, you see it differently because first of all, it's the second time going through it. So I'm seeing it in a different context. And second of all, you, you see it so close together. You read Safer Machen. Cover to cover, right? M Bed is a fictional distinction made by the Christians. It's, it's one safer. You read machen from cover to cover. You're doing a bunch of pra per day, and you do it in in, in a few weeks. Honestly. And you're at the beginning of Malmo is building the base and I have this, you know, safety here that I got. It's called T and i I'm going through and I'm slowing down on the PKI so that way I can learn and understand, not just read the pki, but I wanna learn the pki. What did the base look like and how was this entryway built and what did ya Boaz look like and how was the, the, the thing on the top of the pillars situated and. All these different pieces, like truly understand it and, and, and the gold and the extravagance and the beauty and the engraving on the walls and the doors, and you're reading all of this and you're like, this is amazing. And you get to the under safe of machen a few weeks later a. I, I can't describe the inner sense of tragedy and heartbreak and pain as, as the kings are stripping the walls of the gold to give away to other kingdoms in order to save themselves or to buy help in order to save from different enemies. Or at the end, when it's the end of Malachim, it's mam is destroyed. And, and it's like, it's, it's not, you don't have the hundreds of years in between. You don't get to experience that in that way. It's just you're reading, you spend all this time learning what the base of Miash is, and you watch it being stripped for parts by Jewish kings at our lowest point, stripped for parts, giving away the gold, giving away the beautiful power, all the beautiful parts of these fish, and then eventually the just the non-Jews coming in and taking whatever they want as they destroy the base and made their shit at the end. It is tragic. It's so painful. We lost. We did badly and it cost us, and of course we were crying at the corban. Was it our fault? Yes, but it doesn't change the fact that we were crying. And AK, who on the one hand, it's, he shows a face of anger and destroys the be of mic and allows the be of myth should be destroyed. It's at the same time that the, that tension and that complexity within a parent to be able to show a face of anger so a child knows they've done wrong and understands the reality of consequence. Well, at the same time, crying at the need to show that face of anger and to be the one to meet out that consequence to that child. At the same time, the anger and the tears rolling down their face and afterwards, after taking the beautiful thing that the kid built because they were acted so badly and having to destroy it themselves to be able to put their arms around the child and say, I'm sorry I had to do that, but you made it happen, and you have to understand the severity of it. You have to understand, but I still love you and I care about you, and I'm crying with you. I'm not just gazing you, the kvi are embracing at the ban that that's a sentence in the gamara and al that you can't just skim over. We spend so much time and if you're learn with me together, parsha Par, have the Parsha Chat, ONU Torah, we speak so much about that gamara of the kru, gazing at each other, gazing away from each other. We talk about it so much. We spend so many hours unpacking that concept. How do you skip over a line where the one time in history they embrace, there's also an embracing on the social go in a different way. But the one, one of the times where it brings out the one very rare times that they embrace is at the core button. How do you not unpack that? How do you not unpack that? There's another layer here. He doesn't bring it down here, it seems. Maybe he will, if you keep going. I'm pretty sure that it's in the Benet sahar, but I might be wrong. He has a beautiful explanation of that Gamara, again, bringing out another layer here of, of what's happening underneath the darkness of these three weeks underneath the darkness of the nine days underneath the darkness of the shaba. He says so beautifully that there's a halah, that when a husband and a wife are going to be separated for an extended period of time, husband's gonna go on a business trip, whatever it is. So assuming that the wife is ert, there is an obligation for the husband and wife to be intimate together the night before the husband goes away on this trip because it's, it's, it's an expression of the deepest levels of connectivity, physicals, spiritual, emotional, complete connectivity between the husband and wife and just bursting forth. That's going to carry them through that experience of distance, then that will allow them to again, reunite when they come back together. Says again, I believe it's the Benet and I would not be surprised if so. It's very much in line of what he would say. The Benet says an incredible shot. He says that was happening. Akash Bur who says I'm about to destroy the base. Ika, you brought this about. I'm about to, but I love you. And when the non-Jews opened up. What did they see? They saw the crew embracing, like a husband and a wife, a Kara who says, I'm hugging you. I'm embracing with you. I'm being intimate with you like a husband and a wife right now. That's how close we are. That's how Bond, because we're gonna be going away from each other for a very long time, and I need my love for you to stay through these 2000 years of exile. And so there's an expression of love that's exploding on AV at the ban. That there never was before. Says, I love you and I need this love, this expression of love, this clarity of my love for you, despite everything that's going on, despite the fact that you're angry with me, that I'm destroying the base of mash and I'm way more angry you because you caused me to destroy the base of mosh. All that's true, but underneath it, I love you more than anything else in the world. I need are gonna need to hold that for the time that we're gonna be apart, for the time that we're gonna have this distance, and that's that love that's gonna bring us back together. Layers upon layers. Here, A who only acts with love, he only acts with love. That's where everything comes from. Even the ban. It's coming from a place of love, so many marmar that backed it up in stories and ideas and concepts. Those of you may be familiar with the concept that mo, that if brought down in many places. And that if Mo would've been the one to go in and build the base mo in the, he's the of means victory eternity. It's brought down that if Mo Shaina would've gone into Rael in the one to lead Benet into Rael, he would've walked through the enemies. No physical war. They would've fallen before him. Sachin's victory. They would've fallen before him. Miraculously, no military battles marched his way to Yu built Bes Onik, which would've been amazing, but also really tragic because had we sinned and we see that we would've sinned, the beam MTA that most Shabana would build, that would've been forever. It's brought down who said, I don't wanna take out my anger on Ol and Destroy Claral. Better that I'd be able to take my anger out on sticks and stones and bricks and metal than on my people. And so Mosher Bino, one of the reasons built into the very complicated structure of why Mossino was not allowed into Ari Israel at that time and will be bi in the future. Is that a Kash Burko wanted to make sure that he could destroy the beam ash if we sinned this badly and not destroy us.'cause that's how much he loves us. It's all, most of it are not going in. It's coming from place of love. The beams being able to be destroyed. It's coming from a place of love. So much love is coming out at this time. If any of you have ever been at a painful moment in your life, you go to your loved ones. There's no joy, like the joy of embracing and being with loved ones in a time of joy, and that's all that we want, and that's what we daven for, and it should only be that way. Ms. Butman should only be that way, but there is a comfort and a connectivity, and a bond and an intimacy when you go to a loved one in a time of pain and failure and distress. That can't be replicated. It's its own unique reality, if you will. It's its own a ruan. There's an a ruan of ra, but there's an a ruan of pain and we're, if we dig deeper than the surface, we can enter into this ace rutan of pain that beneath it is love and care and compassion and closeness. It's an incredible concept and something that we must tap into anti shaba. Must tap into, some of you have heard me say this before, but uh, when I was in Mika, there was a certain individual who was assisting, um, one of the rab, one of the Osh Shiva. And we were talking one time and he said, you and I are very different. Uh, this was not ish to me. I was like, yeah, probably we, we were a little different. Yes. And he said, you know, he said, you. You are a Perim Jew. I don't understand Perim juice. I was very moved by that. I aspire to be a Perim Jew. I don't think I am, but I aspire to be. I was very moved by that and he said, he said me, I'm a T of Jew, which was like so wild to me on so many levels. To like claim that your connection to reality and existence is, I, I feel the pain of exile and distance and hoban and crying and sadness and depression. Like, you know, somebody, somebody gave this guy a pill. Like, like, like what's, like what's happening here that, like you define yourself as a, as a tissue above Jew. And to me what's so wild about that is, is that there's no distinction between a perm Jew and a teach above Jew. And that's what he's saying here. If you are a real Jew, you understand that you sing and dance with no restrictions and with complete abandon and love for on Purim, and you hug God with all your might on Purim. If you are a real Jew, you understand you are hugging God just as hard just from a different inner space. That's the MS of it. That's the MS of it. That's where JU needs to get to. That's what makes AV real in a way that's meaningful and eic and constructive and bonding and leads to bion. How does crying and avelos ever lead to bion? How does, how does low self-esteem ever lead to Binion? How does berating ourselves and telling us we're nothing and sinners and losers ever lead to Binion, but our father hugging us and telling us, you made a mistake, but I'm here for you and with you and I love you. Let's try to do this better and Right. Let's try to take it again. Let's start from the beginning. Oh, now we can build again. Now we can get to a place of being. It's a beautiful, it's a, it's not just a beautiful thing he's saying. It's profoundly deep. It's that we don't talk about enough. Let's see where he takes it Next. Next paragraph he says, he says, let's, let's go a little bit deeper. Let's take a DA little bit of a different angle. The love of is on a level of says, you are the children of we're God's children. And the love of a father or a parent for their child. There's three different aspects to it. There's the simple, the obvious, the shot level of love at the time when the child is close to them. And was in their house and the parents is just overwhelmed with an AVA for their child. The had an even greater level that there's a level of Ava when the child is distant from the father and can't be seen by him. They can't connect. He, he's just longing for the child. And the more distance there is between the father and the child, between the parent and the child, the greater the longing. That's level two. And then there's a level of love that's beyond all of those things. He's saying there's a whole other level. Got very intense here now where the child ish is dying, the child's died and he needs immediate surgery to save his life. And the father's a surgeon and the father needs. To cut open his child in order to save his lives, that on the one end he knows that he needs to ish cut open and do surgery on this child in order to save him. And on the other hand, he the pain that the parent feels, then he has to go and cut open his child. His mom is hurting, he's damaging, he's causing pain to his child. At the same time, both are true. He feels that pain and he's crying, but he has to do it to save his life. In the, the inner world of that parent's heart meet. There's the biggest Ava that there ever was at that moment, and like that, there's the love of a Q for tap in the next column. This tremendously strong love that has no end, that has no limit like the says, I love you. And as it is brought down that Sadiki who Amish work on themselves, they get rid of all of the false AVAs that there are in the world. All in the false love there is at the world. Any love other than a K bku, they try to remove from themselves to focus all of their love. Only on a K bku. What's the only love that they can't get rid of the only love, they can't shed the love for a child. You can't shut love for a child. So that way they can experience their love for their children to understand how much loves us, the love of the ultimate parent for his child, cla Israel. And based on the Michelle that we just gave, when that father, that parent, father, or mother needs to go and do surgery on their child meet, there's the greatest mercy and love that comes out of that parent. At the time of the who said, my child is dying. Claudia Trail is dying. Every time they sin, they're chipping away at their life force. They're chipping away at their eternity. They're chipping away at their Alam Haba. They're chipping away at their connection to the source of all life, which is me. Their mom is killing themselves, and the only way to save them is to do surgery, and the only surgery to be done here is I have to go and not take a scalpel. I need to take my hammer. I need to destroy the baus. That's the surgery that needs to get done to save its life. That's the only way. It's the only way. That on the one hand, and this is the side that everybody focuses on and we need to see deeper. On the one hand, it seems like the biggest MI there ever was that is complete judgment from ak again, in anger is destroying the, but in its essence deeper than that. Look, they look deeper than skin deep. Deeper than the shot of things. Aba, who's infinite, let's not treat him in an infantile way. He's infinite. When Ahu comes and does something, he, there's depth. Why are we looking at it? Only on the surface of things. Let's dig deeper into what's going on here. He's mish a parent who's going and taking the scalpel and cutting open the child in order to save his life. And he is doing it in, its painful and it hurts, but it's the only way to save the child. He's doing it with love and with mercy, and it's specifically at the time of the ban that this, this mercy and this love, that's, again, it's not a mercy and the love that we're looking for, we want the mercy and the love of the child. Who's the, who's dancing before the king? Who's the, who's the wise child? Who's the successful child? It's the, okay, yeah, you're right. That's what we want. But it doesn't change the fact that in these moments in our lives, in our personal lives, in our national lives, in the Isha bas of history, and we had at least two, we had at least three at the time when we had also rag in the Isha Bas of history. It may not be the type of ham and love that we want. To come out from AK Bku to us, but it doesn't change the fact that no matter what we do, it elicits a reality of rah and love. From AK Bjo, we have access to feel and embrace and internalize a love and a from AK Bjo, like a parent who has to do surgery on a child, that level of, of love and care and pain at the same time. To feel that from him, auntie Shaba. And that's why the more embracing he says in the deepest of places and the reality of what's going on. Is endless and at the time went on the externals. It seems like the worst of situations. Everything is bad. He says, I know that you don't see the love here, but when they go and they tear down the base on Mik and you're crying because you think that it's only anger and vengeance. When they rip down that roha, when they break through those doors and go into the code Chaan you, I don't, they won't understand what they're seeing. You're gonna see the crew of them embracing each other, and you're gonna understand in the deepest chambers, it's all coming from love. And there's only love here. Even though it hurts, even though it hurts. That's what it means when Al say that there was no MO for ral, like the day of the destruction of the. And as it says, like the past says, because that was revealed, the tremendous, the mercy and the love without any end with the says. Meaning read the, when you read the Kar from a place of distress, I called out to answer places of distress. What does it mean when? When does KU respond? Where do you see the biggest outpouring of the response to a Q? When we call out from a place of distress? When I'm in my worst situation, that's when the love pours out. That's when the love and the response and the closeness is coming out for the child. Again, we don't wanna be the neba child, but in these moments where the neba child and that love comes out, da, where the child is in need of immediate surgery, the love and the mercy comes out in such a tremendous way. Next paragraph. Based on this we can understand this saying these 22 days of that, they come opposite to, they come in pair with the 22 days of the moad of the beginning of the year, also 22 days. There's a parallel. 22 days, 22 days of there's the same light. It's the, it's different, but it's the same. It's totally different, but it's exactly the same. It's the love of a parent. One's the love from a place of pain and support, and one is love from a place of closeness, but it's all that love. It's this, it's the, it's the flip side of those 22 days. Kim sotu and Beitar is buried within it. This light of tremendous. And based on he says, and if you follow this pattern, so the last day of these 22 days is, and the last day of the days that start on the first of Tiser, the last day of those 20 days is rah, the biggest day of outpouring of love, where we take the safer Torah and we hug it. We sing and dance around it, and we hug it, and there's no more lu love and no more etro and no more Sah. There's just us alone together. It's the flip side of that coin. Hugging, hugging out of love and hugging out of pain, but a love that's coming out of that pain. A KU that's coming out of that pain. And it seems is the biggest, the biggest for and more to talk about that when we get closer to sim. It's One of the absolute biggest days of the year. This day of complete unity. So again, we're hugging a Q, we're hugging the Serah. There's so much to say about that, but it's this deep, deep day. It's one of the biggest days of the year. Like similarly, that love that's coming out of that, the VIN hugging each other, the how could it be the opposite that. Like the, that we gave before is on a level of like a father who has to do surgery on a child sha that again, at that time when he's doing the thing that looks like Dean and it's painful and it's negative and it's harsh. It's all coming from love and mercy, and there's tears of love and mercy coming down that parent's face. it's the flip side of the coin, but it's the same level of outpouring of love. On the flip side of the coin. Vi Kain. Top of the next page, Cole wrote Za and that's why anybody who ish runs after KU in this tremendously auspicious time can grasp him, can get to a, in this time of be Koha wrote, anybody who goes and wants to connect to a Q. He will be able to grasp him to connect him. That's daf the time. This is daf. The time that we can get close to a Q and to feel a different aspect, a different layer, a different angle of that same love that's pouring out, that's Momish pouring out at this time. The three weeks are a complicated time. The nine days are a complicated time. Tisha AV is such a complicated day. You know, we all get to a place where we dig deep and we feel the pain of the ban in a way where we're able to cry on the base of Ash. Over the base of Mik says people, a person who cries over the be of Mik and the laws of the be of ash. We be able to enjoy the simha when it's rebuilt, but it's not crying over stones and it's not crying over mortar, and it's not crying over wood, and it's not crying over metal. It's not crying over any of these things. There, there's a level of crying because we lost something. There's a level of crying over death and destruction. There's a level of crying of, uh, and an important level of remembering the tragedies of our history and all of those things are in very, very important. But we need to get to the deeper layers of all holidays. But perhaps, especially sot shaba a the day that perhaps that perhaps there are many, many Jews out there who deep down think of themselves as t Shaba, aav Jews, like this Jew that I met when I was in Mika. I think there are a lot of Jews out there who see themselves as maybe ironically so maybe sarcastically, so. I'm so far away the best I can do. Maybe at least I'm a Tisha above Jew. There's a real depth to being a Tisha above Jew because a Tisha above Jew and a and a Perm Jew are all one Jew. If you get to the essence of what it means to be in Isha Baha, if we get deeper than the outside, deeper than the ban, deeper than the destruction, deeper than the, than the massacres that occurred over time, dig deep to the. At the center who is crying over us and with us who's embracing us, the proven that are embracing at the time of the ban to feel the this unique expression of love that comes from hugging the child who failed and knowing that if he's hugging us when we failed, if we finish crying with him together and we hear his rebuke and we commit ourselves to him. We take his advice, called his to in his mitzvah, and we embrace his love, then we can, we can get to the greatest heights that anyone could ever achieve because we're doing it with a Q for Q. Q we can accomplish anything. Can mish come the next day? Can ish come that day? M can be born on because it's a day of love. And that love can build anything if we open ourselves up to it. Kaku should bless us to be able to cry devo, not just criteria of destruction, to criteria of longing like we talked about last week, and to criteria of love of feeling Q burro who hug us as he's, as he's slapping us across the face, but tears of love. That there's love in that slap, that there's love in that destruction. There's love in there to feel that, love to cry with him. To take his hand and to walk towards the bion with our heads held high, knowing that together with the Q, we can become anything and we can do anything, and he's here to help us get there by all of us. Thank you so much for tuning into this week's episode. If you enjoyed the episode, please rate the podcast and hit the follow button and join us every week for a new episode. 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