Jennipod
It's ya girl Jennifer, ya know, from Fairfield.
Jennipod
Jennipod Epsiode 9: I'd rather listen to sideline reporters, than go to the DMV
• Reflection on the name Jennifer and its historical context
• Examination of sideline reporter interviews in sports
• Nostalgia surrounding crockpot cooking and recipes
• The necessity and controversy of video in podcasts
• Personal experiences navigating the DMV and REAL ID process
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What's up everyone. Welcome to Episode 9 of JennaPod. I am your host. It's Jennifer. Do you think the name Jennifer will ever become popular again? I once saw it was the most popular girl's name back in 1982, along with the Tiffany's, jessica's, stacy's, stephanie's. So go ahead and ask a teenager today is Jennifer giving old lady name vibes? When does my name resurgence come? As far as I know, jennifer isn't a biblical name. Anywho, no pressure, but name your child after me Jenipod Jr, jenipod II, genapod the second I am recording this Saturday, march 1st.
Speaker 1:Goodbye February. Hello March. We are approaching patio outside drinking season, which is the best time of the year. Fuck fall. It turns into winter. Yeah, yeah, football, but it takes the sun away and that is malo. That is muy malo, malo, malo for all my Spanish-speaking listeners.
Speaker 1:Hola, speaking of football, I adopted a new quirk this past football season and now I do it every single game I watch, and that is when the sideline reporter it's generally a woman goes and interviews the coach before they run back into the lockers for halftime. Why have we not scrapped this segment? It's useless and it makes me uncomfortable. I'm not saying the actual sideline reporting isn't important, I'm just focused on the coach's interview and the poor coaches are probably like Jesus. Here we go again. Imagine your team is down 24-3 at halftime and a microphone is shoved in your face. This is when I start acting out scenes in my fireplace room. I will now be playing the role of a sideline reporter and coach for a team that is getting destroyed at halftime. Sideline Reporter Coach. What do you need to do the second half of this game to get the groove back, coach? Well, wendy, we need to advance the ball 10 yards to complete first downs and then get the ball in the end zone for touchdowns. Our defense has to stop the ball and scene. New scene your team is winning before halftime. Sideline reporter Coach. What did you say to your team before coming out here today? Because, wow, this performance, coach. They knew what they needed to do today. They followed our plan and the offense is making touchdowns. And scene. Anyway, either get rid of this segment or let Snoop Dogg do it. Also.
Speaker 1:With winter ending and spring upon us, the close of crockpot season is here. I'm kind of sad. I mean it doesn't have to be, but when the heat index is 105 in Nashville, I don't need piping hot chili. I hate cooking, but I will fuck up a crockpot recipe with some delicious dinners. If you call a crockpot a slow cooker, just quit listening to this podcast. Now Wikipedia recognizes it as a slow cooker. Ugh, and I will be writing my senator about this.
Speaker 1:Slow cookers achieved popularity in the 1940s when many women began to work outside of the home. They could start cooking dinner in the morning before going to work and finish preparing the meal in the evening when they came home. I tell my husband all the time, if he lets me stay home, I'll have a TV dinner and scotch ready at 5 pm every single damn day. The branding Crock-Pot was introduced in 1971. Wikipedia has a banner under the article called Disadvantages Like um, okay, what is negative about this Crock-Pot situation? Quote from Wikipedia Some vitamins and other trace nutrients are lost, particularly that's a hard word particularly particularly, oh God, particularly particularly.
Speaker 1:I can't say it. You know what I'm saying. Let's try that again. Some vitamins and other trace nutrients are lost, particularly. There we go from vegetables, partially by enzyme action during cooking and partially due to heat degradation. I like that word.
Speaker 1:Now listen, I'm not using my crock pot for its nutritional value. I'm throwing in blocks of cream cheese for yum-yums. I will also toss in some whole baby carrots into a crock pot, because I am scared of knives and I will never cut up a carrot if it is not necessary. And maybe a baby carrot grosses you out. But you can go talk to your therapist about that. We here support farmers and their baby carrots. And now I'm going to let you in on the crockpot appetizer I have been taking to parties for probably 20 years. I call it chicken dip. I've had friends call it chicken crack. My godmother was part of a cooking club in Cleveland Ohio and passed this on Cleveland Ohio and pass this on Cream cheese, chicken, cream of chicken soup, jalapenos. And then you need your tortilla chips. Buy them Cheap, easy Crowd favorite. Back in my party girl era days, nothing was better than waking up at 7 am, the crock pot still on warm and with a pounding headache, the joy of having instant hangover snacks. Drop your favorite recipes in the comment section below.
Speaker 1:Buzzsprout emailed an article this week about the pressure for podcasters to embrace video. But is it really the next step for every podcast? As you know, I could video record myself podcasting. I don't even know how to do that, syncing video and audio, and then y'all could watch me on the YouTube. They go on to say, of the top 50 podcasts in the world the ones with the biggest budgets, teams and resources only 37 publish video on YouTube and just 8 use video on Spotify. That means a significant portion of the most successful podcasts aren't bothering with video at all.
Speaker 1:As I am typing this, I realize Buzzsprout has their own podcast called Buzzcast, so I need to listen and learn more about what I can do with this platform. But I like all that info because after I started this I was like shit, do I need to be on video? As a huge consumer of podcasts myself, I'm happy with audio only because I'm listening in the car or while I'm doing chores around the house or while I'm on a hot girl walk. So sorry, for now you only get my voice Because, also, this podcast doesn't make any money. My girlfriend Reby told me she listens to political podcasts and corporate recruiting podcasts and that sounds horrible and we could not be any more different. My top five favorite podcasts right now are Camp Counselor's podcast with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson. Number two probably a podcast with Shannon Ford If anyone knows her in Nashville, tell her, I love her. The Dating Detectives the Most Insane Stories. Number four, correct Opinions with Trey Kennedy. And number five, as I've said before, my newest obsession the Severance Podcast with Ben Stiller and Adam Scott.
Speaker 1:I don't know what the hell happened after last week's podcast and me promoting the Kroger Boost membership, but I shit you not. Monday morning I received an email from Kroger stating that the membership was going up by $10 and they're rebranding it Boost Essential. When I hear boost, I think of the nutritional supplement drinks that older adults generally have. At one point my grandmother had weight gain ones and I kept drinking them in her apartment and it turned into that scene in Mean Girls when Regina George finds out the protein bars she's eating is making her fat Kroger. I'm not sure why the rebrand, because I don't think we are needing to make grocery delivery sexier or really even worry what it's called. It could simply be Kroger delivery. That is what I call it. Anyway. I'll also be writing my senator about this. I'll also be writing my senator about this.
Speaker 1:I had to go get my real ID Friday morning. Well, let me rephrase my license was expiring on Sunday, so I had to go. Some of you are risky and will let that expire. I'm not that girl. This also coincided with me getting my real ID. The only people I had known that had gotten the real ID were my parents, so I put a poll up on my personal Instagram asking people if they had updated their license to the real ID. After 15 hours we had 58% yes and 42% no. 58% yes and 42% no. And for those of you who didn't answer my poll, shame on you. I know I failed statistics in college, but I think the goal is to have as many participants as possible. If you don't know what the real idea is, I will tell you, and I will also tell you my hell journey to get one. And by hell I was at the DMV Friday morning for three hours and 20 minutes. I had no food, no water, but I made some friends along the way. We were basically hugging and cheering each other when our numbers were finally called, kind of like when you win a raffle prize.
Speaker 1:Passed by Congress in 2005, the REAL ID Act enacted the 9-11 Commission's recommendation that the federal government quote set standards for the issuance of sources of identification such as the driver's license. Essentially, the REAL ID is a new license you will get and, if I understand correctly, everyone's will have a star in the top right corner. I just have a paper copy right now. I got the letter about it, dated December 2nd, but I didn't go until the last day possible. Actually, not on par with my personality, I think I procrastinated because January was 10 years long but February was only two weeks long.
Speaker 1:Allegedly on Wednesday, may 7, 2025, you will need this ID to access certain federal facilities, enter nuclear power plants and here's the big one board a federally regulated commercial aircraft. Yes, in layman's terms, that means to go fly-fly in the air with Southwest. You gotta have one. Or you can utilize your passport, but your passport better not be expired. Can utilize your passport, but your passport better not be expired. If you recall, they have been talking about this Real ID for over five years and had to keep pushing back the deadline because of COVID. Well, the time has come and I want to go to the airport on May 7th and see what happens, because it would be very entertaining. I want to know how many people can't go through. Tsa Is Real Ideas scam, who knows? But the scam cost me $28.
Speaker 1:I arrived at the Franklin Driver Services Center at 8 15 am, 15 minutes before they opened, at 8 30, and I was literally the 100th person in line. Thank God I took off work. It was a very nice building. I didn't take any water or snacks in because I didn't think I'd be MIA. 13.8% of my day, pro tip pack a cooler. At one point I saw a boomer get a pack of Altoids out of her purse and I almost begged for one as a snack. If you own a coffee breakfast food truck, get your ass out to the local DMV. You would make a killing. I overheard a man whose fifth teenager was there doing the driver's test. He said he had dropped them off at 6.30 am to stand in line. This guy was a professional.
Speaker 1:Once we got inside the building there was a woman who forgot COVID happened and basically wanted you along a wall hugging the person in front of you to get more people in the building. I was supposed to meet friends at 11 am for lunch. Did that happen? You bet your ass it didn't. I can't enforce this enough. You cannot have plans after the DMV during this real ID nonsense. At one point there was a man across from me who was having his car worked on later in the day at his home and he called the dealership, panicking like I'm stuck at the DMV man Like you got to come closer to five. He looked so distraught. Also, do not take your children to the DMV, as there are zero children activities. When my parents went last year it took like 20 minutes. So, yeah, maybe shouldn't have waited until the last minute for an ID hundreds of millions of Americans need.
Speaker 1:At 9.30 am I finally made it to the main information desk to show my documents to then be assigned a number. I then sat for two hours waiting for R13120 to be called. The girl working this desk had to interact with every single human and she was the real MVP. A couple times she got up and had to go into a back room and I elbowed the young man next to me we had been together since 8.15 am and said Do you think she goes back there and screams in a padded room? I do, I would.
Speaker 1:My biggest fear was getting to talk to the MVP lady and not having one of my documents. I saw it happen. It wasn't pretty. I saw a guy get risky and left to go get an early lunch. You've made it 90 minutes, guy, why leave now? I'd be terrified to leave. I've worked too hard to get where I am. We got to see the Donate Tennessee workers come in and change out the organ donation banner. That was exciting. Also, the DMV is like 50 levels more casual than the airport. I'm always fascinated on how people will dress among the public. I would just recommend taking a friend, a book or drinking heavily while waiting to spice things up.
Speaker 1:Now I kind of made myself look presentable for my picture. I didn't go over the top but didn't want to look like a gremlin. Now, when I was 16 getting my first license, I remember being more stressed out for the picture than the driving test. I was tan, blonde, skinny, full of hope, had a tight purple v-neck shirt on from Express. I looked hot. All my licensed pictures since then have been atrocious. So again wasn't really worried about how almost 43 Jennifer is looking. However, the best part of the day for me was watching a grown woman I'll say late 20s, early 30s have a complete meltdown about her picture and I mean I was giggling out loud because I was delusional from lack of water. She was able to use the kiosk on her own because she was just doing like a simple change of address, like baby girl, unless you go missing or commit a crime, this license picture is going nowhere. I don't think the likelihood of this work of art ending up on the 5 pm news is that strong. I don't think Officer Jones will be worried about your hair when he's pulling you over for a DUI Mackenzie at Applebee's checking your ID for your 32-ounce McUltra doesn't care about your makeup. This girl was distraught in telling the DMV worker like can we do another one? This is the worst picture I have ever taken and I love that meme that's like oh, you don't like how you look in this picture. Well, that's what you look like. My family knows that if I go missing, they are to use my 2014 headshot I used for Titans tryouts. I don't look a damn thing like that anymore, but I think that picture will help ratings and appeal more to viewers.
Speaker 1:Now. I did have a horrible, terrible, fugly passport picture before In 2009, when I lived in Tulsa. I had box-dyed hair, bangs and the flu and I was on a time crunch to get my passport completed to go to Mexico. We went to Jamaica in 2013, and when I arrived, the women reviewing my passport and customs were audibly pointing and laughing and I was like I know I was fighting for my life in that passport picture.
Speaker 1:Back to the DMV, once I finally got to the real, real desk to talk to someone, it was a very pleasant experience. He asked me it wasn't too bad out. There was it, sir. I see three of you right now and I can't feel my legs. He also said he's not sure how hardline the May 7th date will be at the airport. He said he's already heard there are certain areas pushing it back.
Speaker 1:My guy also asked me my height and said are you still the same weight? And I said, guy, we should probably add a little more on, because I haven't seen that number since 2017. And he said you know, we all change. Maybe I should start a fake real ID company. I figured a podcast out. Still can't do a Google Doc, but just give me a 3D printer, a ring light and Venmo me $250. And don't worry, my Venmo feed is private. All right, y'all, happy March and have a great week. Genapod is directed, produced and edited by me, your girl, jennifer. Please rate, review and subscribe to this on Apple Podcasts, spotify or wherever you are listening to my lovely voice Laters. Thank you.