Jennipod
It's ya girl Jennifer, ya know, from Fairfield.
Jennipod
Jennipod Episode 10: I am not taking your sailfish to a wedding reception
In this milestone tenth episode, Jennifer reflects on turning 43 and shares nostalgic stories about MTV Spring Break culture, her college cruise adventures, and her self-appointed role as the wedding reception entertainment specialist.
• Celebrating podcast milestone with a reflection on turning 43, described as "the most uninteresting age"
• Recalling MTV Spring Break obsession and the Panama City trips that defined high school senior year experiences
• Sharing wild stories from a 2004 Carnival Cruise with 100 Miami University students
• Discussing relationship relics and home décor disagreements, including a 19-year dislike of husband's mounted sailfish
• Confessing to creating a detailed spreadsheet of wedding reception music with a strict "Do Not" playlist list
• Offering wedding reception survival tips, including the essential advice to pack backup shoes
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What's up everyone. Welcome to Episode 10 of JennaPod. It is Sunday, march 9th 2025. If you are new to the pod, welcome. Go back and listen to some other episodes. Get to know Jennifer of Fairfield, ohio, fhs, class of 2000. Being on episode 10 is exciting.
Speaker 1:When I randomly and I mean randomly started this podcast January 5th, completely without a plan, I didn't know where it would go. But this week I had my first bot reach out to me via email or maybe it was a scam artist asking me to be a part of their podcast network, be a part of their podcast network, and even if it was fake, I was flattered. I did find the social media of the person who emailed and they did seem like a real person. But parts of the email was very silly. I wanted to respond but I didn't. I'm just saying either a computer or a person went into my show notes, got my email address and AI emailed me and that made me feel special. I've made it.
Speaker 1:I turned 43 this week. Has to be the most uninteresting age, kind of like 37, maybe 53. I am not a birthday person at all at all. At work it's taken off all calendars and don't you dare get everyone in the office to sign a card for me and I don't know what happened to make me the way I am. I'm not scared of aging. I'm not scared of dying.
Speaker 1:When I was young, I was obsessed with my birthday. I have had some randomly low-key celebrated birthdays after 30. I had a get-together at Disconcider in Nashville for my 40th. That was fun, great bar. I think it's the pressure for it to be the most amazing day of the year and that is too much. Really, my mom's the one who should receive a prize for birthing me. But I do love hearing from people. But really it was just a Wednesday. I worked. It was cloudy and gross, didn't feel like doing dinner. Now, early March is tricky because sometimes it's 75 and sunny on my birthday and this Wednesday it was like feels like 25 degrees. So you win some and you lose some. How do I bring the magic of birthdays back? Maybe it needs to be a sleepover with friends. We go see a movie and then let's get La Rosa's pizza, and by sleepover I mean a hotel room with my own bed and we are going wine tasting in Napa Valley. Maybe on my 44th birthday I will be doing something epic TBD Spring break 2025. See you at Senor Frog's bitches.
Speaker 1:I was supposed to be in San Jose del Cabo this week with my mom but I was unable to go. I got to go last year for spring break. It was sick. I thrive with old people. However, I am dog-sitting Honey, aka Honey Badger, while her family is somewhere tropical for spring break. At one point my home became a kennel for spring and fall break around here and I kind of had to rein that back. It was getting out of control.
Speaker 1:Growing up, I was obsessed with MTV's Spring Break. Obsessed with MTV's Spring Break. According to Wikipedia, it played from 1986 to 2005 on MTV and then from 2006 to 2014 on MTVU. I don't even know what that is. I'm talking 90s Daytona in Panama City. It was a religion for me and I daydreamed about being there, just 13-year-old me watching the notorious Big performed, big Papa, probably sitting in my pajamas eating a bologna sandwich just waiting for my party girl era.
Speaker 1:Now, I never got to go on a traditional spring break until my senior year in college. If you are from Fairfield Ohio. When you were a senior, everyone went to Panama City. My best friend Reby and I weren't allowed to go. I don't remember being that upset because, like, yeah, that sounds about on par for what our parents allowed and didn't allow us to do. The stories that would come back to school every year after that damn trip. It was the gossipiest tea ever. Who drank, who got arrested? Who had S-E-X? Some of my most PG friends that are still a part of my life went and I'm just like, yeah, there is no way their parents knew what the situation was. I may be wrong, but it sounds like these days parents will help organize senior trips for senior kids. So parents go and it's more supervised. Back in the late 90s it was the Wild West, with zero supervision. I do wish I could have gone to experience it, just for the lore. I always love seeing photos that circulate every five years, even though I wasn't there, years, even though I wasn't there. Some of these photos would end up in the yearbook Silly.
Speaker 1:Anyway, fast forward to spring 2004, and 100, I repeat, 100 Miami University students went on a carnival cruise. It was a week of complete debauchery. I had a boyfriend at the time and I think that was good because it was like I had the buddy system, a home beacon, if you will Like. There's my person. We end up together at the end of the night.
Speaker 1:I have described my obsession with being prepared for all scenarios, and that was apparent even during college. On some of the weekends in the summer we would get 30 to 40 kids together and go cabrooing in Indiana. Cabrooing is when you go canoeing with alcohol. I would pack pretzel rods to make sure even the most blackout child had food, and I would take a gallon-sized Ziploc bag and would hold everyone's licenses, because there was a rule if you were drinking and the po-po, canoe and po-po pulled you over, you had to have one on you. Hey, I would even hold your car keys. I would not lose them Because everyone knew I was responsible. You know you gotta tie your shit to the canoe. Don't be a rookie and tip over and lose all your beer.
Speaker 1:Anyway, 2004 Carnival Cruise. I couldn't tell you where we went, but one day there was an all-ocean day. I think we were maybe in Cozumel, Cancun-ish. It was all you can drink. Throw in some flip cup, some ocean flotation devices like a big slide. I think there was a trampoline. It was a grand time. Somehow I was put in charge of wearing a watch and ensuring everyone got back to the ship via taxi or something. So you have to remember this is 2004. We have no way to communicate with each other. We have no cell phones. I mean, these days there still isn't Wi-Fi on a ship, correct? I don't know. I haven't been on a cruise since 2006. I remember jumping, screaming and waving people down who were in the ocean to get their ass in gear because no man left behind. Did I puke a lot on that cruise? Oh yeah, because I puked every weekend in college.
Speaker 1:In January of 2004, usher's yeah came out, the song featuring Lil Jon and Ludacris. This has to be one of the most popular party pump-up songs ever For the cruise. My friend Boss, aka Chris, burned a CD with a song on it and that's an old sentence. He gave the DJ of the cruise the CD and when I say every night at the club, the club, we made him play it at least 10 times. At one point one of the college kids apologized to a family there about being on a cruise with a bunch of drunk baby children and the father replied back it's fine, this is very entertaining. Do you have a funny spring break story for the pod? Shoot me an email, I'll read it. Listener. Submitted.
Speaker 1:Spring Break Madness, did your significant other, bring home decor or a family heirloom into your life that you don't like, but you can't get rid of it. I have a sailfish hanging in my fireplace room, a giant blue sailfish that I have disliked for over 19 years now. I've only had it in my home since 2011, but I always knew it would follow us. Now I don't hate where the story of the sailfish came from. My husband and his father rest in peace, roger. His father rest in peace, roger went on a fishing trip in the summer of 1999 in Boca Raton, florida. I loved my father-in-law. He was in my life for 14 and a half years and I was one of the lucky ones. My husband and his father were very close, but I don't think that means I should have an ugly ass fish hanging in my home. My mother-in-law made a picture collage of the fishing day and it is hanging next to the fish. I feel the pictures are enough. And yes, good job, you caught a big fish. Ooh, and then this sailfish isn't even all real. All the fins are real, but the body is fake and the giant eyeball is fake, and I have to dust this thing with its fake eye looking into my real eye. As soon as we hung it up in this house I said great, now we are Applebee's, may as well go sponsor a t-ball team and get their team photo on the wall along with a local sports jersey.
Speaker 1:I also have three works of baseball art hanging in my fireplace room that are allegedly worth money. My husband was a catcher through college and baseball is very important to him. One of the works of art is of home-run legends Babe Ruth, roger Maris, sammy Sosa and Mark McGuire, signed by the artist. There's another one, called Forever Golden, with Yvonne Rodriguez and Johnny Bench, signed by both athletes and by the artist. Now, these could be worth a shit-ton of money, but they are priceless to my husband because they were gifts from his parents. How do I find out how much baseball artwork is? Do I ask Siri I? I am the one who lug these around from home to home, preciously wrapping them in bubble wrap to ensure their safety. Wrapping them in bubble wrap to ensure their safety. Listen, I know there are things of mine my husband would love to get rid of, but I am the president and CEO of this family, but luckily we are both minimalists, so we don't really have many issues with storage over here and our small lack of storage home. Speaking of baseball art, a couple years ago I was doing a major clean out of our home maybe two years post moving into this house and I came across a painting of a baseball. Now I am pretty sure I moved this piece around since 2007. Keyword 2007.
Speaker 1:Let's say this story took place in 2023. The painting was our high school colors, so I assumed my husband painted it because he was a good artist growing up. So I walk up to him and I say, hey, guy, can we get rid of this? I know you painted it, but I just don't think it will go really anywhere in our home. And he says I didn't paint that. I said well, um, who did? He said my college girlfriend painted that for me. I can't imagine the look on my face. I'm pretty sure I said what the actual fuck? And then, without hesitation, I walked out to our trash can and tossed it in there because no, ma'am, no sir, I don't think I have anything from exes in my house, possibly a couple pictures in a bin from high school and college. Neither of my exes have social media and I find that's rare. Like I talked to them 20 years ago and then nothing ever again. But if you are my ex and listening, hey, how are you, what's up? And then I married someone who doesn't consume social media. Maybe it stems from my personality being giant-sized.
Speaker 1:If you have ever been to a wedding reception with me, you already know this. I am in a big lull in my life right now where I don't have many weddings to attend. If you ever, ever, and I mean ever need a plus one to a wedding, ladies, I got you. I've done it before, I'll do it again. I love a wedding reception. At my friend Rachel's wedding way back in the mid-2000s, the DJ asked if I would go on tour with him.
Speaker 1:I've been to a bar mitzvah and bar mitzvah recently and the DJs that were brought in they come with hype people like dancers and get-the-crowd-going people and I would fucking thrive in that situation. But really the DJ is the end-all for people to decide if your wedding was fun or not. Well, that and the open bar. I could care less if the dinner was bad, because I already ate enough cheese crackers and grapes to coat my stomach for a good times with Tito's soda and a lime before they run out of the limes and shout out to all the badass signature drinks we are all having at weddings these days. How yummy, how fun. I think the signature drink at my wedding was Miller Lite, even though there was an open bar At my wedding, I put together a spreadsheet of all the music that was to be played and you may be like oh yeah, jennifer, I told my DJ some songs I liked.
Speaker 1:No, ladies and gentlemen, I gave the DJ an entire fucking catalog spreadsheet in order of music to be played. Whenever everyone walked in to the last song before we all went home, it had to be like seven hours long. I picked out all my slow jams for dinner and all my dance songs for the bumpin' and grindin'. I even had a do-not playlist. I even had a Do Not playlist and you probably know what they were, in no particular order the popular version of the Electric Slide released in 1983, cupid Shuffle 2007, and the Cha-Cha Slide from 2000. I know there were some other songs, I can't recall. I feel like there were six to seven. I would love that spreadsheet. I got married in 2008, and you couldn't go anywhere without hearing those songs.
Speaker 1:This past summer, my best friend Reby was in town with her family and we took her two-year-old downtown Nashville to a honky-tonk Reby is short for Rebecca, if you have been confused. Every episode I have mentioned her. As we were leaving a rooftop bar, the downstairs floor was bopping, it was like 1 pm and there were two workers teaching line dancing to a big group of bachelorettes. Now, rebby and I were co-dance captains of our high school show choir and love to dance, so let's jump in. I was like, okay, grapevine to the right and grapevine to the left and two steps back. Well, hell folks, we are doing the electric slide to Shania Twain's. I Feel Like a Woman Now.
Speaker 1:While Reby and I were killing it and the way only white women can, adding some snaps, shimmies and some claps, I noticed none of the baby children in this bachelorette party knew what was going on. So then I'm thinking do young people not learn the electric slide anymore? Are they just learning ticky-tock dances and not getting down with their grannies and their aunties at wedding receptions? And now a reading from the electric slide. Are you Coming with me? Come, let me take you on a party ride. I'll teach you, teach you, teach you. I'll teach you the electric slide and scene.
Speaker 1:There are two songs I will request at a wedding reception once tipsy. And if you hate these songs, you better add them to your personal Do Not playlist. They are Summer Nights from Greece and Mr Big, I'm the One who Wants to Be with you. My girlfriend Jillian hates that song and she walked out of my friend Rachel's wedding when they played it. As soon as I hear hold on, little girl, it is peak serotonin in my brain. And if you don't like that song, just like General Botany at Miami University, you can suck a dick. Now, if you are in a different tax bracket and you had a live band at your wedding, have at it, but your band better kill it.
Speaker 1:Back in October of 2024, I went down to Jasper, alabama, for my Titans rookie sister, hannah's wedding. I knew there was a live band, but I wasn't prepared for a 12-piece mega band to be on stage with four singers who were also full-on dancers. They are called Universal Crush. Look them up on Instagram. It may as well have been a Vegas show. They've performed at the White House. They were absolutely outstanding. I've never seen anything like it.
Speaker 1:I've also been known to steal centerpieces and flowers from wedding receptions. Sorry, not sorry. I have friends who have children in college or are just about to go into college and I'm like, damn, we're in the South, I could potentially be in the era of being the next older generation at a wedding reception. Right, like your 20s and 30s, you are the young, fun people at the wedding. But you get into your 40s and it's like, oh, I need a Celsius and an Adderall to get through this. As soon as one of my friend's children have a wedding, I've decided I'm going to dress like mother of the bride, mother of the groom, something with a shawl, maybe a very glittery top, for sure, a full skirt and some sensible shoes. Now, pro tip. And at this point, ladies, if you haven't figured it out, I don't know where you've been. Sure, you need those sexy heels for the wedding. Get that dress, get them heels for pics. If you are like me, right after dinner it's shoe-changing time.
Speaker 1:I always have an extra bag with me with either flip-flops, tennis shoes or some Uggs. Who am I kidding? I can't afford Uggs. I'm wearing a generic brand. Most of you don't know, but you are wearing fake China Uggs. If your Uggs had the giant G in the middle, they were made in China, not the original Australian brand that became popular in the 2000s. There is zero excuse for your feet to be torn up, bleeding and blistered by the end of the night. Put your big girl panties on and have a backup plan for those bunions.
Speaker 1:Anywho, if you need someone to get the party started at your wedding reception, contact myself and then I will also bring along my friend Kelly Cooper. Friend of the pod, former Pro Bowl cheerleader, former Oklahoma State dancer and current director of spirit programs for the University of Tulsa. She's me, but eight years younger and eight inches shorter. That's what she said. That didn't make any sense. Spring break, cheers people and have a good week. Jennapod is directed, produced and edited by me, your girl, jennifer. Please rate, review and subscribe to this on Apple Podcasts, spotify or wherever you are listening to my lovely voice Laters.