Jennipod
It's ya girl Jennifer, ya know, from Fairfield.
Jennipod
Jennipod Epsiode 14: Doppler Jennifer vs The Tornado Apocalypse: No Designer Purses in the Workshop
• Watching a documentary about the 2011 Joplin F5 tornado before bed was definitely not the move
• Preparing for tornado warnings by staging important items in advance makes middle-of-the-night evacuations easier
• Tornado safe spaces need to be comfortable for prolonged stays - bring snacks, pillows, and entertainment
• Sleep deprivation after a night of weather alerts makes even simple tasks challenging
• Despite not being a purse person, I secretly want a Louis Vuitton Neverfull bag for main character energy
• Thrift shopping at Goodwill yields incredible finds including brand-new designer clothes with tags still attached
• My new air fryer produced hamburger hockey pucks on the first attempt but cooked brats perfectly
• The Real ID weight question conspiracy continues as more people report different experiences
Thank you for supporting Jennipod! Please rate us and follow the podcast on Apple and add to playlist on Spotify. On Instagram follow along @thejennipod. Email jennifermeadevo@gmail.com for any Voice Over inquiries.
What's up everyone. Welcome to Episode 14 of JennaPod. The network just keeps telling me I have to get these out weekly. So here we are. If you are new, here I am, jennifer. I live in Nashville, tennessee, and I grew up in Fairfield, ohio. Go Indians.
Speaker 1:Last episode I described my dream guy as a 1998 dude wearing Abercrombie. I had many women reach out and say hell yeah, and also say why did you just describe my high school boyfriend? My husband said your dream guy sounds like a douchebag and I said he probably is a douchebag, but I want him to ask me to prom. Douchebag, but I want him to ask me to prom. I want him to take me to Applebee's. I want him to give me his Abercrombie hat. Once I got to college, all the boys wore JCrew. Is Miami University still referred to as JCrew U Lauren, can you confirm that for me? Also, can you go get me a hoodie from the bookstore? It will be a gift. Thank you in advance.
Speaker 1:Today is Saturday, april 5th. There are still tornado warnings going on northwest of me as I write this up. Chill the hell out, mother Nature. I think we have another round coming tonight. It's been a week for severe weather. These lines are so long. I've been texting everyone in Cincinnati who's in the same line of storms, except we get them like three to four hours after they do. Shout out to my girlfriend, janae, who was sitting in her car at the Cincinnati Northern Kentucky Airport when a little baby tornado went through a couple weeks ago. She was live texting saying uh, things are flying around my car, not the F-Zero in the cell phone parking lot, by the way. When does the damn cell phone lot at the Nashville airport come back to the actual campus instead of way way far away? Before I even knew what voiceover was, I always mimicked the announcements at the Nashville airport. When I walk into BNA, I immediately start with hey y'all, this is Garth Brooks, welcome to Nashville International Airport. What a terrible southern, what a terrible men's southern accent. That was so. Really, that's my dream role the announcement person at the airport, holla.
Speaker 1:Last Saturday night at 8 pm we started watching the documentary the Twister Caught in the Storm. This was the documentary I mentioned a couple episodes ago about the May 2011 F5 Joplin, missouri, tornado. Y'all. This was the scariest thing I've ever seen. Starting it right before bed was not the move. My blood pressure was off the charts and I felt nauseated while I was watching it. Yes, I know, dramatic it me, but damn, it was terrifying. So you know, after watching that Saturday, I was ready for this week. She is ready. That Saturday I was ready for this week, she is ready.
Speaker 1:Sunday night was what I called the dress rehearsal. I had friends sleep through the storm and that causes me stress, not your girl Doppler, jennifer. Now, where I went wrong Sunday night was I had all my important stuff out on the dining room table, like my purse, the dog leashes, my work computer with accessories and my important binder of stuff. Now, in the middle of the night, when my phone started saying tornado warning and the sirens were going off, I just didn't have the bandwidth to get everything down to the workshop. But we got down there and I think that was just a short warning. There have been so many this week I can't remember. So then we get to Wednesday night into Thursday morning, the big show also known as the largest tornado outbreak since 2011, and maybe the fourth most ever in the history books. I had friends from Titans who were at the University of Alabama when that storm hit Tuscaloosa in 2011.
Speaker 1:Now, my husband was out of town and I actually think this worked out better because he would have been like I'm staying in bed, so I had one less human to worry about. I also went ahead and had my stuff down in the workshop, which is probably my number one tip. I was nervous going into the night, so I woke up at 9.30 pm, 10.30 pm, 12.20 pm and, very glad, at that point I let the dogs out, because at 2.40 am when the tornado warning went off on my phone, we was hustling down to the workshop. Now I have to travel pretty far to get to my safe spot. I'm sleeping on the second story. I got to get down to the first story, go all the way across the house, down the stairs into the garage, around the cars, and then the workshop is in the back of the garage. I should start timing us to see how fast we can get down there, not us having tornado drills. The dogs did fantastic, great listeners, so it's just not transitioning to a bathroom down the hall. Now I do get to be surrounded by cinder block walls and I'm under the ground, so winning.
Speaker 1:But why was I hustling so hard? Because the warning went off and I always opened the Twitter first and it was like yes, this is a warning for your city of 45,000 people and my poor 19-year-old goblin cat. I gently tossed her into the powder room on the first floor with a blanket. She's blind and I just need her in a small confined space. I said peace out senders. See you on the other side.
Speaker 1:Now, once in the workshop, I have a large flat screen TV and I already had the news streaming. I was ready for Danielle Breezy to keep me posted. Now, when the news started saying intersections about 5.5 miles west of me and then showing the swirly arrows of rotation over my city, it was very exciting. Luckily, nothing happened. After the first wave went through, I thought I'll go back to bed before the next one. Welp, get into bed three minutes later. Tornado warning again in the name of my city. Back again, back down, we go to the workshop. Back down, we go to the workshop. We stayed down in the workshop until about 5.10 am. Now I did go upstairs to get rawhides because I had WWE wrestling going on with the dogs.
Speaker 1:Another thing I learned is I need my tornado safe space to be comfy for prolonged hours. When you go somewhere for 20 minutes and then it's over, no big deal. But when you are almost in your safe space for 2.5 hours it gets old. I need a couch with a pillow and blankets and I need food. By 4 am my body was like can I get a made-to-order omelet? Fucking starving. We went back to bed at 5.30am.
Speaker 1:My alarm went off at 6.15am that I'd forgotten to turn off for work and then the almost one-year-old puppy at 7.30am was like girl, I'm up. So how Nashville felt all day Thursday is what I assume a new mother feels after her baby doesn't sleep all night. I was supposed to go to Gallatin, tennessee, for work. That got canceled and thank God because these synapses were not firing. I kept wondering Thursday during the day what do people with critical jobs do after an entire night of tornado warnings? Like I just need to send emails. What if you are a surgeon? Snort some Adderall laced with some Celsius and scrub on in.
Speaker 1:I could not have performed open heart surgery on Thursday because, a I am not trained in that field, b I could barely read my Kroger shopping list and shop, let alone save a life. Sleep deprivation is not it Now. Even though the storms have been terrifying, I don't want spring to be over, because as soon as spring is over in Nashville, it becomes 95 degrees with 200% humidity through August. I should probably buy a radar system, teach myself on YouTube how to use it. Google says the E700XD portable weather radar is priced at over $100,000. So I'll be starting a GoFundMe for that and then I'll go live and just repeat everything. Nashville severe weather is already saying.
Speaker 1:My best friend Reby, who I will now just call best friend Reby, was behind on the podcast because she is a busy travel businesswoman and a mama. She finally listened to episode 12, they I am leaving you all my random ass stuff, just so you never forget me. I immediately replied yes, I'll take all your Kate Spade purses, but none of that weird Vera Bradley crap, who here was a Vera Bradley girly or still is a Vera Bradley girly. I didn't get it. I was like that purse looks like a quilt. I have never had a designer handbag or purse. I am not much of a purse person. Again, bring back the cargo shorts. I will put all my shit in the pockets. Maybe I should just wear cargo shorts.
Speaker 1:I currently rock an Amazon outdoor tactical military sport sling shoulder backpack. My gym gave me that for free. I love free stuff. I've used it for over a year. I get lots of compliments on it. My gym actually just found an extra one recently, gave it to me and now I have a backup one.
Speaker 1:However, even though I am not a purse person, I want a Louis Vuitton purse. I want to be at the airport with that brown, neverfull bag it's over two grand walking around with main character energy. Every time I see a woman with something Louie, I'm like that's so ridiculous, but also gimme. Now wait, I apologize, I was lying. My mother-in-law gave me a coach purse clutch a long time ago. Sorry, carol, my bad. It is very nice, but I keep it in the closet and only take it out for nice occasions, when I'm feeling fancy. So I guess this is the part where I tell everyone when they update their wills, to leave me all their designer purses and handbags, because I promise I will take very good care of them. My husband can just take all my ghetto purses to Goodwill.
Speaker 1:I love Goodwill. I haven't paid full price for a piece of clothing in like I don't know ever. I was born into a thrifty shop, being family both sides and to this day I'm a Goodwill girly. Gabriel Brothers, gabes hashtag, if you know. You know consignment stores or the clearance rack at TJ Maxx. I am that person who can spend hours just hunting for shit and a good deal. Now, don't get me wrong, I do shop on Amazon if I need something specific, but I am never spending over $25 on one item. If there was a shopping game show at Goodwill, I think I could win. Whenever I visit my sister cousin in Cleveland, we have been known to visit multiple Goodwills back to back to back. People are giving away high quality clothes with the tag still on them. I have found brand new Banana Republic dresses, ann Taylor loft shirts. What have you Megan said at her funeral? She wants me to go to Goodwill and find the most ridiculous outfit I can find. Doesn't matter if it's slutty, it's what she wants.
Speaker 1:Speaking of dead people, val Kilmer passed away this week. Rip on Instagram of him reverse aging like before he was 65, he was 59 and went all the way down to 19, seamlessly transitioning him reverse aging. It was really cool, but also very sad. But now I'm like I could go ahead and produce my AI funeral video. I mean, can't be too hard, I feel. Instead of a hologram, I bet I can just have an interactive AI statue or something. I obviously have the audio equipment. If I live to be old enough I bet I can have a robot of me walking around, but like a young, hot version of me, like a young, hot version of me, like 32-year-old robot, jennifer is like hey, howdy, can I get you an old-fashioned or some shrimp cocktail? Because I swear, if my celebration of life is boring I will be livid.
Speaker 1:I'm not sure about the dress code yet. Tbd, don't wear a suit, it's not necessary. Tbd, don't wear a suit, it's not necessary. Anyway, everyone is invited. Let's say sometime in 2082, because I'm really working hard to be 100.
Speaker 1:The free air fryer made it to my house last Saturday from Cincinnati. It's beautiful. It's an Emeril Lagasse Pro. It's $149 on Amazon. Remember I got it for free. You can even rotisserie stuff in it. Is that the right use of that word, rotisserie-ing food? It also has a dehydrator. I'll never use that. I always love the cookbooks that come along with a new appliance. Emeril's creative marketing team thinks I'm going to be getting into Cornish hens, rosemary leg of lamb, bacon-weaved stuffed turkey. What in the world? No, sir, I am making basic white people food in there. Also, I assume air fryers are mostly used by parents feeding their babies, chiggy nuggies or drunk college students needing pizza rolls or bagel bites at 2 am. Man, that sounds good Damn. I miss my metabolism and the non-irritated stomach of a 20-year-old.
Speaker 1:With the arrival of the air fryer, I went ahead and bought some pre-made hamburger patties. I was ready to cook some frickin' meat. Now the general cooking guidelines said hamburger 1, 4th to 1.1 pounds, 7 to 14 minutes at 360 degrees. Now that is a wide array of information. Y'all this was a disaster from the start. Nowhere in the directions did it say flip them. I didn't frip my burgers. After seven minutes I pulled them out and there was red goo blood whatever it's called coming out of the top of them and they were bright red in the middle. It was still mooing. Another seven minutes still a disaster. Round two I did four patties on one rack. Didn't flip them, but they were edible hockey pucks. Didn't flip them, but they were edible hockey pucks. So as someone who was super psyched for this damn air fryer, I got sad and mad emotionally done with this contraption. Now, come Sunday, I threw in a pack of brats. Now that shit cooked perfectly and I was a happy, happy girl again. So my goal this week is to try burgers again. I've gotten tips and tricks from friend Melissa friend of the pod who has fed three growing boys with an air fryer. So there is hope, folks.
Speaker 1:I think the Real ID conspiracy is growing. I had two people tell me they were not asked about their weight. So was this guy a creeper? Are they only asking random people about their weight? Was Tyra Banks hiding in the background assessing me for America's Next Top Model? Background assessing me for America's Next Top Model? Please keep letting me know about your Real ID experiences.
Speaker 1:I'm still considering posting up at the airport on Wednesday May 7th to see what happens. I should get the equipment to interview people and make a fake media ID. I am media now. I have mentioned before. My mother texts me coupons of free stuff she has downloaded to my Kroger account. This week she sent a picture of a free box of popcorn, but the screenshot and the website cut off the word popcorn, so it just showed Cousin Willie's Hot Butter and I was like what the fuck is this product? Also, why is it so sexual? Why is my mom sending me sexy butter? I mean it's free. But now if the product was called Ryan Gosling's Hot's hot butter. Hey, oh okay, you either got the reference or not, and this is why this is an explicit podcast, because we are now talking about man butter. Y'all stay safe out there with dim tornadoes and have a great week. Jennapod is directed, produced and edited by me, your girl, jennifer. Please rate, review and subscribe to this on Apple Podcasts, spotify or wherever you are listening to my lovely voice Laters. Thank you.