Jennipod
It's ya girl Jennifer, ya know, from Fairfield.
Jennipod
Jennipod Episode 25: My Personal Shopper Thinks I Have Monkeys
Through the portal of hell that is Midwestern summer heat, I share my journey of discovering life-changing home improvements and navigating modern convenience technologies.
• Installing a dog door ranks in my top 10 life decisions—my German short-haired pointer now happily spends 90% of his day outside
• Traveling with pets becomes manageable with the right medication combination—200mg of trazodone provided 8 hours of peaceful car ride
• Surviving a road trip with broken air conditioning during extreme heat feels like psychological warfare and SEAL training
• Grocery delivery services prevent impulse purchases but can lead to accidental bulk orders (like receiving 30 bananas)
• Text-to-order pizza technology provides a faster, easier alternative to food delivery apps with a 15% discount
Thank you for supporting Jennipod! Please rate us and follow the podcast on Apple and add to playlist on Spotify. On Instagram follow along @thejennipod. Email jennifermeadevo@gmail.com for any Voice Over inquiries.
What's up everyone. Welcome to episode 25 of her podcast. So I'm just out here kicking A-list celebrities' ass in this platform, not financially, but among podcast content. I am recording this Monday, july 21st. Sorry for the delay. I went from being like not busy, aka I started a podcast. I had the time to start a podcast and now I'm like real busy and I don't want to put out a shitty episode just to get one out. That's what she said.
Speaker 1:This does take prep. I do take pride in it and I go to North Carolina this week for a girls trip. Good news, that will give me a lot of silly content. I have four flights to take. One of those drunk, crazy people better not get on my flight. I fly out at 5 30 am. That is a little too early for me to have a cocktail. Airport content could be major and I get to use my real ID like the good little citizen I am. Leaving the house at 4 am. Wednesday will suck, but you know I take ye old neck pillow with me. I will be asleep immediately. Positive vibes up for some seamless flights.
Speaker 1:We went to St Louis for the long 4th of July weekend to visit friends and fun facts we finally figured out the concoction to nausea medicine paired with 200. That's 200 milligrams of trazodone. We had tested 100 milligrams going to the vet and it did nothing. Baby boy was out. I gave it to him two hours before the car ride and 90 minutes in his legs started going baby giraffe and his pupils were pinholes and he was scared to step outside. I was like, oh shit, we got to get in the car Now. As a human who has taken trazodone, I know it is just a mild drug that makes you very, very sleepy, unless you get addicted to it. And all of a sudden you're taking 100 milligrams and still can't sleep. But that's for another story. He slept the entire car ride. The drug did last eight hours, so when we got to our destination he was still a little. What in the hell just happened? So anyway, I'm not a veterinarian but roofie your dog for a long car ride.
Speaker 1:On the way back from St Louis the air conditioning went out in our Jeep Cherokee. That was delightful because if you live in the middle of the United States right now, a portal to hell has been opened and all the heat and humidity that has ever existed has been pouring onto us non-stop. Is hell. Humid or more of a dry heat, like Scottsdale the thing was. With the front windows down, it wasn't too bad. There was enough wind, you know. Air was circulating, but the decibels of the wind, jesus Christ. I had a pillow up against my right ear and my husband had an earbud in his left ear just trying not to end up at the ENT Monday morning. 80 mile per hour winds are loud as fuck.
Speaker 1:After about an hour of it it started to feel like a psychological test. Is this what SEAL training feels like? Is this what it's like to be hanging out the side of a helicopter? Now I remember my high school. Boyfriend's Ford Ranger did not have air conditioning, but I was 16 and in love and I didn't care that the vinyl melted my skin off every time I got in it.
Speaker 1:If my home thermostat creeps up to 71 degrees, I start panicking. We're in the middle ages and that early sweat thing is starting to happen. I don't even, I'm not even going to talk about that. Alexa, elsa, get it down to 69 degrees, maybe 68. Another reason post-apocalypse. I am not hanging around to rebuild society, that's right. No air conditioning and no heat. See you later. See you in my next life. When I come back as a puppy on Mars, our most important people left will be our trade people. Your 2026 degree in social media entrepreneurship ain't gonna build me an HVAC system, little Reagan. Go learn plumbing and electrical.
Speaker 1:Before leaving for St Louis, we went and saw the new Jurassic Park movie with my parents. You know what? Because that's what my family does. I am pretty confident. I have seen every Jurassic Park movie in the theater with my parents because, as we know, I'm an only child and they live two miles from me and they bought the movie tickets. Now, to be clear, I bought my mother a medium diet Coke and her own medium popcorn upon arriving at the theater. Currently, on Rotten Tomatoes, critics are giving it a 51% and audiences are giving it a 71%. I liked it, my dad liked it. This was the seventh movie in the franchise. I think it was the fourth best one ever, number one being the original Jurassic Park from 1993, and the second best was Jurassic World that came out in 2015 with Chris Pratt. But, like who is hating on hypothetical CGI dinosaur movies, it was intense and scary. I had a good time During movie previews.
Speaker 1:I got to see two upcoming movies with my boyfriends in them. Glenn Powell is starring in a remake of the Running man, a book written by Stephen King in 1982, and the movie in 1987 came out starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. I vaguely remember it. I know I've seen it. Was it good? I don't know. I didn't look up the reviews on that. And then, and then, my man, ryan Gosling, is going to be starring in Project Hail Mary, based on the novel written by Andy Weir. I have it downloaded and ready to read. If you recall, andy Weir also wrote the Martian, which had huge success and was turned into a movie starring Matt Damon in 2015. Very good flick. If you are interested in what would happen if you got stranded on Mars, I personally would die and, and, and, and.
Speaker 1:They played the trailer for the second part, two Wicked movie, and I was not emotionally ready for it. I started full on crying the second it started. It looks incredible. If you are my close friend and you still haven't seen the first movie, what are you doing? Get your TiVo out and watch the damn thing. We have the dog door. Not to be dramatic, but I'm going to be.
Speaker 1:Installing a dog door in my home is one of the top 10 best things that has ever happened to me. Now we did have to add more money to the price because the lovely workers showed up and said oh, do you want to reuse the same handle and deadbolt? Uh no, the deadbolt was broken, low-key, anyone could have walked into our house. So a little lack of communication from the Home Depot. But luckily my husband ran down to Ace and got us a new, fancy one that has a digital lock. They said it would take four hours to install and indeed it took all four hours and it got real, real humid in the house. But it was worth it. It was great. He did an amazing job. It looks beautiful. It took the dogs 48 hours to figure out the dog door, adding another $200 to the project with the new Swankified hardware.
Speaker 1:I said if these pups don't use this fucking dog door At first, we just had to gently yeet them through it. We locked up the kitchen door and pulled down the blind so they could not go to it and would get used to it Like don't even, don't even look at this. At first they were on the other side of the door refusing to come in. But it's weird, you show them a treat and all of a sudden they are an Olympic dog door athlete, like they're number one in the country. So for 19 and a half years having dogs and never having a dog door, I now will never go through life without one. I didn't realize how happy it would make me. The German short-haired pointer now spends 90% of his day outside and he is so happy and he loves this hell heat situation. Anyway, 12 out of 10 recommend spending money on the dog door. Don't the Birkin, don't get the Labubu, get the damn dog door.
Speaker 1:I've mentioned how I use Kroger delivery four days a week. You know I love that $35 minimum. It's not lazy, it's efficient and also curbing impulse buys. So let's talk about bananas. For the past couple years on Kroger, when you ordered bananas, you ordered the amount of bananas you wanted. It would show a picture of one banana and I would click the plus one button, usually five to six times, to get my five to six bananas.
Speaker 1:I never understood why they did this, because sometimes it would be a group of four bananas from a bunch and then one banana from another bunch. They don't even know each other. Well, they sent an email out stating this would no longer be the case and that they would now be purchased by bunches. Well, I forgot about this or wasn't paying attention of the start date to that, and when we got back from St Louis, I had five bunches of bananas on my front porch Like 25 to 30 bananas. I thought I was being punked. I swear they hadn't changed the icon from single banana to multiple bananas on the app. You know, chiquita was like make it rain, baby. I know I'm not the only person who did this. Also, what was my personal shopper thinking? This girl bakes a lot. This girl got monkeys. This girl bakes a lot. This girl got monkeys. This girl stupid. My mom came over and took three bunches because she freezes them and then eats them.
Speaker 1:Does anyone have a good story out there on over ordering an item on accident or your kids who have access to your Amazon account? I once was drunk and ordered ramen soup spoons from Amazon. They have since been shunned off to goodwill. I maybe used them twice. I hope a young college student ended up with them and has them for their cup of soup.
Speaker 1:Speaking of technology and food, I've spoken about Uber Eats, but I came across an even faster way to order certain types of food. I am not a big pizza girl. I maybe eat it three to four times a year. It's not that I hate pizza, I just don't crave it. A couple of Fridays ago it was getting late in the evening and we didn't have a plan for dinner and no one felt like cooking and I didn't want to spend a ridiculous amount on Uber Eats. Jet's Pizza is a half mile from our house. We could walk there. My husband said he would go get it. So I go on their website and it says text us to order and save 15%. Love a deal.
Speaker 1:I do have the Jets number saved in my phone and I was like kind of nervous and I sent a little flirty text like hey, jets, can I get a? Uh, an eight corner pizza, deep dish, normal bake with some pepperoni. Got an AI text immediately back like hey, sweetie, yes, come get it in 18 minutes, easiest order ever. But then the next Friday I got a text from Jet saying hey, girly, what you doing? You want to reorder what you ordered last week. You want to do it again. Jets, I'm married, settle down.
Speaker 1:But can you imagine this technology being available in the height of your partying? I mean texting kind of didn't even exist when I started partying. Uber Eats isn't always the easiest app to navigate, but imagine it's 2 am, you're drunk, you're starving and all I have to do is send a kind of coherent text and pizza could be delivered to my door. You could probably just text pizza, they don't care, they'll just charge your credit card. You forget about it on your front porch, no worries, you have breakfast in the morning. There is a Jimmy John's being built 2.7 miles from my house and if they have text ordering, it's over. If I'm PMSing, bam, send me over a turkey tom, send me over that tuna sub. I will get chonky off that French bread, but I'll be happy, happy. My college roommates know what the aftermath of college. Jennifer eating Jimmy John's at 2 am looks like it's lettuce all over my keyboard while drunk AOL messaging people, probably putting dramatic song lyrics up as my away message. I think once a Jimmy John's sub was thrown at someone in our apartment Unclear, I'll figure that out on the girls' trip. Anyway, be safe texting the AI Jets Pizza database, because what you text Jets stays with Jets.
Speaker 1:My parents made it to Red Lobster and here is Sharon's feedback Quote tasty and affordable. I got the coconut shrimp, no sides, $11.99. When we got there, host said 15-minute wait because short-staffed Place was almost empty. Because short-staffed Place was almost empty, so we sat at the bar and after one beer we realized we could order from there. So we did. Jerry got a large fried platter so good and those cheese biscuits exclamation point, end quote. Now my parents are picky as hell eaters, boomers. So that is a really good review of Red Lobster, short-staffed.
Speaker 1:What if I quit my job and just go work at Red Lobster and become the official podcast for Red Lobster when I get back from North Carolina? I have to prioritize going again Through my job. I was at a rural nutrition site where seniors come to eat and the site manager, who was also a cook, told me she didn't have barely any fingertips left because she was the cook at Red Lobster for 10 years. As in dealing with all the hot pans, I don't want to lose finger bits, but I sure as hell can flirt with some boomers for a 25% tip. Did anyone listening ever work at Red Lobster? Has anyone made the trip? For the seafood lover in you, let me know.
Speaker 1:Speaking of restaurants I want revitalized. Did you all ever eat at Don Pablo's At its peak? There were 120 Don Pablo's across 14 states and it was so good. Shout out to the Tri-County Mall location in Cincinnati. Shout out to the Tri-County Mall location in Cincinnati.
Speaker 1:It was an American chain of Tex-Mex restaurants founded in Lubbock, texas, in 1985. The menu featured Tex-Mex items made from scratch salsa, tortillas and sauces and a range of other Mexican specialties. Hands down best quesadilla I've ever had. Then, when I hit 21,. Best margaritas ever. I think that's what I'll do with my Powerball money.
Speaker 1:Pay someone to run a Don Pablo's out of my house, like I'm so rich. Everyone is just hanging out. Everyone's salaried, there's benefits. Maybe they stay there and they're just waiting for me to randomly show up at the restaurant in my house. I don't need a mega yacht, I need fucking Don Pablo's. Someone make this happen. I'll start a crowdfund GoFundMe for it. Stamps went up to 78 cents. Nope, you are getting a thank you phone call from me, not a thank you card, and if you miss the call, well, that's your own fault. I should be one of your favorites anyway in your iPhone. I don't know how an Android is set up, but add me to your favorites in that weird device.
Speaker 1:I discussed the upper right piercing with my mother and I lied. It wasn't my 30th birthday. It was my 21st birthday Cheers when we went to Claire's and got our double piercings. To Claire's and got our double piercings and get this my mom's upper right piercing is also jacked up. So, baby girl that was working that day was either having an off day or that little stapler thing that staples your ear was messed up. So after 22 years, I focused and figured out that I have to put it in at a diagonal position. That's what she said. So now I have it figured out and I haven't had a bloody earlobe since. So thank you everyone. 14 years ago on my Facebook, I said I'm starting a Joe D Messina cover band and that was the least embarrassing thing I could find that I typed the summer of 2011.
Speaker 1:I know my girl, rachel has been hitting the gym listening to Miss Messina Yeehaw. This is all I have time for this week to get this episode out before I go to the beach. I promise, I promise I will try really hard not to go 2.5 weeks again without an episode. But life be lifin' and we do what we can do. I do, I do, do. I do love doing this and I appreciate all the support. Thank you for listening to episode 25 and have a great week. To episode 25 and have a great week, thank you.
