WEBVTT 00:00:00.461 --> 00:00:26.710 When I was in high school, my mother was diagnosed with a death sentence and I remember that feeling when it felt like nobody understood that how can a loving God take such a wonderful woman? 00:00:26.710 --> 00:00:35.085 But we trusted him and she was healed. 00:00:35.085 --> 00:00:53.936 And that same God that took care of me as a young boy is the same God that is here today. 00:00:53.936 --> 00:01:06.453 There's not a word in the dictionary that can describe what you feel With someone you love and you just have to watch and you have to trust. 00:01:06.453 --> 00:01:19.197 And you have to trust and you have to believe, even when you don't know the answers. 00:01:19.197 --> 00:01:30.924 But I know a God who has showed up every single time. 00:01:30.924 --> 00:01:36.227 I know a king of kings that loves his kids and he is always faithful. 00:01:36.227 --> 00:01:38.786 Baby, will you hand me some cleaning? 00:01:38.786 --> 00:01:39.489 Never mind. 00:01:39.489 --> 00:01:53.792 And he said, if we just believe, he'll do the rest. 00:01:53.792 --> 00:01:59.707 He said if we just call on his name, he'll show up. 00:01:59.707 --> 00:02:14.025 If we just trust him, he'll show that he is alive and well and that he is not a liar, because if he doesn't do what he says, that means God is a liar. 00:02:14.025 --> 00:02:25.884 He's never failed me, whether in death or in life. 00:02:25.884 --> 00:02:39.066 God keeps his word and we just have to trust that he knows what he's doing, because he is for you. 00:02:39.066 --> 00:02:55.788 He is for you, he's for you and if he is on your side, then nothing the world the devil sends your way can stand against his almighty name. 00:02:55.788 --> 00:03:05.725 Continue to pray for him and his family. 00:03:05.725 --> 00:03:16.599 If he wants to give you the details, he can, but it's hard to watch when you don't understand. 00:03:26.674 --> 00:03:28.235 Lord, I feel your spirit here today. 00:03:28.235 --> 00:03:32.639 Thank you, god, for always being faithful. 00:03:32.639 --> 00:03:40.129 Thank you, lord, for being who you are, even when we don't know who we are. 00:03:40.129 --> 00:03:47.131 Father, I ask that you continue to bless this service as we move forward into your word. 00:03:47.131 --> 00:03:52.945 Lord, just do your work. 00:03:52.945 --> 00:04:00.070 We're trusting you, lord, in your name we pray. 00:04:00.070 --> 00:04:00.312 Amen. 00:04:05.460 --> 00:04:06.562 That's how to start a sermon. 00:04:06.562 --> 00:04:12.014 Man, thank y'all. 00:04:12.014 --> 00:04:14.086 Can we give our worship team a hand today? 00:04:14.086 --> 00:04:38.730 They kind of had to do it last minute and usually, if you don't know, we practice on Thursdays, and Thursdays we were stuffing our faces so we couldn't breathe to practice and I promise you I did not time this sermon this way. 00:04:38.730 --> 00:04:57.430 But today we're going to talk about habits and I have a habit on Thanksgiving of eating until I can't breathe and then sometimes that bleeds until after Christmas and then I'm like working the next six months trying to work that Thanksgiving 20 off. 00:05:00.360 --> 00:05:01.906 Brother Jim, you mind coming here and help me for a second. 00:05:01.906 --> 00:05:06.107 So I have here it's called a smart card. 00:05:06.107 --> 00:05:07.230 Anybody have a smart phone? 00:05:07.230 --> 00:05:10.326 Yeah, this is called a smart card. 00:05:10.326 --> 00:05:13.990 And so on, this little see the little glittery part right there. 00:05:13.990 --> 00:05:28.286 If you put your thumb on there and you are a good person, if you put it on there and you hold it for 15 seconds and you move your thumb and it's like a light green color, it will change if you're a good person. 00:05:28.286 --> 00:05:29.127 So go ahead. 00:05:29.869 --> 00:05:42.569 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. 00:05:42.569 --> 00:05:43.271 Let's go to zero. 00:05:43.271 --> 00:05:44.372 Zero, just in case. 00:05:44.372 --> 00:05:48.298 Did that change color Any? 00:05:48.298 --> 00:05:53.165 No, okay, thanks, let me try it. 00:05:53.165 --> 00:05:59.435 15, 14, 13, 12, nine, 10. 00:05:59.435 --> 00:06:02.045 Nice, this is All right. 00:06:02.045 --> 00:06:02.728 No color change. 00:06:05.180 --> 00:06:10.533 Either the car's broke or none of us are really good Card's broke. 00:06:10.533 --> 00:06:12.987 I agree with his assessment. 00:06:12.987 --> 00:06:16.485 So what does that mean? 00:06:16.485 --> 00:06:19.369 That means we can all agree that all of us have something to work on. 00:06:19.369 --> 00:06:24.826 We all got issues. 00:06:24.826 --> 00:06:25.480 Some of us had a lot got issues. 00:06:25.480 --> 00:06:30.612 Some of us had a lot of issues, and these issues end up coming out during the Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday. 00:06:32.540 --> 00:06:32.961 Some of you. 00:06:32.961 --> 00:06:35.726 It was a blessing that the gathering was a little smaller. 00:06:35.726 --> 00:06:44.579 Thursday Family fun who needs six flags when you got family? 00:06:44.579 --> 00:06:47.024 Family fun who needs six flags when you got family? 00:06:47.024 --> 00:06:49.829 So if you don't know, uh, pastor phil is at. 00:06:49.829 --> 00:06:50.891 He's at alabama. 00:06:50.891 --> 00:07:05.754 He's actually preaching at his brother's church this sunday, the one who had the heart stuff going on and had the surgery, and he was just down and he, uh, he, just he needed a break, and so his, his brother, said, well, I'm going to be there already, why don't I just preach? 00:07:05.754 --> 00:07:13.999 So if you came for pastor, I apologize. 00:07:13.999 --> 00:07:19.629 So we all have something we need to work on. 00:07:19.649 --> 00:07:31.029 And if we're not, if we're really down to the root of it, if we really are honest with ourselves and we start naming off if we've lusted, if we've lied, if we've cheated, if we've stolen, we end up being an adulterous, thieving liar. 00:07:31.029 --> 00:07:40.932 When you put it in those terms, like the actual words, then we're all deserving of death, which I love. 00:07:40.932 --> 00:07:48.947 The reason I love that is because that means that the people that we're trying to reach is exactly the same as us. 00:07:48.947 --> 00:07:50.771 There's no difference. 00:07:50.771 --> 00:07:55.745 They are in need of a savior, they are in need of love, they are in need of compassion. 00:07:55.745 --> 00:08:06.048 So the purpose of this little exercise was to show that we all have sinned and that no one is greater than the next. 00:08:06.048 --> 00:08:09.369 So we can agree, we all have something to work on. 00:08:09.480 --> 00:08:10.403 So let's talk. 00:08:10.403 --> 00:08:14.805 Today it's going to be a little more teaching instead of preaching, but I hope you get something from it. 00:08:14.805 --> 00:08:19.589 Sometimes I think it's good to slow down and really take some things in instead of just getting yelled at. 00:08:19.589 --> 00:08:21.983 So we're going to be talking about building better habits. 00:08:21.983 --> 00:08:33.692 We're going to give you, we're going to build an acronym H-A-B-I-T-S and we're going to break down each one of those and give you some scripture that will help you to kind of remember ways to do it. 00:08:33.692 --> 00:08:37.567 So I have 30 hours of notes, so we'll see if we can make it to 11. 00:08:39.720 --> 00:08:41.486 Sometimes habits can really control us. 00:08:41.486 --> 00:08:43.903 Anybody have a habit that controls you. 00:08:43.903 --> 00:08:52.705 Probably most of us, like right now, could probably think about something Either you can for you or for your spouse. 00:08:52.705 --> 00:08:53.846 Think of a habit that is trouble. 00:08:53.846 --> 00:09:00.986 And sometimes our habits can lead us to a place, to where we're screaming up at the sky God, where are you? 00:09:00.986 --> 00:09:03.253 How did I end up here? 00:09:03.253 --> 00:09:09.047 God, where are you? 00:09:09.047 --> 00:09:11.200 How did I end up here, and nine times out of 10, the answer is our habits. 00:09:11.200 --> 00:09:18.380 The devil gets a lot of credit for things that we end up doing, and the opposite. 00:09:18.380 --> 00:09:20.710 When we do something good, sometimes we end up being like well, I did a pretty good job. 00:09:20.710 --> 00:09:21.373 Dug myself out of that hole. 00:09:21.373 --> 00:09:22.255 No, you didn't, moron, god did. 00:09:22.255 --> 00:09:26.048 That's how God speaks to me me, because that's what I need. 00:09:26.048 --> 00:09:29.765 How did I end up here? 00:09:29.765 --> 00:09:34.191 So let me go with a little bit of example. 00:09:34.460 --> 00:09:35.605 Has anyone ever prayed this? 00:09:35.605 --> 00:09:37.894 Now, I'm not bashing anybody. 00:09:37.894 --> 00:09:38.679 I'm also guilty. 00:09:38.679 --> 00:09:41.549 I told you I'll never preach on anything that I don't suffer from myself. 00:09:41.549 --> 00:09:43.663 Who's ever prayed over their food? 00:09:43.663 --> 00:09:46.490 As they're taking down french fries and a Big Mac? 00:09:46.490 --> 00:09:47.975 You know what I'm saying. 00:09:47.975 --> 00:09:51.583 Come on, who prayed over their Thanksgiving meal and then ate till they couldn't breathe? 00:09:51.583 --> 00:09:53.948 You know what I'm saying. 00:09:53.948 --> 00:09:57.562 Like, if we have diets Thursday, we didn't stick to them. 00:09:57.562 --> 00:10:01.011 That's the day God allows cheating, right. 00:10:01.011 --> 00:10:07.528 And so we pray over our food because listen, I'm not bashing you, but we have a mindset of. 00:10:07.528 --> 00:10:10.995 We pray over things that we don't really mean or we don't care to change. 00:10:12.299 --> 00:10:13.121 Have you ever prayed? 00:10:13.121 --> 00:10:17.152 God bless our finances and you don't stop spending money. 00:10:17.152 --> 00:10:24.102 Do you know how to save money, you stop spending it. 00:10:24.102 --> 00:10:28.173 I'm a spender. 00:10:28.173 --> 00:10:39.225 Okay, the reason this came up is because me and my wife are doing the Dave Ramsey thing, and so we're doing the little classes and they have you, take a little test of who's the free spirit, who's the nerd, who's the spender, who's the saver? 00:10:39.225 --> 00:10:40.690 She's the saver. 00:10:40.690 --> 00:10:42.686 I'm one of those that's like, ah, it'll be all right. 00:10:42.686 --> 00:10:45.823 Little blends she's the saver. 00:10:45.823 --> 00:10:48.940 I'm one of those that's like, ah, it'll be all right, lord blends off finances It'll be all right. 00:10:48.940 --> 00:10:50.966 That's our mindset. 00:10:50.966 --> 00:10:55.912 And when we come before the Lord to his throne room in prayer, our mindset is still that same way. 00:10:55.912 --> 00:10:58.363 And we're like God. 00:10:58.363 --> 00:11:01.211 Why is this happening? 00:11:01.211 --> 00:11:04.168 Because you keep making the same stupid choice. 00:11:08.541 --> 00:11:12.091 Is that too blunt for y'all Good? 00:11:12.091 --> 00:11:15.791 So we have habits. 00:11:15.791 --> 00:11:16.600 We have simple habits. 00:11:16.600 --> 00:11:22.065 We have lust, greed, envy, destroying the temple I used to smoke cigarettes. 00:11:22.065 --> 00:11:24.506 I understand that habit well. 00:11:24.506 --> 00:11:26.745 I used to also smoke meth. 00:11:26.745 --> 00:11:32.006 I was destroying the temple of the Holy Ghost and I let it destroy me. 00:11:32.006 --> 00:11:34.567 And not only did it destroy me, it started destroying the things around me. 00:11:35.710 --> 00:11:49.345 Self-doubt I consider that a bad habit, because God can put you in a place to minister to somebody, or put you in a place to be planted and to grow and have roots, and we will doubt ourselves out of our destiny. 00:11:49.345 --> 00:11:54.554 I can't do this, I'm not good enough. 00:11:54.554 --> 00:11:58.990 And then we miss out on God using us to bless somebody else. 00:11:58.990 --> 00:12:12.533 So if you want to be blunt and clear about it, we take the throne and say God, sit down for a second over here while I figure this out, you guys. 00:12:12.533 --> 00:12:16.991 Okay, I'm trying to land it easy, you all right, a little bit of turbulence. 00:12:16.991 --> 00:12:23.250 So we tell God you know, hey, you just be over here for a second. 00:12:23.250 --> 00:12:25.686 We have fear. 00:12:25.686 --> 00:12:29.042 Anybody here recently in the last few months been ran by fear? 00:12:29.042 --> 00:12:31.726 Has that ever came up? 00:12:31.726 --> 00:12:36.640 We're not even going to touch that one. 00:12:36.640 --> 00:12:44.522 We're going to drive on Bad finances, not being good stewards of what God has given us Relational habits. 00:12:45.504 --> 00:12:46.645 Anybody had somebody toxic. 00:12:46.645 --> 00:12:48.308 I saw a post Was it you that reposted it? 00:12:48.308 --> 00:12:50.332 It's talking about infants are toxic. 00:12:50.332 --> 00:12:57.496 They walk around the house destroying everything and then they smile and hug you later like they never did anything. 00:12:57.496 --> 00:13:05.109 So we have our own fleshly desires to rule our lives because we don't put God in his rightful place. 00:13:05.109 --> 00:13:09.346 And that's where it all starts. 00:13:09.346 --> 00:13:29.217 And then we turn around and we only pray to God when we need something instead of having a relationship with him, and we may come into church and sing in the songs and doing the dance a religion instead of a relationship, doing the dance, a religion instead of a relationship. 00:13:29.217 --> 00:13:35.647 And God needs and wants us to be in a relationship with him. 00:13:35.667 --> 00:13:37.850 Now, okay, I have been married before. 00:13:37.850 --> 00:13:49.519 None of you know this is not my first wife, she's my second, and the best Little brownie points right there throwing it in. 00:13:49.519 --> 00:13:53.062 And so then, my first marriage. 00:13:53.062 --> 00:13:56.951 I thought that marriage was supposed to be a certain way, that I was supposed to be the man to go and work the hard job. 00:13:56.951 --> 00:14:04.581 I come in, no matter if she works or not, and she's supposed to cook and clean and you know whatever else. 00:14:04.581 --> 00:14:07.591 Take care of the kids you know the standard cookie cutter this is how it works. 00:14:07.591 --> 00:14:22.243 Laundry, you know all the things that I am too busy and tired to do that don't fit in my second marriage, and it's nothing on her. 00:14:22.243 --> 00:14:31.176 I learned something from my first mistakes of always making my partner to carry the weight on them. 00:14:31.176 --> 00:14:34.806 And so this second marriage. 00:14:34.806 --> 00:14:35.668 I was like you know what? 00:14:35.668 --> 00:14:38.567 How about I not do this the wrong way twice? 00:14:38.567 --> 00:14:43.168 I'd rather not be on number three or four or five or six or seven. 00:14:43.168 --> 00:14:52.039 I'd rather not be on number three or four or five or six or seven, because Stephen was very, did not want to submit fully to God and then wanted my wife to submit to me. 00:14:53.280 --> 00:15:01.208 When a man, there's an order that the Bible puts out, but we want to say, woman, submit to me. 00:15:01.208 --> 00:15:05.625 Not in those words, because we like our teeth, but in our actions we act a certain way. 00:15:05.625 --> 00:15:06.221 Or you know, like this is the way it's, submit to me. 00:15:06.221 --> 00:15:06.994 Not in those words, because we like our teeth, but in our actions we act a certain way. 00:15:06.994 --> 00:15:08.995 Or this is the way it's supposed to be. 00:15:08.995 --> 00:15:16.850 But the Bible says to submit to God and then everything else will fall into place. 00:15:16.850 --> 00:15:30.764 And so when we put God in his rightful place, we have a posture of submission that will keep us out of the bad habits and the troubles. 00:15:32.947 --> 00:15:38.414 And so our brains work on a trigger and reward basis. 00:15:38.414 --> 00:15:42.799 If you don't know, we've been having a lot of people getting triggered lately. 00:15:42.799 --> 00:15:48.373 If you don't know, we've been having a lot of people getting triggered lately. 00:15:48.373 --> 00:15:59.989 I'm sorry, it's true, it's true, and it's because think about it when they get triggered or when we get triggered, I get upset about things too then we nourish it with reward and it's a constant loop of bad habits that get nourished by reward. 00:15:59.989 --> 00:16:09.831 I liked smoking cigarettes because my reward was the nicotine and I thought I looked really cool with smoke coming out of my mouth and we're being honest. 00:16:09.831 --> 00:16:17.592 But I had to get to where the reward was not worthy of the place I had set it in. 00:16:17.592 --> 00:16:32.049 So we are triggered and rewarded and it's called a habit loop, which means it is easy to slip into a routine and difficult to find a way back out. 00:16:32.259 --> 00:16:33.485 Have you ever found your place? 00:16:33.485 --> 00:16:37.389 I'm going finances again because we're doing this class, so it's fresh in my mind. 00:16:37.389 --> 00:16:39.607 Have you ever found your place in financial struggle? 00:16:39.607 --> 00:16:47.628 Like, oh, we got 12 credit cards, we have $50,000 in credit debt and you know car loans are debt too, so you have to calculate that in. 00:16:47.628 --> 00:17:17.255 So you have a car payment, you have a house payment, you have all these things and Proverbs talks about the lender is slave to the loaner, and so we get in these big holes financially, physically, spiritually, emotionally, relationally and we're having to dig ourselves back out because we've implemented these bad habits and they just become nature to us. 00:17:17.255 --> 00:17:28.028 So research shows that a full 40% of the time, our mind is on something else, while we complete actions automatically and to a certain extent. 00:17:28.028 --> 00:17:34.093 This is a desirable place and it enables us to get things done without actually having to think about it. 00:17:34.965 --> 00:17:41.152 Have you ever been driving somewhere and all of a sudden you look up and you're where your destination is, but you don't really remember the ride? 00:17:41.152 --> 00:17:50.792 I've done that several times and most of the time I don't think about it, but it scares me when I stop, and I do Because I'm like how did I get here? 00:17:50.792 --> 00:17:52.550 Like I knew I was going there. 00:17:52.550 --> 00:18:08.954 Okay, we have the destination in mind, but sometimes we put it in the middle on autopilot and we don't really be intentional about our prayer life, intentional about digging into the Word of God, intentional about finding freedom from the things that we have in our lives that hold us back and chain us down. 00:18:08.954 --> 00:18:13.375 And then we stop and we get to the destination and we're like how did I even get up here? 00:18:13.375 --> 00:18:15.670 How did I even get to where I'm at? 00:18:15.670 --> 00:18:16.853 I wasn't trying to get here. 00:18:16.853 --> 00:18:17.836 You ever done that before? 00:18:23.924 --> 00:18:35.692 We make wrong friends, we make wrong decisions, and every little decision, left or right will end you in a place that you may or may not want to be in, and to a certain extent, this is desirable and enables us to complete repetitive tasks without expending unnecessary concentration. 00:18:35.692 --> 00:18:40.019 So if you have low brain cells, you may have high, I'm sorry. 00:18:40.019 --> 00:18:47.876 So when you make a decision to eradicate a bad habit, you've already made the first choice. 00:18:47.876 --> 00:18:52.175 So we've already decided at the very beginning that we all have something we can work on. 00:18:52.175 --> 00:18:54.692 Okay, Don't make a list. 00:18:54.692 --> 00:18:56.621 Don't make your wife's list, don't make your husband's list. 00:18:56.621 --> 00:18:58.086 Just stick to your list. 00:18:58.086 --> 00:18:59.429 We'll work on you for a second. 00:18:59.429 --> 00:19:01.854 Okay, so we don't worry about that plank. 00:19:01.854 --> 00:19:07.211 So we have to identify the problem Keeping a habit journal, writing it down. 00:19:07.672 --> 00:19:19.751 If you've ever tried going to the store, okay, for the month or the week, whatever you do, whatever your system is, and don't make a list and see what you come back with, especially if you're hungry. 00:19:19.751 --> 00:19:22.297 That is the worst. 00:19:22.297 --> 00:19:23.519 We've done that a couple of times. 00:19:23.519 --> 00:19:26.013 We're like baby, we've got to eat because we're buying everything. 00:19:26.013 --> 00:19:28.371 I don't know how those people go to the store. 00:19:28.371 --> 00:19:28.893 We've seen it. 00:19:28.893 --> 00:19:30.029 We're talking about how do they pay for that? 00:19:30.029 --> 00:19:31.049 The cart's just packed full. 00:19:31.049 --> 00:19:32.731 I'm like what in the world do y'all? 00:19:32.731 --> 00:19:33.826 How many kids do you have? 00:19:33.826 --> 00:19:39.659 But if you ever go to a store without a list, you're usually in trouble. 00:19:39.659 --> 00:19:44.625 So why would you not attack something that you want to change about yourself and not make a list of how to do it? 00:19:46.209 --> 00:19:47.211 Plan out some steps. 00:19:47.211 --> 00:19:55.037 If you want to be better with finances, if you want to be better in your marriage, better with your kids, make out a list of things that you're doing now. 00:19:55.037 --> 00:19:59.355 And what I like to do is I like to go from the destination and work backwards. 00:19:59.355 --> 00:20:01.188 That's how I like to solve problems. 00:20:01.188 --> 00:20:03.613 I like to be hey, I want to get here. 00:20:03.613 --> 00:20:06.137 So this is my goal. 00:20:06.137 --> 00:20:15.269 Let's go backwards and chop it up into little, achievable steps so that I can make this not seem like too much to handle. 00:20:15.269 --> 00:20:22.526 Because habits can be that way, because you'll end up doing them over and over again, even after you make a plan, because you're like wait a minute, how am I back here again? 00:20:22.526 --> 00:20:27.516 So you want to be able to interrupt the bad habits. 00:20:27.516 --> 00:20:29.179 Interrupt them. 00:20:32.224 --> 00:20:40.794 Bad habits, have you ever noticed, are very, very, very easy to acquire and they are almost impossible to break. 00:20:40.794 --> 00:20:55.075 Smoking cigarettes wasn't that bad for me because I just quit smoking meth, so it was kind of like a well, this is easy, but that habit of having something in your hands was. 00:20:55.075 --> 00:21:02.811 So I did the vape thing for a while to try to break the habit and then knock down the nicotine a little bit at a time and, man, that saved my life. 00:21:02.811 --> 00:21:03.654 I never would have quit. 00:21:03.654 --> 00:21:06.913 So I had to get out of that habit. 00:21:06.913 --> 00:21:11.596 And people usually when they stop smoking they end up gaining weight because of that oral fixation. 00:21:11.596 --> 00:21:13.352 They want to chew on something or have something in their mouth. 00:21:13.352 --> 00:21:16.694 So it was very, very hard to break. 00:21:17.184 --> 00:21:21.676 But good habits are very hard to keep and maintain. 00:21:21.676 --> 00:21:30.948 It's like when you're in school it's easy to make an F, it's hard to get that A For some of you. 00:21:30.948 --> 00:21:31.750 Some of you are just smart. 00:21:31.750 --> 00:21:32.534 I don't want to talk to you. 00:21:32.534 --> 00:21:40.218 So today we're going to break down the word habit as an acronym H-A-B-I-T-S. 00:21:40.218 --> 00:21:47.974 Each of these letters will lead you down the path to better habits and also bring both self-improvement and self-awareness. 00:21:48.085 --> 00:22:02.792 If you have not been paying attention, almost every sermon I've preached in the past since I've been here, there has been some point where I bring up self-awareness, because we have become a non-self-aware church and we don't know ourselves and trying to tell other people what they should do. 00:22:02.792 --> 00:22:10.317 We don't know who we are and we're trying to tell other people who they should be. 00:22:10.317 --> 00:22:13.574 Does that make sense to anyone once you say it out loud? 00:22:13.574 --> 00:22:16.512 No, we have to be self-aware who we are. 00:22:16.512 --> 00:22:19.211 So we have to look in the mirror first before we can start. 00:22:19.211 --> 00:22:21.472 Some of us just like to take the mirror and walk to them. 00:22:21.472 --> 00:22:23.709 Hey, this is who you are. 00:22:23.709 --> 00:22:25.311 Here's a picture of Jesus. 00:22:25.311 --> 00:22:26.213 This is who you should be. 00:22:26.213 --> 00:22:28.239 It is a compute. 00:22:28.239 --> 00:22:30.992 We have to show them how to do it. 00:22:30.992 --> 00:22:37.597 So hopefully today I'll give you some little tidbits of how to self-improve and self-aware. 00:22:44.825 --> 00:22:49.005 One of our biggest reasons we fail to keep good habits and break bad ones is because our distorted identity. 00:22:49.005 --> 00:23:00.862 If you don't know who you are and who you are in Christ, your identity of yourself will be distorted. 00:23:00.862 --> 00:23:02.184 This distorted identity sabotages your success. 00:23:02.184 --> 00:23:03.707 This brings up the first letter in habits. 00:23:03.707 --> 00:23:07.050 We'll use it to discover a better way to make and break habits. 00:23:07.050 --> 00:23:10.174 H is healthy habits. 00:23:10.174 --> 00:23:12.038 I mean sorry, healthy identity. 00:23:12.038 --> 00:23:13.700 You want healthy habits. 00:23:13.700 --> 00:23:14.161 We're good in there. 00:23:14.161 --> 00:23:19.411 Healthy identity you need to first ask yourself who am I? 00:23:19.411 --> 00:23:21.734 Who am I? 00:23:21.734 --> 00:23:23.618 Who do I want to be? 00:23:23.618 --> 00:23:30.507 What do I need to do to get there. 00:23:30.528 --> 00:23:32.030 Often we're ready to start something new and get rid of the bad. 00:23:32.030 --> 00:23:32.893 New Year's resolutions are coming up. 00:23:32.893 --> 00:23:38.730 We make it till January 3rd right, I'm going to get fit this year, I'm going to be ripped. 00:23:38.730 --> 00:23:40.114 And then we make. 00:23:40.114 --> 00:23:55.507 We go to the gym like six times and we're like man, this is hard and I'm seeing no progress, like there's, there's no change and I'm killing myself because we start the the process of comparing to the other guys who've already been in there 10 years. 00:23:55.507 --> 00:24:02.948 And we do do that spiritually, I think, and we think listen, you've been, you've been. 00:24:02.948 --> 00:24:06.768 He's been coming to church for three months and God delivered him of this, this, this and this. 00:24:06.768 --> 00:24:08.573 And I'm still doing this over here. 00:24:08.573 --> 00:24:09.797 God, what's going on? 00:24:09.797 --> 00:24:13.551 Well, you haven't dug into your habits yet. 00:24:13.551 --> 00:24:15.616 You haven't dug into who you are. 00:24:15.616 --> 00:24:19.672 You have to have a healthy identity. 00:24:19.672 --> 00:24:24.968 Listen, often we're ready to start something new and get rid of a bad habit. 00:24:25.169 --> 00:24:27.534 We make a plan based on what we'll. 00:24:27.534 --> 00:24:32.148 Do you ever do that Like, okay, what do I do to get to where I want to be? 00:24:32.148 --> 00:24:34.474 Okay, so let's change this. 00:24:34.474 --> 00:24:42.019 Instead, we need to start with goals based on who who our God is and who we want to be. 00:24:42.019 --> 00:24:46.816 Saying I'm going to run a marathon is based on what you want to do. 00:24:46.816 --> 00:24:59.096 Saying I am fearfully and wonderfully made by God's strength, I want to become a runner is based on who God is and who you desire to become. 00:24:59.096 --> 00:25:03.335 You start with the who and it will lead you to the do. 00:25:03.335 --> 00:25:07.513 This is an identity-based goal. 00:25:07.513 --> 00:25:10.012 We need to put the who before the do. 00:25:10.012 --> 00:25:22.609 Learning who you are and whose you are changes the way you see yourself and then will change what you believe can be possible in your healthy habit goals, for example. 00:25:23.034 --> 00:25:27.193 Too many of us like to believe a lie, like I will always be this way. 00:25:27.193 --> 00:25:38.759 Has anyone that you know or love ever used the excuse well, that's just the way that I am. 00:25:38.759 --> 00:25:39.780 That's dangerous. 00:25:39.780 --> 00:25:41.443 Yeah, that's dangerous. 00:25:41.443 --> 00:25:43.249 Yeah, that's the way you are. 00:25:43.249 --> 00:25:45.194 God doesn't like it, change it. 00:25:45.194 --> 00:25:55.375 I mean, if we always stay the way that we are, how are we pursuing Christ If we always stay in our mindset of how we like things? 00:25:55.375 --> 00:25:57.730 And when I've preached before, I like things a certain way. 00:25:57.730 --> 00:25:59.468 I like the remotes where I put them. 00:25:59.468 --> 00:26:01.291 If somebody moves them, I get heated. 00:26:01.291 --> 00:26:14.527 I have my ways that I like, but spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally, I can't change anything about me until I figure out who I really want to be. 00:26:15.788 --> 00:26:17.792 And this is an identity crisis. 00:26:17.792 --> 00:26:24.355 This is an identity-based fear that needs an identity-based truth. 00:26:24.355 --> 00:26:30.275 Like the Spirit of God didn't give me fear, he gave me power, love and self-control. 00:26:30.275 --> 00:26:42.032 Your journey will start in this verse because that last part, self-control what are some of your identity-based lies? 00:26:42.032 --> 00:26:44.671 I want you to really think about it. 00:26:44.671 --> 00:26:47.673 You may not have come to church to think, but today you need to. 00:26:48.246 --> 00:26:49.832 If you want to make a change, you need to think about it. 00:26:49.832 --> 00:26:53.715 If you want to make progress, you have to first map out the path. 00:26:53.715 --> 00:27:02.174 So you have to think about what are your identity-based lies that you can replace with God's truth. 00:27:02.174 --> 00:27:12.176 Because when we start to do the who before the do, we start to realize who God is, and that starts to change how we do as well, which is also known as the fruit to the spirit. 00:27:12.176 --> 00:27:16.536 And if you aren't having the right fruit, you need to check your root. 00:27:16.536 --> 00:27:22.586 If you aren't, I'll say it again, just write it right across your face. 00:27:22.606 --> 00:27:31.775 Whatever, if you don't have the right fruit coming out, you need to change and figure out the root, because you may be rooted in some bad habits. 00:27:31.775 --> 00:27:34.467 You may be rooted in some bad relationships. 00:27:34.467 --> 00:27:41.058 You may be rooted in a bad job, and some of these things can be scary and crazy to even think about changing. 00:27:41.058 --> 00:27:44.612 But what is it worth to you? 00:27:44.612 --> 00:27:54.069 Sometimes the change in the growth and ripping up the plant by its roots to go plant it in another place is painful, but it's necessary. 00:27:54.069 --> 00:27:56.051 You have to get in better soil. 00:27:57.766 --> 00:28:04.815 You have to get around like-minded people like this church, because we want you to be connected to God, we want you to come to salvation. 00:28:04.815 --> 00:28:08.635 We want you to be connected to each other, to have great community. 00:28:08.635 --> 00:28:18.834 We want you to find freedom from the things that drag you down, the bad habits that you have that will keep you from growing closer to God, and we want you to get connected with the community. 00:28:18.834 --> 00:28:29.258 That's the four principles we believe at this church that your identity, that you have settled in with and have become okay with, what is it? 00:28:29.258 --> 00:28:32.732 What do you see when you look in the mirror? 00:28:32.732 --> 00:28:37.250 Do you see who God says you are? 00:28:37.250 --> 00:28:40.718 Do you see what everyone else around you says that you are? 00:28:40.718 --> 00:28:44.551 Do you see what your spouse says you are? 00:28:45.905 --> 00:28:55.997 There's a thing called codependency and you can easily base who you are on what someone else thinks of you, and that's unhealthy. 00:28:55.997 --> 00:29:05.577 When I told you I was married before, when she left me, my world like fell apart. 00:29:05.577 --> 00:29:14.113 That's where I really started drinking, I really started doing drugs, and because I felt empty inside, I was looking for something to fill, fill me. 00:29:14.113 --> 00:29:22.477 I knew the answer this man over here he's my, by the way, hey Dad, thanks for coming, don't get tricked. 00:29:22.477 --> 00:29:26.307 He didn't come to hear me preach, he came for the food for Thanksgiving, so. 00:29:28.410 --> 00:29:34.019 And so I had this emptiness because I based who I was in a relationship on them. 00:29:34.019 --> 00:29:38.898 And then, when that was gone, I felt like I didn't have another leg to stand on and I was just falling over. 00:29:38.898 --> 00:29:40.664 I felt like I didn't have another leg to stand on and I was just falling over. 00:29:40.664 --> 00:29:57.944 I felt like I couldn't stand anymore, and so that codependency choked the life out of my relationship with God, and so I had to get alone and really rebuild who I was again in Christ. 00:29:57.944 --> 00:30:04.785 And then God brought me the one that will stand beside me and won't let me stand on her. 00:30:04.785 --> 00:30:09.463 She's not my pedestal, she's my partner. 00:30:09.463 --> 00:30:26.049 She's the one God sent me so that we would be here today to do this and actually when we went through CAMS it's Calling and Ministry in the Church of God a husband and wife was leading it one day and they said listen, this works is she stands beside you, not behind you. 00:30:26.049 --> 00:30:26.730 I'm like woo mic drop. 00:30:26.730 --> 00:30:38.892 That's good, but that's the truth and I feel like we uh, we need to sometimes just learn our place and let God have his. 00:30:43.984 --> 00:30:46.053 We can never change our habits if we first don't address our identity. 00:30:46.053 --> 00:30:53.231 Romans 7.15 says this, and I love this because this describes me up and down. 00:30:53.231 --> 00:30:55.678 Things y'all know about, things you don't. 00:30:55.678 --> 00:30:59.594 Romans 7.15 says this I do not understand what I do For what? 00:30:59.594 --> 00:31:07.712 15 says this I do not understand what I do, for what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 00:31:07.712 --> 00:31:11.250 That was from Paul. 00:31:11.250 --> 00:31:16.313 He wrote majority of the New Testament. 00:31:18.506 --> 00:31:22.817 This is a man who knew what it was to struggle with his flesh. 00:31:22.817 --> 00:31:38.690 This is a man that understood that bad habits will destroy you and that they are hard to get rid of that in order to really grow, sometimes you have to take the weeds out and they hurt. 00:31:38.690 --> 00:31:41.250 They can be entangled in your roots. 00:31:41.250 --> 00:31:52.405 They can pull some of your roots out, but if you do not get rid of what is killing you, it will end you Five years down the road. 00:31:52.405 --> 00:31:53.448 You won't be here anymore. 00:31:53.448 --> 00:32:00.098 I do not understand what I do for what I want to do. 00:32:00.098 --> 00:32:05.811 I do not understand what I do for what I want to do, I do not do, but I hate what I do. 00:32:05.811 --> 00:32:21.555 This inner conflict in himself, a man who believed in Christ, who was giving his life, left everything that he knew for the cause of Christ and was still conflicted with fleshly desires. 00:32:21.555 --> 00:32:26.694 This isn't me coming to you saying get it right, idiot. 00:32:26.694 --> 00:32:33.854 This is me coming to you saying you can get it right If he was struggling in this way. 00:32:33.854 --> 00:32:37.532 We shouldn't shame each other. 00:32:37.532 --> 00:32:38.414 We should lift each other up. 00:32:40.205 --> 00:32:53.818 Paul understood the struggle, fighting against habits, and Romans 6 through 7 says For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with. 00:32:53.818 --> 00:33:01.872 You're going to have to kill some things and you're going to have to leave it bleeding and run. 00:33:01.872 --> 00:33:13.671 That's a little graphic, sorry, but that's how I think about things, because if I don't, if I don't take this serious, I'm going to end up back in the old Stephen area and I'm not going to let it happen. 00:33:13.671 --> 00:33:31.778 This is something that I cling to when I was making the changes that I knew God needed me to make that we should no longer be slaves to sin, because anyone who has died has been set free from sin. 00:33:31.778 --> 00:33:40.152 We have to die daily Because if we don't, the wrong things will grow. 00:33:40.152 --> 00:33:44.188 So in order to grow in maturity, we have to kill off some things. 00:33:44.188 --> 00:33:50.067 We must prune the things in our minds, hearts, lives, so that true growth can take place. 00:33:51.068 --> 00:34:00.556 Being intentional I'll say it again being intentional, doing things with a purpose, will lead you to the promise. 00:34:00.556 --> 00:34:03.753 Being intentional with your habits will set you free. 00:34:03.753 --> 00:34:11.572 So we've covered healthy identity and now we're at the A Ask for help. 00:34:11.572 --> 00:34:18.775 This is a big one to me, because I know I probably lost half of you right there. 00:34:18.775 --> 00:34:19.436 Like, hold on now. 00:34:19.436 --> 00:34:29.896 Nobody's supposed to know that I'm going through something, but the Bible actually tells us to confess one to another. 00:34:31.226 --> 00:34:33.393 Don't go giving your business to somebody you can't trust. 00:34:33.393 --> 00:34:35.411 Keep your inner circle tight. 00:34:35.411 --> 00:34:39.215 You can trust your pastors, but don't just go blasting your business everywhere. 00:34:39.215 --> 00:34:39.737 Okay, because some people will blast your business. 00:34:39.737 --> 00:34:44.289 Circle tight, you can trust your pastors, but don't just go blasting your business everywhere, okay, because some people will blast your business everywhere too. 00:34:44.289 --> 00:34:51.128 So use your brain and keep it close. 00:34:51.128 --> 00:34:53.635 Make sure you can trust them. 00:34:53.635 --> 00:34:54.436 You have to ask for help. 00:34:54.436 --> 00:34:54.726 Why? 00:34:54.726 --> 00:34:56.813 Because we need accountability. 00:34:57.907 --> 00:35:00.746 If you don't like accountability, then you seriously have some issues. 00:35:00.746 --> 00:35:05.494 We have to be able to keep each other accountable. 00:35:05.494 --> 00:35:10.992 I have to know that I can call Brother Jim and say listen, man, I messed up again. 00:35:10.992 --> 00:35:15.367 A pastor of the church messes up, I ain't Jesus Christ. 00:35:15.367 --> 00:35:16.088 Yes, I mess up. 00:35:16.088 --> 00:35:19.838 I mean, that's just a fact. 00:35:19.838 --> 00:35:28.137 And see, that's the mindset that we have in the church is that, oh, if someone messes up, we got to cut them down. 00:35:28.137 --> 00:35:35.177 That's not your job and actually there's a system in place in the Bible that you first go to them. 00:35:35.177 --> 00:35:39.789 If someone's wronged you, then you bring it to some elders, then you bring it before the church. 00:35:39.789 --> 00:35:40.592 There's a process. 00:35:40.592 --> 00:35:46.811 You don't get up and testify about your uncle over there that's dealing meth and you're like well, I just wish the Lord would save him. 00:35:46.811 --> 00:35:49.833 That's not going to help anybody and they won't come back. 00:35:51.585 --> 00:36:00.277 So we have to be careful of how we confess one to another, but we have to be vulnerable to each other Men vulnerable to men, women to women. 00:36:00.277 --> 00:36:05.599 I should have to point that out, but I will. 00:36:05.599 --> 00:36:10.018 Okay, ladies, don't come up and talk to me about your personal business. 00:36:10.018 --> 00:36:11.503 I'm married to that lady right there. 00:36:11.503 --> 00:36:17.099 She's the only one that can talk about her stuff to me. 00:36:17.099 --> 00:36:18.342 So just saying, I'm being blunt. 00:36:18.342 --> 00:36:22.586 Okay, this is not me chastising anybody. 00:36:22.586 --> 00:36:24.251 This is me playing it safe and following what I feel is the right protocol. 00:36:24.251 --> 00:36:32.567 Men on men, women on women, we help each other out, okay, cool, so call me up. 00:36:32.987 --> 00:36:35.490 So, in order to be mature, though, we have to accept these things. 00:36:35.490 --> 00:36:49.201 We have to be willing to be vulnerable to somebody else, because if you close yourself off and you don't ever let anybody in your little bubble, you will start piling up things that you're hiding. 00:36:49.201 --> 00:36:53.105 If you don't feel like you can get caught, you'll try to get away with it. 00:36:53.105 --> 00:37:00.710 That's what they call skeletons in the closet, and that also reminds me of a Bible story of when the skeletons came back alive. 00:37:00.710 --> 00:37:03.914 They will come and get you, and it will destroy everything you love. 00:37:03.914 --> 00:37:09.389 So be vulnerable to somebody, be intentional with your habits. 00:37:09.409 --> 00:37:11.434 Well, I don't know, what are they going to say about me? 00:37:11.434 --> 00:37:14.106 Who cares? 00:37:14.106 --> 00:37:15.588