Are You Really a Girl’s Girl? Rooting for Her vs. Competing with Her

Have you ever caught yourself publicly cheering for another woman while privately wondering, "When will it be my turn?" That tension between performance and authenticity is exactly what Coach Tocha Moore unpacks in this honest conversation about what it truly means to be a "girl's girl" in today's social media-driven world.

Beyond the trending hashtags and inspirational reposts lies a deeper question we must ask ourselves: Are we genuinely celebrating other women's successes, or are we just going through the motions while harboring silent competition? With refreshing transparency, Coach Tocha admits her own journey from comparison to true celebration, revealing how a scarcity mindset can poison even our most well-intentioned support of other women.

The breakthrough comes with a powerful realization: purpose is not a pie with limited slices to distribute. Your unique calling and blessing are secure and cannot be stolen or diminished by someone else's success. This fundamental shift transforms how we show up for the women in our lives – moving from performative support to authentic celebration rooted in abundance rather than fear.

Coach Tocha offers three practical strategies for becoming a true "girl's girl": blessing women both privately and publicly, checking your motives before engaging, and celebrating without qualification. These simple but profound practices create a foundation for genuine sisterhood that transcends surface-level support.

Ready to transform how you support the women in your life? Text a woman today and tell her something specific you admire about her. Your journey to becoming a real champion of other women starts with this episode – because when we truly understand that another woman's light doesn't dim our own, we create limitless possibilities for all of us to shine together.

Thank you for joining us on this journey to empowerment. Remember, you are worth fighting for H.E.R.

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:10

Hey y'all, what's up? Squad, it's your girl, your coach, Coach Tasha Moore. I hope that you are already having a wonderful, wonderful, intentional, purpose-filled start to your week. How are we doing with our goals? Did we reach what we said we were going to reach? If we did, we're going to love on ourselves a little bit. We will give yourself a hug and if you're different, it's okay, girlfriend, we're still going to clap it up. We're going to clap it up and if not, we're going to let it go Start again. It's a new week ahead. My hair is still a little sunwalking, but I hope that you are already doing, setting intentions, doing all the things that you say you were going to do on this wonderful week. I keep saying and I'm trying to stop y'all, so work with me, okay, hope that you guys are already doing amazing.

Speaker 1 1:04

This episode will release the week of Easter. It's always a wonderful, crazy all of the thin time in my household. If you're anything like me, you just start. I know for me, I just start thinking about the weight of what the day means, and so I'm usually an emotional, blubbering mess this time of year. Because, um, I love Eastern, what it means and what it stands for for me, cause I'm a girl over here, okay, um. So, with that being said, we're going to get into the nitty gritty. I'm trying.

Speaker 1 1:38

Hey, scott, welcome back to today's episode of the squad podcast. It is your girl, your coach, coach Tasha Moore. We're here, we share stories and we encourage ourselves to be the best version of ourselves every single day. How's your week going so far? Hope, it is amazing that you're doing all the things that you wanted. How are we going with goal setting? Did we reach what we said we're going to reach? No, yes, we did. Okay, we're going to reach. No, yes, we did. Okay, we're going to hug it up. Hug it up? No, we did not. That's okay. We're going to clap it down, clap it up. However, you want to do it and say that tomorrow's a new day for us to reset and start again. Start again, sis, Do you hear me? Don't let one off day, week, month, whatever it's been, stop you from reaching what you said you're going to do. I believe in you. I believe that you can do it. Let's get it, let's go Y'all.

Are You Really a Girl's Girl?

Speaker 1 2:28

Today is going to be a short, sweet, straight to the point type of podcast, right? I love being able to connect with y'all in a way that says you know what? Let's just be honest about where we are, and so on. Today I wanted to talk about I love that. I say I'm a girl's girl. You know, cheering, championing for women, all the things, and it makes me think where I am now was that where I always was? And the truth is no, it's not.

Speaker 1 3:02

We're talking about something that's trending on social or whatever, if you're following it, and it's the girl's girl era, like you know, I like to think I'm a girl's girl. Um, I mean, you've seen the post. Support women, be a girl's girl, support your sisters. Help her fix her crown before you fix your own. Yeah, what is my hair doing? Um, and so it's cute, it's catchy. But I want to talk about. I've got a question are you really rooting for her? Or are we just reposting what looks good and what sounds good, what's catchy and what's trending and what everyone is doing? Because the truth is, if that's what we're doing, then we're missing it, we're missing the mark, we're missing it up. So let's start with what is a girl's girl right? What does it mean to be a girl's girl? I know I say that, like I'm a girl's girl. People be like oh my gosh, that's what it is. The idea is that you're a woman that supports other women and that you're a woman that supports other women and it sounds great. It's catchy catchphrase. Everyone's doing it, it's trending. You know you're the one that champion. You know you're the hype woman. You're the one that is clapping from the sidelines and fixing the crowns of all the people and cheering because she's one Sounds great, right? We all think we're doing that as women.

Speaker 1 4:23

I will raise my hand and say I thought that I was, but here's the thing it's easy to support someone when you're not triggered by her success. When is it going to be my turn? When is it going to happen for me? Has anyone ever said that? Have you ever said that? Can we just go ahead on and go there today? Because we say it and as long as someone else's success is not triggering us, we're good Y'all.

Speaker 1 4:53

I can raise my hand and say I've been in both places where I truly thought I was championing, cheering and doing the things, but then sometimes I would look and see things and be like, well, when is it going to be my turn? So you know I'm happy for her and or, but, or whatever it's been, I've been the woman who cringe not really cringe, but when it was like I've been working so hard, I've been doing things and how come I'm not there yet? I'm being honest, truthful and transparent, because that's what we do over here on the squad podcast, all right, and I smiled, but the truth is, in my quiet moments with myself I was like, yes, sis, out loud, but then in private I'd be like when is it going to be my turn? When is it going to be Tasha's turn? Right.

Competing Instead of Celebrating

Speaker 1 5:50

And so sometimes that can lead us to being in a space and place of where we are having these silent competitions with other women. Yeah, we're going to talk about it today. We're going to call it out. Y'all know, some of us are doing it. We're rooting and we're going to talk about it today. We're going to call it out. Y'all know, some of us are doing it. We're rooting and we're competing.

Speaker 1 6:07

We've convinced ourselves in some way that if she's shining, then that means there's less light or less room for me. Not the truth, do you hear me? It's not the truth. We've convinced ourselves right, and so I want to remind you today that purpose y'all.

Speaker 1 6:28

I was a purpose coach for a long time. Purpose is not a pie. We don't have to cut off slices. Do y'all hear me? There's enough for all of us. Your assignment, my assignment, my purpose, your purpose, the thing that you are meant to do in this earth is yours and yours alone, and it doesn't matter how many people are doing something similar. There's only one, you right. There's only one, me.

Speaker 1 6:54

And so the mindset of comparing competing, low-key hated is rooted in fear, like I'm never going to make it. It's not going to happen for me. I'm not good enough, I'm not qualified. I'm going to raise my hand and say that was me. I would walk into rooms and feel intimidated by other women because I felt unqualified. It had nothing to do with them, it was all a myth and it was rooted in fear that I wasn't good enough to be in the room with them. Do y'all hear me?

Speaker 1 7:20

On today, it was rooted in fear, right? Fear is your blessing is not on the schedule. Fear will have you thinking that your blessing will never happen. But I want to encourage you on today that the truth is your blessing doesn't have a date on it. And because you fear that you're not enough for all the things, right. The truth is, the God that I serve is not a scarcity type of God. Hello, church and amen Y'all. He's abundant, his blessings overflow. They're for me, they're for you, they're for all of us.

Speaker 1 7:55

And so, where our mind would want to tell us that we're in competition with each other, I would want today for us to start realizing that we're in competition with each other. I would want today for us to start realizing that we should be collaborating with one another. There is no competition. Our God is an abundant God. He has enough for us all. He gave us something specific to do. Yours is yours, mine is mine. And that doesn't mean we can't work together and we should surely be cheering for one another. Do y'all hear me Right? And when we think like that, we realize and we understand that you can cheer for other women because your turn is secure. Hello, did y'all hear that you can cheer for other women because your turn is secure? You don't have to worry about her taking it because you can't, it's yours. Okay.

Your Purpose Is Not a Pie

Speaker 1 8:52

And so then it leads me to the next part that I wanted to talk about. Like, how do we, how are we real in an era that has us feeling like we can't be real. I'll say it like that. And so what does it look like to be a girl's girl now, in the era that we're living in? So I want to give you some three little things that I think are then, um one, bless her in private and in public. Y'all. Don't be that person that sends them a little message knowing that you know them or you see something on social, and then you're like, oh, you say something to bless her in private and public. If you so feel inclined to do right, hype her up Even when she's not in the room, not just when you're in front of her face.

Speaker 1 9:48

Like, oh, my goodness, I walk into rooms and my one friend and she knows I say her name in every room I walk in if their opportunity presents it, and I feel like she absolutely positively does the same for me. Like, oh, you need to meet my friend. Oh, you need to meet my homegirl. Oh, you need to meet my friend. Oh, you need to meet my homegirl. Oh, you need to meet this person. And I genuinely am giving names in rooms. It doesn't have to benefit me in any way shape, form or fashion, but I am truly like, hey, you need to connect with this person. She's amazing and I absolutely think that she can help you Right? So that's the first thing Bless her in private and public.

Speaker 1 10:25

Second thing check your motives before you comment. Are you encouraging or just wanting to be seen as encouraging? Are you truly encouraging that person to win or do you just want to be seen as encouraging? Because, let me tell you something there's so many conversations that I have with people that people would never even know about and I will never speak on it to encourage another person to go after it. I don't care who knows, I don't care who sees, I don't care about a poster, any of that, but I really want the women that God leads into my life to win, and so I'm encouraging them in ways that I'm just like wow, like I really do want her to win. Are you doing that? Are you doing it to do it or to be seen doing it? All right. And then the third thing is y'all celebrate her, listen, y'all. You can celebrate other women, because the my oil only overflows in my lane.

Three Ways to Be a True Girl's Girl

Speaker 1 11:27

I don't try to go into other people's lane because it's not mine. There's been so many times where I've been asked to collaborate on things and I'm like that's not really my lane, but I know someone whose it is, and that doesn't stop me from trying and expanding and doing new things by any means. And I know my lane. My lane is empowering and encouraging women to see things in themselves that they did not see before. That's my lane and I'm aware of it and I'm good with it. Not as in oh, she's good, no, I'm okay with that. It truly fills my tank. I don't have to cross over into another lane until God tells me to my flow in my lane. Your flow in your lane doesn't mean you can't collaborate with other people in their lane and bring value and add things to them. That's the purpose of it all.

Speaker 1 12:25

And so Romans 12 and 15 says rejoice for those who rejoice. It doesn't say pretend. It says rejoice deep down, from the depths of who you are Now. That is sisterhood, that's a girl's girl, that's kingdom building right there, where you're not just saying it because you truly are rejoicing, because you are like yes, girl, yes, are you with me today. So I'll ask you again are you really truly rooting for her? And yes, this is a short, sweet episode. I told y'all it was going to be right, because a girl's girl can be a thing, y'all. It's more than a vibe, it's a value. Do you hear me? It's a value, and I believe that when we truly support each other with clean hearts and a clean, clear mind, something so beautiful will happen.

Speaker 1 13:31

In this world, where women don't say things like I hear all the time, I don't do women, I said it, I don't have friends. Women are catty, they can't work together, y'all. I can't tell you the amount of times that I hear things like this. Tell you the amount of times that I hear things like this. There'd be no limit to what God can do through us connecting with each other. I was just sharing with someone the other day about teaching my children that it is not a you versus them, but an us right, a me versus you. It's a us versus whatever we're facing. So if I can lock arms and not be intimidated or feel inadequate or anything with other women, how much greater is our reach? And I don't care if you have a podcast, an office, driving your children to school, whatever you're doing, how are you champing around the women in your life, how are you showing up for them in a way that says I see you and I'm encouraging you to go after whatever it is that you're supposed to be doing, and so, all right, y'all, y'all started getting teared out.

Speaker 1 14:57

This hit home for me. It really made me think, like, am I really and truly encouraging women in a way that's not for show or any of those things? And this spurred from a conversation that I've been having actually a couple of weeks now, I think I've been having with people in different settings, kind of along the same lines, like when we can't work together, yes, we can, unless this bell that lie that the enemy is trying to make us believe. And so I want to encourage you on this week or whenever you catch this podcast, text a woman in your life right now and tell her something that you admire about her. I got a I don't know if y'all still use Marco Polo, but I do Some of my friends and I still do and Marco Polo, I got a message and I stopped it before I even finished listening with tears in my eyes, and Marco pulled back like oh, my goodness, way to make me cry early in the morning.

Building Real Sisterhood

Speaker 1 15:58

It was just a sweet message, like I won't say all the things that were said, but it truly touched my heart, and so text somebody, call somebody, let somebody know something that you admire about them. Right, I'm posted on social. Whatever you want to do, whatever I'm here, do something and y'all and share this episode with somebody who needs that reminder. We don't have to be out here like we can't work together. We don't have to be out here upset and always looking at other women like when is my time is coming, when is my time coming? Because your time is coming. It doesn't have an expiration date on what will be done through you, in you and because of you.

Speaker 1 16:46

All right, do y'all hear me on today? All right, I'm going to get my um, I'm going to do the rapid fire questions. Honestly, I don't even know if I have any rapid fire questions today. Let me go see. I don't think I do. And, um, honestly, I'm okay if I don't, because I think this episode really and truly speaks to us as to where we are and what we're doing and how we should be treating each other, cause it makes me. It truly hurts my heart when I hear women say things that I used to say to myself I don't have friends, I don't need friends, I don't want friends, and that's just not true. I allowed myself to see that another woman's light doesn't dim mine in any way and, vice versa, that I can clap for her and cheer for her and know that one day, whenever, if ever, I don't have to wonder when my time is coming because it will, um, and I'm thankful because I know that it will happen. All right, I do have rapid fire questions for this. Give me uh, uh. I'm not gonna read all this great um.

Speaker 1 18:32

What's one compliment you've given another woman this week? I told a lady today I believe that it was that everything that she was doing she was qualified to do because she was dismissing herself. And I'm like no, you're doesn't matter what you think the fact that you've been given an assignment Because you know we got girls over here and you have to do it, because somebody needs you to do it, and so I gave it a compliment of like you're qualified to do it, cut it out. Who's a woman you secretly admire but haven't told yet Y'all? I don't know. Okay, I'm going to say somebody famous and mine would be. A woman that I truly, truly admire is Priscilla Shrier. That's just the truth, and I haven't told her because I haven't met her yet.

Speaker 1 19:27

And women in my life, god has just allowed me to come to a space and being so intentional with telling them, like, if I see somebody in the grocery store and I love her haircut, I'd be like, oh my goodness. I actually gave a lady a compliment the other day in the store and I loved the shirt that she had on Actually, it was her one at the gas station. I told her I loved her hair. And then another lady it was a shirt. I told her I loved her hair. And then another lady it was a shirt, and I was like, ooh, I love that shirt, it's really pretty on you. And so I went through a phase where God just had me telling people like, tell her. And I would be like that's crazy. I'm not about to tell this lady that, but I did. I started just giving women compliments because I realized we as women will say it in our head Like, ooh, I like her purse.

Rapid Fire Questions and Final Thoughts

Speaker 1 20:11

Or celebrate silently oh, I'm cheering from the front row, front and center, woo-woo, hands raised, if I can have a cowbell. Or I'm in there, I'm in the building with it all. What's one red flag in a friendship? You no longer ignore? Consistency and consistency. I would say that I no longer ignore that or reciprocity Is that what it is? Reciprocation I'll say that Reciprocation when, and not that it's a tip for a tap.

Speaker 1 20:47

But if I'm taking time to call you, I would like for you sometimes to take time to call me like that, not just, oh, I did this and you didn't, but just making sure that I'm making an effort to show up for you in a way that you need me to. Whatever that looks like, I would like for the same thing to happen this way as well, and so I pay attention to that, because I found myself running and chasing people all the time and I don't have the time or the capacity to do that anymore. Now I'm not saying I'm not going to run after my friends. Hear me when I say, clearly I was doing it in a wrong, unhealthy way. Okay, and so now I look at it in a healthy perspective to say and I also have conversations with people to say, hey, I feel like this. Let me know if my feelings are. If you feel the same, they're not relevant. Help me walk through what I'm feeling and what's a way I protect my peace.

Speaker 1 21:55

When comparison creeps in the word, I will sit and pray and say, no, catch it, check it, change it is what I say, like that's a thought. Where did it come from? What has you feeling that way, checking what's going on in my day, my week, my whatever, and then changing it to like, okay, that that's not true. Or maybe I feel like it's true. What conversation do I need to have? Do I need to have Yo? On this wonderful day?

Speaker 1 22:17

And at the end of this podcast, I want y'all to ask yourself am I really clapping, or am I doing it from a perspective of I'm clapping for her only because I know my time is next? I have no idea what. Whatever it is you're trying to accomplish, you know that my time is next. What is every day that I it is you're trying to accomplish? You know that my time is next. What is every day that I wake up is time added to my life, and so I get to choose in those moments, and every day for me is a win. Every day that I wake up and I get to spend with my husband and my children and my family and my friends and you all, that's a win. So my time is now. That's what I tell myself. Oh, when, my time, my time is now Every day my time. Oh well, girl, when you get there, I'm already there. I woke up this morning. I'm there. Hello, are y'all with me? Every day that I wake up is a winning day for me. I hope it's the same for you.

Speaker 1 23:11

Y'all, get out there, move, groove, shake and bake. Walk in. Your purpose. Your purpose connects to someone else. They cannot walk in theirs until you are walking in yours. We are combat ready. Y'all. See, I got my camo on today. We are always fighting for the best version of ourselves. Y'all, I will catch y'all next week. Have an amazing rest of your week, reach your goals. I believe that you will. I know that you will. I know that you can. I am truly clapping for you because I am a girl's girl and I want you all to win. Y'all. I will see y'all later. Bye.