Episode 06 – Reflecting on Ourselves: Reflexive Verbs in Chapter One

🎙 Podcast Episode Six: Impariamo l’italiano piano piano – Un impegno quotidiano

In this episode, we dive into i verbi riflessivi—reflexive verbs that describe actions we do to or for ourselves. You’ll learn how to recognize them, how to conjugate them in the present tense and passato prossimo, and how to use them naturally in context.

With examples from Chapter One of our story, plus a few poetic detours (thanks to Antonio), this episode marks the end of the first chapter—and a major milestone in your Italian learning journey!

🌟 Highlights:

✔️ What makes a verb reflexive—and how to spot it in Italian.
 ✔️ Step-by-step conjugation of realizzarsi, chiedersi, and aprirsi in present and past tenses.
✔️ Examples from the story—and how reflexive verbs deepen meaning.
✔️ A final review with practice sentences and pronunciation support.
✔️ A preview of what’s coming next (hint: vocabulary, flashcards, and a very special guest!).

🎯 Practice Makes Perfect:
 Want to feel more confident before our upcoming interview?
 Be sure to check out Bonus Episode 04 – Vocabulary from our Interview with Professoressa Daniela Bartalesi-Graf.

📜 Need the transcript?
 If your podcast app doesn’t show it, visit welearnitalian.buzzsprout.com to read or download the full transcript.

⏳ Chapter Markers:
0:00 Introduction – What are reflexive verbs?
4:03 Examples of Reflexive Sentences
6:09 Reflexive Pronouns Explained
6:58 How to Recognize Reflexive Verbs
7:49 How to Form Reflexive Verbs (Steps)
9:10 Conjugating an -ARE Reflexive Verb: realizzarsi
11:07 Conjugating an -ERE Reflexive Verb: chiedersi
12:52 Conjugating an -IRE Reflexive Verb: aprirsi
14:22 Sample Reflexive Sentences for Practice
17:46 Reflexive Verbs in Passato Prossimo
19:20 Steps to Form Reflexive Verbs in Passato Prossimo
21:47 Conjugating realizzarsi in Passato Prossimo
24:03 Conjugating chiedersi in Passato Prossimo
25:19 Conjugating aprirsi in Passato Prossimo
26:36 Chapter 1, Part 4 – English/Italian Translation
31:45 Wrap-up + What’s Next

Chapters

• 0:00 Intro
• 4:03 Examples of Reflexive Sentences
• 6:09 Reflexive Pronouns Explained
• 6:58 How to Recognize Reflexive Verbs
• 7:49 How to Form Reflexive Verbs (Steps)
• 9:10 Conjugating an -ARE Reflexive Verb: realizzarsi
• 11:07 Conjugating an -ERE Reflexive Verb: chiedersi
• 12:52 Conjugating an -IRE Reflexive Verb: aprirsi
• 14:22 Sample Reflexive Sentences for Practice
• 17:46 Reflexive Verbs in Passato Prossimo
• 19:16 Steps to Form Reflexive Verbs in Passato Prossimo
• 21:39 Conjugating realizzarsi in Passato Prossimo
• 23:56 Conjugating chiedersi in Passato Prossimo
• 25:09 Conjugating aprirsi in Passato Prossimo
• 26:27 Chapter 1, Part 4 – English/Italian Translation
• 31:37 Wrap-up + What’s Next

Transcript

It was opening itself; They will realize themselves; They were sitting themselves; He was just relaxing himself; She adjusted herself; She was asking herself.

If you were to say these words in Italian, what kind of verbs would you be using?  That’s it, you’d be using reflexive verbs. 

Of course we don’t necessarily say these phrases so literally in English, 
 because the faucet does not actually open itself. 

They don’t realize themselves; they would probably just realize. You could say they were sitting themselves, but in English we’d probably say simply that they were sitting. And while you could relax yourself, you could just as   easily say you were relaxing. You might say you adjust yourself but if you’re trying to say you adjusted your scarf or your hair, in English we’d just leave out ‘yourself’, and we could say she was asking herself, but more likely we’d say, she was wondering.
 
Antonio:
Myra, ammettilo… ti chiedi anche tu ogni tanto se Antonio è troppo affascinante per questo podcast, vero?
(Myra, admit it… you also sometimes ask yourself if Antonio is too charming for this podcast, right?)

Myra:

Do I ask myself if you are too charming for this podcast? 
 Solo quando non mi chiedo come tu riesca ad essere così modesto… allo stesso tempo.
(Only when I’m not wondering how you manage to be so modest at the same time.)

So here we have a difference between how reflexive verbs are used in English and in Italian. In English, reflexive verbs are less common and often use reflexive pronouns (myself, yourself, himself, and so on.). which are placed after the verb. For instance, “I make myself a cup of tea”. In Italian reflexive pronouns typically precede the verb, for example, “We enjoy ourselves” – Ci divertiamo; except when they are attached to the end of infinitives, gerunds or imperatives, such as:

• Attached to infinitive: Vogliamo divertirci.(We want to enjoy ourselves.)
• Attached to gerund: Stiamo divertendoci. (We are enjoying ourselves.)
• Attached to imperative: Divertiti! (Enjoy yourself!)

We will cover the gerund and imperative (gerundio e imperativo) in future episodes. So if you have not completely mastered those two yet, don’t worry. We will get there.

In a nutshell, Italian reflexive verbs with their corresponding pronouns (mi, ti, si, ci, vi, si) are much more commonly used, and understood a little differently than in English.

Before we get into the nuts and bolts of putting together reflexive verbs let’s take a look at some of the reflexive verbs that have shown up in the first chapter of our story.

Don’t worry if you don’t fully understand these examples the first time you hear them. 

Using the chapter markers in the podcast player you can repeat this section if you’d like to go over them again. For now, just try to absorb the grammar and vocabulary as you hear the words spoken.

After I say the English, there will be a pause (for you to try to say the sentence) and then the Italian will be given twice.

Myra:
 Your dreams will come true one day.

Paolo:
I tuoi sogni si realizzeranno un giorno.

Antonio:
Myra! Non dirmi che stavi per far partecipare Paolo… di nuovo?! Dopo il suo comportamento l’ultima volta?
(Myra! Don’t tell me you were about to let Paolo participate… again?! After his behaviour last time?)

Myra:
Yes, I was going to let Paolo participate. But then, perhaps you’re right, your poetic rhythm, Antonio, is better suited for dream fulfillment. What do you say, Paolo?

Paolo:
Mi rassegno… come sempre.
(I resign myself… as always.)

Antonio:
Non preoccuparti… I tuoi sogni… si realizzeranno… un giorno… Paolo!
 (Don’t worry… your dreams… will come true… one day… Paolo!)

Myra:
I don’t think Paolo’s dreams ever included being married to a podcaster. 

Well… eccoci. Let’s get back to translating the reflexive sentences.

Myra:
 They all sat by the fireplace in the residence connected to the library.

Antonio:
Si sedevano tutti accanto al camino nella residenza collegata alla biblioteca.

Myra:
 She was just relaxing when she heard a knock at the door.

Antonio:
Si stava appena rilassando quando sentì bussare alla porta.

Myra:
 She came in, took off her wet jacket, and fixed her hair.

Antonio:
 È entrata, si è tolta la giacca bagnata e si è sistemata i capelli.

Myra:
Mariella wondered what her grandmother might have left her.

Antonio:
Mariella si chiese cosa sua nonna potesse averle lasciato.

Reflexive Verbs describe actions where the subject and the object of the verb are the same. In Italian, we need to remember to add the reflexive pronouns (mi, ti, si, ci, vi, si), normally before the verb. For example:

I open myself - mi apro

You realize yourself - ti realizzi

We ask ourselves - ci chiediamo

You all sit yourselves - vi sedete

They relax themselves - si rilassano

But let’s back up a little and talk about how we know if a verb is reflexive and how to form it.

To begin, how do we know when a verb is reflexive?

You can recognize reflexive verbs by the reflexive pronoun. If you look up the verb in a dictionary or a conjugation table, you will find that in its infinitive form, it ends with -si.

• to open oneself – aprirsi
• to realize oneself – realizzarsi
• to ask oneself – chiedersi
• to sit oneself – sedersi
• to relax oneself – rilassarsi

How do we form reflexive verbs?

To form reflexive verbs, you need two components:

• A reflexive pronoun (mi, ti, si, ci, vi, si), which matches the subject of the verb.
• The verb conjugated in the appropriate tense.

Steps to Form Reflexive Verbs

1. Identify the Verb and Its Reflexive Pronoun

2. Remove the suffix ‘si and conjugate the verb, as you would normally, according to its type (-are, -ere, or -ire) in the required tense.

realizzare is an -are verb.
 aprire is an -ire verb.
 chiedere is an -ere verb.

In the present indicative tense, these three verbs all behave as regular verbs, so we can keep it simple here.

3. And finally, add the reflexive pronoun (mi, ti, si, ci, vi, si) in front of the conjugated verb.

The pronoun must match the subject of the verb.

Are we are ready to conjugate these three verbs? Allora, cominciamo!

1. Realizzarsi (to realize oneself)

Step 1: Identify the verb type and reflexive ending

• Realizzarsi ends in -si, marking it as reflexive.
• The base verb realizzare is a regular -are verb.

Step 2: Conjugate the verb as a regular -are verb

Add the standard present-tense endings for -are verbs: -o, -i, -a, -iamo, -ate, -ano.
So let’s apply indicative present tense conjugation to realizare.

• Io realizzo
• Tu realizzi
• Lui/Lei realizza
• Noi realizziamo
• Voi realizzate
• Loro realizzano

Step 3: Add the reflexive pronoun

Place the appropriate reflexive pronoun (mi, ti, si, ci, vi, si) in front of the conjugated verb.

Subject Reflexive Pronoun Conjugated Verb

·       Io mi realizzo

·       Tu ti realizzi

·       Lui/Lei si realizza

·       Noi ci realizziamo

·       Voi vi realizzate

·       Loro si realizzano

Next let’s leave off the subject pronouns because quite often Italians don’t use them.

Final Conjugation 

·       mi realizzo

·       ti realizzi

·       si realizza

·       ci realizziamo

·       vi realizzate

·       si realizzano

The next verb is:

2. Chiedersi (to ask oneself)

Step 1: Identify the verb type and reflexive ending

•             Chiedersi ends in -si, marking it as reflexive.

•             The base verb chiedere is a regular -ere verb.

Step 2: Remove the reflexive ending and conjugate the verb as a regular -ere verb

Add the standard present-tense endings for -ere verbs: -o, -i, -e, -iamo, -ete, -ono.

•             Io chiedo

•             Tu chiedi

•             Lui/Lei chiede

•             Noi chiediamo

•             Voi chiedete

•             Loro chiedono

Step 3: Add the reflexive pronoun

Place the appropriate reflexive pronoun (mi, ti, si, ci, vi, si) in front of the conjugated verb.

Subject              Reflexive           

Io           mi          chiedo 

Tu          ti            chiedi  

Lui/Lei si           chiede

Noi        ci           chiediamo       

Voi        vi            chiedete           

Loro      si           chiedono          

And finally, removing the subject pronouns
 *conjugation repeated without the subject pronouns*

3. Aprirsi (to open oneself)

Step 1: Identify the verb type and reflexive ending

• Aprirsi ends in -si, marking it as reflexive.
• The base verb aprire is a regular -ire verb.

Step 2: Conjugate the verb as a regular -ire verb

Add the standard present-tense endings for -ire verbs: -o, -i, -e, -iamo, -ite, -ono.

• Io apro
• Tu apri
• Lui/Lei apre
• Noi apriamo
• Voi aprite
• Loro aprono

Step 3: Add the reflexive pronoun

Place the appropriate reflexive pronoun (mi, ti, si, ci, vi, si) in front of the conjugated verb.

Subject              Reflexive Pronoun       Conjugated Verb

Io                          mi          apro

Tu                         ti             apri

Lui/Lei                 si            apre

Noi                      ci            apriamo

Voi                       vi            aprite

Loro                    si            aprono

Leaving off the subject pronouns:

(Conjugation repeated without the subject pronouns)

 If you’ve been following this podcast you will know that I leave gaps purposely in these exercises so that you can either say the answer or press pause and then say the answer after I give the prompt.  

And now here are some present tense sentences for practice:

These sentences are not exactly how we would say these phrases in English but it may help you to think in the Italian way when trying to understand reflexive verbs in Italian. 

I’ll say the sentence in English, then the italian will be given twice, first a little slower than normal, then at normal speed, with gaps between for you to practice saying them out loud.

I ask myself if I am making the right decision.
Mi chiedo se sto prendendo la decisione giusta.
 
 Antonio (unexpectedly pensive):
Myra… mi sto chiedendo se sono stato troppo duro con Paolo.
(Myra… I’m asking myself if I was too hard on Paolo.)
 

Myra:
That’s actually very—
 

Antonio:
—Ma poi mi sono reso conto: solo una voce può guidare questi ascoltatori… ed è la mia!
(—But then I realized: only one voice can lead these listeners… and it’s mine!)

Myra:
…And we’re back.

She opens herself to new opportunities every day.
 Si apre a nuove opportunità ogni giorno.

We are realizing ourselves through hard work.
 Ci realizziamo attraverso il duro lavoro.

Do you ask yourself why this keeps happening?
 Ti chiedi perché questo continua a succedere?

They open themselves to others when they feel safe.
 Si aprono agli altri quando si sentono al sicuro.

You (plural) are realizing yourselves in different ways.
 Vi realizzate in modi diversi.

I open myself to change because it helps me grow.
 Mi apro al cambiamento perché mi aiuta a crescere.

He asks himself if he’s ready for the challenge.
 Si chiede se è pronto per la sfida.

We open ourselves to new experiences during our travels.
 Ci apriamo a nuove esperienze durante i nostri viaggi.

She realizes herself when she helps others.
 Si realizza quando aiuta gli altri.

Reflexive Verbs in Past Tense 

Myra:
So as you might have gathered by now, Reflexive verbs are not the scary monster that you might have thought.  You simply take the verb in its regular form and conjugate it in the tense that you need and add the reflexive pronoun at the beginning.

Before we dive into the formation of reflexive verbs in the past tense, here’s a quick preview of what reflexive verbs look like in the passato prossimo. These sentences may sound a little literal in English, but they’ll help get your ears tuned to how reflexive verbs behave in Italian.

Italian Sentences:

I opened myself = mi sono aperto o aperta

You realized yourself = ti sei realizzato o realizzata

We asked ourselves = ci siamo chiesti o chieste

You (all) sat yourselves = vi siete seduti o sedute

They relaxed themselves = si sono rilassati o rilassate

All right, now let’s take a closer look at how we form reflexive verbs in the past, starting with the passato prossimo.

Steps to Conjugate Reflexive Verbs in Passato Prossimo.

1. Determine the auxiliary (helping) verb.

What were the two things we needed, to conjugate a verb in passato prossimo?

·       The auxiliary (or helping) verb

·       the past participle of the verb, in this case the reflexive verb.

For verbs that are not reflexive, we had to figure out if they take essere or avere as an auxiliary verb. With reflexive verbs there is only one auxiliary, essere. Yay! that makes this easy right?  Just remember the rule. Reflexive verbs take essere in passato prossimo.

And when a verb uses essere as an auxiliary, what do we need to remember? The past participle must … agree in gender and in number with … the subject. You got it. Just like with non reflexive verbs, we need to first conjugate the auxiliary verb in the present tense. 

2. Conjugating the Auxiliary Verb

In case you would like to review conjugation of avere and essere, and how to form past participles, you might want to go back to Bonus Episode 04 Preview – Passato Prossimo: Your Practice Power-Up! 🏋️‍♀️

So, the past participle of realizzare is realizzato.

4. Match the Past Participle to the Subject

Since you’re using essere, the past participle realizzato must agree in gender and number with the subject. We covered how verbs agree in Episode 05: Secrets Revealed – Passato Prossimo Part 2. Applying those rules to the past participle of realizzare, we have:

• Masculine singular: realizzato
• Feminine singular: realizzata

·        Masculine plural: realizzati

• Feminine plural: realizzate

5. Include the Reflexive Pronoun

Reflexive verbs require reflexive pronouns, which correspond to the subject:

Subject                     Reflexive Pronoun

Io                                   mi
Tu                                   ti
Lui/Lei                           si
Noi                                 ci
Voi                                  vi
Loro                               si

6. Put It All Together

Now combine:

• Reflexive pronoun
• Conjugated essere
• Past participle (adjusted for gender/number)

Here’s the full conjugation of realizzarsi in passato prossimo:

 Subject                    Conjugation  

Io                                   mi sono realizzato/a
Tu                                  ti sei realizzato/a
Lui                                 si è realizzato
Lei                                 si è realizzata
Noi                                ci siamo realizzati/e
Voi                                 vi siete realizzati/e
Loro                              si sono realizzati/e

Example Sentences

I fulfilled myself as an artist
 Io mi sono realizzato come artista.

We fulfilled ourselves in our work.
 Ci siamo realizzati nei nostri lavori.

They realized their dreams.
 Loro si sono realizzati nei loro sogni.

Let’s practice this tense with the other two main types of verbs, ere verbs and ire verbs.

Chiedersi

The verb chiedersi comes from chiedere (to ask). Chiedere has an irregular past participle, chiesto.  So to conjugate chiedersi in the passato prossimo:

Io, tu, lui/Lei

Io mi sono chiesto o chiesta.

Tu ti sei chiesto o chiesta.

Lui o lei si è chiesto ochiesta.

Noi, voi, loro

Noi ci siamo chiesti o chieste. 

Voi vi siete chiesti o chieste. 

Loro si sono chiesti o chieste.

And now without the subject pronouns:

First 3

mi sono chiesto o chiesta.

ti sei chiesto o chiesta.

si è chiesto ochiesta.

Last 3

ci siamo chiesti o chieste. 

vi siete chiesti o chieste. 

si sono chiesti o chieste.

Aprirsi

The verb aprirsi comes from the infinitive aprire (to open). Aprire has an irregular past participle, meaning it does not follow the rules and we need to memorize it. The past participle of aprirsi is aperto.

Io, tu, Lui/Lei

Io mi sono aperto o aperta.

Tu ti sei aperto o aperta.

Lui o lei si è aperto o aperta.

Noi, voi, loro

Noi ci siamo aperti o aperte.

Voi vi siete aperti o aperte.

Loro si sono aperti o aperte.

And now without the subject pronouns:

E ora senza i pronomi soggetto:

First 3

mi sono aperto o aperta.

ti sei aperto o aperta.

si è aperto o aperta.

Last 3

ci siamo aperti o aperte.

vi siete aperti o aperte.

si sono aperti o aperte.

Myra:
Now that we’ve dipped our toes into reflexive verbs—it’s time to hear them in context.

In the last episode, you heard this part of the story told entirely in Italian.
 Mariella was relaxing by the fireplace in the residence connected to the library when she heard a knock at the door. That’s where we left off.

Now, we’re going to revisit that same moment—this time, with English first and Italian second. I’ll read each sentence in English, pause briefly so you can think about how you might say it in Italian and then you’ll hear the Italian version.

As you listen this time, see if you can pick out the reflexive verbs. 

Mettiamoci al Lavoro!

Chapter 1 Part 4

She stepped inside, took off her wet jacket, and fixed her hair. 

E’ entrata, si è tolta la giacca bagnata e si è sistemata i capelli. 

“Sit down,” Mariella said, gesturing to the couch. 

“Siediti,” ha detto Mariella, indicando il divano. 

“Do you want tea or wine?”

“Vuoi del tè o del vino?” 

“No, thanks,” Zina replied, unwrapping the package. 

“No, grazie,” ha risposto Zina, aprendo il pacchetto.

“Look at this—it’s addressed to you, but it arrived at my house yesterday.”

 “Guarda questo—è indirizzato a te, ma è arrivato a casa mia ieri.”

Mariella always wondered, why, from time to time, the mail intended for her family would be delivered to the house of the Custodi.

Mariella si chiedeva sempre perché, di tanto in tanto, la posta destinata alla sua famiglia venisse consegnata a casa dei Custodi.

Mariella took the package and opened it carefully. 

Mariella ha preso il pacchetto e lo ha aperto con cura.

Inside, there was a letter from a law office. 

Dentro c’era una lettera di uno studio legale. 

“You are kindly invited to the reading of your grandmother’s will on Friday, October 27, at 4 PM,” she read aloud.

“Lei è gentilmente invitata alla lettura del testamento di sua nonna, venerdì 27 ottobre, alle ore 16,” ha letto ad alta voce.

Mariella looked at Zina, surprised. 

Mariella ha guardato Zina, sorpresa.

“I didn’t even know my grandmother had a will, and weren’t we supposed to go to the concert Friday night?” Mariella asked.

“Non sapevo nemmeno che mia nonna avesse un testamento. E venerdì sera non dovevamo andare al concerto?”

“I’ll take you,” Zina said. 

“Ti accompagno io,” disse Zina. 

“I know where the office is.

“So dov’è l’ufficio.”

Mariella hesitated for a moment, then nodded. 

Mariella ha esitato per un momento, poi ha annuito.

“Thanks, Zina. I don’t want to do this alone.”

“Grazie, Zina. Non voglio andarci da sola.”

Zina moved closer and gave her a warm hug.

Zina si è avvicinata e l’ha abbracciata calorosamente.

“We’re friends, Mariella. I’d be happy to go with you. 

“Siamo amiche, Mariella. Sarò felice di accompagnarti. 

I have an idea. Let’s meet at the train station, in front of the theater near your work, at three o’clock on Friday afternoon.”

Ho un’idea. Vediamoci alla stazione, davanti al teatro vicino al tuo ufficio, venerdì pomeriggio alle tre.”

Outside, the rain beat against the windows, and the wind shook the old trees in the courtyard. 

Fuori, la pioggia batteva contro le finestre e il vento scuoteva i vecchi alberi nel cortile.

Mariella looked down at the letter again and wondered what her grandmother could have left her. 

Mariella ha guardato di nuovo la lettera e si è chiesta cosa potesse averle lasciato sua nonna.

Myra:
That brings us to the end of today’s episode and the end of Chapter One. Well done!
In this episode you’ve taken a big step in understanding reflexive verbs.

And now, before we dive into our next episode—which is an interview with a very talented professor—I have something exciting to share.

Antonio:
Un’intervista con una professoressa? Finalmente qualcuno al mio livello!

Myra:
It’s with Professoressa Daniela Bartalesi-Graf, a beloved teacher and author, and the creator of the popular Italian Language and Culture course on edX.

But before you hear the full conversation, we’ve got a vocabulary episode coming up designed to help you get the most out of the interview.

Antonio:
Oh sì, l’episodio di vocabolario! Lì si studia, si ripete, si brilla!

Myra:
That’s right. You study, you repeat and you will shine! And although our vocabulary episodes are usually reserved for podcast supporters, this one is available to everyone.

Think of it as a preview of what you get in our bonus episodes:
 🎧 mini quizzes,
 🔁 active recall practice,
 📝 and we’ve even got interactive flashcards for some self study activity.

Antonio:
E naturalmente… ci sono anch’io.

Myra:
Yes, you’re there too, Antonio. And you even manage to behave yourself—for the most part.

So if you’d like to feel more confident going into the interview, join us for the vocabulary episode:
 🎤 Bonus Episode 04 – Vocabulary from our Interview with Professoressa Daniela Bartalesi-Graf. You’ll find it right here in your podcast feed.

And if your podcast app doesn’t display the full transcript, don’t worry—you can always find it at welearnitalian.buzzsprout.com.

Antonio:
Siete pronti? Secondo me… vi sorprenderete. E se non siete pronti… fate finta!

Myra:
Thanks for listening, everyone.
See you soon—step by step, piano piano… insieme.