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That Moment with Felice Bakker
That Moment is a podcast dedicated to exploring the raw, real, and transformative moments that define us. Hosted by Felice Bakker, this show dives into unfiltered stories of resilience, courage, and personal growth. Each episode unpacks that moment in someone’s life—the point when everything changes, and a new path emerges. Whether you’re searching for inspiration, connection, or a reminder that you’re not alone, That Moment offers powerful conversations that illuminate the strength and light found in life’s toughest times.
That Moment with Felice Bakker
Finding the Light: Joy's Journey Through Resilience, Self-Discovery, and Transformation
[WARNING: SOUND QUALITY IN SECOND HALF IS POOR]
Joy's story is one of profound resilience and transformation. Imagine balancing a volatile marriage, managing a hotel, and raising twins in France. Joy faced these challenges head-on, and her journey didn't stop there. She later moved to the Netherlands, where the immense pressure of establishing a restaurant led to a breakdown, forcing her to reassess her life. Her experiences remind us of the critical need to listen to our bodies and recognize its signals before it's too late.
Through embracing spirituality and self-care, Joy found a path to a more conscious and fulfilling life. By adopting meditation and prioritizing time for herself, she initiated significant changes that led to a newfound sense of freedom and joy. A symbolic change came when she transitioned from Yolanthe to Joy, embodying the light she sought daily. Her story highlights the power of adaptability and self-discovery, as she reflects on her upbringing in sunny Australia and the contrast of her later life in darker environments, always finding light even in the most challenging times.
In the pursuit of self-love and inner peace, Joy emphasizes the importance of being a source of happiness for oneself. She discusses the journey of nurturing self-love, acknowledging the inner child, and practicing kindness towards oneself. Joy also touches on the significance of being open to spiritual guidance, which often comes during moments of relaxation or meditation. Our conversation wraps up with a heartfelt appreciation for Joy's insights, and we invite you to join our community by subscribing, leaving a review, and sharing this episode. Remember, you have the power to transform your life, just as Joy has.
Welcome to that Moment, the podcast that explores the raw, real and life-changing moments that shape who we are. I'm your host, Felice Bacher, here to bring you unfiltered stories of resilience, courage and transformation. Together, we'll explore the power of that moment when you have no choice but to shift and change the direction of your journey, Whether you're seeking inspiration, connection or just need a reminder that you're not alone, you're in the right place. I'm so glad you're here. Let's begin. Welcome to our very first podcast episode. I'm here with Joy and, just as a brief introduction, Joy, I believe, has, you know, done it all. She's owned a bed and breakfast in France, established and managed restaurants and cafes in the Netherlands, she's recently completed a holistic coaching training, supports travelers on spiritual tours across Europe and desires to open a retreat center in Spain and write her own books, and this is amongst many.
Speaker 1:She has a diverse set of interests. She is such a beautiful, warm individual with a smile and energy that lights up any room, which I hope your listeners can feel as well when she speaks. She's a wonderful and present friend to many, a warm mother to her twin boys who are now, I believe, in their mid-20s, and really her story is a testament to her resilience, her passion and her spirit that she shares with everyone that she encounters. So thank you so much for willing to be my very first guest.
Speaker 2:Thank you, Elise. That was a lovely introduction.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
Speaker 2:Thank you. I'm very honored to be your very first guest and I'm sure you're gonna do a great job thank you.
Speaker 1:Thank you, um, so I like to just dive right in. I think I hope you're comfortable. Um, let's go to do that as well. Um, I talk about life in chapters. Um, this podcast is really about finding lightness in the dark. I think a lot of people go through darkness and it's different for everyone. If you're willing to share what has been, you believe, your darkest chapter so far, yeah, wow, that's really diving in get it rolling straight away.
Speaker 2:Yeah, um, uh, it's hard to say which one was really the darkest chapter. There have been several, yeah, and we were speaking just as introductory the other day and I just said, even in the deepest, deepest dark moments, I, I was always capable to see the light somehow. But maybe that's just thinking back and that's what. Well, let's start about the dark first. Yeah, well, there were two significant chapters. One was in the middle of a very busy, hectic life, when I was living in France and managing a hotel and a two little toddlers, twin boys, running around, and it was a very demanding period and a very, very destructive marriage. So holding up all those balls was really impossible and also just keep on smiling and pretending everything was all right. So that was a very, very dark.
Speaker 2:That was a very dark chapter, and also it was just um, uh, yeah, I think, especially the destructive marriage. At one point we really had to. I had to fear for my own life, put it that way. So that was, yeah, terrifying, terrifying, yeah, yeah. The other significant chapter was many, many years later, when I moved to Holland and I was set up this huge project restaurant. But there was a lot more involved and that was I was just overworked. I went far too hard, wasn't listening to the signs of my body and I just literally fainted at work while I was full. There's all people around and that was just a sign that was just getting too far.
Speaker 2:That was a long period before that, of course, I was just neglecting all the red flags, yeah, all the signs that your body said no more, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So those were the significant dark periods, yeah, and when you think back to those periods I don't need to know more of the situation. But internally, do you remember kind of the beliefs that you had? Do you remember kind of what was going on internally?
Speaker 2:Yeah, what I can remember is that it just all becomes very blurry. What was going on internally? Yeah, what I can remember is that it just all becomes very blurry. So you're not really realizing actually what situation you're in At that moment. I don't think I realized, especially the moment when I was in France. You just don't really realize what's happening, because if you had had, if I'd realized, then maybe I would have, you know, try to stop it before or make changes so that you could get out of it. But didn't really realize how uh deep how deep it was.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, so I haven't. I've never allowed myself to lie in that bed with the pillow on top of me and not get up that day. Somehow I didn't allow myself to do that.
Speaker 1:So I just kept going, and going, and going. And why do you think that is?
Speaker 2:I think it's part of just personality trait, just sort of always persevering and always especially acting with everything. Oh it's all fine and all good, and you know, you dig them down deep down. You know it's not good. Yeah, this is not the right situation, should not be in the situation you're the only one that can change it? Yeah, and maybe that. Maybe you're just waiting for something outside of you to change it, yeah, and you had that as well.
Speaker 1:Or you didn't have that and you just knew internally like there is nobody coming to save me. I need to change this situation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, at one stage you realize especially the second time when I was talking about that time in holland I'd less to lose the first time. You just have a lot to lose and you, just, you just can't say oh to your little toddlers. Oh sorry, yeah, your mama's not here today. Yeah, yeah, come back tomorrow. Kids, yeah, they won't, they won't do that. Yeah, and also the guests in the hotel. I know they're just there and just so. But, yeah, external factors maybe try to change me, but if you're not open for that, yeah, you need to get out of that blur.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yourself and do you think there was a defining moment where you said where you got out of that blur, or where you said enough is enough, or you saw that light?
Speaker 2:Yeah, but that's kind of like, like you said, I don't really want to know the details but yeah, that does happen. All of a sudden something happens and it's like okay, now, now, now, that's enough. Yeah, now I.
Speaker 1:Now yeah, that's enough yeah. Now I have to get out of this, yeah, I see it in a lot of women. It's like this internal lioness that wakes up and she's like and now is enough, yeah, I'm putting myself first, yeah, or I know what I need to do and I'm going to take these steps. I'm no longer being complacent, regardless of the situation yeah yeah, and now I'm taking change, now I'm taking action.
Speaker 2:And yes, yeah, exactly yeah, yeah, exactly, I think there's just yeah, and that moment could have been earlier, it would have been later, but all of a sudden there is a moment. Okay, yeah, okay, I'm gonna, I'm, I am gonna have to change it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. And what? Again, talking about your internal landscape, what were those? Was there anything that you said to yourself or anything that you needed to change internally, that you said like I'm the one responsible, or was there a mantra? Was there anything?
Speaker 2:and I know mantras and blah blah, but was there anything internally where a discussion with yourself or yeah, I think, well, just all the little messages that the universe sends you, like via a book or a podcast, or somebody that says something to you, or um, I, I really believe in little signs, and they can be like from everywhere, that they, they just awaken you every day, through, through the whole day and sometimes, in like, especially in dark periods, you don't see it. Yeah, definitely they and they, oh, you're not seeing it. Oh, I'll throw you another one.
Speaker 1:No, you're still not seeing it. Who's stupid? Here's a large sign.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and I think that's what happens and that's like really, but I can't really recall what. Well, so the second example, when I just really fainted, it's like oh shit, yes, Exquisitement, that's like really okay, how clear is this. And that second time, that's when I really really took distance. So the kids were a lot bigger and the situation was totally different. I had all the space to start looking after myself, which I had neglected over those last years of just working, and it was, in the meantime, really successful and it was also fun. I don't know, I loved it. But there was this downsize. I was just losing, I just lost myself and yeah, so when you just your body, just literally, just you know, makes you faint, that's really when I, yeah, just thought, okay, I'm just going to have to get out of this.
Speaker 2:And that's a period when I really really started to do a lot of inner work. So I went to a silent of inner work, so we went to a silent retreat. That really, literally that same week, and that was very transformative. I think that's really that's something I'll never forget, just like from everything from working so hard to a silence retreat, just like from everything working so hard to a science retreat, just like it's just seeing your whole life, uh, clearly maybe like oh, what's I doing?
Speaker 1:yeah yeah, so what before the retreat versus after the retreat what? What changed? So what? What?
Speaker 2:uh, just the knowing that you'll never go back there. You can't. I think that's with the inner work and with your self-development, you can never go back to what you used to be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and I think just the big contrast of yeah, just from everything to nothing, to really just looking after yourself yeah, is that kind of the big takeaway from that retreat from you know that chapter before to the next chapter was putting you first yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So I, yeah, from the retreat I read a book and then from that book that led to a year program where I met like my yeah, like a spiritual coach and he really helped me through that year. And then we created another year and we met and just met all these beautiful people around me, all very like-minded people, and that really got the energy ball rolling in a different way than just, you know, just being a successful business woman yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah and.
Speaker 2:I've always, always been very interested in spirituality, but when you're so busy, you just don't. You don't think that you have time. Yeah, I love that, saying that, like with the meditation, that you should meditate 20 minutes a day. Unless you're busy, then you should meditate an hour a day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I love that one yeah, and it's so true because but you know, those are things you don't do. When you're busy, you think, oh, you know I've got no time, know, I've got no time for yoga, I've got no time for meditation, yeah, yeah, when I've got little kids running around, no way, and especially then it's really important. I don't know when you should do it, but you just forget and you just get through the day. Yeah, you get through your tiredness and you get through the day and you're just not doing much self-care. Yeah, and what does life look like now? Oh, it's well, like I said, just in its name. It's never gone back. So I've made I did make a lot of changes, yeah, so I changed my work situation and I did this holistic coach practice and I just finished that and chose for freedom really.
Speaker 2:And that's just the biggest joy. Freedom is just amazing and I'm very grateful for that. I feel very privileged too. It wasn't really my plan to already early retire, if I may call it like that. It just happened and you just you know, when you do know what's important for you, you just make choices in that way. Yeah.
Speaker 1:In that direction.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah and yeah. Just don't never go back to that, to that busy life or that unconscious life.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Once you're conscious, you, you stay conscious. Yeah, and that's you know. You stay conscious, you just learn every day. I love reading books. You know Dharma books, like they call it in Buddhism, or beautiful films, or talking to like-minded people. That all just gives you. Yeah, that awakens your soul every day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, more and more. And I want to talk about your name, because what you're describing is finding joy in the everyday. Yeah exactly Right, it's finding light in the everyday.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:You know, watching movies that bring you joy, having conversations that bring you joy. Yeah, and you've changed your name.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:Amongst your friends. I'm not sure if it's officially yeah, but you've changed your name to joy and to me that sounds like such a significant yeah step in your life. You, that was the old you and your name was Yolanta before yeah, yeah, and now you were joy, and now you make yeah you've made joy your priority in life yeah, exactly, yeah, it's, yeah, it's exactly as you say.
Speaker 2:So my old friends, quite a few of them, find it to be weird yeah, you know, they just have to get used to the name and it kind of was um, it came out of a practicality because when travelling and I say my name in a group, they say what, yolanda? What is it? And in all languages it's quite difficult to pronounce, Like in France, where I live. They call me Yolanda. I'm not Yolanda.
Speaker 1:I'm Yolanda.
Speaker 2:And so I start using my name Joy when I introduce myself, because everybody in an instant, they understand it and they remember you and it really gave me joy to pronounce my name and so exactly, I just changed my name and I really appreciated people who call me that way. And, of course, some people still call me Elanta and it's still my official name, but yeah, it gives me joy, yeah.
Speaker 1:And was there a moment where you said you know you were traveling and you were using joy, but then, in your home context, with your old friends, you also said can you now call me joy? Yeah, Was that after something significant? Or was there a moment of meditation or something where you said, well, no, I embody joy now, like that's me everywhere.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, when I meet new people, so I started using my name Joy and then I thought, well, why are there new people? So yeah, there was not really a special moment. I think I just little by little, just telling people and using my name and signing my name.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love it. I think people change and you might grow your name.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's absolutely a lot. Life is about change. Yeah, and that's that's so true.
Speaker 1:Yeah, life is about change. Yeah, yeah. So the chapters of Yolanta have finished. You know they are, yeah, and now you are that you've opened the chapters of joy and yeah, that looks, that looks different yeah, do you feel different? I mean that's such a broad question. Yeah, you've been through so much and now you're really finding the focus in life is joy now yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:It's funny because, yeah, that's, I think we, yeah, we said it in the beginning too that even in the darkest nights, um, I've always kind of kept on seeing the light. Maybe that's just how I was born. I think too, being born in Australia and literally living in the light. I can remember my childhood being so light, literally you know, sunny and light.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I'm just very grateful because I have very loving parents who are very also spiritual interested, which I only realised till much later in life, because when you're a little kid you don't really realise that, but yeah, so a very light childhood, but also lots of changes.
Speaker 2:So moving as a little kid, moving from Australia to Holland, adapting to that's exactly what I can remember. I can remember the first moment it was so dark. We arrived in Rotterdam and on the station it was so dark. I was like, oh yeah, that was the darker period, I suppose my parents getting used to the new life that that, but then I was, you know, nine, so that doesn't really transform you as much.
Speaker 1:I forgot the question, but I was wondering, I think some people and I think you described it already with you. I think you probably have an innate power of finding joy, yeah, but I think you're also. You were given it, you were shown it, maybe yeah through. Yeah, love that you received from your parents, maybe the way that your mom spoke to herself. Your parents spoke amongst each other.
Speaker 2:I think so yeah, I think that's very exactly what you say. I think that's very important. So, yeah, so how you've been brought up and how your parents talk to you, how they, how they stand in life, because I think it's not.
Speaker 1:Everyone is given that gift of being able to always know that there is light after darkness.
Speaker 2:I think, yeah, exactly, and one period, not actually not so long ago, I suppose. We're always going through all the transformation and doing the course that I was doing as a holistic coach, so you really do go deep, deep down. And then, being a mother of twins, I've not had really strong guilt feelings about them having to experience an unsafe young childhood. That's what. That's what it was. Because that's what it was, I said before, we had a destructive marriage and there was aggression and there was shouting, so I felt so bad for them that they had to experience and I just couldn't stop it. And then I suppose I should have stopped it there and then, by leaving, I left several times. I took the little kids under my arms, stepped in the car, drove somewhere I don't know where and booked into a hotel or whatever, just to be safe, just to be safe.
Speaker 2:And that is something I really really feel bad about with the kids.
Speaker 2:But we've spoken that out and I've also read books and listened to podcasts about this subject and also that you know they have their own life, they have their own karma. They have their own life. They have their own karma. They have to seek their own way to deal with this. No, use me feeling bad about it. I mean, I can feel bad about it, but I can't change it. All I can do is love them now and I've always loved them, always tried to protect them but the damage that they have, that's something that they have to deal with. And, like I said, coming myself from a very light childhood and for them to experience their own childhood, that makes me feel sick. But there's something I can do about it now. I love them now and and support them in your life you, you left, you know.
Speaker 1:I think, yeah, there's a lot of strength and resilience in that story too. In the end, you did leave, yeah, you know, and I think it's there's so much, like you said, that they can learn, yeah, from that experience. But well, they do not want to parent in the situations they don't want to be in. But what I hear as well is that I think women, often women, might get trapped in these, yeah, situations, yeah, until it gets so bad, and then some continue to return. Yeah, you did leave in the end.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and it's exactly like you said it's a trap. Yeah, that's a trap thing.
Speaker 1:You do have to feel strong enough to get out of it was there a moment and again I we've kind of spoken about, about it, but that strength in you, was there somebody, it was, maybe something happened. I think that's what you mentioned. But was there somebody that said like get to Holland now. Or your mom that said, you know, your mom said now it's time, or was it you yourself that finally said to yourself, like that has happened, now is time it, or was it just like the continuation of events?
Speaker 2:what? Yeah, I think that it's just continuation of events. It's just not one moment and yeah, and yeah, of course, people around you, they warn you, they try to help you. They, you know, but they're not you, so you're the only one that can change it. Yeah, yeah, that's really hard, yeah, to take that decision. And again, we have so much going for us. There's so much, so many things, many things involved, you think, but there is not a situation where you can't break out of it. Some are easier to break out of than others but it's not a reason for staying.
Speaker 2:I've mentioned it again, but I think that's.
Speaker 1:I've never been in a similar situation. But I only reflect on my life now and the situations that I've been in and you do feel helpless for so long and it is finding that strength in you, like, wow, I'm the one that needs to take control now. I'm the one that needs to change now. I'm the one that needs to change now. I'm the one and you know you can have supportive friends, probably help a supportive family. That all helps, but it does need to come. You have to take that step yeah exactly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're the one that has to feel and recognize when you've really hit the right. Yeah, and you really would be better if you do it before that. But yeah, exactly, you're the only one, yeah, and you're the only one that has to make yourself happy. Yeah, that's the uh, that's the big, big, big, yeah. Discovery, um, yeah, discovery, yeah. So this one silent retreat I was talking about and I've had a few after that for me, that's when magic happens.
Speaker 1:In the silence.
Speaker 2:That's when, in the silent retreats, yeah, so when you really really go deep down. Also, that's yeah's the first time that experience, like you, really touch your inner soul. That is an experience that I've never, ever, ever forgotten, neither. That moment when you really realise that feeling inside, that's what it's all about. Yeah and yeah, keeping on to that feeling of prevailing, yeah, realizing that you are a hero. I spent a while in a Buddhist monastery in Nepal this summer, first in Tibet and then in Nepal. You get so many beautiful life guides and sentences and beautiful talks, and just that one sentence really really stuck with me is you only have one goal in life. This is to make yourself happy. Be happy, it's the only thing. It's not your uh task or to make somebody else happy, only yourself, it's the only task you have to do in life.
Speaker 1:That's beautiful that's so simple and I think it's defining what that means for everyone.
Speaker 2:Not the same things will make other people happy, so it's finding your definition of happiness and it's not related to things outside, not what you do, not your job, not what you own, not who your children are. It's not you, you think it is, but we know not who the children are. It's not you, we think it is, but it's not.
Speaker 1:You spoke to me last week about detachment, yeah, and I think you kind of referenced it here, yeah.
Speaker 2:Can you speak to that a little bit. Oh yeah, detachment is something, yeah, I think, very, very important, and that's also something I've really realised in the last few years too. So detachment of material things is kind of easier to visualise. It doesn't matter really what car you're driving or your house or whatever, that's kind of easy. Or closing where you know that's the attachment of material things. You can kind of understand what that is.
Speaker 2:But the attachment of people, that's something very different and it's not about. It's a big difference between loving somebody and being detached from somebody. Loving somebody is beautiful I've got so many people I love but being detached from the person you love, that's a big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big. So you know, depending on somebody else to make you happy, nope. And wanting to make the other person happy, that was really me too. I always want to make other people happy. So the guests in the hotel or in the business, or your kids or your friends, and especially your spouse or your partner. Make them happy. Nope.
Speaker 1:That's not how it works.
Speaker 2:Make yourself happy, and by doing that, you make the other one happy.
Speaker 1:By living in your light. Being your light, yeah. Being your light in the world, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah and yeah. So I think that that is really attachment and yeah, and the other way around, not not counting on something or somebody outside of you to make you happy. So the tension is, whatever you're doing, material things you have around you or whatever you do, they can't make you happy. They can make you feel good. I love beautiful things, I love beautiful things, I love travelling with other people and, of course, all those things do make you happy if you're happy. So the self-love, the inner love, self-love is the key, I think, to happiness.
Speaker 1:And how have you found? How have you found that or how do you continue to build that within?
Speaker 2:I think, just through all the experiences and meetings that we do, and it's just a constant process, we're forever working on that too and, of course, limited beliefs and voices in your head and you're so strict for yourself. Yeah, just be kind to yourself. Yes, be kind to yourself, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think I've mentioned this before and I'd love to talk to you about the little girl within you. Yeah, as I become older, I become more connected to her.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And you know, when something now happens in my environment and I can feel myself getting upset, I see the little girl within me. Yeah, it's okay, yeah, you're safe. Exactly.
Speaker 2:I love you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you made a mistake and that sucks yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're safe. I love you.
Speaker 1:You made a mistake and that sucks. Like you know. So-and-so happened, so-and-so is angry. It's okay, I love you. I love you and that to me has helped me build kind of my self-love by keeping her safe and seeing her.
Speaker 2:Very important. Is that what you?
Speaker 1:feel.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's very important. Yeah, because that little girl is so innocent and so free of all these negative thoughts and negative beliefs and she's just, yeah, she's just open-minded and so, yeah, she's really, really important to me. I have a little altar in my bedroom and I've got this really cute photo of myself. I printed it out and when I do yeah, you do have you do meditation and you just look at yourself, and I sometimes have to remember that it is me, yeah, and that so I can feel a distance I think, well, that's a cute little photo, it's a cute little girl, but no, it's the same me in the darkness and in the light.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that's so true, you spoke earlier about signs and you mentioned that you know there's signs everywhere, and you kind of I'm summarizing but there's signs everywhere. You just need to be open enough to see them. Yeah, and you know, in the darkness they really, they need to be really obvious yeah, yeah, because you've got your blinders on. Yeah, is that something that you still practice today?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I love it yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love it and I do ask for signs when you have to make a tough decision, and those are the moments that you don't see them. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, those are moments. But yeah, no, I love it when you just you know it's something like no, I love it when you just you know it's something like oh no, we missed it now 11.11. Somehow, I always look for my poem at 11.11. And it's often at a moment that I am thinking of an issue or something, a decision, or that's when I think, oh, they're still there, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I really believe in spirit, guides and angels, and so I do have conversations.
Speaker 1:Is that throughout the day? Is that something on the regular? I know, I'm thinking of tips that we can give to our listeners as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sure, often before I go to bed. So if you're just going to meditation, yeah, you just have a conversation. Um, yeah, and I think, like your spiritual guides can be in everything, they could be a little kid that says something to you, especially on my travels, but that's maybe because I do like to go to kind of spiritual places. So that's when you do get a lot of signs and somebody says something to you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I would imagine that you're more open to it too. I think life gets busy, yeah, and when you're on holiday you're more relaxed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and your energy is different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, and you see, you encounter different scenery in different places. New places, new adventures, yeah yeah, but, yeah, but just like simple things, like you know. Show me a sign and of course, there is a feather somewhere where you're just walking in the city where you don't see many birds. So I like those moments.
Speaker 1:So generally do you ask for a specific one. You say, you know, show me feather.
Speaker 2:If yeah, everything's going to be okay, that's what. Yeah, it's a very cliche one, but it is the easiest one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, when the boys were little too um, joel's the youngest one of the twins he always was picking up feathers, so I find my pockets full of feathers. There's something when I think of that, I always have to think of Joelle too. Yeah, really cute yeah yeah, and stones, and so we. Nature is our biggest gift. Being stuck kind of inside six weeks with my knee replacement oh how I've missed nature.
Speaker 1:Yeah it does something to just.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And somebody said the other day oh, you do look a bit pale. And I said, yeah, yeah, I haven't been out then, but I do go out, because I haven't been out then. But I do go out because I'm lucky where I live, so I do that's a ritual. I do my morning meditation outside with my bare feet in the glass, summer and winter and winters it can be cold in Holland, but just feeling the connection with the glass and the grounders.
Speaker 2:that's how I start my day, so I kept on doing that. So, but yeah, just missing the nature.
Speaker 1:So what are your three big? There's several things that I want to ask you for that you'd like to share with the listeners. But just when we focus on this happiness and these connections with Guy, what are your three big? I think everyone should find their own rituals, but what has been kind of transformative for you in your practice, that you're like those are kind of non-negotiables for you and that's really important for you. That doesn't mean that the listeners have to take that over.
Speaker 2:no, but just, um, I think it's just, uh, showing up, uh, every time and time again, you know when you're a bit very, you know if you're like meditating or doing my thing, but yeah, exactly, then that's when you need it. Just, yeah, show up, um, I think that's. Yeah, I think that's very important. Just just do it, just have this, because it does meditating, which you so much inner peace, and choose where your attention goes. I think it's very important too. So which things which do, which you could do In wintertime in Holland, that's what you do, really. You watch telly, but choose what you watch, choose what comes into you. I mean you can do maybe, other things like reading books or whatever. Choose what you choose what you read, choose what you do, choose some words. Yeah, yeah, it's all about love. Yeah, yeah, but you have to to see it and practice it.
Speaker 1:And anything else that you would like to share with our listeners in terms of any advice, or if somebody is going through their own struggles right now? I mean, you gave two really good key points, but is there anything else that you would say that might help?
Speaker 2:someone. Don't give up. Believe in yourself which is fairly cliche, but that's what it's about. Believe in yourself, believe in yourself, try to love yourself. It's cliché, but I think that's what it's about. Once you realise that you'll all become good and it's not, that side is it's okay, it will pass. Everything passes, everything passes. Everything changes.
Speaker 1:You change, the beliefs change the cooler here and then starts exactly, you know, life doesn't have to change overnight one thing that then changes and then kind of snowballs into something else. But I hear that from what you're saying.
Speaker 2:Just start with something small, start with something small. Yeah, I love setting goals, but they often also get me a bit nervous. Or if I haven't reached the goals, you know, like the goals, like what you know, where do you want to be in a year? And then you read back and then more. But if there's a contradictory in that too, because often I think, oh, wow, yeah, I have, but then like maybe the big issues, but then like, maybe the big issues, you know, they need more time, yeah, maybe you need to be patient. Patience is not my best, was not my best, and I've become a lot more patient, a lot more patient with myself. I wasn't very patient with myself, I just had to do big work, big dream, big work, big, and that's you know that's exactly that.
Speaker 2:So it's small.
Speaker 1:And then we dream big but do small, yeah, small steps. Make your way towards the goals.
Speaker 2:I mean, we say this now, but you know, even just recording this first episode, I have huge dreams, but you do need to take small action yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly, and I think we all want big because we see so much bigness around us and social media, the cars, everything else yeah, it's a fast advanced life we live in and it also also brings you a lot coming with social media. It's fantastic, yeah, it's fantastic. I mean we were talking about that the other day that like the signs. You know, of course, it's algorithm with social media, but I really do believe that you also get signs.
Speaker 1:You get shown the content that you need.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that is of course also algorithm. But yeah, you do get these signs and embrace, change like this chat GPT.
Speaker 1:I love it. I love it.
Speaker 2:I was listening to this podcast from the Deepak Chopra. He's written a book about AI and about how you can integrate that in spirit spirit, actually in spirit activity, because there's so many people that are afraid of it and they think that it's going to take over. It's not going to take over, because we always need us human beings with feelings. It's always going to be there. They can't make love I mean not make love in that sense but they can't produce love, and that's what it's about.
Speaker 2:So they can help us finding it. I love it. You can ask all kinds of things. It can just be a therapist.
Speaker 1:It's just amazing the questions you can ask all kinds of things.
Speaker 2:It can just be a therapist. It's just amazing the questions you can ask and the answers you give. Thank you for the chat, BBT. Yeah, so that's the fun thing so that I think too.
Speaker 2:Just embrace those changes and embrace what it can bring to you. Same with social media, of course. Sometimes I get frustrated with myself because I'm just scrolling and then all these nice clothes come up. I don't want to see any more clothes, I want to see other things. But then you do. You know, you do get other things, you do get feeds, it's just brought us a lot, but also again, you should have to detach from it other things.
Speaker 1:it's just brought us a lot, but also again, you should have to detach from it and I think, as I hear this, I feel like it's our role to be more conscientious. Be conscientious users and especially with social media making more of an effort to say you know, I'll follow these people.
Speaker 1:It's a mindless scrolling, that's not good for us absolutely, and I think the the comparison. I think we need to be really diligent in who we follow. Yeah, like you said before, the kind of you know the movies that we watch, but the people that we follow online, if they make you feel a certain way, yeah, then just unfollow. I think we need to be really strong and strict like you said with who you let in, and that is very much on social media, exactly, exactly yeah, yeah, well, thank you, oh, thank you, I think that's it for our first episode, great.
Speaker 1:We really appreciate you taking the time. Yeah, and I'd love to have you back on the show another time, fantastic.
Speaker 2:Well, good luck to you. Thank you.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
Speaker 1:Thank you for joining us today. If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review and share it with someone who would benefit from listening. You can also follow along on my Instagram at felicebacher. Until next time, and remember you hold the power to no-transcript. No-transcript. I was very excited to see the results of the test. I was very excited to see the results of the test. I was very excited to see the results of the test. I was very excited to see the results of the test. I was very excited to see the results of the test. I was very excited to see the results of the test. I was very excited to see the results of the test. I