6. Lets Talk About: Golriz Ghahraman

In this episode of Piecing Together Unity, Nigel McFall explores the complex story of MP Golriz Ghahraman, her struggles with mental health, and the deeply human challenges of self-sabotage. Drawing from Golriz’s public reflections on a moment of self-conflict and shame, Nigel dives into the psychological and societal factors that often underlie such behaviors, including the impact of trauma and the stigma surrounding mental health—especially for public figures.

This thoughtful discussion highlights Golriz’s resilience and achievements as New Zealand’s first refugee Member of Parliament, while also emphasizing the importance of understanding, empathy, and creating safe spaces for open conversations about mental health.

Join Nigel as he unpacks this deeply important topic and explores how we, as a society, can foster compassion, reduce stigma, and support one another in our shared humanity.

Tune in to Piecing Together Unity and be part of the conversation—because together, we will piece it all together.

Show Notes for Lets Talk About: Golriz Ghahraman

Resources Mentioned:

• Golriz Ghahraman on Shoplifting Scandal:
  Watch her candid interview discussing recent controversies and addressing public concerns.
  Watch the full interview on YouTube
• Golriz Ghahraman Maiden Speech:
  Experience the heartfelt maiden speech that introduced Golriz Ghahraman’s vision for Aotearoa.
  Watch it on Facebook

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Together, we’ll piece it all together — one idea, one story, and one conversation at a time.

Transcript

Podcast Episode Script: Let’s Talk About                                        

Introduction

Nigel:
Kia ora, hello, and welcome to Piecing Together Unity. I'm Nigel McFall, the founder of the Unity Party, and I’m grateful to have you with me today for another conversation. This episode is part of my Let’s Talk About series, and it’s called Let’s Talk About Golriz Ghahraman.

Before we dive into the main topic, I want to share something personal with you. There was a time in my life when I struggled with undiagnosed ADHD and poor mental health. During those years, intrusive thoughts and overwhelming ideas often led me to act in ways that didn’t represent my values or the person I wanted to be. Looking back, I can see how those struggles clouded my judgment and pushed me to behaviors I deeply regret.

This is why Golriz’s story resonates so deeply with me. I understand, on a personal level, how mental health challenges can lead to actions that feel confusing or even contradictory to who you truly are. My hope for this episode is to bring compassion, understanding, and education to the conversation, not just about Golriz’s experience, but about mental health in general.

We’re diving into a topic that’s both challenging and deeply important: the reasons behind self-sabotage and the mental health struggles that often lead to actions we don’t understand. Today, we’re exploring the story of MP Golriz Ghahraman, her experience with shoplifting, and the broader psychological and societal context behind such behaviors. This isn’t about judgment—it’s about understanding and empathy."

Part 1: What Happened?

Host:
"Let’s start with the incident itself. Earlier this year, Golriz was caught shoplifting—a moment that shocked the public. In an interview with John Campbell, she openly asked the question many people were already thinking: ‘What the hell was I doing?’

Golriz went on to describe the experience as deeply shameful. She said, and I quote, ‘It wasn’t to get a little bit of joy because there was no joy... it just felt like shame the whole time.’ Her words reveal that this wasn’t a calculated action or a thrill-seeking moment. Instead, it was a moment of profound internal conflict and pain.

She admitted, ‘It was something tangible that I could point to, to go, there’s something wrong with you.’ This is a powerful insight into the role self-sabotage plays for many who struggle with mental health challenges."

Part 2: The Psychological Context of Self-Sabotage

Host:
"So, why do people engage in self-sabotage? It’s a question many of us have asked, either about ourselves or others. Golriz’s story gives us a window into the psychological mechanisms behind it.

She explained that her actions were part of a spiral: ‘You’re not good enough. There is something wrong with you. Why aren’t you strong enough?’ This internal dialogue is a hallmark of self-sabotaging behavior. It’s not about rational decisions or seeking joy. Often, it’s about punishing oneself for perceived inadequacies.

Research shows that self-sabotage is closely linked to shame, guilt, and feelings of unworthiness. It’s a way of externalizing internal pain. For some, it’s about validating their worst fears about themselves. For others, it’s a cry for help—a way to signal that something is deeply wrong."

Part 3: The Impact of Trauma

Host:
"Golriz also spoke about the roots of her pain. She’s been diagnosed with extremely severe post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD. In her words: ‘There’s two places that that comes from. One for me is the violence of my early childhood in Iran, and then the other bit is politics.’

Golriz’s childhood in Iran exposed her to violence and fear. And her career in politics brought new layers of trauma. She shared how the threats of physical violence and rape she received as a public figure were relentless: ‘It just keeps coming and it keeps coming, and it’s violent.’

Trauma like this doesn’t just go away. It rewires the brain, making it harder to regulate emotions or make decisions. This is why PTSD often manifests in ways that seem irrational to others—like self-sabotage or harmful behaviors."

Part 4: Golriz’s Achievements and Resilience

Host:
"Before we move forward, let’s take a moment to acknowledge Golriz’s remarkable achievements and resilience. Despite her struggles, she has built an impressive career as a lawyer, an advocate, and a Member of Parliament.

Golriz was the first refugee elected to New Zealand’s Parliament, a milestone that reflects her courage and determination. She has used her platform to champion human rights, environmental protections, and justice reforms. Her work has earned her recognition both nationally and internationally as a voice for the marginalized.

It’s important to remember that even as she faced immense personal challenges, she was contributing positively to society. Her story reminds us that no one is defined solely by their mistakes or struggles. Instead, it’s the totality of their journey—including the triumphs, the setbacks, and the growth—that tells the full story."

Part 5: The Stigma of Mental Health in Public Life

Host:
"Another layer to this story is the stigma around mental health—particularly for public figures. Golriz shared the pressure she felt to always appear strong: ‘You’re constantly told to be strong, turn up, be strong, feeling not strong.’

This pressure can make it incredibly difficult to acknowledge when you need help. And for someone in the public eye, there’s the added fear of judgment from the media and the public. She admitted, ‘If there’s something wrong with you, get help or quit… which is what I should have done.’

But let’s pause and reflect: How often do we, as a society, create spaces where people feel safe to seek help? How often do we choose compassion over condemnation? Golriz’s story is a reminder that mental health struggles don’t discriminate. They can affect anyone, regardless of their position or accomplishments."

Part 6: What Can We Learn?

Host:
"So, what can we take away from this? First, it’s important to recognize that self-sabotage is not a sign of weakness or moral failure. It’s a sign of someone who is struggling deeply. As Golriz herself said: ‘It’s sabotage that hurt others, and that is my great regret.’

Second, we need to shift the way we think about mental health. Instead of asking, ‘Why would someone do that?’ let’s ask, ‘What are they going through?’ This small change in perspective can open the door to empathy and understanding.

And finally, let’s acknowledge the role we all play in supporting mental health. Whether it’s creating safe spaces for open conversations, advocating for better mental health resources, or simply choosing kindness in our interactions, we all have the power to make a difference. Social media often amplifies negativity, but it also gives us an opportunity to spread kindness and compassion. Before reacting to posts about people’s struggles, take a moment to consider the person behind the story. Choose empathy over harshness—a thoughtful comment or even refraining from judgment can make all the difference for someone who may already be facing immense challenges."

Conclusion: A Call for Understanding

Host:
"Golriz’s story is a powerful reminder of the complexity of human behavior. It’s easy to judge from the outside, but when we take the time to look deeper, we often find pain, trauma, and a longing for help.

My hope is that this episode encourages all of us to approach these stories with more compassion and curiosity. Together, we can build a society where mental health struggles are met with understanding, not stigma.

Thank you for listening, and remember: Together, we will piece it all together—one idea, one story, and one conversation at a time."