Good Neighbor Podcast: Colorado Springs
Bringing together local businesses and neighbors of Colorado Springs. Good Neighbor Podcast hosted by Tony Hills helps residents discover and connect with your local business owners in and around Colorado Springs, Colorado.
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Good Neighbor Podcast: Colorado Springs
EP #85: Healing Through Connection: A Therapist's Perspective with Kara Zimmerman
What makes Kara Zimmerman with Kara Zimmerman, Psychotherapist a good neighbor?
Loneliness has become a silent epidemic, often hiding in plain sight within our communities. Psychotherapist Kara Zimmerman pulls back the curtain on this crisis, sharing profound insights from her 28 years as a licensed marriage and family therapist. What she reveals is both heartbreaking and hopeful: many of her clients—smart, kind people with tremendous value—feel completely unseen and unknown outside her office.
"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable," Zimmerman quotes, highlighting the transformative power of genuine listening. She challenges us to put down our phones, ask better questions, and create spaces where people can tell their stories. Through her own experience relocating to Colorado Springs and feeling profoundly isolated, Zimmerman demonstrates how intentional neighbor connections changed everything—from organizing potlucks to celebrating food holidays and hosting driveway gatherings during COVID.
The science backs her approach: research shows knowing just six neighbors is linked to lower rates of depression and social anxiety. Zimmerman offers practical wisdom for fostering these connections—walk your neighborhood, show interest in others, sit in your front yard instead of the backyard, and most importantly, "go first" in reaching out. Her message transcends therapy itself, reminding us that while counseling provides essential support, our daily interactions and neighborhood connections might be the most powerful medicine for our collective mental health. Ready to transform your community? Start by being curious, not judgmental, and remember that authentic connection often begins right next door.
To learn more about Kara Zimmerman, Psychotherapist go to:
https://www.karalzimmerman.com/
Kara Zimmerman, Psychotherapist
630-306-2319
This is the Good Neighbor Podcast, the place where local businesses and neighbors come together. Here's your host, Tony Hills.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the Good Neighbor Podcast. Are you looking for a professional counselor or marriage and family therapist? One might be closer than you think. Today I have the pleasure of introducing our good neighbor, kara Zimmerman. Psychotherapist Kara, how's it going?
Speaker 3:It's going really well. Thank you so much. How are you?
Speaker 2:Awesome, we're excited to have you on the show, so tell us about your business.
Speaker 3:Thank you. I'm a therapist. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist and a licensed professional counselor. I have my own solo counseling practice near downtown in the Old North End area. I've been a therapist for about 28 years, first in Illinois and then for the last 10 years here in the Springs. I am honored to get to walk alongside people in their journeys through grief and loss, life transitions and stresses, spiritual issues, relationship issues, abuse, depression and anxiety those types of things.
Speaker 2:Okay, awesome. How did you get into this business?
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, growing up, I was always really curious about relationships. Okay, some people might say that I was nosy about relationships. I was always wondering about couples and marriages and families and friendships, why they got along, why didn't they get along, what their stories were. And so when I was in college, as an undergrad, I chose to study sociology looking at people in their context of family or relationships, gender, culture, history, religion, that type of thing. And then I learned that there was a field called marriage and family therapy and I chose to get my master's degree in that specialization. I chose to get my master's degree in that specialization because it also looks at people within their context and in their systems. It's not just looking at individuals and problems inside of them. So I like that. I found that hopeful and fascinating, okay that's awesome.
Speaker 2:What are some myths or misconceptions in your industry?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I wish people could see seeking counseling or needing counseling as a sign of strength instead of a sign of weakness. I think the negative stigma of counseling is lessening, which is good. Also, counseling isn't for people who are crazy. It's for anyone who would benefit from extra support or an outsider who is objective to help them through something that they're struggling with or stuck in. I have many clients who I've been seeing for a long time. We work through something, they keep growing and then, when the next something comes up, they have the tools and they have me as a resource to help them.
Speaker 3:It's the honor of my life to have meaningful relationships with my clients, to bring out their strengths, to encourage and challenge them and to get to be with them in the sorrows and joys of life. I'm very concerned, though, about the increased loneliness and isolation, depression and lack of connection that I see in our community and in our country. It feels like sometimes I'm the main person that some of my clients talk to, who they share their life and struggles with or even they see on a regular basis. My clients are amazing, smart, kind people with a lot to offer, but some of them that I've met with for over the years, they feel like nobody cares about them. Many, many people, even high functioning people, feel alone, unseen and unknown. I feel like there's a really serious lack of belonging and I think this is worse, not better. Serious lack of belonging, and I think this is worse, not better. I'm starting to constantly. I try to constantly speak and call out my client's strengths. I'm often encouraging them to ask someone to coffee or to share a little bit more of what is going on in them, in their lives. I'm often I'm sorry, I'm often encouraging them to open up and share a little bit more about what's going on with them, in their lives, with somebody else besides me. A repeated refrain I hear is that people feel like they're the only ones that try to reach out or ever initiate and eventually they just give up, and that makes me really sad and that makes me really sad. I do hope that my genuine interest in them, my curiosity, my listening, my care, my encouragement, speaking their strengths and celebrating their progress helps them to realize how much they matter and that others will appreciate and enjoy them too. One of my favorite quotes is by somebody named David Augsburger. Um, one of my favorite quotes is by somebody named david augsburger and it says being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable.
Speaker 3:So I long for people to ask more questions of each other and then to put their phones down and be present to really listen to what people are saying, what the answers are to the questions. I long for people to tell their stories. I have a sign on my wall in my office that says your story matters, tell it. That says your story matters, tell it. I long for people to be curious and not judgmental, which is from the fabulous TV show and the famous dart scene from Ted Lasso. I think it's also originally from Walt Whitman. But be curious and not judgmental. I long for people to listen without planning what they are going to say, just listen to what the other person is saying. I long for people to listen, to really try to understand and I long for people to take the time to notice others, to smile, to do small acts of kindness to others and to show people that they actually really matter.
Speaker 2:Okay, who are your target customers and how do you attract them?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I have a Psychology Today profile. I have a website, I have a Facebook page for my business, but, frankly, I hardly ever have openings for new clients. People tend to stick with me for a long time and often refer their coworkers and their friends to me. I even had the honor a couple of years ago of a couple of my clients asking me to lead a grief therapy group for them and their friends, who were all grieving the loss of their parents. I am so touched and honored by the trust my clients have in me.
Speaker 2:Okay, awesome Outside of work. What do you do for fun?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I have a bumper sticker magnet on my car which I think sums this up pretty well. It says love people, cook them tasty food. I love to bake and cook for people. I love to celebrate people and important events, especially with food. One of my favorite things is taking cooking classes at the French kitchen here in town. I love learning new recipes, making and eating really good food with good chefs and with fun people who share the same passion that I do. I also enjoy some Zumba gold classes with some wonderful ladies at the Y. I'm also a crazy cat lady.
Speaker 2:OK, awesome, let's switch gears. Can you describe a hardship or life challenge that you overcame, how it made you stronger and what comes to mind?
Speaker 3:Yes, sure, I grew up in Illinois. I lived my whole life there. All my school was there. Growing up college, I met my husband there. I got married there. I went to grad school there, I started my career there. That's where my family was, that's where my friends were, and my whole life was there.
Speaker 3:Then, about 10 years ago, my husband was asked to interview for a couple of jobs here in the Springs and I really struggled when I flew out to meet him for his interview. I'll never forget crying on the plane, imagining the huge changes I might have to make. There was this lovely couple on the plane and they noticed that I was crying and they were. They asked me if I wanted to move and switch seats with them so I could sit by the window and I could see the mountains as we flew in. And they told me not to worry, that all I needed to do was go to the Broadmoor and get a cocktail and everything would be fine and I would fall in love with Colorado Springs.
Speaker 3:We ended up making the huge decision to move here and I left everything I knew and was comfortable with. And though I knew it was right for us, I left everything I knew and was comfortable with, and though I knew it was right for us, I really did have a hard time with it. In my line of work we call that an adjustment disorder. I had a lot of trouble adjusting. People didn't understand why it was so hard for me when it's so beautiful here. But I moved here with no friends, no clients and nothing really to do. I felt alone. I felt like nobody knew me or cared about me and I felt lost and my neighborhood didn't feel friendly. Our next-door neighbor at the time would go outside sit on his porch. If I was outside and I would wave and say hi, he would immediately go back inside, which felt terrible. He would immediately go back inside, which felt terrible. I eventually decided to take it into my own hands. I planned a neighborhood potluck. My husband and I dropped off flyers at the doors of our houses, like all around us, and it was surprisingly a huge success. I did not know what to expect. I was really anxious, but it went so well.
Speaker 3:I told you about my love of baking and cooking for people, and so I started celebrating national food holidays. I would start by bringing neighbors chocolate chip cookies. On National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day, I started bringing roses and treats to neighbors on Valentine's Day, especially to people who are widowed or divorced or single. And then during COVID, my husband and I started doing driveway parties. We'd set up a table or two in our driveway, invite people to come by, enjoy some food and some time together. I really do believe that food can bring people together. So sometimes now we do hot chocolate. On New Year's Eve we did a Chicago hot dog party, ice cream parties it really doesn't matter what type of food or what kind of thing, but we just invited people outside to come on over and have a chance to talk with each other. And then last fall we did a 10 years in Colorado Springs party and got to celebrate with all the neighbors and friends who've made our lives better since moving here.
Speaker 3:This was something I could do for the people immediately around me in my neighborhood and I wish I could do for my clients, but because of professional boundaries I can't do that. I do not want my neighbors to feel like they don't that. I do not want my neighbors to feel like they don't matter. I do not want my neighbors or anybody to feel like nobody knows them or cares about them.
Speaker 3:Over time we've seen really cool things happen in our neighborhood. We've seen kids become friends, we've seen neighbors start taking walks, we've had people share ideas like how to fix your roof or what surgeon they like, or how can I borrow your lawnmower, or those types of things, people asking for help or sharing celebrations, and this has been so meaningful and encouraging to me. But I'm not special. I know of other neighborhoods who do similar things. They have monthly dinners or soups or like a soup dinner I've heard about recently, or block parties. I'm also really proud of our city. Last fall they did a thousand neighborhood gatherings. It was an initiative. They had to encourage just this sort of thing with the goal of improving mental health and connection and decreasing loneliness.
Speaker 2:Okay, what do you hope would change in our community as a result of what you see in your counseling office?
Speaker 3:I really hope people will try harder in their neighborhood and be intentional. I encourage people to walk around the block. Show interest in people's pets, their kids, their yards. Maybe get a little fire pit and sit in your front yard instead of the backyard. Notice things. Does someone look like they're going to have a new baby? Offer to bring them a meal. Are you seeing somebody less often? Check in, ask small questions, get to know your neighbor's names. A next-door study during COVID found that knowing as few as six neighbors is linked to lower depression and social anxiety.
Speaker 3:I wish that everybody would read the book called how to Know a Person by David Brooks. He talks about how he has come to believe that the quality of our lives and the health of our society largely depends on how well we treat each other in the minute interactions of our daily lives. I really believe this is true. He says the foundational skill we all need is the ability to understand what somebody is going through, and I think wanting to understand and to really see someone and make them feel seen and valued is something so, so important that I wish we would all work on, even with, and maybe even especially with, people we might disagree with. I believe we all crave authentic connection. An author named Jenny Allen wrote a book called Find your People, and she has a quote in it that says we were made for deep connection. That is a part of our everyday lives, not just once in a while while in the company of a paid therapist Ouch, there is true value in therapy, but there's a deep value in authentic connection, and that can start in our neighborhoods or wherever we spend a lot of time.
Speaker 3:I want to encourage people to go first, to put yourself out there and keep trying. It'll likely be worth it. I want to encourage people to learn good, open-ended questions questions. We often stay at the small talk level or resort to gossip or complaining, partly because we don't know how to ask good questions or how to share our hearts one step at a time. So get some questions, have them in your back pocket ahead of time and then, wherever you go, take a second and look people in the eye. Remember there are people who might be having a bad day too. I Remember there are people who might be having a bad day too. You could make someone's day by taking an extra second to notice something about them, to show a little care, to learn something about them, even though I'm an introvert I feel like I have little connections all over the city because I want to show people they matter and are appreciated, and I think everybody can do that are and are appreciated, and I think everybody can do that.
Speaker 2:Okay, kara, please tell us one thing.
Speaker 3:They should remember about Kara Zimmerman, psychotherapist. Yeah, I mean, I think everyone can benefit from counseling. I think probably everyone would love it. There's a ton of therapists here in the Springs. Many take insurance and psychology. Today, Psychologytodaycom is a great resource. So keep trying until you get the right fit. And therapists are great. But life can also change when you open up, look up, take a risk and be curious, not judgmental.
Speaker 2:You mentioned earlier that you had a website. How can our listeners learn more about Kara Zimmerman Sure?
Speaker 3:sure. Thank you, my website is just my name wwwkarazimmermancom.
Speaker 2:Okay, awesome. Well, Kara, I really appreciate you being on the show. We wish you and your business much success moving forward.
Speaker 3:Thank you so much and thank you for doing this for our community.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to the Good Neighbor podcast. To nominate your favorite local businesses to be featured on the show, go to GNPColoradoSpringscom. That's GNPColoradoSpringscom, or call 719-679-4720.