The Sonder Effect
The Sonder Effect
Every person you pass has a life as vivid and complex as your own.
The Sonder Effect dives deep into the human experience, exploring the untold stories, emotions, and connections that make us who we are. Through raw conversations, reflective insights, and thought-provoking narratives, this podcast uncovers the beauty and complexity of ordinary lives—revealing the universal struggles, triumphs, and moments of clarity we all share. Whether it's navigating relationships, mental health, identity, or personal growth, The Sonder Effect invites you to pause, listen, and truly see the world through someone else's eyes.
Because every story matters.
The Sonder Effect
Understanding Retroactive Jealousy: When the Past Feels Like a Threat
Have you ever stumbled across an old photo of your partner with their ex and felt a sudden pang of jealousy you couldn’t quite explain? You’re not alone.
In this episode of The Sonder Effect, Mariam and Alexa dive into the quiet but intense emotional experience known as retroactive jealousy—the obsession or discomfort over your partner’s past relationships that can creep into even the most loving connections.
They explore why retroactive jealousy happens, how it differs from everyday jealousy, and what it can reveal about our own fears of inadequacy, abandonment, and comparison. With thoughtful insight, clinical context, and a few nods to Esther Perel’s reflections on love and captivity, the episode uncovers how retroactive jealousy often stems from unresolved wounds, attachment insecurities, and the pressure of unrealistic romantic ideals shaped by pop culture and social media.
Mariam and Alexa explore how to move through retroactive jealousy with practical tools like grounding exercises, shifting thought patterns, honest dialogue, and therapeutic support when necessary. This episode serves as both a reflection and roadmap for anyone caught in cycles of comparison, insecurity, or lingering shame. Because although the past may shape us, it doesn’t have to write our story.