The Sonder Effect

How to Feel Your Feelings (Even When You’d Rather Not)

Alexa Montemayor and Mariam Ayvazyan Season 1 Episode 8

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In this episode of The Sonder Effect, Mariam and Alexa explore a common yet often overlooked pattern in therapy and everyday life: intellectualizing our emotions instead of feeling them. From clients who can name every reason for their pain without ever accessing it, to therapists who inadvertently stay in the safety of cognitive space, they unpack how and why this disconnection happens, and what we can do to come back to ourselves.

They discuss signs of emotional avoidance, the childhood roots of shutting down feelings, and the physical toll of suppressing emotions. Drawing on Internal Family Systems (IFS) and somatic therapy, Alexa and Mariam offer gentle and accessible tools for reconnecting with your emotional self, free from judgment and overwhelm.

Whether you’re a therapist, a client, or just someone trying to feel more human, this episode is an invitation to slow down, notice what’s real, and make space for the emotions that deserve to be felt.