Episode 11: Born with Rare Genetic Eye Condition, Seeing Strength Beyond Sight with Mark Rivera

Born with a rare genetic eye condition that left him without vision in his left eye, Mark Rivera spent much of his life learning how to navigate a world that often made him feel different. But his greatest challenges were still ahead.

After losing both his stepfather and mother within just 30 days, Mark found himself drowning in grief while facing a life-threatening health crisis of his own. At over 325 pounds and suffering from severe sleep apnea, doctors warned him that if he didn't make drastic changes, he might not survive another six months.

In this powerful episode of The Resilience Files: Unlocked, Mark shares how he transformed unimaginable loss into purpose, lost over 175 pounds, reclaimed his health, and created a mission dedicated to helping others find hope in their darkest moments.

This is a conversation about resilience, identity, grief, healing, and discovering that your greatest struggles do not have to define your future.

Because sometimes the strongest vision comes from looking within

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

When you feel like life has dealt you a hand of unfair cards, instead of voting, you double down and you're stuck in the game. You faced battles, you felt broken. But hey, do us a favor. Put your hand on your heart. You feel that? You're still here. Welcome to the Resilience Files Unlock. Where survival meets transformation. Welcome to the Resilience Styles Unlocked, where survival meets transformation. I'm your host, Carrie Bernan's Aspirus Stunt Woman, and this space was created for honest conversations about survival, reinvention, healing, and the quiet strength it takes to keep going when life doesn't always look like the way you imagined it. Now, we're not therapists. We don't have a degree for this, but we do have our own lived experiences. I survived a lot. We could talk about that later, but we have a special guest for us today. And I'm so excited to introduce this lovely person. Our special guest is someone who's learned resilience before he had language for it, born with a rare genetic eye condition, shaped by early responsibility, profound loss, and life-altering health crisis. Mark Riviera's story is not about fixing yourself, but it's about staying soft in a hard world and becoming the person you once needed. This conversation is about seeing beyond sight, surviving unimaginable loss, and choosing purpose anyway. As we do it here on the Resilience Files podcast, I'm going to go ahead and read Mark's essay. To fully understand my story, I must start from the beginning. As far back as I can remember, I've suffered from a rare genetic eye condition called Coates disease, which has an array of symptoms. In my case, however, the retina is detached from the left eye, which makes it seem like the eye isn't even there. Unlike blindness, where it's complete darkness, I have no darkness, no signal, no anything. It's as if the left eye isn't even there. Growing up, this made navigating and seeing extremely difficult, as all the emphasis went into protecting my right eye. I had countless doctor visits, tons of eye drops, and procedures, but it all came with the same result. Unfortunately, I would live life like this for the rest of my life. I constantly would bump into things and it made my life incredibly difficult. On top of that, my left eye was floating and uncontrollable. This made things even more difficult because it made me feel like I wasn't complete and often felt like I wouldn't be enough. I vowed, however, that this was not going to be the story that dictates nor allow anyone to perceive me as such. So I worked tirelessly in heightening my other senses, my hearing, my ability to feel within prop my proximity, ability to envision things happening before they occur, my sense of smell and touch. I also trained myself to learn how to avoid bumping into things and always keeping my head on the swivel. It has helped me tremendously. I became very resilient despite my condition and vowed to never let my impairment harden me in an already cruel cold world. My biological father wasn't in the picture, and from his side, I'm the oldest of three. The problem was that he got my mom pregnant with me and then got his girlfriend at the time pregnant right around the same time. And because of that, I have a half-brother who is only a couple weeks younger than me. When my mom found out, she immediately stopped seeing him and took me to live with my grandma. As I grew older, I also developed a natural being of being a provider, caregiver, protector, and having a heart of gold, which I take pride in. Since the young age of seven years old, I've been raising kids. I'm the oldest of five on my mom's side. And since then, I often would take care of and help raise my younger siblings. By that age, I already knew how to cook, clean, and handle every household chore. As I got older, however, I became a teenage rebel. I was mad at the world and often butted heads with my mother. We were practically the same person. She was intense, relentless, unmatched work ethic, and the refusal to give up, especially when things became became unimaginably difficult. At this time, she started seeing my stepdad, who was kind-hearted, soft-spoken soul, but was also a second-degree black belt martial arts expert, Shotokan Karate. He trained me as a kid and often he would speak and gained so much knowledge and insights from him. My mom, while with my stepdad, forged my heart. In 2020, a tragedy would strike me and began a series of traumatic experiences. Growing up, I always struggled with my weight. And by this time, I had ballooned up to a massive 325 pounds. It was very hard for me because no matter how long I slept, I would always wake up tired and exhausted. Driving, I would doze off, and I don't know how many close calls I had. Climbing one flight of stairs, I would be out of breath, and dozing and being out of breath would also happen when I had conversations with people too. I knew something was wrong. During the height of COVID, Thanksgiving week, my stepdad passed away due to cancer, and it shattered me in the worst way. During that, driving my dozing off got worse, more than a few close calls. And that's when I knew I had to get checked. But a month later, my mom gets hospitalized and a few weeks later passed away this Miss Week from COVID pneumonia. It wrecked me completely and haven't been and I haven't been the same since. I lost both of my parents in a span of 30 days. And this day it still has me in tears. A few months have gone by and I finally got checked and decided to do a sleep study. I did the take-home test and a few days later I got the results. I have a severe I have a severe blockage, sleep apnea. My organs were beginning to fail, and my C O T levels were in the 50s, which means I essentially stopped breathing multiple times as I slept. What wasn't in the report was that they told me because of my severity of the results, if I didn't change and take my diet seriously, then I wouldn't live past six months. If I ever needed a wake-up call, that was it. And for two years, I gave myself permission to be selfish. I started doing DDPY program, which is dynamic resistance yoga. In the span of three years, I went from 325 pounds to 150 pounds. I did another sleep study since I hated the CPAP machine and didn't qualify for the two straight years in a row. I now have a perfect bill of health. That's when I decided that I needed to tell my story for the past 14 months. I've been posting motivational and inspirational videos, hoping that my message gets across and hopes that it will help people. My story can be one thing that pulls you away from the edge and out of the darkness. Then everything I speak of is worth it. I'm also an actor and a personal life coach because if this broken kid from Brooklyn, New York can claw from the ashes and rise from rock bottom, then you can too. I won't try to fix you because you can't fix people, but I will sit with you. Hold your hand and let you lean on my shoulder and let you just let it all out and remind you that things will get better and that the times, the bad times, don't last forever. Be who you need to be. Be who you needed when you were younger. And when you get there, never forget the ones still walking through that fire. You survived. Thank you. Mark Riviera. Wow, Mark. Yeah. Woo! What an episode. First off, um, I just want to just ask you how are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 7:13

I'm doing really well. You know, I typically do my annual physicals about June, July, and for two years in a row, perfect bill of health. You know, and when I went the first time to get checked with this new pediatrician uh pediatrician, look at me, with this new uh primary care physician, she told me you need to get a handle on it. You know, so I heard it from all over the place, you know, and and and as I said, I always struggled with the weight, but it just I was always up, I was always down. I could never keep it steady, you know. And so once I found this program, I knew this was it because he's helped so many others before. You know, he actually took a military vet, a paratrooper. It's when they jump off the airplanes and parachute. That landing impact, it crushed his spine, his knees. He essentially needed those braces, he needed the crutches. Doctors told him he would never walk on his own power again. He went and did this program, and this guy is running now. He is doing handstands, he's doing splits. I said, Yeah, I want to do that. So, you know, and it's funny because DDP, he used to be a former professional wrestler. You know, his his ring name was Diamond Dallas Page. And so during his career, he blew out his back too. And his wife at the time suggested, hey, why don't you try yoga? Of course, being your typical macho man, I'm not gonna do yoga, but the pain just progressively got worse. So he was like, hey, what do I got to lose? So he tried it, and sure enough, he started doing it, but he also started incorporating his own, you know, maneuvers in there, you know, kind of like making it your own. And that's what he emphasizes. Even if it's tough, you know, use a chair, use a table, because you're gonna be in all these different uncomfortable positions. But the one thing that he stresses more than anything else, just make sure that you breathe. Because you need to control your breath. Because once you're able to control your breathing, especially in an uncomfortable position, you're you're you're in the in the shape of your life at that point, you know. And so he actually went back into the ring and won some championships. You know, he's retired now because I think he's like in his 60s. Yeah, but this is all he does now. This is his platform, this is his business, and he's helped thousands of people, even other wrestlers, you know.

SPEAKER_01 9:32

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 9:32

Yes, and I swear by that program, and it's been it is is essentially it has saved my life.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

Wow. Yeah, that's that's amazing. I want to know and tell everyone the name of the city.

SPEAKER_02 9:44

It's called DDPY, and you can find it ddpy.com. When he first started the platform, he started with the discs. Now they have an app. You know, I got his yoga mat because of course you get the cheap ones from Amazon, they're gonna last what? Maybe a couple months, you know. And and I'm and I'm all I'm doing all different kinds of poses and maneuvers. One thing that I really took pride in was able to do the safety zone. That's like getting in the fetal position upright. My head can touch the mat and I can stretch all the way out. Yeah, it's it's insane. Yeah, yeah. I I never, never in my um wildest dreams would I ever, you know, think I'd be able to do something like that. I love that very and then when I took all the weight off and I saw abs, I'm like, oh no. Um hello? Well, um who are you, you know?

SPEAKER_01 10:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:36

Yeah, yeah. My biological father, like that side of the family, they're all big guys. You know, I would be considered a small guy compared to them. You know, I'll I'll be real tiny. It's like, yeah, I'm six feet tall, but I'm also 150 pounds. So it's like I'm kind of like a hybrid. You know, if I curl myself up on the bull, I'm like real tiny. It's like I'm like, okay, I prefer it this way. You know, I used to wear I used to wear five X shirts, my waist 44. What? Absolutely not. I this is a medium shirt. My waist, 32.

SPEAKER_00 11:10

That's impressive. Yeah, three years it's like I'm so proud of you. I wanna give right I want to start from your beginning right quick and just like talking about the invisible struggles. Think starting when you were a young boy, you described that your left eye as having darkness and no signal, as if it wasn't even there. How did you learn to explain to yourself that reality going on?

SPEAKER_02 11:34

Here's the crazy part. No one knows how it happened, you know. And so at two years old, that's when my mom and my grandmother started seeing like the eye floating. And so that's when I got checked, you know, and that's when they, you know, had the result where that that's it's detached. He's never gonna be able to see. I mean, we're talking in the 80s now. You know, I was born in 81, so the technology back then, especially in the medical field, you know, was subpart at best, you know. And I lived in New York at the time, so I was always in Manhattan going to, I think it was called New York Eye, Ear and Throat, you know, and and I used to always visit New York hospital itself, you know. So I was always in and out, in and out. And because of that, I even had the same pair of glasses that Steve Urkel had, those big goggles, you know. So yeah, and I think at one point I think she had actually got me the lace for it and everything. I'm like, oh, geez, you're just making this worse for me, aren't you? You know, so but it was again, it was all to protect the right side. And I get it, you know.

SPEAKER_00 12:39

Absolutely. And talking about that, like, what did it feel like navigating the world knowing that everything depended on protecting the right out?

SPEAKER_02 12:45

At that point, I had to really start training myself like maneuvering and keeping my head on the swivel. It's like even driving, I'm very cautious when it comes to driving. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder. I mean, my SUV is a 24, so I get, you know, all the bells and whistles with the cameras and all that, but I'm I'm an old school driver, you know. I've been driving over 30 years. You know what I mean? Come on. You know, so I need to have that. Get my rear view and I'm fine, you know. But it was a struggle, you know. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect when it comes to my navigation because I will still bump into things, but it's not, you know, nowhere near as bad as how I was before, you know. And it it would have to be something that I didn't see, or I just, you know, misinterpreted. And because at one point I think I even hit myself on the roof of my car, you know, getting in. You know, again, I'm a tall guy. But, you know, and even getting out. There have been times where I think I hit myself getting in, like right below the steering wheel, you know, just like that mechanism under there, and it's solid. And I'm like, really? Yeah, you know, that's why that's why I cannot drive sedans because I feel like I'm just way too low to the ground. You know, I need the SUVs, you know, I need the comfort, I need the space. You know, plus again, you know, it has the nice camera system and whatnot, and I get my seat warmers, so that's good too, especially with that ice storm we just had.

SPEAKER_01 14:06

You know, I know, right?

SPEAKER_02 14:08

It was bad. Yeah, it got really bad here. I I got it was suffering from cabin fever because I was in home from Friday to like Wednesday. I hate being home. I'm I'm an outdoors, outdoorsy kind of person. You know, I'm always out and about, you know. I hate sitting down, I'm always on my feet, especially with all the weight I lost, all that pent-up energy. I'm constantly on the go. Right. You know, my Fitbit. I I set my steps for 15k. I crushed that by lunchtime, you know. And I also put it to where it also has streaks. So like every hour you have to hit 250 steps. Kidding me? That's nothing. So I I I challenge myself. I set it for 7 a.m. and I finish it by 8. So they they still count the 7 a.m. and then 8 p.m. So essentially it's 14 hours, you know. And yeah, and that's how I just stay, you know, doing my thing. I work out pretty much every day. I give myself the weekends to relax. But again, if I'm at home not doing anything, once my house chores are done, oh, I gotta do something. So I'll go out for a walk, I'll go out for a drive, something. I just hate being home, you know.

SPEAKER_00 15:15

I feel you, I understand that. I wanna um just get back to a couple questions around your eyes because I felt like shaping that early identity for you and how you grew into the person that you are. How did that, how did your acquisition shape how you saw yourself, you know, not just physically, but emotionally. And you know, you were so young, so you went to school maybe during that time or were you?

SPEAKER_02 15:37

No, I actually went to public school, and that's what made it worse too, because you know, yeah, you have your friends or whatnot, but if they got too close and they started seeing how your eyes are like not functioning the way it's supposed to, you know, kids can be cruel. But even as soft as I am, I'm not gonna allow bullying. Absolutely not. You know, that was one thing my mom made sure, you know, because she didn't meet she didn't meet my stepdad until I was a teenager. So right around that rebel time frame, you know, was when he came into the picture. And that's where I really started toning it down, you know. But up until then, I didn't know. She was like, don't start it, but you better make sure you finish it. You know, no, I that's one thing I I cannot, I despise bullying in any way, shape, or form, you know. So just because you see how I'm this good, kind-hearted person, don't think that I can't flip that ghetto switch in a second. Absolutely not, you know. So, but as I got older, you know, again, it was again protect the eye, protect the eye, protect the eye, you know. And when I was seven years old, she had my younger brother from there. That's when I started with the whole caregiver, you know, phase.

SPEAKER_01 16:46

Right.

SPEAKER_02 16:46

At this point, we have so many kids and cousins and all that, and I pretty much took care of all of them, you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:54

Wow. So you were living with your own limitations of your limitations with only having one eye, and then you also became a caregiver at the young age of seven years old, and that since like let's talk about that a little bit more. Um, because you talk about you were I'm just trying to imagine this. You're caregiving at seven years old, you only have one eye, you're training your other senses, you're hearing your intuition, your awareness. Almost like your body went into problem-solving mode because your mom also had kids and you were the oldest. So, I mean, when did that shift from something you had to do to something you realized like this is just like you realize it was a strength that you had in not only the other senses that you had, but also in being again, oldest of five, right?

SPEAKER_02 17:42

So it started with my younger brother, and then anytime I went out, he was always with me. I remember one time, remember, cell phones wasn't a thing back then. You know, you had pay phones, but my mom, both my parents, they were EMTs, you know. And so they were always out in the field. And I remember I used to always pick him up from school, which was only a few blocks away. And then I would just bring him back home. One day it was snowing really bad. And it was on a Friday. I didn't really want to go home. So I was I told them, I'm like, hey, we're gonna hang out with my friends for a little bit. You know, we're gonna go to the video game store, just hang out, and then we'll go home. We got home and it again, it's bad at this point. Like it's really starting to come down. I don't think I got home to like about five or six. Oh boy, did I hear it when I got home. But I'm like, hey, he was with me. You know, I'm not gonna leave him alone. Right. You know, we were both like frozen at this point, you know. She got over it, obviously, you know, but it's little things like that, you know, I still take pride in, you know, because I look at it this way you're having these kids. I really don't have a social life, you know, but it did get tedious as I was starting to get older and wanted to hang out more, you know, because my stepdad, he worked overnights and she worked during the day. But during the day, he slept. So you're not home. He's sleeping now. At certain points, it was kind of forced on me.

SPEAKER_00 18:59

Did you not like that? And did you ever confront her saying, like, this isn't my responsibility?

SPEAKER_02 19:03

We've butted heads countless times because of it. We I'm telling you, we've literally at each other's throats a lot of the times. We were the same person. It was like two alphas just going at it all the time. You know, it got so bad, it circulated around the entire family. Or like my aunts, my grandmother, my grandmother, she is super protective, protective of me because I was always with her. Essentially, she practically raised me, you know, and so then my aunts, same thing. You know, these are your kids. Why you making him watch your kids? You know, and that's where a lot of our animosity came into play. You know, but again, I know she loves me in her own way, but the fact that she was so intense, so relentless, her work ethic matches my work ethic now, where I do IT. I've been doing it 25 years. I mean, there's pretty much nothing you can say or tell me that I won't pretty much know, you know. And so because I do everything from hardware support to networking. I've even dove into the AI and I also do software development. So, you know, I have I'm very well-rounded when it comes to that, you know. And so I know that is something I can never really forego because technology is the wave of the future, you know, and they're always gonna need some kind of IT support in one way, shape, or form, you know.

SPEAKER_00 20:25

And so when Yeah, but you didn't feel like it was your responsibility to take care of your siblings. And I think that that's a like constant question that a lot of people ask is that especially when a parent has more than one kid, but you you know, your mom had five, and your responsibility is to grow as a child. You had one eye that you needed to understand your other senses and abilities and also be able to navigate the world and to put that extra stress on you is a lot. I agree.

SPEAKER_02 20:53

It is, it is, you know, and it was not fair.

SPEAKER_00 20:56

And did she ever get a babysitter or a caregiver or somebody else that allowed you kind of to have your moment to yourself, or that's when you're gonna I pretty much just stayed, you know, because at this point I just bit the bullet, you know.

SPEAKER_02 21:09

Because I looked, I I looked at it this way. Those kids were always around me, you know. Whereas my brother got older, he started doing his own thing. Then came my sister, and then the two little ones. Now, here's a funny story. The two youngest ones, I got them now. They're with me now. I have two kids of my own. My oldest, she'll be 18 in May, and my youngest just turned a teenager last year, so he'll be 14 in April.

SPEAKER_00 21:35

Oh, and you also have your younger sibling.

SPEAKER_02 21:37

So the older one, so the older one, he's 24, and the younger one just turned 21 right around Christmas. You know.

SPEAKER_00 21:46

So You're a super brother. I love it.

SPEAKER_02 21:49

You know, and they know that I pretty much practically raised them the way my grandmother pretty much raised me, because I was always back and forth, you know. I mean, I I would spend school nights with my grandmother. She would always say, Me to school. We were just a few blocks apart, you know, so it really wasn't a big thing. It's not like we had to go across town or something like that. You know, New York, you can walk anywhere, you know.

SPEAKER_01 22:09

Right. So true.

SPEAKER_02 22:11

Really, it wasn't a big thing. The public's the elementary, the middle school, and the high school were all blocks within each other. So it really didn't matter. And so the way she took care of me is kind of like what I'm doing with the boys now. You know, the same thing with my kids. So essentially, yeah, I got four kids. So and that's and you ask them, and they'll tell you, no, he's my dad. Even though their biological father is my stepdad, the one that passed, you know. So from my sister on, those are his kids. She right now, she's in Florida. You know. And my younger brother underneath me, he's still in New York, you know. So all this of five on that side. But yeah, I and at this point, I really can't see myself doing anything else. I can't leave them by themselves. Because just like my youngest, they're special needs. That's what makes it worse. So imagine that. I have a teenager and two adults, special needs.

SPEAKER_01 23:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:06

Age-wise, age-wise, they're adults mentally wise, they they're all the same age. They're all the same age. You know, they it's all about having that kid-like, playful mentality. You know, so so in a nutshell, that's how they process their thinking. You know, it's ADAD, ADD, and stuff of that nature, you know, and especially when the parents, when our parents passed, it paralyzed us. You know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:30

I'm so sorry to hear that. And I do have a question for people that are listening today. I think a lot of people may even know or they they may have done this themselves because I think that it was such a way that back in the 80s and 90s, the kids did take care of the kids. That was just a way of life in the 70s and being what do you think being a young caretaker at that age does not have to be a good idea?

SPEAKER_02 23:54

It does a few things. You know, it's like it kind of forces you to grow up faster. Essentially, I didn't have a childhood. I didn't. You know, because it was always about protecting and giving and maintaining the house. Because again, once he had a sleep, mom was at work. So essentially, I took care of the house. You know, I did the cooking, I did the cleaning, I maintained all that.

SPEAKER_00 24:18

I'm so sorry. Person is knocking. Give me one one second. Keep going, please.

SPEAKER_02 24:24

Yeah, no, absolutely. You know, and so when you put yourself in that kind of a position or when it's forced on you, you know, it's it's not easy. It's definitely not. You know, and when I look back, I often think, well, maybe she could have worked with me a little better and whatnot. But it was always to the point where, you know, well, you're here, so you have to do it. He needs his rest. And I get that. I'm I'm compassionate about that. I get that, you know, they're working, they're maintaining, you know, the house with the bills and whatnot. Because here's the thing, bills are never gonna take a day off, you know. But I would just wish I had more of an option, more more freedom, you know, because even as I got older, it got progressively worse. Even as an adult, still living with them. I'm working at this point myself. But again, I had no free time. And so when you keep going through things like that, essentially it just stays ingrained with in you, you know. And so I had I had my oldest when I was only 25, you know, and and my and my youngest is only four years younger than her. So before the age of 30, I already had two of my kids, you know. So it's like never really had that chance to venture out and live alone and be by myself for a bit. You know, I've always been around family and kids, you know. So Yeah, so I don't even think I've slept eight hours since I was a kid.

SPEAKER_00 25:49

It's not like even then you were very busy. But um well, let's get into um you had a lot of trauma and grief, you know, throughout this time and like even the sense of how you now are taking care of your younger siblings as well as your two children yourself. Losing your stepfather and your mother within 30 days. I want to acknowledge to you how devastating that is to have my prayers. How did your body respond to that when your heart couldn't process what's happening and you're also taking care of your own siblings at the time?

SPEAKER_02 26:19

At this point, I had relocated down to Texas. Now, this was I relocated down here back in 2016. So he passed 2020. They both did, right in the height of COVID, right? But he fought. Like when I moved down here, that's when my mom told me that he was first diagnosed, you know, and so that made it hard. I'm like, ooh. So every chance I get, I would text him, give him a call, you know. And that's pretty much how I got my softness, you know, my interest, and also honing me down to really speak properly. You know, my mom did too, but she again, she was like really intense. He was really soft-spoken. He read a lot, he did a lot of writing. And I took that, you know, because I do that myself. I'm constantly, my head is constantly in a book, you know, I'm constantly studying, constantly, you know, trying to improve, you know, because with me, the power of positivity, that's where it's at. You know, you got to change that mindset, you know. So, and that's where it all started for me. You know, and so speaking with him, you know, I would give him a call. And we had this running joke where every time I had a birthday, he would say, Happy birthday, old man. And then when it was his, I would flip it. I'll be like, Happy birthday, young man. You know, that was kind of like our little inside joke, you know. And so, but the last conversation I had with him, two hours, you know, and and I want to say it was the summer before he passed.

SPEAKER_00 27:47

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_02 27:48

And so during that time, I was overweight, you know, and so I drove from Dallas to Atlanta and then went south because his town is a real small town in Georgia, you know, so it was about 11, 12 hours or so. But I I drove straight through. That was the first time I saw anybody since relocating, you know. By this time, my siblings, it, you know, shot up like weeds. You know, I'm like, okay, who are you? Because again, when I left, they were they were little dudes, you know. So now it's like, oh good God, now the youngest, that boy's like a dang tree. I'm like, all right, dude, you need to stop. You know, and and I just couldn't believe it.

SPEAKER_00 28:35

You were driving back and forth, you were falling asleep on the road you mentioned while you were driving because you were you you were 300 plus downs, you said. And the doctors also told you around that time that you're not gonna make it past six months to live. That's the moment that changes everything. Absolutely. What went through your mind when you first heard that.

SPEAKER_02 28:55

Let me segue into my mom real quick because so what ended up happening was my younger brother, the one who's just below me, he's a bodybuilder. And during that time, Florida was a hot spot. He had gone to a competition, everyone got together, you know, and that's what pretty much got everyone sick, you know. Now, my mom didn't tell nobody this, but she had pneumonia earlier that year. And you just don't get over that, you know. Now, with COVID pneumonia, essentially, that just turns your lungs into cement. You know, they had to do some procedures to try to alleviate the pressure. You know, couple times she coded, and but she was sedated. That's saying that that so 30 days after, that's what happened. But driving back and forth from Georgia to to Dallas, you know, and but the last conversation she told me, whatever you do, take that weight off. Whatever you do. Driving back home to Dallas, it was even worse. I said, there's no way. I did something's gotta give. So that's when I went for the sleep study. I'm telling you, they send they sent me so much equipment. I essentially look like Iron Man. I had the the vice here, had the nose deal, had the the findex, you know, had everything. And I'm just laying in bed, like, okay, how am I supposed to get any sleep like this?

SPEAKER_00 30:08

You know, I think I know it's a rap they didn't have me at the hospital.

SPEAKER_02 30:12

No, no, I mean I I had the option, but I'm like, I'd rather just be comb comfortable, you know, and I just want to make sure I get it done. So I did that. I took it back to the clinic, you know, because even my testosterone levels were really bad. You know, I wasn't producing enough testosterone either, you know. So I was pretty much getting hits everywhere. And so I took it back, and I think a few days later they called me back in for the results. And that it's and it's a whole form. It's bad, it's really bad, you know. But that what they told me about about the six months wasn't on the report.

SPEAKER_01 30:47

Right.

SPEAKER_02 30:47

They didn't want that on there. They was like, no, no, no. This needs to be a private conversation. And I'm glad they did that.

SPEAKER_00 30:53

And once you react, I'm happy they did that too, because once you heard that private conversation, you said you gave yourself permission to be selfish. I love that language. Yes, yes. Because especially you have to be selfish about your health, your mental health, your physical health, yes, your health in general. So, what does selfish actually look like to you?

SPEAKER_02 31:11

What I essentially did was I tuned out the noise. I said, okay, since I'm always giving and giving and giving and pouring myself into this person and that person, I said, you know what? For this, I gotta put myself first. And that's what I did. So I changed up my diet completely. I went from eating carbs and proteins and this and that to just protein and veggies. If I did have carbs, which was very minimal, it was the complex. Yes. The complex carbs, like the whole grain, you know, and stuff of that nature. So, but it was veggies with every meal, you know. And then I also changed up my sleep habits. I used to go to bed super late. Now, I think 10 o'clock is my latest cutoff. But because of it, I have all this energy and I'm up by like two. So I really only sleep four hours, you know, and but I can function and I'm on my feet all day long. And I know I need more, but again, I when have I ever slept eight hours? You know, I just don't, you know. And so for two years, I threw the mat down and I just did what I had to do. At first, let me tell you, I cursed, I screamed, I cried. It was hard. Because I again I had to use tables for maneuvering, my balance was all over the place. You know, you know how many times I wanted to give up. But that was one that's one thing about me. No matter how hard it is, I will never give up, ever. And so for two years, that's all I kept doing. That's all I kept doing, you know. And so I came up with a nice routine, work out during the week, hang out and chill for the weekends, you know, let my body recover and then just go. And again, I got a bunch of DVDs and it goes by levels, you know.

SPEAKER_00 32:48

And so Yeah, so you were doing DDPY and movement and like yoga and it and at the time you were doing that and nothing else because that's what pushed you.

SPEAKER_02 32:58

Yeah, because I used to work for Renner Center and I had a get on workers' comp, but this was back in New York, so essentially my back is all screwed up, you know. And but because of this, I was able, and he says it in the DVD, he kind of like changed the hands of time, kind of like kill that that rust or that scar tissue. And because of it, I didn't lift not one pound. All I do is the yoga and resistance bands. That's it. I don't touch not one band. No, I mean, don't get me wrong, I can, you know, hump the weight now and and do this and do that. Because I used to work for FedEx. Like, kidding me, I was all over the place with that, you know. So I'm not afraid of manual labor. That's all I used to do. Yeah, you know, but I gotta take care of myself. You know, I'm 44 now.

SPEAKER_00 33:42

What's surprised you so I'm really proud of you 44 and all of the work that you put in for yourself, and I want to know like what surprised you most in becoming you in that process, going from 300 plus pounds to I think you said around 150, right?

SPEAKER_02 33:59

So 175 pounds.

SPEAKER_00 34:02

Yes. Do you feel like during that process did you change?

SPEAKER_02 34:07

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 34:08

Do you think mentally and physically like you you feel different when you walk around?

SPEAKER_02 34:11

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Because here's the thing growing up, I was such an introvert. You think we be doing this back then? Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_01 34:20

Right.

SPEAKER_02 34:20

You know.

SPEAKER_01 34:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:22

I had a really I I think right breaking out of my teenage years and into like young adolescent adulthood, like my twenties, but I really feel like I destroyed all of that when I dropped my way too because that also built my confidence level, you know. And what really shattered all of that was 14 months ago when I started on this journey, you know, making my videos, you know, speaking to people, you know, letting them know that you know what, giving up is never an option. You have other options here, you know. And that's why I tell them, look, you're not alone. You're definitely not alone. If you don't feel comfortable speaking to anybody else, come find me. Come find me.

SPEAKER_00 35:03

I love how you redefine strength. I think that's what it looked like to me. And one of the things you said as you were talking with other people is that you don't try to fix them, you sit with them. And I think that's very powerful. Where did you learn that kind of trend? Was it you being the big brother to five? Is that you now nursing your younger siblings while caring for your kids, or where where did that be?

SPEAKER_02 35:23

I think it was just a culmination of everything. And when I got started on this journey, I'm like, wait a minute. I'm speaking and I'm telling my story. So, and I've always said this to myself too. Even if it just motivates, inspires, and pulls at least just one person from teetering over the edge, then all of this has been worth it. See, I I don't do this for status or clout or any of that nonsense. I do it for impact. That's what my brand is all about. That's what the voice within is all about. The voice within, in a nutshell, is just a mere extension of myself. That's all it is, you know. So I love that. But with me, what you what you see is what you get. Bottom line.

SPEAKER_00 36:00

Yeah, you really started tuning in to focus. I I think that's so beautiful. And you know, at some point in your story, you decided your story wasn't yours anymore and that you needed to share it with others. You said you don't do this for fame, you do it to save that one person. And I want to know, like, what is that voice within, what does that really mean to you? You mentioned that. So I went and and I guess uh to follow up with that question too, is like when someone is on the edge, what do you hope that your voice means to them?

SPEAKER_02 36:30

With me when I started doing, like I didn't even have a name for this thing. I just said, you know what, let me just go take a leap of faith. And just like the way Steve Harvey said, you know, you gotta take that leap of faith, you know, because especially if you're tired of being stuck, being mediocre, you know, I feel like, and I agree with him in this point where everyone has a gift from the day they're born. It's up to you to figure out what it is, right? So again, I I've been in IT 25 years. I thought that was my passion, but once I started diving into this, I can't wait to leave my job now. I can't wait for this to be where I can just wake up and focus on helping people.

SPEAKER_00 37:09

I love that.

SPEAKER_02 37:10

And so when I started doing this, I'm like, okay, something's shifting, something's changing. Because even the way I speak, even how I carry myself, all of that started shifting, all of that started elevating. I am not the same person I was 14 months ago. Absolutely not. Because you can see my first video and you can see me now, it's like night and day. You know, I've had coworkers and even other people. And let me tell you, I was still heavy when I was at my current job now. And when they saw how much I lost, they could not believe it. They're like, what did you do? So I'm telling them, hey, it's not rocket science, guys. Your workout is only 20% of what you do for your nutrition. 80% is what you put into your body. That and your portions. That's it. That's it. You know? You just gotta be, you just have to maintain it. You have to pace yourself. You you gotta just control your portions. And then also the time you eat too. I don't like to eat past six o'clock. I really don't. You know, I don't, I'm not a breakfast person, but if you take away my coffee, I'm scorching this planet. You know, I'm not no. That's my guilty pleasure. I cannot go without my coffee, especially because I'm up so early, you know.

SPEAKER_01 38:20

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 38:21

But that's where I started noticing the differences in how I carry myself, how I speak, how how I talk, how I have whole conversations. You know, and one of my co-works, workers, actually he sent me a text message and I actually put it on my social media platform, I think it was Instagram, how I essentially changed his life. Like he would come up during the lunch break and we would just speak, right? And he wrote this long letter, you know, basically showing how I improved his life, how he's been taking my example and you know, doing it for himself. Him and his wife, they lost so much weight, you know, like they feel fantastic now. They're coming up with their own recipes, you know, because you know, TikTok, you you DIY, you know, you can make whatever. You know, and so they've been doing things like that, just trying to, you know, create their own recipes, like their own seasonings and whatnot, because you know half the seasonings here, just riddled with salt anyway. You know, so eliminate the sodium, eliminate the sugar, you know, and just go ahead and just keep it healthy, you know.

SPEAKER_00 39:22

I love that as we wrap up, uh, I always ask people about resilience. And if you could speak to the version of you who felt broken and exhausted, I'm glad you bring that up.

SPEAKER_02 39:32

Because I always reflect back to that little boy, you know, who always felt like he was nothing more than a provider, you know, always felt invisible.

SPEAKER_01 39:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:42

Especially with my impairment. To me, every time I looked in the mirror, I always felt like something was wrong with me. Like I was, I wasn't complete. And my biggest fear, especially growing up and why I remained an introvert, I didn't want to burden anyone. I didn't want to feel like I speak to you, yeah, we can be friends and whatnot, but it's only surface level. That's as far as it goes. You know, I don't want I didn't want to have that kind of relationship where I'm only good for what I can do for you and not have the re the reciprocation. If I can go back and speak to that little boy, I'll let him know the truth. You know, things are gonna not always gonna be easy. It's gonna be hard. We're gonna lose people. People are gonna betray you. But here's the thing if you don't give up, I promise you it's gonna be worth it. Because I'm just getting started with what I'm doing now. Fourteen months, I've gotten so much momentum going. It's almost like, okay, what is happening? I made a personal promise to myself that 26 was going to be my year.

SPEAKER_00 40:44

It will be.

SPEAKER_02 40:45

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Because I'm all about manifesting too. I'm all about the positive mindset, Bob Proctor, you know, Napoleon Hill. Those are my mentors. And I got I got their books. And again, I'm constantly studying, constantly writing. Every morning I write in my journal for an hour. Easy. You know, and and I just keep on with it. I keep on improving. Here's the thing: you never want to be the smartest person in the room because you will never grow. But me, I'm gonna be the most, I'm gonna be the hardest person, the hardest working person in the room. Because I promise you, you're not gonna outwork me. I try I dare anyone to get on my schedule and see how long you last. I've been doing this four-hour tidbit since I started this journey. And that was 14 months ago. So if you feel you can stay up all day long on your feet and sleep only four hours and still be okay the next morning, then you got my respect. And then me and you need to talk. But if you can't take because here's the thing, take a back seat. Because by the time you're waking up, my work is already gonna be done. And now I'm just focusing on something else.

SPEAKER_00 41:44

Yeah, I love it. Wow. Um, that was you're amazing, my guy. And also, look, you let us need five hours. We're not gonna hurt you, even if you get in eight every now and then. But I just want to say thank you so much, though, for your honesty, your heart, your willingness to just let people in to share your story about not only just the strength, but also the softness, too. I think like it's very definitely a reminder that resilience isn't about having it all together. It's about choosing to keep going, choosing to carry, choosing to become the person you once needed. And also, despite when obstacles come in the way, or even when the story decides to throw in something unexpected with two deaths and 30 days of your parents, you know. I just want to say thank you so much. Um I am know that everybody listening today is gonna resonate with you in some way or another. And uh everybody that's listening, I want you to know that you're not alone and that your story matters and your feeling matters too. Yes. And you're worthy of the life that you're fighting for. So if Mark hasn't inspired you, you better keep listening and go check out his Instagram. He's putting out inspirational videos every day. So, Mark, um, tell us how can we stay in contact with you? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 42:55

So um my Instagram handle is my, you know, my more, you know, popular one that I'm always on more than anything else. You know, so check out official Mark A. Rivera, you know, and that that'll be on Instagram. And, you know, I'm obviously I'm on Facebook, I'm on YouTube, because that's where I home run all of the videos. I'll just post my reels. But if you want the full length, I have it on there too. Everything is on my profile, you know. Every one of my handles, every time you go to this page or that page, you're gonna see everything. So you're gonna get, you know, you're gonna go back and forth, you're gonna see everything. You know, so I have them all, and you can reach me anytime. And this is why I tell people if you feel like you have no other option and there's nowhere for you to really turn to because you don't feel comfortable or you're just not sure, come find me. Let me have one conversation with you. And I promise you, you'll think twice about it. You'll sleep better and you'll feel a little lighter. Because if I can pull myself from out of all of that and still keep going, because hell, I'm not I'm not healed neither. I'm a misfit just like everyone else. And so if I can continue to push and and continue to strive to achieve and reach for my goals, so can you. But I get it, you know, because it's the noise. You just want to silence the noise. I get it. But again, giving up is never the answer.

SPEAKER_00 44:13

You heard Mark. Giving up is never the answer. This is the resilience files unlocked where survival meets transformation. Thank you so much, Mark.

SPEAKER_01 44:21

Thank you for having me.