He Lost Everything. Then He Beat Addiction, Stage 4 Cancer & Rebuilt His Life

He Lost Everything. Then He Beat Addiction, Stage 4 Cancer & Rebuilt His Life

Jack Skidmore had what many would consider a successful life—until a devastating accident changed everything.

What followed was a battle with chronic pain, prescription medication addiction, Stage 4 prostate cancer, the end of a 30-year relationship, and the difficult journey of rebuilding his identity.

Rather than allowing those setbacks to define him, Jack embraced a simple philosophy: "Good." That mindset became the foundation for an extraordinary transformation.

Today, he's healthier than ever, has lost 130 pounds, pursues acting and modeling, and travels the country in his camper, proving that it's never too late to reinvent your life.

In this inspiring conversation, Jack shares:

• How one accident changed the course of his life
• His recovery from prescription pain medication addiction
• Surviving Stage 4 prostate cancer
• The lifestyle changes that transformed his health
• Finding purpose after career success
• Why every setback became an opportunity for growth
• The power of choosing resilience every single day

This episode is a reminder that no matter what you've been through, your next chapter is still yours to write.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

When you feel like life has dealt you a hand of unfair cards. Instead of voting, you double down, are you stuck in the game? You face battles. You felt broken. But hey, do us a favor. Put your hand on your heart. You feel that? You're still here. Welcome to the Resilience Files Unlock, where survival meets transformation. The Resilience Files Podcast. I'm your host, Carrie Bernanz, and I am so excited about today's guest. What happens when the life you build for decades suddenly disappears? We're talking about your career, your health, your identity. Most people spend their lives trying to avoid moments like that. But what if those moments are the very things that force us to rebuild stronger? Well, today's story is about resilience, just like our podcast, right? Reinvention and the mindset that helped one man turn devastating challenges into a completely new life. Welcome back to the Resilience Styles Podcast Unlocked. I'm your host, Carrie Bernans. This podcast is dedicated to sharing real stories of adversity, courage, and the strength people discover when life doesn't always go as planned. Each episode reminds us that resilience isn't about having a perfect life, it's about what you do even when things change. Trigger warning for today's episode. Before we hop in, I want you to know that there are discussions on serious injury, addiction to prescription medication, cancer diagnosis, major life transitions, and more. And while our amazing guest will introduce him shortly, ultimately carries a powerful message of hope and transformation. Some parts may be difficult for some listeners. So please take care of yourself while listening. Now, our guest today. Our guest today is Shaq Skidmore. And as we do here on the Resilience Files, we like to hop into our guest essay that they submit here on the show. So without further ado, I'm going to be the lovely person that reads the essay today. And then we're gonna meet the man himself. And his name is Jack Skidmore. Six years ago, my life completely changed. I spent the 25 years before filling the roles of husband, provider for my family, father of an autistic son, Boy Scout leader, and world traveling corporate executive. I flew 150 round trip flights a year for 20 plus of those years. Home for the weekends, regrettably, I let myself go. I spiraled into a 320-pound diabetic mess of a human. Everything hurt. Activities were limited. I was on all kinds of prescription medicine. I ate terribly, didn't take care of myself. Was all I could do was sustain the extreme travel that I loved. Then the day came. It was a tough week. Four different cities in five days hotels, rental cars, connecting flights, and endless meetings. I landed in Orlando, an hour from home. More tired and exhausted than I knew or would admit, I boarded the bus to the long-term parking lot. The bus pulled up to the stop. I could see my car. I picked up my bag and my briefcase, was talking on the phone. At the same time as usual, exiting the bus, I missed the top stair and fell face first to the ground, bags in my hand, and mid-sentence. I couldn't stand. After a ride in the ambulance, I was told I ripped my thigh muscle in two. A seven-hour surgery left me to sit in a chair for four months, completely immobile, while I healed. I was forced into disability by my company. Half pay and no commission or bonus. The man who was in control of everything suddenly lost everything. Was not allowed to drive, and my insurance company canceled me. Can't work, can't drive, can't provide for my family. No longer am I the man. Therapy for my thigh tear was the hardest. The pain was just getting my leg to flex, was the worst I've ever encountered. Two oxycodons, four ibuprofen, and four acetometaphine just to get through one therapy session. Three times a week for six months. Had to be one of the worst times of my life. Of course, I became addicted to the oxygen. I had to learn how to walk again. First with my walker, then a cane, then finally no cane. Then to a chiropractor to complete the healing. Three again. Back to work. Unsteady, unsure, but determined. But something changed. I wasn't the same person. I upended my life. I left my 30-year relationship, moved to South Carolina. I gave away all my possessions except my car. I lived with a friend. After less than a year, I went back to Florida. Then the next bomb goes off. Cancer. Stage four prostate cancer. I opt for the most invasive surgery with the best outcome. Five incisions across my abdomen. I walked at the hospital the same day. Sheer determination. In the middle of all of this, I decided to drastically change my life. The cancer scared the crap out of me. Still does. No more sugar. No more processed food. No more meat. Ever. I only eat fruit, vegetables, nuts, seeds, and berries. Lost 130 pounds. I started walking, then run, then walk, running. Did a 5K, then a 10K, then a half marathon, then more 10Ks. I started going to the gym five times a week. I now feel 15 years younger than I am. I'm now 66 years old. After the cancer diagnosis, I worked for a year, then retired. I had no intention of retiring. Just one day of a national can national corporate video meeting, I announced that I was done. Retiring, my new job is now working on me. I started my second career: acting, modeling, improv comedy. I did multiple stage performances, been in a music video, TV, commercial, and performed with my improv troop. I left my home and wife for the last time. Again, I left all my belongings behind except my car. My girlfriend, the chiropractor, and I've been traveling to the U.S. in a camper we bought. No schedule, no plan, just going where the wind blows. Living right now on the Mexican border in South Texas, eating clean, hiking, walking and running. After being diabetic with high blood pressure, my life changes have cured me of all of my self-inflective diseases. I have no need for any prescription meds. My advice to anyone facing extreme challenges in life is to just say, good. Tour my quad. Good. I now have the opportunity and time to make myself stronger. Stage four cancer, good. I now have the opportunity to rid my body of the beast and change my habits to no longer give me, to no longer give it a place to live. Don't ever give up. Don't ever sit down. Keep moving mentally and physically. Drive fast. Take chances. Jack Skidmore. Jack, wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. So much there. Wow. First off, how do you feel after hearing your essay read aloud?

SPEAKER_01 6:40

It just reminds me of the details and it took me to get to this day. It took a it took a lot. It was nothing I was prepared for.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

Yeah. That makes sense. I can imagine that. Well, I wanna kind of go back a little bit. So, Jack, before the injury, before the cancer diagnosis, what did your life look like during those years when you were working as a corporate executive? You described traveling 150 plus round trips, flights a year, balancing work with family and responsibilities. That kind of lifestyle can take a serious toll on anybody's health. And I think it can obviously make you feel like, you know, you're kind of running this like clock race, like you're constantly just working to provide, and then you are having these weekends. What did life look like for you?

SPEAKER_01 7:26

So uh, first the United States, the first 10 years driving and flying here and there weekly. And then the last 20 years of my career turned into I traveled the world, uh, flying from business meeting to business meeting to business meeting. My schedule was not dictated by myself, it was dictated by uh sales teams that I supported. And while I was in sales, I was a sales consultant for businesses designing end-to-end business fulfillment systems. So think of if you order something on your phone and two days later what you ordered ended up ends up on your front porch, and you get a picture of the box in your email. I I was the person that designed that to make it happen. I did that my whole career all over the world. So I would get a call on Thursday that Monday I had to be 3,000 miles away. Or I get a call on Monday, Tuesday, I needed to be three states away. And I'd have to just get on a plane and go. And my whole life was for 20 years, the last 20 years of my career, that's what it was every single day. And it became such the norm that it never bothered me. I loved it. And I'd watch people come in and out of the companies that I worked for wanting a career like I had, doing it for a couple months, and then saying, My God, I can't do this anymore because you're just never in control. You're you're always being told, go somewhere, go be here, be there, be here, do this, do that, out it to define me. And and that was a good thing very well for it. So, you know, that that helped, I suppose. I'd get home on Friday afternoon and and then you know, I had to be the father, right? Raising two sons, a typical son and an autistic son, and being a scout leader and you know, and and trying to pursue a hobby just to keep myself sane. Um, I also race cars, which is my hobby, and uh and and so I'd have to squeeze that in where I could. And uh and then you know, maintaining a a relationship with with you know with spouse, and you know, over two and a half days a week, cram that all into two and a half days a week for for 20 plus years. And it was interesting, and it maybe get to the towards the end, but all of the travel I did and all of the things, and what kept my 30-year marriage together was the fact I wasn't there. When I retired, and and when I was recovering from and I was home for a year, I I think we both realized that we didn't really like each other anymore. So, so it was an it's an interesting dynamic of things that happened as a result of things that happened. You know, I I would have never have guessed that what is the problem with my relationship, or I even had a problem with it until you go through life changes.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

Thank you for sharing that. I think that there's gonna be a lot of people that listen to this and you know, some people that definitely relate to you as far as having to take a job that requires you to travel, and then you're only home during the weekends. I guess I have so much so many thoughts around that because I know you say you have an autistic son during that time. Was your son born, or was it, you know, part half of the way through your career, or what part of life was that for you?

SPEAKER_01 10:44

Ten years. I I was I didn't have my first child until I was 34. So much later in life, and probably 10 years into my career, was my younger son, my my older son very successful and married and all of that. My autistic son unfortunately passed away a number of years ago.

SPEAKER_00 11:02

I'm sorry. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 11:03

So that was that was not in uh a little more than 10 years ago.

SPEAKER_00 11:10

Okay, I'm sorry about your loss. Yeah, I was wondering, like, so at the time, was she a stay-at-a-home mom caring for the children?

SPEAKER_01 11:18

I had to be a I had to be a stay-at-home mom. And you know, it's funny, uh, you know, when you're in relationships and and you know, the relationship is clear that I was very career-driven, very career motivated, and that if I was to get married and if I was to have children, that whoever I was married to would have to be a stay-at-home mom, would have to end their career. And you know, in this day and age, most women would just run away from that pretty much and and and think all sorts of but uh this lady looked me in the eye and said, literally, that's all I've ever wanted to do my whole life. So it worked out. It worked out. Little did she know she'd be a caregiver to a severely autistic son while I was off making a living for the family, but she was excellent at oh it worked out.

SPEAKER_00 12:06

That's a blessing. I'm happy to hear that. And yeah, I think there's some women that want to do that. You know, there's some women that are more career-driven, but that's the beautiful thing is that there's so many different types of women. But I want to bow back into your wake-up call with your health. You mentioned reaching a point where you were about 300 pounds and you were dealing with diabetes and chronic pain and a whole lot of life changes. At that time, were you aware that your health was deteriorating, or were you just like feeling like some issues and pains and just pushing through it and just said, like, I have to work? Because I think, you know, many people listening may recognize this pattern in their own lives. And what I'm trying to see say is like, do what do you feel like you were doing in that moment? Were you just pushing through it, or did you know that something serious was happening?

SPEAKER_01 12:52

Well, the wor worst part the worst part of your question is my answer is both. When you travel as much uh as a lot of people do, it's not, you know, not just me, but when you travel like that, you have a choice. You can live a healthy lifestyle, and as I described in my essay, you can, you know, eat correctly and exercise while you're traveling, or you can use it as an excuse to eat poorly, eat anything and everything you want to eat, buy candy at the airport, buy, you know, uh junk food at the truck stop while you're driving, cross state, whatever state it is, and get to the hotel at night after a day of meetings and go out, have a very unhealthy meal, you know, with a couple drinks, and then go back to your home hotel room and and plop into the bed. And you can convince yourself that that's okay. And and maybe when you're in your twenties, it is okay. But when you get into your 50s and your 60s, you can't do that anymore without suffering the consequences of it. So I watched myself go from a 34 waist to a 50 waist size pants, and you know, go from 190 pounds to 320 pounds. And mine, you know, things start to hurt, but you take Advil, right, for it. And so I lived on Advil. And then when I got into my 50s, I went to get a checkup, and the doctor did all my blood work, and he says, you know, you're pre-diabetic and your blood pressure is high, and uh you need to exercise. The doctor will tell you exactly what you need to do, and most people will categorically ignore it. And that's what I did until it got to the point where on one doctor visit, he said, you know, you're you're at a high risk for a heart attack because of how you are. And, you know, I I looked at him and I said, Okay, and that was it. I didn't do anything about it. It took people that ask me that know me, yeah, how did you lose all that weight? You know, they assume I had a lap surgery, you know, or whatever. And and no, I did it the hard way by just doing the doctor's feet correctly, and you'll be fine. Well, it took for me to lose all that weight, I had to tear my quad. I had to rip my thigh muscle to lose that weight. I couldn't myself out of my own lifestyle. I had to have it ripped away from me.

SPEAKER_00 15:12

Let's talk about that, that accident. You know, take us back to the moment at the airport where you were getting off the bus, you missed that step, you fell. Do you remember that? What do you remember about that moment?

SPEAKER_01 15:22

I remembered it like it happened five minutes ago. I'll never forget it. I'd flown to five different cities in four days.

SPEAKER_00 15:30

Yeah, that's a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_01 15:35

At that time, I lived in uh central Florida, a place called Lakeland, Florida, in between Tampa and Orlando, and I was about an hour home. And, you know, my usual walk through the airport. I I know I knew my way around every single airport in this country. So it was nothing to me. Just I knew exactly where I was going and got on the bus. It was a brand new bus. I was the only one on it. I rode out to the car. I could see the car. The car was right, just right there. And I was talking on the phone. I picked up my brief, my suitcase, and my briefcase. I traveled very efficiently, obviously, for all of us I could walk down the steps, missed the front step, went from the top stair all the way to the ground, face first onto the ground. And I I laid, I laid there and I looked up, and there's a Southwest Airlines pilot standing right there. Right there. Wow. He looks at me and says, Are you all right, sir? And I said, Absolutely. I can no problem. I'll I'll I'll get right up. And he goes, Well, I'll help you. So he helped me up and I stood up and I just fell right back on the ground again. And I said, Hmm, something's wrong. I said, I can walk this off. And I tried to get up, I couldn't get up. Apparently, you need that thigh muscle. I've seen pictures after during the surgery and all that. It literally was cut in two. It was like nothing connected.

SPEAKER_02 16:45

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 16:45

So it was a really bad tear. And and I really don't even know how I did it. You know, you would have thought it would hit my head or broke my arm, or I thought for sure I broke my leg or my knee. That's what it felt like. We better call an ambulance. I'm like, yeah, you better. And you know, and that was the beginning. I can remember that, like like this, like it's just happened.

SPEAKER_00 17:05

Yeah, it sounds incredibly painful. And such a such a shift that then led you to the moment where you felt like you were losing your identity in some piece. You wrote something which I find very powerful at the time. And you said that you were the man who had always been in control and suddenly you lost everything. And kind of similar to what you said, you even when you chose your, you know, ex-wife of 30 years, you said, Hey, like, I'm gonna be there. I'm going out to work. You're and I want you to be home. And she was a-okay with that, but all of a sudden you were the provider and you were at home. What did that feel like emotionally for you? Because you weren't just recovering physically. Obviously, you lost your ability to work, to drive, to provide for your family. And what were you feeling in that moment?

SPEAKER_01 17:51

It it I I it was something I was never prepared for. You know, I've always been successful, I've always been driven and motivated and always had everything that I wanted and I and everything I needed, you know, both. And now, you know, I I was desperately clawing at hanging on to that. I I worked for a long corporation. I talked with management. I said, you know, I can do my job virtually. We had just gotten through COVID where I had been doing my job virtually, but I was also flying around during COVID too. Uh I was an essential employee designing systems for COVID signage, which was interesting. But but anyway, I never got COVID either. So, you know, I said I could do this remotely, and they took it as an opportunity, it was a very large deuce their expo payroll exposure, is the only way I can describe it. So they put me on disability, which you know is half of your paycheck. But I had negotiated with every company I've worked for for a lower paycheck and a higher commission percentage. Well, I'll take less of a salary if you pay. I've done that everywhere I've ever worked. I've always been very successful. And that ended up working against me because you know, I the low salary I took was, you know, obscenely low. It couldn't pay my bills. And, you know, it and then having the autistic son, I spent a lot of money on, I had a lot of money going out for therapies and all the things associated with that. So now all of a sudden, you know, I have no control. I and I just I felt emotionally hopeless. You know, I've never felt that before. I was in pain, constant pain. And, you know, the the before I had my surgery, I couldn't even get pain medication. It's uh a pharmacist friend of mine, you know, gave me my first CBD oil, which was a lifesaver back then. And you know, I I'm I am now relying on people to help me, where I spent every one of my waking hours helping people make their businesses successful successful. I I helped people, and now I can't help anybody. I can't even help myself. And it was hopeless. Hopeless is the word. I've I've never really said that out loud, but talking to you here now, that's that's pretty much all that's it. It was hopeless.

SPEAKER_00 20:07

Absolutely, yeah. The person that that has been providing becomes the person that needs the care and you needed a caregiver. And uh I I can imagine how that must have felt and and challenging and just all of that. And I'm so sorry that you went through that and I'm I'm happy that you're through it for the most part. But um and then you got into you had to go through recovery and you started, you know, a slight addiction with your physical therapy. You were saying that it sounded it sounded incredibly painful for you to go to physical therapy. You mentioned that you had to take a lot of oxycodons as well as I think. Yeah, in order to get you through to even do the physical therapy itself. And then you said you even had a moment where you became addicted to prescription medication during that time. What was that period like for you in your life? Was it that you wanted to get back to your normal self as quick as you possibly can? Or was it literally like any movement would hurt unless you were on that medication?

SPEAKER_01 21:13

So, what ends up happening for the quad to heal, for the muscle to reattach itself, I had to sit still for all of those months. And when you're 60 years old and you don't move for that for six months, well, when you go to try and move it, your muscle is atrophied, it won't move.

SPEAKER_02 21:26

Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

So they had to wait for it to heal, then they had to flex it to get it to move. Well, that took almost a year, and it didn't really hurt anymore on a day-to-day basis. But to get into the therapy, what they were doing was taking my leg, imagine you're standing up straight and you go to sit down, but your leg will only bend that far. You can't sit down, your leg will only move that far. Wow. They had to force the muscle day by day to get it to move. And it was a lot of different therapies, and I won't go into all of it, but basically. Is flexing your leg. And I've always been a goal-oriented person. And my first day I walked in, and you know, they said, Here, we just want you to lean against the wall and sort of squat down a little bit, you know, like one inch. And I could barely do it. And I'm, but I'm staring at this bicycle over over there. And I'm like, I want to ride that bike. And they're like, there's no way you can ride that bike. And I'm like, I want to get on a bike and try to ride it. And they're like, all right, tough guy. So I went over there and limped over there, got on the bike. Well, of course, you're you if you ride a bike, your knee has to flex more than 90 degrees. Well, I I couldn't move the pedal but an inch. And I said to myself, I'm going to ride that bike. So I asked, How much therapy can I do in a week? What's the maximum? They told me three days a week. I said, okay, that's what I'm going to do for an hour and a half a session. So I went to the first one, and as they tried to bend my leg, it hurt so bad, it hurt worse than any pain I've ever felt. So they gave me a prescription to Oxycotin. And then he said, Well, it would make it better if you took a couple Tylenols with it, too. So I said, Well, if that makes it better, I'll take more than a couple and I'll add in four ibuprofen too. So I said, I really want to go for it. And they said, Well, we don't recommend that. And I said, Well, that's what I'm doing. So that's what I did. I three times just to get through therapy, that's what it took, every single time. And, you know, eventually I couldn't get oxy anymore because they cut you off, right? Trying to use my authority to get oxy, and I couldn't, couldn't do it. And so, so I got off of that just by, you know, not being able to get it anywhere. So, you know, that that that just defined my whole therapy until I reached one day. And the therapist said, You know, you're you've come along really far. And I said, But I can't still ride that bike. I can't. I try every now and then, I couldn't do it. And he said, Well, I talked to your doctor and he said, I can make it so you ride that bike today. I'm like, Well, okay, let's do that. And he goes, Well, let me tell you what I'm gonna do. And it involved me laying on my stomach, and he took my leg and forced it as hard as he could towards my back while I was laying on my stomach to finally break up the scar tissue. He said, It's gonna hurt worse than anything you've ever felt in your whole life. He goes, but only for one second. And I'm like, All right, I can do that. So that's what I did. And he was right. It felt like someone, like 10 people hit me with a sledgehammer all at once as hard as they could. Shake walked over the bike and pedaled it shakily and videoed myself doing it and cried. And that was that was it. And from there, that's when the therapy got easier. You know, I started walking up a lot of stairs and and all of a sudden everything got easy. And then they're like, hey, now your therapy is just day-to-day life. You know, here's a cane, off you go. I had gone to my doctor at the um one of the last visits, and I walked in on a cane and he looked at me and he said, Do you want to use a cane the rest of your life? And and I said, Absolutely not. And he said, Well, hand it to me. And I handed it to him. He goes, All right, he goes, You're done. Bye. And I was so scared because I've been relying on that cane. It's amazing what you can think little things you rely on. Never, never in my life would I thought I needed a cane. And uh it was the best thing that ever happened to me. And I walked out that day, and that's when I started getting my life, I'll I'll say, back on track.

SPEAKER_00 25:10

Yeah. Wow, thank you. That's wow. Wow. I wanna just hang a moment because I know there's somebody's probably listening to this today, and they're wondering, wait, he just stopped Oxy and just like said, okay, I can't access it, tried to use power and authority to get it. It didn't work out. And you just like, did you have any withdrawals? Did you have any outbursts? Like, I feel like there's so much around, like, we've had other amazing guests that's been on, and everyone's withdrawal from some type of addiction, whether that may be, you know, prescription drugs, drugs, etc., it's usually not that easy. Was it that easy for you?

SPEAKER_01 25:49

I don't want to say it was easy, but I I have this sheer determination built into me. I have come to find. And I thought back to when I was 26 years old, I quit smoking cigarettes. I smoked a pack a day for 10 years straight. And when I turned 26, I was in a relationship, and the only way the relationship was gonna work is if I quit smoking. So I said to myself, okay, we're gonna quit smoking. And that day I threw away a pack of cigarettes, and I've never wanted another one my whole life.

SPEAKER_02 26:19

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 26:20

I drew off of that, I thought back, you know, I'm like, you know what? You literally can do anything you put your mind to.

SPEAKER_02 26:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:27

Pretty much. So, you know what? If I can't get it, then I'm I've I'm I'm just gonna go with it. You know, in my essay I talk about good. I don't want to say I stole that, but I learned that from uh another podcast uh contributor that um it was a navy seal. And I've applied that ever since I about 10 or 12 years ago, I have applied that to my life, you know, the good. And you know, it was like, okay, don't I don't need oxy anymore. I don't still need it. Good. Uh I'll I'm I'm just one less thing I need to worry about. It's mind over matter, you know. It's it's the sheer determination. You know, uh when I I applied the same thing after my cancer diagnosis and I went through big long surgery, you know, I put this big five-ended machine inside of me and did everything that they did. It was about a four-hour operation. I woke up in the recovery room and I I looked up and I said, I'm ready to go. And they're like, No, sir, you you can't go. And I said, Well, yes, I can. I can go. And they're like, Okay, if you want to go, you're gonna have to first get up, sit in that chair, then you're gonna have to walk one lap around the nurse's station, and then maybe we'll let you go. And I said, Well, let's shortcut that. How about I get up right now, five laps around the nurse's station, and by third lap, you call my ride. That's what we're gonna do here. And they're like, Okay. And that's what I did. And as I walked by the nurses station, my surgeon was there, and he said, he turned to the lid, and he goes, Now that's sheer determination. And even let him take me out in a wheelchair. I walked out of the hospital.

SPEAKER_00 27:57

I really appreciate you talked about sheer determination. After recovery, you made some drastic life changes, including leaving your long-term relationship of 30 years and starting over. And now you're on the road, and I think a lot of people are gonna ask, like, what led you to make those decisions? And I know that later on came the cancer diagnosis, and we'll get into that too. But for those decisions that you made early on, and I say early on, this is after you've had a successful career, and then you went to unfortunately being disabled. What made you or what led you to those decisions of, you know, of all of that?

SPEAKER_01 28:34

Well, what what I came to realize is after I stopped working, I spent one year trying to maintain my relationship with my ex-wife. And we traveled, we went uh we went on a two-month adventure through Alaska and Canada. It led me to realize that you know we had become such different people, or maybe we were always such different people that we didn't really like each other anymore. And I made the decision because I I just I I couldn't be happy anymore. And everything that had happened to me physically made me realize that really the only important thing in life is to be happy. And I wasn't sure what was going to make me happy, but I did know what was not making me happy. So I believe I went on a quest to find out what was going to make me happy. I realized that my belongings meant nothing to me. So I just left everything behind and moved to South Carolina from Central Florida and lived there for about a year with a friend and figured decided that wasn't making me happy. So I went back to Central Florida and my wife had said, you know, let's try it again. Well, that lasted about six weeks, and I just we we were two completely different people. I I'm, you know, I'm old, a little older, but I am still very adventurous. You know, I like to ride motorbikes in the desert, and I like to race cars and ride boat bicycles and do extreme things, and I always have, and it just wasn't part of her plan. So we decided that it would be we'd be better friends than husband and wife. So, you know, that uh from there I had mentioned that part of my healing process was going to a chiropractor. And then later in the my essay, I I had said, well, now the chiropractor and I are traveling. Well, it's that chiropractor, Dr. Julie. And she and I had a very professional relationship for two years, and then I left and went to South Carolina and all of the things. And then when I finally came back, it was kind of undeniable that we needed to be together. So we ended up l uh living together in Lakeland, Florida for a year. And she went through a bad divorce, and I went through a very amical divorce divorce, and we she just decided to end her practice. She owned her own chiropractic practice and she retired. And we decided that we were going to buy a motorhome, a small motorhome, and we were going to take off for at least two, probably three years, with virtually no plan other than to stay warm, so to stay along the Mexican border and end up in Joshua Tree in California, and then either go to Mexico or Canada. We haven't decided yet. Still on that, I'm in Tucson, Arizona today for a couple weeks. Looking out the window right now, nothing but cactuses in open desert. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, it's a very little camper. It's it's just a real small little thing, and it's all we need. And so I'm finding that the travel that I sustained for 30 years. I one of the reasons I could do it was I I love to travel. I love not knowing where I'm going to be next. And this is just a continuation of that, basically, except I'm not getting a phone call from someone telling me where I need to be in three days. You know, I call myself up and I say, Do I need to stay here or do I want to go somewhere else? I don't know. We talk to Julie, we decide where we want to go. We've met all kinds of people and done all kinds of things, seen things that most people in their lives will never get to see. Met people along the way, uh, made new friends. So it's it's I highly recommend it. If, you know, a lot a lot of people need the feeling of home. And I've never had that feeling of home. I'm originally from the District of Columbia, is where I was born. I've lived in multiple cities up and down the east coast, and I don't really call anywhere home.

SPEAKER_00 32:22

I love that home is where the heart is, right? I think that for you, you've been traveling your entire life, like throughout your entire career. So home has probably been wherever you have been. And um, I'm happy to know that you guys have a ammo had an amicable divorce. I think that was probably gonna be some questions for some person that's listening today, is saying like 30 years, like it's kind of hard to imagine 30 years to be gone away in just a month. But you know, at least you all decided that you're better off friends and that it was a mutual decision. I think it could be challenging for people listening.

SPEAKER_01 33:00

I I know what you're going through. I've been there, done that.

SPEAKER_00 33:02

Thank you. Yeah, I used to. But and then to the chiropractor go from professional to love life, you know? Life has an interesting way of turning things and happening in different ways. And for you all to both be able to be on the road and to really explore this life is is quite the adventure and it's gonna encourage someone to get out and see life as well, instead of just, you know, waiting for life to happen or afraid to take the adventure. But I want to move to something as we start to wrap out this episode. You had another major challenge in the midst of, you know, your journey of traveling, you know, the world and the US and staying on the Mexican border and you know, just enjoying your adventure. You had another major challenge that appeared, and that was stage four prostate cancer diagnosis. That's, you know, quite alarming. And I just want to know, I mean, of course, you mentioned before that you had some scares with the doctors and they gave you, you know, kind of some warnings ahead of time to get your health on track, but you were kind of like, whenever, like, I'm fine. You kind of gave it the hand for a moment. But what went through your mind in the moment that you heard those words of stage four prostate cancer diagnosis?

SPEAKER_01 34:15

Well, it was the first time that someone looked me in the eye and said, you know, you can die from this.

SPEAKER_00 34:21

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 34:22

And you know, I've never had that name. And and it went from zero to a hundred was kind of what you were talking about. I you know, you get a test called a PSA test, a uh prosthetic antigen, a prostate-specific antigen test, PSA. And I recommend every guy from 45 or 50 years old on every six months get it. And there's no symptom, like nothing happens, nothing, you know, pain. No, well, if you let it go too long, you'll feel pain, and then it's a death sentence. But basically, your prostate is right part of your urinary tract, and the only symptom you'll ever have, and if anyone older who's watching this, your doctor's gonna ask you, do you have any trouble urinating? And and you'll look at him and say, nah. But you do. You just don't know it. It's sneaking up on you minute by minute. It takes a really long time. And when they do this test, you get a number. And my number was okay, it was a little high, but nothing, you know, out of the ordinary. And you know, I I can always go on Dr. Google and look things up, right? Like everybody does now. So I was like, All right, I'm good. Well, I went back for one of my tests and the number was spiked. And he said, My doctor looked at me, he said, Yeah, we're gonna need to get a biopsy today. I'm like, today? He's like, Yeah, right now. So I had to go upstairs to the place that I go. And they had I went to a proctologist there and or urinology, urologist, and they took the sample, and he's like, Yeah, we're gonna need to operate. And I'm like, okay, well, when? He said, I have a spot in two hours. And I'm like, two hours? He goes, Yeah, it's stage four, and I could probably get it now, and you'll be okay, maybe, but I don't know. We need to go, we need to do this right now. And I'm like, he's like, here's your options. You can do what some people do and choose to do nothing, and you'll probably be gone in about three months. And then he gave me all the other all the other options, uh, which I won't bore you with. But the I took the most invasive and the most radical, with probably in some ways the best outcome. The best outcome being that I probably won't die of of prostate cancer. But the lingers, uh, which I won't get into, as you could probably imagine, you know, are sort of hard to uh swallow. But I chose that path. And, you know, uh, I thought to myself, okay, you know, why would I choose anything else but the hardest bleed outcome? Why, why, why wouldn't I choose that? And, you know, my philosophy of good, okay, because of my quad tear, I had been losing weight, I had been eating correctly mostly. But then I said, now this is this is a sign, this is telling me now this is what you need to do. If if I survive this, I promised myself that you know I would not feed the cancer in me anymore. And I've lived up to my own promise to myself. And I've been cancer free. I didn't have to do radiation or chemotherapy. And now I've been cancer free for a few years, and I'm hopefully going to stay that way and uh take some supplements. And I I probably, you know, better than 95% of the people my age in their 60s, and I can tell just by looking at people, their health, when someone looks you in the eye, and and and what I didn't put into my essay is I've had yet another health scare that I've gotten through, where someone looked me in the eye and said, You could die right now, this second. When I turned 65, they scanned my heart and said that I had 90% block blockage of my main valve called the widowmaker. And that's and they said that I had that. Well, a long story short, I I they they told me to just go home and take medicine. And I said, No, I'm not gonna take your poison medicine one. We're gonna do something about this. So I had to force the insurance company to put a camera in my heart and come to find out the test that they give every single person who turns 65 and goes on Medicare is known to be 80% inaccurate. They do not tell you that. I found all of that out. I called out my insurance company on it, and within three days they had a camera in my heart. Well, I had 0% blockage in all four bats. But they looked me in the eye and said, You could die right now. If not right now, right now. We're in five minutes. You need to go home and sit down. I said, I'm not gonna stop over running, I'm not gonna stop walking, I'm not gonna stop riding my motorbike, I'm not gonna stop racing. No, no, no, shin. I have a heart, 90% blockage in my heart. Good, prove it to me. Prove it. And they put me on a treadmill. I ran three and a half miles an hour for 15 minutes.

SPEAKER_00 38:48

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 38:48

Most people, most people my age can't go one minute.

SPEAKER_00 38:50

Right.

SPEAKER_01 38:51

Or that even that's and they they said, Well, hmm, that's weird. Like, yeah, isn't it? Well, now I have a tattoo right here of my actual sinus rhythm. One sinus, one heartbeat right here, right over my heart. So every time the doctor who told me I was gonna die looks at me, I tell him to put your stethoscope right over that where you told me I was gonna die. And there so you know, it it's interesting. My advice to anybody is when people tell you, you know, you have this bad illness or you, you know, you have a you're gonna die, don't just sit down. Don't don't believe it. Do something about it, whatever it takes, unless you're ready to die and you really want to go through that. You know, most people aren't, but do not that's been my my my my mantra. Don't let your illnesses define you, which a lot of people do. I'm 66 and I can probably outdo people half my age.

SPEAKER_00 39:41

I love that. Yeah, wow, phenomenal story. We have a couple more questions as we wrap up, and I really appreciate you sharing that with us. And don't let your diagnosis be the final say-so, and to challenge it and to make sure. Let's talk about the turning point for you. You also made some radical changes after that diagnosis, including changing your entire diet. You say you don't eat any meat anymore, no sugar anymore. So many things like to up and uproot and change your diet like that takes a lot of sheer determination, which you mentioned before. But what really motivated you to take that step?

SPEAKER_01 40:16

You know, it's really simple. And it's funny, it's something that I taught anyone who's ever worked for me is that, you know, if you say, Wow, you know, just what you said, you you don't eat meat, you don't do, you know, all the things I don't eat or and all the things I do eat, you know, someone says, Wow, you know, I I need that hamburger. I could never do what you did. Well, you know what? You're right. Say you can't go without that hamburger, you're a hundred percent right. But if you say, you know what, I don't need that beef poison anymore at all, you're also right. Pick the one that you want and that hard all at the same time. And because what what you say is right. So a lot of people say, Oh, I could never do it. Well then you're right. But I could do that, you're also right. And in business, I I taught a lot of the guys who work for me that. You know, they'd say, Oh, this, you know, I I this I can't do this, I can't do that. I'm like, well then you're right. Yeah, you know, but if I but if you again look at me and said, you know what, if I did this and this, well then I could do that. Well then you're also right. Pick one.

SPEAKER_00 41:18

Right.

SPEAKER_01 41:18

There's only one way, that way, that way. So I would just say to anyone, if you want to feel 15 years younger, if you want all of your aches and pains to go away, literally literally, uh at my age, I had zero aches and pains. If you want that all to go away, your knees to stop hurting, your ankles, all the swelling to go away, you want it all to go away, stop eating processed foods, stop eating meat, stop eating sugar. Sugar is worse than heroin, it is the one poison that will kill you. And it's so simple. You pick up whatever it is you're you're you're gonna eat, you turn it around, you look at how many grams of sugar in it. Or if it's more than three, put it back and never eat it again. Wow, you'll lose a hundred pounds just like that.

SPEAKER_00 42:01

Yeah, that's that's big. And uh, you already talked about how you lost over 130 pounds. So you guys listen to the person that lost over 130 pounds is trying to show you the way right now. You can run races, exercise regularly, and look up and see, just stop eating so much sugar. I think that's so much such a start walking.

SPEAKER_01 42:24

Yep. Start walking and stop eating sugar and you'll lose a hundred pounds, just like and you'll feel so much better. And you know, some people will say, Oh, well, you know, I've gotta have one cookie. Well, no, you don't. And it's once you stop eating sugar, once you stop eating sugar for six months, it doesn't feel good anymore. You taste sweetness in things you never thought were sweet. It's the weirdest thing. But yeah, I mean, I can't even eat anything with sugar in it, it tastes terrible.

SPEAKER_00 42:50

No, I do like sugar, but I don't really like it that much. I like it just like once to twice a month. But I I'm gonna be more mindful now that you told me that I appreciate it. But today your life looks completely different. You mentioned that you obviously retired from corporate work and you started acting and modeling, doing improv, comedy, you're traveling the world with your girlfriend. As we also wrap this up, I would love for you to also let us know how you feel about where you're at in your life. And then I want to go and end with the follow the philosophy of resilience for you. And we're gonna go back and end it with that good metaphor that you talked about of saying like responding to challenges, but just good. So how does retirement look right now? And you hopping into kind of a whole nother career, acting, modeling, improv, and and being on the road while doing it.

SPEAKER_01 43:41

Well, I had to do something, and you know, I I I give my grandmother all the credit for the acting part. You know, I I've been in some plays, I was in a Hitchcock production. I got picked to be in a music video. I was very proud of that. And I've been in a few television commercials, and everything we just talked about enabled that because if I The old Jack, if I was the fat Jack, none of this would have ever happened. I couldn't have done that. No one would have picked me to be in their music video or their, you know, in their play. I've been in a little award-winning movie, a little short movie. We won uh first place at the St. Pete Film Festival with it. And uh, you know, my I have to give my grandmother credit because my grandma I was raised by my grandmother in in DC. And my grandmother would always look at me and say, you know what? Act like you have some sense. Would you? You know, act like you are somebody. And you know, I started thinking about that. And you know, I spent my whole life in corporate sales and and technical sales. And basically, you know, I was acting as that person. And so I thought to myself, after I retired, it's no different than what I've been doing for 30 years. You know, I'm just I'm just acting. I don't have any problem standing in front of a hundred people on stage and you know, acting like a fool with my improv troop. So, you know, I'm sort of on a little uh sabbatical from improv because our team plays in Lakeland, Florida. So I'm I'm not going back there for a while. But, you know, uh doing podcasts and I've done a couple virtual modeling events, and um, you know, I never knew that the modeling world needed older people, right? Every all the commercials you see, and everything you see is everyone's a model or an actor or both. So I got a couple agents and off I went. I'm exactly where I want to be right now. Living day to day on the road and negotiating, keeping a household going, you know, groceries and packages and Amazon and all that when you really don't have an address is a fun challenge, really. Yeah. But, you know, I I feel the best I've ever felt physically and mentally. You know, I still in touch with my my son and my friends and meeting all kinds of new people along the way and made all kinds of new friends. And um, I've come to learn that um, you know, there's a lot to be said for staying in one of your own little town and and and and and just spending your life there and and and you know being part of that. But your mind will become so much more expanded when you see how other people live and what their reality is. And what can you do to make a difference in their life? I was in Boquis, Mexico. I took a rowboat across the Rio Grande River. You did this with a dirt road and one Mexican rest, one restaurant. And all the little kids along the way are trying to sell you trinkets and things. Their mothers are there. I started thinking, you know, that the my life across the river is nothing like this at all. And, you know, but that doesn't make it bad or wrong, or it just is. And and seeing how the rest of the world is and how everybody lives expands your mind and your thoughts and your capabilities beyond your wildest dreams. And so that's where I am right now. I'm out expanding my mind and my reach.

SPEAKER_00 46:53

That's amazing. I love that. Love that. Yeah, you're gonna encourage somebody to get on the road and start backpacking or road tripping or traveling or, you know, choosing to do something after retirement and not just be in the house all day, you know. As we wrap up, one of the most powerful parts of your story is your mindset, I feel like. And that's the mindset of responding to challenges with the word good. You said that, you know, you may have taken it a little bit from another podcast, but you use that philosophy in your life. And you referred that you reframe setbacks as opportunities for growth. Can you explain what this philosophy means and any advice that you would give to listeners as they go through challenges or feel like life turned them upside down? They went from being the head house, head of the house, the provider, the one that supplied, you know, everything that their family needed to being at the point where they were sitting still and not exactly sure on where to go. And they're scared and they don't know how to say good, because it doesn't feel good. Sometimes it feels tough, sometimes it feels challenging, sometimes you feel stuck. So how how can you develop that good philosophy mindset in the midst of pain?

SPEAKER_01 48:02

I'm not gonna say it's easy, because it's not, but you know, a lot of people look like you just said, something bad happens in their life and you're at a crossroads. You can let it define you, you can let it consume you, but that puts you in a circle, a big swirling circle that you can't get out of because all you can think about is this happened to me, uh, woe is me. What you know, I can't know this is bad. Oh no, this happened to me. Then you just go around and around. But instead of getting worried or freaked out or, you know, or or nervous about any situation, because you're not the first person to go through a situation, you know, you're you're about the 10 millionth person to go through whatever your situation is, whether it's cancer or a heart scare, whatever it is. You know, you're you're not the first one to do that. There's always an answer. So it it's like I said before, it's it's simple and it's the simplest thing and the hardest thing all at the same time, is that when something bad happens, just say good. Literally say it out loud. Say good. Now, instead of talking about what you don't have, talk about what you do have. Now I have an opportunity to overcome this. I have the opportunity to make my health better, to make my life better. I have an opportunity to change my life and then start walking. And I don't really mean that metaphorically, and I mean that for real. But if you can say the word good, then you're alive, you're still here, nothing's changed. You say the word good, look at the opportunity that's presented, and you move forward. It's literally, but the hardest part is getting out of the swirling vortex and actually saying the word good and meaning it. And you know, you can't just say it. You have to remember if you can say the word good, then you still have some fight left in you just by saying the word. So, like the podcast, the other podcaster says, you know, stand up, dust off, recalibrate, read and go out on the attack. And that's it. And I've taken that to heart in many situations, and I'm 10 times better for it.

SPEAKER_00 50:09

Love that.

SPEAKER_01 50:10

And there it is.

SPEAKER_00 50:11

Stand up and say good. Yeah, it reminds me of like it was another podcast episode that people hear too, is she says yes and like she used the improv technique. Now I know you do improv troop, and I've done a lot of improv myself. And it's kind of like good is like yes and like continuing on, like it's gonna happen. The reality is that if you live long enough, you're going to experience the highs and the lows. But if you continue to go, even when it's slow, you will experience another high. And you're right. I think the biggest thing to realize is that you're not the only one. And it may feel like a very alone process in that moment. But the reality is that this too will pass if you keep going and you don't stay stuck there. I want to say thank you so much, Shaq, for sharing your story with us today. Your journey is so powerful. It's definitely a reminder, it's never too late to reinvent yourself, rebuild your health, reclaim your life, and also to take diagnosis a little bit more serious or even warnings that the doctors may have. And they don't just say it just to say it, but also in the same respect to question sometimes the diagnosis that you may receive, because sometimes systems are outdated and you know the results could be conved. I really appreciate you sharing your story with us. For everyone listening today, I want to say thank you so much for listening to the Resilience House Podcast Unlocked. If today's episode inspired you, please share it with someone who you feel may need encouragement today. Let them know that they're not alone. Maybe they're they have a story similar to Jack's, or maybe a part of Jack's story could resonate with them. Resilience isn't about avoiding hardship. Resilience is about choosing to do it even when hardship exists. And just like Jack shared, we can say good, pick ourselves up and keep going. And know that where there was a low, a high is right around the corner. So don't give up, don't give in, and know that you are resilient. I'm your host, Carrie Bernan. Tune into the next episode and share this with a friend.