Deep Dive with Dr D
Discussions on life and living with Dr D. A man who has risen from the lowest depths of life to the amazing life he has now.
Deep Dive with Dr D
Your Darkest Stories Might Be Someone Else's Light in the Darkness
"The scars I carry aren't shameful. They're someone else's survival guide." This powerful philosophy has guided my journey from high school dropout to university professor, from jail cells to a life of purpose and meaning. But why do I share these painful chapters so openly?
Authentic vulnerability creates bridges where isolation once stood. For those who've experienced trauma, addiction, incarceration, or profound failures, hearing another's story of transformation can ignite hope where darkness has prevailed. Throughout this episode, I explore the delicate balance between protective privacy and healing transparency, emphasizing the importance of personal healing before public revelation.
My own path toward sharing began in counseling sessions and small recovery groups, gradually expanding to blogs, speaking engagements, and eventually my book "Grit Over Shame." Each step brought trepidation but also liberation. The responses—private messages from people finding courage in my words—confirmed what I deeply believed: every time we tell our truth, we light matches in the darkness for others seeking their way forward.
For those considering sharing their own stories, I offer practical guidance: start with journaling, find trusted confidants, and recognize that meaningful revelation doesn't require a platform—sometimes telling one person your truth begins the healing process for both of you. Your unique experiences, particularly your journey through challenges toward healing, might be exactly the medicine someone else desperately needs.
Ready to explore how sharing your story might transform not only your healing journey but become a beacon for others? Listen now, and discover why the truth you're scared to tell might be exactly what someone else needs to hear. Your voice matters more than you know.
Find me on other socials here: https://linktr.ee/davidandkatrina
Hi everyone, welcome to the show or back to the show, whichever category you're in. Today's topic what I've lived through, why I share my past and why it matters. Let me start with a quote. Some people say why do you talk about your past so much? Here's why Because the scars I carry aren't shameful. They're someone else's survival guide. That's why Because the scars I carry aren't shameful. They're someone else's survival guide. That's why. So I want to talk today about why revealing your past can be super helpful for others. It can be helpful for yourself. I'm going to talk about the importance of self-healing before you start sharing your past, because there might be people, places, where you want to be careful about sharing your past. You don't just want to be out on the street corner saying, ah, here's my past. You know that's probably not going to go well. Um, so let me talk a little bit about who I am. For new listeners.
Speaker 1:My name is David Douglas, dr D. Deep Dive with Dr D. One of my taglines is from GED, high school, dropout from the streets and jail cells to Dr D. I live a pretty amazing life today. Dr D, I live a pretty amazing life today. I'm recording this in my home office and glancing out to our backyard where just yesterday we had our annual slip and slide. It's water slide. Now we rent a big blow-up water slide, but it started out as a slip and slide eight years ago. Every year for my birthday we throw a big party and we invite friends and family and neighbors and gosh, I think, I don't know, maybe we had 30 people in the backyard coming and going and I get to do those kind of things in my life today and those are the meaningful things. I was sitting there talking to my neighbor Keith and I tapped him. I said hey, there, it is right. There, as I'm looking at the water slide, this big blow up, and I see a handful of kids just splashing around having a good time and Johnny the German shepherd, he was just the lifeguard all day and I said that's what it's about Now. I love my adult friends. Right, the adults take turns doing it and then the kids get it for the most of the time, but it's providing those kinds of opportunities for kids to laugh and play in a safe, healthy environment. I lived a crazy childhood. My friends Just cringeworthy.
Speaker 1:This would be my quick plug for my book. I might talk about it a little bit in this podcast. If you're watching on the YouTube channel, you can see me showing the cover of my book. If you're listening. My book is titled Grit Over Shame and you can get it, uh, paperback on amazon. Uh, if you want to shop locally in ellensburg, you can get it at pearl street books and gerald's and you can get it online through gerald's, you can get it in ebook in um through kindle and apple books and you can listen to yours truly narrated on Audible. In that book I talk about my childhood and friends. It was crazy. So this is supposed to be an intro about me. So, in a nutshell, that's who I am.
Speaker 1:My overall goal in life is to help people see that they have it within them to do amazing things. You have it within you to do amazing things. Period end statement. Now and then. What I say is now get busy right. Do the work you need to do to get to where you want to go.
Speaker 1:I have worked in a variety of different careers, a lot of careers. I grew up in the restaurant industry, in the service industry, I've been a painter, I've been a long-haul trucker, I've been a laborer, a framer, an infantryman in the military, a drill sergeant, an armored car driver. Oh man, sales. I did phone sales. That was not fun. I'm not good at trying to get people to buy things they don't want. I did appliance sales. And today in my life, my wife and I own a preschool. I say we own a preschool but really she runs that preschool, man, she does good work. I teach at Central Washington University. I've been doing that for 13 plus years and don't just teach, I advise, I'm involved on campus. I love helping young people achieve their goals, certainly in the classroom and their educational but life goals, like we.
Speaker 1:We had several of my students come to the party yesterday and drop in, got to talk with josh and cat and josh is man, he he's got his job, he they're moving to the tri cities. Um, he was saying you know, he's like I, I'm feeling a little, you know off. He says I got a work truck, I got a, I got a gas card, I got a laptop, I got an office. I'm like Josh, that's what you work for, you go enjoy it. So that's the work I get to do. I'm highly involved in the community. We know our neighbors. I always say I want to get to know my neighbors that want to get to know me, and we love our life.
Speaker 1:I'm a father, I'm a grandfather and I'm a brother and an uncle and all those really important roles, uncle, and all those really important roles I have lived through addiction, incarceration, lots of heartbreak and the important part, rebuilding. More than once. Rebuilding and I choose to talk about it publicly through this medium, which is fairly new. Started first of the year. My blog is out there. You can go to davidadouglasblogspotcom and you can peruse through there. I've written. I've taken whole months and written about my life and my book.
Speaker 1:I talked about it earlier. I said I'd probably talk about it again. It's out and I speak when I have the opportunity to speak. Whether it's about my story, I do that In the classroom, like I don't talk about my life. That's not my job there. I teach. I love teaching the topics I teach, but when I have the opportunity I talk about my life there, professionally and how I've been through ebbs and flows. And so today I want to explain why I do that, why I talk so publicly about my life as a whole, and how it might help you do the same. It might be a path for you.
Speaker 1:I say for my friends in recovery from addiction and mental health disorders and just life stuff who have turned it around, speak loudly right? There's a group there. It's called. I'm Not Anonymous right Now. If you go to 12-step groups or any type of anonymous group, that's great, stay anonymous there. But you know what I need you to do. I need you to tell the world that you turned your life around and how you did it right, what worked, what were the barriers you faced, what were the brick walls and how could we as a society help people turn their lives around right.
Speaker 1:So let's talk about self-revelation. Okay, I'm following my script here to kind of keep me on task. Let's talk about it and define it right. What is self-revelation? Opening up about your past, right, and we a lot of times. I think time and space is really important, friends.
Speaker 1:In fact, I want to say this be careful about who and where you share the secrets of your past, like I was a convicted felon from 1995 to 2010,. Right, and I talk about it today, I'm a former convicted felon. I don't like public, but you got to be careful who you share dark parts of your past with. Why? Because not everyone's open-minded, not everyone's educated and understands that people can turn their lives around Like, uh, I've done done a lot of drugs, a lot, um, uh, and and you gotta you just gotta be careful, do the work for you right, heal from your past.
Speaker 1:Because if you haven't healed from your past and you start sharing that out to the world, there are going to be people who are like oh God what, and they're going to judge you, they're going to look at you differently. If you can't handle that, it's not going to go well. So I always say there, I know there are some people in the recovery community who lead with like just talking about all it's like whoa, and then they're upset because people like can't take that. You got to know kind of the good venues to do it. And if, if you've done your healing though it's not going to affect you, what other people think.
Speaker 1:So it is define it right, self-revelation, opening up about your past, especially the hard or hidden stuff. Now acknowledge that there's some fear with this. Okay, it's not easy to say here's where I fell apart, right, but you also, you can't inspire people with a mask on and I'm going to tell you like I've written. I've written, I've spoken, I've had articles done on me about my life and my past right, and even with that, like publishing this book now for the world, it's like, oh, oh, god, you know. And here's here you go. Here's another authenticity, if I do.
Speaker 1:I didn't share everything. There are parts of my past that I guess you know I'm just I struggle with how people will view me. There are other parts, I don't care, so know that for yourself. It is my goal to help people see that they have it within them to do amazing things. And how do I do that? By revealing the truth that I have tripped and fell so many times. I've screwed it up. I had a childhood that I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. I behaved in ways in my adult years that I'm like oh, I was a terrible husband to my son's mother, terrible. I was not good in relationships. I, I, I had some points along the way where my fatherhood toward my son was not good. You know I talk about that and I also talk about the healing right. I think if you're, if you're just talking about your past, but you haven't done the work and moved on, how's that going to help anyone? Maybe it will, but it's important. It's not easy to say. Here's where I fell apart. But you can't inspire people with a mask on Everyone's not doing well all the time. We know that, yeah, but so personal story or turning point that's my next segment. Um, so it's.
Speaker 1:It asked me here share a specific moment when you told your story publicly for the first time, or someone else's honesty gave you hope I've got one of those or you realized silence was no longer serving you. So, gosh, you know, I guess, telling my story publicly for the first time, when was that? I'd have to go way back, probably 2012, when I really started. Let me go backwards, when I realized my silence was no longer serving me. It's therapeutic for me, it's therapeutic in general for humans to open up in a safe space. So here's where I started is in a counselor's office, in a treatment center. That's where I started peeling the onion of my life, opening up like, oh, that's scary. Oh, okay, I'll do a little bit, I'll trust, I'll see how it goes. That's what I recommend, right in a safe space. And then I had people say to me, david, you've got a story to tell. And I was like, oh, okay, well, all right. And I, I, I tried it and I, I had the local school newspaper write about me, the, the local newspaper, and then for me, writing. I love writing, which means typing right, writing. And I I created my blog and it's been several years ago now.
Speaker 1:I remember you know what, for a month of March, which is my recovery anniversary month. For that month I'm just going to write my life, I'm going to put it out there. That was, I think, maybe the really publicly put it out there. It's out there. You can go to March. I don't know which year was the first year I did it go to March. I don't know which year was the first year I did it and there was some fear with that, but also a knowing that I want to help people, men, people in addiction, people who've had childhood trauma. I want to help them know they're not alone. That that gave me the courage to do it. And then, overwhelmingly, the feedback that I got was positive. Like you know, I've gotten private messages. I've had people comment online and people say to me you know what that helped me. That, for me, really, really pushed me to do it more.
Speaker 1:Now, a time when someone else's honesty gave me hope, I'm going back to my second time in treatment. There would be different speakers that would come out from different organizations. And this guy came out. His name is Terry Weber and he was promoting a program for people in early recovery which I ended up going through which was a huge catalyst for change for me, for my life and many others. And he talked about this program but he was pretty open that he was uh, uh, uh, uh, incarcerated, a convicted felon, and yet with that, like he was, I was like, oh, wow, he's saying that out loud, you know. But he says but my life has changed for the better and here's what I've done and here's what I want you to do. I was like, oh, that gives me lots of hope, lots of hope.
Speaker 1:That was one time where just really gave me a lot of hope to maybe reveal my life. This is way back in the mid-90s, a long time ago. I wasn't there yet. For me it was just in a counselor's office, in a group setting in recovery support groups and individuals you know who I could tell were heartfelt in listening to me and didn't judge me.
Speaker 1:When you have a past and you're looking people in the eye, when you share a little bit of that secret and you're seeing how they respond. I've had so many people respond so favorably that it gives me encouragement to do it more, because I want to help people. I want to help people see that they have it within them to do amazing things. So, um, I think it's really important and, like I said, that moment way back, when Terry Weber came out, it gave me hope and I said that's that's what I want to do, that's what I want to do. I want to give people hope. So that's why I continue to do what I do. You know why? Why does it matter? You might be thinking, well, who cares? What does it matter? Why it matters is this is sharing your past can help someone feel less alone.
Speaker 1:We do this, friends, right. We get in our brains and we get on that ruminating thinking that we're unique in our situation, which you are in your unique experience, you know. But we think, oh, I'm the only one going through this. I'm the only one that this, that's a. I've been in that place. I've been in that place and it's been people who have came and and shared with me their own story and I've been like, oh, oh, wow, okay, right.
Speaker 1:One of the things in the recovery community that we talk about is, you know, when we think we're so unique, that can actually be trouble for us. But when we open up and we find out we're not alone, oh, okay, like again, yes, you're unique and your personality and your unique experience, but we've all kind of been through stuff and when we open up about that, that can really chip away at that isolation for sure. The shame that, oh, you know, oh, the terrible things I've done, the terrible things that have happened to me and I, I feel like it was my fault, blah, blah, blah. There's here here the ripple effect.
Speaker 1:Every time I tell the truth about my life, it's like lighting a match in the dark and somebody else might be out there looking for a spark Again. When I, when I get messages from people or I talk to people and they say, like I do quotes of the day, and I do them, I do them for me and for you, right, I put them out there during the week and, um, when I hear someone say, you know what, I really appreciate that simple thing that you do. It helps me start my day. I'm like, I'm in, okay, I'm going to keep doing it Right, because if, and then, on a deeper level when you share the dark secrets of yourself. I'm going to tell you, it's a powerful thing when someone says, wow, what you shared, I thought I was the only one. Hmm, that's, that's beautiful, so light, some matches in the dark. That's beautiful, so light, some matches in the dark. You might have someone out there that's looking for that spark, right, that you give them.
Speaker 1:So now, what do I encourage you to do to get to a place where you can share more of you to help others? Start journaling, start journaling. I have for this podcast you know, if you watched me or listen to me I have my original journal from the very first time. I started journaling in the early 90s, right, and now I have decades, decades of history of my life that I can reflect back on. It's also very therapeutic and, for me, legacy that I'll be able to pass on, right. So journaling is a very, very good thing, it's very helpful, um and or start recording your, your story, right, we have technology all around us and uh, we, we can share their stories. But start journaling is a good thing.
Speaker 1:In some way, shape or form and start small, right, find I, if you listen to me at all, you've heard me talk about your circle of influence, those four or five people that you talk to on a regular basis. Take some risk with those people, sharing those things that maybe you say I don't know if I'm ever going to share that with anyone. I kept it a secret until I was um, wow, 20, 27 that I had been sexually abused and I just said that, so, free flowing like it's. It didn't start like that. It started with sharing it with one person, taking a small risk, someone that you know, whether it's a counselor or a friend or a trusted family member. Share a small part. You'll be surprised at the positive response. You'll get the empathy. Be careful, I say Don't just share it with anyone. So do that and understand this. You don't have to tell the world. You don't have to Like I say I'm not down on the street corner with signs saying oh, I'm a former convicted fella and I'm a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I did drugs, I was a criminal. No, I'm not doing that. But I would encourage you that you should stop hiding from yourself.
Speaker 1:The healing comes when we start talking Again, whether it's a counselor, your preacher at your church, your significant other, a trusted friend. That's when the healing comes. Listen, your story is you. I was just talking with a friend in the community who has a powerful story. Friends, like people, say I have a powerful story man and I know she's done a lot of writing. I know because we've talked about it. I've actually seen it when I went into her place and she has a powerful story and I say get it out there, get it out there. And we were talking about that. You know what people think about us and you know how people judge and view us differently. And I was just like man I don't want to say her name because she's she's not there yet your story is medicine, not just for you, but for others. I said you, your story can help change the trajectory of so many young women's lives. So your story is medicine, not just for you, but for others. So here's some hope.
Speaker 1:And I'm going to wrap this up. You don't need a microphone. Here I am on a microphone. You don't need a microphone to make a difference. You don't need a microphone to make a difference.
Speaker 1:Sometimes telling one person the truth is how your healing begins. I'm going to say that again. Sometimes telling one person the truth is how healing begins. Okay, and listen. If you want, message me with a part of your story you're learning to own. I'd love to hear it. You can find me on social media Facebook, instagram, linkedin, tiktok. I think there's a link on here where you can send a message or email me drdavidadouglas at gmailcom. Drdavidadouglas at gmailcom. Message me with a part of your story you're learning to own. I absolutely would love to hear it, absolutely so.
Speaker 1:If any part of today hit home with you, share this episode with someone who's been carrying their story in silence. If you know someone that has a powerful story, share this episode with them, would you? Because I talk about this for people in recovery. The more of us that speak loudly about the power of our life in recovery, the more lives we can change, because we hear about the damage all the time. Let's hear about the power of change, and you do that through sharing your story. Last thing and I hope everyone has a good rest of your day wherever you're listening to this from the truth you're scared to tell might be the exact thing someone else needs to hear. Love Tal.