Deep Dive with Dr D
Discussions on life and living with Dr D. A man who has risen from the lowest depths of life to the amazing life he has now.
Deep Dive with Dr D
The Comeback Starts in Silence
Ever notice how we celebrate the triumphant comeback moments but rarely acknowledge the silent struggles that made them possible? This raw, powerful exploration reveals the hidden truth behind every transformation story - the comeback is built in the dark.
When you're halfway through the marathon with no cheering crowd, when you're studying alone while others socialize, when you're maintaining sobriety one quiet day at a time - that's where the real work happens. We unpack why these invisible moments matter more than the spotlight ever will. Growth happens in silence before becoming undeniable to everyone else.
The frustration of feeling stuck while doing everything right isn't a sign you're failing - it's evidence you're in the crucial building phase. Those dark periods aren't punishment; they're preparation. Through personal stories of transformation from GED to doctorate and 18 years of recovery, we explore how ordinary consistency creates extraordinary results. You'll discover practical strategies to maintain momentum when motivation fades, including morning routines, positive affirmations, and reframing your perspective on the quiet work.
Whether you're rebuilding your life, pursuing education, or changing negative behaviors to positive ones, this message offers profound encouragement: You're not behind, you're being built. The comeback isn't loud at first - it starts in the dark, and that's precisely where your true power is born. Are you willing to embrace the silence required for transformation? Your future self is counting on it.
Hi everyone, welcome to the show Title of this one the Comeback is Built in the Dark. Yeah, the real work happens when nobody's watching. Your goals are achieved by repeating habits on a daily basis when no one's cheering you on. It's not when you're in a marathon and you get close to that finish line and you have friends or family members holding the sign. The work and the trudging is when you're halfway through and nobody's there. This is true for all of your goals, right, the spotlight doesn't make the comeback, the shadows do. Transformation happens in the quiet, unglamorous moments when no one's clapping and and this is a tough one this is where a lot of people quit. Nothing feels certain. I see this with people. I hear people talk about this and I even did it myself. Here's a quote Everyone wants the comeback. No one wants the silence it takes to build it.
Speaker 1:I used to sit on a porch just off of 6th and Sprague in Tacoma, washington, in my mid-20s and I'd sit out there during rush hour. When I had no job, I had no goals, I had no motivation to do much. Superpower. When I had no job, I had no goals, I had no motivation to do much and I used to be jealous and envious of those who were doing the work in silence, who were going to work on a daily basis wherever they were going to achieve their goals, doing that work in silence. I wasn't willing to do that. A lot of people aren't, because sometimes, what do we want? We want it now. Well, most really good things in life takes time, effort. You have to keep the momentum going and that's really hard, right? Rebuilding happens in private, before anyone notices. So here's a question to ponder for yourself have you ever felt like you were doing the right things but still invisible? Did you feel like God? I feel like I'm doing the right things but I'm not getting anything out of this. It's going to take time. It's going to take consistent effort before you get to that goal, before you get to where you want to go. The trudging is where the magic happens, right, because it's no magic to achieving your goals, to finding a life in recovery, changing negative behavior to positive behavior. Friends, there's no magic to it. I always say this I'm not the smartest guy in the room. You know why I'm sitting here with 18 years of recovery, why I'm sitting here, having gone from GED to Dr D. Sometimes I'm like I don't know how that happened. No, I know how it happened.
Speaker 1:I put in the work Right. I did the work in silence. I remember working toward my doctorate, just like, oh my gosh, a lot of that work was done in silence. I remember working toward my doctorate. It's like, oh my gosh, a lot of that work was done in silence, me and a computer and doing writing right, recovery, early recovery.
Speaker 1:It takes keep showing up, keep doing the work. That's the work. That's what happens when you so if you feel like you were doing, you're doing the right things, probably are you're. Just sometimes we what do we expect to be, you know have be able to walk across the stage and have someone cheer us on, which that's nice. I want you to have people in your life that are championing you, but the work doesn't. You don't get that when you're doing the work.
Speaker 1:See, growth is invisible before it's undeniable. I'm going to say that again Growth is invisible before it's undeniable. The work that you need to do to get to where you want to go. You're not going to get a lot of cheering on for that. Finishing an assignment, finishing, finishing a module, finishing a quarter, like, I hope you give yourself a pat on the back. But probably all you're gonna need to do from other people is are you registered for the next quarter? Are you going to the next step? If you're learning a trade or if you're in recovery, right, you get and they do this in recovery, which I think is good every month some. You get a, you get a chip, you get a coin and that gives you momentum, right, but that in between time, not every day, the first 30 days, but then it's every month and then after that it's every year, right, so from year to year you're not getting a lot of cheering on. Then that's that growth that is invisible before it's undeniable, like, yeah, I did that. You look back and you go, oh my gosh, all that stuff that I did in the in-between time, wow, but that's that invisible work.
Speaker 1:The dark isn't punishment when you feel alone and in isolation working toward a goal. That dark isn't punishment, it's preparation. How do we get grit? By going through the trudging, by working, by doing what we need to do to get to where we want to go. That's not fun, right, it's not like yay, but that dark, it isn't punishment, friends, it is preparation. Punishment, friends, it is preparation.
Speaker 1:The quiet places are where character gets tested and refined. When you create positive, healthy habits, when you create systems in your life that get you to work toward that goal. Whatever it is right, getting up every day and going to the gym if exercise is your thing, changing your eating habits every day. Right, when you're at home and no one's there and you're making positive, healthy choices. That's the quiet work and that's the preparation for that long-term goal of whatever it is you're working for. Have practices in your repertoire that help keep you moving forward.
Speaker 1:Okay, for me, my morning routine is critical. For me, I do it every day. And what does that mean? I get up about the same time every day. I open all the blinds and the curtains, I get a little cup of coffee, I put some clothes on and I go on the morning walk every day. That's my grounding to get my day started every day. And I get up and I go to bed at about the same time, seven days a week. Right, that's part of that prepping me to do the work I need to do in each day to get to where I want to go. For you, it may be prayer or journaling.
Speaker 1:Reflection is good, right, volunteering can be really helpful. So keep those things in mind. Growth is invisible before it's undeniable. And listen, wherever you're at in your life, if you have a goal you want to work for, if you want to find a life in recovery, if you want to go from negative behavior to positive behavior, you're not behind, you're being built.
Speaker 1:I say this when I give lectures on this topic. I'll look around the room and I'll find the youngest person in the room and the oldest person in the room. I'll be like I don't care if you're young or old, that doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is for you to realize that you woke up today and you have an opportunity. You have an opportunity to do work in each day to make your tomorrows better. Leave your past in the past, friends. Do the work you need to do to heal from it, but then leave it in the past. Have forward positive momentum. Positive momentum forward. I can put those words together right. Keep that in mind.
Speaker 1:Don't confuse that quiet work that you do, whether you go to the gym every day, whether you're changing your eating habits or you're early in recovery. Don't confuse invisibility, when you feel alone, with irrelevance. The work you're doing on a daily basis toward that goal is very relevant. The work you're doing on a daily basis toward that goal is very relevant. Remember what I said Growth is invisible before it's undeniable. Reframe the dark, the quiet, the work periods as sacred. Even seeds grow in silence.
Speaker 1:As I get to closing this one up, I want you to consider what's stopping you from working toward a goal. I want you to sit with that discomfort and try to figure out, without numbing out, why is it? I don't want to do that quiet work to get to where I want to go, to change negative behavior to positive behavior, to finding a life and recovery right. Sit with that discomfort and identify it. Have someone help you and you can journal, you can go to a counselor right. But just really try to tap into the what is it? Because, listen here, here you go. This is encouragement for you.
Speaker 1:I'm not the smartest guy in the room. If you look at me and you look at my life and you're like, wow, look at, he's got a great marriage and he's got a great career and he's got long time in recovery and he's a dad, and he, I'm not the smartest guy in the room, I'm not. I'm just like you. I'm just the average human being living on this planet, trying to figure it out. Here's what I have. I'm just the average human being living on this planet trying to figure it out. Here's what I have. I've had a willingness. I've had a willingness to learn, to take in new information, to develop healthy habits, to do that quiet work that I'm challenging you to do for yourself so that you can improve your life.
Speaker 1:Keep showing up Again. Keep showing up for the habits that no one sees, that quiet work that you need to do on a daily basis, in whatever arena you're working on. Keep showing up and believe that who you're becoming is worth the wait. Yeah, make a positive affirmation. Positive affirmations are written as if it's already happened. You can Google this, right how to write a positive affirmation and stick it on your bathroom mirror where you'll see it every day. That'll work its own brain trick on you, right? Keep doing the work. Believe that whatever you're working for is worth the wait. And I'm going to close with this. The comeback isn't loud at first. It starts in the dark, and that's where your power is born.