Deep Dive with Dr D
Discussions on life and living with Dr D. A man who has risen from the lowest depths of life to the amazing life he has now.
Deep Dive with Dr D
How a Fourth-Generation Farmer lives Recovery (w/guest Andy Rosbach)
Standing at the intersection of farming and recovery, Andy Rosbach embodies quiet resilience. As a fourth-generation hay farmer tending the same Ellensburg land his Danish great-grandfather claimed in 1894, Andy's roots run deeper than most. But beneath this rich agricultural heritage lies a powerful recovery story that transformed not just his life, but his relationship with the land itself.
"When I'm using, that's all I'm thinking about. I cannot do anything else," Andy reflects, describing his journey to 17 years clean after battling addiction that once threatened everything. His candid account reveals how recovery principles revolutionized his approach to farming's inherent challenges – from unpredictable weather to economic pressures. Where once he might have fixated on problems, he now cultivates gratitude: "I try to live my life 90% grateful and 10% worried about the problems."
The conversation weaves through varied territory as Andy describes how motorcycling became therapeutic meditation. "There's something about being on the bike that quiets the brain," he explains. "I was trying to do with drugs what riding now does without the negative side effects." These rides – often shared with friends in recovery – create a unique brotherhood that transcends words. The parallel between the freedom of the open road and the liberation of recovery becomes beautifully apparent.
Perhaps most inspiring is Andy's message for those still struggling: whatever you think impossible is likely within reach. "If you're miserable in your life and say 'I'm done with this' and start today, a year from now you can be somewhere completely different." This wisdom extends beyond addiction to anyone seeking meaningful change. The key lies in developing a plan, doing the work, and persisting through setbacks – a farming philosophy that translates perfectly to personal growth.
Join us for this authentic conversation about heritage, healing, and how recovery principles can transform even the most challenging aspects of life. Whether you're facing your own struggles or simply curious about how different worlds intersect, Andy's story offers practical wisdom cultivated from both the soil and the soul.
Yeah, so we will get started. Good morning everyone. We got a little rain this morning in Allensburg and I always do this is kind of a dad thing I always do now in Allensburg. You know what I love about rain in Allensburg it stops. It's already stopped, so yeah. So welcome to Deep Dive with Dr D.
Speaker 1:I always do my quick shameless plug for my book. If you haven't read it yet, it's out there. You can get it wherever you buy books Locally in Ellensburg, at Gerald's Pearl Street Books, in fact, at Gerald's there are two copies left of the original version. So if one day I got famous, you'd have something really cool like whoopee. So if one day I got famous, you'd have something really cool like Whoopi. And then online, amazoncom, you can get it as an e-book wherever you read e-books, and then Audible has yours truly narrated. So there you go, shameless plug for my book.
Speaker 1:I always say I'm excited for this one. I'm excited for every guest I have, but much like Corey who I had last week. You know, one of my best friends in the world. He's squarely. It's funny when I say what I'm about to. He's squarely in my circle of influence. But Andy, someone you know, we don't talk every day, but we, you know, we cheer, we trade our quotes of the day. If you see my quotes of the day, andy does that. We send each other that and then we'll text here and there Um, he is someone. If I'm struggling with life, he's a male that I'll reach out to. Um, and we've known each other 15 years.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, some somewhere in there a long time and um, uh, I'm going to let him introduce himself. But I was thinking about you this morning. You know you, you have a way about you that you're like, you're easy to talk to. Like you and me work in completely different worlds. I actually looked up some professor farmer jokes. Like you know, I'm a college professor and this is farmer Andy. But in the entire time I've known you, you you're one of the coolest humans I know and I watch you in the world right, like how you are with people and you you have a. You bring people in in a way that's really really cool. So I appreciate that about you. So introduce yourself to the world out there. This goes on YouTube, it goes on my podcast channel, so a lot of our friends are watching over here. But for those that don't know, you give a Reader's Digest bio of Andy Ross back, okay. Well, I don't know if I'll a Reader's Digest bio of Andy Rosbach, okay.
Speaker 2:Well, I don't know if I'll do as well as you did, it's okay. It's all right. My name's Andy Rosbach. I live in Ellensburg, washington. I'm a fourth-generation hay farmer. My family's been doing that since 1894. I'm a person yeah, a long time I'm a recovering addict. I'm a person yeah, a long time. I'm a recovering addict. I was 17 years clean. I'd say those are the two probably biggest things that I do with my day-to-day life. I'm also a father to two and a husband to one.
Speaker 1:Well, that's good Husband to one. That's probably're all. They're all very independent. I should have told you shift your chair a little, so we're kind of facing each other. You're still in the frame now. That's perfect.
Speaker 2:There we go yeah, so, uh, yeah, they're all pretty independent and need yeah, occasionally need a rider a few bucks, but not too often so and one of them's driving them yes, uh, ruby's 20, so she's, oh, she's been driving, she's been driving. Yeah, the other one, uh, lila's getting close close okay, so she'll be 15 in february, wow so um yeah, I think I mean, that's kind of me in a nutshell, um, you know fourth generation farmer yeah, 1894 yes, my great-grandfather was on a.
Speaker 2:He, you know, came to america from, uh, denmark and was on his way to seattle to be a logger, I think okay, the story I've heard and the train stopped in ellensburg and he got off and never got back on. Wow, and so that's kind of how it started, okay, um, and then it's, you know, just continued on that's another story of what my belief about ellensburg is.
Speaker 1:It's kind of like the song hotel california you can come, but you can never leave. It's hard to leave.
Speaker 2:I left for a bit uh yeah, I lived in portland, um, for about six years and uh, I mean, I liked, were you married? Then weren't married, but we were together. So, you and Christina, chris and I have been married for I don't want to blow this 21 years, don't screw this up, but we've been together for 31 years as a couple. So, yeah, we lived down there and I liked the anonymity of living in the city and being and being able you know a lot of stuff to do. But uh, man, as soon as I came back to ellensburg, that was it, yeah I love going home to visit.
Speaker 1:You know I'm from tacoma. We just went there for an overnight. I love going to visit and then, because we have our friend from atlanta visiting first time, I say as soon as you crest that hill and you start dropping down over the pass, it's like yeah it is, yeah, it is.
Speaker 2:So we, you know, go back and visit too, and I I like to be there for a few days.
Speaker 1:Yeah, in portland and yeah so you lived in portland for a little bit um the I. We probably talked about this. So farming you're a farmer now, right? Yeah, that's your life. I love having conversations with you about that world and how all those things work. Um. Have you always farmed in ellensburg or have you had other jobs here?
Speaker 2:um let's see what. In ellensburg, for the most part, I've always farmed, okay, uh, you know, from the time I was 11 and that was kind of my mom just telling my dad to get him out of the house and burn some energy off.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I wasn't much help back then but, uh, but for, yeah, for the most part, I think I. You know, I've had a few jobs. Um, you know, winter jobs, cause there's not a lot to do on the farm in the winter, sure, right, um, but not. You know, I worked at the John Deere dealership a couple winters, okay, and worked at a car wash for a bit and stuff like that, but for the most part it's been farming. When I lived in the city I had other jobs, obviously, but bricklaying and stuff like that, yeah, farming's been. Yeah, farming, farming's kind of a thing. Farming's a thing that jumps me out of bed in the morning. Uh, you know, the other stuff, the other jobs I always had was like I can't believe I have to go to work, where now I'm like laying in bed thinking about I got to get going, you do, yeah, and then I get going.
Speaker 1:Um, I just had a thought. I just lost it. It'll come back. Um, I got to meet. It's been a few years ago when we had the foster boys. I got to bring them out to your parents' place and meet them and see their place. I've been to your house many times, oh yeah, so we kind of all have our little section.
Speaker 2:So we have. You know, my dad likes to count the money and do the books. Sure, sure, my brother's kind of on the growing side of it and I'm more on the selling side of it. Okay, you know, I mean, obviously we all, we talk about it all and have our input on everything. How far does your brother live from you? He lives just around the corner. So when you come to my house he's the second to the last house on Joseph before you turn on to.
Speaker 1:Denver.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:And your parents live right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're all pretty much on the farm.
Speaker 1:You've lived in that awkward land for how long Since 1894?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so where my dad and my brother live, that's always been part of the farm where I live. I think we bought that in the 80s, wow, so that's cool, yeah, cool so we ride together.
Speaker 1:Yep, professor, farmer, we love our motorcycles, right? Yeah, I always say, when I have my biker gear on, I'm really, really tough.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're so tough.
Speaker 1:Seen him. When was the first time you rode a motorcycle Outside of the farm? I'm guessing maybe on the farm you did it, because I see a lot of guys.
Speaker 2:Yeah, four-wheelers, and now it's kind of side-by-sides On the street. Yeah, I'm trying to think if I had dirt bikes when I was in high school and stuff, and then I, um, I really I think the first time I rode a bike on the street that you know wasn't a dirt bike yeah, work right, just for pleasure. The harley I bought at five years, clean oh yeah, was that the one you sold to aaron?
Speaker 1:yes, the black one, that was a nice bike it was. Yeah, was that the one you sold to Aaron? Yes, the black one, that was a nice bike.
Speaker 2:It was yeah, yeah, so that was okay. That was really my first uh street bike and riding, so you were 40, 30. Yeah, 41,.
Speaker 1:I think 41. Okay, all right. Yeah, so uh, and did you always have a longing to want to do that, or did addiction get in the way, or how did that?
Speaker 2:You know, the thing for me in addiction is I couldn't see past that.
Speaker 1:So I really had no aspirations, goals or anything, it was just trying to get to my need, but you got into recovery and then it's like I want to bike.
Speaker 2:And you see, you know it's pretty popular in recovery, people get bikes and want to ride. So popular in recovery, people get bikes and want to ride and um, so that it was appealing, uh, and then, once I got it and rode, then it was over. Yeah, you know, that's only. It only took a couple times and I knew, yeah, I had just inherited an expensive hobby yeah, and I I want to share.
Speaker 1:You know I'm going to toot your horn because you're probably also one of the most humble guys I know is. I love writing, um, but I'm really picky about who I ride with, and I think you are too. You know like and and hey, whatever a guy wants to do, that's fine, but you know the the idea of poker runs, going from bar to bar to bar and drinking and then getting on your bike it's like baffling to me, so I'm not into that. But like, if that's your thing, you go ahead. But so I like riding with people who know how to ride. Aren't idiots and blah, blah, blah. And you've always been someone like if you're in my mirror, I'm good. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that's, it's important. Um, I, you know I try to stay a little bit. Um, I'm not doing poker runs either. I'm not a fan of that. Occasionally I ride with people who aren't in recovery or whatever, just because it's fun, and that's always good. I feel like a lot of times and I'm sure you get this too where people know you as a person in recovery, whether it's on stuff like this or around town and they want to be near that, for whatever reason.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, it's attractive. Yeah, just being who you are attracts people to that way of life, whether it's they have an issue with it or they know somebody who's an issue with it. Yeah, the uh, everybody has somebody in their life that can't stop using yeah, and so, uh, when people meet somebody who has, it's healing, yeah, no, that's cool. So I try to keep those doors open. But, uh, yeah, my favorite is, you know, riding with you and your son, uh, or the, the crowd that we ride with. Yeah, um, when we do the, the group rides and stuff, that's the best and we fucking miss ryan yeah, for sure, and and that was one of the things that, uh, we had talked about.
Speaker 2:You know, at the early stages of recovery, we, when we were hanging out and driving to meetings and stuff, yeah, talking about how cool it would be to have harleys and ride side by side, and then and then it happened, it didn't happen. So yeah, it was cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I had a moment. Him and I were in town on Main Street, and we had just left the pawn shop. I think we were in there looking at guns or something probably.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And we got out and he had just gotten his bike. It wasn't too long. And it wasn't long after I had gotten Ruby my bike. Yeah, and we're sitting on Main Street right at Capitol in Maine. He looks at me and I look at him and he looks at me and says not a bad life is it Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he was definitely one of the people that really appreciated the things he got. Yeah, because I think he never thought he'd get them. Yeah, yeah, I agree, I try to surround myself with people like that too, that appreciate the life they have. Yeah, you know that's pretty important. So Dad, two kids.
Speaker 1:Ruby's 20.
Speaker 2:Ruby's 20.
Speaker 1:How old is your other daughter, lila is?
Speaker 2:14. 14. She'll be 15 in February. Feeling old yeah. You know I know right, it's crazy. Pretty much it's crazy, I'm trying to think. Most of the people that I hang out with, with the exception of you, are quite a bit younger than me. So I feel old all the time, you know, yeah, at least 10 years younger. Well, just hang out with me.
Speaker 1:I'm worried you'll feel younger Because you know Anthony's going to be 15 and going to driver's. Ed, my grandson, that's pretty crazy, that's wild. Yeah, tyler's 35. Yeah, he's an old man, he is an old man, yeah, cool. Well, let's do a question. I think, okay, this will uh steer us in some direction. Uh, here we go as a fourth generation farmer, which is just wild. That's super cool. You carry a deep legacy, like that's a lot of history, yeah, so how has recovery shaped the way you approach both the land and your family's tradition?
Speaker 2:okay, so, uh, I guess I would say what recovery has done for that stuff is, uh, has helped me appreciate it more. Um, the thing the thing farming is a tough job, Um, and it gets well. It gets tech technology wise. It gets easier every year because they come out with new fancy stuff and GPS trackers and yeah.
Speaker 2:GPS trackers and stuff like that. But the um, the economy and how that fits in, get seems to get harder all the time. So it's really easy to focus on the problems. If I had hay down at rain, I just lost a bunch of money, you know. So you're constantly watching the weather and you know this is going on and that's going on and political stuff and uh, it's easy, it's it's easy to get sucked into that. So recovery um has taught me to look for the things to be grateful for. So I think that would probably be. I'm not saying, you know, the three of us my dad, my brother and I don't sit around and complain about stuff, don't we all? Yeah, sometimes you got to let that out, but I try to live my life grateful that I have the opportunity to Like I want to be 90% grateful and 10% worried about the problems where I think left to my own devices. I'm more the other way 90% worried about the problems and 10% grateful, and it's hard to be happy like that, no matter how good you got it.
Speaker 1:So let's just a couple of things I think about you, probably more than I should. Let me say why. Anytime the weather shifts, yeah, I'm, I'll, sometimes I'll text you like, oh, how's, how's this, how is this or how's this gonna affect you, like it's kind of it's fascinating to me. I like to learn about a variety of things. So, yeah, what do you do with the stress? Because, cause you, you do have stress. Farming is a stressful life. What do you do with it?
Speaker 2:Well, I think, um, I will say this, like taking my recovery attitudes and uh principles to work was probably the last place that you know I took it, so the stress can be a lot and there, you know, there are still times where I wake up three in the morning trying to figure out how all this is going to work right, but for the most part, um, I would say, uh, I I try not to focus too much on it. I feel like if I'm doing what I'm supposed to do, everything's going to work out day right yeah, and definitely a day at a time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, uh, for sure. But I feel like if I do what I'm supposed to do, everything's going to be okay. So let's just not worry about it. You know, and most problems I've seen that, uh, you know you wake up with. If you just go to work and do your thing, by the end of the day they're at least better. Maybe they haven't gone away completely, but sometimes they do that too. So I really try to keep my focus on you know. Just put one foot in front of the other, keep moving and you make some progress, and by the next Monday it's not even a problem anymore.
Speaker 1:A lot of times, yeah, and there's that saying of those things that we worry about today, we're not even going to know what we're worrying about a year from now, exactly right, that's, it's a, it's a saying in farming, and 100 years from now, nobody's going to care.
Speaker 2:I mean, whatever my great-grandfather was worried about. Yeah, on september 21st yeah doesn't exist anymore. So was it that big a deal? So you're into season, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've got to plant some wheat coming up this week and then we're running water for a couple more weeks.
Speaker 1:I saw they just shut the last one off.
Speaker 2:No, so the KRD has been off since October. They're a junior district and the Cascade will run until the end of September, got it? And then Ellensburg water company will run till probably the middle of october. So you have three three sources of water.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, and I'm gonna wake a wild guess that you have senior, senior water rights some so where our farm is located.
Speaker 2:It's senior water rights and we have some creek rights and some of them are signed by ulysses grant, so they're pretty old. Wow, um, do you have those documents? Yeah, what, yeah, oh wow that's super cool yeah pretty cool and then, but really like it's the I don't know the exact year where it went from senior to junior, but they were in the 1890s as well. The junior are oh, I see what you're saying, so they're not. Yeah it, it happened a long, long time ago.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, but yeah, that's, that's pretty cool yeah okay, all right, let's see what we got here. Oh yeah, that's so good. Your husband, father and mentor to many, yeah, that's just a fact. How has sobriety influenced the way you show up in those roles? Okay?
Speaker 2:Well, again, I think it's a work in progress. Let's do this.
Speaker 1:What was it like? Free sobriety?
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, great. Like I said before, chris and I have been together for 31 years and I've been clean for 17. Yep, I had a period of 11 years there too, and a relapse in between the 11 and the 17.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, I probably knew this, but okay, yeah, so there was a couple years where it fell apart.
Speaker 2:So when we first met I was a mess, okay, and she was less of a mess, but she was less of a mess but you know, it's kind of in the party scene in college and it kind of seemed to work, uh. And then she grew up and I didn't, okay, and so it was rough for a bit uh. And then I got clean in, uh, 1996, uh, and was clean, like I say, for 11 years, um and uh, so in there, like somewhere in there, we got married. Like she wanted to wait and see if it was gonna work.
Speaker 2:And then we got married. Five minutes later I fell off the wagon, god, or it seemed like that. Yes, sure, sure, uh, and then it took me a few years to get back to it. So, uh it, you know, like I said earlier, when I'm using drugs, alcohol, whatever, any mood or mind-altering substance, that's all I'm thinking about and I cannot do anything else. I'm powerless over, yeah, doing anything other than making sure that happens. That's the focus. Yeah, staying loaded in some form or fashion.
Speaker 2:So that was terrible. I was unemployable. There's language in the corporation paperwork that you have to be clean to work there. That's, you know, some of it's, a lot of it's in there because of me and the issues that I've had, which I support. And you know, as a father, I couldn't imagine how I would even do any of that loaded, which I support. And, uh, you know, as a father, I couldn't imagine, um, how it would even do any of that loaded. So, um, obviously, stopping the use of all that stuff fixed a lot of those problems automatically. I still have some issues. Um, you know the defects of character that I have. That that, um, you know, I try to work on. So it's, it's work in progress.
Speaker 2:Um, I think what I want to be is somebody who's um, supportive to everyone and, whatever their choices are, um, for the most part, um, so they can be who they are.
Speaker 2:Because I think what recovery has really given me, if anything, is a clear picture who I am not who I think I am or who you think I am, but who I really am. And then, once I knew that, then I can be that. I could be that here, I can be that at work, I can be that, um, you know, and and the mentor thing, I guess for that, for the most part I sponsor a lot of different guys in the 12-step fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous and of all different backgrounds and variety of lifestyles and different things. But the thing with that is addiction connects us. Anybody that would give up everything just to get high one more time is my kind of people. Like, I understand that way of thinking so that, um, honestly, those relationships are more beneficial to me than they are to them. Um, as I'm sure you probably know, like helping somebody else see themselves for who they are is pretty powerful stuff.
Speaker 1:So and fulfilling right yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 2:There's nothing better than seeing somebody come in in the grips of addiction and then turn into a productive member of society that can also help somebody else like nobody can help somebody out of that better than somebody who's been there. So that that's. You know.
Speaker 1:That's my favorite for sure I'm gonna be justin's scheduled to come on and awesome. I'm super excited because I just thought of him like yeah, I remember the first time I met him yeah he walked in the kcrco, you know, and just seeing his trajectory when, yeah we get to witness that, even not even being a part of it, but seeing it. But then when you get to have some small part in that, yeah, and then see the, the transformation, like that's, that's powerful stuff. So powerful.
Speaker 1:He's one the other thing I want to say on this for anyone listening or watching is the other thing that I always really appreciate, appreciated about you, because personally I was highly involved in 12-step programs along the way. You know, did all the things. I was a sponsor, sponsor did the 12 steps. You know, locally I was involved in Alcoholics Anonymous and it's a valuable program. Personally now it's just not my thing. It's not my shtick. I'll go to a meeting here and there.
Speaker 1:The one thing that I've always appreciated about you and I know you don't just do this with me is that you're just you. You're not like the religious person always pushing their thing. It's like that's really off-putting. It actually makes it more attractive when someone is like you and just does your thing. And it brings me to this Sometimes the best thing we can do to help someone is what? Yeah, just do our thing, right, right, just like you said earlier, like with bikes, riders or whatever. Some people see and they get a feel for what your life is in recovery and they kind of want to hang out with you. They want to see what it is, and you've always been open in that way. Yeah, been open in that way. Yeah, like never. You know like we call in a Bible book or book for a book thumpers right, like and that if that's your thing, that's great, but that's a really cool thing about you yeah and that's.
Speaker 1:I've always appreciated that and I'm just guessing that others have too, and maybe has made them more open to coming into an AM or writing involved or whatever it is. So, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I've always felt that, for me personally, the people that chase me around to try to get me clean just made me run away more. Yeah, um, also there's uh. There's a saying in the uh narcotics anonymous literature that's like what do you want to do about your problem and how? How can I help? So I want to be there to help whoever I can help, but it's really like the only person that got you clean sober, whatever was you, same with me. You know, if you're not participating, nothing I say or do is going to make any difference.
Speaker 1:The thing I'll say to that, because I hear what you're saying, like I just did a quick writing about my little journeys when I go to Tacoma but like, certainly I've had to do the work. Like at some level I had to say, yeah, I guess I'll give this a try. But I think there's also something to you being who you are and others who do that same thing, who present avenues of recovery in a way that is there's a saying and I think it's AA, one of the two attraction rather than promotion.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely, yeah, absolutely, you know I think there's really something to that.
Speaker 1:Like you said, like if someone's like I'll tell families, like some oh man, I field calls and it's not always moms, I've actually had dads, but you know the mom or the dad who's like just trying to pull their kid in, I'm like you know, sometimes the best thing you can do is step back. Yeah, and what? Just model recovery, Right, Just show them there's a different way, yeah. And then the second that they say oh yeah, I'll give this a try, and then go okay, let's go oh yeah, I'll give this a try and then go, okay, let's go right, right, right, does that make sense?
Speaker 2:yeah, absolutely, yeah, yeah, I definitely. You know there's a there's a pretty uh tried and true laid out program that I follow. That's how I stay clean, how I got clean, how I stay clean, um that you know millions of people also do yep, so that, but I, yeah, I'm not really I'm not trying to, because there's all kinds of ways to get clean, sober, whatever you want to call it. There's a whole bunch of stuff.
Speaker 1:A whole bunch of words we can use too, right? So, however, whatever works for you, I'm for, and if someone can improve their life, yeah. And if I can have some part of that, let's go. Yeah, absolutely yeah.
Speaker 2:So I think that, um, yeah, it's important to stay open-minded to that stuff. Um, I just know for me, like I tried a lot of different things and um what I'm doing now seems to work pretty well, yeah, um, and so I'm pretty happy with it.
Speaker 1:Well, you, you are for sure and I don't know if. If did you know that I was in recovery for ten and a half years and returned to use and then now have just a little bit more time than you? I think I did know that. I had no idea that we have very similar paths. That's really interesting.
Speaker 2:I think that's the thing is that addiction is running the show. So, and I have friends, I sponsor a guy in Sweden. I have friends in Southern California that you know, that live in Compton and stuff like that. Some of the details are different but the path of addiction is the same for everybody. It's really close to the same. So you know, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:All right. So let's talk about writing you and I share that love for writing, yeah, yeah, all right. So let's talk about writing you and I share that love for writing. Yeah, very different people in our professions, um, but man, when we get on our bikes, we share that same love for motorcycles. Yeah, what does writing mean to you in terms of freedom, brotherhood and or even recovery? I?
Speaker 2:think, um, like I said, it was something I didn't know I loved until I tried it. Uh, it was just, it was appealing seeing other people do it and it was kind of a goal I set. Uh, but since I have started doing it, um, it definitely. Um, it's hard to explain cause you're we ride together, we're not talking or you know cause you're on your own bike, so there's none of that going on, but there is something that connects you to the person that you're riding with and some of the stuff that we do the group rides for Ryan and stuff where there's a whole bunch of us riding and there's a purpose behind it. You don't get that in a car.
Speaker 1:It just doesn't work in a car so that stuff's really cool.
Speaker 2:Um, like I said, I think for me, um, when I just go for a ride by myself, there's something about being on the bike and riding that quiets the brain. Yeah, all the chatter, you know, trying to figure out stuff, and you know I have one of those brains that doesn't shut off all the time, uh, and so it's one of those things that I found in recovery that that has an effect, like I was trying to do with the drugs, you know, shut the brain off for a little bit, and this um also works, but it doesn't have the side effects, the negative side effects, yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, unless I'm speeding, which I've done a couple times. Speed limit adjacent Nice. It was kind of in the field of speed limit.
Speaker 1:The front number wasn't the same, maybe. Anyway, yeah, I'm with you. You're right, it's. It's kind of one of those things unless it's kind of like recovery in some ways, or having lived a life in active addiction, if you haven't done it it's hard to really explain it.
Speaker 2:In some ways it is. It is. It's hard to say and I don't even know if I could put it into words, but I know, you know, when you hit the road and you're riding through the canyon or something like that, you feel it yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, I kind of call it, uh, my meditation, and some, yes, my therapy, yeah, like I think it's in here, but and I've been to lots of counseling, so this isn't a hit on going to counseling but you never find a motorcycle parked in front of a psychiatrist office and that's actually a lie, I mean, cause you can but right, but it's kind of it's its own form of therapy, it is for sure, and I think you would get that answer from a lot of people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you said something else. You set a goal right that I want to get a bike. You found a life in recovery, and so you met that goal, and now you get to enjoy the benefits of achieving that goal Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's definitely one of those things where you know it didn't seem real attainable when I set the goal, yeah, but you know, you just put one foot in front of the other.
Speaker 1:Anyone else in your family ride?
Speaker 2:No, okay, no, yeah, no, that was just a me. Thing. Girls have an interest.
Speaker 1:No, has Chris ever rode? No, okay, katrina, not often she's got her gear.
Speaker 2:But yeah, okay. No, it was just kind of one of those things that uh chris is real into like hiking this and kayaking that. Sure I got bad knees so it's not now he does that with her friends, and I ride motorcycle with my friends, I I know she'll listen to it.
Speaker 1:I your your wife is awesome wife is awesome she's.
Speaker 2:she's another good human.
Speaker 1:You know we've been to a couple of concerts together. Now I've been to your house and you've had your house full of people and she's always welcoming and accommodating and also very real and, um you, you have a good one there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, Super patient. Like I said, We've been through a lot of stuff in the last 31 years and people always say like, oh, you're calm, and this and that Not at home. I'm not so like she listens to that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1:We have a lot of similarities. What are you talking?
Speaker 2:about. Like you know, he never shuts up, yeah.
Speaker 1:We were on the west side of the store and they had this kitchen towel and it says on it Let me see if I can get it right. It says the next time you're laughing at your wife's choices, remember she chose you, yeah.
Speaker 1:And that's like yep, that's, that's my girl, yeah, for sure and I always say I'm the high maintenance one in this relationship. Yeah, me too, because, kind of like you, you know I, I can get, I can get up there with my stress and my worry and, um, she, she gets me, yeah, she gets me in a way and you know, yeah, so cool. Yeah, okay, here we go, we're getting toward the end. Okay, how you feeling? I'm feeling good. Yeah, you, yeah, I knew it would be.
Speaker 1:We talked like this a lot yeah this is normal, yeah, doing it with a mic and a camera, right, no big deal, all right. So, uh, last question, and then you get to ask me a question If you thought of one or two. If someone is listening, this is your opportunity. The bully pulpit, you have the fucking mic, dude. Yeah, it's going to be your opportunity. If someone is listening and struggling, what's a piece of hope you want to offer them?
Speaker 2:I thought about this one some, and I think it's a tough one to say right, but I guess what I would want to say is that whatever you are thinking you can't do, you probably can. People don't realize that it really. Just you need a plan. Uh, there's a football coach that said, like the um, what an idea without a plan is a wish? Yeah, you know, uh, and I love that, like, you got to have a plan on how you're going to get there and you're going to have to do some work. But, uh, and I think you know, watching the stuff that you do in life, if you just decide, hey, I want to have a podcast and this is how I'm going to get there, and you start do the steps to get a podcast and you have a podcast, yeah, or whatever it is you know.
Speaker 2:So that's what I think whether it's getting clean, or getting the job you want, or, um, or, you know, handling the job you already have better, like, all that stuff is attainable and there's information out there that you could pick up and use and do Um. So, yeah, I think I think that would be the biggest thing is that people sell themselves short, myself included. Uh, a lot Um or they just don't.
Speaker 1:What about them? You're 50, lot, yeah, um, or they just don't. What about them? You're 50, you're 50 now 52, 50, jesus, old man, yeah, 52, 58, right. What would you say to a man in his 40s who's like just can't get his shit together?
Speaker 2:well, I don't think the age matters. You know, I got clean, uh, in when I was 36, and it has gotten progressively better every year that I've stayed clean and done the things that I do. I'm not always the first to dive into stuff, so I've picked up stuff as I go. My circle of influence, like you talk about, has gotten bigger and I you know there's different I get input from all different kinds of places where when I got here I wasn't listening to anybody, and now I listen to all kinds of people, uh, and so you know it can change at any time. You know you can, uh, you can completely change your life, I think in a year if you, if you're miserable in your life, and you say, hey, I'm done with this, and you start today, a year from now you can be somewhere completely different.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, with whatever yeah.
Speaker 2:And then you know doing some work. Yeah, there's always a little bit of work involved.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but.
Speaker 2:I think really the work is the good stuff. You know it is. It's the little goals you set for yourself and accomplish. You start building some self-esteem and you start to see what you can do. And yeah, I think it changes pretty quick. That's been my experience with myself and people I've watched in life and recovery is they just keep doing the right thing every day and pretty soon you're somewhere else completely.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got right now. He just messaged me this morning. He's on a road trip to to canada. He loves going on road trips. He's got his camper on his truck and he just sent me a message. He says I got a week yeah I'm like great yeah so now do that again yeah do whatever you did. Yeah, and we keep track of that.
Speaker 1:Keep, keep the mileage going right, repeat those things yeah and it's what I think you you said this and it's one of my mantras is, but you said it in just a different way is I'm not the smartest fucking guy in the room. Yeah, like with the podcast, right, you fucking know how to do a podcast yeah, but you know what I'm willing to do. Figure it out. Yeah, right, ask for help.
Speaker 2:Yeah, google the shit right yeah, maybe you fail a little bit and you figure it out as you go. Yeah, and five years from now, this thing will be nationwide.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was watching at our airbnb, I was watching an uh, a documentary on this baseball player, the the oakland a's and the la dodgers in 88 when the the dodgers won the World Series. I'm pretty anyway, this one player. He ended up hitting the you know game-winning fucking home run and his oh yeah, his knee, yeah, kurt Gibson, yeah, yeah, dude, yeah, and you know what he said that was like fuck yeah so you know about this.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah yeah, I had no idea. Really cool right at the cool, right at the end. The reporters asked him. He says you know what they're like, how'd you do it? He's like I can't tell you how many failures I've had running up to this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you just keep fucking going.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you just keep fucking going.
Speaker 2:You're swinging the bat, yeah, you people in addiction, especially because you always lose. Addiction always wins, so you're used to just getting your butt kicked day in and day out and so they give up. Or you went to a couple meetings and it didn't work out, or you went to this or that this is stupid.
Speaker 2:I'm stuck where I'm at and you're not. You just didn't go to the right meeting or you didn't go to enough of them. Maybe it's this fellowship or that fellowship, yeah, whatever, you didn't go to the right meeting or you didn't go to enough of them or you didn't.
Speaker 1:Maybe it's this fellowship or that talk anyone?
Speaker 2:yeah, whatever, yeah yeah, you didn't connect with the right people, definitely the people that you're connected with.
Speaker 1:Uh, you know is important determine who you are and where you're going and I say to people like you know, the in early recovery, like, surround yourself, like I'm all about, like you too, like I want a wide pocket of people in my life today, but I think early recovery it's really important. Surround yourself with people in recovery, yeah, because that's fucking. That's a safety net, right? Yeah, that's what na is all about. A is all about support groups. Whatever you do, right, there's your church or your like treatment that you're surrounded, you have that safety net so that the 30, 60, 96, six months right, that period of time when when I remember I'm like, oh, I can't do this, no, you've got people that can help keep lifting you up yeah, absolutely, yeah, very important. Okay, what's a question you have for me?
Speaker 2:so I was thinking about this too, and what I see, you're a doer, you're one of those people that uh gets an idea and then does it. Uh, so it of all the things that you're have either been involved in or are involved in in this community, what do you? What fills your cup the most like? Where do you get the most bang for your buck?
Speaker 1:this has actually been on my mind lately and it really goes to my work on campus, you know, because I'm a college professor. But I do a lot of other work on campus and doing something like this and the work I do in the community is mentoring. Yeah, Like, really like, a student comes to Central. It happened. The student sent me a message that I had met over the summer. He's a freshman and I must have given him my number and he sent me a message, said hey, I'm on campus, let's meet. I want to take that and I want to build that relationship with that young man for the entire time he's here and beyond. Yeah, Like, that shit gets me excited.
Speaker 1:Like grandson Anthony, like mentoring him, like my role as a grandfather is different than a father. Right, it's a pretty cool role and it's got its own stress with it. But mentoring him, alaric, like I sent Alaric a message. My grandson, who's going to my meal ticket to retirement with his football skills Right, pretty talented, yeah, right, but I sent him a message because they ended up losing their game.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I'm like grandson, you know, given that tidbit of grandpa and mentorship, but yeah, being impactful in that way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like, fucking. I like, yeah, absolutely like my husband wouldn't mind me saying his name like he's changing his relationship with alcohol again and he's he's back at ellensburg. He was a former student, he went in the military, he did a good job, he got out. He's back. I'm so excited he's back. Yeah, becauseensburg. He was a former student, he went in the military, he did a good job, he got out. He's back. I'm so excited he's back. Yeah, because we get to build that friendship. This dude, you're like one of my favorite fucking humans in the world, thank you. And then I could say, of course, you know, riding's awesome, but that's it. I mean really mentoring and helping people see that they, like you were talking about that they have it within them. Yeah, dude they, if you and me, if this guy and me, if we can fucking be sitting here with 17, 18 years of recovery, you have a good fucking life. Anybody can do it. Anyone can fucking do it. Trust me, we're not real smart, right, but no special. So that that's it yeah, that's it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all right, cool. Okay, thank you for joining us. This will be a good one to get out there, so if you've been on the live, very good. Until next time. Have a good day.