The Peaceful Mompreneur
Encouraging and equipping Christian Mompreneurs to have peace in their lives and business while staying grounded in Jesus Christ.
The Peaceful Mompreneur
Purposeful Living Beyond the Hustle
This episode features a powerful conversation with Denise G Lee, who provides insights on balancing faith and business while emphasizing the importance of prioritizing God above all else. Denise encourages listeners to reflect on their time management practices and to consider whether they are glorifying God or simply fulfilling personal desires.
Connect with Denise G. Lee ► ► https://deniseglee.com/
• Exploring Denise's journey as a healing and leadership coach
• Discussing the intersection of therapy, coaching, and faith
• Importance of mindful time management according to biblical principles
• Challenging the hustle culture and redefining success
• Recognizing the significance of God-first living
• Identifying signs of self-focus versus a spirit-led life
• Strategies for single mothers in managing responsibilities
• Importance of prayer and spiritual practices for clarity
• Building strong marital relationships through communication
• Encouragement for women feeling the pressure of entrepreneurial expectations
Grab the Healthy Sustainable Weekly Rhythm Guide for Busy Moms ► ► https://aliesehalcomb.com/weeklyrhythms
Hello everyone. We're so glad that you're here. I have a wonderful, sweet lady that I want to introduce you to. Her name is Denise G Lee, and I'm going to let her introduce herself because, well, she knows more about herself than I do, that's for sure, right? So, denise, why don't you tell everybody who you are, who you serve, what you do and why you do it?
Speaker 2:who you serve, what you do and why you do it. Well, thank you, Elise, for having me, and you know the question of like. I feel like I know myself better than you do. I don't think we ever really do know ourselves. I think that conversations like we're about to have is going to be more revealing about things that we even never thought was about who we are on our agenda.
Speaker 2:So, that being said, my name is obviously Denise G Lee and my title is a healing and leadership coach, which kind of is funny, because when you think about it, healing, leadership what's that really all about? Basically, a fancy way of saying I'm a life coach for business owners and executives. There is this weird in-between gap where therapy ends and healing and coaching begins, and so what I do is I kind of fill in that space where I help business owners, executives, busy people, busy moms, busy, like everyone's doing stuff, but they don't feel like they have anyone that can really connect and relate with them, and so my job is to not guide you, but walk alongside you and give you ideas and considerations that you may not have already put in place, because, let's face it, when we're in the middle of a hurricane or tornado. We're just trying to catch our breath. Forget about even trying to get our way away a self away from the storm.
Speaker 2:So I don't want to label or define or try to even excuse what you think you should and shouldn't do. I'm just trying to put up a mirror and reflect back and like this is what I see. Are you in alignment with that? And so I've been doing that for a lot, a lot of years. But in this last few years I've been really focusing on the space on traumas and addictions, because I truly believe that people who have a calling is usually birthed from some insecurity or pain or fear. No one gets in front of people and say I'm selling something or I'm advocating something without reason and, unfortunately, if a lot of people are doing it because of unhealed hurts and traumas, they can actually do more harm than good.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, that's great. Okay, so you said you've been doing this for a lot of years, right, and well, that's great. We like having you know, people ahead of us, right, like we all are on a journey together and the way you learn is by gleaning from people around you and from the Lord. Right, that's what we do. So you've been doing a lot of life coaching and before we spoke, we were talking about trying to focus in on some biblical approaches to time management and prioritizing your family, right? So that's what we discussed, and so I would like you to give our listeners just some very practical advice, like what does that look like to be biblically inspired for time management?
Speaker 2:Okay, that's a really good question and I love talking about this because I'm speaking not just as a business owner right, I'm talking about this as a follower of price. I'm talking about this as a wife, as a mother. I have a lot of hats that I have juggling all the time, and to sit here and say that well, I'm above you and I've got it all figured out, it's folly. I'm not sitting here and saying that even what I'm about to say, I follow it 100% of the time, but this has worked for me and this is what I believe might help you. And as you're listening to this too, what I'm about to say, I want this to come from a place of curiosity, not condemnation. So if you're listening to what I'm about to say and you're like, oh, this doesn't feel good, this is not about making you feel bad. Iron sharpens iron. And if we can't be able to help each other in examining the things that we need to look at, this is not helping. We're just going to be stuck in a childlike, infant state, and it's time for all of us to see areas that are not so nice, not because we want to feel bad, because we just want to grow and do better, not just for ourselves but for our children and for our community. So, that being said, I want to first talk about Ephesians 5, 15, 6. Our days are numbered and we obviously need to make sure that every single moment is used for good.
Speaker 2:I don't know about you, but I remember in the beginning of my kind of re-walking with Christ and learning about Purpose Driven Life it was Rick Warren, I believe, and you had to read all the way to the end. And then the end of the book was like love God and serve others, and like you had to read a freaking book just to hear that book, just to hear that. But there's a reason behind it, because in our mind there's a lot of noise, noise about what we should do, what we shouldn't do, what our parents and Uncle Jim and Cousin Mabel down the street were modeling and we don't really know what to do but just to try to keep fast. And I remember having a conversation, at least when I was talking with someone at a volunteer center and she she's like in her late 80s and I asked her you know, in your late 80s, was rushing really worth it? And she looked at me. She says no, I don't want anyone listening or watching to this thinking that the hustle and bustle is worth it.
Speaker 2:It's a lie. It's a lie from the enemy, it's a lie from culture. So this idea of time stewardship is coming from being mindful of the days and the hours we have and questioning what culture is telling us and what God tells us. And what God tells us most importantly is that we're supposed to keep him first, our family second and everything else last. But you go on TikTok and Instagram, rose. You think we need to keep ourselves first and then we'll feel fabulous and then we'll pour everything out and maybe, if we have a second, we'll look at a scripture that we see trending on TikTok for a scripture.
Speaker 2:I see this a lot within, even within female Christian circles, that they say that they are God first, but it's really masquerading as me first, with a little God on the side, and so what's really happening here is this understanding of are we using our time to glorify God or ourselves? And we see that in the fruits of our behavior. So if you're spending your time in anxious thoughts, if you're spending your time in anxious thoughts, if you're spending your time in comparison, if you're spending your time fixating on what you think you should be doing. You've got this timeline going around. That is time used on you, not for God.
Speaker 2:So I could continue, but I just want to jump in, no, I know I could, honey, I could talk more, but I just wanted to give in that stop to like answer any questions you may have and I got some more under time that I want to talk about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, awesome, okay, no, I think that's wonderful, okay. So I love what you're saying and you gave some very practical ways that we can say like are we living? Um, are we living like we're saying God's first, but we're really living how we're? Like we're first, right Cause, are we just giving the Lord lip service? Are we saying that we're doing something that we're not actually doing? Like, are we in our minds, are we always having like anxious thoughts and things like that?
Speaker 1:Do you have any other like flags that if someone was saying, like I think I'm living for the Lord, right, I think I'm living for the Lord. Right, I think I'm doing it, but I am overtaken by anxious thoughts, is there anything else like other than just that, that someone could look at their life and see, maybe I am focusing too much on myself and not really focusing on Christ, the way that I want to be right, like we want to be searching after the Lord. But it can be easy, especially in our social media saturated world, to be so inward focused, like, so where should we look at ourselves that says like you're not quite doing what you think you're doing or what you want to be doing, which is focusing on the Lord.
Speaker 2:I want to make some people upset not on purpose, not on purpose, not not. This is a whole lot of love about what I'm about to say, but one of the things I commonly see and I'm specifically talking about women, okay, that men could have it too is when I hear about manifestation boards and vision boards, and basically I'm thinking idle boards, where you have all these things like trips to Bali or spas or a private school for your kids, and you've all of a sudden, I just focus on my energy and I just want to get to this or just these milestones. And then, when you really think about it, is it really about honoring God or serving you? Because, like, for sure, for sure, think about it. If you're really about trusting and knowing that God will serve you, why would you have to hypnotize yourself into believing that within your power might fix things? And that's really what a vision board does.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to self-hypnotize myself. And don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong. I have goals, I have intentions, I have things that I really want to do. Like I'm not going to sit here and say, well, I don't have any intentions, like that's what I'm saying, but is that my? I wake up and I go to sleep on that. I see this a lot specifically with female entrepreneurs, where they have this huge vision and every sentence out of their mouth kind of reverts to I have this many impressions on my website, or I have this many sales, or you know this other leader I saw was doing. This leader I saw was doing this and like well, well, how's your kids doing honey? And it's just like an afterthought. Or what's your bible study?
Speaker 1:your prayer life going? Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, no, that makes total sense. So we just need to be like what the lord says, like our fruits. They show what we're really, what our real intentions are right. So if we're always focusing all of our intention on just our business or just on like the next goal, the manifestation, the next thing, then we're probably not focusing on the right things. Am I hearing what you're saying? Is that right? Yeah?
Speaker 2:absolutely Wonderful.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, thank you for that. Okay, so let's say that there is someone who is stuck in this like hustle, mindset, right, they're trying to go, they're trying to do, they're trying to whatever right. And maybe that's not just because they want to hit some more goals, maybe it's because they really need to be making more money so that their family can, you know, eat and live and keep the lights on right. So we got to do a lot of things. You know, obviously we need to make money. The Lord provides for us, right. So we got to do a lot of things. You know, obviously we need to make money. The Lord provides for us, of course. But she feels overwhelmed and she wants to live her life for the Lord and she wants to make sure that her you know, kids eat right. So how would she step away from the hustle and still, you know, move her business forward so that they can pay the bills?
Speaker 2:you know, move her business forward so that they can pay the bills. I remember a few years ago at least, when I was learning about Kendra Scott she's not, I don't know if she's a believer or not, that's not the point but I remember it was she was a single mother and she, literally with a baby on her back, would go and knock on doors and would show people her jewelry and this was pre like height of Instagram and some other like. She was literally door to door salesman selling her wares and then, at over time, it just grew up and got bigger within the Austin Texas area and it took large part within 20 years for her to build her business and to really get the notoriety that she has now. And I'm mentioning this not to say, if you work hard enough and 20 years later you will be like her. That's not the point I'm trying to make here. The point I'm trying to make is, in that situation that I'm mentioning, this was literally her only avenue, because of child care issues, because of time constraints and her gifting.
Speaker 2:Not every person who wants to start a business is gifted in the art of marketing and sales. Those are something totally different and, unless you have the funds and capital and patience and self-discipline, don't be a business owner. I know that sounds really sad for me to say this. Right, I've been a business owner myself for 13 years and I a lot of those years I was not making any money. And I'm saying this to say that there's this illusion when we see people who are very famous, they think that, well, if I can just like put on some makeup and a good pushup bra and good lighting, I too can make a lot of money. And I'm just sitting here and saying, no, baby, that's not you, that was just a whole lot of fillers and luck and a sprinkle of talent.
Speaker 2:When you are in a situation where you need to provide for your family okay, when you're in this I'm specifically talking to a single mother, a mother who is just trying they've got more month than money, all right A situation where you were just struggling and you're like gosh, denise, like I need to make this money, I need to support my family, I need to do certain things, and this is the unsexy thing I want to share with people today is, if you need to work three jobs at Walmart shifted, that's what you need to do. I don't really. You're like well, what about my business is really going to blow up, it's going to have potential. Well then, you're going to lose some sleep in between rocking the baby and burping and then writing a post or doing your Instagram reel or whatever, and then go back to your shift job, and that's not fun to say because we are the generation of the.
Speaker 2:I want it now, like overnight. How? Why should I try to juggle 5,000? Don't you think it's going to create more anxiety? Absolutely. That's where you have to go to prayer and go on your knees and then say to God like what do I really need to do? What's my top level things? Please give me the clarity, lord, to evacuate fears and thoughts and focusing on what you need to do.
Speaker 2:I remember a mentor of mine at least, gave me this book. It was called Mary Geish, it was the listening prayer and it was this tactic where you're literally in a space of quiet and you read a scripture, or you're just in quiet meditation on God's word and you just let God speak to you, speak to you, and I remember thought oh well, that's nonsense. I read the book and I actually started doing it and listening prayer, just really quietly to do or please separate what I need versus what my fears are. Help me, lord, to figure out what that is and if you actually allow God to speak, if you allow Holy Spirit to enter into your soul and confront those fears the flesh, the world, the devil, all that stuff he will make it clear what you need to do.
Speaker 2:And so for those of you guys who are listening or watching this and you're thinking well, that's not the answer that I want, I just need you to tell me how I can go on, mary Kay, and make more sales, like that's not the answer. If you're focusing on me first, fear first, god will be last. So if that means scaling back on certain things, if it means maybe you're working a lot on the weekends for a whole long time, that's what it needs to be done, and I'm sorry, I wish it was something other than that no, I think that's perfect.
Speaker 1:I think you're absolutely right. Um, we have to make the I talk a lot about like. You cannot do everything at the same time. It's just not possible. Maybe a lot of some people have more capacity than other people totally understand that, but you try to do everything, something will fall, fall away, and you need to focus on the Lord and see what he wants from you and your. He needs to be first, your family needs to be second, and then it's everything else, and I and I can tell that we're very much in alignment about this, and so I just I really, really love that. So tell me, how do you you were talking about earlier, right, we're gonna shift gears just a little bit, and then you have lots of hats, right, and the people that are watching this, they got lots of hats.
Speaker 1:We're moms, we're wives, we're daughters of the King, we've got families and friends and churches and all the stuff and businesses to run right. So, with all of that, what do you do to make sure that your focus is on Christ first? What does that look like for you?
Speaker 2:This is an evolution, lisa. I can't sit here and say like this is what will work for me from time into eternity, right, like that's not what it's about. But for me it goes back to that. Priorities, right, keeping God first. So I wake up and I pick up my phone and I go to my Bible study app. I have a wonderful mentor that volunteers me to do different studies Bible study, in fact.
Speaker 2:Right now we're studying through Mark and I do it and I read and I comment, read and I comment. Because here's the thing you can read God's word, but unless you're fully engaged into it, you can't get the message Of the mess that you're working through internally. So I read and I comment, and then right, and then after that my husband's next to me. I see his light on his screen from his whatever he's doing. We say our prayer together. We have a morning prayer, and then this my son and a dog and someone's barking and all sorts of stuff happens.
Speaker 2:And then the day happens. Does it absolutely start in that order that I want? No, that's the agenda. Right. After that I go by my calendar. I have a calendar where I have things that are pre-planned, that have lots of gaps for other randomness that happens in the course of the day, lots of gaps for other randomness that happens in the course of the day, and then it goes back to a gratitude, appreciation, prayer and sleep. That's me. I gave a huge gap because Monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday they can all different, but I just have a rough structure that allows time for me to connect with God and connect with others and connect with all the little people around me. All that fun stuff. You know?
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, absolutely. So I'm hearing like you start your day 100% Well, you try really hard to start your day 100% with the.
Speaker 1:Lord, I get that right. When you have little people that need you. Sometimes you get woken up at 4am with throw up on you. You know like things just happen. The Lord knows, he gives us grace, but you try to start your day with the Lord and then you give yourself space during your day. That says that you're not rushing from one thing to the next, and that's beautiful. I think that is a glorious and wonderful way to live our lives, because it says, like I have time for the people that come into my day that maybe I didn't know were coming or maybe you knew were there, like your children or your spouse, but I love that. And then sleep. My goodness. Sleep is so important. It'll basically ruin your life. If you don't get enough sleep, it can be really, really rough. So tell me so let's say that you're what's the best way that you reset when your day isn't going as planned? Let's say, things are just like off the rails, crazy. How do you reset?
Speaker 2:crazy. How do you reset? Well, it depends on what the reset's for. Okay, am I resetting? Yeah, if I'm, am I resetting because someone's irritating me? Am I resetting because my, my carefully designed plans have withered away? Am I resetting because I literally need sustenance?
Speaker 2:or food or like so everybody who talks about I need a, a reset. It's such a generalized thing to me because if you're hungry, angry, lonely or tired, there's a different response for each right. So if I'm hungry, just get up and eat, get something to eat. I don't need to complicate this anger. Usually when you're angry there are expectations, time of yourself, time with God, time with the other person. Am I even being realistic? This is a time where you question yourself and you question what you're perceiving. Am I lonely? Am I need to be plugged into people? Look God. Even God had homies. All right. Like why are we thinking that it's just me and the Holy Spirit alone? Maybe you need to call somebody.
Speaker 1:Right, I love that. That's like your husband, your husband, Good friend, Good friend. You need friends. Yes, that's so good. You're absolutely right, Because you're right Whenever things are not going as planned. We really should like take a second and be like Lord, what's wrong with me? Am I Lord? What's wrong with me? Am I like? What's the problem? And then you can assess that problem Not in such a general way. I love that. That's perfect. That's perfect. So let's see. So, you and your spouse, can you talk about how you guys stay like as a team, that you're running this race together that the Lord has put you on? What does that look like for you guys?
Speaker 2:I remember in the beginning of our marriage we did marital counseling and I remember in the beginning our pastor said to us well, it seems that you're a night owl and my husband and you're you're, uh, early riser and somehow you guys are gonna have to meet in the middle and then make sure you pray together at the end and good advice.
Speaker 1:Short, sweet, through the point. I like it.
Speaker 2:There's a lot more in between. That right for sure. And I mean we've read so many wonderful books. I think I'm thinking about Holy Marriage by Gary I'm forgetting his name, if you give me one second, because I remember when we were married before we were married we read that book, gary Thomasomas sacred marriage by gary thomas, sorry, and he's written a whole bunch. He's a prolific author, by the way. He's written a lot of books and we read that book. I highly recommend that book.
Speaker 2:But the idea, if I could just kind of distill, like gary thomas and some other people I've read, is this idea of it's a servant-based relationship, meaning that like, and we are called as women to help, support and the man is supposed to guide and love us, and always being that focal point of this marriage is a refining tool. It's not an irritant, it's not a convenience, it's not something that I can. I only want to stay good when everything's happy. But this thing, like, even when he's upsetting me, he's helping me become a better person. Every time I'm upsetting him, I'm helping him become a better person. And are we meeting together spiritually, sexually yeah, sexually too emotionally together, where we both agree to making sure that we're filling each other up, and that's not an easy thing.
Speaker 2:At least I think that that's a conversation within itself, but I will say the whole premise is that we view each other as refinement tools and and and motivating, encouraging tools. I remember I was just just a few hours earlier at least, I was on the, I was in somewhere else and I was just standing up right typing and my husband just came around and just gave me a kiss on the, on the neck, just kind of randomly. He needed that affection, he needed that affection, he needed that love. As women, we need to be attuned to those small little moments as well. They're telling us. We just need to pay attention.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely no, that's great. So, yeah, you're right, that could be an entire own conversation, but I do like that. It sounds like you've just you refine one another. I think that's a beautiful way to put it. I think that's great. And then it's having conversations with one another and and being serving and the expectations, like not being afraid to talk to your spouse about what it is that you need. That's beautiful. I love it, okay.
Speaker 2:Oh, I will say this. I will say this real quickly. Okay, I will say this. I will say this real quickly A huge part of having a nurturing, loving marriage is not falling in the trap of mind reading or assuming or thinking that somehow they're out to get us because they don't anticipate everything we want. They're not a mind reader, that's not their job. So I just wanted to throw that one out there. I love that.
Speaker 1:So this is just a little side note. My husband told me something very early on in our marriage We've been married for 12 years now and he basically said, if there's more than one way to take something that I've said and one of them is bad, it's not that I just need you to assume that it's the good one. And I'm like, and that has been the most helpful advice I've ever gotten from him, and so and I remember that and I tell people that like, if you're, if you think, yes, yeah, your spouse, they're not against you, you guys are a team, we're a team, right, and so that was. And he told me that point blank. And I was like, man, that's what I needed, that's exactly what I needed. Okay, awesome, all right, so if you had.
Speaker 1:So, our audience, our main audience here, is women with young children who, um, who are running either just starting or running a business that's relatively new. Um, that's the main people that are listening to this. If you had a group of them or just one right in front of you, what advice or encouragement would you give them? You can take a second if you need one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know I've got a lot of advice, some better than others but one of the common things that I definitely hear and my heart goes out to women is that the idea that I'm not good enough if it's not quick enough. I hear that so much. It's been a year or it's been blah blah, blah timeframe, or I don't want people to think bad about me because their expectations that it should take off. If it was had any ideas that was married, it should have launched off. I'm like, why are you talking so hard to non-business owners about business issues? Why? And then you're making yourself feel crappy about it and then you're building on faulty ideas with even stupider conclusions, conclusions and so like.
Speaker 2:I just like want to just wrap my big arms around them and just to say like it's time for you to start re-evaluating who is speaking truth to you. It's time for you to re-evaluate what it means to actually serve the Lord versus trying to be pleasing to others, versus trying to be pleasing to others. And that's not an easy conversation. It's not. It's not because we're going to start opening the door to some hurts and some wounds and some disappointments that you would rather just sweep away. But what's the most important part about being a business owner is to be able to have the resiliency to learn from all those hurts and see how we can help glorify God in the process. So maybe you might need to take some courses, yelp. Maybe it might need to not be as ambitious, yikes. Maybe it's time to stop reading every single thing that you see scrolling on your screen Sometimes more information is actually harmful, depending on the source.
Speaker 2:So it was a lot more pruning and subtraction addition. If you are a mother, if you are a business owner and you want to elevate yourself, it's going to take a lot of humility to actually humble yourself and let God lift you up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely Okay. So we're about wrapping it up. Is there anything else you want to tell the audience, or anything like that, before you can? Yeah, anything else, sorry.
Speaker 2:You know. I just want to say that there's a reason why you, my love, are wanting to grow a business and make sure that your kids don't go to jail by 18 or even after that. I get that. I get that there is a legacy that you want to keep, that you want to continue. There is a passion inside of you that wants to make a difference that you couldn't have done in corporate America or wherever you were working or whatever your agenda was.
Speaker 2:But if you're doing this because you feel like it will give you a sense of worth or validation in this world, I promise you pain and suffering and confusion. So if you are listening and you're thinking to yourself, I'm not doing it the right way. I'm feeling anxious and confused. That's literally God, holy Spirit, nudging you to a path that's more aligned to how you were built and how you were designed, and if you're looking to a culture that's not going to be it, I would pause. I would hearken you to actually ask yourself what their intentions are and ask for god to do healing inside you, to point you and line you more to where you need to be versus where your fears want you to stay okay, wonderful, all right.
Speaker 1:So can you tell everybody where they can find you and if you have anything you want to point them to?
Speaker 2:sayings resonate when you what alicia and I are sorry, doesn't need, because if, if it's not, like then you've just wasted your 25 plus minutes of time, all right, like, let's just be real. And if there is, I really want you to write some things down like what really resonated with you and that will help, and then go to god in prayer and ask yourself, like what really do I need to put to the throne and really examine. That's the first and foremost, before you do anything else. And the second thing is, if, if the conversation has resonated and you would love to learn more about me, I invite you to visit my website, denisegleecom.
Speaker 2:There are tons of articles over 100 articles by myself, doctors, therapists, leaders that talk about healing, productivity, spirituality. I always want to make sure that myself and for the most part, invulnerable and transparent about the process, because it's not a cookie and Kool-Aid party and obviously that site you can learn more about working with me, my material, all that fun stuff. I don't really care what you do, other than the fact that you're letting God lead the journey. That's all I really care. And I've got a little course, a free little mini course, healed to lead, and I'm gonna give you at least the link and then we can share with the audience. It's a three-day mini course. I think you'll find very valuable.
Speaker 1:Wonderful. Okay, yeah, so I'll get all the links and everything to that stuff and I'll put it in the description of this. So, denise, thank you so much for being here with us. This was fabulous and I just want to say thank you and I appreciate you. Thank you so much for the conversation, absolutely.