Behind Closed Doors
Behind Closed Doors is a podcast where I share my personal journey of nearly two decades living with chronic pain, mental health struggles, and sleepless nights. It’s a raw, honest conversation about the realities many of us face but rarely talk about openly. The mission behind the podcast is simple, to create connection and understanding. Everyone has a story, and often the hardest battles happen behind closed doors. By sharing mine, I hope to shine a light on those silent struggles, reduce the stigma around chronic illness and mental health, and remind people they’re not alone.
Behind Closed Doors
The Year I couldn't Hide Anymore
Episode 5
In this episode, I take you to the start of 2023, my 35th birthday, a house full of friends, and a night I’ll never forget. From sleepless nights to surfing highs, this was the year I learned how deeply fear can take root when sleep disappears, and how hard it is to keep pretending you're okay when you're not. This was a year of another slow unraveling… and the search for something different.
Show Notes
Insomnia
If you're struggling with insomnia or feeling overwhelmed by poor sleep, I want you to know you're not alone. This episode reflects my story, but everyone’s path is different. Below are some gentle, supportive ideas to explore if you're feeling stuck. They’re not prescriptions, just places to start:
Speak to a GP or psychologist with sleep experience
- Acknowledge and journal your sleep thoughts, sometimes externalising the worry helps
- Look into Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I)
- Try nervous system regulation tools like breathwork, vagus nerve exercises or yin yoga
- Learn about the mind-body connection through authors like Dr. Sarno, Nicole Sachs or Dr. Gabor Maté
- Explore sleep-focused resources like “The Sleep Book” by Dr. Guy Meadows
Please be kind to yourself. This stuff is hard. You’re not alone.
A Note on My Headaches
At one point, I was experiencing constant, daily headaches that left me physically and emotionally drained. While they’ve eased recently, possibly due to a combination of nervous system regulation, sleep improvements, and antidepressant medication, it’s still an ongoing journey, and I don’t have all the answers.
I’m sharing this part of my story not as a diagnosis, but as a lived experience. Chronic pain and healing can look different for everyone. Just because something has shifted doesn’t mean it wasn’t real, or that it’s "fixed."
If you're living with persistent headaches, I see you. You’re not alone, and you’re not imagining it.
Daily Persistent Headaches
If you're dealing with persistent daily headaches, I know how exhausting and overwhelming it can be. Below are some gentle, supportive ideas to explore if you’re feeling stuck. These aren’t prescriptions, just places to begin:
- Speak to your GP or a neurologist to rule out underlying causes
- Keep a headache journal to track patterns, triggers, and symptom changes
- Look into specialist headache clinics—some offer holistic or multidisciplinary approaches
- Explore the link between chronic pain and the nervous system, including central sensitisation
- Try nervous system regulation tools like gentle yoga, breathwork, or somatic tracking
- Learn from mind-body practitioners such as Dr. John Sarno, Dr. Howard Schubiner, or Nicole Sachs
- Consider dietary, hormonal, or environmental triggers, with the support of a qualified practitioner
- Ask about preventative treatments or medications tailored for chronic headache or migraine
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