Beyond Sunday
Welcome to Beyond Sunday, the Podcast that takes you deeper into the Word of God throughout your week, with your Host Pastor Lee Day.
It's Time to Inspire, Uplift, and dig deeper. Beyond Sunday starts now!
Beyond Sunday
Down But Never Out: A Story of Faith and Recovery
There's a profound difference between being knocked down and being knocked out. In this deeply moving episode, Pastor Lee welcomes Daniel Raynor, whose life exemplifies the redemptive power of God's relentless love even in our darkest moments.
Daniel's story defies the typical assumptions about addiction. Raised in a loving Christian home with both parents present, he was an athlete who enjoyed a particularly close relationship with his father. Yet despite this seemingly ideal upbringing, methamphetamine found its way into his life during high school. His disarmingly honest admission—"I tried it, I liked it"—shatters the myth that addiction only befalls those from troubled backgrounds.
What follows is a raw journey through the valleys of grief and addiction. Daniel shares how he used drugs to numb himself while his father was dying, and how he lost his position in ministry, his marriage, and daily presence in his daughters' lives. The pain is palpable as he describes these losses, yet so is the undercurrent of hope that runs through his testimony.
The turning point arrives unexpectedly. While high on meth and listening to a Christian song, Daniel experiences the Holy Spirit in a way that outshines any drug-induced high. "It was the purest feeling I had ever felt," he explains, "and I was high on meth, so I knew the difference." This powerful encounter begins a non-linear journey toward recovery that eventually leads him back to serving in church.
Daniel's testimony resonates with the prophetic words from Joel 2:25 spoken over his life years ago: "I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten." Now remarried and serving alongside his wife, they dream of creating "Restoration Ranch," where their shared passions for roping and barrel racing become vehicles for introducing others to Jesus.
Have you ever felt too far gone for redemption? Listen to this episode and remember that while you may have been down, with God, you're never out. Share this powerful testimony with someone who needs to hear that their story isn't over yet.
What's going on? Everybody, how are you doing? This is Pastor Lee, pastor of Christ Family Outreach Church, located in Amelia, virginia, and here at the table with me today on this episode of Beyond Sunday. I've got Daniel Rayner. Daniel, my brother in Christ, how are you today? Man, I'm so thankful to be herener. Daniel, my brother in Christ, how are you today?
Speaker 2:Man. I'm so thankful to be here, brother. Thank you, brother.
Speaker 1:Hey, I have been praying about this episode for a long time. I know we talked about it maybe a month ago or so, give or take a few weeks, but, man, I'm excited to have you on this episode. So first, before we get going, I want to say thank you. Thank you for being willing to come in, to be honest, to share. You know, there's a lot of people that are going to hear this episode and they're going to be sharing it with people that need to hear it.
Speaker 1:Maybe there's some that just need to hear it for encouragement, but maybe there's some that they're where you were at one time and they're going to be able to take this testimony and say, hey, look, man, there's hope. Testimony and say, hey, look, man, there's hope. Right, if God saved this guy, god can save you. So everybody that's listening, I encourage you listen to the entirety of this episode, share it with people that you know that need to hear it, and it's going to be a blessing for them. The reason that I asked you to come onto the podcast today was because number one of your testimony and what I love about it, is and we're going to get into the details of your story in just a moment. But for those who do not know you personally, you were in ministry. Yes, right, and you end up falling from ministry, but before you fall, you're serving in a leadership role.
Speaker 1:Amen you know, and this is the piece that I love about it because here's a brother who's in the Lord, he's serving in leadership, but you eventually fall to the temptation of using drugs. Yes, so you fall out of the role, from serving within the church, but I love it because this is a true redemption story. Yes, you know, this truly is about redemption and how someone could be at such a place of serving and preaching the gospel, sharing the truth with young people, stepping in for the pastor right and preaching, yes, and here you are now falling, but yet you won't out. No, and I love that. And so that is what I believe God's going to use on today's episode to encourage people, because here's the good news you may have been down, but you won't out.
Speaker 2:Amen, amen. So you know you were down, but you won't out.
Speaker 1:Amen, amen. So you know you were down but you were not out. So God has a plan for you. The enemy had pushed you around, but the enemy did not win. Praise God, that's right.
Speaker 1:And now you've got this, as I mentioned a moment ago, this redemption story. So really, you're a comeback story. Yes, you know, you truly are a comeback story, and I believe that there's people out there listening today that need to hear that, because maybe they think they can't have a comeback, maybe they think they've lost it all, it's too late for them, but the truth is is that it's never too late. It's never too late, and they've got to understand that God's not finished with them yet either. So I want to open up with Psalm 37, 24, because I just mentioned that you may have been pushed down, but you weren't knocked out.
Speaker 1:Psalm 37, 24 says this though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord, god upholds his hand. In other words, you may have fallen, but you were not knocked out of the fight. So if we could, daniel, before we go any deeper into your testimony, share for someone out there that's listening today why they should not give up, no matter how low they are right now. Why should that person struggling with drugs, struggling with a pornography addiction, maybe going through a divorce? Why should that person right now not give up on life?
Speaker 2:Because God never gives up on us. Amen, and that's the main deal. Man, you can go as far as you want, but he's still right there waiting on you when you turn back around for him.
Speaker 1:All the time.
Speaker 2:It's so amazing, man, what kind of love is that.
Speaker 1:I don't even understand it, bro. I know we can't really understand the heights nor depths of it. You know the heights nor depths. But man, I'm going to tell you it sure is a blessing being in the love of God. Amen, amen, bro, as a child, let's get right into it.
Speaker 1:As a child, you grew up in the church, yes, yes, and I'm just going to kind of quickly set this, this childhood up, because one would think, like man, this just sounds like a perfect story. How could this guy, you know, fall to the depths that he's fallen? So, because I think sometimes people see people with such addiction and they think, well, he won't raise right. You know what I mean. Like, like that guy, that girl, they just weren't raised right, or maybe they came from that, and the truth is not everybody may have come from a generational curse. Sometimes people start their own and if they're not careful, they pass that down to their children, right? So let me just kind of set this up your child growing up in the church.
Speaker 1:Your testimony says that you were an athlete. You're playing baseball. You're playing basketball, you're playing football. You've got both parents in your life right. Your dad and you had a really extremely close relationship. You said that he's taking you to rodeos, the whole roping scene. You guys are doing it, that's right, and everything's great. You guys are just buds and you're loving each other. And the point I'm trying to make is this and I said this at somebody at church today addiction and temptation does not care who it goes after. You agree with that? Yes, the devil doesn't care how good you had it, addiction doesn't care how strong you may be. That's right. So temptation and addiction does not care who it goes after. I think sometimes as parents we could say oh well, I don't have to pray about that, or I don't have to worry about that because my kids would never right. Maybe your kids wouldn't ever want to, but that don't mean the enemy's not going to try to attack them too.
Speaker 2:Would you agree with me there? Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:So we look at these situations and we think, well, my kids would never. No, no, no, you got to understand this. Jesus tells us in the Word of God that there is an enemy, satan, who is out there. To granddads and grandmoms yeah, your kids or grandkids may never have the desire to do those things, but that don't mean that the devil ain't coming with it. When you were a young child, you probably never had the desire to go jump off the deep end either, but some things go on in the course of your life that you end up falling and we'll get there in a minute, around the end of your high school career.
Speaker 1:Right, you say in your testimony that you end up trying some meth. Okay, and that sets you, daniel, that sets you on a path of addiction, down this dangerous road. Yes, and it's going to hit you multiple times, not just high school, college, but even into adulthood, right? Yes, how subtle was that? Let's talk about that for a moment, because I just mentioned that parents and grandparents may say well, my kids would never. And I had said that that addiction doesn't care who it goes after. How subtle was it. Did someone offer it at a party? Was it at a sporting event. Share with the listeners how meth was introduced into your life, even though you grew up in this great family. How was it introduced into your life?
Speaker 2:From friends that I had. You know during that time that you would call good friends, right, you know that's the ones I wanted to hang out with and uh, but when I tried it, I liked it. Yeah, I liked the way it made me feel, I liked you know the effects of it.
Speaker 1:I loved it.
Speaker 2:Yeah and um, so my mom is. It's funny you said that while ago. My mom even asked one time where did we go wrong? I said you never did. You know, like I said, I grew up in the church, you know, and mom sung in the choir.
Speaker 1:Yeah, come on.
Speaker 2:But I was like mom, you didn't go wrong, I tried it, I liked it, and that's what the flesh does, you know.
Speaker 1:That's where you ended up. Yeah, yeah, you, you, you. You end up earning a partial college scholarship for for roping at a college in Texas. Yes, but that's a big deal right In a roping world. Oh yeah, you know that's huge, you. You come back at the end of one of the semesters and your testimony says this you come back at the end of one of your your semesters in college and you start using more drugs. What was it, brother, that made you feel like you needed to do that? You've got everything happening. You're on this partial scholarship, you're down in Texas, you start to use. What is it that makes you go back? Because on the outside it looks like you got it all together.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was, and I was dating this girl and I didn't want to go back to school because I was missing her. Yeah, so I stayed back in North Carolina and, um, stay with her and just the crowd that I was around, Um and uh, not talking junk about nobody or nothing, but these guys used to and it's something we like to do, yeah, so that gets back to my whole topic.
Speaker 1:Your, your circle matters. Yes, you agree with that Tremendously. Yeah, and so what you're saying is a circle you were hanging out with. Well, I guess you could also say like this right, you are who you hang around, yes, for sure. So I guess some parents could say my child would never. And I guess maybe what they need to consider is your child may never, but what are their friends doing? Because, as their friends do, they may end up doing.
Speaker 2:It's so easy to fall in that and even especially even if you've got somebody that you feel close to that does it and you enjoy it when you do do it. Yeah, it's hard to stay away from.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's hard to combat that once you know the flesh likes it. And this is what I'm doing, and really it comes down to this Rather than choose Christ, we're choosing flesh. So let's fast forward. Six or seven years. You've got a daughter, your first daughter is born, and later in the year you get married yes, right. And then, two years after you get married, in 2009, your dad goes on to be with the Lord yes. And in your testimony you say that you can remember when your dad's passing. You can remember being in the hospital using drugs. Yes, Talk about for a moment if you will talk about the pain, because somewhere out there there's a listener right now who feels like the only thing they have to numb the pain is drugs, but you're a firsthand witness that Jesus Christ is the only one that can fix it. So what's that like? You're in the bathroom, you're using drugs, and why? Why?
Speaker 2:I feel like that's a way I could cope. I was using. We're always trying to fill that void when we don't have Jesus and we using drugs, women, alcohol, whatever it may be that you deal with you're trying to fill a void that only Jesus can fill. That's right. So that was a way I could kind of be numb to the situation. It made me feel good. So I kept using, especially during a time like this and I was losing my dad and it was pretty strong. I remember my family had left the night that he passed away. It was like one o'clock in the morning on Christmas day and he finally took his last breath and uh, I remember sitting there, being the only one with him, and uh, but yes, I was high. And even the next morning when I left, after he had passed, I went home and I went to a friend's house and started using again. It's a way that I could keep myself, I thought, feeling good and not have to deal with it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you were staying numb, that's how you were choosing to cope, right, that's how you were coping with it all Months after your dad went on to be with the Lord and right prior to beginning the recording of this episode we were talking about, you had a close friend and he had a large family I think you said five children, yes, but he had a garage outside with a set of drums in it. Set a drum love to play, all right. So set that up, because you end up. You end up driving down the road after leaving this guy's garage one night, but but just set up the fact that what you and your, you and your buddy were in the garage, what y'all are doing, and even though what you're doing, he, he, still believes. So just kind of set that up to the listeners. Just share with them what you shared with me earlier oh, man it it was.
Speaker 2:Um, I would go over there to just we had a relationship where we would get high together. Um, yes, he was married, had some, had some children and stuff. And uh, we had a habit, we had an addiction, and we'd stay out there and we he'd play his drums I might be doing whatever, um, but we would use and we would use. And uh, he asked me one night or one day, whatever time it was, and he said, man, um, do you know where you're going If you, when you die? And I'm like man, I go to church. I grew up in church he said, I ain't asked you that. Do you know where you're going to go when you leave this world? And I'm like, you know, that's something to think about. Well, time goes on, or weeks go on, and we start talking about the Lord, yeah, and, man, it's so wild, it's so crazy, man, it sounds crazy, but I would go over there and use. But it would be to where we would talk about Jesus and read the word, yeah, listen to songs, more than we were getting high.
Speaker 1:Ain't that how God God will end up turning it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's amazing, he'll come down to the pits of hell and bring you out of it.
Speaker 1:He'll just let it, bro.
Speaker 2:Come on, man, if you'll just let him, he'll come out, because that's where we were at. Yeah, you know we could have been doing anything, but we just wanted to get high. Yeah, but God come into that and said, okay, you're gonna, you're gonna find me here. You know what's amazing. You know that's so good, bro him eating. You know, with the sinners, and you know in the word of god, you know it talks about, he hung out with the sinners and the pharisees couldn't figure it out.
Speaker 1:I think that's why it's so important, brother daniel, that as christians, we don't judge anybody. Yes, you know, because, man, look at this. Here you guys are, you're using drug. We are still using meth at this point, oh yes. Here you guys are, you're using drugs. Were y'all still using meth at this point? Oh yes. So you guys are. You're strung out on meth. Right here You're in the garage using drugs, yes, and yet here this dude is behind the drums. You're off to the side, you said, doing whatever, y'all are both on drugs and he's asking a question about eternity.
Speaker 1:Yes, you know, and I think that as Christians, we've got to be careful that we just don't see somebody, you know, walking down the sidewalk on drugs or down the aisle at the grocery, the grocery mall, you know whatever, at the grocery store, at the shopping mall.
Speaker 1:We don't look at them and say, oh man, look at him, get away, get away, get away, kids, you know, I mean they might be having some real questions, just like y'all did. Some eternity, some eternal questions about salvation. And you're right, man Jesus, about salvation. And you're right, man Jesus ate with the sinners, and it wasn't to participate in the sin, it was to offer them hope and love and encouragement and redemption and rescuing them from the sin right. And so, man, I think that that's so deep man. So you know, here you guys are, you're on this map, and he asked a question about eternal life. So you're over there, y'all, start opening up the Word as you just shared, you, you, you're over there, y'all, y'all start opening up the word as you just shared. You know, share with the listeners about that time. You're driving, you're driving home and what went on from from after leaving this guy's garage.
Speaker 2:So he would, he would make me a CD and, uh, he had some good Christian songs on it and, like I said, man, I'm getting more and more involved in it. But I felt like the devil was still playing with me because I was still staying intoxicated, high on meth, but I was reading the word yeah. So some things would be a little bit fuzzy to me, but you know, it still was working. God was still working, amen. So I get the CD and the Crab family. I remember that song. He'll Make a Way, yes, he will.
Speaker 2:And I left his house, headed back to my house because I was married at the time, had a child, and was headed back down the road and I remember putting that CD in. I remember playing that song and when it started playing, man, I just felt like praying and I just started crying and I just started praying. I was like God, come my life. You know, and I don't even remember the words I said, but I remember the Holy Spirit coming all over me, brother, and it was the purest feeling I had ever felt, all over my body, and I was high on meth, so I knew the difference.
Speaker 1:Yeah, come on, brother, you knew the difference, I love that, oh, I knew the difference.
Speaker 2:And, uh, man, I got home that night I went, you know, whatever I did, whether I slept or not. But that next morning I called him and you know I told him I said, man, something happened. I remember him saying you know, you got saved, brother. And I was like, yeah, that feels pretty good, yeah. So some time went by and I finally gave it up the meth use and different things. And then years led by and I got into the ministry and different things, the youth.
Speaker 1:Praise God. Man, somewhere out there, someone's listening right now and they're struggling with the addiction and they're using it to numb themselves. They're using it, like you said earlier, just being honest. You enjoyed the high. You know your flesh enjoyed it, but I love what you were just talking about right there. This was a high that you ain't never felt before. It was a high of the Holy Spirit coming upon you and it outdid any drug that you've ever experienced before. Yes, man, that's powerful.
Speaker 2:Such a pure feeling, bro. Such a pure feeling, just. I guess you could say the holy goosebumps, or whatever at the time. Yeah, yeah, I guess you could say the Holy the, the Holy goosebumps, or whatever at the time you know, but man, it was just, it was just the purest feeling.
Speaker 2:come all over me, brother, and it was. It was just wonderful and uh, you know, and I and I did struggle some after that. Um, you know, we had another child in 2012 and in 2013, I lost my sister. So I went from losing my dad in 2009 to losing my sister in 2013.
Speaker 1:But so in 2013, when she passes your testimony, says that you start battling with depression. Yes, how did you battle depression at the time of your sister passing? What was your go to right?
Speaker 2:there man I was. I was serving the Lord then, but I was having panic attacks and things and different things was going on during that time and, uh, but he ended up with some medical help as well, to God, put me on a path to where it kind of leveled me out and everything was good, um, during that. But and then right after that I was attending Bible studies and different things.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And, um, it's just. It's just wonderful what some of the people I met during that time, some brothers and sisters in Christ, because I had a scripture that was prophesied over my life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely, we could get into that. Actually, right now, because time moves on, you end up teaching the youth at your church, which is amazing, you know what I mean. I mean this whole point right here of what God is beginning to do in your life at this point, and not only are you speaking to the youth and leading the youth, you're filling in for the pastor. Sometimes you start to speak at the cowboy church services with roping and things like that and Joel 225 that you just mentioned. Joel 225 is prophesied over your life and for the listeners that don't know it, Joel 225 is this I will restore you to the years that the swarming locust has eaten the hopper, the destroyer and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you. So share with the listeners what Joel 225, when it was prophesied over you, what that means for Daniel Rayner's life.
Speaker 2:You know, actually I think I'm just starting to get to that part now. It's amazing, because this was back in 2000. I'm going to say probably 13, 14, somewhere in there, or maybe even a little bit before that. He'd done it then, but I still fell away yeah it's, it's so, man, the love of god is so amazing because I can sit right here and just feel like how far would I be if I hadn't turned the back away from him even after the ministry yeah but he's been there the whole time, the entire time, so he never left me, that's right.
Speaker 2:And if I could give any encouragement to anybody out there listening, you know, if you think you're too far from God he's never left you.
Speaker 1:He's always in the room. He's always there, yeah, no matter how ugly the room is. Yes, he's, he's. He's there with you.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yeah, so you, you, you can testify to that, that you know God has been with you the entire time, the entire time, even when I run away from it, the scripture prophesying over my life was was major because, um, I know that he's restored to years and he's going to, and he's still doing and he's still doing you.
Speaker 1:you end up being unfaithful in your marriage. Yes, and in your words you say this pleasing the flesh. Galatians 5, 16, and 17 is a passage that I read in your testimony. I'm going to read that to the listeners Galatians 5, 16 through 17. If you got your Bibles you can go there. Galatians 5, 16 and 17 says this. But I say walk by the spirit. Capital S the spirit of God. But I say walk by the spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. But the desires of the flesh are against the spirit and the desires of the spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other to keep you from doing the things you want to do. For these are opposed to each other to keep you from doing the things you want to do. Because of how you were living, you obviously had to step away from your leadership position at this point within the church.
Speaker 2:Yes, I felt kind of hypocritical. Actually, you know, how can I sit there and tell these kids, this youth here, things not to do? That I was struggling with and I know we all struggle, don't don't take me wrong on that or whatever but yeah, you know, the things that I were doing was too it was too much, you know, and uh, I was rodeoing a lot then at that time, so I was traveling a lot, so I just stepped away. I felt like that was going to be the best thing to do. Yeah, but uh, it just it kind of down spiraled after that again as well. Yeah, and uh, from women to. You know, I was always chasing a high, always chasing a high from either drugs, women, rodeos even yeah, um, and at that point and you're looking in all the wrong areas yes, all the wrong
Speaker 1:because, man, here's the crazy thing, I forgot my first love. Yeah, yeah, that's so right I'll. Because, man, here's the crazy thing, I forgot my first love. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's so right. I'll get ready to say here's the thing you had already experienced, the most purest, highest high that you could ever experience, and that's when the Holy Spirit of God fell over you. You know, when you were listening to the music and the Crab Family song. He Will Make A Way. You know, you had already experienced it and and as Christians we've always been, you know, we've been there, whether we've understood it or not, maybe we always haven't, but I'm reminded of the children, israel. You know God delivers them and then they go right back to the old ways of living.
Speaker 1:And so many times we're like, how could they do that? But we do that ourselves, don't?
Speaker 2:we Amen, you know.
Speaker 1:so yeah, you had experienced such a high? How many Christians have experienced? We're guilty, I'm guilty of it. We experience that high and then days later, weeks later, sometimes minutes or hours later, we're pleasing our own thoughts.
Speaker 2:Yes, Pleasing our own flesh again. Yeah, yeah, and that's the thing. What I have to remember, and what all of us need to remember, is we're either serving God or we're not.
Speaker 1:There's no, in between it's either light or dark.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's either light or dark.
Speaker 1:The Bible tells us that yes, yeah, so, and God, god don't want us lukewarm. No, choose ye today who you go serve.
Speaker 2:Amen, brother Amen.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you, you and your wife, y'all, um, y'all end up separating. Yes, y'all try to make it work. Yes, back and forth in and out of trying to make it work, I would imagine it's toxic at times, yes, but ultimately it ends up in divorce, yes, and during that process, more women enter the picture.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:You start using again. Has meth always been the drug of choice? Yes, okay, yes. So here you're back on meth again, daniel. To some out there, this question may be a no-brainer, especially people who struggle with addiction, but I'm going to ask it because not everybody has battled a drug addiction before. So I think it's important that they understand, especially if they have a loved one or know someone who is battling a drug addiction. Okay, why do you think you kept going back to the drugs, knowing that they were no good for you, knowing what the end game looked like, but why would you keep going back? Share with someone out there that has a loved one or has someone that they truly love and they keep going back, but yet they can't understand why that person keeps going back.
Speaker 2:Brother, I think the biggest thing for me was I didn't stay grounded, in truth, I didn't stay walking with the one that already saved me from all of that. I just kind of turned away and didn't even realize it. Yeah, and the enemy is so strong and the flesh is in the world, you can't beat him without Jesus.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can't, that's right, and so I think the biggest thing that I could tell somebody is stay grounded in the word. Go to a church like CFO, sit under a pastor like yourself, praise God that teaches the word of God. That really get around. Brothers and sisters Brother Frankie's been on here, you know. You know Brother Billy, brother Trey, all of them have been an inspiration to me, brother, just having Brother Martin that we've seen, you know, and there's so many that Brother Ed and we'll get into so many names, man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I told my wife the other day. I said, you know, we are so blessed that God has sent and I hope this is for every church out there. So I'm not just sitting here, you know, blowing our church up just to say, hey, look at us, I hope this is at every church out there, but we are so blessed that God has sent so many good people and we're not perfect people, but, man, I mean truly some people to this ministry that love the Lord, that love the Lord, that's right. So that's what you're saying. You know find a good Bible teaching, bible preaching church that honors and both fears the Lord.
Speaker 2:Yes, Because the thing about it was, man, I could tell I enjoyed sin and that sounds terrible, you know, when you say it out like that, but even the word says sin was fun for a season or something to that nature. You know, and I could tell, you know, I was like if I don't stay grounded and stay with uh, people that make me accountable, you know, um, then you're going to fail. Yeah, You're going to fail, and I feel like the relationship with Jesus Christ is supposed to, is going to have to be your most important relationship If you want to succeed through the addictions.
Speaker 1:We talked a little bit about your two daughters, right? Yes, share with that, because now you're all the way here in Virginia, they're down South and North Carolina, and maybe there's some people out there right now they're they're divorced from, from their, and maybe there's some people out there right now they're divorced from their spouse and they're no longer in the house where the children are. So just talk about that, because I know there's hurt there. I know you have shared with me I mean just really, since I first knew you how much you love your girls. Yes, and anyone that knows you hears and gets to witness your heart about those two girls. Yes, and anyone that knows you hears and and and and gets to witness your heart about those two girls. I've never met them, but I know that their daddy loves them. Yes, you know so. So just share what that's like. God has you here right now, at this season in your life. He's, he's, he's using you right here, where you're at, but part of your heart is down in North Carolina. What's, what's that about?
Speaker 2:Man, I struggle today with it. I mean it's an everyday. Yeah, it hurts. You go through a lot of thoughts yeah, was I a bad dad, you know? Am I not there? Did you do enough? Yeah, Did I do enough, did I? You know? I don't get to see her get home from school, you know which? My oldest daughter is 18 now, but my youngest is 13. She just started, actually yesterday, uh, monday, she started um eighth grade, so it'd be her last year of middle school, yeah, and before she goes to high school and she plays basketball and dance and I do get to get down there and see them and stuff. But but, man, it is a struggle being away from them, because you know, you think about God blessed you with two and then, from the choices that I made, that's, I kind of feel like sometimes that's consequences for the choices I made, man, that I have to live with being away from my daughters and, yes, it hurts, but I am thankful that I still do have some relationship with them.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. That's the beauty, because I've heard so many people talk about how divorce is just ruined and wrecked. Yes, that opportunity to have relationship with their daughters or their sons, their children, so the fact that your girls still love dad and still want dad to come down and visit is really a beautiful thing and it really is, at this point in life, a gift that you can show up and be present and be part of their lives.
Speaker 2:Yes, even though you're no longer living in the house that's right, and like saturday, I went down and hung out with my youngest daughter, so it was great and I love seeing them all the time. But the way things happened, you know it is a struggle to to. You know it does hurt. It is it hurts because everybody wants to be with their children, you know especially, and then when that's took away, you know you're really. But that's where I really really try to lean in and say God, you got this. You know what you're doing, I don't, and that's why Proverbs 3, 5, and 6 is so big to me. Man, you know, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:In all your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your path. So I've got to trust in him and not lean on my own heart.
Speaker 1:We're at the place in your testimony where you go on to meet this woman named Adrian, yes, who is going to eventually become your wife. Yes, right. And and you say in your testimony that she wouldn't date you for several months because she knew your reputation. Amen, bro, that's right. Well, I'd say that's a good woman. Yeah, that's a good woman. So there was some. There was some off and on moments in the relationship. Once you guys finally get together, she gives you a chance Right? You share in the testimony.
Speaker 2:Even if she didn't want to, she did there you go, there you go Well sometimes.
Speaker 1:You know, what I've experienced in life is, brother, is that when people know they've got a calling on their life to be with this person or to do this thing you know in ministry or whatever and they've run from it, it can be miserable watching people fight something that they're called to do or someone that they're called to be with. You know what I mean. They're resisting it and it's just this inward wrestle. You know what I mean, like this inward battle of resistance. You know what I mean. But so you guys are together, y'all are dating, you know, and on and off, right, on and off.
Speaker 1:But once and I love this you say in your testimony that once you put Jesus first, everything started beginning to click the right way and the way. I would kind of say it. When I've read your testimony a couple of times already, this is kind of the thing that clicked in my head when I was reading it. You made Jesus Christ a priority in your life and you made sure that if Jesus Christ is going to be a priority in your life, then that means he's going to be a priority in your relationship with Adrian. Yes, so what's that look like? Tell the listeners how, once you put Jesus first, things started clicking.
Speaker 2:Well, the first. I mean we broke up several times during our relationship when I moved up to Virginia and, um, each time we would split up I'd be like man, I got to get Adrian back. I got to get her back, whatever the case may be, I could only think about her. But that last time we split up you know I'm sure I had a little bit of that to start with, but I finally, god had finally pulled me back again. He finally got me again. You know what I'm saying Like okay, lord, I'm yours. And when I finally started searching him, seeking him, because he says you know, if you seek me with your whole heart, you'll find me. You know, amen. And so I started seeking him, searching him.
Speaker 2:Brother Donnie Lawson and Bert Lawson you know I was staying with them working for their son and different things. They introduced me to the missionaries down in Texas. I got to go to be with CFO on the mission trip and things in Mexico. Man, it was just such a blessing. But when I got down there I finally started realizing my identity in Christ. Amen, amen.
Speaker 2:You know, I'd got to the point where I'd forgot all that. I'd forgot what God had already done for me for so long. It's amazing how the enemy sure won't remind you of what God's done for you and the flesh would just keep you away from it. Yeah, but I finally got to a point. I was like, okay, I'm a child of God, I'm not a drug addict, I'm not a team roper, I'm not a womanizer, I'm not this. I'm not that. I'm a child of God, man, I'm redeemed, I'm saved by the most high Amen, brother, we're going to live together for eternity, amen.
Speaker 2:So when I got to that point, I said okay. And you know what's crazy man, the this. I'm 42 years old and, uh, the first time ever, this new year's, okay, january, the first, that new year's Eve night, you know, usually I'd be at a party. Usually, you know, you're bringing in the New Year, or whatever. I spent that night fasting Come on, man, and praying. Man, come on and reading the Word bro Right by myself. And I was like, god, I'm going to do that this year. Yeah, and man, some time went by and when I finally grabbed a hold of Jesus, like I was supposed to, he brought her back, come on. So it's so good.
Speaker 2:It's so amazing how he works. You know, you could pray about it every day. Well, god, what do you want from me? What have I got to do, whatever? But until you just surrender and you say, okay, Lord, she's yours, you do whatever you have to do with her, you know, but I found myself praying for a lot, praying for his son, which is my stepson, you know, and it's just, it's amazing what God will do when you finally surrender to him.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because as you put him first, now you see, adrian putting him first, yes, and now you can be the servant of the Lord, god most high, and you can now be the husband that he's called you to be the spiritual leader that I'm supposed to be. And you can only be that husband and that leader because you're a first servant of God Almighty. Yes, and that's the beauty in it. It's like God is saying, hey, come get close to me so I can train you to be who you need to be for her.
Speaker 2:Amen.
Speaker 1:For your stepson and for the church that you call family. Yes, that you call home. That's right, you know. So. Here's the redemption story. Yet again, another chapter called redemption in your book, here called Life right. Yes, you're now forgiven.
Speaker 2:Thank you, Lord.
Speaker 1:Healed, cleansed set free from addiction. Yes, thank you, lord, healed, cleansed, set free from addiction. Yes Amen, hallelujah, praise God. You're back in church all the time, regular, all the time, bro.
Speaker 2:I love to see your face. I was going to say, bro, I love to see you, man.
Speaker 1:You come in and get this big hug and I know it's real. Yes, I know it's genuine. It's not something that's just quick in passing. I know it's because we love each other in Christ and we're brothers and we're there for each other. Amen. The past couple of weeks I mean you talk about another redemptive chapter in this redemption story the past couple of weeks you even opened the service up on Sunday mornings in prayer.
Speaker 1:Such a blessing bro, it's a blessing to have you do it, and let me just ask you this Were there times in your life? Did you ever think that you'd be serving in ministry again, at any level?
Speaker 2:No, no, um, especially up the last several years, divorce, then running wild again, you know whatever. And uh, no, I really hadn't even. That's what's so wild man Like. No, I really hadn't even. That's what's so wild man Like. As we talked about earlier, you're either serving God or you're serving self or serving you know, your light or darkness. And you can be in darkness and not even realize it. Yeah, because maybe you've been in the light before. Yeah, or maybe you've not quite got to the light yet, but you think, I'm all right. I'm all right, I'm all right. Just go to Jesus, make him first. You know, matthew 6, 33 says seek he first and his righteousness, seek the kingdom and his righteousness, and I'll supply all your needs. And when you finally do that, you'll have a relationship that can keep you away from the things that I kept running to. And it's so major man.
Speaker 1:The beauty of it. When I, when I think about, like, what God has brought you through and where you're at now and now you're in church praying, opening up a service I think I think about Paul, used to be known as Saul, and here he is, out there trying to murder Christians and overseeing the death of Christians, and he's got permission to go lock up Christians. But yet God transforms the man, and this man that was headhunting the church literally headhunting the church. I mean he wants them dead or locked up in prison now wrote most of the books in the New Testament of the Bible. You know what I mean. So he goes from trying to cripple the church to trying to strengthen the church. So I just want to encourage the listeners out there.
Speaker 1:If you're that person or if you know someone that you feel you or they are unusable because of their past or their present, which you're going through right now, I want to tell you that your life is not over. What you're going through right now. I want to tell you that your life is not over. Your opportunity to serve Jesus Christ as King of kings and Lord of lords, your Savior, is not over. There's always hope. Yes, you can be part of a redemptive story. You can be part of that redemption story to where, yes, even you too can serve in the house of God again.
Speaker 1:Yes, you know, and I think it's great man, you mentioned that in your testimony. You said that God restoring the years from Joel to 25, that prophecy over your life is even happening right now. You've already said that even here on this episode. You believe that this is the restoration part of that prophecy over your life. Yes, and in your testimony you even mentioned that your wife had mentioned to you and talks about wanting to run a ranch. Yes, and she wants to call this ranch Restoration Ranch. Right, and I think that's beautiful man. So, restoration Ranch. Let's talk about that vision for a moment. Restoration Ranch is a ranch where people can come together and there's a purpose to bring other people to Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, to worship God, to barrel, race, to rope. What's that vision all about?
Speaker 2:Man, it would be great to have them come in. See, I've give clinics in roping before, like give lessons and stuff, and she does lessons in barrel racing as well and if we could have them come in to get lessons and they think they're getting something that they and they are, they're getting lessons to do something they really enjoy doing. But if we can give them jesus, that's what it's all about. That's what it's all about yeah, yeah, if we can give them Jesus, that's what it's all about. That's what it's all about, yeah, yeah, if we can. You know, I'll be glad to teach anybody, to put on clinics, to put on rope in schools, to help people learn to rope. But I first want to tell them about Jesus.
Speaker 1:That's what it's all about, brother.
Speaker 1:And that's how God takes something and makes it successful. Yes, when we point to Jesus Christ first, that's right, amen. Well, guys, I'm going to tell you Daniel Rayner is a real person. This testimony that you've heard today is a real live testimony and God's still working it out. Amen, brother, amen. And if you would like to meet him I hope it's okay for me to say this, but if you would like to meet him, you are more than welcome to attend one of our church services on Sunday mornings at CFO. Doors open at 930 and we begin service at 10 o'clock. God bless you all. Until next time, on the next episode of Beyond Sunday.
