Beyond Sunday
Welcome to Beyond Sunday, the Podcast that takes you deeper into the Word of God throughout your week, with your Host Pastor Lee Day.
It's Time to Inspire, Uplift, and dig deeper. Beyond Sunday starts now!
Beyond Sunday
Deny Self, Find Life
What if the life you’re protecting is the very thing keeping you from truly living? We open Matthew 16:24–26 and get honest about denying self, taking up the cross, and following Jesus when comfort, titles, and fear pull in the other direction.
With Pastor Lee and Erica at the table, we explore how sin bends us inward and how the gospel lifts our eyes to a bigger joy. We talk through the ancient weight of the cross—shame and suffering in plain sight—and why Jesus “despised the shame” for the joy set before Him. That lens changes how we handle work promotions, public pressure, and the temptation to keep our faith quiet to avoid ripples. You’ll hear practical ways to witness with courage, from a simple daily prayer—Lord, who is my one today?—to gentle, Spirit-led questions that open doors: How can I pray for you? Did you find your joy this morning?
We also look at the heart-level meaning of “lose your life to find it.” Identity shaped by the world frays under pressure; identity rooted in Christ holds. Titles aren’t the enemy, but they’re not the treasure. We reflect on Jeremiah’s calling as a picture of the hard, faithful road: predictable paths can be good, yet the narrow path is often the obedient one that glorifies God. If you’ve wrestled with silence at work, spiritual hesitation in public, or the pull to keep the waters calm, this conversation offers clarity and courage to put God first—every room, every decision, every day.
If this spoke to you, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs boldness today, and leave a review so others can find it. What one step will you take this week to be salt and light?
What's going on, everybody? I am Pastor Lee, and I pastor Christ Family Outreach Church, located in Amelia, Virginia. And today at the table, as I promised you last week, we do have a guest, and it is my beautiful bride, Erica. How are you doing?
SPEAKER_00:Doing well.
SPEAKER_02:So it's been a couple of weeks since you were last on the show. And I know that the listeners are glad to have you back. Today's episode is going to get going in Matthew chapter 16. So if you got your Bibles, go ahead and turn there with us. Matthew chapter 16, verses 24 through 26. And it is a tough topic, or at least it can be. Erica, today we're going to be talking on this episode about denying self. And that could be really hard to do.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Matthew 16, 24 through 26. I'm going to read it to you, my friends. Here we go. Then Jesus told his disciples, If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it. But whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? So let's stop right there. There's there's a whole lot happening. Just in that first verse, Erica, in Matthew 16, 24, when when Jesus tells his disciples, if anyone would come after me, let him deny himself. So we want to live a life that honors God. If we want to be Christians, then we've got to deny ourselves. We've got to take up the cross, and we have to follow Jesus. I mean, there's there's a lot packed right there, but but if you're if you're gonna come after me, Jesus says, deny yourself. We're gonna talk about that. In other words, if you want to follow me, if you want to be where I am, you are going to have to deny yourself because I'm going places that your flesh just won't want to go. The Holy Spirit is gonna go places and want to use you, my friends, in places that your flesh at times is gonna become really uncomfortable in. So in order to follow Jesus, we're gonna have to deny ourselves. Because Jesus is gonna go places that your flesh just don't want to go.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I love here how this uh Jesus' proposition addresses, first of all, who this offer is for. And here it says, anyone, anyone who wants to come to me, right?
SPEAKER_02:That's good news.
SPEAKER_00:So it's an invitation for all of us um to follow Jesus and become his disciple, but the proposition has two clauses. First one is what he must deny himself, right? The second one is he must also take up his cross and follow me. Those are the two requirements of being a disciple. And to deny oneself means to set aside one's own interest in exchange for God's interest. In Philippians 2, 3 through 4, it says, do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others. So denying oneself is to putting to death one's own ambitions and desires, which is hard to do, right?
SPEAKER_02:Absolutely, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00:And then the second requirement for being a disciple of Jesus is to take his cross and follow him. And a cross was a Roman public method of executing criminals. It was physically torturous and socially humiliating. Its victims were often stripped naked and nailed to a cross and left to dehydration and suffocation as its death. And they would just be put outside city walls for people to see. A cross was an instrument of painful death and great shame. So the image Jesus is putting into the minds of his disciples is for them to embrace the suffering and shame from the world to the point of rejection, loss, and even physical death.
SPEAKER_02:Take up our cross. Yeah. Here's the thing about sin. Because Jesus says that we've got to deny ourselves. And the truth is all of us are living in these flesh shoots that like the pleasure of what sin can bring at times. So here's the here's the thing about sin. Sin causes us to be self-centered. Would you agree with that? Yeah. It causes us to be self-centered. It it takes our hearts, it takes our focus away from God. And what sin likes to do is sin places our heart and our focus rather than on God, on ourself. And that's what gets so dangerous, right? Because we're to die to self. We're to deny ourselves. And this is the dangerous thing about sin. When we get saved in Christ, denying self is all about focus no longer being on self, but focus being on God the Father. And we see the ugliness, we see the ugliness of pleasing self at the very beginning in the garden with Adam and Eve in Genesis chapter 3. Eve knew God did not want her and Adam eating nor touching fruit from the tree that was in the midst of the garden. But they did it anyway. Why? Because the sixth verse tells us that when she saw the tree was good for food and that it was a delight to the eyes and that it could make one wise, she ate of the fruit and gave some to her husband. Now here's the deal Adam and Eve became self-centered, and they were not God-centered in this moment in the garden. And because of it, sin and death enters into the world.
SPEAKER_00:Once again, denying oneself is putting to death one's own ambitions and desires.
SPEAKER_02:Let me just say this too, right? God didn't just say don't eat of it. He said, Don't touch it. And oftentimes Christians like to, and we've been there ourselves, we all have, let's just be honest. Christians like to say, well, well, you know, I'm not going to partake in it, but I'll get close enough to still be able to be pleased by it.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:It's like, no, no, no, no, no. Look at what God is is telling uh Adam and Eve here. Don't don't eat it and don't even touch it. Don't partake in it. Have nothing to do with it. Have nothing to do with it. And we have to remain God-centered.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I I love Hebrews 12, 2 through 3. It says, Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. And right there, when it says he endured the cross, scorning its shame, that word scorning also meaning despising the shame. When you despise something, it means you give it no value. And when the followers of Jesus denied themselves and took up their crosses, they were despising the things this world values. Do you and I, do we despise, do we give no value of the world, what the world values? They weren't afraid of hatred and punishment because it gives for those who do not follow its ways. And the reason they have so little regard for the pleasures and pains of this world is because they are living for the greater joy, reward, and glory of the kingdom. You know, denying oneself and taking up one's cross is the small gate and the narrow path that leads to life that the Bible talks about.
SPEAKER_02:I like what you said, the greater joy.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:There's a greater joy out there. Uh let's let's touch on the topic found in the 25th verse that we open this podcast reading just for a moment. The 25th verse. Three words if you're taking taking notes. Lost and found. I'm thankful that although I used to be lost, I'm found. And I I'm grateful every Sunday when people choose to come forward and give their lives over to Jesus or rededicate their lives over to Jesus, or we see baptisms taking place just like last week. We had we had 10 baptisms, and the Spirit of God was just so moving, praise the Lord. They they once were lost, but now they're found.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:This is what it says who whoever saves his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for the sake of Christ will find it. And and so when you're walking with God, no matter what he calls you to, when you're walking with God, you're gonna find yourself right where you need to be. Even if the flesh is uncomfortable, you've got to die to self, you've got to deny self. When you follow the steps of Christ, when you, as scripture says that we are to be in step with the Spirit, the Holy Spirit of God, when we follow God, we will always find ourselves right where we need to be. You're never lost, my friends. You're never lost when you're walking in step with the Spirit of God.
SPEAKER_00:What does it mean to lose your life? Okay, it's more than just life, right? That word there means the inner essence or core identity of who a person is. It is no less than a person's heart with all of its loves, desires, and will, plus his mind with its consciousness and reasoning. It is not merely the sum of all of those things about a person. It is who or what that person is. And so when it says here, you know, whoever loses their life will find it. And um, here Jesus is telling the disciples that everyone who seeks to save his life by means of this world will lose it. The world and its kingdoms cannot give or preserve my life or your life.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:It'll actually deform and erase our identities. You know, you think some people think that they'll get it from this world, and really what they're gonna do is lose it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:It'll stomp your destiny and leave no profit or reward in exchange for giving it your all. The promises of this world are all empty and amount to nothing, while the promises of the kingdom of God are guaranteed by God Himself. But right here, how do we save our life? We it's it's it's like an oxymoron by losing it for Christ's sake. That's how, that's how we find our life. If we refuse to invest our life in the world system and instead we invest our life in God's kingdom, that's when we find it. I love in Matthew 6, 19 through 21, where Jesus tells us, do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal, but store up for yourself treasures in heaven where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, there's nothing wrong with wanting to advance forward in life. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be promoted at your job or maybe praying about getting a different job, a better job. But we've got to be so careful that we're always focused on putting Christ first and what he wants in in our lives. Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, we can't we can't get so caught up in in having titles that we forsake the title. Child of God, son and daughter of God, ambassadors of God, representatives of God, messengers of the message, the gospel of Jesus Christ. Like, we want to make sure that we're not so busy in life that we're not finding ourselves busy in the Lord.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:We we we've got to be really careful that our walk with God is more than just consisting of a Sunday morning church service. I mean, church service is great. Sunday mornings, Thursday nights, I mean, that that's great to attend those, but but we're supposed to take what we hear in those services and we're supposed to go out into this world. So as you get your promotion, make sure you take Jesus with you. Yeah. Because I mean, he's there. You just got to make sure you're acknowledging that he is. As you go to a better job, a different job, make sure that you're acknowledging God while you're there. And and you know, I mentioned this just a few weeks ago in a service. If if if you work at a place where you're not allowed to talk about your faith, it's time to bounce out of there. I mean, seriously, honor God. He will find you a a new location, a step out in faith. But I I I would never, I would never work at a place where I had to suppress my faith, where not even suppress it, where I couldn't even talk about it. I I just I'm thankful that that I just don't know what that's like. And I used to work in the public. I mean, I used to, but I used to work um on on a at a college campus that was very extremely liberal, but I never allowed that to stop me from talking about my faith. The jobs are temporary. If they needed to fire me, they needed to fire me. I'd move on and find somewhere else. That's the way I looked at it. But but working for my father, no matter where I find myself, that's all about the eternal stuff. So it's okay to advance, it's okay to get titles, it's it's okay to go to a different place, but just make sure it's doing what God has called you to do. And don't forget to recognize that Jesus, who died for you, is in the room with you. And that's another part of denying self, because often, often we think that we've got to like conceal what we believe to keep from creating waves in the workplace or or out in the public. Well, what I find is that those people have no problem spewing their agendas or or their their political ideologies or or what they don't believe in or what they do believe in. So why should the Christian faith be expected to be any less and just sit over in the corner of the room and be quiet? I truly think that God has called us to be salt and light of the earth. And if we're going to do that, then we've got to be more than just salt and light inside the church house. We've got to go be salt and light outside in the earth, in the world where he's called us to be. That we would not hide our lamp under a under a desk or a table or a bed, but we would set it up for all to see. For all to see. It doesn't matter what job you're at. You shine that light for all to see. That's how Christ intended it to be.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And it's not even at your job. I know one thing that the Lord has really been pressing on me is to be bolder just when I'm out in public. And He has given me the challenge, I would say, of just speaking to one person about him when I go out. And so I'm kind of in constant prayer of who is that one person you want me to witness to while I'm out today? And if I would have started that as a young child, or if I would have seen my parents do that as a young child, I think it would have given me the boldness to do it as an adult. And so by doing this, I'm hoping that it's a testimony not only to the people that I'm speaking to, but also to my children that are with me when I'm speaking, so that they too will have a boldness when they go out and can talk to people about Christ.
SPEAKER_02:That's good. That's good. All right, we're gonna, we're gonna journey back into the passage of scripture. Let's talk for a moment about a self-centered lifestyle. Because Jesus is telling us to deny self. Jesus is telling us to have a Christ-centered, faith-centered life. And the other option to that, Erica, is to be self-centered. And we know we know we don't want that. That that's just gonna lead to failure to destruction. So let's talk for a moment about a self-centered lifestyle because a self-centered lifestyle is a lifestyle that tries to keep an undisturbed day, right? No, no waves, no ripples in the pond in the water. Uh, I just wanted to go my way. I'm keeping it all about me so that I can stay happy. Um, I don't want to face any trials. Uh there's no, again, no waves of ripples in the water. And a self-centered lifestyle will do whatever it takes to keep the waters calm, even if it means walking away from doing something that God Almighty has called them to do. And when we live like that, here's the problem. When we live like that, it does not bring God glory. Uh avoiding the tough stuff, avoiding the uncomfortable things that God may call us to. Uh God calling us into a place that his spirit wants us to be, but our flesh says, no, I don't want to go there. Okay. Avoiding those types of callings, uh, avoiding those types of divine appointments, it does not bring God any glory at all. Like for the example that you just gave, like what God is ministering, Erica, in your life right now. He's discipling, his spirit is discipling you to talk to one person a day, at least one person a day about Jesus. And if you were to go to the grocery store and be in line behind somebody or in front of somebody uh that was also in line and the spirit moves on you to witness to these uh individuals or this person, if you did not do it, that doesn't bring God any glory. Yeah. If if you do do it and the message is accepted, it brings God glory. If you do do it and the message is not accepted, but they hear it and you give it, it still brings God glory. Amen. Because it's strengthening your faith. Yeah, it's it's increasing your faith. I mean, not everybody's always gonna say yes at every invitation. Yeah. But that doesn't mean that we stop giving an invitation, right? So we've got to deny self when it feels uncomfortable, and we just got to open our mouth and trust that God is gonna work and that his spirit is gonna speak through us and give us the words that we need in that moment. And that's what we've got to do. So we've got to be at a point to where we're bringing God glory, even when it's uncomfortable. A self-centered life does not do that. A self-centered life is based off of feelings and emotions and what I'm going through at this time. I just want it to be as easy as possible for myself.
SPEAKER_00:I think when you're living a self-centered life, you don't tune into the Holy Spirit and what he's speaking to you. So, for example, when I'm out in public and I'm praying to the Lord, Lord, just give me who you want me to speak to. And I see someone that I think maybe would it would be a good opportunity to speak to them. And the Lord says, No, not them. It's not their time. I think it's just really important to be in tune with what the Holy Spirit is speaking and what it's doing is it's strengthening my relationship with the Lord.
SPEAKER_01:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:And sometimes it's not even, do you know Jesus as your Lord and Savior? Sometimes He's pressing into my heart to tell people, you know, Jesus sees you and he loves you. Um, just giving them that word of encouragement because you don't know what they went through that day. And maybe they're just asking the Lord for a word of encouragement.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah. Maybe that's all they need.
SPEAKER_00:Just being in tune with the Holy Spirit. But what if I'm not in tune with him and I'm just in tune with what I want to do that day in my busyness of the day, then I'm missing that opportunity to one, glorify him, to strengthen my relationship with him. And I am not losing my life in order to gain it through him, right?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, one of the things about stepping out and just kind of evangelizing like that, because that's really what it is, you're witnessing, you're you're stepping out. It does cause you to have to listen to the spirit of God.
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02:Because you want to hit it at the right moment. You you want to speak to the right person that that the spirit gives you a word for. And and you're right. It it doesn't just have to be, it doesn't have to always be a salvation call. It doesn't have to always be an invitation to church. Those things are great, and I highly recommend it. And we should do those things. But I think there's also times where you just need to look at someone and say, you know, God made this day for you. Yeah. Like that this day is so special and he has included you in it. How is your day that God has given you? How is your day going today? Or, you know, hey, you know, God, God's word says that that he gives us new joy this morning. Did you get yours? Like, how how are you feeling this morning? You know, or is there anything you're going through that that I could just pray for you? Like how can I pray for you? Or hey, do you have a church family? Can I invite you to a church service? There's so many different ways to do it, but but we've got to be tuned in to what the spirit wants us to do in the moment. Because if we listen for the right topic, if we listen for the right word, for the right message for that individual, the spirit will speak and lead God and direct us into it.
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely. And and it's just sometimes doing the harder thing. I know the last time I was on here, we talked about Jeremiah, and I'm just I've been studying um the book of Jeremiah lately, and we had discussed and talked about how his grandfather and his father was a priest, and how really he was next in line to be a priest, and he probably had already started his priestly duties. But how the Lord, um, in Jeremiah 1 3, actually Jeremiah 1 5, it says, Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart. I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. And how the Lord had different plans and minds. And that was to be a prophet. And Jeremiah had two choices. He could have done the easy thing and stayed a priest and followed in those footsteps, or he could have done the hard thing and did what the Lord had called him to do, and that was be a prophet. Because that was not going to be, it was going to be a hard road because nobody wanted to hear what the Lord had to say to them at that time. And so, kind of circling back to denying self, you know, are you and I gonna deny self when we have an easy road to go down? And it could even be a good road. It could be a road that is that that's honoring, that people could look at and say, um, that's a great choice of profession or a great choice of a road that you've decided to go down. Or are we gonna possibly choose whatever the hard road is that the Lord's called us to do? Are we gonna deny ourselves and pick up our cross and follow whatever he asks for us to do?
SPEAKER_02:Absolutely. Denying self, I'm gonna say this before I close in prayer. Time has flown by on this episode. Denying self means putting God first. It is when you recognize that the will of God is far more important than your own desires or plans. Let's pray. Father, I thank you so much for the listeners. Lord, I pray that this episode of Beyond Sunday has just been truly a blessing, something that you will use to strengthen them and to refresh them, to encourage them this week, to encourage them. Uh Father, you your ways are always the right ways. Your ways and your thoughts are higher than our ways and thoughts. And we thank you for your promises. We thank you for your truth from your word. Lord, I pray in the name and the blood of Jesus that we would be focused this week and every day moving forward of making sure that we're not self-centered, but that we're Christ-centered, we're God-centered. We want to have your word at the center of our lives. Lord, that we would focus on pleasing you and not our flesh and seeing your will for our lives manifested each and every day. And we ask all this in the mighty and the precious cleansing, washing blood of Jesus Christ and all God's people said together, my friends. Amen, amen, and amen. Amen. Until next time on Beyond Sunday, God bless.
