Breaking The Cycle

He overdosed at 16, watched addiction shape his childhood, and carried a kind of shame that’s hard to explain unless you’ve lived it. Nick Newcomb joins us on Beyond Sunday to share a testimony that starts with constant moving, drugs and alcohol on the table.

We talk honestly about what it feels like to realize your “normal” isn’t normal, how substance use escalates from weed and alcohol into pills, and how one overdose can change the way you see your future. Nick also opens up about prison visits, short phone calls, and the choice to forgive rather than live in resentment. Then the story turns toward grief and responsibility as he shares the loss of his brother to an overdose, and the guilt that followed.

From there, we get into marriage, mental health, and hope. Nick and Kayla face anxiety, depression, and heartbreak, until they reach a point where they can’t carry it alone. A Bible bought at a store, a friend’s invitation, and a first Sunday at Christ Family Outreach Church leads to tears, an altar call, and the beginning of a new legacy for their family, including powerful changes in the lives of loved ones.

If you need a story about faith, addiction recovery, forgiveness, and breaking generational curses, press play, share it with someone you love, and subscribe so you don’t miss what God does next. Would you leave a review and tell us what part of Nick’s testimony you needed to hear?

Transcript

Welcome And Invitation To Church

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Hey, what's going on, everybody? Welcome to another episode of Beyond Sunday. I'm your host, Pastor Lee Day, and I pastor Christ Family Outreach Church located in Amelia Courthouse, Virginia. I want to encourage you to join us if you're able to get out the CFO this Sunday. The service will begin at 10 a.m. And we are seeing the Holy Spirit of God reviving the hearts and the minds, hallelujah, of his people. Lives are being changed, and I want to tell you and encourage you that yours could be next. So come on out and join us. On this episode of Beyond Sunday, I have two guests with me. Uh, one is my wife, Erica. She's back again. She's gonna help me do this interview. How are you doing, boo?

SPEAKER_03 0:43

I'm doing great.

SPEAKER_00 0:44

And then also with us, we've got someone brand new to the podcast. He's a brother in Christ. He attends CFO Church with us. And I've personally seen such growth in his life since he's been attending Brother Nick Newcomb. How are you doing, my brother? I'm good, my man. Nick, Nick, and I want to make it very clear before we begin that he what he shares today is not not to make anyone look bad. It's not to bash anybody. As a matter of fact, he loves his family very much. Amen. And and he's seen some change in the lives of some family members recently. Every single one of them. And we could talk about that. And and and what you want people to do is to take this testimony and you want it to be able to encourage people. You you want people that are out there struggling, uh, feeling discouraged, struggling with fear, anxiety, feeling unloved. You want them to know where you came from. And if God did a work through you, he can do it through them. Amen. And what you've come to know since you've accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, you and your wife, by the way, have done that. Praise God. What what you now understand is that the people in your life closest to you when you were younger, they were fighting the demons attack in their own lives, this this spiritual attack. And and and in your testimony, you say that it was also generational curses that had followed down through the bloodline for years before them. But praise God, it has stopped with you, hasn't it, brother? No, no, you're a steenhold. Yeah, gone. It's just done. Done. It's just done. Uh so glory to God Almighty, hallelujah, for that. And and we've seen it. I mean, I I can testify, Eric can could testify to seeing your family faithfully in church just about every single time the doors are open, and we can see the joy of the Lord on you guys.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

Thank you. I love it.

SPEAKER_00 2:27

Even your daughter Parker, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 2:29

He's the one that encourages me more than anybody. Amen. When she's singing inside, I want to sing louder than her, she than she does. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:36

Yeah, praise God. I love

Nick’s Unstable Childhood Homes

SPEAKER_00 2:38

it. We're gonna we're gonna jump right into it, Nick. You you grew up in Chesterfield County and you moved around a lot, and from kindergarten to high school, how many different times would you say your family moved?

SPEAKER_01 2:50

Um at least half a dozen that I can just remember, Claire's day. You know, just it was either aunts and uncles, close family friends that we stayed with, but it was never actually my home until I moved it with my nana. And when I got older, because I just didn't want didn't want to move no more.

SPEAKER_00 3:08

So the consistency you had was is that it was the consistent, it was the normal to be bouncing around. Oh, yeah. That that that was your normal. Yeah. How hard was it? Because in your testimony, it says that you made friends anywhere you went, but by the time you had made friends, you guys were always moving whenever summer break showed up. Yeah. So was it difficult not having that consistency as just staying in one place and that being your normal as a child, or did you end up getting used to it? What did that look like?

SPEAKER_01 3:33

Well, you when you're growing up, you know, you want to go to sleepovers, you want to have friends come over, you want to throw birthday parties at your house. I I couldn't do that, you know. It was always, let me come to your house. I don't want you, you can't come to my house because it ain't my house to say you can come over, you know. Right, right. But back then it wasn't it wasn't that bad to me though. Like I thought it was pretty cool, you know, different places, different family, hanging out with other people. Right. But when you go in someone else's house and you see the stability of someone's home, you're like, man, I kind of wish I had this. Wish you had it.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

Yeah. You know, one one thing that the listeners need to understand, Nick, is that you guys were not moving because your family was upgrading. In your testimony, you say that you you weren't moving because y'all were getting nicer homes and as as times went on. Let everybody know just a little bit of the situation. Why did you guys move around so much?

SPEAKER_01 4:19

Well, it would be dad, mom had a good job for a while, and they could afford the place, but then that would fall through, and then next thing you know, is like, all right, we gotta find our next place. And with some people, my mom and dad, they would, you know, they'd get in arguments with soon people seen her later because alcohol and stuff, no one wanted to really be friends, something would happen, and it was you know, pack your stuff and get on out of here. Yeah, so it was always on.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

So between burning bridges and unpaid rent, yeah, fighting with landlords. Yeah. Um, you said that through all of that, as much as that became your normal, as you started getting older to kind of understand some things that were going on, you said you said that it began to bring shame and embarrassment over time in your life because of what you were lacking as as a family and as a child. Talk about that for a moment. What was that all about in that part of your testimony?

SPEAKER_01 5:08

Well, it was kind of like, you know, like I said earlier, like you want to have friends come over, you want to hang out with your buddies and have sleepovers, you know, let's let's all hang out at Nick's house this weekend. I just I never had that, you know. And I really I'd see other kids have it, birthday parties at their house, throwing parties. I wanted that, you know. I never I can say I didn't I didn't have my own bedroom until I was probably 15 or so. When I moved one time and the people we were staying with, they built a little little uh drywall bedrooms in their basement for me and my little brother, just so we had somewhere that was ours. That's cool. And that was the first time I ever had my own room. At 15. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:46

Nick, looking back at that um time in your life, can you see the hand of God and just his his provision and just the little things that um where he was at, even when you didn't recognize it was the people too, because then my mom, she had some friends that were just down-to-earth people that just wanted to help us.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

Yeah. So whenever they were there, it was, you know, I feel comfortable with them there. This is family, this feels real. But you know, sooner or later that would that fell through as well.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

Yeah. Did you guys grow up in church or did y'all go to church a little bit?

SPEAKER_01 6:21

I remember going to Sunday school every now and then on the weekends, but I I look back on now, I think if they just wanted to get us out of the house, yeah, because we had nothing else to do really. It was kind of like a babysitter, I guess. Yeah, yeah. But I do remember going to Bible classes, Bible school and stuff. Yeah. So I always I've always believed in God every single day. Yeah. But at the same time, it's like, you know, I got other stuff to worry about, you know. I never really put it no one ever really put it in the forefront of my mind that this is all for him and we should live for him, you know.

SPEAKER_00 6:54

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It was just something in addition to do. Yeah. And I got it. I got it. Growing up, uh, it was just you and your little brother Jeff. Y'all, y'all had each other. Yeah, that was my my best friend. You guys were the pair. And you guys were surrounded growing up by drugs and alcohol on a daily basis, even it was

Drugs Become The Family Normal

SPEAKER_00 7:14

normal. At a young age, right?

SPEAKER_01 7:15

It was normal.

SPEAKER_00 7:16

Uh, how old do you think you were when you first realized, hey, something something, something's not right. Like this drugs and alcohols is is is my normal around here.

SPEAKER_01 7:25

Probably when I you go to other people's houses and you look around, it's like, oh, where's the cabinet full of beer and liquor? And you know, where's you go to my house, there was weed on the table, every pong is around. It was it was the normal. I'd go over there and be like, oh man, it's not normal, actually. And then I'd have friends come over to my house and be like, dude, this is crazy. I ain't this is not what it's supposed to be, you know. I could see it in them that, oh, this ain't normal to them, so I know it ain't normal to me.

SPEAKER_00 7:49

Yeah, yeah. And in your testimony, it says that it had become so normal to you at a young age that you never really questioned it. No. Because it was just always there, right?

SPEAKER_01 7:57

I didn't, not at all. When it was times when, I mean, I don't want to I'm gonna say it though, but they'd make their deals to go get their stuff. I I'm putting my order in too to get mine from the same person. So it was always it was just natural. It was natural.

SPEAKER_00 8:13

Yeah, yeah. And it was available. Absolutely. How old were you the very first time you tried smoking weed? 13. 13. And would you say that marijuana was the gateway?

SPEAKER_01 8:23

Oh, yeah, it started at all.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

Yeah. So did you smoke first or drink first? Smoke. At what time at what age did you roundabout start drinking?

SPEAKER_01 8:32

Probably late 14, 15 years old. Okay. And that was just, you know, you round on aunts and uncles, and they'll hand you a beer, friends, family friends, you know.

SPEAKER_00 8:41

Now you got into weed at 13, right? Alcohol 14, late 14 into age 15. What what type of drugs came after the the weed and and the alcohol?

SPEAKER_01 8:52

Pills, prescription pills. There was a few times I tried cocaine, and I kind of got a glimpse of that, and I thought, like, well, I kind of I really like that. So I knew I needed to stay away from that. Yeah. When I first couple times I tried cocaine, I was like, oh, I really like that. And that's when I knew, like, hey, that's not good. Yeah. Yeah. If I like that, I see what it does to people, I need to back away from that. Yeah. And I believe that was God too telling me, like, well, you're you're pushing the boundaries right there, you know.

SPEAKER_00 9:20

Yeah. Now, was that at a was that at a party setting? Was that a party scene, or was that just friends? Just friends hanging out.

SPEAKER_01 9:26

Yeah. When it was there, it's like, hey, you want to try this? Yeah, why not? Yeah. Why not?

SPEAKER_00 9:30

Yeah. In your testimony, you you actually um say that as a teenager, um, everybody came to hang out at your house. Yeah. Why was that?

SPEAKER_01 9:39

We you could do whatever you wanted. You know, you can come over, bring your beer, bring your alcohol, it's all sitting around outside and drink and stuff, and nobody ever told you not to, you know. And if they did, I I caused an uproar. It was no, you don't tell me what to do, you know. Yeah. I thought I was the boss of my own house because a lot of times, you know, I was.

SPEAKER_00 9:59

How old were you by the time that the smoking and the drinking was going on? How old were you when you begin to think, wait a minute, gotta be something else to life other than this?

SPEAKER_01 10:09

This change 17 when I when I started to realize, like, hey, you turned 18, you mess up, you're not gonna, you're I'm going to jail, you know, it's no longer I'm just a kid. I need to wake up a little bit, you know. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:21

That there would be more consequences. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:23

I was scared of that because I I saw people go to jail a lot and I was like, I don't want nothing to do with that.

SPEAKER_03 10:27

So in the midst of doing those things as a teenager, was there a void you were trying to fill? Was there just an emptiness there that you didn't realize you were trying to feel fill um by doing those things? Or was it just normal?

SPEAKER_01 10:47

It was normal, and I guess the two of them sometimes I felt alone, you know, because I there was a few years when I was growing up when my my mom would be in prison or jail and my dad would be the same way, and there was times where they both were locked up, so it was just I had my free reins to do, and my my nana did everything she could, but she couldn't. She was older, she knows she couldn't really couldn't if I left the house and I didn't answer my phone, you don't know you didn't know where I was. Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_00 11:12

Yeah. So as you got as you got older, Nick, the drugs got harder. And at 16,

The Overdose That Should Have Killed

SPEAKER_00 11:18

you end up overdosing. Yes. So 16 years old, you've you've overdosed, and praise God he kept you alive. But just kind of walk us through, walk us through that moment. You know, were you at were you at home? Were you at Unanists?

SPEAKER_01 11:31

I was at my buddy's house in Denwoody. I remember one guy came over, had a handful of pills, and we started drinking. I took, I think I took nine or so of them. And last thing I remember is waking up in the hospital to my older cousin dragging me out. Yeah, I don't I don't know if they had done anything to me to wake me up in there, but I know I blacked out, woke up in the hospital. That's the only thing I remember. Wow. And my nana was so mad at me that summer. Yeah, I didn't I was grounded. I couldn't leave the house. I I couldn't do nothing. I felt like a good nana.

SPEAKER_03 12:02

Praise the Lord for the nanas out there.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

I was disappointed in myself that I hadn't made I disappointed her. Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_00 12:07

Yeah, but you look at this, brother Nick, and you think, man, this is this is a testimony of what you will not let your daughter walk.

SPEAKER_01 12:16

Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_00 12:16

You know, you will not raise her in a house the way that that you were raised in certain situations and circumstances. And it really is breaking the the curse. It really is breaking the chain. And and praise the Lord, you know. Speaking of speaking of chains broken, your your mom has been baptized at church. Amen. Amen. You're the one that helped her, you know, help baptize her. Yeah. You know, so not not only have you broken chains, your mom has broken chains. You know, I mean that that's that's so beautiful. You guys are coming to church at the same church. You know, she she's attending CFO as well. And I just see a joy in her face when she's there. You know, she's coming to Bible study, she's she's hanging out with people, you know.

SPEAKER_01 12:53

It's like she never had friends like the one she has at CFO. Yeah. Friends she had when I was growing up were not, I look back, not they, you know, they didn't have their best interest.

SPEAKER_00 13:02

Imagine how your life could have been different had she had plugged in to a church back then and had those types of friends that she has now. And I want to bring that point up because praise God she's doing that now. But I want to bring that point up because there's some parents that may be listening out there right now, or even some some young adults that one day will be parents, and they need to understand that the way

Prison Visits And Choosing Forgiveness

SPEAKER_00 13:26

they're living right now really does matter, doesn't it? Absolutely. I mean, it it truly does matter whether we are going to set our children up for failure and drag uh prior generational curses into the next generation, or even start and create a generational curse for the next generation. So so it's extremely important. Uh, but you had mentioned that both mom and dad had gone in and out of prisons at times, and because of that, you ended up living with your nana. Yes. She ended up raising you for a while. Uh for some people out there struggling with that type of lifestyle and and they've got children. Let them know, Nick, how hard it was as a child to go visit your parents in prison and have to see them in that setting.

SPEAKER_01 14:09

Well, I wanted to let it be known too, like my mom and them, they made their mistakes, but I don't like hate them for none of the none of them that they did. You know, that's right. That's right. I don't have no anger toward them. Yeah. I look back now and I know it was not them. It was the alcohol and the drugs that controlled them.

SPEAKER_00 14:27

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 14:27

It was the enemy. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:29

It was the enemy at work. Absolutely. Yeah. And because you see the joy that your mom has now as a born-again child of God. Absolutely. You know what I mean? So you can see the difference. Oh, you can absolutely see the difference.

SPEAKER_01 14:41

And I mean, we all still, I'm not, I fall short every day on the glory of God. Same here. Yeah. I'm I don't raise my daughter to the perfect of perfect standards, but I know I'm going to do. I always told myself when I was growing up, I was like, I saw what not to do, you know? Yeah. And now I've used that to be like, all right, well, I didn't I saw that, I'm not gonna do that, we're gonna do it this way.

SPEAKER_00 15:02

Right, right. But not only did you see it, you also did it. Yeah. Some of it. Yes. Right. Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:07

But yeah, it was tough going to, I mean, Riverside. There was times where my father was in uh Greensville, and it was times when it was behind glass for most of it. There was other times where they got upgraded to being able to sit at a table with them and have snacks and drinks with them every now and then, but that was only for half an hour, 45 minutes, you had to say bye sooner or later. Yeah. And that was tough. There's a lot of letters, a lot of writing letters, a lot of phone calls at eight o'clock at night, and you're talking for a minute and you're telling them everything, you know, and the next thing you know, you have 60 seconds left on this call. And it's like, man, you know.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

Yeah, that stinks.

SPEAKER_01 15:43

Yeah, it does.

SPEAKER_00 15:44

And I just want the parents to be able to hear that that are listening, you know, because the drug and the drinking, the partying is not worth it. No. So so if you're if you're listening to this episode and and you're one of those that are struggling, I want to encourage you in the Lord that you you need to ask the Holy Spirit to to come in. You need to accept Jesus Christ as well.

SPEAKER_01 16:01

And also if you if you have resentment towards your parents because they messed up in later, you gotta let it go. Because you only have one mom and dad. Absolutely. You know, if I if I hated them to this day, my daughter wouldn't have grandparents, she would not have a grandma or a papa, you know. But that's that's not what I want. I want that's right. I want everybody to be together. Yeah, you want the family whole. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 16:23

As as it should be, right? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 16:25

As it should be. That's what I wanted when I was growing up. That's what I want, you know, now.

SPEAKER_00 16:28

Yeah. So your new normalcy was living with your nana. Um, and and that was that was some stability there, right? Praise God. Uh, but at that time, unfortunately, you're still using drugs and drinking on a daily basis. I didn't stop. Now you just mentioned too, you were living with your nana when when you overdosed, right? Yeah. Uh, but then comes your senior year in high school.

Meeting Kayla And Losing Nana

SPEAKER_00 16:49

And your senior year in high school, you you met the girl that would end up being your wife.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

Praise God. Well, be funny story about that. I've met her in fifth grade. Did you really? Yes. Wow. I remember going to the movies with her in sixth grade and her holding my hand. Come on, man. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:05

Okay. So I was going to say high school sweeties, but we we all way back to do with me back then.

SPEAKER_01 17:11

And I had moved away for a while, and that's why I was like, well, my senior, my freshman year, my mom was like, Well, you're gonna go to Meadowbrook, and I was like, I don't want to go to Meadowbrook. I want to move in with my grandma and go to Manchester. You know, I knew people there from sixth grade and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so yeah, we didn't That was the great reunion. Yeah, and I remember she uh she was dating this guy, and I heard her they had broken up, and then I set my little snap, my little my trim my strap, you know. Yeah, I see her in the hallway and every dad, like, hey Kayla, you look really pretty today. And I just I did that over and over and over again.

SPEAKER_00 17:45

Oh, do you still do that tour? She's walking down the hall to find out how pretty she is. Absolutely. Okay, okay. Shortly after you guys kind of reunited, if you will, your Nana passed.

SPEAKER_01 17:56

Yeah, she had stage four COPD.

SPEAKER_02 17:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 17:59

And you say in your testimony that at that point in life that had been the most difficult time in your life.

SPEAKER_01 18:05

She was the rock of the family. Yeah. She was the one that if you got kicked, if you were homeless, you can't even live with Nana. At one point when I was growing up, there was 11 people in that little bitty house.

SPEAKER_00 18:16

Wow, come on, man. Yeah, come on. Well, let me just say this, man, because as as messed up as certain situations sound, and I'll tell you, it sounds like you guys always had somewhere to land, which says a lot about a family.

SPEAKER_01 18:28

Yeah, you know, hey, may not have been perfect situations, but but they opened their homes. I I always had somewhere, you know. And that's God too, keeping a lookout on us. Like I never praise God, I didn't sleep on the street, I didn't sleep in a car. It was we know we always had somewhere. Yeah, there was always good people around us that wanted to help.

SPEAKER_00 18:44

Praise God. Praise God.

SPEAKER_01 18:46

And sooner or later, they, you know, uh drugs and alcohol fighting, and it's just like, you know, it ain't worth it no more, you know.

SPEAKER_00 18:51

Time time to find somewhere else. Yes. So Kayla actually um ends up helping you through the time of grieving and mourning the loss of Nana, right? Yeah. And um just talk about that a little bit, you know. How how was she able to be your solid rock?

SPEAKER_01 19:07

Well, she was the one I went to now because everybody was still doing their thing, but I was like, well, she kept me focused, singular focus, like, hey, all right, well, I'm getting older. I don't want to lose you, I want to provide for you, I want to build a life, you know. So she just she just kept me going, I'd say. I didn't want to mess up because for her.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

Yeah, right. I get you, I get you. And in your testimony, you you said, and I quote this, talking about Kayla. For some reason, she loved me despite all the stuff that she has seen. End quote.

SPEAKER_01 19:40

I remember her telling me that she was like, I when she first walked in the house and saw all the people in there, she had never been like that. You know, she grew up in Deer Run, mom and dad, it's a little suburban life, you know. She had no idea she had no idea what she was walking into. And I'm surprised that it did not scare her. And I tell her now, I was like, You should have ran. I was like, you should have ran. But praise God, she didn't, and she stayed with me.

SPEAKER_00 20:04

So because basically, after going through so much together, you guys really bonded. You know, like like she she dug in, she was there for you.

SPEAKER_01 20:11

Yeah, and and and I think that's I would not be where I am today without her. Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_00 20:16

Well, God brought her into your life, amen. And we'll we'll talk about it that in just a moment, but she had a lot to do with you guys coming to church and you know, getting getting on track with your faith. Uh over the next few years, um you guys were the first out of y'all's friendship circle, really, to to get your own place. And you guys were at hey, look, a product of the environment, you begin doing what was done for you. You guys begin housing and sheltering other family members, yeah. And basically, in your words, acting like parents and providers to them, correct?

SPEAKER_01 20:50

Yeah, there was there was moments and times where my mom lived with me, my dad lived with me, I had cousins that came and lived with me. Yeah, I had an aunt that came knocking on my door one night because she had nowhere to go either. You know, I was the one that became like my nana, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

Hey, Nick's got a house.

SPEAKER_01 21:07

Yeah, yeah. Nick will help us.

SPEAKER_00 21:08

Yeah, we'll we'll we'll head over.

SPEAKER_01 21:09

And that's all that's been a detriment to me too, because like I've always wanted to just help people. Yeah. Because, you know, it's just me, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

Yeah, yeah. Well, oftentimes people, brother Nick, who have been through a lot want to reach out and help people that are going that are going through something.

SPEAKER_01 21:23

Yeah, because I know pain and what it is, I guess what it feels like to not have somewhere to go, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 21:30

Yeah. Your your house back then was known as the place where anyone could come hang out, just like it was when you were a child, right? Oh yeah. You know, and and in your testimony, you say anyone was welcome and anything they wanted to bring up as well.

SPEAKER_01 21:45

I loved it. I I had the party house, you know. I I I had no complaints about it when I was there. I was like, Yeah, come on over. There was times where I'd go to work and Kayla would be hanging out with my friends at home doing just because they had nowhere to go.

SPEAKER_00 21:57

Right, right. But then something happens, you know. So that that really is a wake-up call for a lot

Brother’s Overdose And Heavy Guilt

SPEAKER_00 22:03

of people. Your your brother passed away by a drug overdose in May of 2020. And as you got older, you begin to focus more on your future. This is what it says in your testimony. You you begin to focus more on your future, but your brother continued falling deeper into the drugs and alcohol. Yeah. And because of that, you struggled. Talk about that for a little bit. Why were why were you struggling? What what was the enemy getting at you with?

SPEAKER_01 22:27

Well, he passed away in yeah, May of 2020 to an overdose. I remember it being one night my mom calling me saying we can't get a hold of him, we don't know where he is. But that wasn't that was not uncommon. You know, I was like, no, he'll turn his phone on, he'll charge it, and he'll be home in the morning. Right. Well, he didn't come home that next morning, you know. So that was really tough. I felt like a lot of blame to that because I was the one that showed him everything first. And when I was growing older and getting older and trying to get my life together, trying to figure out my future, I just I let him spiral down his hole. And once when he was gone, I I regreted myself a lot, I guess, because I was I didn't do enough. I want to say I was I'm I was a big brother, you know. Right. I'm supposed to look out for you, I'm supposed to beat up the bullies for you, I'm supposed to be the hand to reach out for you. And a lot of times I just I shunned him away sometimes. Yeah. I just didn't want to deal with his problems as well. But I didn't see how deep down and how far gone he actually was until he was gone.

SPEAKER_00 23:26

Yeah, and you use what you mean by just to make it clear to the listeners, what you mean by you showed them the stuff. You're the one that introduced him to weed, correct? Yeah. And that had a lot of play in in as far as feeling guilty because you were thinking, well, I introduced him to the gateway of what could have led to other things. And I think it's important that you bring that up because there could be people listening right now that that maybe are using or even dealing or giving or gifting drugs to other people. And maybe this could be your wake-up call to just stop because you never know what's what's coming, right?

SPEAKER_01 24:06

Yeah, yeah. I never would have thought he wouldn't be here today. Yeah. We I remember we had a conversation right before a few months prior. He was getting I was getting ready to turn 25. And I was telling him, I was like, Jeff, I was like, you see everything we've been through and how much life we've already lived. I was like, I'm only we're only twenty I'm turning twenty-five. We still have so much more time in front of us, we can change everything.

SPEAKER_00 24:27

Yeah. In 2021, you and Kayla

Marriage Strain And Infertility Pain

SPEAKER_00 24:31

get married. Yes, right? And later that year, your daughter Parker is born, and she filled, as in your words, she filled a hole in y'all's lives. She did. And you guys loved being parents and very quickly said, Hey, we wanna we wanna have another. Right. Um, but you guys did not have another. It it just wasn't working. No. And uh what was the time like in your marriage having to deal with the struggle of not being able to have another child? Because I know that there's a time where you say that Kayla was really having a hard time. She was really struggling.

SPEAKER_01 25:04

Well, the first like few months to a year, it's like, you know, it'll happen whenever it happens, you know. It just we were never planning for Parker either. It just had she just she just happened. So after a while of being like, all right, we're gonna plan it, we're gonna try and do it on the time, you know, and it and it just it didn't happen, and months turned into years, and it still didn't happen. And it started to grow like a little bit of resentment toward each other, you know, of being like, Well, what is wrong with us? What are we doing wrong? Why isn't it happening? Starting to think like something's wrong with each other, you know. So it was it was tough. I mean, even Parker prays for a little baby brother and sister, and that it sounds really sweet stuff, man. But man, it breaks your heart when you see her and she's praying for one. And it's like, man, I would do anything just to give you one right now.

SPEAKER_00 25:49

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Well, you know, if if it if it's God's will, it's gonna happen. Amen. Amen. Um, but now you got everybody who's listening to this podcast probably gonna start praying that y'all have them. So who knows, man? You'll have to have I'll have 10 twins, triplets, who knows what's getting ready to take place, man. Yes, yes, but but it's God's will, you know. And man, I mean, wouldn't it be just so beautiful if now that you guys are in church and you're living for the Lord, and if uh if God chooses to just to the church was, you know, it was starting to be to the point where like we can't keep holding this in, we got to give this over to somebody.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

Because it at times was like, I was losing my wife, she didn't want to talk to me on sometimes. We didn't the resentment between us, the gap got bigger and bigger and bigger between us. But Lord God, He He was the one that brung us closer together.

SPEAKER_00 26:38

Amen. Amen. Yeah, because she was she was fighting some depressions, some anger, right? Some some anxiety.

SPEAKER_01 26:44

And I don't want to tell her testimony, she's got her own story about that all, but I could see it in her that it was getting deeper and deeper that something was wrong with her or me, or vice versa, you know.

SPEAKER_00 26:55

Yeah, but something needed to change.

SPEAKER_01 26:57

Yes, yeah, and what changed was our entire

Bibles Bought And Fear Of Church

SPEAKER_01 27:00

mindset on life.

SPEAKER_00 27:01

Amen. Amen. And got only God could do that. Only God could open your eyes.

SPEAKER_01 27:06

Only one.

SPEAKER_00 27:06

Yeah. So in I want to read this in John 8, 36, it says, So if the sun sets you free, you will be free indeed. And that and that's exactly that's exactly what what happened in y'all's lives. And we're gonna we're gonna transition into that piece of your testimony because one day Kayla asked to go to a store. Yeah, second in Charles. Yeah, she loves shopping, she loves shopping. And and you noticed she's over there in the book section taking a look. Tell everybody what she's looking for.

SPEAKER_01 27:33

A Bible. Yeah, she is looking for a Bible, yeah. And I was a little confused on what she was doing. So I was like, Well, what are we what you doing? Because we've we've we had talked about churches a little pre leading up to it, you know, but it was always just a conversation, right? But then her she'll tell her testimony one day, I'm sure. But she went to one looking, and next thing you know, we're both checking out of Second Charles with Bibles in our hands. And Wow. Yeah, because you end up getting one as well.

SPEAKER_00 28:00

Yeah, right? Yes.

SPEAKER_03 28:02

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 28:03

That's so good, man. That's so good. Now tell everybody. So you just you just mentioned that that you guys have been talking about churches, but really never really made a move, you know, as far as something that was permanent.

Fantasy Football Leads To CFO

SPEAKER_00 28:16

We were scared, yeah. And then a friend of yours who faithfully attends CFO church.

SPEAKER_01 28:20

Oh, he's a good man.

SPEAKER_00 28:21

He is a good brother in Christ. He he invites you guys to a Sunday service, right? And and and I love that. That I just want the listeners to understand how important an invitation to church is. We can't always assume that someone else is gonna do the inviting. Yes, you know, like what if this man never would have invited you? You you know what I mean? Like you wouldn't be at this table, most likely, right now.

SPEAKER_01 28:41

Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_00 28:42

And who knows where your family would be at?

SPEAKER_01 28:43

And it's funny that it was random because I had I've known him for a while, you know, at working with him. We worked together for almost eight years, and I never really talked to him. Yeah, but one day he just looked at me and was like, hey, you want to join my fantasy football team? And I was like, Yeah, man, I love it. I love football. Yeah. Next thing you know, we're on the phone, they're getting at me because my tongue is dirty and I'm not, you know. And next thing you know, I'm like, Well, where's this church at, man? Where's this church at?

SPEAKER_00 29:08

Hey, come on, man, I love that.

SPEAKER_01 29:10

Where's this church at? And I look it up and I'm like, oh man, it is 15 minutes from my house. I was like, I turn right and I don't stop, and I'm there.

SPEAKER_02 29:17

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 29:17

So I did not know that part of the testimony. So so he invites you in to a fantasy football league.

SPEAKER_01 29:23

Fantasy football league.

SPEAKER_00 29:24

And that that's his way of getting you popped up into a door. Yeah, he got to do it. I I I love that. You know, it somebody listening out there needs to be encouraged. I'm encouraged by that. Yeah, but how how we should be encouraged by inviting others to be involved and using that as a conduit to be able to share an opportunity for someone to witness and hear the gospel. And I just think that's beautiful because it's really this really was the invitation that God was going to use to change the life of your family forever. That God was going to use to restore your marriage, to renew your mind, to redeem you, to wash you, to cleanse you, to forgive you. And look, man, because of it, your mom ends up coming to church and receiving Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. You know, I mean, it's just it's just beautiful, but it's because someone invited you to a fantasy football league.

SPEAKER_01 30:10

Oh, yeah. And my wife, she I'm up, she's a football fan in her own way, but I'm obsessed with football. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when I tell her now, I was like, hey, you know, fantasy football kind of like changed our whole life. She's like, Yeah, well, well, well, well, fantasy there, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:25

So you guys show up to to service. You said that in your testimony says you felt totally out of place.

SPEAKER_01 30:30

Oh man, it was, yeah. But y'all have done a great job by creating a beautiful, beautiful, humbling, inviting church.

SPEAKER_00 30:37

Oh, praise God. It really is the spirit of God because whether we started out when it was just 20-some people in our living room to now this past Sunday, over 500 people there, it still feels like family. Yeah. No matter how big it's gotten as it grows, it still feels like family. And that's one thing that, and I appreciate you saying it, that's one thing that that's so many people say when they come. They said, even as large as it is, it still feels like family. How do you keep how do you keep that connection? And and and my thing is, is this it's just the Holy Spirit's doing it, and relationships are real. And if you want to come get involved, you're welcome to get involved and and come be part of the family. Uh, so you guys get into service, and in your testimony, you say that you guys are tearing up during worship. Amen. That's just the Holy Spirit.

SPEAKER_01 31:26

Word is smacking me right in my chest. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:28

Right in my chest. Not only in worship, you you said that you're tearing up during the sermon. What what what's what's going on, man, between the two of you? What are you guys feeling?

SPEAKER_01 31:36

Uh confusion on like, what this is this real? Are we gonna do this? And then you made the altar car, I mean, altar

Altar Call And A New Start

SPEAKER_01 31:44

call, and I just shot my hand up. Nothing stopped me, nothing prompted me. It just shot in the air. And I remember my life, she said she like opened her eye a little bit and saw that my hand was up, and she put hers up too. Yeah, and I was like, and then I love that, man. I love that. And then you said, Hey, you I see you, I see you there, and and you was like, Oh, y'all married? I'm like, Yeah, we're married, and that changed everything, Lee. It changed everything, man.

SPEAKER_03 32:08

Praise God, how long ago was that?

SPEAKER_01 32:11

Uh April 13th of last year.

SPEAKER_00 32:13

Yeah, I was gonna say it's just over a year. Time has flown by.

SPEAKER_03 32:16

No, it just when um people come to church and they're there, it's like I can't remember church without them.

SPEAKER_00 32:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:26

You know, yeah, they just automatically feel like the family the entire time. Oh, I don't remember not, I don't remember going before. I've never not going.

SPEAKER_03 32:35

Yeah, it's like it just to see them as a family go up to the altar and pray. Yeah, and you know, so there's so many people that that maybe that's their first time at church, and they see you and your wife and Parker go to the altar and y'all are praying, and they probably think, Man, I just am such a mess.

SPEAKER_01 32:54

No, I'm not sure. I look at this family.

SPEAKER_03 32:58

Let's look at I look at this family and they have it all together. And so that's what's so powerful about our testimonies, is because we were all a mess before. That's right. But God does such a good job redeeming, restoring, making all things new that people don't see that when they see you anymore. They see something brand new.

SPEAKER_00 33:19

Redeemed.

SPEAKER_01 33:19

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:20

And so it's just it's so it's so awesome.

SPEAKER_01 33:23

Yeah, because I don't have it together, but when I go up there, I know I'm not up there for you know everybody else. I'm up there for me.

SPEAKER_03 33:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:30

Amen.

SPEAKER_00 33:30

I I love to see you go up there and you're up there praying over your daughter, and it it's just it's just awesome, man.

SPEAKER_01 33:36

She will whisper in my ear, Daddy, can we go pray on the stairs? Oh yeah, let's go. Let's go.

SPEAKER_00 33:41

Let's go. Praise God, praise the Lord. And that's training a child in the way that they should go. And I'm I'm I'm I'm proud of you for doing that, brother. That's what it's about. Um, so many, so many adults out there would love to have a a do-over because they did not teach their children to do that.

SPEAKER_01 33:55

And what's crazy is like I think it was last week or the week before, there was a person in that that church I never thought would come up there and lay his head down. And that's my dad. I don't know if you saw him, but I did see him. I never that bro, that blew me away. Powerful, man. That blew me away. Powerful. Because if there's there's somebody in that church that God is trying to need to wash clean, it's him. And I love him to death, and I hope he hears this. And he got signed up to get baptized one time, but he backed out. Okay, his time's coming, bro. The Lord's pursuing us. I never thought he'd get up there and lay his head down the altar.

SPEAKER_00 34:30

God loves him.

SPEAKER_02 34:30

Praise the Lord.

SPEAKER_00 34:31

God loves him, just like he loves all of us, man. And and he's got a testimony. Oh, he's got a testimony, bro. And and and and that's that's what's so powerful about his potential and the plan that God has for his life. He's he has a powerful testimony. Yes. Yeah. Without a doubt, he's got a testimony. And I could feel that. I went up there and prayed over him. And and and I could feel that while I was up there. He's he's got a he's got a powerful testimony. Um, you had mentioned that your bride, she opens her eye and kind of sees you. And as the the leader and head of the home, she's she sees you do that. And she's like, oh yeah, this is this is real. I'm I'm doing it too. And but then you open your eyes and see her hand raised in the air, right? What what was your feeling when you open your eyes and you see your wife, your best friend, the one who helped you through your senior year getting through the loss of Nana? She'd been there through the thick and the thin. She never ran, even when you said she should have. What do you feel like through all of the trials, tribulations, and storms? You open your eyes and you see her hand raised. What's that feel like?

SPEAKER_01 35:29

That she's still with me? That we're still in this together, and this is the next next fight we're gonna go, next battle we're gonna go into together.

SPEAKER_00 35:37

Praise God. So good, so good, bro.

SPEAKER_01 35:39

She's still with me. I like that. I like that. She's my rock. She really is my rock.

SPEAKER_00 35:43

Yeah, yeah. So how has how has y'all's life changed since attending church as CFO?

SPEAKER_01 35:48

We

New Purpose At Home And Church

SPEAKER_01 35:49

wake up with a smile and a purpose in the mornings now. It's not just thinking of what we don't have, it's seeing what we do have.

SPEAKER_00 35:55

That's so good.

SPEAKER_01 35:56

Yeah, because I mean, we can argue and want another child a hundred days in a row, but we still have one. There's families out there that can't have children, women that can't get pregnant, you know, men that, you know, will never find the right woman to have. And I I'm blessed and grateful that I have them too already.

SPEAKER_00 36:13

Parker, your daughter, she goes around the house in your testimony. You say she's she's screaming, singing praise. You know what I mean? Like, I know that's gotta be what just the Lord uses at times to fill your cup and run over.

SPEAKER_01 36:27

It is beautiful. Because I've I'll come home from work, you know, mad at my day, been a long day, I'm hot and sweaty. And she runs up to me, and then there's worship music on in the background. She goes back to her room and I can hear her singing, you know. It's just it's beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 36:40

And not only is she doing that, but she prays over the dick.

SPEAKER_01 36:43

Yes, yes. That is the cool daddy, father, father, lord, thank you so much for this day. Yeah, thank you for my daddy coming home. We love you, amen. Yeah, it is awesome. It's awesome. It's awesome. And then she'll she'll stop back and be like, Whew, that was tough. And I'm like, You got it, babe. She's like, I just can't do that in front of a lot of people. I'm like, you'll get there, don't worry.

SPEAKER_00 37:03

That's right. That's right. She's practicing, yeah, right? She she's she's growing. Um, so who knows what's next, man? You know, um, only he knows. That's right. You know, uh, there's no telling what God is going to do, but you're in the right place, doing the right things.

SPEAKER_01 37:17

I wouldn't want to be nowhere else.

SPEAKER_00 37:19

Amen, bro. I really wouldn't. And we wouldn't want you to, man. We're blessed that you guys have come to the Lord, that you're part of the CFO family, that you're here sharing your testimony. You know, people are gonna be blessed by this, they're gonna be encouraged and strengthened, and God's gonna use this testimony to help set other people free. I know it. I totally believe it.

SPEAKER_01 37:35

That was the whole reason why I want to come on.

SPEAKER_00 37:37

That's why you're here. And man, who knows, man? Maybe one day uh you'll come back on here with your wife, and and even you, maybe you and your mom can come on here.

SPEAKER_01 37:43

I would love that.

SPEAKER_00 37:44

But just as much as your dad's got a testimony, your mama got one.

SPEAKER_01 37:47

Oh, yeah. You know, that's gonna be a long episode.

SPEAKER_00 37:49

Yeah, mom's has got one. We say maybe a part two, it may be a two-part one. Yeah, yeah. Well, let's go ahead and pray.

Prayer For Salvation And Closing

SPEAKER_00 37:56

We're gonna wrap this up. And I just want to say thank you for coming on.

SPEAKER_01 37:59

No, it's an honor, man. I appreciate y'all for everything y'all do much.

SPEAKER_00 38:02

Amen. Amen. Let's pray. Father, I'm grateful for all that you've done and what you're going to continue to work through this episode. And as it travels around the world, um, this testimony from Brother Nick is gonna travel around the world. And I just pray that it hit every ear and heart that needs to hear it. And if there's someone out there that needs to surrender to Jesus, I just pray that they would say a prayer like this: Lord Jesus, I'm a sinner. And I ask you to forgive me of my sins. I recognize, Lord Jesus, that you died on the cross so that I could be forgiven. And I ask you to come into my life and forgive me and save my soul in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. Until next time, we'll be on Sunday. God bless and stay in the word of God.