Bliss, Curse & Quest of Belonging - Makenzie Beckstead

In this compelling episode of The Mountain in Us, host Taran Singh sits down with Mackenzie Beckstad—poet, author, and advocate for queer representation—to explore themes of Belonginging,  identity, resilience, and creative expression.  

Key Highlights:  

1️⃣ Upbringing & Religious Shifts: Mackenzie shares her journey growing up in Utah and the seismic shift she experienced when her family left the church at age 15. She reflects on navigating isolation, redefining beliefs, and struggling to belong in a culturally homogeneous environment.  

2️⃣ Poetry as Healing: Her chapbook, Religious Trauma in the Key of Poetry, channels her experiences with religious trauma and self-discovery. She discusses the poignant poem “Do Not Stand at the Closet and Grieve”—a defiant anthem about coming out as a lesbian and reclaiming her voice amid societal and familial expectations.  

3️⃣ Publishing Challenges: Mackenzie opens up about her fraught experience with a small press that withheld royalties and delayed book deliveries, underscoring the importance of advocating for creative ownership.  

4️⃣ Whimsical New Novel: Get a sneak peek into After the Snail Heist, her upcoming quirky tale of two Utah women who steal snails from fairies. The novel celebrates queer joy and Utah’s unique culture beyond its religious facade.  

5️⃣ Community & Creativity: She highlights her work with a local queer bookstore to mentor underrepresented writers, emphasizing the power of storytelling to foster belonging.  

Notable Quotes:  

- “Belonging isn’t about fitting in—it’s about showing up as yourself, even when the world tries to shrink you.”  

- “Writing became my rebellion and my refuge.”  

Book Recommendations:  

- Kiki’s Delivery Service by Eiko Kadono (for its themes of self-discovery).  

- The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros (for its lyrical prose).  

🎧 Tune In for a raw, inspiring conversation about overcoming, embracing authenticity, and finding light in uncharted adventures.  

Social Links

• @kenz_beckstead
• Spotify 
• Apple

#Belonging #QueerVoices #PoetryHeals #AuthorLife #PodcastAlert  

www.inkofsingh.com

Transcript

Taran Singh (Host):  

Welcome to The Mountain in Us, a podcast where the journey finds its voice. I’m Taran Singh, your host. Here, we explore the thrills, jolts, ascents, and descents of our uncharted adventures.  

Joining me today is Mackenzie Beckstad, an author, hydroponics enthusiast, and beacon of creativity. I’m thrilled to have you on the show.  

Mackenzie Beckstad (Guest):  

Thank you, Taran! It’s a pleasure to be here.  

Taran:  

Let’s dive into today’s theme: belonging—its curses, quests, and blessings. First, could you share about your upbringing in Utah, family, and small-town roots?  

Mackenzie:  

Absolutely. I’ve lived in Utah my entire life—first in West Jordan, then Eagle Mountain. I grew up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (often called Mormonism), which heavily influenced our community. My parents left the church when I was 15, which was a seismic shift. Suddenly, we were outsiders in a culture where nearly everyone shared the same beliefs.  

Taran:  

What prompted your parents to leave the church?  

Mackenzie:  

They began questioning teachings that didn’t align with historical facts or their values—issues like polygamy and systemic racism in church history. It wasn’t easy, especially in a homogenous community. Navigating high school afterward was tough—redefining my beliefs, facing isolation, and grappling with depression.  

Taran:  

How did your siblings handle this transition?  

Mackenzie:  

As the oldest, I felt it most acutely. My younger siblings were confused—like my brother, who missed his church baptism at age eight. Members reached out, urging us to “return,” which felt invasive. It highlighted how deeply religion was woven into daily life here.  

Taran:  

Let’s talk about your chapbook, Religious Trauma in the Key of Poetry. How did this collection come to life?  

Mackenzie:  

Writing has always been my refuge. After leaving the church, I channeled my turmoil into poetry. One early piece used The Wizard of Oz as a metaphor for abandoning the “yellow brick road” of dogma. That evolved into this chapbook, aimed at teens navigating similar journeys. The title nods to music—a lifeline during my darkest times—and poetry’s power to heal.  

Taran:  

Publishing wasn’t smooth, though. What happened with your press?  

Mackenzie:  

A small press accepted my manuscript but failed to pay royalties or deliver books on time. After months of silence, I publicly called them out. They finally paid me and terminated the contract. It was a lesson in advocating for my work.  

Taran:  

Your poem Do Not Stand at the Closet and Grieve is stunning. Could you share it and its backstory?  

Mackenzie:  

[Recites]  

Do not stand at the closet and grieve. / I am not there—don’t make believe / I donned a rainbow, then rebelled / just to give the straits some hell...  

This poem responds to my mom mourning the “life she imagined” for me after I came out as a lesbian. It’s a rebirth anthem—for me and queer lives lost to intolerance.  

Taran:  

How did your family react to your coming out?  

Mackenzie:  

My parents struggled initially—their upbringing clashed with my truth. But we’ve grown closer. The poem channels my anger at being “grieved” while alive, and honors those denied that chance.  

Taran:  

You’re now writing a novel, After the Snail Heist. What’s it about?  

Mackenzie:  

A whimsical tale of two Utah women who steal snails from fairies! It’s a love story packed with local quirks rarely seen in literature. I want to celebrate queer joy and Utah’s unique culture beyond its religious identity.  

Taran:  

Any book recommendations for listeners?  

Mackenzie:  

Kiki’s Delivery Service by Eiko Kadono—a whimsical gem about belonging. Also, The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros for its lyrical, postmodern prose.  

Taran:  

Final words for aspiring creators?  

Mackenzie:  

Embrace experimentation! I’m teaching a workshop with a local queer bookstore to foster underrepresented voices. Don’t let fear stifle your creativity.  

Taran:  

Thank you, Mackenzie, for sharing your journey. Folks, soon find Religious Trauma in the Key of Poetry on Amazon. Until next time, keep climbing your mountain.