2. Goals, Values, Limitations

In this episode Katy shares her method for beginning the homeschool process and for refreshing your vision each year. 

Transcript

  Hey, welcome to the late comers podcast. I'm Katy. I am your host here and we're here to talk about what it's like when you homeschool later in the process, of schooling. So maybe your kids are a little older, maybe they're upper elementary, middle  school, high school. Um, maybe you never planned on homeschooling when you were thinking about  starting your kid in kindergarten, however many years ago, you just never saw this as an option that you would have any desire for.

At least that was me. And so we're here to talk about what that's like, because it's a very different experience than people who started out wanting to homeschool.  It's just a really different experience starting with a preteen, a teen than it is to start with a four or five year old.

And there, I think there's a lot of us out here in the world. Who really want to give our kids the authentic, true homeschool experience. We don't want to do online school exclusively, which is totally fine. If that's what you need to do or want to do.  But I have a sixth, seventh and eighth grader. I have three kids and I still want to have some of that magical homeschool experience. I don't think that's just for little kids. So this is what that place is. I also know for a fact that I've gotten a lot of little secret messages from people who are currently in a traditional school setting of some type, and they are really curious about homeschool, but they're scared.

So if you're starting it and you're late in the game and you want to jump in with us and Or if you're just curious about it and you want to learn about it 

Right now I just want to talk about where do you even start if you think that you want to learn about homeschool because it can be so overwhelming.

Like anything, when you find this little subculture, there's so much language you feel so lost. It's like jargon. So I just, Kind of went back in all of my papers and notes and journal entries.  I think there's three main areas that you need to start with. I do think that you should do these in order.  You should write all these things down, but I think you want this written down somewhere because there will be moments when you feel overwhelmed because there is, I mean, it's an ocean of information and possibilities out there.

And so it's nice to be able to go and revisit these things so that you can, Give yourself clarity on like, no, what is, what are we looking for with homeschool? Cause you can do it basically any way you want, 

so you're going to start with your values. What drove you toward homeschool? So not what drove you away from your current situation or your recent past, Not what drove you away from it, but what is driving you to homeschool? Why homeschool?  What are the things that you value that you see aligning with homeschool?

So for me, it was our family relationships and it was developing a love for learning and creativity.  Or I guess I should say at my kid's age, it wasn't so much developing it as much as,  to kind of stop the bleeding because it felt like I, I saw my children loving to learn and be creative and all those things.

And then all of a sudden, as they're getting older and older, especially once we hit the middle school years, it was like no longer cool to be curious or to want to learn things. It was. It's just such a slog to get through schoolwork.  So I wanted to really nip that in the bud, I guess. And I wanted to just kind of like, I don't know, stop everything where it was and be like, okay, wait, wait, wait, we can still save this.

 So lifelong, a love of learning and creativity, family relationships. And then there is a sense of, I want school to be something that is not, it does not exclude our faith and our, our ability to see that our faith touches every part of our life. And  I know that growing up in public school, the one thing that I am just now starting to put together as an adult is that um, Uh, world history and biblical history actually are the same, you know, like that's something that I had had them sequestered into these two completely opposite camps.

I had not ever thought, Oh, these are actually lined. These are the same thing. So I really wanted to see the integration of faith and education what does, what does the Bible teach us about social issues or politics or any of those things?

, creativity, innovation. I want those conversations to be included. So for me, those were three major values that I had was our family relationship, love of learning and creativity and integration of faith. into education.  So that's what I, that's what attracted me to homeschool in particular above anything else.

And when I say family relationships, I kind of glazed over that one, but I want to know, I realized when I was shopping for homeschool curriculum and they were like, well, where's your child at with this subject or that subject? And I only knew the very overview of where my kids were at with certain things.

And that that's part of that family relationship thing for me is why wouldn't I get to do this with them and learn with them and teach them and  have these experiences with them where I teach them how to use their mind and teach them how to even teach themselves things like learning how to learn so that when they go off and they're out in the world as adults, if they need to learn something, which they will, they can do that.

And, and I want to be a part of that process. So those are some values for me. And then you're going to, once you have written down what the values are that you have, you're going to write down your goals. So think of like, what are the actual things that you want to accomplish with homeschool?  One of my goals was to make everyone, some, some degree of a reader.

So some of my kids are ferocious readers. and some of them not so much, but we have grown, we have  developed that muscle and all of them enjoy reading. All of them, can read something and understand what they read. And that was something that being in a big classroom environment, not all my kids. 

muscle  we weren't even there.

On day one of homeschool, some of my kids were like, Really couldn't read a chapter of a book and then tell you what happened. They could technically read it But then they would be like, I don't even know what I just read So that was a major goal for me and another goal Like long term goal.

My kids are all middle schoolers a long term goal for me is I want all of my kids to be able to  get into college and give college a shot.   I'm, I very much believe like, Hey, not everyone has to graduate from college to find success in life. Success has a lot of different shapes and forms for everyone, but I want my kids to give it a shot mainly just because for me, it's like a place where you can kind of wade into the shallow end of being an adult before you're fully out like a normal adult.

  So college. Being able to get into college is still, you know, a goal for me.  Another goal would be just that we're roughly on target, you know, that we're always moving forward. It's funny because even when I started, I still had those metrics that the school has, and that's what was in my mind.

So on day one, I would have told you that I felt really insecure about, am I going to be able to keep them like quote unquote on track or where they need to be. And the more you learn about homeschool and the more you jump in and you do it, I think the more that you see that there's no reason that you have to feel like  your kids should be able to pass the metrics of a public school,  or a private school for that matter.

So I'm learning more and more with homeschool, not to measure myself by the metrics that the state puts forth and, or I guess at the pace.

 I'm figuring out that, you know what, maybe that kid's just not quite ready for that yet. And,  that is a very freeing thing. That doesn't mean you're never going to get to it. And that doesn't mean that you're neglecting their education by any means, but it might take them longer or they might need a break from that.

 And then come back to that and then just clicks for them. And I know I've already seen that type of thing happen in our family. So write down your goals. Are your goals to go on field trips once a week, once a month? Are your goals to,  spend more time outdoors? Are your goals to spend a certain amount of time reading?

 Whatever it is.  So you're gonna write that down  and then finally You're gonna write down. What are your limitations and be realistic with yourself  What is your budget like for buying curriculum?

What is your availability of time? How many kids are there in the family? Are there two? Are there six? Um, that can create limitations. Do any of your kids have special needs? Is your house small? Is your budget small? Is your personal capacity of what you're doing? Level of stress you can handle. I mean, what is it that you feel like is a limitation and then you absolutely want to build your homeschool with those in mind, because yes, some of them, you can find workarounds.

I know I have been able to find so much used curriculum or curriculum that our friends are finished with or whatever, some limitations you can find a work around and then some things you just have to be realistic with yourself.

You just have to be realistic. You know, for us, one goal that we had and that tied directly to our values was for our kids to be able to have some kind of fine arts class experience. And A limitation is definitely our budget. Like I don't just have a forever budget and I also don't have a forever amount of time.

You know, I have three kids.  This year we have three fine arts classes spread between two days. And because that class is 30 minutes away, it's tough to have it on two different days.  So that's a limitation. , we, our kids don't have tablets and they don't have their own individual computers. 

I don't see that as a problem, but it is a limitation, if that makes sense. So your limitations aren't necessarily problems, but  they are things that you need to acknowledge.  And honestly, it can really help because If you just go get on the internet and try to absorb all the homeschool content out there, you are going to drown in that content because there's so much.

It's really nice to have these values, goals, and limitations in your mind. Even give yourself a couple of days to think through it. Talk through, talk through it with your spouse. Even talk about it a little bit with your kids, depending on their ages. But those things, I think you'll actually end up being really, really grateful that you have a filter to just weed some stuff out 

so I, I really think that if you start with those three things, it will help you so much. I know it helped me so, so much.  There is so much information out there and it's really important. And I want to share that too and talk about that. But I know from my experience, this has been so helpful. And even now, as I'm going through, 

picking out future curriculum and starting to look at what were we happy with? What were we not happy with? What do I want to change? And just starting to talk about it with my sister in law the other day, I got so overwhelmed and I literally just had a moment where I was like, no, no more, no more homeschool, like no more looking at curriculum right now.

I really had to sit down and kind of think about, What are our values, goals and limitations? 

And that's part of the reason why it's so valuable to write this down because you're not just going to go back and look at it  in the first three weeks of the first time you start homeschooling. You're going to go back and look at that to remind yourself, what was my original vision? Because sometimes  it doesn't matter what it is in life, you start going with it, it becomes normal and you drift away from that original vision that you had. 

And there's nothing wrong with that. There's a lot to be said for adapting and adjusting as you go. And that is so important. However,  sometimes you need to go back to what was my original vision. And when you go back, maybe you do decide to intentionally adapt or adjust, but you might go back. And read those original values, goals, and limitations.

And you might be really refreshed by that and really inspired by your own vision that you had at the start.  That is so important. That's so important to remember. Why did we do this in the first place? Because because there are going to be days that are hard.  There are.  Anything worth doing in life is going to have hard days with it.

It just is. Homeschool is no different. Duh, obviously.  So go write that down. And then when you're in a hard time, go read it.  Not when you're in a shame spiral. Let me just say that. Not when you're in a shame or guilt spiral, which we will talk about on another podcast episode. Oh my. I'm sure we will talk about it.

Multiple times. Mom guilt is so real.  But,  when you're in a place where you want to remember, Why are we doing this again?  Why did I sign up for this? It's really hard. Or, the level of self sacrifice is more than I realized. Go back and read those notes that you made in the beginning. Also,  it's not just to inspire you and refresh you. 

You need to go back and look at that at the end of every school year, before you begin your next school year, maybe when you're doing your planning for the next school year or whatever.  Go back and look at what you wrote down last year. Think about how you want to change that, how you want to adjust it and rewrite it for the next school year.

I know that's what I'm about to do. Um, you know, we're in the spring semester, but I'm thinking about the time that I'm going to set aside this summer. I'm going to get away and I'm going to really evaluate, did we hold to these values or are these still the values that we have? What about our goals?

Those especially will get adjusted and redone and, and I'll have new goals. I'll have different goals,  all of those things, the limitations, all of it. I'm going to revisit because things have changed in life.  And especially for people who,  let's say we're building the plane as we're flying it a little bit.

If you did not see this coming, because there are some people out there that before they got married, they knew they wanted to homeschool. That's awesome. That's not us. That's not the latecomers.  The latecomers, we are,  we're scrappy, man. Like, we're figuring it out. And, um, that's going to take the, honestly, courage to go back.

and take that time away, get away by yourself in some way, whether it's going to a coffee shop or whether it's going on a little retreat, um,  get away  and, and revisit that  values, goals, limitations. It's so important. It's so important because it's so easy to get lost in the weeds, not only of your own mind,  Reference to mom guilt again, between mom guilt or your hopes and your dreams that may or may not be realistic,  between comparing yourself to other, other homeschool families, between comparing yourself to the schools, between,  you know, what you're seeing online, That whole arena of comparison, but also just all the resources online.

I mean, it's bottomless. It's a bottomless.  Sometimes it feels like a bottomless well of, you know, resources and information. Sometimes the internet feels like a bottomless pit of despair and darkness. And that's just looking at curriculum. That's not even, I mean, literally when I was researching, um, before we actually started, I was.

researching as if my life depended on it, because for my personality, I mean, my wellbeing did depend on me feeling equipped, but there was a few times when my husband would come home from work or he would come home to like grab something that he forgot or have lunch. And I would just be like a zombie staring at a screen and he'd be like, babe, are you okay?

And I just remember telling  I think I overdid it today. I think I, I overdosed on homeschool, like research and, and learning and  hunting for what's going to work for us. So  that can absolutely happen using this guide. Values, goals, limitations will help you. I promise you it will help so much. Whether you're going into just a new school year or whether you're about to start for the first time,  this method is for you.

will, will be such a guide to you and you're going to be so glad you did it. I'm really excited to go revisit mine. I think you'll be excited to revisit yours. And honestly, by the time you get to the end of that school year, it can kind of feel like, man, where do I even start? What do I even want to do next  You know, I don't feel like we quite had the school year we wanted to have or on maybe in certain subjects, but I don't even know how to figure it out.

And again, you use this method, use this method. It will help you so much. I would love to hear from you guys about what some of your values are, your goals. Um, you know, like it's really helpful to have those conversations amongst each other and to share those. And I would love to hear from you guys on the social media, Um, on the, mainly the Instagram page, I guess I say social media. 

That makes me feel kind of like an old lady that I just said, I want to hear from you on the social media, but I want to hear from you because sometimes we don't realize like, oh yeah, that is a value that I have or man, that's a great goal. And I really resonate with that. And I think that's really attainable for us.

So. Comment on the post for this episode and let's talk about it.  Let's dive into that more and, and help each other out and inspire each other. Talk to the other homeschool moms, you know, share this episode. If you know other moms that are starting off or they're going into their next school year,  this is a really great place to engage with each other and encourage each other. 



And now we're going to talk about the homeschool word of the day. Today's word. Okay, here's a dirty little secret about the word co op. 

It really doesn't have one clear definition. Okay?  Some people  are going to call a co op one thing, and then someone else over here is going to call something very different. Also a co op. Okay.  I guess it's short for cooperative,  it's here's some, here's what I've gathered.  The word co op  always means there's going to be other families involved, not individual,  right?

I think we all can put that together, but it could mean  anything from a play group where you do nature studies, don't worry, we will define nature studies on a later episode, but it could be where you're doing kind of like science experiments or exploring nature and learning about it together and just playing.

It could be a place where you are going and you're sitting and you're all having a math teacher teach math because You, you know, you're one of many families who doesn't want to take on teaching math to their kids or they don't feel equipped for that. It could be a fine arts class. My kids go to a co op, quote unquote co op.

That's like university model where they offer classes at certain times. Um, some of the classes even have multiple times that you can choose from.  There's a set teacher, that teacher is not necessarily a parent of a current student. And a lot of them aren't. So, that is much more of a regular classroom experience.  That's a very formal type of co op. There's other co ops that are literally more like playgroups.

So look, it's just a gathering of homeschool families with a shared goal. That is the most basic definition that I can think of because of how wide a range this word has. So don't feel crazy if you hear this word and then you're like, wait, but what? Because that's a co op, but that also over here, that is also a co op. 

Yeah. It's, it's a broad, it's a broad definition. So  there's your homeschool word of the day. That's our episode. Thank you so much for joining me here. I love this community. I love what's starting to develop here, uh, with the latecomers.  Don't forget, I have to say it, like and subscribe,  share this with your friends. Honestly, it would mean so, so much to me if you would give us a quick rating and it would mean a lot.

The world, if you would share about this podcast on your social media, .

Thank you so much. We'll talk to you guys next time.