God Crush

Prayer is whatever you say on your knees

• Lura Groen and Ariana Katz • Season 1 • Episode 2

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 35:14

Lura and Ariana talk prayer, and introduce a new segment.

The title for this episode comes from Ben Fama's poem "Peasant."

God Crush, a podcast about being in love with God, queer stuff, joy, justice, and chosen family, is coming soon! Hosted by Pastor Lura Groen (@lura.groen) and Rabbi Ariana Katz (@rabbiariana).

This podcast was recorded on Piscataway land, also known as Baltimore. We want to hear from you! You can email us at godcrushpod@gmail.com, and follow us on Instagram @godcrushpod. Leave us a voicemail at ‪(410) 929-5508‬.

Show artwork: Liora Ostroff, @lioraostroff
Music: "Testify" by Aves and Vincent Parker, @aves__music & @ultravincentr

Transcript of this episode can be found at: bit.ly/godcrushtranscripts

Ariana

Hi and welcome back to God Crush. God Crush is a show about being in love with God, queer stuff, joy, justice, and chosen family. Your hosts are me, Rabbi Ariana Katz,

Lura

me, Pastor Laura Gruen.

Ariana

best friends and clergy who live and serve congregations in the greater Baltimore area. What are you doing when you pray? This is a thing I love asking people, because so often, especially when we're in communal prayer context, it always feels like the guy sitting next to you with their eyes closed is like really doing

Lura

Mm hmm.

Ariana

And you're like, ah crap. Um, and, and so I love actually saying out loud what's happening when we're praying and I'm curious for you. I imagine there's lots of different things,

Lura

Yeah.

Ariana

what are you doing dude?

Lura

Uh, are you talking about public prayer or private prayer? We're both.

Ariana

Answer this however you want to answer.

Lura

Okay. Uh, my private prayer Sometimes, I'm talking. Because I'm a talker, I like words. And I believe that there's a listening on the other end, but I think deeper prayer, striving for a connection. And sometimes I'm feeling it. Um, and that might be silent. That might be like, just um, breath exercises, or yoga, or meditation. there's a lot of different ways to strive for that connection. but when, when I get it, it's just like, oh, it's just me and the Divine right here. Yeah, that's the best feeling. That's what I'm going, I'm trying to get to. And like, I don't always And then there's, there's like public prayer where I'm in my professional world. It's mostly words based. And then I think I'm trying to lead people into their connection with God and to have that feeling. And, in order to do that, I put myself in a place where I'm imagining, seeing, sensing, being connected to an awareness that they are connected to God. That God is present with them, with us, so that I can use my words and my presence and my breath and my, all those professional things that we use to hopefully make a possible way for them to feel that connection to.

Ariana

Do you, do you feel like you're praying when you're leading public prayer?

Lura

I do. I, um, one of the places where I most consistently feel connected to God and feel the awareness of God is leading congregational worship. And, and I think it's because of the congregation, like, um, I see God in the congregation. And so when I feel connected to the congregation, I feel connected to God and in a very consistent way. It almost never doesn't happen. And this is all just like subjective experience, but yeah, I'm, I'm praying for real when I lead a congregation and I am very consistently like feeling God's presence there because the congregation is there.

Ariana

Yeah. That really resonates. I remember when I, started leading public prayer and how it felt just like I was like operating the wheel with one hand and like typing with the other hand and then stirring a pot with a foot and then trying to balance on the last foot and there was Being able to tap into anything outside of just not trying to crash the car that I was typing and cooking in was, uh, impossible. And I feel grateful to be in a community where even, like, now that I, I feel more confident just being present and showing up with whatever I've

Lura

Yeah.

Ariana

And that my connection to The spiritual life and work of our congregation, sort of impossible to not be impacted by.

Lura

Did that you once you had Nu Is that when the, when the,

Ariana

no, it took a few years into leading the congregation, like I think just like comfort with all the different tasks that happen in leading public prayer, and then also the ability to descend into prayer. while still like keeping one eye open to remember that it's not about, this isn't my experience, it's a collective experience. And there is, there is an amount of performance that I've learned how to crank up during certain parts of the year invite people in deeper, like the, the high holidays, the certain liturgical moments that are just so profound. And It sort of like keeps, it like pings itself back and forth. And so it becomes more intense and then I like show that in my body and then it feels even more intense.

Lura

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Ariana

service leaders,

Lura

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Ariana

notice what I'm going to be doing to lead the people. And, and like, that is a gift,

Lura

Yeah. hmm.

Ariana

huge number of people in my family do, um, like having been trained um, I found that during the prayer for healing, I stick my little hands out mostly to give people cues about when they should say names

Lura

Right.

Ariana

my hands get really hot,

Lura

Yeah. So, Um, So, So,

Ariana

that the, feeling, feeling grounded in prayer and connected to source. regardless of if it's public or private, is really embodied for me. the hot hands was wild.

Lura

That is wild. I get, tell me if this resonates with you, an image that I have about simultaneously having that internal experience and needing to authentically inside yourself be authentic while simultaneously doing some kind of performance that helps other people feel it. I sometimes think about, cause like it is performance. There's all the like. How do you enunciate and how do you use your microphone and how do you pose your body and things that are skills we're taught and simultaneously it's for the purpose of authenticity. I think about literally taking like the, the internal experience of prayer that I have being inside my chest, but being like buried in my chest and that some of the work is just to pull that. ball to the front where people can see it, so that like, I'm, there's work to show people the internal experience.

Ariana

Is it like the sacred heart? What is the connection to?

Lura

Fascinating. Um, well the sacred heart like is in, um, our logo is imagined as, that's imagined as Jesus's heart, as Jesus's heart on fire for the world and full of compassion and love for us. And the truth is like. I resonate with this really strongly, but it's not really a part of the Lutheran tradition. I'm stepping a little bit I'm borrowing from outside my own tradition into the Catholic tradition, and so I suspect Catholics would use different words for that, but just like Jesus with his heart aflame for the world, there's a line where, um, after the resurrection, Jesus shows up to some disciples, and every time Jesus shows up to the disciples post resurrection, it appears to take them a little bit to recognize that it's really him. So there's no explicit description of him looking differently. There's just, you're reading between the lines that everybody eventually recognizes him, but most Perceive him as something else at first. So one of the stories where this happens, he's joins some disciples who are travelers on the road and he asks them questions about what they're feeling and they tell him about his own death and his own crucifixion. And then, he explains the scriptures to them. It says he opens the scriptures in ways that help them see that the scriptures are. connected to his death and resurrection. And then they get, it's nightfall, they get to the inn. They invite him into the inn and to eat with them and to stay with them. And as they're eating dinner, he breaks bread in the same way that he did at the communion. And suddenly they can see that it's him and he, disappears and they say, were our hearts not burning the whole time he was talking to us on the road. So there's that like, yes, our hearts burn. Jesus heart's burn, as kind of like an image that aliveness, that connection, that love, that passion. but it's also, I think all those stories are really important because it's the way that we envision the divine showing up in the world. Like we're just doing our thing. We have an interaction with another human being. Suddenly that interaction gets real deep all of a sudden. And we're like, Oh shit, that's God. And then it's gone. Like, um, that happens over it, like over and over and over again. And the resurrection post resurrection stories are all like that. And that really resonates with my experience of God in the world and how God works and moves in the world.

Ariana

It's not surprising that we have such similar theology on that, but it's delightful to hear because the that I often go to it shows up in a couple of places, but the least gross version is in the Gemara, in Brachot 6a, where, um, it says that when two people sit and study Torah, the Divine Presence rests between

Lura

Yeah.

Ariana

And that experience of just, when it changes from like how Buber would describe an I It interaction to an I Thou interaction, when you're like, Oh my God, have a pulse and a brain and seen the world your whole life as you? That's wild!

Lura

Yeah.

Ariana

is a way that it conjures God or it, uh, You know, pulls God down or invites God's presence in or creates that thing that we call God and, and just that experience between two people, rabbi, Rabbi Seymour Rosenblum, who just gave some, I mean, the, some of the most impactful drushes that have shaped my theology, which is like really scary to think that give

Lura

Oh,

Ariana

that to other people.

Lura

that is

Ariana

No, I don't think so.

Lura

when,

Ariana

I don't

Lura

when I realized a kid is paying attention to me or, or a teenager or an adult, you know, when they're just all of a sudden you're like, wow, that person's locked into what I'm saying. That is one of the most terrifying experiences to have as a pastor, like I better not fuck this up. I better, I better say and do it right. The mistakes I make right now might live with this person for the rest of their life. They might have,

Ariana

God.

Lura

a mistake, they might have to unlearn it. It could affect their, what their relationship with God is.

Ariana

Yeah.

Lura

Fuck. That is terrible. Yeah.

Ariana

when it's going well and then you feel yourself going off the rails, and you're like, okay, well, let's bring it back, because we're, people are listening. I mean, I had this, I had this experience at a bar mitzvah. I was giving a, a blessing to a bar mitzvah, and I have never had so much. presence from a young person. And you know, you don't need eye contact to know someone's paying attention. But this kid was eyeballs, eyeballs. And I was like, Oh, you're Receiving a blessing right now, like I better make it good

Lura

Yeah.

Ariana

and it was that was a moment where it was like me and him and God and then all his ancestors and his whole community and it was, I like noticed it as it was happening. I

Lura

Yeah.

Ariana

feel it and do it.

Lura

think you were going to tell a story about your childhood, Rabbi. 100%.

Ariana

the duration of the train ride from New York to Philadelphia and, the, the teaching that, um, you never know who Elijah is And I, it's a really common theme in, um, rabbinic literature that I think is echoed in the Christian Bible of, um, someone looks like a beggar, but kablammo, it's Elijah.

Lura

We say Jesus, but yeah.

Ariana

right, right. And the, the people who treat that, person who would otherwise be, overlooked or mistreated, those are the people who are meant to receive a

Lura

Right. Yeah. Absolutely. It was beautiful.

Ariana

or something. And what I appreciate about, Rabbi Rosenblum's teaching, he told me to call him Seymour once and every time I think about that, I want to cry. It's like, oh my God, no, I'm seven years old.

Lura

Yeah.

Ariana

um, if we treat everyone as if they are Elijah or the Messiah, that it creates a messianic age, um, and, the person he rode the train with, he never saw again and, um, and like the, the ephemerality of that interaction also feels like some of the, the story,

Lura

Okay. Yeah.

Ariana

also why I love talking to strangers.

Lura

you, you talk to y'all listeners, Arianna Katz talks to every single human. It is an experience to be out in public with her because all of a sudden she knows more about my neighbors than I do. She knows more about the grocery clerks like Arianna has talked to everybody.

Ariana

on an Elijah hunt,

Lura

I know you're also an extrovert. Like, I think there's both of those things, but yes.

Ariana

But I didn't know that. I didn't know that till this summer when I was on tour with Jess Rosenberg, uh, about our book. And, um, we were talking about like, oh, are you an introvert and extrovert? And I was like, an introvert with like an extrovert, um, disguise. And she was like, bitch, you've spoken to every single person who's crossed our path in the last three days.

Lura

hmm. Yeah.

Ariana

but I'm going to find Elijah and we're going to be having a teehee about

Lura

You are. You are. I was gonna say, a lot of clergy, including I think myself, are introverts with an extrovert disguise, but no, you're a real extrovert. Like, I have no doubt you are a real extrovert. But yes, you and Elijah are gonna, gonna have that meeting, and that I'll be like, rollin my eyes, sittin in the car, being like, uh, when's Ariana gonna get back in the car? I'm just trying to get home. I'm hungry.

Ariana

I'll be like, Eli, can I call you Eli? You gotta meet my friend, Laura. No, they're really cool, no, come on.

Lura

I'm going to meet someone else. actually, I have an experience like that, that was in an Amtrak too. I was taking

Ariana

the

Lura

Amtrak between D. C. and Philly, so south instead of north, and the person I had that interaction with was Jewish. He was sitting there reading something in Hebrew, and I was in seminary, so I was or just reading it. And so we struck up a conversation. He was probably my age or a little bit younger. And we were just talking and he's like, this is one of those conversations. We're both going to remember for the rest of our life. And like, I do. And there was just like this connection and just to like, it wasn't a romantic connection, but it was a really, really intimate, like strangers on a train talking about our lives sort of connections. his name's Avi. I'm gonna remember him for the rest of my life. Like, that's one of my stranger moments.

Ariana

I think that like these, these interactions happen in so many places and I think the language of crush is really powerful for it because you can like make eye contact with someone and your whole lives play out in a flash when you see them. And just like the, the imaginings of what could be, I think imagination a huge piece of how I connect to God and how I, and how my organizing and my theology are the same thing is that. we have to imagine, uh, remember and imagine. And that creativity is a huge part of having a crush of just like, would it be like? What does their spit taste like? Imagine. We talk a lot about the, the parts of our relationship with the divine that delicious and joyful and easy, and I wonder if we should talk about the things that make you uncomfortable. the things that. Make us uncomfortable, um, in And Microsoft has added for the young speakers sixth. we move in, or, first may or may not currently time thatsite. what makes you This particular application is

Lura

so there's my personal discomfort with interacting with some kind

Ariana

training experience

Lura

overwhelmingly more like.

Ariana

the hardware. television,

Lura

in the Chronicles of Narnia, which many Christians read when we're kids, where, uh, Jesus is represented as a lion. And when new characters start to encounter him, they're initially

Ariana

the

Lura

and they say, is he a

Ariana

devices through what they were exposed to.

Lura

And the other characters who know him better say, no, he's not tame. He's good. But he's not tame

Ariana

12,

Lura

of like

Ariana

13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40. time, contents

Lura

something so much greater than me who doesn't follow

Ariana

only,

Lura

their own rules. And that's, that's good. But it's scary. It's

Ariana

not

Lura

This, this also shows up every time. We talk about the incarnation of God in Jesus and the fact that that specific encounter happens with, a young woman and says, I want to be born in you. And it, and she says, yes. but. debate about is that consent or not? When she says yes, is she

Ariana

Nothing special,

Lura

to

Ariana

great

Lura

God? And how can you possibly consent to an encounter with God? How like ways of talking about consent, there's a power differential here, right? Like this young woman of an ethnic minority in an subject of

Ariana

of words that will

Lura

is like one of the least powerful

Ariana

help you get what you want. You

Lura

asks her.

Ariana

can

Lura

you? And she says yes. And so just that kind of language of like what

Ariana

find this

Lura

or to me it feels like

Ariana

on

Lura

the opportunity to say yes and no. But what does that even mean in a relationship with a being so much more powerful than me? And.

Ariana

index.com

Lura

I feel forced by God in time, like the ways that the prophets feel forced by God. There are times that I feel like God makes me do things that I would prefer not to do. And sometimes, I've told you

Ariana

will

Lura

this from a

Ariana

find content there as

Lura

hate that. I can't remember

Ariana

well.

Lura

Spirit, the sneaky bitch. and because the

Ariana

Thank

Lura

mess with your life and I love her and I want her in my life, but sometimes I'm like, fuck the sneaky bitch is doing it again.

Ariana

you for

Lura

though

Ariana

Um, Um,

Lura

that's a really uncomfortable part of my experience with the Divine. Do you have like that or does it really feel comfortable in Yummy the whole time?

Ariana

I think that the classic, the Odyssey question of. How can a loving God allow to suffer? is so painful because of that, dual relationship that I have wherein God is simultaneously the, neutral animating force of the world that, is not responsible for tsunamis because of queerness, God forbid, or, a good yield in crops like the Torah claims, is a personal best friend that I can chat with whenever I want. that latter, quieter, more, personal and emotional relationship with God that I have is really challenged by, The idea of an omnipotent, omniscient force in the world that would allow untold suffering that this planet has witnessed. And I think the closest place of solution that I've arrived in wherein is still my cozy friend from second grade and In a world in which terrible things happen is that, I'm comfortable surrendering some of God's omnipotence, some of god's all powerful to God sitting next to me at the suffering in the world. And, in the pew next to the mourners, when we do the sker, the memorial service, and, pacing the hallways of the hospital room. And I think that that is how I've been able to stay connected to God in times of witnessing horror. But I also think sometimes I just like drop the rope on that personal God toggle into, um, God does not have a wall of TV monitors monitoring each of us on a different TV screen. and that feels more possible. But the, How can God be, present to us in our suffering and to a world full of suffering, and not intervene? And how can I believe in an intervening God when I pray for healing? in its in the more sort of simplistic, non metaphorical ways that by heart reaches out for, when it's being most honest, when it's, its most desperate. we talked about our pantyhose line in our intro episode, and I, I love the reverences of God. Like God is totally a sneaky bitch and she's, he, he, he at us all the freaking time and right, and so like in that secondary, anthropomorphic divine, like I do think that. there are, experiences I have that are, if not divinely ordained, divinely delighted in. And also, I don't think that's real, right? Like it's the toggling, I think is maybe the place of, most discomfort and the inconsistency and the ways in which my theology will shift to make it possible for me to stay in relationship with God. There are times at which the, a reverence other people talking about God. I feel defensive. Like, Hey, that's, that's Hashem. Leave her alone. and I feel like protective and I'm like, no, that's the queen who reins on high. defend them they deserve honor. And it's completely unpredictable when I will feel like it's too irreverent. And it's probably just based on where I am in my menstrual cycle, to be honest.

Lura

Does it ever bother you? When I say sneaky bitch?

Ariana

No,'cause your God is an awesome God who reigns in heaven above, and it's a personal thing.

Lura

I have a song about that. Yeah,

Ariana

I just demonstrate my

Lura

you just like pulled out deep in my childhood camp songs. Wow. I think it's based on the song, but still like, yeah, you just, you pulled, you pulled it up.

Ariana

all about your worship songs.

Lura

I, well, what I hear you talking about is the, difference between, and first of all, oh my goodness, you went right to the Odyssey. I feel a little shallow right now because yeah, that's kind of a big deal, right? Suffering in the world. Clear. I'm uncomfortable with that too, just to be clear to all of our listeners, in case you are.

Ariana

Pastor Lura hates suffering. Don't get it Uh,

Lura

extending the difference between what you feel logically can justify about God versus your personal experience about God, the reigning force of the

Ariana

Uh,

Lura

suffering versus like what your experience is. I think I have that too. that the first commandment, not to take God's name in vain, was about, using God as a curse word, like saying goddam dammit, or like, oh God. And, my adult brain knows that it's profoundly not what it's about. That when people are using God for their own personal agendas to harm other people, On a political scale, but clearly we

Ariana

um,

Lura

horrified by that. But I still have a pantyhose line when someone says, goddammit, that I'm like,

Ariana

Oh.

Lura

like, I know it's not sinful. It is not. There's nothing

Ariana

uh, Uh.

Lura

other people doing that, but, ah, that's where my panty I'm, so I react to that so much, um, that I'm just like,

Ariana

Do you not say UM. damnit

Lura

I only say God dammit when I mean it. Seriously.

Ariana

when you want God So let Whoa. how do you feel about when people such as myself say, ah, Jesus or Jesus Christ? Like, what does that feel like for you? Because I, I us all do where I've been able to eradicate, you

Lura

Uhhuh.

Ariana

That from a little bit. Let us do a little what's that like for

Lura

Honestly, it's easier for me when you do it than it is when Christians do it

Ariana

Why?

Lura

Uh, well, I think

Ariana

So,

Lura

cultural dominance of Christianity. Like it's, I'm, I'm

Ariana

this, I. is the transcript.

Lura

in the

Ariana

Transcript.

Lura

religion of our culture, going to police the way people of not dominant

Ariana

Transcript.

Lura

the language. And it doesn't feel when you say it like you are violating something sacred to you. Whereas when Christians

Ariana

Transcript.

Lura

have the reaction that like, no, you, that's sa that's

Ariana

alright. So,

Lura

you. Why are you saying

Ariana

this means? um, when, when a Christian get

Lura

Yeah.

Ariana

you know what this means? Like, you know who this is? How dare into transcript

Lura

you know who this is because like, I don't think that our understanding of God is any better than yours.

Ariana

Mm-hmm. Hmm. this

Lura

name in our, in our language, in our tradition, you are supposed to hold this name in a sacred way, whereas I don't have that expectation of you that you would hold that name in a sacred way.

Ariana

Oh, wow. I mean, after this conversation, I 100% need to cut IWatch because Right. Like I, I, A kinker girl beats brought to you by structural analysis. I appreciate that. And also it's like not aligned with how I feel about other people's faith practices. So great answer, but that doesn't mean. I think that there are people who would be dismissive of it maybe with your power analysis. I have this amazing story from, growing up, my mother's best friend, my bonus mom, Lisa Sheer of Blessed Memory. we were sitting outside at Shabbat dinner and, she is a very faithful Episcopalian. She bookmarked what hymns she wanted at her funeral, with takeout napkins in her hymnal. Um, and. we just, I gestured probably and knocked over little vo of candles that were on the table, not the Shabba's candles. And I said, ah, Jesus Christ. After we put it out and everyone calmed down'cause the fire was under control. I apologized to her for taking God's name in vain and because of the dynamic of her being around my shabba's table, I was little but still. And um, she said, no, you were praying it probably helped like

Lura

Oh, interesting.

Ariana

my ass. a moment of crisis. Like, thanks for calling on God. And not in a way Cannot run without vaccine, convert this kid. But in just like a That's a prayer in that moment and I, I just like always think of, I mean, I think about Lisa all the time, but I think about the way in which I've always grown up around a multi-faith shabba's table, and for her it was just such a compassionate and faithful response.

Lura

a far better response than mine. I love her response and

Ariana

Cannot live without a gun to kill. Can not really hurt anybody on this earth, But

Lura

is so beautiful, and I wish that my emotional response was like that, which is why it's a pantyhose line for me. Like there is nothing

Ariana

Yeah. Yeah,

Lura

in my head that thinks it's actually a problem for you to say Jesus Christ when you set an accidental fire on your table. Like I don't intellectually

Ariana

I watch, because

Lura

maybe

Ariana

ustain.

Lura

I

Ariana

And

Lura

people saying that. If I think of it as like, oh, well, God hears it,

Ariana

I look to listen. And I don't stand around,

Lura

it or not? I mean, I, what really solved it for me was, you know, I love sociology and anthropology, and I read somewhere that every culture that we have documented, their swear words are about the divine, about sex and about poop, and that that is universal in

Ariana

So

Lura

And so then I was like, oh yeah, that's just a human thing to

Ariana

I sit here time,

Lura

of my favorite things in the world. Get those three. Right. And your life is pretty good, right?

Ariana

I gross my gut out to

Lura

life kind of sucks. This sounds really important. Okay. This makes sense that people use it in that way.

Ariana

our And actually suck to get the vaccine, like, help. Thanks,

Lura

Yeah.

Ariana

animation id

Lura

I don't know.

Ariana

reports, a segment

Lura

We

Ariana

on our

Lura

segment. Oh my goodness.

Ariana

the sex and do's

Lura

Do you know Okay, so she does this thing instead of Fuck Mary Kill, she does Finger U-Haul Ghost, which is such a femme, queer thing to do, and, and asks, asks her guests like three random things. Finger U-Haul Ghost. That's, that's kind of like Gods sex poo. it'd be a fun little subsegment for us to have. Yeah. Is that Gods sex or poop?

Ariana

think it's like a, mind, it's like your taste, long term good thing, a short term good thing a bad

Lura

Okay. Yeah.

Ariana

animators, So I think God is the long-term

Lura

Yeah.

Ariana

Sex is the short term good thing, and poop is the bad

Lura

Yeah, we could do Gods sex poop and we could name things.

Ariana

fret of the string. is funny or if it's just funny to us. So welcome to our first segment of God sex poop. Lara, will you tell This and poop of your week was? Can we do it that way? of the file rupture

Lura

the best of what a

Ariana

debweaver.

Lura

up for each other. I got to

Ariana

And

Lura

a member

Ariana

name of the file is run.

Lura

husband and the community surrounding her. That's the God sex is. I got to see the cherry blossoms in DC on an accidental, not accidental, but a spontaneous, unexpected trip to dc. I was on the BW Parkway and then driving around inside DC and I got to see cherry blossoms and I didn't know I'd see that this year. poop, physical pain, my physical pain has sucked,

Ariana

Um,

Lura

so that's the godex poop of my weak. What about yours?

Ariana

okay.

Lura

We should ask some other people if this is funny.

Ariana

I know. Yeah, we will. And then it'll give us insight onto whether or not we should do it. I'm looking at my schedule to figure it out. I think the God of my week was, our community is starting to, think about forming a h kadeisha, a burial society, and so on Sunday Ctorque. in a room with some amazing people talking about. work and the people in our lives that we remembered and just those moments where the room shrinks to a small point. It was really precious. I think the sex was that, even when we're organizing against really horrifying things, we're doing it with our

Lura

Yeah.

Ariana

And so I got to good time with, Dear friends of ours, in the car on the way to Annapolis because in the season in Maryland organizing, we're just always on our way to Annapolis at any given moment. and the poop poop of my week. I think it's just like I'm really good at figuring out how to be stressed when I don't have to be. Like I will not lose an opportunity to figure out how to feel overwhelmed.

Lura

Uh, that's not new my friend. You're not just learning how to,

Ariana

know, but it's the poop of my

Lura

Okay. Yes.

Ariana

poop of Um... heal some generational trauma or something.

Lura

You said you're just learning too. I was like, no, you are not just learning too.

Ariana

am just observing.

Lura

Okay.

Ariana

observing that I'm able to do it. I've been doing it for a long

Lura

Okay.

Ariana

but the like noticing that that's a

Lura

Yeah. Yeah. That's real.

Ariana

That's the poop.

Lura

So people talk about God, sex and poop as these three things that are so in our lives. And I mean, yes. So we start, we went off on this tangent'cause I was talking about that helped me come to terms with the fact that people use all kinds of varieties of God as kind of a curse word.

Ariana

Right, and I mean, we, we invoke the things that matter to us and that take up room in our lives and our brains when we're trying to express outrage. So, right. Just to like simplify it for my own brain, it's, identifying that it matters if we are getting upset enough to invoke it. with a different microphone

Lura

what we're

Ariana

than usual so I thought I

Lura

about our experiences of that? Or do you have more?

Ariana

no. check out their tracks is like sort of the nexus of the universe and we

Lura

Yes. Amen.

Ariana

be able to compare the

Lura

What is, what are the implications

Ariana

explicit. I dunno, I will say that, by the time you hear this, I will have set up our Google Voice and call in and tell us if we're funny. Don't actually do that, but you could. you can Um, leave us a on, the show, answering the questions that we asked each other. or sharing your own ideas or stories that you wanna, share with others, um, or have us reflect on. I'm sure we'll use the, Google Voice in lots of different ways as the show continues. the phone number is.

4 1 0 9 2 9 5 5 0 8.

Ariana

Or you can send us a voice memo if you wanna record it on your phone and email it to us at God Crush pod@gmail.com

Lura

If you email us and we email you a thank you, it will look in your inbox that you got an email from God,

Ariana

Uh,

Lura

you should

Ariana

if you're Uh, Uh, following us, um, around to phone numbers and emails, you could also follow us on Instagram at God Crush Pod. podcast was recorded on Piscataway Land, also known as Baltimore. I am Ariana.

Lura

And I'm Laura.

Ariana

And God told me they've never seen anyone quite like you before. that's the, um, that's the version of our L word. intro song,

Lura

Oh yeah.

Ariana

fucking shitting praying, Pete.