Expressive Individualism: Why "You Do You" is Exhausting w/ Jonathan Morrow

Does "Living Your Truth" feel more like a heavy burden than a breakthrough?

In 1994, the average 21-year-old had seen 300,000 ads. Today, that number is 38 million. We are constantly told we have the power to control our lives, define our identities, and create our own truth. But as we discuss, with Jonathan Morrow, when we become our own highest authority, we don't actually find freedom; we find a crushing sense of performance and despair.

In this episode, we cut through the cultural fog surrounding "Expressive Individualism" to discover why the "authentic self" is a shaky foundation for a life.

We dive deep into:

• The Rise of Scientism: How the loss of moral knowledge left us with nothing but power struggles.
• The Freedom Paradox: Why modern freedom (doing whatever you want) is actually a form of slavery to our shifting desires.
• The "Ought" Problem: Why we never feel like we’re "enough" when we are the ones setting the standards.
• The Antidote: How moving from autonomy to obedience actually grants us the freedom to flourish.

"Freedom is found in cooperating with how God designed us to be." Join us for a conversation that moves past the debate and toward the relief found in the authority of Jesus.

About Our Guest: Jonathan Morrow 

Jonathan knows that today’s culture can feel like a maze of conflicting messages. That’s why he has spent years providing solid ground for those questioning their faith or heading into the 'front lines' of college. As the author of Questioning the Bible: 11 Major Challenges to the Bible’s Authority and Welcome to College, Jonathan cuts through the intellectual and cultural confusion that often clouds our view of God.

Beyond the books, Jonathan is a practical advocate for the family, having created Refresh to help busy parents confidently lead their children through the challenges of social media and technology. He is a passionate voice for anyone wanting to build a faith that isn't just a tradition, but a conviction.

Follow Jonathan on Instagram: @followjesuswithyourphone

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

• Chasing Love by Sean McDowell
• The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self by Carl Trueman

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Transcript

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So have you noticed something? No one seems to trust authority anymore. certainly not the authority of parents or of pastors, institution, and even the government. All authority seems to feel suspect. and autonomy feels sacred. So here's the question. What happens when everyone becomes their own highest authority or the god, so to speak, of their own life? than what happens when we make terrible gods. Welcome back to the In-In-4 podcast where we help you live in Christ and for culture. Cutting through confusion so you can see Jesus clearly. I'm Shelley Komoszewski. I'm Brock Anderson. Shelley and I both belong to a ministry called Sightline, formerly Josh McDowell ministry, where we seek to help Christians cut through cultural confusion so they can help people in their sphere of influence see Jesus clearly. This podcast is one of the ways we help you do that. So welcome. Today we're talking about something that's shaping almost every conversation happening in culture right now, and that is the rise of individualism. It's really taken center stage in recent years. And there's a good reason for this. Look, in 1994, the average person by the age of 21 had been exposed to 300,000 advertising messages. Today, that number is closer to 38 million. Just take a moment to think about that. By the time someone reaches age 21 in today's culture, they've been reached or exposed to 38 million different messages telling them the same kind of thing. You need this to be complete. You need this thing to be in control of your life. And imagine what that does to us. With that many messages, we can easily become convinced that we have full control over all we need. And we don't need anything else, including God. And this doesn't even factor in our on-demand culture. You want people? Toggle on social media. You want entertainment? Fire up one of a thousand streaming services. I get what I want when I want it. I have individual control over my life. So want to make sure that we know that we're not just talking about independence, we're not just talking about freedom. What we're talking about here is authority and who has it in our lives. So who does get to decide what's true? Who gets to define identity and who gets to determine right from wrong? Help us think through this today. We've been invited Jonathan Morrow from Impact 360. Jonathan lives in the space working with Gen Z culture, worldview, and the questions underneath it all, who gets to be God? Welcome. Hey, thank you so much for having me on. I've been looking forward to this conversation. This is great. And we can tell Brock is a little excited about it. Nice. I am excited about it. I love talking about the rise of individualism. We've talked about this before and other podcasts, but before we critique really anything, we really need to define what this is. And so when we say rise of individualism, what are we actually seeing? And Jonathan, I'd love for you to kind of speak into this a Yeah, for sure. And so, so it's great to be with you. I love getting to work with students at Impact 360. I'm around high school, college students, grad students, and all the different things. And then we watch culture too, right? And so one of the things you have to think about is you kind of have you, you have a you are here moment and that's where we're at. So where, where are we and how did we get here a little bit? So what happened is, is probably over the last probably 15 to 20 years, there's been a increasingly fast shift towards individualism, which we'll get two in a second, but there's a couple of cultural factors that have been operating in the background, which have kind of cleared the way if you will. So first, you've got the idea of the rise of what's called scientism. And scientism is simply the belief that says only the hard sciences give us knowledge. Okay, that means biology, chemistry, physics, genetics, everything else gives us opinion. Okay, now as Christians, we love science. Science is great. Judeo-Christian worldview gave us the scientific method. However, if you say only the hard sciences give you knowledge about reality, then well, the Bible speaks a lot about, for example, spirituality, morality, history, all these other disciplines, all these other areas that inform our life are no longer knowledge, and knowledge is what authorizes us to act in the real world. So, you pull knowledge away, then you lose the next piece, which is truth. And you lose truth as the next one, because what happens there is we now, you know this, we live in this true for you, but not for me world. You do you live your truth, right? And here's the issue though, is what happens when I'm following my heart collides with you following your heart and those things hit and then who gets to decide if it's true for you, but not for me. And so if you lose knowledge and if you lose truth, then all you're left with is power. And power is where we're at today in the world because then it's, then it's, have alliances trying to shape things. Now students are growing up in this and they're watching this play out in real time on social media, online and politics in every space or corner. That's what they're seeing. So there's no knowledge about the biggest questions of life. There's no knowledge about identity. Who am I? And if there is no knowledge or truth about that, then I've got to create it myself. And so that's the first tension point that they've grown up in. And then they have honestly the exhausting burden of trying to build a life big enough to live. And then it changes all the time. And if it's only anchored to my feelings, well, how often do your feelings change? Right. And so, mean, so, if we've anchored all of life's biggest questions to that and they feel this kind of crushing sense of performance, they're afraid to fail. They've been, they've been bubble wrapped in some ways and just turned or the wild and others. And I think those are like confused in terms of what we protect and what we don't anymore. And so some of those are just some of the factors going on in the background underneath the surface. So you lose knowledge, you lose truth, you're left with power and kind of this self-definition. And I know we're going to unpack this a little bit as we go, but that's a little bit of kind of what's been going on. And now we live in a performative culture where everything happens online and social media. And so If I don't get enough likes, if I don't get enough feedback, if I don't get enough influence, um know, right? Everybody wants to be an influencer today. Back in the day, we used to see studies where little kids wanted to grow up to be an astronaut or be a fireman or be a paramedic or a doctor. Today, they want to be an influencer. And again, nothing wrong to have influence, but if their whole world is seen in this performative way, identity really has a hard time flourishing in that environment if you've lost knowledge and if you lost truth. Whoa, that is so helpful. So it's just not about I want freedom. It's I am the authority because it's all based on that power. in that authority, and I'm glad you brought up freedom because that's really connected at the heart of this, right? Because our culture defines freedom a certain way. And I think it's misdefined it. Freedom in our world today means I'm able to do whatever I want to do whenever I want to do it, as long as I don't hurt someone. And it leaves out the possibility that I might hurt who? Myself, right? But that's what freedom is. But actually that view of freedom is actually slavery because then you're just a slave to your desires and your feelings or whatever the algorithm is producing in your feed or whatever that might be. so freedom on the other hand, and if you want to talk about some of the solution of this is the idea that freedom is involved in cooperating with how God designed me to be. And that's going to involve cultivating the right wants and embracing the right restraints actually. That's actually Sean McDowell's definition. love that in his book, Chasing Love. He's a good friend. We've co-written books together and we teach together in a lot of formats, but I like his definition the best because freedom involves embracing restraint. Most people don't think about freedom involving restraint. And sometimes we have to cultivate the right wants too, because sometimes we don't want the things that are actually good. And so we have to kind of go, I need to want to want that. know, let's think about like, well, like maybe I'm not a reader. yet, but maybe I need to want to want to be a reader and then I can move towards that pathway or or things like that. So our culture is a misdefined freedom and so therefore everybody's thinking that you can create your own identity and then you get in this vicious cycle and trap and all the pressure and I think we're seeing Gen Z and soon to be Gen Alpha as they kind of come on their own. They're going to buckle under the weight of that because it's too much for any of us to bear because we can't We can't hold that and they certainly, certainly can. That's really helpful. That's good, Jonathan. So the old freedom is what? So growing up, freedom to our generation was the ability to pursue good, the ability, having the freedom to live good moral lives. And you're saying the new freedom is really the absence of constraint. Yeah. And so basically it's unbridled, do whatever you want, whenever you want. that's the problem because if somebody imposes on that, there's a term for this, coined and made popular by Carl Truman in his book, talking about expressive individualism and that idea. But the idea is there's a couple of things at play. We've moved from the authority of being outside of ourselves. And there's a good reason why people sometimes are skeptical of authority, right? Sometimes there's abuse, there's a ton of corruption. We see all of those things played out. if people are generally will, okay, well if the church and parents and educators and teachers and officers or whoever, they're no longer the authority, then what's called the locus of authority goes from out there to in here. And we've used from an external to an internal view. And that's kind of Charles Taylor, he's a sociologist, has talked a lot about this. And so once it's internal, then you have, and this is the word authenticity. You have what's called, I need to find the authentic self where I can be free. And here's the key. And this, if you understand this, you can really understand what's going on with the individualism today, because if anybody presses back or pushes back on your authentic self, it's deemed as a as, as oppressive. It's actually oppressive to do that. And there's kind of a Christianized version of kind of this expressive individualism in the church. And then there's kind of a broader out there, expressive individualism. But basically it's the truest part of me is how I think about myself, which is why we see all the gender confusion, the psychological separated from the biological, all of those kinds of things. That's just kind of byproducts of where we're at because of how we view what it even means to be human or what it means to be free today. And so you're seeing a disintegration of a lot of those things that used to be there all pulling apart. but then going internal for someone to determine what's actually real or authoritative. And that's where that kind of all those kind of threads kind of come together. Yeah, I think it's important to note, I think as you've just beautifully described and painted this picture of the way things are, that for those listening, that this isn't something that happened overnight. And Shelley and I actually talked about this extensively last year when we had a podcast on generations, when we looked at work from Jonathan Haidt and others, where we looked at how things moved along this trajectory to... as truth moved from objective to more subjective and as individualism became this ultimate attainment of freedom without restraint. But the authority problem, I think that's what we're into a little bit. That it's about really self-rule and this idea that I can rule over my own thoughts, my own feelings, own, well, everything within myself without restraint. But I think there's a problem here that you mentioned that if anybody presses in on the authentic self, it's oppressive. And I'd love to bring out the point that we actually press in on the authentic self. And I think nobody brought this out better than GK Chesterton and C.S. Lewis picked up on it as well with the problem of the yacht. uh Where there's this idea that I am the way that I am. And I also recognize there's a way that I ought to be and that I constantly fail to live up to that. No matter how I define who I am, when I try to live up to it, I'm never quite satisfied with the definition I come up with. So if I'm a father, I always feel like I should be a better father than I currently am. And this is why the self-help culture just exploded from the 80s until today, even more so. But if I'm a son or a brother or... or a church member or a friend, there's this feeling that I ought to be better than I currently am and never, never satisfied. And so it becomes a matter of who actually sits on this throne of authority. And it's where we get uncomfortable because we don't just want freedom. We want to be ultimate. But when we try, we always think we ought to be better. And so we're left with this one outcome every time we try to do this and be our own authority. It leads to despair. Yeah, you see, and then what's the response to despair? Because then we try to find something else to fill the void, something else to either deaden us to it, numb the pain, right? Or distract ourselves from it, kind of this amusement. And now we have a slot machine in our pocket that does that by serving up the next dopamine hit and the next algorithm. that just gives us, okay, a random, well, maybe this is going to make me feel better. And then we end up feeling worse. And that's where I think we've got to return to casting vision for living in objective reality, according to the nature of God's design. And so here's something to think about, you know, as we have this conversation, a lot of times, and this is a conversation I've been having a lot recently with students. Sometimes people think that it's called the myth of neutrality, that if somehow in the public square, like religion doesn't need to get involved or these kinds of things, we just need to be able to find these things, right? And that's kind of the humanist vision of things. But the problem is, is there's no such thing as neutral. There is no neutral because there's always worldview commitments around what is real, what is good, what is true, what is beautiful, how should I live, who am I, where did I come from, where does meaning and purpose come from, you know, all of those things. And so, This is where I think as followers of Jesus, we have something significant to offer students and the next generation and ourselves because, know, Brock, as you put it so well, you know, when we're left with despair, what we end up with is we've got to find something to do with that. And either we get in this exhausting cycle where we just kind of performance Christianity and exhausting kind of thing. Well, maybe I'll just earn God's love and I'll do the right things and everything else. Or I'm going to go down the pleasure and comfort trap or the distraction trap. And there's something so much better, which is to step into, because we are forgiven, because we're free in Christ, we are free to obey. And then we can grow. And this is something I've talked a lot about with our students and just reflect on, because I think it's so easy to fall into the performance trap, and that steals the joy of the Christian life and what I think we can give them. Because what we say is like, well, look, here's the thing. God doesn't love you more if you read your Bible, but you just won't grow if you don't. And so, you know, God doesn't love you more if you pray, but you won't grow if you don't. And so the difference is, is because I'm free and forgiven, now I'm free to obey and read my Bible to get to know God, to learn what he said about reality, to step into obedience. And then it doesn't become this trap or despair because so many of you, the spiritual life, like you were talking about, we get discouraged. like, man, am I still struggling with this thing? Why can't I break free from that? Why, why isn't this changed or how can I grow? You know, and a lot of that happens. And then we get in those, those cycles and then back to the individualism piece. Well, if I'm the one that defines the meaning and purpose of my life and I'm failing at it, then only I am to blame for all of that. So not only do I have the crushing weight of a false vision I now have, there's no one to help me on this because I'm the only one who can determine what's authentically true for me. So it's exhausting, it looks liberating, but it's actually a trap. And that's the thing that I think is so important for us to get back on the table and talk more about. That's so good. So let's talk about practically where we see this individual authority show up. You mentioned identity. We see it in identity conversation today, the sexual ethics of today. uh even in the deconstruction of faith that some people are resonant because we're our own authority, uh that my truth versus your truth language, even cancel culture adds right back to this. I also see it perhaps in church hopping that is so prominent today. Yeah. so, yeah, go ahead, Brock. I was just gonna say that church shopping thing, that's something we've talked about before, uh where we discussed that, where we make church consumeristic. And it's not what can I bring to the table as the one who's seeking to please and honor and glorify God as a member of his body. It's what can I get and what can I receive uh from this entity. And if you don't have the right benefits and you don't have the right programs and the right kinds of entertainment, well then I'm just going to move down the road because it's more about what I want and what I get than what I can actually give and contribute as a member of the body of Christ. so that just touched on a point right there. Yeah, no, that's good. And Shelly, to your point, I'm really glad you brought up those questions because if we put the self at the center, then what happens then is everything gets oriented around me. And so we've already looked at the fact that that's exhausting, but practically speaking, here's what that means. It means all of our existence, especially for students in the next generation, Gen Alpha, Gen Z, they have grown up in a hyper-personalized experience. I mean, Spotify has your list like your mix. It's it's Jonathan's mix. It's nobody else's mix. It's my special music. Nobody else and everything feeds into. And so if if I should have my own marketing tailored to me, my own food preferences, desires, comfort, then why wouldn't truth be conformed to what I think? Why wouldn't spirituality be my own mix of spirituality? Why can't gender be fluid or whatever I want it to be. Why can't all of these things? Because if reality is ultimately malleable that shapes around me, then that affects all of those things. Sexuality, affects morality, it affects spirituality, it affects all of those things. And so practically speaking, what we have to do is begin going, okay, first, how is that working? Number one, I don't think it's like, I think it doesn't take people too long to start running into those walls. Um, and then they're like, okay, that didn't feel good. And the older you get now, now proverb says a lot about this time is a great teacher. Uh, but wouldn't it be great if we could get it right more the first time than having to wait 22 times of hitting that same wall. And so, um, so that's, that's where I think like relationships, you know, a lot of students and teenagers want to be connected. So they'll get into a relationship where they're looking for love and affirmation. And then they find themselves manipulated really easily. Why? Because they need somebody to tell them they're okay. They need somebody to tell them you're valuable, you matter. And if we don't get those deepest needs met in our identity in God and how he defines those things, then we're going to kind of be like emotional beggars going from person to person to person to try to fill our cup. And then we end up with this weird codependency thing. So practically, if we put ourselves at the center of it, It's exhausting. It's confusing. It's disillusioning. It's frustrating. um It looks exciting at the beginning and liberating. Wow, I'm going to chart my own course. um And that's where we want to go. Hey, know, Jeremiah 6, 16 actually kind of had it right about the ancient paths and look where the ancient paths are and where the good way is and walk in it. But one of the most heartbreaking lines is that next line right after that. And it says, but we would not, you would not. When God was talking to Israel and Jeremiah and it's like, There's a bit, it's a part of our job and I mean for ourselves, but also for the students and for the next generation is don't you want to walk where the good way is? Don't you want to, don't you want to go where that is where the good way is? You know, that's, that's huge, right? And that's what you want to do. then sometimes people go, but they, but they would not, you know, they would not. And if people decide ultimately that they don't want it, you know, it's Jeremiah too, it's broken cisterns. It's ideas of things that are broken where they're trying to find water in life and there's not that there. So whether it's relationally, sexually, morality, spirituality, any of those things, practically speaking, when people pursue kind of this expressive individualism, this authenticity, it actually is a trap for them. And the better way is it's like, how has God designed me to function and flourish? And what is the good way that I might walk in it? That's so good. Yeah, I was just going to say that for those listening, like what a great challenge em to give to those in your sphere of influence that may be younger or maybe being a little bit older to pursue this this good way and that dire warning that that Jeremiah provides, you know, but they would not to show them like we actually have the option to not pursue this way. There's there's a good way of flourishing before you and why not pursue it. And then also going back to that whole problem of the odd thing to challenge. others to think, there's this understanding that when you're trusting yourself, you're always letting yourself down. And you can't avoid it. You always feel like you're falling short of some standard, even when you set it up for yourself. And that goes back to what you said earlier, Jonathan, about just trusting feelings. Well, what about when your feelings fail you? What about when your feelings let you down or they waver? And I think there's another problem here. that simply can't be overcome, which is around this idea of, you know, I want to be, I want to have authority inside of me. But if that's true, then correction and approval can also only come from within me. And that seems freeing, and it seems like the kind of thing that we would want. However, we never actually live like this. We're all trusting something or someone to guide us. and we're always seeking approval from the sort outside of ourselves. If you need proof of that, we prove it out every time. Every time we change our behavior to accommodate a certain friend group, every time we straighten up to impress a boss, every time we speak more formally and listen more carefully when speaking with someone we respect, we're all living out this idea of Romans, this distorted view. I should say, of Romans 6, 16 through 18, where it makes it clear that we're either submissive to this way of sin or we're submissive to this idea of righteousness, but we're submitting to something, submissive to someone. Someone is our master and it's never ourselves and we bear that out all the time. And it made me think of that when you said, you know, we always want to be approved. You're not approving from within yourself, ever. You're always performing. to be approved by others, even digitally. Social media didn't explode until Facebook said, hey, let's put a like button in there. Now all of sudden, I have social proof of being approved by others for what I do. So we can say we're our own authority all we want. But the bottom line is you're always submitting to something or someone outside of yourself. You simply can't avoid it. And that's just another great thing for those listening to bring up to somebody who maybe struggling with this idea or you see individualism kind of rising up, to kind of just point out to them as an interesting thing to consider. Yep. So at this point, we've talked about how culture is looking at this and where we see it play out. Now it's time to hold it up to scripture. Christianity does absolutely affirms the dignity of the individual. Genesis says we're made in the image of God with infinite value, dignity, and worth. We have agency, we have responsibility, we have a personal relationship with God. But Christianity never affirms our autonomous self-rule. From the very beginning in Genesis three, the temptation is you can be like God, not just knowing good and evil, but defining it. And I think that's where we see this authority shift. and I think this is a really important point that you brought up, Shelly, because one of the things that we're trying to navigate right now, all of us, and every disciple has to answer this question, and every follower of Jesus is ultimately who says so. um It's the question of authority. And I do think, I think the number one issue facing the church today is authority, because it kind of fans out into everything else. from the church perspective. I think there's other issues facing students and parents that we could talk about. But I think it comes down to this, and I've always loved one of my favorite books of the New Testament is 1 Thessalonians. In 1 Thessalonians 2.13, Paul has this great passage where he says, you know, we always thank God that when you receive the word of God from us, you received it as what it was, the word of God, not the words of men, which is at work in doing its, performing its work in you who believe. And so there's kind of a posture check that we all have to have as disciples towards God's Word. It's either, does God really know what he's talking about? And that's kind of a first principle of discipleship. Not just about the things I can't prove, like heaven someday, like yes, heaven is real, but I've not been there yet. And so we trust Jesus that he knows, but does he know what's best about my relationships, my sexuality, my desires, my entertainment? My scrolling habits, like, does he actually know stuff? And does he have knowledge? So back to our earlier challenges, if Christianity really is a knowledge tradition, and it is, then it gives us knowledge about morality, spirituality, history, and everything else. And therefore, does Jesus know what he's talking about? You know, Luke 640, you know, when we're fully trained, we'll be like our master, like our teacher. Not perfect, but fully trained. And that's because we're growing in how we think. And you can't do that if you don't trust him. And so the authority has to move back to Jesus knows what he's talking about, about everything. And where there's a gap, it's either I'm stubborn, rebellious, or I don't fully understand, but I need to trust that he knows what he's talking about. And so there's a posture there that I wanted to kind of highlight because, you know, as we think about God's Word, and know, and Brock, you were saying this as well, we can't correct ourselves.

Well, Hebrews 4: 27:12

12 says that the Word of God is alive and active and sharper than any two-edged sword. Well, and it's separate. So it's got to be able to do work in us. And if we don't have a heart posture that allows that to happen, then that kind of change and growth and honestly freedom won't happen. And we'll get stuck in those loops, kind of a spiritual feedback loop that's kind of a negative spiral unless we're able to allow God to do the work he needs to do in our hearts and minds. And so, And then one last principle, which I think is so important.

That's why the Proverbs says, Proverbs 4: 27:46

23 says, watch over your heart with all diligence for from it flow the springs of life.

We live from our hearts, but transformation begins in our mind, Romans 12: 27:52

2, you know, they conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the inner and give your mind. And so there's a posture of a disciple that I think is the antidote to this individualism that we're seeing. And you are spot on, we do have agency, we are accountable, we are creative. God created us on purpose in those ways. And then the enemy is so um sneaky and so just such a liar because he just gets in there and twists that. And then we get all twisted up as we pursue those things. So I think those are great, great things to holler. Jonathan, thank you so much for helping us think clearly through this. This has been such a great conversation and I know it could go on and on, but time is short. uh friends, if this conversation stirred something in you, don't ignore it. Authority is not a side issue. It shapes our identity, our parenting, our faith, and our relationships. Yeah, someone's always going to sit on the throne of your heart directing your desires. The question is, is it going to be you or is it going to be Jesus? And if you know someone who doesn't know the Lord, who you can just kind of see, is just interested in running their own life, their own way, and convinced of their own authority. make them aware of the God from which they're running. The God that, when we look back to even Genesis, when all this thing kicked off, when Adam and Eve first sought autonomy from God and what they thought was going to be knowledge and power, what they found out was it was the fullness of knowledge of guilt and shame. But look what the God of our universe did. He didn't crush them and he didn't destroy them. He immediately announced the gospel. immediately gave the proto-evangel and the coming of Christ because this is the God that we serve, the God who loves us. He doesn't destroy individualism, he gives us the ability to flourish as individuals. And as was said so well at very beginning of this, true freedom is found when there's constraint from danger and from disappointment and from destruction. And our good, loving God provides all of that. So point people to that truth and show them who our true and loving and gracious God really is, and given that challenge of why would you want to run from this kind of God who loves you so much? So good, it reminds me, Jonathan, one of your favorite quotes of, and I have many, I wrote down many, um but now we're free and forgiven, now we're free to obey. What a beautiful, beautiful quote. So again, thank you for being here. um Brock, what's happening next month to tune back in? next month we just keep on pressing into the cultural moment. We decide these as we see what's trending and going on. until then, we challenge and encourage you to live in Christ. and for culture. Thanks for joining us. See you next time.