Sista Check: "Respectfully, F**k You!"

This week's Sista Check is completely unfiltered. Tash shares an impromptu rant about friendships, the unspoken expectations people place on one another, and the entitlement that can quietly creep into relationships. Through honest self-reflection, she explores the tension between showing up for others and protecting your own peace. If you've ever felt drained by one-sided friendships or pressured to always be available, this conversation is your reminder that boundaries aren't selfish—they're necessary. Sometimes the most loving thing you can say is, "Respectfully... F you."

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Sis, every now and again, sometimes you have to say, girl, respectfully, fuck you.

SPEAKER_00 0:16

No more buries. No more bobbies. It's such a good feeling. When you get it, you're here.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

I have been very closely about the year. However, over time it seems like the relationship has kind of thought off a little bit to feel back. We all know that like we like it out here, and I like it too, right? However, when I look at my friendship today, I have transformed into a space, into a place where, you know, I want to pour into my friends the same way they pour into me. And one thing that I have realized about this person is is that how can I say this? Everything they only reach out when it's beneficial to them. They only contact me when it's beneficial to them and when they want to support, right? So when it comes to that, today it was an event. And it was from six to eight. It was after work hours. I knew about it ahead of time. However, me and this person have not really had a time to like catch up. And before today's event, the last time I heard from them was kind of like around March or sometime, right? So when it comes to that, I was like, I could go, but I really don't want to go. Simply because I just don't want to show up for this one thing, particularly when we have not spoken in between the three months of the last text message, right? Ultimately I decided not to attend. But you know how you still want to be courteous and send a text message. And so I did that. I said, Hey, you know, wish you well in your event today. I will not be able to make it. However, I am down for a one-on-one whenever you're free. The response was I figured as much when you didn't respond. I then went on to say, Hey, I'm in town for the month of July. They came back and said, I hope to see you soon this year. You missed everything prior. And I'ma stop right there. It was that line, you missed everything prior. Now I just said we have not spoken in three months, but it was the you missed everything prior that I just cannot let go. I just said, Yeah, but I've been cheering you on and you know, watching and cheering, you know, so and so. Okay, cool. I'm telling you all this today because we need to be mindful and just say, you know what, respectfully, fuck you. It's okay. And I don't mean that in a harsh way. I really don't. It sounds harsh, but I don't. What I want for us is to, especially us people pleasers, I want us to stand firm, stand 10 toes down, and really get to a point to where where we recognize where we are the ones carrying the relationship. A lot of times we overstay our welcome in places where we shouldn't be, where time and things have moved on, and that's okay. But it was the you missed everything prior, as if there was an expectation for me to come. Everyone who knows me, or majority of everyone who knows me, knows I do not do well with last minute invitation, and in addition to last minute, it's also been the urgency that comes along with it. You're asking me to come to something that's important to you the day of as in hours before. There's no way that I can make that, and so to say you've missed everything prior, if it meant something to you, then you should have made sure I've known at least 24, 48, or even 72 hours in advance. When I processed at home and how I got to the respectfully FU was because there was no mention or even acknowledgement rather of the timeline that I said, Hey, I'm available in July, I'm be in town, and it was just like, Well, hopefully, I'll just see you this year, you know. And I'm like, possibly or just not, y'all. I'm just in a place where I am tired of being the one to carry the friendship. I am tired of being the one to call and initiate conversation. I'm not saying you have to be on my line, I'm not saying we have to be on each other's line, but I need friendships and relationships that go deeper than just a social media reel sometimes. It doesn't have to be a long three-hour conversation, but you know what? A voice note, a check-in, hey, how you doing? I know we haven't caught up in a while thinking about you or something. Hey, if you have time, I would love for you to join me on this day, such and such, such a time. You know, just something more than it's about you. And on the flip side, taking accountability, I also just don't have a desire to reach out because I kind of already know what the conversation is going to be, right? So when I think about it, it's just like, what am I gaining or what do I have to lose? And again, if my presence is so valuable, then why wouldn't you let me know in a timely fashion? However, calma, but to come back and say, Well, you missed everything else, that's the part that did it for me, and in all honesty, it doesn't make me want to show up for you because I'm like, if this is how it's going to be, then no. So, yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and stop here. But y'all leave a comment below and let me know am I tripping? Am I seeing this through a different lens? Am I wrong? Listen, we're not even gonna blame on the hormones. Your girl is getting off her cycle, but nonetheless, I'm not about to let nobody play in my face. So leave me a comment and let me know. Am I tripping? Also, leave a review down below because I do read them and I love y'all so much. But I promise later on this week I will be back to my loving life self. I do have a full episode called Rediscovering Sisterhood. So I will give that to you on Wednesday or Thursday because I gave you all your Wednesday uplift on a Monday night. But girl, thank you for hanging out with me and let me get this off my chest tonight with no notes, no affirmation. Oh, let me go back after this yap session. I would say today's affirmation is my eyes and ears are not deceiving me. Inhale, exhale. My eyes and ears are not deceiving me. I know what I read, I know what I feel, and my eyes and ears are not deceiving me. Sometimes it can come off like something else, but we have to be careful not to blame it on hormones and truly see things for what they are, and people for who they are too. Okay? So I will give y'all this new episode this week. Look at y'all being a two for one. Look at me being back. But either way, girl, let me get off your mind so you can get back to watching the shot, or at least let me get back to it. Thanks again for listening, sis. I'll talk to you later this week. Love you, girl. Bye.