EP #11 Reset Your Mindset: The Awareness Shift That Changes Everything

Have you ever actually sat with the word mindset? Your mind is set—but you weren’t born that way. In this episode, we break down what mindset really is, who “set” it in the first place, and why so many people stay stuck on autopilot without even realizing it. If you’ve ever said “that’s just how I am,” this one will flip a switch.

You’ll learn why awareness is non-negotiable if you want to change your life, how your beliefs shape your personality and your results, and how to start rewiring your brain without falling into toxic positivity or fake affirmations. This is about taking the wheel—resetting the settings—so you can become the version of you you actually choose.

Visit to Submit a question, Suggest a Topic, or just let me know how this episode landed for you. 

https://www.kindylkeeton.com/podcast

Interested in booking Kindyl to speak.. Visit the link below

https://www.kindylkeeton.com/speaking

Join our Mailing List

https://www.kindylkeeton.com/

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Have you ever really set and just thought about the word mindset and what it really means? Mindset. Your mind is set. But you weren't born with a mindset. Have you ever really stopped and asked yourself who set it? Change doesn't start with what you do. Change starts with who you are. I'm your host, Kendall Keaton, and this is the identity advantage. Okay, I really want to sit with this word mindset today. Because we throw this word mindset around like everybody understands it. But like 40 or 50 years ago, if someone said you've got to work on your mindset, that many people would have understood what they were talking about. And now it's everywhere. You've got growth mindset, success mindset, abundance mindset. But do we actually know what it means? Mindset, your mind is set. But you weren't born with it. You weren't born with a mindset. You were born a blank slate, and your mind was set for you by what was said to you, by what you observed, by what you experienced, by what you interpreted, by the beliefs that you formed from all of this. Your mindset is a culmination of everything you believe, and it expresses itself through your personality. This is why I love the Joe Dispenza quote: that your personality creates your personal reality. One of my favorite quotes, because your personality is made up of your thoughts, your habits, your emotional reactions, your beliefs, your patterns. And all of those create exactly what you get in your life. We are walking self-fulfilling prophecies. What you repeatedly think about will become what you believe. That is neuroscience. There's no way around that. If you think about it often enough, your brain forms a connection, it becomes a belief, it becomes automatic. And what you believe shapes how you behave. How you behave shapes all of your results. And your results ultimately reinforce all of those beliefs. This is a mindset. It's our personality, it's how we show up, it's how we think, it's how we react to things. And most of us are living inside a mindset that we did not consciously choose. And what nobody talks about is that you can't change a mindset that you are not aware of. There's a whole bunch of stuff out there about rewiring your beliefs, rewiring your subconscious mind. You absolutely can do that. But you first have to be aware of how it's wired now, what your mindset is now, and how it was set. Awareness is non-negotiable. You cannot fix it until you allow yourself to feel what's already there. Okay, huge example. Let's talk sports. I'm going to use gymnastics because I was a gymnast growing up and I coached for years and years and years, and I've coached every level of athlete. Okay, but this will go into any sport, pretty much anywhere. When I coach an athlete and they are making some sort of mistake in a trick or in a skill, the first thing that we do is not to fix it. I point out what it is that they're doing wrong and I tell them they have to feel it. So let's just make it really simple. Let's go real simple and say, let's say they're bending their knees when they're supposed to be straight. And I say, can you feel your knees bending? If they say no, they're not going to be able to straighten them out because they don't know what bent feels like. So therefore they're not going to know what straight feels like. I say, do it again exactly how you've been doing it. Don't fix anything. I just want you to start feeling where your knees are bending. If it's a hand placement and something, just be aware of where your hand is at when you do this trick, when you do this skill. Do it until you can be aware of it. And when they're like, oh, I felt it that time, oh, I saw it that time. Okay, now we can make the adjustment. And once they have felt what they're doing wrong, then they can almost immediately fix it and switch it. But until they can feel that motion, they are powerless to make the correct one. So until you are aware, and that can go for any, for anything. If you're swimming and you're having a technical issue, if you're, I don't know anything about swimming, if you're, you know, football, basketball, tennis, I don't care what it is. If there's a physical motion you're making that is wrong and your body has has made it a habit, you have to feel that motion first. You have to feel the wrong thing before you can make your body correct it and do the right thing. It is no different when it comes to your mindset, when it comes to, oh, I just want to be able to think more positive. You have to become aware. We try to avoid and run from. Anytime we feel a negative thought, we want to immediately push it away. No, you have to be aware of that. Go at there is space for that. You have to be aware of everything that you're thinking right now, even if it's something you don't want to be thinking, and actually, especially if it's something you don't want to be thinking or feeling, because you have to find the root of it, you have to feel it. Because when you become aware of it, then you can switch it. You can choose something better. You can start to flip your mindset. Because if you choose to immediately run from it, to run away from it, it's going to continue to run you on autopilot. It's still running in the background. We're just trying to ignore it. We say things like, well, this is just how I am. This is just my personality. This is just how my world works. This is how my brain works. No, it's how your mind was set. And until you question it, it runs you. But the moment you become aware, this is the moment your life can begin to change. Like if you're honest with yourself and you find, you finally say, okay, I know I have a mindset and I know it's not serving me. And I know I can be different, I can act different, I can do different. And this is the hard part because we have to face some ugly parts of ourselves that maybe we don't want to look at. The parts of us that will act out of anger, the parts of us that will act out of jealousy. And we don't want to admit that we have that. But becoming more self-aware means being willing to see yourself clearly as you are. And you might have to accept that there's some negative things that you're talking about and thinking about. You might have to accept that you're there are moments in which you are being defensive. We might assume rejection before it even happens. We might default to worst case scenario without really wanting to. We might play small and call it being realistic, lower our expectations and say, well, I'm just trying to be realistic. And you have to see that for what it is and be willing to admit it. And if you can't, then nothing will change. Your mindset won't change. Your personality won't change, therefore, your behaviors are not going to change, your results are not going to change. We have to take responsibility for all of these thoughts, all of these feelings, all of these reactions. Blaming others, blaming situations, blaming will keep your mindset frozen. It keeps you where you are at, it keeps your mindset where it's at, and nothing changes. Just taking responsibility for some of that can reset it. And just know the difference between responsibility and blame. Taking responsibility does not mean now you're blaming yourself. You have an ability to respond. That is responsibility. You are taking responsibility for how you respond from this moment forward. But what you don't do is expect for this to change overnight. Just know that this is a process. But it is a process that is worth it. But if we try to flip a 180, right, this is where affirmations become, they start to feel fake. This is where toxic positivity honestly can creep in, right here. When we start to make every single thing in our life positive. And we start forcing affirmations. Like I am beautiful, I love myself. When deep inside we still have some body issues going on, right? We're looking in the mirror and saying, I'm absolutely beautiful and I love my body. But there's a part of us that's saying that is total bullshit. And it feels fake. And it can feel hard and it can feel toxic. Toxic positivity is not transformation, it's just suppressing all of that negative stuff. And we sometimes have to let all of that come up. It's just recognizing those negative thoughts, those negative emotions. Question it, get a little bit curious about it, start seeing it from a different perspective. Just noticing what you can notice about it, not being judgmental about your negative thoughts, not getting angry at yourself for being angry. You're on a roll, you're having a really good day, you're being really positive, and then something makes you angry, and then you get angry that you got angry, and it just spirals. If you feel a thought that you don't much care for, a part of your mindset, a response that is not maybe ideal, just question it, just get curious, don't get angry at it because that just makes everything worse. Give it space to say what it needs to say, and it kind of loses its potency at that point. Your mindset, your mind was set through repetition, through repeated experiences, through repeated messaging, repeated emotions that you felt. If things were said to you like you're just too much, or you're not enough, or you know what, money is hard to come by, or people will always leave you. Don't trust anyone. Success changes people. Don't get your hopes up. That's a huge one. Don't hold your breath, don't get your hopes up. These kind of things were said to you over and over, and they created beliefs, and now you just think that's who you are. It's created an identity for you that's forming your behaviors. And it's just looping over and over, and we have to create a turning point, we have to create a stopping point. And that stopping point is awareness, not judgmental awareness, just awareness. And if you will do this, it is incredibly empowering. It can feel uncomfortable, but isn't it is empowering because it gives you control now. It gives you the control for a moment, it takes you out of autopilot and gives you the power to make some change, to reset it. Interrupting these patterns, choosing new thoughts, and then repeating them long enough that they can become new beliefs. I know this does not sound like a sexy process, and it's not fast and it's not overnight. And the people who tell you that it is are feeding you a line. This is real. If you want to begin resetting your mindset, rewiring your beliefs, rewiring your subconscious mind, you have to start getting really curious and asking yourself some questions about what you believe. What do I believe about money? Do I believe that that money is easy to come by, or do I believe that it's only available to certain people, to certain circles, that you have to have money to make money? That is huge, and that held me back for so long. Holds a lot of people back. You have to have money to make money. It's not necessarily true. What do I believe about relationships? Do I believe that I give and give and give and never get anything back? Do I believe that that's just how relationships are? What do I believe about success? What do I believe about my body? What do I believe about my abilities and my capabilities? And then asking, where did that come from? Why do I even believe that? You might be really surprised about what you find. And if your mind was set once, it can be set again. You have to choose to do it on purpose. You are not stuck with these settings. The moment you become aware, you take the wheel. And from that point on, we have got to stop saying this is just how I am. If you don't like it, change it. If you like how this is just the way I am, and you are proud of it, and that's how you want to be, then absolutely keep that pattern. Go for it. But be honest with yourself about it. About what that pride is. This is just how I am. Did you create that version of you and do you like it? Or do you want something different and do you want to start saying, well, this is who I'm becoming? Do you want to start acting like the person that you want to be? Do you want to choose how you are? Do you want to take ownership? You have the power to create literally anything you want, and it all starts in your mindset. And you have to decide if you are okay with the mindset that you have that was set for you, or if you want to take control over that and set it yourself. Yes, it took years, it took decades for your mindset to become what it is today, but it does not have to take years and decades to build it new. It was built without your awareness. You weren't choosing throughout your childhood. You didn't get to choose the experiences, the thoughts, the situations, the things that were said to you. You didn't get to choose any of those. But the moment you become aware that you do have a mindset and that it is something that is there, that is real, you can choose to change it. And at that moment, if this is that moment for you, we no longer get to blame anybody else for the way that we are because we have the awareness now of how to change that and how to become who we want to be. And again, it's not about blaming yourself at this point. Nothing that happened to me as a child is my fault. It was not a perfect childhood, but nothing that happened to me was my fault. I'm not saying that I'm taking responsibility and blame now for everything that happened to me and everything that I thought and everything that I believed. What I do now is say, okay, from this moment on, from that moment where I realized, oh, wait, maybe I can think something else. Now it is my fault how I act. Now it is my responsibility what I get, what I choose to do, the results that I get from it. I don't get to say, this is just how I am because this and this and this happened to me as a child. Well, I'm an adult now, and now I understand how my brain works. Now I understand that I can choose the situations I put myself in. I can choose the things I say to myself. I can choose what I believe when other things are said to me. I don't get to say, I feel bad today because so-and-so said this to me. So-and-so said this to me, and I have the choice to believe it and act on it, to believe it and allow it into my mindset loop, to allow it into my thoughts and my emotions, my motivations, my triggers. Or I can say, you know what, whatever you are talking about right now, that is an internal issue, and I hope for you the best. But this is what I believe about me. This is what I believe about what I'm doing. I have the power and the control to choose what I believe and what I say and what I do and who I am. And now, if I want to say this is just who I am, awesome. I chose that version of me consciously, purposely. And when I act out of that version of me, I am an integrity. And when I act out of the version of me that was created from my past circumstance, from my past situations, it feels gross and I feel out of integrity, and I am aware in that moment of what I'm doing. And you can flip the switch. You can say, Nope, that's not how I am, that's how I was. That's just who I was. But I became this person, and now this is just who I am. Once you become aware, you have a responsibility, not a blame, but a responsibility, an ability to respond in the way you choose. What is your choice? Thank you so much for listening. And if something you heard today made an impact or changed the way you think somehow, then share it with somebody you care about. Because sometimes it's that one moment, that one idea, that changes everything. And until next time, remember if you want to do something you've never done, you have to become someone you've never been. That is the identity advantage.