Interview with Elieen Grubba

 Join me on Podcast with Duffy for an inspiring conversation with Eileen Grubba as we talk about her journey in the entertainment industry, overcoming challenges, and the passion that continues to drive her career. This heartfelt interview is filled with encouragement, insight, and real conversations about perseverance, creativity, and never giving up on your dreams. Don’t miss this special episode. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

With Duffy, presented by Duffy's Moon Pictures LLT. And I am your host, Duffy. We will dive into real stories, real voices, and real conversations that matter. Sit back, relax, and let's begin. Eileen, thank you for joining us on podcasts with Duffy. And how have you been and what projects are you currently excited about?

SPEAKER_01 0:24

How have I been? I've been great. Thank you. Um, the projects I'm excited about. Well, there's a few that I'm very excited about. Uh, we have a film called You Are Here that took a lot of years to get launched, an independent film. And uh we're wrapping up post a week before we premiere in Las Vegas. So uh the premiere is this early next week in Las Vegas, and then we are going on a road trip across the entire country to a lot of major cities and smaller towns, and we're taking the film out in in the in the form of events in all of these locations. So um we're still working on all of that and getting everything ready so that we can launch our our road trip and the family that is responsible for the film, the writer Jack Kennedy, and his wife Claire Kennedy, who directed the film and produced, uh, and their three kids and their three dogs are getting into Winnebago and going across the country that way to all of the events, and I'll be popping around by flights and going in and out. Um, but I'm super excited about it. I haven't even seen a cut of the film. I'm excited to see it. I know that we had a wonderful time filming, and uh Claire was one of the easiest directors I've ever worked with. She let me just let it rip. I had an amazing wild character, and she let me create and go wild on that screen and have lots of fun, and it was just fantastic. It was a fantastic creative collaboration, and I'm I'm thrilled for that one. And then I'm I'm also super happy about um the film we did called Goat, which is Sony animated pictures, and it was just in theaters around the world, and now it's streaming on Netflix and GOAT uh Sony took a lot of the performers who came out of the Easter Seals Disability Film Challenge films through the years and put a lot of them into training and workshops and getting them ready to be uh in a loop group. And this was the first major film that hired this loop group, so it was a game changer, I think, in this community. And I'm super excited about the work everyone did because what normally would have taken twice as long with a high-paid typical loop group uh was done in half the time with this group, and they knocked it out of the park. A lot of the little characters, all the little characters, and Sony was wonderful to everyone. They were treated equally, fairly, credited well, and invited to all the fun, including the premiere. And I just think that's that's how we change the game in our industry is include and uh uh make space for people who are ready, trained, talented, excited to work, and we shouldn't care what their differences are. So GOAT makes me super happy. I hope everyone goes to see it. If it's in theaters around you, go in a theater because it's such a fun film. And if not, watch it on your big screen on Netflix.

SPEAKER_00 3:49

And you built such a diverse career in television, film, writing, and producing. When you look back, what first inspired you to pursue an acting professional?

SPEAKER_01 4:01

Ha, that's funny. Um, you know, when I was a little girl, I used to make puppets out of whatever paper scraps I could find and make little puppets. And I used to do little puppet shows and charge people in nickel to watch my puppet shows. So I guess I started storytelling at a very young age. And um, you know, for a few years of my life there, I was dealing with major health issues and paralysis, so I was in a wheelchair. And, you know, when you're in that situation, you learn to get creative. You know, you do what you can with what you have at any moment in life, and so I created and drew and built things, and um, my creative juices were very sparked then, and um and they just kept going. I ended up uh doing a lot of artwork in high school and getting an art scholarship to University of Florida, and also um I in high school did started doing stuff on the stage, and I was a cheerleader too, because that was one of my dreams. So I started cheerleading like as soon as I could start walking on all the little league football um teams and stuff, and so uh that's a form of entertainment right there, you know, and and I had so much fun doing it was always a dream of mine, and I did it regardless of what my legs were capable of, and I I just did it and kept going. And so I guess entertainment has been a part of my way of expressing myself for a lot of years, and then when I got to um adult life and after college, I thought I was gonna be a fashion designer, but I actually got pulled into the modeling world, and then because of some experiences I had there, I decided I need to learn this industry and know what I'm getting into, and that drew me into acting and training at the actors. I mean, sorry, start Alliance Theater in Atlanta and then doing stage plays, and then I went to New York and then LA, and then of course the actors' studio and and beyond. So it's been a non-stop journey all my life.

SPEAKER_00 6:16

And you includes work on major shows like Pla the Walking Dead, which is one of my favorites, another one, Sons of Anarchy, and New Amsterdam and Criminal Minds. Which role challenged you the most emotionally or creatively?

SPEAKER_01 6:31

The one that I've had the opportunity to truly be challenged and go for it in a lot of different directions was the role for NBC's Game of Silence. Because my character went from her mid-30s to almost 60 and back and forth in time, and she's an alcoholic, trailer park woman mother, poor family, verbally abusive to her daughter, and then she becomes this woman who's more settled down, but still an alcoholic, and much wiser, and um it's it was just such an interesting, interesting, fun character to play. And the writer David Hudgens just gave me so much to play with, and I always wish that series would have gone on and on. Um, of course, I loved my role in Sands of Anarchy. Um, that one was supposed to go on, but there were complications that were way outside of me that had to do with other characters in the show, and so my character didn't get to go on, continue on. But um, in the short time I was on the show, that character made such an impact, which surprised me because you know, I would go out to all these events that were supporting veterans and stuff because the show was very much supportive of our veterans and um the world they travel in. And uh I just found out, I didn't even know until I was hitting the road with supporting these events that you know, we had rival biker gangs that would come together in the same space just because they wanted to meet precious Ryan. And I'm like, really? That's so wild to me. Um, but this character, you know, she fought back, she wasn't afraid of the guys and she survived, which she was one of the only female characters that got her kids out and survived. So it would have been neat to see her go on. And I wish I had a direct in-route to the people who made the show, um, Kurt Sutter and all of them, because I would highly recommend a women of anarchy show. I would too. I would love to see a women of anarchy show.

SPEAKER_00 8:46

You did have a small role in feel, The Walking Dead. Yes. How did you feel on that show? I mean, how was it like actually welcome with the big name people of The Walking Dead?

SPEAKER_01 8:57

Oh, I gotta tell you, I had such a story with that show. Um these are the things that are happen behind the scenes that no one knows about when they're watching your performances. But um when I got the audition for that show, I was between two surgeries. I had just had major surgery on my ankle and it didn't quite work right. And I needed another surgery, and I was losing my health insurance because that's how our union works. If you're not constantly working, you lose your health insurance. Well, when you got a challenge like a surgery that didn't work, you're out of work for a little while. And so I couldn't walk when I got the audition. So, you know, I'm a tough chick. I've dealt with pain all my life, I've had to hide a lot of things to work in this business. And at this particular time, I needed to make my health insurance so I could get the next correction on my ankle. So I didn't really care what anybody thought about the whole shebang. I was like, I'm getting this role. And I had my roommate drop me off at the front door of the casting office, and I knew the casting directors, so I knew this was a risk. I took some of leave, which I never do, and I forced myself to walk through that door without my crutches. I left my crutches in the car, and I had a huge bag, and I just came in there and I made sure they never saw me walk straight at them. I swung the bag around, just anything to hide what I was actually dealing with. But the beauty of it was that the character's angry. And so I put all that pain into that. And when that audition started, I just went at them, you know. And I if you see that part in the in the show, I saw them. Right. So I booked the role and I was so excited. And now I was like, oh boy, now I have to, it was shooting in Mexico, so I had to take a train from LA to San Diego where they were picking me up and bringing me to Rosarita. And I had to leave my crutches at home because they didn't know about this, right? So I get on the train. I was having a lot of trouble with my ankle giving out. It was really hard. I had to flag down a cart to get across the train station because I couldn't walk that distance. I get on the train, uh, but just before I do, I wobbled, spilled my coffee all down the front of me, and now I had to change my clothes. And I'm hobbling, covered in coffee across the train, trying to get to my seat. And there was this wonderful man sitting there, and he just smiled and he goes, Are you okay? And I said, Yeah, I'm okay. I just, you know, I just got off crutches, literally just got off crutches this morning to come down here and do this job. And he goes, You're working on Fear of the Walking Dead, aren't you? And I said, How did you know that? He goes, So am I. I'm on the stunt team. And he goes, Do you know that your character gets into a fight sequence and pushes all these guys around and runs? He he's like, You you've got the biggest team of stunt performers coming in. It's gonna, you're gonna be in the middle of a big fight scene. And I was like, Oh boy, what am I gonna do? I didn't know that. They don't give us the scripts very much, you know, they don't give us the scripts, we have the sides. So he I sat down and talked to him for a while. He goes, You know what? I got you. We're gonna figure this out. Let me talk to the guys when I get there. So when we got there, and the director is like, so now we need you to get in this fight and then push this guy and then run all the way as far as you can out of the shot. And I just looked at him and I just smiled and I said, Well, I can't run. And he goes, What do you mean? I was like, I literally left my crutches at home to be here. And and now what are they gonna do? They can't fire you now, right? I'm on set. So uh he goes, like, what are we gonna do? And I said, It's it's no problem. I'm gonna start the fight and then I'll either fall or and then the stunt guys stepped up and said, You know what? Fall on us, we're gonna bounce you out of the scene sideways, you like a pinball. And we did, and we pulled it off, and it was wonderful, and it worked, and nobody was bothered. It worked, you could see the pain on my face, it worked for the scene, and ultimately they wrote in another episode for me, so I ended up coming back. And I got my health insurance and I got to have my other surgery being.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

And that's why I had said to you, my zombie stuff is based off the walking dead. Because I inspired by it.

SPEAKER_01 13:38

We did what we had to do, we got it, we got our we got the job done. I always get the job done. Believe me, I wouldn't take a job if I didn't think I could pull it off. Um, sometimes they don't know how I'm gonna pull it off. But it's interesting, and I think it's important sometimes for people to hear the things that someone with a disability has to do to survive in this industry. And the risks I've had to take and the things I've had to muster up the strength and courage to do are far epically beyond what most actors could even imagine. And I have so many talented, exceptionally skilled and accomplished actors around me at the actor studio, and they tell me all the time, oh my gosh, you actually did that. And I'm like, Yes, I did. And I will continue to do whatever it takes to continue to live my dreams in spite of what my body tries to tell me to do.

SPEAKER_00 14:34

You know, now you have had many actors talk about rejection Hollywood, and what were some of the target moments in your career to keep you moving forward and also living with a disability in this industry and the way Hollywood can be, do you think they have improved anything for people like us with disabilities?

SPEAKER_01 14:56

Um, I do know that we have improved things. We have. We've fought hard for this. I've been in the trenches for decades fighting for this community. And in my youth, in my 20s, you know, when you're in your 20s, you're you're most agile, you're most able to move well, even with a disability, because as you get older, it just gets harder, more painful, all the challenges, more surgeries, whatever. But you also have the face, you know. In my 20s, I had the face that you could catch me on any angle, and it was fine for the screen, you know, and and then you know, they won't let you work. You know, because in that age range, when I was young, everyone was scared of including any kind of visible disability, especially for a female in Los Angeles. You know, they were a little kinder about it in New York. Uh, Los Angeles had a long way to go because Los Angeles industry generally will care more about aesthetics than they will about content, depth. And thankfully that's changing. And I think we're finally getting to a space where people want to feel, they want to, they want something real, they want grit. And, you know, we have seen epic changes just the last few years, but for many years we were just inching along, inching along. Most of my 20s, I couldn't even get an audition. You know, when I first came here, tons of auditions. As soon as they saw the movement, those doors closed. You know, there's still a lot of closed doors in casting to this day. It's unfortunate. Um, I know there's a lot of fear there, but it that's from unknowing. You know, fear comes from not knowing. And you know, one time somebody asked me, uh, why does Hollywood always make all these stories about like when someone has paralysis or they're paralyzed, they want to kill themselves. And um, my answer was, well, one of the things that human beings fear more than death is paralysis. It's like the number one thing they fear more than death is paralysis. And my answer to that is that's because they don't know people like me.

SPEAKER_00 17:15

And we're glad you're fighting for us. What? We're glad you're fighting for us.

SPEAKER_01 17:21

Thank you. And I have a lot of friends who have spinal cord injuries, who walk, who deal with the pain every day, and their lives are epic. I mean, these are the stories Hollywood tells about, and yet they run from it when the real person's on the screen and or wants to be on the screen. And to me, that means they're losing the you know, average life brings you here and here with emotions. You have a life like ours, and it's like it's fireworks, and it's exciting to watch, and there's energy that comes with that, and there's energy that comes with survival, but also there's such a passion to want to live your dreams because most people in this community don't have the same life expectancy. That's huge. That means we need to hurry when we're young, not be kept out all our younger years fighting for just scraps. Uh, we also don't have the same set of cards as everybody else. We got to deal with whatever we're working with. And I would love to see our industry get to a place of humanity where we accept people for who they are because we've been asked to accept everyone for who they are. So, my deal with this business is this I'm happy to accept you for whoever you are, whatever you are. I don't care what your difference is: age, race, religion, whatever, whatever's missing, whatever's not, I will accept people for who they are if they accept me for who I am, because that's a fair trade. Yeah. And if you can't accept me for who I am, then I don't have to accept you for who you are. And you know, when I was younger and I had a less uh wise way of saying things, I used to say, hey, if you really want to focus on what's wrong with me, I'd be happy to point out what's wrong with you. Because we think so, um, I'm happy to do that if you need that to see that we all have stuff that's wrong with us, but we could focus on what's right about somebody and what it they are bringing to the table and the beauty of difference and the humanity, the humanity of our differences, because I don't know any two people who are exactly alike, thank God. And um everybody's challenges are different, but with those challenges come exceptional skills and wisdom. And that's what I've been trying to get this industry to understand for a very, very, very long time. I think we are seeing progress. I have horror stories from my past, of course, but I try to focus forward and keep creating and keep taking every little opportunity, even if it's a tiny squeak through door, to knock it out of the park and show them what we're capable of, because we just need a few people to really make it on a big way, the kind of people who will speak up in a positive, power empowering way and open the door for those that are coming behind us.

SPEAKER_00 20:33

Your advocacy work that you do in the industry for people with disabilities. What do you do now to help new people get in the industry? Like, even though I've been in this since 2023 and I'm still struggling.

SPEAKER_01 20:49

I understand that. I do. Um, what do I do now? Um, I spent most of my life doing all kinds of nonprofit free stuff, helping everybody in this community as they came along. I did everything I could. I gave them all my wisdom, I helped them build their toolboxes, I helped them build their agencies that included us, I helped them build their nonprofits that were supposed to be fighting for us. And what I found was that a lot of them exploited us, used us for their own gain, or quit the industry, didn't have the guts to stick it out. So I probably lost a lot of time and life force trying to help so many people. And I realized that the best thing I could do to help them now is to create content that will not only include us, but show the industry how easy it is to include us, the value of including us, build the projects, put the most trained, ready, and willing, and able and hardworking in those roles, pay them. Them well, send that stuff out into the universe and let this industry see the monetary value because that's gonna change the game. And when they see what we're capable of, when we get the same budgets and the same lighting and the same direction as all their stars, they're gonna find out there's some depth here that is worth a lot to humanity. And so that's what I'm doing now. I'm focusing on my projects, I'm focusing on when I get roles, making sure I do everything I can to fulfill it to the highest possible potential of my being. And I'm just doing all I can with every day and every moment. Um, I no longer do all the free speaking and all the free things because the reality is all the people I was helping are all making a fortune doing that. And not one of them has ever turned around and said, Can I open a door for you or hire you for something? So, you know, this is a team effort. And, you know, I now circulate around the people who are a team effort moving all of us forward together. And I am very, very uh aware and heightened when someone's just seeing me as a resource that they want to take from. I thankfully I have agents and managers who can, you know, filter things for me and make sure that everything that I'm doing is for the highest good that is going to get us to the next step because I can't keep stepping backwards or getting stepped on by the people I'm helping. I have to keep moving forward if I want to see the game change. And so, you know, right now I have a a truly exceptional um screenplay on my hands. I have an A-list producer on it. We're working on getting the A-list director. Uh, it's a game changer for our community, and that is where my 90% focus is on right now, other than the jobs that I'm doing to keep, you know, paying the bills and afloat. Um, I would love for the industry to open up and let me do real roles on television, series, regular roles. That's yet to happen after 30 something years of hard work. But I will just keep working with what I can. And I like to say working with the living. So that's the people who see the value and are like, come on, come with us, let's play. I have found that the most creative people are the most inclusive, most creative minds are the most accepting. And those are the ones I want to play with anyway.

SPEAKER_00 24:37

And uh what would you like to leave behind with your legacy? And what message would you have to inspire and disable actors who feel overlooked and underestimated in this industry?

SPEAKER_01 24:50

What my ultimate goal was and what helped to keep me in the game. The many times when I was just fed up with this business and the way the narrow scope with which people viewed us. The reason I kept going was because I never want to see another five-year-old fight for their life and win only to be made fun of and bullied and picked on and kept out of work and fun for the rest of their lives. I want that to change, and so my legacy will be before I leave this planet to change the perception of disability because people who live with these challenges are not less, they are not weak, they are not to be kept sidelined. These are our stronger people, they've been through more, they've overcome more, they adapt, they adjust, they overcome often with a smile. When they're not smiling, there's a damn good reason. And we have so much as a scientist society to learn from those who've been through more. And it is not, you are not better because you've been through less. You know, you're not better than somebody else because things have been easier for you. That's just not a fact. The stronger people are the ones who've been through the most. And I will create that perception shift if it takes my last dying breath to do it. But I'm working on it. That feature I wrote is all about that. It it shifts the perception without even people understanding that this has already happened and they've missed it. Um, and I just feel like it's going to be a benefit to everyone everywhere. So that'll be my legacy. And hopefully, one day this industry will respect this community enough to allow them to be equal players in the game. And I do hope this industry one day will recognize and respect what I bring to the game enough to allow me to make enough money to retire, to not have to worry about health insurance after decades of grind, you know. So I will continue to keep working hard and doing what I have to do and um stepping away from what isn't strengthening us and fighting for what is empowering us and just trying to get us included, equal, and normalized in the entertainment industry. I can't wait till we don't even have to use a label or a box. I'm so tired of labels in this business. I think it's dividing and separating and hurting everyone. And I think every individual should be evaluated, hired, and included based on their skill set and what they bring to the game. And then I think they should have an equal playing ground where they have an opportunity to highlight those skill sets and let their personalities shine. So that's a long answer to your question, but it's been a uh quite a battle, and there's a purpose driving it all. And I want every kid in the whole world to wake up going, hey, I beat cancer. I survived this, I survived that, I've been through this, I've been through that, and it's okay because I'm gonna use all that to follow my dreams and fulfill my purpose. And I would love society to say, How can we help?

SPEAKER_00 28:33

We want to come in on podcast with Duffy. Everyone's you it's been a pleasure, and we hopefully we get to work together. That would be a lovely video. Thank you. Thank you, Duffy. You're welcome. Thank you for listening to podcast with Duffy. If you enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to follow the chair and leave a review. Until next time, stay inspired, stay tuned, and stay tuned.