The Truth About Masculine vs Feminine Energy

If you’re a strong, successful woman who feels like men are threatened by your success… let’s break down the reality of alpha males vs real men AND masculine vs feminine energy.

This episode breaks down the truth about so-called “alpha males,” why insecure men sabotage powerful women, and what real masculinity actually looks like in a healthy relationship.

If you’ve ever felt like you had to shrink, dim your light, or carry the entire relationship just to keep the peace, you’ll find out why (and what to do about it).

Tune in to discover:

✅The real difference between “alpha males” and secure, masculine men
✅Why successful women trigger insecure men
✅How to balance masculine energy in business vs feminine energy in relationships
✅The truth about the male loneliness epidemic
✅Signs you’re in a toxic or emotionally abusive relationship
✅What a healthy, supportive partnership actually looks like
✅Why women are raising their standards… and NOT settling anymore

Key moments:

00:00:00 Intro
00:02:00 Masculine Energy in Business
00:04:00 Feminine Energy at Home
00:07:20 Truth About “Alphas”
00:12:00 How Insecure Men Gaslight and Belittle
00:15:20 What Toxic Relationships Do to Your Body
00:17:40 What Real Partnership Looks Like
00:22:00 Women No Longer Need Men
00:23:20 The Male Loneliness Epidemic Explained
00:28:20 Stop Shrinking for Small Men
00:34:20 Be Unapologetically Picky

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👉Find out more about how we can work together:

https://iconiccoaching.com.au/coaching/

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👉Here’s how to connect:

https://www.instagram.com/tellmeaboutit__podcast
https://iconiccoaching.com.au

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Once upon a time, I dated men who called themselves Alphas but couldn't handle watching me succeed. They wanted a strong woman, a career-driven woman, someone who matched them financially until they actually got one. They tried to destroy me because my success exposed everything that they were insecure about. And now I'm married to a man who picks up the dog shit without being arsed and lets me just be a girl at the end of the long day. I'm gonna share today what is the difference. I'm Kate Muir. This is Tell Me About a Podcast. And today I'm gonna talk about a topic that kind of gives me the ick, but I just feel like it's flooding social media at the moment and it's just a really hot topic with the political state of the world, which is masculine energy, feminine power, and generally why women are stopping shrinking for inferior small men. So I'm probably gonna get a little bit vulnerable and probably gonna offend some people and honestly I don't give a fuck because this episode's been sitting on my heart for quite a while now, and I've just been thinking a lot about it, especially um recently having a huge moment of gratitude being away with my husband and like all the cool things that we're doing, and like how healthy and amazing our life is, and how healthy and amazing our relationship is. And I think that it kind of highlights not necessarily what I used to go for or what used to be the norm in my life, but I guess what a lot of women and a lot of people are literally suffering through. So, look, this episode discusses a little bit of emotionally abusive relationship dynamics, and if any of this resonates with you or you're currently in a situation that feels unsafe, I just want to recommend that you please reach out to someone you can trust or a professional who can help you to get out of that situation. This is my story and my perspective, and I'm sharing this because I know there are women out there who need to hear this, and I also just think if this is gonna trigger you, maybe just give this one a little bit of a miss. So I want to start with, I guess, what triggered me to have this whole conversation, and that is I've been having this conversation with friends, with clients, even just in my own head, about masculine and feminine energy in business versus relationships. And something just really clicked for me recently that I want to share. In business, you have to be in your masculine energy. There is no ifs, buts, or ways around it. You can't be running a business, leading people, making hard decisions, giving advice, all from your soft, flowy feminine energy. It just doesn't work like that. I work in coaching. I'm not even in an environment like sales or something that you would consider, I guess, a traditionally masculine role. But to be in business and to do what I do and to be straight shooting and to tell people things that they need to hear, not what they want to hear, total masculine energy. Also, I run my business with compassion and heart and all of those things, but in terms of the actual delivery and for the most part of it, full-blown thinking, full-blown doing the whole day that I'm at work, including even when I record these podcasts, I have to be in that net state as well. So when you're running a business, when you're leading clients through transformation, when you're having those really tough love conversations, which I do all day, every fucking day, when you're giving direction and when you're holding people accountable, that is full masculine energy. You have to be direct, you have to be firm, you have to be the leader, you have to assert yourself, etc. Think about it. Like if you're handling objections, being a little pushy when you need to be, building something from the ground up, hiring and firing people is a huge part of being in business that we don't talk about, even just disciplinary action, having those horrible conversations, all of that requires you to be in your masculine. And there is no way around that. If you want to build something successful and if you want to lead and if you want to create real change in people's lives, you cannot be wishy-washy and soft about it. You have to show up with conviction and strength and boundaries and direction and be very like fire horse forward. So this is, I guess, where it gets a little bit interesting. And this is the part that I think a lot of people misunderstand. Just because you operate in your masculine energy in business doesn't mean that's who you are in every area of your life. It doesn't mean you don't crave softness and safety and being led in personal relationships. It doesn't mean you're not deeply feminine at your core. I also think every successful person, like every adult human, needs to have both feminine and masculine within them to be successful and to be able to have nuance and to be able to have any sort of healthy relationship. And I'll be the first to say it too. In my relationship, I'm not masculine at all. I want a partner who can lead me, who is doing things in his own right, who makes me feel like I can just turn my brain off. And I don't mean lead me, like give me direction or handle my finances and shit like that. I do that shit myself. That's fine. I can do everything he can do, I can do for myself. But my brain works overtime. My brain is non-fucking stop all day, every day. I am thinking, I'm strategizing, I'm problem solving, I'm leading, I'm directing, I'm creating, I'm constantly coming up with ideas. I'm just fucking, you can imagine the sound that goes on inside my brain, and that is forever. So when I come home, I'm with Cam. I don't want to have to keep doing that. I want to be able to exhale, I want to feel held, and I want to feel safe enough to just be soft. And there is nothing anti-feminist about that, and there is nothing weak about that, and there is nothing weird about that. In fact, I think it takes an incredibly strong woman to know what she needs and to refuse to settle for anything less. And I feel the exact same about men. Now, yesterday I was day two of my period. Don't care if that's too much information, feeling like shit, brainworking overtime at all the things I've got to do this week because I'm about to head overseas for work, just was in a panic, the air conditioner wouldn't work, all this shit was going on, and I started to get really worked up. I was trying to cook breakfast for Cam, which is something I do on the weekends. He does most of the cooking in our household, and I was just in a fucking spin. And when I compare this to how I was raised, which is if you had any other emotion other than blissfully, perfectly happy, you would get yelled at or said, What's wrong with you? Why are you angry? Why are you why you and just make you feel like shit? Versus now Cam saw that I was overwhelmed and he walked up to me in the kitchen and he literally gave me like the biggest bear hug and was like, What do you need? Tell me what you need. What do you need? You seem like you're overwhelmed. It almost makes me a little bit teary because I just think that's what people need in their relationships. That's what people need in their lives. They don't need anger, they don't need yelling, they don't need anything like that. They just sometimes need a hug and um, you know, um something to make them laugh and something to soften them and something to make them feel good. And for him, while yes, that was him inherently being like the hottest man alive to me, um, that was also him stepping into his feminine where he was caring and compassionate and cuddly and showing me that there is safety with him and I can talk about what I'm feeling overwhelmed about. So that is something that I wanted to share as an example of like really positive masculinity and femininity. And I just got to stop for a second, have a breather, tell him what was going on, and then all of a sudden they felt a million times better, and then I just carried on with what I had to do. So I want to talk about men who call themselves alphas, because first and foremost, if you're gonna tell someone you're fucking alpha, you ain't. If you've got to stand there and be like, oh, I'm a big man, I'm masculine, I'm alpha, I'm the head of the household, shut the fuck up. Shut you fucking trap, you stupid little boy. This is gonna ruffle some feathers, and I don't care. In every past relationship I had ever been in with a man, I dated men who believed they were alpha, men who believed they were masculine, the big dog, the leader. They talked a big game, they had the ego, they had the bravado, but when it came down to it, they were completely emasculated by me. They were literally threatened by my existence, by my success, by my energy and my power. I'm a very powerful woman and I know that. I know my strength. And can I just say something? Again. If he has to tell you he's masculine, he isn't. If he has to tell you he's a big alpha dog, he isn't. If he has to announce that, like, I just want the relationship where I lead, fuck off. Don't say that shit. Just do it. If you want to lead, then lead. And I'm gonna talk about that later because there's more in that. Truly masculine men do not need to advertise that they're masculine. You just feel it. It's in the way they show up, it's in the way they carry themselves, it's in the way they handle pressure, it's in the way that they treat you. It is not, and it's actually in the way that they treat everybody. It's not even just about the people that they're in a relationship with, it's how they treat women that they're not in a relationship, whether that's family, sister, mother, whatever. It's how they treat other men. It's how they stand up to other people, it's how that they communicate, it is the way they carry themselves all the fucking time. It is not a label they slap on their fucking Instabio. It is not something they have to convince you of. You just know. And if you don't know, if he has to keep telling you, that tells everything. And I hate this because I genuinely deeply hate that I wasted so many years of my life on men like this. I never once felt safe with any of my exes except for one. I never felt protected. I never feel like I could be myself because my energy, my my success, my chaos, my how I think, how I work. It was polarizing to them. And it was exposing something in them that they didn't want to always see and that they didn't want to admit for themselves. And these are like the other thing that really gets me. These men that I have dated previously to my marriage, bar one, every single one of them said they want a strong woman. They said they want a career woman. They said they want someone ambitious, they said they want someone driven, they said they want someone who financially brings something to the table. They loved the idea about it. They probably loved telling their mates about it. Yeah, my girlfriend runs her own salon, she's a boss, whatever. They wore it like a badge of honor until it was real, until I was winning, until my business was thriving and my income was higher than theirs, until I won awards, until I was just happy and thriving and working with lots of people and being successful in my own right. When I was becoming known, when I was just literally just existing and doing the thing that I loved, and then suddenly they fucking hated it. They hate it. They absolutely hated it because all of a sudden, instead of coming up and rising up and standing beside me, they would shrink themselves down because they felt inferior and they would be beneath me. It happens all the time. They actually didn't want a strong, career-driven woman. They wanted the aesthetic of one, they wanted someone who was just ambitious enough to be impressive at a dinner party but not so ambitious that she'd ever outshine them. They wanted a woman who played at success but still made them feel like the big man. And the second I didn't fit into that box anymore, the second my success became undeniable, they just couldn't cope. This was especially true in my previous marriage. When I met him, I was earning a lot less than him, I was still in a bit of debt, and I worked really fucking hard to turn that around. It was also true of the person that I dated. About a year before I met Cam, my husband, that person was also working in a coaching capacity. And so you think that you would think that there would be some sort of like mutual understanding of that dynamic and the type of work that I had to do and having to like flip off to do an incel and education or something like that. You'd think there would be respect for what I was building, but no, I was more established than him in my career. I was far superior to him financially, I was more established in my business life, and my business was trumping his subcontracting work in every single way. And so he would be very subtly belittle me and gaslight me and be really mean to me. And, you know, on the surface, he was this big dude who, you know, was super toxic positively, you know, that really icky over-the-top positivity. And he did that as a facade so that he could bully me in the background. And this is so common in so many relationships of women that I work with and people that I coach and people that I mentor. And yeah, so again, it was just my power and my happiness and my success and my bubbliness held a mirror up to all the things he hated within himself, and it exposed everything that he was insecure about. And rather than looking in the mirror and doing the work and understanding why I triggered him, rather than stepping up and meeting me at the top and being a better man, he just got angry, emotional, and mean. And this happened over and over and over again, and it happens all the fucking time. Everything is blamed on women. I'll do a little sidetrack here because you all know I love that. I'm a very proud progressive feminist. I am feminist because feminism is what has allowed me to have a job. It's what's allowing me to wear a backless top right now. If you're watching me on YouTube, it is what has allowed me to have a bank account without a man's name on it. It's what's allowed me to do everything in my life, to have my independence, to have this platform, to be able to work, let alone have a business. Anyone who says they aren't feminist and they drive their own car or do anything like that, yes, yeah, hon, it's feminism that got you there. Feminism is not women wanting more than men or wanting to put men down. Men are trying to label, or insecure men are trying to label feminism as misandry because they are threatened by women having equal rights as them. Because women, for the whole history of time, have had their rights stripped, they have had things taken away from them, they've been made to be inferior, they've had, they like me, we weren't even allowed to vote at one stage. Like, are you fucking kidding me? We weren't allowed to have our own bank account. Fuck. And now we're all excited because for the first time in actual history, women are dating because they want to, not because they have to. Women are doing whatever they want that makes them happy, that is the same opportunity that men have had for their entire fucking lives and all the generations before them. And that polarizes men. Feminism is just wanting to stand up equally and stand beside men. It is not about belittling men at all. It actually has nothing to do with men and everything to do with women. We just want equal rights, equal opportunities, and equal pay. That's it. So, anyways, just to go on a little tangent there, that's what I think. Feminism is literally asking men to take the boot off our fucking necks that they've had there for years and years and years. Louder. And look, just circling back to that too, to insecure men, if you aren't willing to man up and meet your partner at the top and be their equal and support them, and you're fighting with them, and your leadership is threatened, and you're belittling them, and you feel really small, you are deeply insecure and you need therapy. And you shouldn't be with a woman who's winning. You should go and be with someone else. Go be with another man, go be with a woman, go be with somebody else that's small and inferior and you know, whatever. But do not be that unattractive, pathetic, gross little threatened man. Disgusting. I want to also talk about what it actually feels like to be in those dynamics and those relationships because I think a lot of women, well, I know a lot of women are living this right now and they don't even probably fully realize the toll that it's taken on them. My hair was falling out, I gained weight, my skin went grey, I was too scared to share anything exciting that was happening in my life or happening at work or happening in any aspect of my life, because I would forever be gaslit and bullied and you know, made to try and calm down to the level that my ex-partners had been at. If you're with a partner who is constantly threatened by you and who's always competing with you and who responds to your success with resentment or sarcasm or and not friendly sarcasm, like rude sarcasm, like being condescending, you'll start to shrink, your light will dim, and you'll start to apologize for things that should be celebrated. I was living with the highest amount of cortisol and stress constantly. My nervous system was completely dysregulated. I was always on edge, I was always waiting for the next fight. Um, you know, just anticipation of like when it was gonna kick off, always trying to manage his emotions on top of running my business, trying to function as a human being, carry my clients because that's my job, everything. And their goal, a lot of people think that's unconscious, but I actually think a lot of them know exactly what they're doing, was to dehumanize me, to destroy me, to make me fall apart. Because if I fell apart, if I became a mess, if I stopped succeeding, first of all, they wouldn't have to face their own inadequacy. Second of all, I would lean into them for support and love, and that made them feel like they were needed. And to be fair, like they did that. They they succeeded. These men broke me down. The relationships are hideous. They took things from me that I'm somewhat still healing from, but not really. So if you're listening to this and you are in a relationship where you feel like you're constantly walking on eggshells, where your wins are met with coldness or criticism, when you feel like you have to make yourself smaller to keep the peace. Please hear me when I say this is not normal. This is not love, this is not partnership, and you deserve so much more. These relationships are also quite common with parents, with grandparents, with friends. This isn't always a mask femme thing, but I feel it most commonly in romantic relationships. So let me um also share what it looks like to be with someone like Cam, and he's gonna hate me talking about him like this, and I don't fucking care. If you know my husband, you know that he's a pretty like chill person, doesn't like being like highlighted or shared or anything like that. But the contrast is everything. And I'll also start this by highlighting that yes, I earn more money than him I have since performing better, and I still do now. He earns an amazing salary, and that is just the reality of our situation right now. We are a team, we are an actual, real functioning team. He is the strongest, most masculine, most incredible, hot, amazing, smart, powerful human I've ever encountered in my life, and he makes me a better woman. He makes me a better person. He encourages me to be and do every single thing that I want to do. He is the first person who has ever treated me like a teammate, like an equal instead of lesser, like a partner instead of a threat to his masculinity. And he is the first person who has ever been a real man in my relationship. And I need to say this clearly because I think a lot of people really do confuse masculinity with dominance or control or making more money or, you know, all these other things. And that is not what masculinity is. A real man wants to see you win. A real man wants to see you happy, a real man wants to take care of you in other ways so that you can be yourself, so that you can relax, so that you can be playful, so that you can step into your feminine energy without fear. They want to see you do the things that make you most happy in the world. He knows that I love working. He knows that I love going out and being social with my friends. He knows that I love a hot girl walk. He knows that I love doing creative things like art and painting and playing music and all of those things. And I love that he loves his job and he loves working and he's thriving at work. I love that he's consistent and stable and everything that allows me to be who I need to be. I love that he cooks because I'm a fucking horrible cook. I love that he books dates and he does like gives holiday ideas and he plans things for us. I love that I can just show up and be present instead of having to organize and manage and direct every single aspect of my life because that's what I do at work all fucking day, every day. You know, I think this is kind of a funny thing too, is someone once said to me, a family member of mine condescendingly said to me when we first met, oh, he's pretty passive though. That must be good for you. As in, I'm a dominant personality. And I thought you should see that man run a gym, lead a classroom because he's been a teacher for the last few years. He is not passive. He is very assertive and he is very strong. And just because he doesn't fight with me all the time or put me down or try to slow me down or try to make me less shiny or less chatty or smaller does not mean he's passive. It means he loves me for who I am, and it means he knows who I am, and it means he is not threatened because he is as strong as fuck masculine man. And this is what partnership looks like. This is what it looks like when someone is actually secure in themselves and who doesn't need to tear you down to feel good about who they are, or who doesn't need to like fight your energy. They can just be their own energy and you can be your own energy, and you can both just be your own individual people, but have this beautiful, like interdependent relationship. Isn't that the dream? It was very polarizing for me when I first got with him because I was like, oh wow, I was raised in a family that fought non-stop. And then I've been in previous romantic relationships that fought non-stop because you know you always carry through from your childhood into your adulthood what your life is like. And then now I'm with someone who just like wants to just let me exist. How nice. It's quite polarizing, but also it's um the best thing ever. So I hope that everybody finds that. I hope that everybody finds their person, no matter what they look like or who they are. Are I just hope you find the person that brings out the best in you and makes you the best version of yourself, like we do for each other. Now, I want to just circle back to a comment I made earlier and um, I guess step back, take a little bit of a zoom out because I think there's some really important context for everything I've been saying. It's 2026, and for the first time in the history of mankind, like genuinely the first time ever, women do not need men for fucking anything. We don't need them financially, we don't need them for security, we don't need them for status, we don't need them to buy a house, to build a house, to start a business, to raise kids, to have a full and incredible life. We can literally do all of that on our own. We can literally do all of that with our girl squad and with our friends. Women are earning their own money, they are building their own empires, they are buying their own homes, creating their own safety, and we are fully self-sufficient in a way that no generation of women before us has ever seen. Ever. And that means for the first time ever, we are dating by choice. Pure choice. We're not settling because we need a provider, we're not staying because we can't afford to leave, we're not tolerating rubbish behavior because we're financially dependent on someone. We're choosing to be with men because they genuinely bring something and add something to our lives. Or we're choosing not to be with them at all. And honestly, a lot of women are choosing not to, and can you fucking blame them? Seriously? Everyone keeps talking about the male loneliness epidemic, like this tragic societal crisis that we should all be deeply concerned about. And look, I'm not heartless, like loneliness is pretty rough for everyone. But can we just be honest about what's actually happening here? The male loneliness epidemic is just a fancy way of saying that a huge number of men are bringing absolutely nothing to the table and women have finally stopped pretending that that's okay. That's it, that's the whole thing. And men are literally undateable in record numbers. They're not growing, they're not evolving, they're not doing the emotional work, they're not bringing partnership to the table, they're not even bringing basic respect to the table. And now the women have to put up with it. No, we're choosing not to. And suddenly it's a fucking crisis. For who? It's not a crisis for the women. It's women are out here thriving on their own. And that's the funny thing about it, too. You look at anytime this time it comes up on social media, and honest to fucking God, men are again blaming women for the male loneliness epidemic. Like, are you on drugs? Are you fucking kidding me? It's so ridiculous. You're undateable, sir. I don't know what else to tell you. I'm sorry. If the bar on the floor, if the if the bar is on the floor and men are still dripping over it, that is not a girl's problem. That is a them problem. Go to therapy, read a book, learn how to cook a meal, learn how to regulate your emotions, learn how to be a genuine partner to someone, and then maybe, just maybe, you'll get chosen. Because that's what it is now. It is a choice, and you have to be worth choosing. Honestly. I saw a men's mental health post yesterday. Obviously, we all know and understand and feel so much empathy for men's mental health and how much suicide affects men under 45. And it's horrific. And all these women flocked to the comments, like, absolutely flocked to the comments, and were like, oh my god, that's so devastating, that's so sad, blah blah blah. Not a single comment was like, oh, suicide affects women too. And then not even like two minutes later, there was a post there about how domestic violence affects um one in three women now, which is a horrific statistic. And there is no denying that we have a serious, serious violence against women's issue. And if you don't see that, take your fucking blinkers off because it is real. There are so many women dying every single year, even in Australia. And I looked at the comments, and lo and behold, there was a stack of comments there about you know, women are violent to men too, and domestic violence affects men too. And like, do you not understand the stark contrast in this? Suicide also affects women, but it's an epidemic for men, and we know that. Astronomical amounts of men are taking their own lives, and that is fucking heartbreaking and devastating and all the things. And women are there going, it's fucking horrible, it's fucked, so sad, so everything. One in three women, that means if you're in the room with three women and you look to your left and you look to your right, one of you has been affected seriously by domestic violence. Every single woman I have ever spoken to in my entire life has had a sexual assault or an incident or something at the man hands of a man. Every single one, every single time I talk to my female friends about walking alone at night or the fact that I can't go for a jog in the darkness in the morning because the sun comes up, you know, different times here. Every single time I speak to a woman about that, it's like, oh yeah, I've learned to carry my keys between my fingers, or no, I make security walk into my car, or like there is always something, some new strategy, some new way that we're protecting ourselves. That is not a woman's problem. That is a men's problem. Why are men jumping in the comments instead of being like the women about the suicide? Why aren't they jumping in the comments and being like, it's absolutely fucked? I need to stand up to my friends, I need to stand up to the men who are doing this. Instead, they try to turn it around to be women being awful and it being a men's problem. Women are the victims in that. 98% of violence in domestic situations is men to women. 98%. And you're not telling me that's an epidemic, too? Shut your fucking mouth. Shut up. And do you know the worst thing is true? Only bigots and men who do not absolutely rage about this are the ones who are like, oh yeah, that's about my sister, oh yeah, that could be my mother. Like they don't see other women as human. What? People are people, humans are humans. Anyways, go on a tangent about that all day. But honestly, if men are still sitting here wondering why there is a male loneliness epidemic, that is it. Because we cannot exist or speak about an issue that is plaguing women without men attacking us and trying to turn it into a problem that is our problem and our burden and our fault and blaming us for it. It's fucked. So here's my message before I wrap this up after my raging rampage. I really need you to hear this. Again, if your partner is competing with you, belittling you, condescending and backhanded and mean to you, they are not your partner. They are your bully. They are your biggest hater, and you need to get out of that relationship now. And this doesn't even have to be a romantic relationship. This can be any relationship. Your partner should validate you in more ways than just words. It's not about always talking, it's about in their actions. They should make you feel supported, safe, secure. They should be your biggest cheerleader, not your harshest critic. They should want you to succeed, not secretly resent you when you do. And I know how hard it is to live. I know how complicated it gets when you build a life with someone, when there's history, when there are a million reasons to stay and try to make it work. But some things cannot be fixed. Some people do not want to change, and you cannot love someone into being a better man if he refuses to do the work himself. He has to want to do it. My ex-husband was this person. 18 months. I tried to go to marriage counselling. I still went, I learned about them myself. I still learned about how I communicate, my needs, voicing myself and everything. He barely showed up. When he did, he was just angry the whole time. The counselor would tell him all the things he was doing wrong. He wouldn't listen. Gave it 18 months of everything I had, 15 kilos, and all my hair falling out, and it just, I just couldn't do it anymore. So my message to you is that is not a relationship, and you need to be picky as fuck. Be the pickiest person on the planet. I was single and dating for five years before I met Cam. Five years. And I was so happy being single. And people used to say to me all the time, you're way too picky. You'll never find anyone like what you want. Your standards are too high. I mean, I used to usually reply and be like, oh my god, I'm so sorry that you settled. That's so sad. Because I got so jack of people being condescending and saying that to me and patronizing me because I'm a woman and apparently being picky is not enough. And thank God I stuck to my guns because I found him. I married him. I built a life with the greatest man alive. And I would have waited another five years, another 10 years, another 15 years. I would have waited forever if that's what it took to find this person. Your standards are not too high. The right person will meet them and they will exceed them and they'll make you wonder why you ever tolerated anything less. And I'll also finish on this one, and this is probably more of a message to the boys that are listening, because I do know that I have men that listen into this pod too. I think it kind of ties everything together, and it's the simplest point of the entire episode. Cam is a manly man, like a proper manly man. He saves me from spiders, he does the lawns, he puts the bins out, picks up the dog shit, takes care of the pool, cleans the cars, and he does all the things that people would call traditional male jobs. Cam and I never sat there and like discussed, you do this, you do this, you do this. It just kind of naturally went that way. And I feel like that's the probably, unless you do need to allocate tasks specifically, it's a great way of kind of being like, hey, I don't mind doing these few things, I'm just gonna do them. And you know what? I'm not gonna sit here and pretend that I don't love that he does all those things. I'm not gonna be politically correct about it. That is so fucking hot to me. That stuff makes me want to have sex with him all the time because he does not ask, he does not tell, he just does. He doesn't pile those tasks on me. He doesn't ask me what needs to be doing, he just fucking does it. Because this is what it comes down to, really. After a massive day of being on, having my brain on, after a full day of leading and coaching and strategizing and leading my team and being in my masculine energy from the moment I wake up to the moment I clock off from work, I get to come home and I get to not think. And I get to walk through, walk out of my office store. I talk about this like I don't work at home, I do work at home, but you know what I mean. I have an office. So when I walk out of my office and into my home, my brain gets to switch off because I know he's already taken care of it. The lawns are done, the bins are out, the dogs are walked. I didn't have to ask, I didn't have to remind, I didn't have to manage, I didn't have to parent him. He just did it because that's who he is. And he knows that that's his half of the relationship. Because of that, I get to enjoy being a woman. I get to enjoy being feminine, I get to be soft, I get to be cuddly with him on the couch, I get to not carry the weight of every single thing in our household on my shoulders like so many women are doing right now. I don't have to do fucking everything. I don't have to run a business all day and then come home and run an entire household on my own while my grown man sits there contributing fucking nothing. I have a partner, I have an actual equal. I have someone who loves and respects me enough to show up and carry his share without being begged or nagged or given a fucking instruction manual. And that is like that is the thing that I really need men to hear right now because women are genuinely not that complicated. We're really not. If you want a feminine woman, if you want a woman who is soft and affectionate and playful and present with you and wants to have sex with you all the time, be the man that she fucking needs. Take a friggin' load off. Be the man that allows her to be those things because she cannot be soft if she is doing everything. She cannot be feminine if she is carrying the entire mental load of your shared life by herself. She cannot be your soft place to land if you're giving her absolutely nothing grounded to stand on and no strong foundations. Stop expecting her to do it all for herself and for you too. Stop expecting her to run her career and run the house and run your emotional life and manage everything and then wonder why she's too tired or too stressed or too resentful to be sweet and adoring and the partner that you think you deserve because you haven't earned that. You haven't created the environment for that. Manly men, truly masculine men, don't belittle their women. They don't make their woman their slave. They don't sit back and watch her, you know, drown under the weight of everything while they do nothing. They take a load off, they step up. They don't want someone submissive or lower than or beneath them. They handle their business, they let their woman be a girl. It is that simple. It has always been that simple. Pick up the dog shit, mow the lawns, put the bins out, kill the spider, clean the car, book the dinner, plan the day, do it without being asked. Watch how she softens. Watch how she melts. Just watch what happens. Watch how she looks at you like you're the greatest man alive and like she wants to suck your dick because that's all it takes. That is genuinely, truly all it takes. And if you can't do that, if it feels like too much to ask, then you are the reason for the loneliness male epidemic full fucking stop. Enjoy a life of being single forever and never having someone to share that with. Okay, that was a lot. I told you I was gonna get full on today, and I hope this landed the way that I intended it to. You can be a powerful, successful driven woman who operates in her masculine energy and business and still craves softer, safety, and leadership in your personal life. Those are not mutually exclusive. You can contain multitudes and layers and facets. You are allowed to want and need both. The men who are threatened by your success are not the men for you. They are not the alphas. They are insecure little children in adult bodies who would rather tear you down than face their own inadequacy. And do not waste away your precious life trying to make yourself smaller than them. For them. Real men exist. Men who will celebrate you, support you, lead you in the ways that matter, and never make you feel like your success is a problem. Men who will pick up the dog shit and mow the lawns and kill the spiders and let you be a girl at the end of a long day. Wait for that man, hold out for that man, be ridiculously unapologetically picky until you fucking find that man. And remember, it's 2026. You don't need a man. He never will again. So if you're going to be with one, make sure he's worth choosing. Make sure he earns it. Make sure he makes your life better just by being in it and just by being around you. And if you currently are dating someone who feels like your or makes you feel like your power is a threat, please take this as the red flag it is. People don't tell you who they are, they show you. You have to have a teammate, not a competitor. You deserve the love that feels like safety and not survival. And you deserve to come home and just fucking breathe. So thank you for listening to my very ranty ragey episode of Tell Me About a podcast. If this resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear it, and I will uh see you all next week.