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GraceFilled Community
The GraceFilled Community Podcast is a place where faith, connection, and community come together. We explore meaningful conversations with guests who share their unique insights, experiences, and stories to inspire and empower others. Each episode offers listeners practical wisdom for living out their faith, creating belonging, and building community. Whether you're looking for spiritual growth or ways to connect deeper with those around you, the GraceFilled Community Podcast provides valuable content that enriches both your personal and spiritual journey.
GraceFilled Community
Transforming Families through Kingdom-Centered Parenting
Su Park shares her journey from a childhood in an anti-Christian home to becoming a transformational family ministry leader focused on heart-based parenting that develops disciples, not just well-behaved children.
• Growing up forbidden from attending church in an anti-Christian family
• Called to ministry instead of law school just before college graduation
• Focus on heart-based parenting rather than merely behavior modification
• Father and mother wounds create blind spots that affect relationships and parenting
• Difference between discipline (training) and punishment (hurting)
• Creating "heart to heart" safe spaces where children can express feelings
• Parents should show empathy rather than saying "I told you so"
• Words have power to wound or nurture our children's souls
• Finding identity in God's kingdom rather than cultural expectations
• Importance of community in raising children and healing from wounds
Connect with Su Park:
for parenting resources, speaking engagements, and coaching services.
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susuhpark/
Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/su.suhpark/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/su-park-6881ba159/
Website: https://suparkcoaching.com/
If you're seeking community, email grow@gracefieldcommunity.com and we would be happy to connect you with trusted community partners near you.
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Visit our website at www.gracefilledcommunity.com
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My name is Nicole Cater, your host, founder and servant leader of Graceville Community. I want to thank you for tuning in to Graceville Community Podcast. This is a safe space, a place in which we just share stories of how God has touched individuals' lives all across the world and how they are now impacting the kingdom of God. Thank you for tuning in. Blessings to you, Hello Graceville community. We are so excited once again to come together as community for our podcast episode today. I am y'all. I say I'm excited about every podcast because, let me tell you, these are divine appointments. Like when I get on this podcast, I'm like Lord, you're so good to set this up and this is just the same. I'm uber, uber excited to have my dear friend, who I have served with, who I have had hours together with, even exhausted, doing kingdom work, and so I'm so excited to have Sue Park on today. Hey, Sue.
Speaker 2:Hello, thank you for having me.
Speaker 1:Yes, absolutely, it is my pleasure. I'm overly excited. I can't even. I just keep saying that because I really am. I think we're going to have amazing conversation today.
Speaker 2:Yes, that will show up for us.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm sure, I'm sure we always do so as we get into it. First thing I do want to ask, because I know you and I've learned some things about you, and consistently I'm learning things about you, as we should about each other when we have community. But please tell our audience just a little bit about yourself and what you're passionate about.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay. Well, I grew up in a very anti-Christian family, youngest out of seven kids, so my uncle's family became Christians, but they did everything, anything that is not like Christ. So my parents were really, really hurt. So we were actually forbidden to go to church. So I thought I was going to die if I ever put my foot in the door of a church. So I was never able to go to church and but throughout my adolescent years I've always had question like why am I here on this earth? What am I? Why do I have to study hard? Why do I have to go to good college? Why do I have to have a good job? And because, you know, after all, end of my life I'm not gonna be able to take anything with me.
Speaker 2:But I grew up in a family where my mom she thought she was Buddhist. I would wake up every morning listening to this cassette player of a Buddhist monk chanting, and I would see her at 6 am in the morning. She'd be like praying with a bowl of rice, bowl of water and incense playing, and she was so faithful. But every time I had questions I naturally just asked God about it. And then, right before I turned 20, I radically got saved and my life has never been the same. I can't believe it's been 37 years actually. I just gave my age away. But my life has never been the same. But my background is I've been married, for next month will be 32 years, um, god, thank you. And we have four beautiful daughters who love god, who follows god's call 29, 24, 25 and 20 years old. But uh, right before, about three months before I got I graduated from college, I got called into full-time ministry. So instead of going to law school, I ended up going to seminary school in Southern California. But I was like who me? How can you use somebody like me, you know? And I had to obey by faith, because I knew I couldn't do anything on my own. And since then I've been really following God's call. I've served God.
Speaker 2:I've mainly worked with children of all ages, teenagers, college students. I've worked at private colleges before. I've been a motivation speaker for a lot of high school teenagers and then, after I had my kids, I opened up a preschool and I called it Love, joy, peace Preschool, and I shared the gospel, was able to share the gospel and love of Jesus Christ, not only with the children that I watched, but also to the family, and then after a certain time God put placed me as a children's pastor and so I've been working, and as a children's pastor, also family ministry pastor, just all together, just children of our ages and family, and I've done parenting seminars, biblical parenting seminars, for over last 20 years, partnering with National Center for Biblical Parenting. So, like you know, I think it's all about I love children. I don't know about children and family and just really come alongside. Because, as a serving as a pastor, I have also seen so many pastors and leaders in the church and as I was working with them, the children or the teenagers would come pastor too. My dad is nothing like where everybody else thinks at church, because he's nothing like that at home, and so as I was working with younger generation, I saw a lot of brokenness in the family, especially even in the Christian family. A lot of them pastors, kids, deacons and leaders, kids, and even though they were parents who were working really hard, faithfully serving the Lord, our children, their children, were feeling hurt and you know God looks at our heart right. So I'm really all about imitating God, dealing with our children. But most parents, you know they love their children, but yet they may not be as well equipped to just really discipline and train their children according to God's ways.
Speaker 2:A lot of times where there's a lot of seminars or conferences, a lot of parents share a lot and, like speakers share a lot all from the Bible but a lot of parents do go back home and say, okay, so how do I apply that at home?
Speaker 2:And when the you know, speaking for years, when the opportunity came for me to personally coach and counsel parents come alongside because you know I have spoken at many different churches and organizations but I go there as a guest speaker and then when you leave, that's it and I don't know how they're doing it. But this coaching actually gave me an opportunity to come alongside, work with them and just really helping them come along and imitating God. And how does it actually look in real life? What do I do when my kids don't listen and when you have to say the same thing over and over and over again? So very heart-based approach. But because I have also seen so many just teenagers or young adults I have also worked with, still work with a lot of grown-up women of God and even some men who are just walking around with unhealed wounds that robs them from living out that abundant life that Jesus came to give us. So I'm very passionate about marriage, relationship, people's relationship with God, because it's got to start there.
Speaker 2:But our relationship between parents and children, but also just a lot of inner healing, restoration, freedom work. That's what I do underneath. So that's the things I'm very passionate about and health, but you know I could go all day for that, so right.
Speaker 1:I love it. I absolutely love it, especially because so many of those things are near and dear to me, especially when we talk about the family, right, and taking um the word of God and applying it to the family, like that is our first ministry, right, and so I love that. I did not know you even did a preschool. There's so much. I mean, that's what I love about podcasts, because I get to learn even more about those that I even do life with, so super cool. Now I know that I want to dive into something on the parenting aspect because, y'all, before we even started this podcast we even started this podcast we already started having good conversation. I'm like, wait, this is stuff we should be talking about on the podcast, yes, and so we were just speaking of father wounds and mother wounds and how they can impact relationships, so I want to just kind of talk about that because I think we're going down the area that. I'm like, yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I mean, you know, did you want me to share? Yeah, go for it. I'm like, yeah, you know it just really. It's just really heartbreaking because I work with a lot of women, especially women who's grown up in the church and they know God here and they have faith and they're just beautiful, amazing people. Yet, because of their unhealed wound and a lot of them don't even recognize they have unhealed wounds, because when you have unhealed wounds, it creates blind spots, right, and they felt they are seeing themselves, they're seeing others and different aspects of life all through this skewed view from unhealed wounds, yes, which really robs them away from living out that full and abundant life.
Speaker 2:And I believe that jesus did not come just to save us from going to hell so we could go to heaven, but he said clearly he came to give us full and abundant life and we don't have to wait till we get to heaven because we are living on heaven and earth and because Christ lives in us and we have access to all the resources from heaven above to us. But people just don't know. How do they know? If we don't share, we don't share, knowing if we don't share and we don't share and we can't and I think it's really, really important that.
Speaker 2:I mean, like before I came to Texas, I thought I had full and abundant life and I thought I was all healed, but at the same time there was a whole another level of healing and freedom that God has given me. But it's also a journey because even though you get healed from the past experience, whatever things happen in our know, the enemy come to start whenever we're hurt and when we are at a vulnerable stage, you know the enemy start feeding us a lot of life. When we talk about father wounds and mother wounds a lot of times, you know parents love their children, but I feel like sometimes I have to yell out to the whole world. I'm like mothers and fathers Remember your children have feelings too.
Speaker 1:Yes, absolutely yes.
Speaker 2:And, and you know, they may just say something out of reacting. This is what I call reactive parenting. They don't like something that their kids did or whatever, and they just react and just blur out whatever, yes, and they leave. They think they're done, disciplining or whatnot. And discipline, actually, it actually means training, not punishing, and so many people just go straight into punishing. Oh my gosh, nico, can you imagine, every time we do something wrong, if jesus gives us right, right, he sees our heart. So I'm on a mission to help parents come along and really, um, really connect with their children heart to heart and in Christ, showing a lot of grace. God is God of love. God is God of grace. Yes, god is just, and we want to teach and train, but in love, right, just reacting yeah, yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1:So there's something that really out. It's something that we follow in our home, right, and I think a lot of people over time I learned do not understand the difference between discipline and punishment, right, and one of the things that we try and follow a principle of is that you know when a child does something. So I'm going to use the example. Maybe I don't know, I think chores is the hugest thing that happens for every home, right? Like the chores, the chores, the chores, and so like, if the child doesn't do chores, the discipline would be relative to the chores.
Speaker 1:Disciplining is not saying, okay, well, you didn't do chores, so now you don't get to go to youth group, right, and what has happened, I think, over time is that we confuse what punishment is versus discipline. Discipline is relative to that area that they broken the guideline, right, because essentially, what we're teaching them and training them is healthy habits and healthy boundaries, and when that's been broken, we need to provide discipline relative to that area. When we don't do that and we're just spewing out reactive, like you stated, or we're just giving something that, like I know, this is going to hurt you, so I'm going to take this like that's us wanting to punish them, and there's a huge difference. That's not the example that like our heavenly father gives us right. Like he disciplined. The scripture says like God disciplines those that he loves yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 2:So like, even just simple thing, as, like, I talk about the difference between with the younger kids, I talk about the difference between timeouts and taking a break. You know, timeout is very based on, it focuses on, um, just the behavior, and it's like the parents are like the bad guy. I'm like the policeman, you didn't do this and you gotta do this. And they decide how long they're gonna stay and they, and if the the bigger crime, the longer the time they're put out in. You know, time out. But instead of time out, why not put your child on a break? And you say, think about what you did wrong. And also you say and think about what you did wrong, have a change of a heart. And when you're ready to talk to mom, come, I'll be ready for you, I'll be waiting for you. And you also open up an opportunity for God to minister to their hearts. Yes, right, like the prodigal son's father waiting, right, it's just loving way, because God looks at the heart.
Speaker 2:So you know, when my kids were younger, like if, um, they weren't listening or if they were just emotionally so upset, even like teenagers, even adults need to take a break, don't we all right, yes, but you let them know this is not a punishment. You take a break. Why don't you just calm down? Because I mean, I've done it myself too.
Speaker 2:When we are in the middle of like emotional uproar, we get so upset and a lot of things spew out of our mouth. That is not loving and kind, right, yes, we want to calm down and help them to calm down, like we are teaching them life skills. Calm down, think about what you did wrong. And if they're just huffing and puffing or whatever, right, just calm down and change your heart. Be willing to listen and be willing to let's talk, right, and then have them come to you and then you ask questions like what did you do wrong? Right, and then, why is it wrong? Not, why did you do that? Because you know, foolishness is in the heart of a child. So when you ask kids, why did you do that, they're going to come up with all kinds of excuses. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:You're encouraging them to lie to you at that moment.
Speaker 2:So you say why is it wrong? Because when you ask them questions, you're actually getting them to think about it on their own, rather than us telling them what's right and what's wrong. Nicole, I have young adults who actually share with me too. I don't even know how to make decisions because I don't know how to think for myself, because my mom and my dad always told me what to do and what not to do, what's good for me and what's bad for me. I was always told what to do. So I don't know how to make decisions and I don't know how to think for myself.
Speaker 1:Right, you know we were just talking about that. We have a marriage group that we are currently doing the study how we love with right, and if anybody knows any details of that study, it really evaluates, like your emotional attachments that you had to your parents, whether they were healthy or unhealthy, right. So it evaluates like what your early years, your primary years, what emotions you carried and how you learn to handle them, and then it evaluates like how this comes to play with your adulthood. But one of the things that we were talking about in within the marriage group that I realize is so true exactly in what you were saying is there are so many individuals that have not been taught what we would consider maybe like critical thinking skills, right, the ability to be able to process a circumstance and process themselves in that circumstance.
Speaker 1:And so what happens is, you know, when we have you know, I remember when my kids were toddlers, right, it was like don't touch that plug.
Speaker 1:You touch that plug Like, yes, I might give you a gentle pop, because at that age you are associating like, yes, this plug will cause you pain as they got older, there got to be an age where now we need to have conversation, because not only is there just boundaries. Now I need to understand why these boundaries were put in place. Because if you understand why the boundaries were put in place, when you come to an age where you start to have to make decisions, you now understand why we created these boundaries, why we created these habits for you so that you can carry them out on your own, which essentially is a part of discipling. And so we talk about ministry happening at home. Like you are discipling your children, and I think that's sometimes where the mindset is like mixed up For all. The first one to say like I want to hold on to these children and say like my child, when all reality, like they're God's child first and the same commandment applies, that I'm to disciple them that's right.
Speaker 2:That's right. And I think one of the things that we miss, especially, you know, when the baby's first born oh my god, there's such a little precious thing and we just tend to them and you know. But as they become more independent, especially like elementary school years, even pre-teen, but then when they're going to middle school and high school, that's when they really need their parents even more so because they're going through so many changes physically, emotionally, mentally, just like you know, the social awkwardness, wanting to be accepted and belong. A lot of my adults that I'm working with, even in their 40s and 50s, if we actually track back, a lot of root, like the of the problem actually kind of like start in the middle school years and, um, going back to like really talking about identity because our you know, like you'd be so surprised, you know, even I work with parents. Like you'd be so surprised, you know, even I work with parents and kids and you'd be surprised that some parents, they bring their kids to me and say, you know, I'm even talking. When I say kid, I'm talking about even college graduate daughter is like this and she's like this, she's like this, she's like this, she's like this, she's like this, she's like this, she's like this, and she put so many labels, not positive, not who got that she did but negative things based on her own. You know, and it's like putting a curse on your children and how important it is for us to watch what we say. And, um, there was a seminar, I did it. Um, I spoke at toyota's headquarter and I titled it perfect food for your kids soul and it was all about power of your words as parents.
Speaker 2:So many parents just say things carelessly and a lot of times it may not even be their kids. It may be because they're tired and exhausted, because they're taking care of themselves, or stress that or whatever, and they would just dump all their on them, dump all their junk on their kids. But kids especially, you know teenagers, they know their parents and they know what their parents like and what they don't like. They know what they're expected out of them. So a lot of times I see kids just kind of tuning them out and parents just I mean kids just telling the parents giving them the answer that they know that's what they want to hear, and then they go into their adulthood and they are in depression and they got all these issues and I don't know what happened, because my child was perfect growing up. I don't know what happened.
Speaker 2:No, we fail to listen to your kids and connect with them. You know, when God created us, he not only created us as spiritual beings. We are physical, emotional beings, right, yes, and we talk about God and Jesus and spiritual, spiritual, spiritual. But they have feelings, they have thoughts. So I usually tell the parents parents, you know, you have right to be heard when you actually take some time out to listen to your kids, because a lot of kids say my parents never listen to me, they don't ever give me chance to even, you know, and then they just accuse them of stop talking. Absolutely, you want to listen, to understand where they are, rather than just right and wrongs and just really. You know, parenting is not behavior modification.
Speaker 1:Absolutely so. One of the sayings we have in our home, which you probably have heard before it's a popular one in some spaces, especially in freedom ministries is that feelings are not facts, but they do matter. And so that's something that we use very. I love that you used the word heart to heart. We used to call our family meetings safe space, and then it evolved, right when the kids were hitting middle school, to a space that we call heart to heart.
Speaker 1:And so it's a space where, hey, you come, we all come together and what happens? This this time, um, is not a time for punishment. It's not a time whatever is said here like this is heart to heart. This is where we're going to communicate about it. This is where, if we need to heal from it, if there needs to be apologies both ways right, like it's not that parents shouldn't apologize.
Speaker 2:We make mistakes I need to say I'm sorry exactly yes, because, as parents, you want to be the most comfortable sofa for your kids, but you know what happens when they go through adolescent years. Oh, my son used to talk to me, my daughter, but they turn to their friends. Why do you think? Because they don't feel that safe with their parents. So you know, I always tell the parents you are the most safe place that you, your kids, will want to say my mom is the. I know she would be the first one I would go to. My dad is the one that I will go to and I think he will not judge me.
Speaker 1:I know he will still love on me and help me through this crisis I'm going through, especially teenagers right, yeah, and I think especially too when you were directing them to Christ, right like, when I can with reserve my own because I'm emotional too, right like. And so when I can reserve my emotional response and acknowledge like, hey, this might be a little bit hard for mommy to hear right now, what do you think God says about this? Let's look at the word, let's direct them back to the one who created them, right, and I think that when we do that, we also help create, like a safe space that they know like I'm not just going to get mom spewing out emotions about all the mistakes I've made. I'm going to get the wisdom and direction that points me right back to the one who they should be going to, because one day, if I'm not able to be here guess who is? God will always be present, right, and so I absolutely love. I love what you're doing, especially because I know it's so needed, um in these times, especially with families.
Speaker 2:I believe the family is the first point of ministry yeah, yeah, and you know there are a lot of people in the church, but yet they feel shame to bring it up to pastors or even in the church, because they feel like they're not good enough and they don't. They feel like they're being judged. Not that they're being judged, but you know that insecurity, right? Yes, I feel like that's why God called me to just, um, really go out, meet people where they are. Jesus did not look from heaven above. Hey, if you want to be saved, just come to me. No, he came where we are and, um, I love the fact that Nicole, you talked about.
Speaker 2:You know you apologize when you did something wrong and not good, right? And you know kids watch how we live our lives. So they learn from watching us a lot more than what we teach them, because our life, of course, you know we're not perfect, so we make mistakes, but it's very, very important for us to be able to apologize. And I remember when my girls were growing up, I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, I should not have said that or that was not loving and thoughtful, and they're okay's, perfect, you know. But they were used to hearing me saying I'm sorry Because you know one of the other typical things kids say is my parents never apologize or admit whatever they want and they just pretend like they're not Nothing happened. Yes, our kids are very smart, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Hey, let's take a quick break to tell you about Grace Filled Community. Grace Filled Community is an organization that focuses on the primary principles of the Church of Acts, centered around building communities that impact the kingdom of God. We do this through three core extensions. One, graceville Church Network, where we empower churches and nonprofits for God's success and growth. We offer tailored growth strategies rooted in biblical principles that will help you expand your reach and impact your communities. Just like the early church, we focus not on attendance and numbers, but on discipleship, providing leadership teachings and trainings to today's ministry leaders. Our second extension is Project of the Grace Field, where we provide biblical counseling, mentorship, workshops and events that are dedicated to encouraging individuals to live a life filled with grace and purpose, rooted in the understanding that all have fallen short and are a working project. Let us help the individuals in your community grow as they walk with God and experience the fullness of his love. Our third extension is Grace-Filled Business. Grace-filled Business is here to help small, faith-based business owners develop their business in a way that honors God, that brings increase and allows them to pour back into his kingdom, through marketplace ministry and financing his kingdom. We do this through our 15 years of experience of virtual administrative work, digital marketing, business development and consulting.
Speaker 1:They are, and I think again, it's all about training them right, and so it's discipling them to understand what does a healthy relationship look like. You know, I want you to enter into a marriage and understand that you are going to make mistakes and they are going to make mistakes, and you need to apologize and not try to be an avoider and avoid what occurred, but face it on, apologize and also confront the enemy. That's a part of you know what's happening, cause I think that that's also something that you know. Um in often in churches, we can miss the aspect of wanting to confront the negative. Um, so many times because and I know this to be true right, the, the hype of, like everything is great, everything is positive, god is good, like all of those things can bring people in, but there is a reality that we face an enemy and even in that, like we signed up for this walk with Christ, the scripture tells us there's a reason why one of the fruits of the spirit is long suffering.
Speaker 1:And if we say we want the fruits of the spirit. We can't endeavor to have the fruits of the spirit and be like I'm going to skip this one. But yet, in order to develop it, that means you may have to suffer, to endure long suffering. And so I think that even in how we parent, we're training them up to understand what it will look like healthy relationship vertically with God. Because how many times do I have to go to God and say, sir, I'm so sorry, I messed this up.
Speaker 1:Does he know I messed it up, yes, but there's the humility that comes in being able to acknowledge that, like I messed up Right, and so as to acknowledge that, like I messed up right and so as to your point, like that's what we're teaching them, we're preparing them for those healthy relationships.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and just the just being able to really introduce them to amazing love and grace of God. Because you know they feel shame and they feel guilty too, right? So one of the things that you know, they feel shame and they feel guilty too, right? So, one of the things that you know, there's a one session that I speak. When I go out to speak. It's called toolbox of consequences. So I go over like seven toolboxes of consequences, but I always tell them y'all there's more, because when you turn to God, he will give you creative strategies and ideas to be able to handle certain situations that you never thought of. And he's done with me many times.
Speaker 2:But one of the first thing I share is like a natural consequence, right? So if you tell your daughter to make sure you take your coat with you, you know like coat with you, and then she didn't listen to you and she goes outside at a football game and she's freezing to death, the easiest thing for us to say is see, I told you so. So, like whenever there's a natural consequence, we automatically want to say I told you so, but that's not loving, because she's already cold and she's already going through the consequence of not listening to you. So instead of that's the natural way. But for us, we are the children of supernatural god, right? So instead of saying I told you so, I told you you'd be cold if you didn't bring it, like, we say, oh, show some empathy. Yes, show some empathy. I said I sorry, you must be really cold, you know what? And that's a way for allowing God to teach her. And she's actually learning from a natural consequence.
Speaker 2:We don't have to be the teacher all the time. A lot of times we actually get in the way when God wants to teach them something. God doesn't only use parents. God wants to teach them something. God doesn't only use parents. God uses grandparents, teachers, coaches and other adults in their lives to be able to say the same thing that we may, and then sometimes they just listen to them much better because they're so used to us. But taking a step back to just really trust in God and be patient.
Speaker 1:You know, you mentioned something just now about God using others, right, like it's not just we tend to take this and we're not supposed to carry any burden, but we tend to take it and say, like this is my burden to carry. I have to raise these children up to be great men and women, right, and that's one of the reasons why I mean grace-filled community. That's one of the reasons why I mean grace-filled community. That's one of the reasons why I love the aspect of community, because it really benefits you, right. Like when we look at acts and how community was designed. No one went without, because each of them had their own strengths and they brought it together, and so that's the power that comes with us being within community, because, yes, there are other people that can speak into your child. There are other people that may see something with your child that you may not see. I can't tell you how many prophetic words, how many times someone has spoken something into my children. I'm like, oh, thank the Lord, like I actually needed to hear that too, like you know. And so that's the power of community and why it's so important to be in community.
Speaker 1:I think one of the things that happens, though, is that we sometimes don't want to do the work to build community Like we want community. We've all heard the saying like oh, it takes a village to raise a child. Yes, it does, but you have to do the work to build community. It doesn't just happen by chance, and so part of the thing that I encourage people to do you know, even in parenting and in life in general is find your community like, connect with community. And when you connect with community, you have to understand where you are. Are you somebody that is at a stage where you can disciple, you can mentor? Are you at a stage where you're looking to be discipled? Because that also determines what community and what type of community you look for.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and the ideal thing is, like, you know, when I was in college, like literally baby Christian, right, my college pastor's wife, my parents weren't Christians at that time, so I never heard. The funny thing is all the stuff that my mom taught me growing up there were very kingdom biblical principles, even though she never read the bible back then, right, but God had really, um, my college pastor's wife literally embraced me and took me on and she has mentored me. There were times I was calling, a couple of times like day, every day, and now I rarely call her, I call her, but now they were like, you know, 35 years, right, and then, you know, things started changing and now it got to a point where she was asking me, giving me her prayer request, and I was able to pray for her and they're in California and I haven't seen them for such a long time and I said I need to go and see them because they're in their 80s now. But ideally, it's all it's. We want to have somebody who can pour on us as we are also pouring others. Of course it starts with God, but you know we're not meant to do life alone. And you talk about community.
Speaker 2:I love my community and you know, sometimes, honestly, nicole, I'm a Korean American. So, on the eight, you know I look very Asian outside, but I grew up here ever since I was little, so I'm very bicultural, bilingual. I know the American and actually Americans think I'm not as um, uh, koreanist. They expect me to, no, no, like Koreans, expect me to be more like Koreans because, um, because of the way I look, right, I'm just too Americanized, right, and when I talk to you I'm not Korean enough for them because I'm so American in the way I think and see. But, more than anything, kingdom principles, and you know kingdom family, black, white, yellow, green, what kind? Because when we leave this earth, when god calls home, it's gonna be multi, multi-color, from all different countries and, um, just, you know it's god is on the move. But when you talk about community, you be like I'm so thankful and grateful, nicole, because when I talk about my sisters in the Lord, my kingdom family, it's not just Koreans, it's all from all different backgrounds, from different countries.
Speaker 1:Yes, I love that. So you know, I'm similar in the aspect. I'm not Korean. No, you don't look it uh, but I.
Speaker 1:so I grew up in a community that was filled with caucasians. In my school it was me and another young black girl, and you could point us out like through our class um, and so growing up, that's what I became accustomed to. My extended family were in different parts of the you know country they were. They were in environments that consisted of more African Americans, and so what would happen and this is part of me learning my identity, like you said, middle school age wise, I felt like I didn't fit in anywhere. I felt I didn't fit in even with family or other blacks. I didn't fit in because I wasn't Caucasian. And over time I realized, you know where I fit in. With the kingdom of God, it doesn't matter to skin color, it doesn't matter what my hair type is, it doesn't matter how I speak. Do I talk like this group? Do I talk like this group? I talk kingdom, and so when.
Speaker 1:I had my children and being a homeschooling mama, even when I started teaching them like I remember having family members that were pretty upset like you haven't taught them black history and I'm like, no, not yet, because the primary history I want them to know is biblical history and I want them to be able to know that God created all and God loves all. And when we learn this history, we learn it from eyes of grace and love, not from a space of hate.
Speaker 2:That's right. That's right. And the funny thing is, honestly, like you know, I lived in California for about over 30 years and I've been in Texas for about eight and a half years, but before that, um I, when we first moved to America, we moved from South Korea to um Memphis, tennessee. So I grew up in Memphis Tennessee all from my adolescent years started like end of my fifth grade I learned my English for the first, like I learned my alphabets, so I got by. I was like the.
Speaker 2:At that time, back in 1970s, they didn't really have Asians or even Hispanics, it was just blacks and whites. But you know, people ask me did you ever experience discrimination or racism growing up in the south? And I didn't. And even though I did not know god back then, I know god was looking after me and I had wonderful friends, blacks and whites, and they just like used to call me oh, I'm a korean doll and they were so good to me. But then that's where I learned my English. So I talk about Korean accent in there, black accent in there, right, southern draws in there. So when I first moved to California, when I went to UCLA and and I'm pretty boisterous and I'm, I love people, right yes and they're like, excuse me what they peep.
Speaker 2:Strangers would come to me and ask me where am I from? Because of my such an accent. It was just a mixture of white, black, southern Korean accent. And then, at the same time, I did not know Christ when I first went to college. So I was like, oh my gosh, look at all these Asians. And I felt uncomfortable. Oh my gosh, look at all these asians and I feel uncomfortable. Yes, but talk about identity change and transformation. When I found that I am the daughter of the most high king and I've been kingdom family and the royal family, I don't care where I go. Right, I know who I am because who can be against me if God is for me? So I'm just so thankful to be God's daughter. Yes, I'm not ashamed of how I look, no matter what other people say. I know who I am because I trust and believe who God says.
Speaker 1:I am, yes, exactly that's. It's so funny because when, um, you know there are times you, you speak, I see places, we know how it goes. Sometimes they're like, ok, what's the bio? And I'm like let's just jump to what we're doing. Like the bio is that I am a daughter of God. If there's anything that's coming after that, I am a wife and mom. Let's go right.
Speaker 1:Because I do think that sometimes we can let a person's background dictate how we receive the word of God from them. And although, absolutely, the Bible gives us instructions on who should be teachers, the qualifications when we talk about pastors and so forth, yet I think our society has sometimes put a blanket or a box around. Like I need to hear from somebody that looks exactly like me, or I need to receive from somebody that's gone through exactly what I've gone through, and if that's what you're looking for, then you're you're trying, you're not trying, you are limiting the way that God can speak through someone to you and you could miss that very word that he has for you. And so I heavily encourage people, I'm like this is a kingdom culture and that's what it is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. And you know I'm so thankful and grateful as a Korean American and I am a proud Korean American I still eat Korean food, although I don't like making them because it's so much work. I still eat Korean food, although I don't like making them because it's so much work. But you know, when I'm, you know, leading our women's group in the church, you should see all these beautiful faces and they don't look like me.
Speaker 2:We got whites and blacks, we got Brazilian, we got Ukrainian, we got Hispanic, we got Indian, we got like all kinds of ladies and I'm like, oh my God, and different generations, that too. Indians, we got like all kinds of ladies and I'm like, oh my god, and different generations, that too. That's what kingdom family looks like, right and um, that, you know, grace-filled community, like you know, god has called us, god wants to reveal himself through us. But how many churches or communities that you know who's walked out of church because of church wounds or father wounds? And you know I've spoken to quite a lot of parents where they have a strange son or daughters or like they never want to go to church because they've been hurt by church.
Speaker 1:And I say, you know what we're going to look up to God we're all right, right, absolutely absolutely know, one of the best analogies that I've had and I use often is that, like the scripture tells us, church is the place made for the sick.
Speaker 1:It is the hospital, and so if it is the place made for the sick, guess what? We're going to have some results of those that are sick in the church, and that's where church hurt comes from, because we all have spaces Like we're going from glory to glory to glory. None of us have reached perfection. Otherwise, if we did reach perfection, we would be up there with Jesus. So, like we are all going from glory to glory, the thing that the analogy that I often talk about is one that I got from a book called I think it's called Healing from Church Hurt, and I'll put it in the show notes, guys, because I may not be saying the title correct, but one of the things he says is like, if we're, if you went to the hospital and you had a surgical procedure and this particular procedure, it's a special procedure that the and you leave out and you start having pain and you, you come back.
Speaker 1:Right, you go back to that place because you want to figure out what's still happening. You don't run from the place, you go back to that place. So sorry, there's a gauze left inside of you. We need to go back and we need to take that gauze out. Are you going to run and say, hey, just leave the gauze in. I'm going to stay in pain because I don't want you to touch me or I don't want you to be the one to walk me through this healing. Or are you going to lay on that table and say get me out of this pain, go ahead and remove this gauze, right? And I think so many times like we have church hurt and we're so quick to run versus maybe sit just for a moment. I'm not saying that you're tied to be there forever, right, but sit for a moment and let God heal you in the very space where your hurt was, because that's what he does.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and, and the thing is, one thing I do want to really bring about is, like you know, we talk about church wounds, but there are so many more church healings too, absolutely, yes, like I remember, when some people go through some tough times, we all come alongside and one another and loving on one another. Last year we had incident where we had some painful experience we're going through as a church and I remember being at churches and there's no perfect church because us right, yes, but I remember going to church and everybody was also used to like, when things happen, like, oh yeah, he said this and she said this and that. But when something happened last year at our church, when we came together, hey, are you OK? We're just one another, checking up on each other and praying for one another, talking to one another, checking up on each other and praying for one another, hey, I'm here if you ever want to talk. You know, and we have seen so many people who have breakthroughs and healings from the church. Absolutely, and I won't be at church.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean, right, exactly. I think it's very similar to, like you know, we go to a restaurant and it's like we have so many positive experiences. And how often are those positive experience the ones that are communicating without being coerced, like you hear, like okay, we'll give you a free appetizer if you give a good review, but let somebody have a negative experience. There's nothing that it takes to coerce them. They're like I want to tell people about this negative experience and I think church is in the same way. There's so many healing stories, there's so many community stories, there's so many God stories. That's why we even do this podcast. Like there's so much good that does happen in the church. Do we need to address and deal with the negative and heal from it? Absolutely, but let's not discredit all the good that is happening.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because it's God. God is our church and you know God knows and sees and he knows we've been hurt and he knows everything about us. But it is in God's perfect will to heal us. So if we don't make ourselves available and keep running away, then we're robbing ourselves of like abundant life healed that God sent Jesus to give us right. So we have to make ourselves available, even when it's hard. Love yourself. I mean, there's a reason God said love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul and mind and strength. Love others as yourself. How are you going to love others if you cannot even love yourself?
Speaker 1:Right, absolutely yes, so so, so true. Well, I just looked at the time and I'm like where did the time go?
Speaker 2:No, we talk about this all day and all night.
Speaker 1:All day, all day, all night, at this, all day and all night, all day, all day, all night. Well, I don't want to give our listeners a disservice by not letting them know how they can stay connected with you, what you can do to help serve them. If they're looking for some parenting, looking for life coaching, um, we're gonna have to do another episode to talk about this health and wellness part.
Speaker 1:Uh, yes, that's so powerful testimonies like oh my god, okay, we're gonna schedule part two. Health and wellness. Stay tuned, guys, um, but please tell our listeners how they can stay connected with you.
Speaker 2:Sue, um what you do for the community as far as parenting and coaching okay, so you guys can, um, they could reach me, um, my website is sueparkcoachingcom and it's su without the e, so it's s-u-p-a-r-k. Coachingcom and there's a way for you guys to send me a message and I will respond. But, um, you know, I do speak at different churches and different organizations and not limited to only churches I've spoken at, you know, secular companies, like when I spoke at Toyota headquarters, they liked it, they liked it it wasn't all Christian audience either and they have a parents of Toyota group and Christian fellowship group and they sponsor and they liked it so much they wanted me to come back every year and speak and I literally spoke there about eight times so far and it actually opens up the opportunity for coaching opportunities. They hear me speak and then, if they like, they want extra help. Then you know a um, um email that you can contact and I will contact you.
Speaker 2:And kingdom life coaching is a whole another thing, because god loves us so much that we have all the right to live a healed, restored life of freedom and abundance. And I'm not talking about only spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, relationally. Yes, yes, you know. So usually what I do is if anybody's interested in what I do, or getting some extra help or whatever, whether for speaking or one-on-one um and I do marriage coaching as well, because they all go together right. I usually give a first appointment, free, free consultation, and there's no, no requirement for them to sign up with me by any chance, but just for me to, just if, for me to even give them feedback. I'm not called to help everybody because I'm not Jesus. So if I don't feel like I can help, I will be happy to refer them to other people who I think, because my job is to love and serve.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, I love it. You have such a good heart. I've always known it. I know it even more today. I'm so grateful to be in community with you. Love you very much. Thank you for coming on, and we literally we're going to schedule part two, because I want to talk about health and wellness too, totally.
Speaker 2:Yes, all right.
Speaker 1:Well, gracefield listeners, we hope, as always, that you've been inspired and encouraged by today's episode. We are so grateful that you have tuned in. I want to encourage you. If you are seeking community, we are here for you. Please connect with gracefieldcommunitycom. We would love to get you plugged in and connected into a local community near you, as well as with our online community. Thanks again for tuning in. You have a blessed time in the Lord. Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of Graceville Community Podcast. We would like to invite you to visit gracevillecommunitycom.
Speaker 1:Graceville Community is all about doing church the way Church of Acts did, using five main principles that we see in the Book of Acts. Sharing resources, as believers pooled their possessions and resources to support those in need, as we see in Acts 2.44. Through hospitality the early Christians practiced hospitality by opening their homes to others, as we see in Acts 2.46. By financial aid the church in Antioch sent financial aid to believers in Judea during a time of famine, as described in Acts 11 and 29. Prayer and encouragement they supported each other through prayer and encouragement, as we see in Acts 4 and 24. And finally, spiritual guidance the Apostles and elders provided spiritual guidance and teaching to help strengthen and build the community, as we see in Acts 15 30. I would like to encourage you. If any of those areas are areas in which you are in need or can contribute, please reach out to graceville community. We are working together across the world with ministries and individuals alike to help bring back the church of acts.
