#028 Dissonance & Harmony: Rewriting the Score After Paralysis - Clare Henry

Most stories of resilience are inspiring, but Clare Henry’s journey might just redefine what you think is possible. At only 18, she faced a devastating spinal cord stroke that left her paralyzed from the chest down — but her response? Pure determination, unwavering faith, and a relentless pursuit to pursue her dreams of music, no matter the odds. This is the comeback story you didn’t know you needed.

In this episode, Clare takes us inside her life growing up on the Kenai Peninsula, sharing how her early love for music shaped her, and the moment everything changed forever. We dive deep into the intense medical journey that followed: the mysterious diagnosis, the countless tests, and the critical moments that kept her fighting for every inch of progress. Her story isn’t just about physical recovery — it’s about mental resilience, the power of community, and trusting a higher purpose in the face of unimaginable challenges.

You’ll discover: how Clare found strength in her faith, her innovative techniques to regain independence, and the powerful lessons she learned about hope and perseverance. From applying to top music schools like Berklee while still in the hospital, to creating epic compositions that evoke emotion across borders — her artistry is a testament to the human spirit’s capacity to adapt and thrive.

Why does this matter? Because Clare’s story isn’t just about a young woman overcoming adversity — it’s a call to reframe what is truly possible when you refuse to give up. Her journey highlights the importance of community, faith, and the mindset that setbacks are setups for a comeback. Whether you’re facing your own hurdles or seeking inspiration to push beyond limits, Clare’s experience will motivate you to see obstacles as opportunities for growth.

Perfect for anyone facing their own battles, aspiring musicians, or those interested in stories of faith and resilience — this episode will leave you inspired and ready to conquer your next challenge. Don’t miss Clare’s powerful message: no matter what life throws at you, your potential is limitless.

Follow Clare on Instagram: @Clarehenry05

Transcript

Manny (00:00)
Does it feel weird coming home on breaks?

It feels weird at first, which is, it's like a good weird. I'm like, Ooh, like this is different. And I like it. have my own bathroom. I don't have to wear shower shoes. Mom's cooking for me. Yes, exactly. I'm like, dad, can you please cook me pozole? Hold up. Your dad knows how to make pozole? Really good pozole. the really good. Maybe we should invite you over and you can try his pozole. Weigh in on the pozole? Yes. No, it's really good. It's like one of my favorite dishes. Sweet.

Zach knows how to make Pasole. I also didn't know that he can play guitar and sing. He's really good. He's really good. Yeah. I really enjoy his voice. Yeah. I don't remember. Maybe this was the last.

break that you were here, somebody showed me, probably Jenny, a clip of you guys singing and playing guitar together. Yeah, yeah. And that was really good. I would love to do a duet with him. Like, I would love to release music and I would love to duet him. Like him play guitar and then we duet. I would love to do that. I'm going to do it. It's just like, I don't know when. Sure, matter of when. So early influences with music.

Like, was it basically at home? Was your dad big influence, or your mom, or was there anyone else in your family that got you into it? No, yeah, my parents, like music. Yeah. Yeah, so I've grown up in a pretty musical family. Pretty much all my grandparents are, like my dad's mom, my mom's mom, and then my mom.

⁓ They all have like really good voices and my dad plays guitar and then also has a really good voice and so I've kind of just been like, you know, grown up around it and ⁓ my parents have been huge influences and ⁓ music teachers like all my music teachers, they've been really helpful.

I gosh, if music was such a part of your life, there was probably not a whole push to be like, Clare, do you want to have music lessons or voice lessons or anything like that? Like, what are the earliest memories of doing it outside of just being at home and singing or learning how to play instruments? When it become official? ⁓ I went to, so I went to Cook Inlet Academy and ⁓ we had a music teacher there, Dan Johnson, and he... ⁓

gave me lessons and then I also performed at Cook Inlet so that was kind of I think my first like my first voice lessons. How old were you during that time? Um I must have been in like third grade. Okay. Um yeah third fourth grade I think. All right. And then I transferred I guess I went to Audra Calloway at the time Audra Ferris but Audra Calloway is the choir teacher at Sohi. I did music lessons with her like

I want to say like fifth or sixth grade. ⁓ And she has been like, I would not be anywhere near where I am today without, like she has been a tremendous help. ⁓ Like so talented, she's so talented, like classically trained, really, yeah, really good, a really good person and a really good, has a really good voice. ⁓ So she, I have really enjoyed taking lessons with her. And I stopped my junior year of high school.

just because she was teaching choir and we were just kind of getting busy. also, I played in the orchestra and then also the jazz band at SoHi and Mark Urick, he's the band instructor at SoHi and then also at Skyview. But he's been a huge influence as well. I loved playing with him in the orchestra too actually. played in the orchestra.

and in band. Sweet. Yeah. That's really cool. Yeah. And are those people are probably still around, right? Still on the peninsula? Yeah, they're still. And actually I forgot to mention another person, Maria Allison. She's a very accomplished pianist. I took lessons with her like my, I think my junior and senior year of high school, or no, my senior and my senior year of high school. And then when I took a gap year, I was taking lessons with her and ⁓ she is just like phenomenal. And I, she's been, she's accompanied me many times, like since I've

started performing and so she's been amazing and is amazing. That's awesome. Yeah. Well, Clare Henry, thank you so much for being here today and talking to me. Yeah. Thank you for inviting me. Of course. Yeah. You're here visiting from Boston and you, but you grew up here on the Kenai peninsula, right? Yeah. So did you grow up in Soldotna technically? Yeah. So I was born, I actually was born in Nashville, Tennessee, and then my parents moved

to Soldotna when I was, it was under, I was under a year old. I don't know exactly, I think it may have been like five months or something. But I was under a year old, they moved here. So I've grown up here. And I have loved living here in Alaska. It's so different than everywhere else, but I love it.

been amazing. Something that you realize now as like a young adult or something that you knew even while you were growing up here that like this is an awesome place. I mean I loved it when I was little but I think being like going to Boston and then coming back I'm like, wow it's like we live very differently. Like I feel like a hillbilly going to Boston. Yeah everybody is just like you know dressed to the tee like it's a very different lifestyle. It's stressful over there too super fast pace. ⁓

And then the East Coast mentality is just different than, I grew up on the West Coast anyways and it's much more chill, relaxed. And yeah, East Coast is culture shock for sure, let alone coming from Alaska. Yeah, definitely don't like, I mean, the city is fine. I think if I was to be in a city, Boston's great, I like it, but I definitely prefer small town. I'm a small town girl. So what kind of things were you into growing up here?

I loved anything outdoors. like fishing, hunting, camping, hiking, like exploring. Like I love any of So like Alaska is a great place to be for that. Yeah, totally. And I don't know, just some hobbies. I like, I love reading. I like doing puzzles.

I like, I don't know, walking. I feel like a grandma sometimes. Mentally, like internally I'm a grandma in a young body. you speed walking in like a full track suit though? Yeah, okay, yeah, I need to do that. Well, you have the perfect dad for adventuring in Alaska.

Recently was talking to Jenny and she's like Zach's out hunting. I haven't heard from him in a couple days. I'm like, are you worried? Are you worried? It's this is when like there's crazy windstorms and stuff and she's like, yeah wait a couple days before I get worried and then thankfully everything was fine. Yeah, we'll check the news. you know, hope everything's okay. Your dad seems like a really cool dude. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's awesome. Your family's great. I've got to meet them just through you know work at the hospital and

and kind of intersected with your family around the time, which we'll talk about a little bit later, some crazy event that happened in your life. And so for me, a newcomer to like this awesome family and friend group, I was like, this is unreal. Like one, what happened? then two, just the amazing support that you had around you. But growing up, what instruments jumped out to you? Like, what do you remember learning how to play first?

So I took piano when I was really little. I started piano and ⁓ I didn't really practice when I was little, as little kids do. They don't practice usually. ⁓ So I've done piano ever since I was like, I want to say like eight or so. ⁓ And then I learned clarinet in third grade. And then... ⁓

It's kind of like a high, like learning new instruments. You're like, this is awesome. In third grade, was that part of school or was that just independently? was part of band. Yeah. So I learned. So I did clarinet like third through sixth grade and then I kind of stopped and then I picked up piano again. And then, ⁓ I wanted to learn the cello. So I just got a cello off of Facebook marketplace. Thank you, mom and dad, ⁓ for paying for that. And, ⁓ so I was learning cello and I didn't have a teacher cause there's not a lot of music teachers here on the peninsula. So.

I was taking online lessons through Eastman School of Music in New York. And ⁓ I just like joined the orchestra and I wasn't very good, but I loved it. And I hope I didn't cause too much trouble or I didn't make them sound bad or anything. So I learned cello and then, yeah, I was kind of voluntold in jazz band to learn saxophone. I came in with the impression thinking I was gonna play clarinet and...

Mr. ⁓ Urick, Mark Urick, ⁓ he just handed me a saxophone. He's like, here, you're playing this. So like, okay, I guess I'll learn the saxophone too. yeah, I love learning instruments. so you said learning a new instrument is like a high instrument that you get to learn how to play? my next victim is ⁓ the French horn. That's my next victim. Look out French horns. know, Clare's coming for you. ⁓ yeah.

So when you approach a new instrument, it a new challenge? Is it the challenge the same and you're like, I'm just gonna learn this in a snap or is it other instruments that are harder to learn than others? What's your experience with that? ⁓ So usually, so with the cello, I just loved the way that it sounded and so was like, I really wanna learn that. And know when you just get into something, you're like.

you're all like hyped up, you're like, this is awesome. And then you get to a point where like, ⁓ this is okay. Like I don't really want to learn it. Like, you know what mean? This is hard. ⁓ But I love playing like with other people. And so I think joining, like playing, being able to play with other people, like my cello, that encouraged me to keep going. ⁓ So it definitely does get hard, but it's like.

I have a goal, I wanna get really good at this. And so I just like, you know, pursue it as hard as I can. So which instruments do you know how to play that you would say that you're proficient at and what are your favorite? I would say I'm most proficient at piano.

And then ⁓ I can't play these instruments right now, but I was pretty proficient in clarinet and saxophone and I was definitely getting way better with cello. ⁓ And I don't know, I guess you could say ukulele. I feel like everybody knows how to play the ukulele. It's just like, you know, like simple chords, you know? ⁓ piano is the easiest for me to play. And then obviously singing, but yeah, piano is my favorite.

When did you start to become more serious about singing? I think it had its own spot. I think my mom knew that I had something special before I did, and then she encouraged me and put me in, had me perform at Cook Inlet and ⁓ put me in lessons.

So I kind of grew up, like, I thought, well, I thought that everybody had, I thought that everybody was the same. Like, we had the same, like, abilities with singing. And, which is kind of funny. You didn't realize that not everyone can sing? Yeah, yeah. No, I think at one point I like walked past, my mom and I walked past the, there was a choir concert at SoHi, and we walked past, there were open doors. And I was like, I turned to my mom and I'm like, why do they sound like that?

I don't remember this, but she told me this. it wasn't necessarily that they were singing bad, it was just maybe the tone, you know what I mean? Maybe a little bit of pitch. But I just thought everybody had the same as I did and I didn't really understand until I was a little bit older. But I grew up, because my mom did all of that, encouraged me and put me in all these different things, I kind of just grew up knowing that I was, you know, like, I'm able to sing, you know what I mean? Yeah. Interesting.

Did you feel at home on stage performing? Like that can be kind of nerve wracking or scary for some people, especially kids. mean, gosh, I just went to a Christmas concert and like you see the kids that are terrified and then you see the kids that are absolutely like, this is what I was born to do. To be on the stage in front of people. How did you feel? I, it's kind of weird. I think singing in front of a lot of people is easier than singing in a smaller group of people. Interesting.

Like I would rather sing with a huge crowd versus like five people, which is really weird. And I think it's maybe just because with the five people, you're more vulnerable. Like you have more of like a personal connection with them. And on stage it's just like, show up, sing. And then, you know, it's not really like you have a personal connection with each and every one of them. You know what I mean? ⁓ Which my dad is like the total opposite. I think he enjoyed, or he would prefer singing in a smaller group versus a...

larger group. But yeah, I still get nervous. But I would rather sing for a big group.

So When did you realize that music might be

like the path, you know, it was something that you definitely had exposure to as a child, something that you realized that you had a talent for and not only just with musical instruments, but in singing. And as that developed in high school and through all these private lessons and extracurricular things that you were doing, when did you think that maybe it might be something you wanted to do, like as an adult? Pursue. Yeah, pursue is like.

perhaps ⁓ a career or a big next step? ⁓ I think I went through a couple of different phases in high school, like, I wanna do this and I wanna do this. I think I had a phase of wanting to be a surgeon ⁓ or a nurse or something. And then a finance, I kind of was into finance. ⁓ But I think I realized that I wanted to pursue it my senior year of high school. ⁓

and during my gap year, I decided that I wanted to pursue that. ⁓ Beforehand, I was thinking about it. I wasn't really that big of, I wasn't really enjoying lessons that much. But I think as I got older and realized that there's more avenues than just singing, you know what I mean? There's more out there. I think I was pretty interested in it.

At what point, or I guess what was the process of applying to schools? Like when you decide like, I wanna do this, wanna pursue music. Where do you even start? Like where do you start looking? ⁓ So we just kind of, I just like look up 12 best music schools or just kind of surf online. But we looked at, or I applied to like Florida State, ⁓ Biola, University of Cincinnati.

And then also kind of the top dogs like Juilliard. And ⁓ obviously Berklee, New England Conservatory, Eastman, just kind of all the good music schools. So I applied to most of those. And then what's the process? If you're a music school, I think of traditional school you apply to and they're looking at your academic transcripts and your...

your, maybe your work history or experiences and stuff like that. But with a music school, I feel like you could say you play a million instruments and you can say that you're singing, but do they just accept anybody? What are the qualifications that they look for? It's kind of different for each school. They kind of have their own way of going about accepting students and just how they do that. It was honestly really complicated with applying to...

to more than five schools, it just makes it super complicated, because each school has their own criteria. So you're learning different songs for each school, and you basically have to submit two applications, an academic application and then a musical application, which makes it also double hard. ⁓ You usually have to go through pre-auditions, which is an audition before an audition, just to make sure that...

they're not wasting their time with people. It's not like the outtakes of American Idol. Yeah, pretty much, yeah. So that kind of made it complicated. ⁓ each, yeah, like I said, they each had their own criteria for what songs they wanted people to audition with and you know, all that. And so it wasn't super enjoyable process, to be honest. So you're in the middle of...

going down that route with school, ⁓ considering where you wanted to apply and just in the midst of that big process. And a pretty serious event occurred for you. I'm just calling it the event. The event. ⁓ But walk me through what happened that day.

Should I explain the college thing or should I do that later? Yeah. If you wanted to talk about, if you wanted to talk about that, since we were just discussing that, talk about that and then move into this, that would actually be pretty good transition. Okay. So

After high school, I decided to take a gap year, or it was kind of a pseudo gap year, because I was taking online classes, just because I didn't want to be doing nothing. So I was taking classes. I decided to apply for the spring semester to some colleges. So I applied for, I want to say like six colleges, and Berklee College of Music in Boston was one of those. I don't know if I got into all of them, but most of them, I got into most of them.

⁓ I ended up not really feeling ready to go to college. And then also I didn't get the scholarship that I wanted to go to Berkeley. I think I got like a quarter or half off or something, which like 70 grand a year is a little much. so I was just gonna wait till the next fall. So I was in the process of applying for the next fall. ⁓ I think I applied to like 11 different schools.

Berkeley was obviously one of them. My mom, so we did pre-auditions, the pre-auditions that I passed, which I think were most of them. My mom and I planned a trip for, like a week long trip in February to live audition. It was like six or seven different schools. was a crazy amount. But ⁓ we orchestrated this whole plan and ⁓ Berkeley sadly was, well sadly at the time, was one of the only schools that I.

wasn't able to audition live. So we had to do it in January instead of February. So my audition was on, I think it was like the 22nd of January. And this is what year? This is 2024. Okay. Right? I think so. We're in 26 now. yeah, 2024. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So 2024, I applied to different colleges, had an online...

Zoom audition with Berklee. It went well. ⁓ And at the time, had, I think it was either that day or the following day, I started experiencing upper back slash lower, yeah, lower neck pain. And it was, it was like nerve pain. It kind of felt like I slept wrong, but it was different. Like it was, I kept telling my parents, was nerve pain. Every time I lifted my arms,

or bend my head forward or back or like looked up. It was just like excruciating sharp pain. And it like took the, every time I do that and take the breath out of me. That's how I explain it. It's like, it was super weird. But anyway, so I did the audition. That starts happening at that time. Two days later, it was like, yeah, it was like two or three days later. It was a Wednesday, it was January 24th. My dad and I get up, we go cross country skiing cause the Tsalteshi trails.

Cross-country skiing trails are right behind our house, which is awesome. But we went cross-country skiing, came home, made breakfast, and then I went to my piano lesson. And I think it was about 15 to 20 minutes into my piano lesson, my fingers and my arms started feeling really heavy. They were just like so heavy. And I was playing the piano when it started happening. So I was like, this just feels really weird. And then it progressed to...

Like having back and I think my back pain my clavicles were hurting like my chest and hurt to breathe I think my my neck started hurting And it was just very it was like severe pain, but it was very uncomfortable Like you know when you're like squirming because it hurts so bad. Yeah, like you like really want to cry But like how do I get out of this position? That's yeah How do I like make this go away it like I was like squirming around trying to find like a comfortable position. I like

could not. ⁓ And meanwhile, this is going on while she's explaining stuff to me. I'm trying to play the piano while this is happening and then she starts demonstrating something and then ⁓ she finally looks at me and says, Clare, are you okay? And then I just immediately start crying. I tell her that I've had upper back pain, nerve pain, I think it has something to do with that. I need to go to the hospital. ⁓

I never say I need to go to hospital, so when I say that, it actually is serious. So I call my mom, she tells me to come in. Which, we didn't discuss this, but your mom is a nurse practitioner on Yeah, she was on shift that day. And working in the emergency department. Yeah, which is kind of funny, not funny, you know what mean? So Maria, Allison, my piano instructor, brings me to the hospital, my dad meets her there, or me there, sorry.

My dad meets me there, I walk into the hospital, and I'm my mom's patient, which is kind of ironic. ⁓ So I'm my mom's patient, I go into this room and they're kind of testing my strength. And I think that they tested my hands first and they were ⁓ like weaker, they were like not how they should be. And then they kind of moved down to my legs. They felt weak, but I don't think that they were weak, but they felt it.

They handed me a pen to sign something and I couldn't grab the pen like I just like couldn't grab it And I think that that is when my dad like like fear just set in like he realized like something's like really wrong because I don't think that you like You know, like you go the hospital. Nothing seems looks wrong and you're like, I don't know this could be just you know ⁓ red flag for him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like just fear set in ⁓

So at that point, I think I started getting a little bit emotional and like, my gosh, what is going on? And I went to a lot of, did a lot of testing, like MRIs and ⁓ like spinal taps. I think it was, before I did all the testing, think I was like completely, I was like paralyzed from the chest down. It took like a couple of hours and I was just like paralyzed from the chest down. Wow. Which was...

⁓ very scary. Yeah. It didn't happen like, I mean, it seemed like the onset was sudden, but kind of this gradual, like you were playing and then like, then it was more difficult. then eventually you're not able even to grasp a pen. And then, so you're saying that like it just functioned, kind of dwindled. Yeah. Yep. Exactly. And one thing that I'm super grateful for is I never lost my shoulders and then also my biceps.

So I was able to like bring my arms up and flex my biceps, like bring my arm towards me. And then I also had my wrist, what do you call this? flexor? Yeah, flexing. Flexing. Yeah, so flexing upward. I never lost that. But like palm up and then flexing towards me, I couldn't do that. And then I didn't have my triceps and then everything from chest and down I didn't have. And this happened within a period of minutes, hours? Like hour, I'd say a couple hours. Yeah.

which honestly is kind of all a blur. When I look back, I'm like, oh, it didn't happen very fast. Time flies by when you're doing all these things. But... And your mental faculties are all there. You're watching function from your hands and your feet. Basically from your chest down, like you said, just kind of go away. cognitively, you're tracking everything that's happening. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, like I said, it's hard to remember exactly what I was thinking and what I was feeling. But I do remember every time I saw somebody that I knew, I would start crying. And it wasn't hysterical crying, was just like, would just make me emotional. And asking my parents what their perspective of me was, they said that I was very calm. And I do remember not, I was just,

very calm, just taking it all in. Like, I can't do anything about this situation. We just have to wait and try to figure out what this is. ⁓ So I did, you know, MRIs. I do remember crying in the MRI machine, was, yeah, pretty sad. There's like a little mirror where you can see the people who are doing your MRI and like my mom and like other people that I knew were in there. ⁓ And then, yeah, spinal tap. And the spinal tap guy was like telling me dad jokes.

While I'm like, I can't roll over, like people are like holding me and I'm like, I honestly was able to have a conversation. I was like kind of trying to laugh, make him feel good about his jokes. While I'm just like, know. ⁓ So yeah, I eventually ended up in like a room and like family comes to visit and ⁓ I don't know if any friends came. I think it was just family because we just, at that point they were the only ones that knew.

All the doctors were coming in and you know, um, and yeah, I mean I was able to have like conversation. I mean, I think I was still in kind of like shock like what is going on. Yeah. But I mean, it was just laying there. I guess the bed was comfortable. I don't know.

This is still the ER though. Yeah, this is still the ER. When you look back, because your mom is your provider. know that she's, know, there's, she works with doctors as well, but like your mom was like, Clare's coming out, you know, take, find out what's going on with Clare. And then it's like, my gosh. When you look back on that, like, how do you talk to your mom about that whole scenario? Like was she like, I mean,

It's probably your worst nightmare to have to take care of your own kid or family member, someone you love. What was that like for her, do think? I think, ⁓ I haven't asked her recently, but from what I remember, when I did ask her, she said that, I think she just kind of put her emotions to the side and was just like, we need to figure out what this is. And she was doing every test that she could think of. Like she was bringing in doctors that she knew and like all, you know.

She was just trying to figure out what this was and make sure that it didn't progress more than what it had done. ⁓ And so I think she just kind of like disconnected for a little bit. And then obviously when we're just like sitting in the room, like it kind of all hits. I think that that's, don't want to like, know, say the wrong thing that she, you know, what she was feeling.

I think, I'm pretty sure that's what she, I remember her saying. Gosh, yeah, it'd be wild to be in that scenario. So all this testing is being done in the ER, and then at what point they're like, we gotta get you somewhere else to find out what's going on. What happened once you left here? Yeah, so they thought, they were trying to figure out what it was. There were a couple, like,

diseases or infections on the table. ⁓ And botulism was one of them, because I had made kimchi before and I was eating it like that week. ⁓ So they were, my dad had to like go get it, bring the kimchi in to get tested. And so, and because they were thinking it was possibly kimchi, Regional Hospital in Anchorage is the only hospital in Alaska, I'm pretty sure this is true, the only hospital in Alaska that had the medicine to help with that.

And so they flew me and my mom to Anchorage to that hospital to get that medicine. ⁓ And then, so my dad stayed at home and then he came up like a couple days later, but I was admitted to the ICU. ⁓ You know, I was being taken care of and they also thought it could have been, I can't remember which one I was getting the plasma for as is for, but.

neuromyelitis optica and then transverse myelitis. They were doing, we were doing plasmapheresis where like it's like where they put a tube in one of, I don't know if it's like your external or internal jugular vein. And they transfer your blood out, they like filter your blood and take out all the bad toxins. And with one of those, it's either neuromyelitis optica or transverse myelitis.

One of those, it's supposed to help with that, like help improve. We don't think that that worked, because I didn't have that. Or we don't think that I had that. But it was like the second day in the ICU, and that was the first time we saw improvement. There was like very little improvement. Like I could wiggle my big toe. Barely. It was just like such... Because there's nothing. Like you were completely...

paralyzed from chest down. So that's an interesting point to make is that you're like, I don't know if I'll ever be able to move my limbs again. So it was the second day in the ICU at regional? It the second or third day, yeah. That you were able to wiggle a Wiggle my toe, yes. I have a video of it. It was the biggest hope, just like, oh my gosh. Wow, I may actually have.

Oh my gosh. Yeah. And then, so when did they realize that the botulism thing might not be what it was? Yeah, I think that just the tests came in and it was negative, which I'm glad it was negative because I poured my heart and soul into that kimchi and it was really good. And so, so I'm glad it wasn't my kimchi. We did throw it away sadly, just because I don't know, like had connection to trauma.

I I I don't know. ⁓ And everybody was scared of possibly getting botulism, I guess, even though it tested negative. They're like, we're not taking any chances. chances, yeah. And so I think the tests came in and they were able to rule that out. ⁓ But the others, they weren't able to them out so easily. they, yeah, it kind of took a while. Yeah. Yeah. And so I imagine specialists and these doctors and everyone's just kind of like, what?

is going on. You've had every test that you can have and nobody is quite certain what happened. so from, even from regional, you ended up going somewhere else, right? So what did, what was kind of the consensus when you were at regional on what was going on and then their next steps for you? Yeah. So regional, we kind of just, mean,

We kind of just put a hold on it. We don't know what this is. So we're just gonna focus on improving for right now. We're just gonna focus on improving and giving you the best care that we can give you, I don't think that they really... Regional wasn't a very nice place to be. They weren't as ⁓ helpful as think that Providence would have been. ⁓

Yeah, so we spent like, I think it was a little less than a month in the hospital. And like my vitals were really bad. My heart rate was like, I got to the 30s actually, which is not good. And my blood pressure, I think when I was sick, because I got sick from like UTIs and stuff, it was like 70 or 40, my blood pressure. And it wasn't much better when I wasn't sick.

Which actually, because of that, I passed out and I had to, I think my heart stopped for like 10 seconds. I can't remember what it's exactly called, but I had to get a pacemaker put in. ⁓ And yeah, around February, around kind of, I think it was after Valentine's Day, we ended up leaving regional and went to U-Dub in Seattle, Washington. So we went to that hospital and inpatient therapy.

So beyond just the paralysis, you were having all this like physiological stuff going on. Blood pressure tanking, heart rate being out of whack. Yeah, and it's hard like when you can't go to physical therapy because your blood pressure's so bad. Like I can't sit up without having to like adapt for five minutes. Could you sit up on your own while you're in regional? Yeah, so I guess starting from when I could wiggle my toe to.

when we left, like I had been improving gradually throughout that time. I wasn't, I ended up getting to the place where I could stand up and I could walk barely with help, with a lot of help. But for the most of the time I was just, you know, stuck in bed, I was bedridden. And I...

you I had improvement in my leg and I could wiggle it and the next day I was able to, you know, move my other leg a little bit better and then the next day I could lift it up just a tiny bit. Like it was just such slow improvement. But I was like, I was working really hard to improve as much as I could just because I really wanted to like get out of bed. Yeah, I can imagine. Nearly a month and then even longer because you left, you ended up going to Washington after that.

What's your mindset during that time? Like you're already experiencing something that you like have no idea why it happened and then you're not really getting any answers. Like what keeps you going in those times when you look back? I think my, well I definitely think my parents like played a huge role in my mindset or just how I guess good you could say I guess. My mindset was ⁓ like they,

waited on me hand and foot. They were like my servants. ⁓ So they were like huge help. I, they, you know, went and got me food. Like I refused to eat the hospital foods. I was constantly eating like tomatoes and red bell peppers and berries and ⁓ all the, guess, I don't know, my body was craving like, I don't know, vitamins or something. ⁓ But. Hospital food for like a day is rough enough. Let alone like a month. My mom tried to get me to eat.

protein jello from the cafeteria. It tasted horrible. It's like one of the worst things I've ever tasted. It is so bad. It is horrible. I refuse to eat it. But, and yeah, like every single night, the CNAs weren't really doing their job and they weren't turning me every two hours, which you're supposed to, so you don't get bed sores. They weren't doing that. And so my parents had to get up every two hours and turn me onto my other side, which was,

sure so tiring for them. And just like the mental toll of being in a room, a little room. Like for almost pretty much a month. that's just, I mean the room was really small and we were in there for a long time. So it was, they really helped with my mental, you know, with my mental health. And then also I think just keeping busy helped.

Like all the support, well, all the support, community support, family, friends, people I didn't even know, ⁓ that they were so encouraging and that really helped. And then, like I said, staying busy, like watching my 600 pound life, which I looked forward to watching. ⁓ We did a lot of therapy and just talking with doctors and nurses, like making friends with them and actually talking about something fun instead of, you know.

Just medical stuff. Yeah. At some point a Facebook page or group started called Notes for Clare, which was really cool. I don't know who started that. Do you remember? ⁓ I want to say...

Um, cause I don't know if there was an author. think it was my parents. I want to it was my parents just saying like, you know, can you pray for us please? And then it kind of just like transpired to, oh, we'll post updates and then people joined and you know what I mean? That's when I, like I said before, I kind of came into this whole story at that point. Yeah. Because I had recently started working at the urgent care kind of intersected with, um,

a family friend of yours. And then I already kind of knew your mom a little bit, but then just working in the urgent care setting, you just get to get to know people a lot more and realize that there's this whole friend group that's like been hanging out forever and just really tight, really close. And

My perspective with that was just, I was just blown away by one, the amount of support that you had, but then two, watching your progress, like knowing this crazy situation happened with all these question marks, and then watching your response to it, which was pretty optimistic, pretty like, I'm super excited about this toe that I can move today, and like genuinely just, you were bright and.

optimistic and just this resilience kind of exuded from you. And I'm putting myself in your shoes and I'm like, I don't know if I could like, I don't know if I could be that optimistic about the situation, especially because of the question marks surrounding it. But as I looked at the way that you were progressing and even with the small little victories, it seemed like your attitude wasn't like, why did this happen? It was.

Like what's the next thing that I can achieve? What's the next step that I could take? And that is a special perspective to have and direction to have. And so very encouraging for me. And I'm sure all those people in that group were like rooting for you, but then also doing a little self-examination on their own lives to be like, would I respond the same way if I was put in that situation? So cool. Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that.

So still all these question marks kind of surrounding you. You've made some progress from when you first got to regional and then they were like, we're gonna send you over to inpatient rehab. You wanna talk about that experience? So ⁓ I guess maybe going back to, yeah, so I was transferred to UW in Seattle and ⁓ that was around Valentine's Day and I started.

Started physical therapy, but at the time I got I think I got a UTI and so I would I got kind of sick like really sick and I Started regressing so at that point like I was able to stand out my mom would like hug me basically Hug me and then we could stand up together. Okay, and kind of like walk just a little bit she had to hold most my weight, but ⁓ I Started regressing because of

I was just getting sick from the UTI. And so that was really discouraging, or not encouraging, I guess. ⁓ So I want to say it was about a week later I started improving and we were doing, I think it's physical therapy or OT three times a day in all. It was three times a day. it like being in a little room for so long, feels like a prison. ⁓

So that was kind of hard. I feel like I had a harder time in patient rehab than I did in Alaska. I started, there was, I guess there was one day, which I guess maybe let me go back to Alaska Regional Hospital. It was really weird because I was constantly improving little by little. But there was this one day we had family friends visiting us me in the hospital.

and they were talking to my parents and I'm just moving my leg, moving it back and forth, doing whatever I can. And then I suddenly am just able to flex my abdomen and flex my legs and flex my butt. And it was just like all of sudden I could do that. And so it was just like, whoa, this is awesome. I've never been so happy to flex my glutes in my life.

⁓ So that was super encouraging and like just a huge, ⁓ just gave so much hope, you know? ⁓ And that kind of also happened, guess, yeah, going back to Seattle, that happened in the hospital. was doing physical therapy. I was doing this really hard at the time workout, I guess.

which was basically just walking around. had a ⁓ walker and it took work to stand up. It's like you've done 10 reps of a really heavy weight and you know how it's hard to stand up. You're working to stand up and you just need to sit down. It kind of felt like that. So was walking around with my walker and the physical therapist is behind me and helps me when I'm tired and stuff. ⁓ Later that day, I suddenly just felt like, ⁓

I think, like, I don't know, something's changed. Like, I think I can walk. I was able, just after that, I was able to not walk perfectly, obviously, like I was still very weak, but I was able to stand without it being a tremendous amount of work. Which was honestly a miracle. Like, it was just, yeah, I gave so much hope again. So I was just like, you know, bebopping around, walking around on my walker, and it was that.

Like just being able to walk is so like, I don't know, it's awesome. Yeah. You know? We didn't really talk about this, but how old were you, Clare, when all this went on? I was 18. You were 18 years old. Yeah. So my birthday is in April. So I was 18 and I was turning 19 that following April. Wow. Yeah. I know. I am so weird. It's been two years. Yeah. A little over two years, I think. Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

Just the thought of, the appreciation for walking, you being in a walk, usually by the time you're using a walker, you know, you're, you're really advanced in age and you remember the times where it was easy to walk. You, yeah, just to be, have that appreciation so young. It is really cool to hear how those, it's like, it's a slow crawl and you have these moments of like, you reached a new finish line. It's almost like you're,

the innervation or however it was working coming back was like we reached a new milestone and then it was like, hey, cool, we got to this level now. You you reached another percent of improvement. And it's cool that those noticeable markers like that, I don't guess I would have thought that that was how it would work out, but that's really cool. Yeah. And it really helped, ⁓ like my mom and I would, she'd wheel me around the hospital and we'd go, the first time I went outside, it was like entering heaven. Like it was.

It was so, I was just so happy. I was touching this tree and I'm just like, I've never touched a tree before. I'm like, this is amazing. I grabbed a pine cone, pretty sure I brought it with me into the hospital, because I was just so happy. Was this in Alaska still or in Washington? No, this was in Seattle. Okay. Yeah, because I hadn't been outside other than when they transferred me from the EMS to the airport or wherever. ⁓

⁓ But, like to transfer me to UW. But, ⁓ yeah, going outside was so nice. So nice. And then when my dad came up to visit, you're not supposed to go outside of hospital grounds, know? But there was this place across from the hospital, across the road, ⁓ that you could walk and there's like a pond and stuff. ⁓ my mom, dad and I all snuck out.

and went and just, know, I know exactly, yeah, seriously. Me with my walker, my like, know, granny walker. I'm like walking and we went and fed some ducks that we weren't supposed to feed and some birds and it was awesome. It was really nice, yeah. And how long was that you were there in Washington? ⁓ I think around three weeks, I wanna say. Yeah, which felt like forever. bet. Like a long time. ⁓ It's really funny, so they have a board.

and you can write on it. There's questions, like discharge date, when you arrived, what date it is. Yeah, exactly. Has all the smiley faces on it. And ⁓ I was so ready to just go. I'm pretty sure I kept bringing this up, like when am gonna leave, telling the doctors and stuff. And when my dad came and visited, ⁓ we wrote on the board, well not me, but he wrote partly for me, the discharge date, we wrote.

like we would write tomorrow or immediately. the doctors would look at it and like laugh. It was just like little things like that. Hoping to catch somebody slipping and like, I guess you're leaving today or tomorrow. Yeah. But I guess that goes to like how like keeping the ⁓ environment just very light and not taking things too seriously, like joking around like that really helped with my like mental health. Yeah. Yeah. I have to again, just coming back to like

that, I mean, just the fact that holding a pine cone can bring so much joy to your life, because you don't know, I guess, what it's like until you've done it, of being in a hospital bed for months at a time, and just the little things, and especially just struggling to regain function of your body again in the middle of all that. Yeah, there's a lot of things that could get you down. What role do you think your faith played?

In those times? it was a huge like probably one of the most like foundational things that I could have done there like it ⁓ God really was there through the whole thing And I don't know why he allowed this to happen but I know that ⁓ you know, he has given me back a lot of what I lost and I you know trust that he is good. I trust that he is a good god and he

is just and that something good will come out of this. Whether I know that or anybody else knows what it is or not, like, you know, I don't know what's going on behind the scenes. Yeah. You know, so it was, yeah, it was one of the most important things. Do you feel like it was an, it took your relationship with God to a different level or deeper level? Yeah, I would say, I would say I had, you know, I was a believer before and I,

you know, I really had a good relationship with him even before, yeah, ⁓ having something taken away from you that you love, like for me, like music, and then also the ability, like the ability to walk and to use my hands, it just, it really tests you. just having that trust is, ⁓ you know, it tests, it...

Like I said, tests you and just trusting that he is, you know, he's doing what he needs to do. And I don't know why, but he's good. And yeah, you could have taken a different attitude and you could have like been shaking your fist at the sky. Many people may have done that or are doing that now based on scenarios they faced in their life. And, but to, lean into it, I think is one very mature on your, on your end, but also

At least there's an opportunity, I feel like there's, I think there's always an opportunity for hope and grace. God is very graceful with us. to lean into that is huge. And I could see it being a resource for you for hope and finding the brightness and hope in all of And I did question, why is this happening to me? This doesn't seem fair.

Like it doesn't make any sense. This just randomly happens to a healthy 18 year old girl. ⁓ And I don't think that that's wrong. I think it's good to question. I think it grows your relationship with God. ⁓ And yeah, At what point are those specialists or doctors in Washington like, okay, I guess you can go home now.

Do they leave you with any, did you get any answers at that point? Or were they like, go ahead and go, but you're good enough to go back home. We'll keep doing testing and rehab and see how this progresses. Like what was the attitude with them finally coming around to releasing you back to home? ⁓ I don't think that they had any answers. ⁓ I mean, just cause it's so complicated, just they take, like testing takes a long time and I don't know. I think it was just.

really complicated to obviously to get an answer because we still don't have like a definitive answer. ⁓ But they, I was walking at the time like I said I was my dad came because they gave us I think I had like a week or two weeks like they told us like okay you can leave at this time like this date ⁓ and you know they were just you know going through the process of making sure that our house was

disabled friendly, which, Yeah, like you could say that, ⁓ but like we don't have any railings on our stairs. I mean, there are two walls on each side. ⁓ We have a bridge in our house that doesn't have any railings. Like you could fall like 10 feet and you you're gonna hurt yourself. I did not walk across the bridge, but thankfully my room is not across there. ⁓

Yeah, so they were just kind of going through that process and yeah, I was really excited to get home. I bet. I'm so excited. What was that like coming back? It was so nice. It was really nice. I remember ⁓ getting home from, well, was, the Kenai airport, you know, ⁓ flew into the Kenai airport and got off the plane and I can kind of, like, it's hard to walk, but I can kind of walk a little bit. And I remember getting in the car and

Like I couldn't buckle my seatbelt just because my hands were just like, they were just there. Like they weren't attributing anything to, you know what mean? ⁓ getting home was so nice. And I was determined, my room is on the second floor. My parents' room is on the first floor. And we were gonna switch rooms. Like I was just gonna sleep in my parents' room and my mom or dad were gonna sleep in.

of my room, ⁓ but I was determined to not let that happen. I wanted to get to my room. And I was able, like I could walk up the stairs strangely. like had a way easier time walking up the stairs than I thought I was going to have. ⁓ So coming down the stairs was a little bit questionable. had to scoot down just because I was scared I was going to fall or something, but I slept in my bed. ⁓

We had, one of my parents would sleep with me, like my mom or my dad. Usually it was my dad, because my mom's back was hurting because of my bed or something. But, ⁓ which he's a very, like, he, like the covers are just like destroyed, like everything's off the bed. And I'm just like, dad, you need to stay still when you're sleeping, please. But yeah, other than that, was, yeah, I was able to sleep in my own room. It was so nice to be home, just, you know, just for recovery, mental health, it was just so good.

So you're back home now and like we talked about before, you had been applying to, you're trying to go to college. trying to go, you you are singing and playing musical instruments. And now you find yourself in this position of like not being able to do what you were doing just a few months prior. what...

What's going through your head as far as like what the future holds for you at that point? Yeah, so I guess like going back to again, So spring semester, no sorry, January, I was applying because I wasn't ready. I applied for all these colleges, Berkeley included. I didn't get the scholarship I wanted and I didn't feel ready to go to college. So I decided to apply for fall. ⁓

Berkeley was the only school that I was able to, or that I had to apply on Zoom. So I applied on Zoom like the 22nd. At the time I had neck pain. Two days after I applied to Berkeley, I had the stroke, the spinal cord stroke. And ⁓ that was one of the only colleges I could apply for. Like our trip to, in February, to all the other colleges to audition was canceled. So.

And I didn't realize this until after, like guess, like thinking back, I'm like, ⁓ that was crazy two days before. ⁓ And so I received my acceptance letter in the hospital. And then also that I received a full ride to Berkeley, which was like, my gosh, wait, this is awesome. And at the time I was just starting to sit up. Like I couldn't balance my.

parents had to hold me or I had to put my arms out just to, so I didn't fall over. I couldn't stand. couldn't do so many things. was just, I was still bedridden. I could just sit up. And my leg, I would let it hang off the bed and then I would have to get momentum to bring it back on the bed. yeah, I was very disabled at the time.

and you're looking at an acceptance letter yeah i yeah i was like my dad came in the room i was like dad guess what i told him and then we signed the declaration of intent that day i had no doubt in my mind that i was going

I also was talking to my mom. looking at, I was trying to do stuff on the computer with my little nubs, the fingers, you ⁓ And I was looking at all this Berkeley stuff and like, what do I need for college? And I was just so excited and I kept talking to my mom. I kept telling her, if I have a leg limp or a limp in my leg or if my fingers don't work, which one would I prefer? Let me think.

I think I prefer a limp in my leg, because then I could use my hands ⁓ or vice versa. like, no, actually, I think I'd prefer to walk normally and not use my hands. I'd go back and forth. my gosh, playing these scenarios. can't even stand at this point. Or even my fingers aren't working at this point. I'm going to go to Berkeley. I'm so determined. ⁓ And my mom, I think at the time, was thinking,

how am I going to live in Boston and Alaska and work and take care of my siblings? Like how am gonna do all that? ⁓ Which I ended up being able to live independently in college which is just such a blessing. ⁓ So that was my whole college acceptance thing. ⁓ So I was going to go that fall. This is in like.

February and I can't walk and I'm determined to go that August to Berkeley. Did your parents ever be like, hey Clare, you wanna like maybe think about this a little bit? mean, thinking about like if I was, my daughter someday to send her off to college would be hard enough as it is. Especially just growing up here, all you know is Alaska. You're going all the way across the United States for the first time to live by yourself. Oh, and you have this like,

spinal stroke that's completely changed your life, but you're still figuring out what the new norm is for you. I feel like I might have been like, are you sure? Are you sure you wanna do this? Do they have that talk with you at all? Or was there no doubt that this is what you were gonna go do? I don't think so. I think that they were in full support, and ⁓ if they did tell me that, I would have just told them to leave.

Not really, but like I would say, no, I'm gonna go. It's like, trust, trust me. Yeah. So I think that they were trying to keep, you know, a positive environment and they were, you know, I had this big dream, know, dream, it kind of sounds cringy, but it's a big dream. We talked about in the beginning of this, just, mean, music and performing and writing music and playing instruments was a huge part of your life. And so,

That's still the case. This whole thing did not change that at any point in time. And I think it's cool that they encouraged that momentum forward. Yeah, yeah. And honestly, was, ⁓ like because of the spinal stroke, had... ⁓

bowel and bladder function like completely out the window. I, you know, they just stopped working. ⁓ But I was, you know, slowly improving with that. And I was telling my mom, I was like, even if I have to carry my Foley in my backpack, I will do that. Like I will, like I will totally, yes, I was totally committed. I was, yeah, going to go. ⁓ And yeah, there's no doubt in my mind. That's unreal. Yeah. Let's take a break.

All right. So talk to me about that transition to Berkeley. You guys decided this is what's happening, this is where we're going, moving across, the Alaska girls moving across the country to Boston. What was that whole process like? Because if you were to give yourself a percentage of like, 100 % is what you were.

you know, the day before this happened, or the day, yeah, this happened. And you flying off to Boston, where were you at? I would say like 50%. Like I was not, I was not, I was good enough to go, you know? But just like overall strength was just not there. And it honestly is still not there. Like I'm definitely improving, but it's, I'm very...

I think weaker than I look. It doesn't really look like I have any deficiencies, but I definitely do. But my mom and I flew to Connecticut because my great aunt lives there. And we visited her ⁓ for a while. then ⁓ she went with us to help me move into Berkeley dorms. So we moved in and then they left. That was really hard. ⁓

have grown a ton while being like since I've been at Berkeley. I'd say I definitely struggled with obviously different things like not what other people don't struggle with. struggled. ⁓ So like walking long distances or carrying heavy bags I couldn't do. ⁓

bladder and bowel were questionable. would say it was really hard. I was really, really nervous. I would say bladder has kept, it's given me the most anxiety. because if I have to go to the bathroom, I need to go now. I have five seconds, you know what I mean? Or I need to sit down somewhere.

So that was really like I don't have anxiety or anything like you know but that kind of gives me a little anxiety and it's definitely way better but That kind of kept me from you know going places walking with my friends to I don't know wherever you know it always made me really nervous so I Yeah, I Like I have a foot drop

Both feet, but my left is worse, so I'm always tripping. I don't fall a lot, but I mean, I have, but I trip on my foot a lot. The cold, I'm like a bug put into the fridge. You know, like they slow down and they can't fly or whatever. That's me in the cold. I just start slowing down and my hands don't work and then my feet, I'm just like.

You know, I'm very slow and yeah, so it was hard. It was really hard and I had a lot of OT, like occupational therapy for my hands and ⁓ doctor's appointments. I took tons of doctor's appointments. While you were in Boston? While I'm in, yeah, every time, yeah, while I'm in Boston. ⁓ But I, you know, I've had a great three semesters so far and I'm excited. I know it'll...

I'm challenged with certain things physically, but like not being able to play the instrument or my instruments that I like to play or not being able to play them as well. But I think it's pushing me to grow in other areas, which is really awesome. I'm just adapting, I think, and you know, finding ways around things and you know, it makes it more special what I'm doing more special. Totally, totally.

I think I remember a story of your mom telling me just like one of the more simple things of like the key to your room trying to figure out a way that you can like open or lock the door. can't remember what it was or was it opening the door? it's just opening the door. Like you always have to open a lock to get into your room. The key is like a normal key. I can't grab it with my thumb and turn it because my thumb is like really atrophied. My fingers are just like really not strong at all.

And it hurts when I put it in between my pointer and my middle finger, like hurts it. And so we grabbed, I think we grabbed like a bag tag, like one of those plastic, ⁓ you know, and we cut like a groove for the key to go in and then we taped it. And so I could hold it in between my middle and pointer finger and turn it and it hurt me. My dad did this last semester, we found these huge paper clips.

And so we put it on the end of the key and then wrapped it in duct tape. And so I was like, really weird looking key on my key chain. Nobody's questioned it, which I'm very surprised. Yeah, like what is that for? Yeah, I don't even think, yeah, they probably just think it's like a little like gadget or something on there. yeah, I don't really use it lot just because we bolt our door. So it's like kind of always open. But.

That's the key situation. Just simple things like that. It's just like, you know, just simple little things that are hard. What, was there any conversation with like the faculty at the school? Like, Hey, so by the way, like I got this acceptance letter when I was like in the hospital, basically barely able to get up, alone walk. What was that? What was that like? So we, we had an appointment with ⁓ accommodations.

the accommodation people and we didn't really have a good experience with them. It was very like she just didn't understand and we weren't getting like the, like we asked for a room that was like right next to the bathroom and I was literally the furthest away from the bathroom. And so every night, like three times a night, I have to go to the bathroom. It's a communal bathroom too and so I have to like

You know, it's really not that far, but in the middle of the night when you're trying to sleep, it's a long ways, you know? ⁓ And it was more than just that. ⁓ She wasn't very understanding. ⁓ so we ⁓ didn't get along very well. So I kind of just reached out to the professors. I kind of like scrapped the idea of going through accommodations, ⁓ at least for like housing requests and stuff.

Yeah. And just went straight to the teachers. ⁓ I guess we did reach out for like scheduling classes. ⁓ I got the earliest schedule time because I explained I have a ton of doctor's appointments and I need to schedule around those appointments. Yeah. And so I did go through accommodations for that, but I just try to ⁓ deal with it myself.

And if I have to, I'll reach out to the professors and deal with with them. Usually they're okay with it. What's the expectation in when you go to a college or school of music, you had to do these auditions just to get in, right? And then you show up, are they like, here, play this instrument or you're going to sing. And like, we haven't even really talked about like what, you know, your diaphragm is.

it's considered a muscle, right? So your diaphragm's a muscle and it's probably regaining function just like the rest of you is, right? So what was the, was there any like fear there? Like, what if I can't do what they expect me to do? Or what if I can't perform like they want me to? So when you go into Berkeley, the instrument that you auditioned with, you have to take four semesters of private instruction. ⁓

And then other than that, can do any major you want. can do anything you want. ⁓ You take a test before your classes start and you're placed in the correct level. You know, the one that you tested into basically. And ⁓ so we're not just like randomly placed or anything like that. let me think, diaphragm. When I was in private instruction,

My, I really love my private instructor, my voice teacher. She was really understanding and I had to like hold the bottom of my chair. ⁓ Cause when you put like pressure, when you like push against something, you can strengthen like your core strength was like, you know, can increase. exactly. So I had to like hold the bottom of my chair and she let me sit down while singing and I like slowly have been progressing and I've definitely gotten way better than when I started with her.

And so that's kind of ⁓ where I was at with singing. ⁓ also what was helpful was Berklee. I was classically trained. So that takes a lot of support. But Berklee is primarily a jazz school. And so you don't use the same, I mean, you use the same muscles, but in a different way for like jazz or folk or pop or whatever genre it is, you use it differently. So I would say my...

Classical training prepared me well because I had all of the tech, like I'm, you know, all the techniques are just ingrained and they just like, I naturally do it. ⁓ And I know what's correct and what doesn't feel right. ⁓ the other genres don't require, at least I don't think they require as much ⁓ support, you know? So that has been really helpful, like not having to sing heavy opera.

and I can just do a jazz song or something. We're required to do a jazz song. So yeah, I think that's also something that's really cool about Berkeley. What was your, I guess, expectation of what to go to a school like that would entail? And then the reality of it? ⁓ Is it as demanding as you thought it would be? Do you have more?

⁓ freedom to create things and utilize things. Yeah. No, I can't really remember what I was expecting to be honest. I... mean, to be fair, you had a lot going on. I was kind of focused about... wasn't really focused. I mean, I was really excited to go and I was like thinking about a lot, but I don't remember exactly what I was expecting when I got there. ⁓

you know, I knew I was going to do a lot of music, yeah. Was it cool to have other people like from around the country that were as passionate or, I don't know, maybe less passionate. don't know. Like what was your experience? Like when you think about, I'm going to have all these people from all over the place come to this, this one location that have

as big of a love for music as I do. Did you feel that? Like these are my people? Yeah, I, yes and no. ⁓ I would say I have different, maybe different beliefs and different values, ⁓ like perspective than a lot of the people there just because it's a very artsy school. ⁓ So I think I definitely did find my people and I actually more so found them this year than I had.

than I did last year. Last year was kind of like, you know, figuring it out, you know, testing the waters. And, you know, I was trying to get ingrained in like, have community, go to church and go to life group and I was going to like other schools clubs. I was like in their group chats. I don't know how I got in their group chats, but I just am. And so I was really trying to like reach out and step out of my comfort zone.

This year I've found a lot more people at Berklee who are like-minded, which has been really helpful. But it is really cool seeing, ⁓ or it's really cool being at a gathering place for all of these people of different backgrounds and cultures and places that I've never been. Just like the music, their way of life, it's just all so interesting and I think it's... ⁓

really cool and you learn a lot from them. What has your experience been like just living in Boston? Not being in Alaska, know, well, we have like 60,000 people maybe on the entire peninsula, you know, let alone going to a giant city like Boston and then like everything that entails. What was that like? Public transportation, all that stuff. I definitely miss driving when I go there.

I'm not a huge fan of public transportation, like the T ⁓ or bus. I mean, it's fine. It's just a lot more work to get places. ⁓ And then also I have learned that you can almost never be alone, especially if you have a roommate. There's like, can never, unless you're in like the bathroom or like, I can't even think of anywhere else you could be alone. Like it's just so hard. ⁓

And I don't need a lot of alone time, but it is nice to have a room to yourself. Get away from everybody. ⁓ those two things I think are things that came as a shock. I didn't really expect that, I guess. ⁓ Living in the city, I mean, it's fine. It's a really nice part of town. It's really expensive there. think it's one of the most expensive.

places to be in Boston. ⁓ I mean, yeah, the architecture is really cool. There's a lot of brick, a lot of cool buildings. Yeah, exactly. It's pretty clean, I'd say. ⁓ I mean, if I was to live in a city, I'd choose Boston over a lot of other places. places, yeah, other options. Yeah, but I definitely prefer Alaska. Yeah. So what is your...

major, what is your focus when it comes to what you're doing there? So ⁓ my original plan was to do professional music, which is a make your own major. You get to have up to three concentrations. And I was just going to do that. I was going to just try to do as many as much as I could. I came in with a ton of transfer credits and then I also tested out of some classes. So I had a lot of room. Cool.

One of my concentrations was film and media scoring, which is like making music for film. And I was like, I'm really interested in this. Why don't I just make it a major? So I'm double majoring. I'm doing film and media scoring. And then I'm doing professional music with a concentration in songwriting, composition. And ⁓ I think I'm going to add CWP, which is Contemporary Writing and Production. So it's like focusing on composing, arranging, and the production side of it as well. ⁓

So I think I'm gonna add that. ⁓ And then I can, you know, I have a little bit extra room, I think. I can add like, I'd like to take this class. Like, I'm just trying to do as much as I can while I'm there because I'm never gonna get this time back and opportunity back. Yeah, exactly. So, ⁓ yeah, so I'm just trying to like fill my, you know, a little bit of pain for a little bit of stress is gonna be okay. I've dealt with harder things in my life.

So, yeah, so I'm just trying to do as much as I can while I'm there and have the opportunity.

do you think you've been given more resources to expand what you're capable of there? Definitely, yeah. Either through knowledge or just through the resources that are available to you there through the school? is definitely not the place to be if you want to pursue music. It's not the place at all to be. Yeah, Berkeley has definitely opened up a lot of opportunities and I think will continue to do so. I really want to try to get more into the, I kind of had the mindset

while in Berkeley, was like, you know, if I don't feel ready to release music or if I don't feel ready to do all these things, then I don't think that I have to, like I want to feel ready to do them. But I think recently I've come to the realization, mainly because of Anderson, that I'm never gonna be ready to, I'm never gonna have the perfect song or it's never gonna be like perfectly mixed or produced or you know, ⁓ that's just not.

⁓ Ideal like that's just not what it's going to be. So I Think i'm going to try to release some songs this year. I'm to try to you know, ⁓ kind of integrate myself more into like creating at berkeley and try to Make opportunities for myself instead of letting them come to me. I'm gonna I need to like, you know Break down some doors. Yeah, you know, ⁓ so That's I think

what I've been trying to do since this year. Yeah. think it's cool because when I reached out to you, you're like, asked you, you is it, have social media and you're like, well, I kind of have an Instagram, but there's like, you're like, just kind of keep to myself, like, which sometimes you get people that are into music and it's almost the opposite. They want to be out in the

know, performing and, know, I want to be the next Taylor Swift yesterday. And I want everyone to know that. And they take that approach to where they're creating nonstop, right? I think it's really cool and really unique that you've taken a different approach and have your development. You already have the talent and the skill and we're going to kind of get into some of the stuff that you've been working on while you've just been at school. ⁓ But you're

You're kind of building this different.

just going about it in different comes to mind is different brand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I get what saying. I think it's cool the approach that you're taking with music. It's not just your traditional performer that you're going to maybe see at a concert or on the radio, but you're looking into cinema and bigger. We'll get into some of stuff that you do. it's like, the stuff that you have created, it's...

It's like epic. It has an epic feel to it. it puts, every time I listen to it, I've told your mom this many times, it puts me in a moment just by listening to it. I feel like that's kind of what you're after. you're making music for cinema and for the big screen and all those different, but it's because you, I think are growing as a songwriter and as a composer and.

your brain works differently to be able to put all of that together, which has been really cool. No, that's like the cool thing about me going to Berklee is, because I'm classically trained, I love orchestral writing. Like I just love the orchestra. ⁓ And like I said, Berklee is mainly like jazz and...

not classical. They're partnered with Boston Conservatory at Berklee. So it's more of the classical side. ⁓ But I knew if I went to the conservatory, I was not going to like it. ⁓ And so me being at Berklee, jazz, predominantly jazz school, coming in with making these classical... And I've kind of stepped it more into my element.

I'm not gonna do what everyone else does. I like this thing that's different than a lot of people here at Berkeley, so I'm gonna just put my all into it. You know what I mean? It's cool. I don't know if it makes me stand out, but it's different, I think, than what professors don't generally hear this stuff from their students. So guess it makes me stand out in a way. And I love doing it. I've been given the resources.

beginning to thrive. Yeah, for sure. So I want to get into some of the stuff that you've ⁓ been creating over here. These are just what you sent me. These are just like assignments, right? Yeah. And like these songs need some fixing. Like I, they need a little work, but yeah. For the layman, I'm sure. I mean, as a creator, as an artist, as a musician, I totally understand that sentiment. ⁓ But as my listeners will hear right now, this stuff is pretty, pretty awesome.

Tell me what like, so some of these were assignments. ⁓ What is like, I guess, a generalization of like a professor may give you with some guidelines and then how much creative freedom do you have to be able to create? So for most of my classes, I don't have total freedom. For a lot of my classes, ⁓ we learn something and then we're given like a project or an assignment and we have to apply what we learned to the assignment or project.

⁓ So usually there are restrictions ⁓ or like you have to include this but you can do whatever you want ⁓ And so that's kind of how it is with most of my classes ⁓ I did take a Pro Tools course, is like a software for making music and we were learning how to like edit vocals and Like what how to add reverb and how to do all these things and so I was given total like

do whatever you want is just the editing part that you need. You know what mean? And so that's honestly where I created a lot of my projects. was just like, you know, like letting me run wild. you know, which was so fun. really, ⁓ it made me really more like a lot more passionate and a lot more like really excited to make a project instead of just like, I have to do this project. I just, you know, I have to do this.

bare minimum amount of effort in. yeah, it makes me just go all in. For sure. And it comes through. It comes through in what you're putting out. So let's get into it. We'll put on the headphones. This first one, I'm just going to, if you want to say something, can kind of give some commentary on it if you want. If you want us just to enjoy and listen, we'll do that. We'll play a little bit of a couple of these. Okay? Yeah. Sounds good.

Epic. Thank you. Like, seriously, seriously, yeah. I, I, I, so many different, I listen to that and what it makes you feel can be just placed in so many different types of like scenarios, scenes, emotions that it draws out. Yeah.

What was the what were the guidelines for that assignment so that was one of my Pro Tools Assignment so I was given total freedom I kind of I was really listening. I was listening to a lot of Hans Zimmer at the time Yes, so I it was inspired by well, it was inspired by Carl Jenkins, you know He does some really cool songs kind of like this and then Hans Zimmer

It's off of The Burning Bush, off of the movie, is it Moses? I okay. ⁓ It's off of The Prince of Egypt. Prince of Egypt, okay. So there's a song called The Burning Bush and ⁓ I was listening to that, was like, ooh, that's really cool. Let me try something like that. I, ⁓ yeah, I just, yeah. Start to finish, that's all you, vocals. Yeah, I did everything. Every piece of that is your composition. And it's, I've always had this, like, I don't know.

I don't know what you'd call it, This saying like, when I compose music, I want to make people cry. A mantra. Yes. That's your mantra. I want to make people cry when I listen Well, good job. So I'm, yeah, hopefully- Because like I said, it hits right in the chest. Oh, and also Clare, you didn't tell us you can sing in other languages. This is in Latin. Thank you, Google Translate. Yeah, I did my best. But it sounds, I mean, I don't speak Latin, but-

I know what good sounds like, you know, and that sounds pretty dang good. Thank you. Yeah. I know I should have worn, and actually I'm glad I didn't warn people that like, yeah. It was a surprise. There's gonna be another if you think you're crazy, you're not crazy. No. It's a different language. in Latin, that is amazing. Yeah. I felt it, that it fit the, I don't know, the vibe, I guess. Yeah. know? I love that one. Yeah, thank you. This is probably one of my favorites.

I love this for sure because it's very, it feels just so big. does have a Hans Zimmer, like this is a big moment. This is a big, lots of emotion, lots of, you know, something big is happening and it hits you right in the chest. And yeah, a little bit longer, man, maybe it would. Let's drop a tear in my eye. So this next one, I do love a lot because there's a lot of, there's two layers to it, at least that.

I, when I listen to it, I really like. ⁓ So let's go ahead and listen to this one

So this one was a drone, is that right? that how you say it? Yeah, the assignment was to, it was one of my songwriting classes and we had to create, well first it was create a melody, only a melody, no other voices, have a drone and create a melody. And then we kind of built off of that for the next assignment and it was add harmony. ⁓

And so I would have never done something like that, but those restrictions, you know, kind of allowed my creativity to conspire. So the beginning portion of that, is that what's considered like the drone part of it? And then the melody? cello. Oh man. So the beginning, when I first listened to that one, I was immediately, I'm a Lord of the Rings nerd. I was like, it very much fit that like.

Have you heard any? Yes. No, that was totally my inspiration. Like Enya, Celtic, like Irish. Yeah. You nailed it. And I even, and that's what's awesome too. So the other, this was in English, but you did capture like that Irish like accent or Scottish. don't know. I don't know. I'm terrible with accents, but you did. It wasn't your obviously normal speaking or singing voice, but yeah, you just like, it sounds like probably exactly how you intended to. Amazing.

So cool. All right, let's do another one. This one, this next one here is another fave of mine. Again, just so big, also in another language. What language is this in? Is this the classical one? Yeah. This is in Italian. Okay. Yeah. And again, nailed it. Sounds so good. Thank you. All right, let's go for it.

So good. Thank you. I don't know if you ever seen the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith. It's an older movie. I don't think so. I think there's a scene in that movie where they're like dancing and it's like kind of intimate but they're angry with one another. And there's like this, I'm remembering if it's this movie or not. I be totally off

It just had kind of intense, a like tension, a little tension. is, there is a little tension with it. And I think that's what it took me to was this like, cause it's like delicate, but it's tense. And I think it took me to that, that movie, that movie scene. Cause that's exactly what that scene was. was like a minor. So that's probably why too. Yeah. ⁓ yeah, I love that one too. That one definitely gave me like a, you think about those, world war two.

⁓ time pieces of like Nazi Germany and like that like again playing on the heartstrings so there you know I could I could definitely feel yeah feel that emotion coming through yeah so yeah thank you with that one do we already talk about what the guidelines were for that ⁓ that one I think that wasn't that one was for my pro tools class as well so I kind of

could do anything. I just had to have a specific amount of voices. Actually one of the requirements was to double the voices, so that's why there's two voices on the chorus, which I don't think I'd pick that if it was my choice, total freedom in Have you sang in Italian before? Yes, with Audra Calloway. have done a lot of Italian pieces.

more familiar with that. Yeah, it sounded so good. Yeah, thank It's so awesome. it seems effortless, at least listening to it. I know you have, I mean, this has been your life in a lot of ways, but knowing what you're doing now based off of what you've just recently come out of the last couple of years of being able to find your voice again and how much piano are you able to play?

now in composing these or are you using it primarily like digitally? Um, so I I can play piano. I have to wear braces to be able to play on certain fingers. I record this into I record I play on a MIDI keyboard. Okay. And so I don't have to play the whole thing through. I can kind of chop it up and just play a little part and then you know like practice the next part and then play it record it and then

you know, keep doing that in sections. So that really helps a lot. ⁓ But I am limited in what I'm able to do. Like certain chords I can't press just because my muscles aren't strong enough or I can't do anything fast or arpeggiating, like going up and down the piano is hard. ⁓ So I'm pretty restricted, but ⁓ I'm making do with what I can do. ⁓ for sure. Yeah, for sure you are. OK, one more. This one's fun. Just coming off the, how about we talk about this one first?

then we'll play it. ⁓ So this is the Whoville. Christmas in Whoville song. what were the guidelines there This was for my ⁓ lyric writing class I think. ⁓ I think the assignment was just, I don't even think that we had, yeah it was a verse refrain. Wait, you know I don't even remember the requirements for this but. ⁓

This was totally unexpected. ⁓ Very unexpected, very unlike what everybody else does. You just play your guitar and sing or piano. ⁓ But yeah, I decided to just, I didn't have a Pro Tools project due that week, so was like, just go all out for my lyric writing, I guess. It was very stressful, it was, yeah, it's fun. Here we go.

I love the voices in this one. Thank you.

So good. Thanks. so good. Dr. Seuss himself is going to be calling you up on that one. Yes. We can ditch the headphones now if you want to. All righty.

So I get these, I still work with your mom and she keeps up to date with all the different assignments that you're working on and she's like, man, you have to listen to this one. And so many times, with a lot of those, I think the first one was a lullaby, the drone, the classical one, I'm just looking out into outer space.

They're just so big and you've done such a good job in trying to evoke that emotion. Yeah, thanks. And having all the different pieces and the way that you compose it. mean, I don't even know all the musical terminology to be able to describe it, but I know how it feels. And I think that's what your intent is. When you were the artist, when you were the master behind ⁓ songwriting and composition.

you're trying to create that for the people that are listening to be able to experience something. if that's the goal, you're nailing it. Yeah, thank you so much. Yeah, thank you. ⁓ So you have kind of adjusted your major while you were over there. So you're kind of working on some, or adding some new ones. there, have you found a new love for any specific area of music or songwriting or composition or instruments or sounds or anything like that from when you first

left. Yeah. I never really thought about going into film and I'm not ⁓ going into, ⁓ like I'm not majoring in film because that's what I want to do when I get out. I think it'd be cool but it's mainly because of the classes that they offer and so ⁓ I am, ⁓ film is something that I didn't really consider beforehand. ⁓

Also, I'm composing a lot more. It really helps to have a deadline for me. Just like you have to get it done whether you want to do it or not by this date. And so it really forces me to work on stuff and to finish songs because finishing is so hard to do with music. You just like, you either don't feel inspired or you're like stuck or you're, know, whatever it is, you just, there's some reason that you didn't finish it. And so having a deadline really helps.

I would say that yeah, the main thing is film. I've also ⁓ really experimented a lot more with other genres, which I didn't really do as much before. it's, I mean, I think I'm gonna pursue some of those, know, make songs in other genres and stuff. I am forced to do that. And so I ⁓ am excited for what that, I don't know, entails for the future, I guess.

⁓ cause your background was like classical, right? And then like you, as a, as a kid, we're like singing opera, right? Like super strong voice and like classical ⁓ music. so do a lot of your classmates just like guitar and, and sing, are they, do you think that there's as much, you kind of admitted with like, especially with this one, like with the Christmas one, you're like, you know what?

just throwing myself, all the tricks for this is the same kind of excitement there or I don't know. I'm trying Like for other people? Yeah. Yeah. I think it depends. It definitely depends on the person. Like there are some people who do not necessarily more, but it feels like more for their music. Like just like producing and stuff like that and mixing and all that stuff. And then some people just, you

They play guitar and they sing and that's just their thing. So there definitely are some people that do stuff like this. I would say mine is more, because I love orchestra, I'm more in the, like, ooh, I like epic, you know what I mean? I like all this different stuff. so, yeah, I think it just depends on the person, I think. So listening to this now.

like some of the stuff that you're creating just in this, you're in school, you're learning, you're growing, ⁓ you're still recovering from this crazy experience that we talked about earlier. I think that's what makes what you're putting out now like that much more like amazing and special and such a gift to be able to create like this, knowing that like all of this was wrapped up inside of you and almost for a second like.

we might not have got this. so realizing just your motivation to continue to press forward and continue to ⁓ not let anything hold you back. were laser focused on getting to this point. And so it's awesome to be able to hear it, just ⁓ a sample of what that could look like, even as someone that's still technically a student. Do ⁓ you recognize that like,

maybe other people might have quit in your position and just thrown in the towel. Do you see that if this were to happen to someone else, they might have been like, you know what, I'm just gonna throw in the towel, maybe that wasn't in the plans for me. Yeah, I actually have been thinking about this question and this one's kind of hard just because I don't know, I mean, I don't know a ton of disabled people or people who have been in my position. ⁓ The guy I met,

I don't think I said this on here, but I met a guy in Texas. Yeah, yeah, go ahead. If you want to talk about that, you met someone that was kind of in a similar spot as you. So we were in Texas for spring break and ⁓ we went to a rodeo and these people next to us were taking a selfie and my mom and I photo bombed. We're like, you know, making funny faces or whatever. And they started laughing and they said we got to talking. The people behind us to they were older. ⁓

They started also talking to us as well and the more we talked, they mentioned that he, the man, he had had a spinal cord stroke. He broke his back and I think he fell off of a ladder, I want to say. And he broke his back at C6, which is very similar to where I had my injury. Mine was C4 to T2, I believe.

but he lost a lot of the same things that I lost. honestly, I have improved more than he has even in this short amount of time. But he was telling me, you know, we were like trauma bonding. It's so nice to find somebody that you can relate to and who has gone through like a similar experience. ⁓ And so we were talking and I was asking him all these questions about like...

did you lose this muscle? Like, has it come back yet? Like, what are you still able to do? And all this stuff. he ⁓ was telling me how he like was determined to improve. He woke up at 4.30, I think every single day. He had a personal trainer. He was, you know, this scrawny dude and a huge t-shirt like in the gym and all these like big muscly guys were helping him like workout and all this stuff. And I was just thinking like, he just worked so hard.

So I think like a lot of times, ⁓ at least from the people that I know, I guess it depends on the person, but ⁓ in mine and his case, we didn't quit. And ⁓ if we did, I would have probably had to eventually quit quitting, if that makes sense, just to improve my quality of life. My mom was...

in the hospital the other day and she was, she saw this guy that had transverse myelitis, which is something that they thought that I had. And he was saying how he was just so depressed in the hospital and he just gave up, like he refused to accept any help. No physical therapy, no OT, like no nothing. And now he's better, but he's not fully recovered. Like he's in a wheelchair and he realizes now that he missed his window of improvement and his quality of life has gone down.

Now he's trying to improve his quality of life. He's trying to get back on his feet and all of that, but ⁓ it can really affect your life in a negative way. And so I think it goes both ways. It just depends on the person. ⁓ Wow. What would you say to someone that is, let's say they're on day one after the spinal stroke for you and you're sitting in a hospital bed.

on day one, not knowing all these hopes and dreams you had for your life and not knowing what the future holds. What is your advice to that person that might find themselves in a similar position?

I would say for me, ⁓ something that was just really foundational was just trusting in God and ⁓ knowing that he was gonna do whatever he was gonna do. And I had no control over that and I am only human. I can only understand so much. There's probably a lot going on behind the scenes that I don't know about. And so just trusting that ⁓ good was gonna come out of it regardless of if I or anybody else saw it or not. ⁓

That was something that really was important, probably the most important thing. I've been kind of thinking about this, I love to play instruments, I love to join the orchestra and band and all of that, and maybe if I didn't have, if I was totally fine, I would have joined the orchestra or whatever in clubs in college and maybe.

he didn't want me to focus so much on that. Maybe he wanted to redirect my focus and help me improve in another area. ⁓ And so just like the reason I don't know, knowing that he is good and he is just and ⁓ it's all gonna be okay ⁓ is really important. Also another thing I would say is ⁓ to take control of your emotions and your reactions to the situation is also really important just because it can like

completely change everything. I think it can even change the way that doctors treat you and help you, just whether it's subconscious or not. Being kind and grateful and just thanking them for helping you. Basically becoming friends with your doctors can really, you become somebody that they want to help and you're not a person that they need to help.

they want to help, you know? It changes the atmosphere for sure. Exactly, it changes, yeah, everything around you, like the way, yeah, just, I think it's really important to ⁓ take control of your emotions. That's great, great advice. And I like what you said that God's gonna do what he's gonna do. to let him do that, because I think the frustration could come when you're like, You're not in control. Yeah. Yeah. And you're trying to.

to get in control. to control the boat. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. And that can just make it more frustrating. Exactly. Again, super mature for you to realize that, Clare Henry, at such a young age and teaching. I know many, many people around you feel the same way. We have lot to learn from your attitude and your perspective on life. Yeah, thank you. Super cool.

So what are you most, looking back on the last two years, what are you the most proud of as you reflect on just the last couple years on what happened to where you're at now? I guess, I don't know, I'm really proud of the community that we have on the Kenai Peninsula. It's just been like a huge support, so much encouragement.

I'm really proud to be ⁓ surrounded and a part of that, or and part of that. ⁓ I would also say...

Not like tooting my own horn, but I am proud of myself for pushing on. In the words of Snoop Dogg, I would like to thank me. Yes, exactly. ⁓ my gosh. No, yeah, I would like to thank me. I am very proud of how hard I worked and how hard I am working, continuing to work. ⁓ And then, yeah, I'm really grateful for my parents. Like, I would not be here where I am. Like, I would not have as much.

or have had as much improvement if it wasn't for them. That's awesome. Yeah, I think I've seen just working in healthcare, you have scenarios where you have these difficult things that happen to people, like kids specifically, and then it can go either way. You either have parents,

that absolutely step up and it's almost like they were created to be the support for this child. And then you have the opposite of like you have someone that really needs somebody and they don't have that. And it can go one of two ways. I've seen it both and to see what you have with your parents is awesome. Huge blessing. think that they were specifically chosen to be my parents for this reason. Totally.

This question seems silly now that I just have talked with you and got to hear from you yourself, but does your experience change how you define what is possible? ⁓ I don't think that it changes what I define or what I would define or what is possible. I would say maybe I have a deeper understanding of it. Like I have a different perspective. ⁓

But I think that, ⁓ yeah, it just has a deeper meaning now, I think. Yeah. I think we all believe you too. I think you could say you're gonna go do anything and we're gonna be like, well, I'm not gonna get in the way of whatever Clare's gonna go to do. Watch out. Yeah, watch out. So looking ahead, how much time do you have left at Berkeley? I have, I'm in my sophomore year, so I have about two and a half years left. I'll go on to this.

after this Christmas break, I'll go to my fourth semester and then I'll have four more semesters after that. So junior and senior. It's kind of hard to speculate at this point maybe for you, so don't feel like you have to give an answer. at least from where you're at now, as you look ahead, what are your hopes for the future after you finish school and what could be next? Yeah, I don't know exactly what I want to do. I have some things that I'm interested in.

I obviously want music to be part of my, you career. Just because I love doing that. I'm not looking to be famous or anything. I think it'd be cool to have my music be well known, but I don't think I'd want the famous, you know what I mean, that part of it. I don't know, I love composing, I love singing. I think film would be cool. Maybe I could do it all. I don't know. I am just...

kind of waiting for, I need to make opportunities for myself and also wait for opportunities to arise. So, I don't know, I'm not sure at this point. I'm thinking that I'll figure it out a little bit later. Yeah. I think it's no question as opportunities reveal themselves to you that the tenacity required for them is there within you. thank you. I think you're at a...

awesome point right now. thank you so much. pressure to have the rest of your life mapped out by any means. yeah, between your faith and what you have proven to yourself, what you have accomplished this far, I think that's only going to be wind in your sails as you go forward for sure. I know so many people are rooting for you and I'm thankful just to be able to

kind of catalog this in a small way. This is great. Just to be able to capture that. Because I think it's a really special story that you're, you you probably wouldn't read about in the national headlines or whatever, but it's kind of stuff like this, I think happens every day. I know. And it's cool to be able to sit down with someone and just hear it firsthand. No, yeah, older I get, the more I realize that everybody goes through some crap. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

So one of the things I always do to close out the show, it's usually like the last question I ask is if there is any Alaskan, any person that you think would be a cool conversation on the podcast. Okay. So do you know Dean Robinson.

Dean Robinson. No. So he goes into, I guess I know him because he goes into St. Elias a lot. Okay. ⁓ But he is, him and his family were one of the like original homesteaders on the peninsula. Okay. And so I was talking with my parents about this. I think it'd be cool to see like a little posse of people who were like foundational to the Kenai Peninsula. Totally. So there's Dean Robinson. ⁓ And then I think you might know Marcella.

Yeah, I work with Marcella. ⁓ I think that their family has... Her mom homesteaded on the peninsula. So ⁓ I'm sure there are more people that ⁓ could contribute to that conversation You know what mean? I don't know. I think that'd be cool. I think it is Especially for this podcast. I know. I kind of want to go overtake the senior...

senior homes on the peninsula. that'd be awesome. I need to out a good mobile, a good mobile setup would be best because I think about them like coming down my stairs. I'm like, feel so bad. Like, you know, like a 99 year old lady having to come down my stairs at my house. But yeah, I think that's a great, great suggestion. And I like the idea behind it too. think there's awesome stories about those people that kind of.

established here early on in Peninsula for sure. Well, Clare Henry, thank you so much for giving me opportunity to just share your story. Thanks. I never thought I'd ever do something like this. So thanks for the invitation. Of course. And nothing but ⁓ good things for you in the future. You'll have to keep us posted. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. All right. All righty. Thank

Manny (1:59:23)
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Manny (2:00:06)
committed to growing the state I'm in by sharing thoughtful, honest conversations and voices from all across Alaska. And if you or someone you know has a story that reflects Alaska beyond the postcards, gift shops, and tourist traps, I'd love to hear from you.

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